Sèphera Girón's Blog, page 4

A Different Time for Others

 

A Different Time for Others

Sèphera Girón

For those who don’t know, I’m still grieving for my dad, who died suddenly and unexpectedly in December. My mind is hyper-focused on him, my mom, who has late-stage Alzheimer’s, and the depressing insurmountable and time-consuming tasks that these life events bring. So, my thoughts may be jumbled, and I apologize.

However, it’s Women in Horror month, and the shit has hit the fan in the horror community (again). I’ve been following the latest scandal a bit and listened to the podcast where Brian Keene, Mary SanGiovanni, and Christopher Golden addressed the scandal and offered thoughts around it, their journeys through the horror field these past few decades, and shared distressed, conflicting emotions.

I’m from same era as they are, around the same age, maybe a few years older; we all began our careers around the same time, admired the same authors, and have had our mighty ups and downs; both in our personal lives and professional ones.

One thing about being around as long as we have is that we’ve seen A LOT. Both in society as a whole and in the horror community. The past few years are proving to be smackdown years as the genre evolves and grows.

Times have changed dramatically. And I don’t mean just going from writing on typewriters to home computers to cell phones.

The younger generations roll their eyes when us elders say, “It was a different time.” They need to understand it’s not an excuse; it’s a true fact.  

I was a teen in the seventies in London, Ontario, Canada, not knowing at the time that I was one of the first generations to experience women’s lib, the pill, abortion rights, the sexual revolution, striving for equality in the workplace, saw Star Wars when it was Star Wars, and I experienced a whole world BEFORE Star Wars ever existed!

As I’m of a certain age, I can say without question that I’ve been sexually harassed (as it’s termed these days) at nearly every job I’ve ever had, either by customers or bosses. I’m from the days when if a manager in a bar was mad at the staff, they would wing trays around, smash shit, and scream. Bosses screamed at staff while actively working in the restaurant or store or office or theatre or or or. Teachers gave the strap, threw chalk and erasers, and slapped.  

“Others” were mocked, the scapegoats. Arstsy fartsies, effeminate people, nerds, clowns, and so on.

You were either the bully/boss/gatekeeper, or you weren’t. You learned young how to duck and cover, how to be invisible, how to flirt to get ahead or to deflect harassment. You learned to blend in, whether it was being part of the mocking crowd or shrinking away. You learned how to handshake to be manly, to fit in, to be thought of more than “others.” Movies and TV shows reinforced all the ideas.

Even if you had something to say, (and some did have something to say over the years), a seeming voice of reason, the majority mocked or ignored, especially if you were “others.”

So, you blend in, playing chameleon. As most did. There might be whispers about the mighty gatekeepers, for in those days, there were always gatekeepers. Many gatekeepers were also “others,” but many were not. There was no internet. No way to know who shared your thoughts or experiences. Was it cultural? You knew the Emperor Had No Clothes, but you’re trained to blend in, don’t make waves, or all the gates slam shut.

And in those days, there were not a lot of gates if you had specific goals. Especially in the arts. Especially in the horror community.

The gatekeepers, if we’re now focusing on the horror community, weren’t necessarily editors and publishers themselves. Still, the gatekeepers rubbed elbows with all those who had various powers to find the keys that opened the gates to the kingdom.

People from around the world have different world views, and so kingdoms and gatekeepers and the gatekeepers’ gatekeepers are different as well. In Canada, the general stereotypical regard, especially back in the eighties, was that Americans are brash and rude. They push the envelope; they say stuff out loud that most would never say.  They bark loudly but are usually harmless, and most mean well. So, I watched, giving a wide berth for “other cultures” in case I wasn’t “getting it”.

Being a bit cowed when I was younger, before the travails of life made me snarky and outspoken (as happens with crones), I saw many words and actions that I considered to be anything from demeaning to shocking to cruel and rude. I stood by not doing what I should, not fighting the fight and sometimes even piling on. I, too, have been the asshole. Absolutely.

In many areas of my life, I’ve been quiet when I should have stood up for myself or someone else. We’re the product of our choices and the good thing about life is that you can make new choices if the old ones don’t serve you. We have the ability to transform our thoughts and behaviour. We can learn how to “judge” in more gentle, sympathetic and empathetic ways.

There is something to be said for “gaslighting” and “grooming” (these aren’t just buzzwords as people escaping cults can tell you), whether related to personal relationships, professional relationships, politics, or society. It’s around us in all media and entertainments. It’s only over the past few years that I’ve come to understand that what is now considered “gaslighting” and “grooming” was pretty much everyday life for most of us back in the day.

And maybe that’s why “the kids these days” don’t understand “why didn’t you speak up against this or that?” or “why didn’t you report it?”

The younger generations may not realize that things like human resources departments only really came about in the nineties and beyond. Even into the 2000s, there were no real rights at jobs, at being human. There was no manager to talk to at all about anything. You just had to shut up and suck it up. If you complained about something you heard/saw to the wrong person, it could get out, and you’d never enter the kingdom. There was no one in charge, and self-policing groups for behaviours that weren’t outright assault or stalking weren’t really a thing yet.

There are masks. There are different personas for different people. Not everyone sees a person’s every side. We all have different sides, I would think. Especially if, over the years, we’re on various medications, drugs, alcohol, are in a cult, abusive relationship, someone died, and so on. Some people change over the years. Some for the worst. Some don’t change at all.

If there were words or actions that felt wrong, who did you tell back then?

With no internet or mass communication, there was no way to know that others felt it too.

But now we do have mass communication. Sometimes, too much.

I truly admire the newer generations pointing at infractions of humanity, grievous infractions that many had slipped past, denied, ignored, placated, or shrugged off.

The horror genre has evolved into sprawling octopus tentacles where there are no more true gatekeepers. Not like back in the day. Publishing opportunities are nearly endless. You don’t have to deal with agents if you don’t want to, unlike back in the day. You can pop an editor an email or check out their social media; no more waiting for the key to the kingdom. There are many kingdoms these days.  Everyone is welcome if you show talent.

Many elders like Brian, Mary, Chris and myself are listening and learning. We’re learning that being silent did no one any good. We now have our eyes open that allies fighting for what’s just common decency are in full view and in great numbers. We don’t have to make nice anymore. We can call it as we see it, and people will back us up.

This has been a great awakening for me these past few years. I’m hoping to find my own strength to call out that which isn’t right. And I sincerely apologize to those I let down or didn’t protect. I’m working harder all the time to be better. A few years ago, I began making a YouTube theme of “Writers Behaving Badly” in an attempt to uncover some of these things but then stopped when the depression of lockdown and such kicked in.

My dad was an immigrant, part of a boatload of children from Spain sent to the States as “orphans” to start a new life. His life was a series of horrors; racism, religious abuse, physical abuse and more for being “others”. Yet, for my whole life, he judged people by deeds and character and devoured history about all cultures, races, genders and sexuality, always trying to understand why humans are so horrible to each other. He shunned all organized religions, believed they were invented to control others, and that you don’t need a religion to be a decent person. He was a humanist.

I miss my dad.

But I know, parents die, and I was lucky to have him in my life for sixty years. I credit him and my mom for making me more focused on character and deeds and to be curious about how we historically got here from all cultural, religious, and racial aspects. My whole immediate family is prone to giving people “the benefit of the doubt,” and I’m learning as I age that there’s no law that says we have to do that. That was from the “don’t make waves” generations. We don’t have to be that anymore. I’ve felt distressed for decades about some things I’ve seen and heard in many areas of my life, and regret rarely doing much about but, usually, because I didn’t know what to do.

The younger generations are giving me the strength to see that something CAN be done about a lot of things.

This is eye-opening for so many of us. Sometimes evolution and revolution are good things.

To a very few, I’d like to suggest that instead of shaming and blaming and JUDGING us with “how could you not know?” or “why didn’t you report it?” why not be patient and teach us how to be better at fighting it? One day, you too will be of “a different time.”

These days on social media, there are witch hunts for the witch hunts and I’m not sure that’s any better than the original issue. Digging into people’s privacy (spying on who is “friends” with someone, for instance) and dictating your personal beliefs on how things should be handled (unfriend or else…!) is just as bad as being the misogynist, racist, homophobic asshole you’re complaining about, in my opinion. So to those few, I suggest you focus on getting your own life straight and do your part to fight the fight, which doesn’t include shaming and blaming other people for their own choices in how they handle a controversy if they even know about it. Not everyone spends their time online sucking up your drama.

However, in the spirit of Women in Horror Month, I say, ladies, let’s keep fighting against the misogyny. As those old Virginia Slim cigarette commercials used to say, “We’ve come a long way, baby!” And as we now know, cigarettes will kill you, and so will our old ideas. So, butt out that cigarette, and let’s all move forward to new days ahead.

See how much we've learned since this ad ran in the sixties?!?!

 

And to everyone and especially to those who feel like they’re on the outside looking in, “others,” let’s keep fighting and learning and growing together. There is room for every human being at the table in every house in every kingdom. Claim your spot!

Happy Women in Horror Month!

 

Books from Tales

If you strategize, you can read these books for free on your phone, both Android and iPhone! Please give them "likes" or whatever it is so they can get up in the searches. 


Let Us Burn is finished and up.  This was a team project and a lot of fun to write.




Four Witches and a Dude is a work in progress. Chapter Three should be posted soon. I'm doing this one completely by myself so it will take longer even though the book itself is finished in a rough first draft. It's a learning curve adding pictures and sound effects but I'm enjoying the process!



Anthology

  Dearly Departed came out in late 2022! Have you picked up your copy yet? Lots of horror shorts in this collection by Andrew Robertson and myself from The Great Lakes Horror Company!

Print

Ebook

My Dad, Arsenio Giron, has Died

I’m not at the profound reflection stage of grief yet. I’m still in the early stages of shock and perhaps a bit of denial.

My dad died suddenly in December of heart failure and undiagnosed bowel perforation, and though I was with him, somehow, and am grateful I was there with him when he died, the flashbacks are overwhelming at times.

As anyone who has lost a parent knows or understands, so many pieces float through your mind; the good, the bad and the ugly.

Right now, I’m living in a cloud, a fog, a sadness that I’m not sure I’ll ever overcome, but I guess I will with time. Others who have lost parents tell me that time will help.

Coupled with that, my mom is in late-stage Alzheimer’s, and though she still knows me, her oldest daughter, the rest of her life is a foggy blur that she can’t navigate.

My parents both began life with horrible childhoods, and the end of their lives is awful too, and it devastates me, even when dad was still alive.

They had a rare love story and in finding so many love letters in the house, it breaks my heart even more.

They were perfectly suited for each other, bonded in their tragic beginnings and their passion for music. Dad wrote music that mom played on piano in concerts for decades. He’s a recognized Canadian composer. Mom was a beloved piano teacher. She’s not touched the keys in years. Dad was composing even the day before he died.

They lived for their summers in Maine in the cabin that dad built by hand. They were married not far from where they ultimately built their cabin. This last summer, they made the journey after several years of lockdown, and it sounded like a hellscape experience, but at least they got one last moment.

Mom still lives, but it’s a wretched life, and I had to put her in a home as I can’t manage the wandering and the incontinence plus, I live in a tiny studio apartment. We’ve not told her that her beloved husband has died as we are sure the shock would kill her. I think she knows on some level as the sadness when we visit not only emanates from us but from her as well. She doesn’t dare ask for him; I’m sure she thinks he abandoned her as she had greatly feared when Alzheimer’s began its grip on her. I want to tell her that he didn’t leave her, he never wanted to leave her, he couldn’t even face putting her in a home though she should have been in one a couple of years ago for both of their safety and peace of mind. But there’s no way to explain any of it as she’d be devastated only to forget a moment later…or would she? But why bring such pain to her when her life is so horrible right now. And it will be horrible until she dies too.

I can only hope that dad is with her somehow, to comfort her in her dreams. I hope they can ultimately be reunited with each other, their parents and dad’s brothers, dad’s beloved dog, Mixie, somewhere, somehow. I carry some of dad's ashes in my purse, especially when I visit mom in the hope he’s saying hello somehow. Magical thinking, yes, but it gets me through the day.

Yes, I’m a horror writer, and it’s in writing that I try to battle my demons. My father was one of my biggest fans and cheerleaders. And I’m beyond devastated that he left me so suddenly and completely with no chance to ease into the idea that he would be here no longer on this earth.

Rest in Power, daddy.

 

Notes:

I need to write a better obituary at the funeral home, but I don't have the strength yet. 

I need to organize a memorial service for my dad, but I can't face it yet, nor can my brother. 

We need to find out what to do with hundreds of dad's music manuscripts, most written by hand. Does the University of Western Ontario Music Department want them for the archives? I don't know where to start, and every time I begin an email, I collapse into tears and can't do it.

It occurs to me that the internet is a big place where maybe I can reach out for help. My parents have wills, but they were created decades ago, and we can’t find the original lawyer or the practice to get the original will. We have copies, but we need the original. We’ve exhausted nearly everything we can think of to find them.

If anyone knows what happened to the original lawyer or team, or practice, please reach out to me at sephgiron @ gmail.com

 

The original lawyer:  H. James Wood

Law offices of McLennan and Wright

383 Richmond Street, London, Ontario

Thank you!

 

 

New Review for Dearly Departed!

 The first review for Dearly Departed is in!

Check it out here! Review for Dearly Departed

I love the pictures he used to illustrate the review! They suit the book perfectly!

Halloween Happenings and a New Book!

 

Today our book hovered between second and third place in New Releases in Canada!





Andrew Robertson and Sephera Giron launched a collection of thirteen horror stories just in time for Halloween. Print version is now available on Amazon, soon to be followed by e-book. 
Dearly Departed is published by The Great Lakes Horror Company.


Dearly Departed…
…we are gathered here today to witness zombie drag queens terrorize small-town gay bars, oversexed Jackalopes challenge sanity, skin dealers sell satiety, vampiric lesbians cure what ails them, possessed Ouija boards and evil puppets haunt fans of the occult, and cult-creating club kids teach the children that anyone can be beautiful, but it takes real talent to be truly sickening.

In this 13-tale collection of dark fiction spanning a decade, Sèphera Girón and Andrew Robertson have selected their favourite frights, including new, previously published and alternate versions of their gravest hits.

Halloween Happenings!

 

Amazing Times!

Amazing Times!

My year of turning sixty continues on with great joy.

Tonight I get to see my favourite rock band, The Who, here in Toronto! I’ve seen them many times, and they never disappoint.

I’ve been working hard editing a client’s book so he can get it out for Halloween. Almost finished, perhaps one more day, it’s a big one!

I have a few more appearances this year.

Word-Up in Barrie on October 13, 2022

Frightmare in the Falls, October 28 and 29

World Fantasy Convention, New Orleans, November 3 – 6

 

This caps off an amazing year where I’ve done so much! I’ll do a recap closer to the end of the year.

Of course, there have been sad times with family and friends; illnesses and deaths.

 

I’m super grateful to continue to be healthy though I need to work much harder with my weight.

I’m super grateful to have amazing friends and family I can count on.

I’m grateful to my patrons on Patreon who definitely help my morale and, of course, bank account.

 

Okay, more later, must get back to editing!

 

Hello There!

OBI-WAN SPOILERS

OBI-WAN SPOILERS

OBI-WAN SPOILERS

OBI-WAN SPOILERS

OBI-WAN SPOILERS

OBI-WAN SPOILERS

 Hello there…

Two words that have me bursting into tears for two days now.

I was one who never asked for an Obi-Wan series and approached it with caution and bated breath.

Over the past few years, Disney has brought us The Mandalorian, Boba Fett and now Obi-Wan Kenobi. And I’ve enjoyed the hell out of each and every one, though I never thought I’d watch any of them.

The Star Wars properties empire is mostly referred to as space opera or science fiction but certainly has its roots firmly grounded in horror (among other genres such as Westerns) and that’s likely one of the universal appeals of the franchise. And perhaps that’s why I’ve been a fan since I was a teen watching the first one simply called Star Wars on opening day.

The mini-series Obi-Wan currently playing on DisneyPlus is very much a horror story, especially the finale, and it’s great to wallow around in.

The Obi-Wanseries had a lot of what some would call fan service but when you’re dealing with a prequel full of dearly loved characters, you really need to stay with the script. We saw what happened with the final trilogy of the main movies and what a mess they were as each director/writer attempted something new when something old would have worked far better. The mere existence of the series Obi-Wan Kenobi is fan service, so haters can go hate somewhere else.

The Obi-Wan Kenobi series stuck to something old. We have Luke and Leia and their requisite adopted parents, we have Anakin/Darth Vader, we have the Emperor, and so on.

We also can finally figure out how everyone aged forty years in ten years; life on Tatooine is rough if you ever doubted it before! There was even a joke about aging fast in the final episode. Ewan McGregor is up on what the fans are saying!

And how many damn light sabers are buried in that desert planet!

In the first episode, I felt like we were going through the Boba Fett depression all over again, but luckily the story soon turned to adventure. Yes, all these guys have some serious PTSD from all the shit they’ve been through, but we tune into Star Wars for fun and games, not therapy.

I watched the show week by week so had lots of time to think about it, unlike when I binge-watch things. For the first few episodes, I was on board with what they were doing but a little frustrated it was turning into another Lone Wolf and Cub adventure that we just went through with Mandalorian.

However, little Leia (Vivien Lyra Blair) was great and so I didn’t mind. We had a few storylines going which is always appreciated. Little Luke (Grant Feely) did a great job as well. Both children had huge boots to fill and both did so with flying colours!

Is Carrie Fisher channeling Leia into Vivien? It was uncanny how much they were one and the same.

I absolutely loved the character of Third Sister, Reva (Moses Ingram). She rocked. I loved her parkour scene in one of the early episodes. So badass! Her story was amazing and was pretty much what I had expected but that didn’t take my joy away. Moses Ingram did a fantastic job of playing conflicted Reva, especially as we hurtled towards the end of season one. Hate and revenge had her survive that death blow and her character arc worked really well. There’s a rumour she’ll get her own show and I hope so.

 The scene where Darth is unmasked like the Phantom of the Opera or Phantom of the Paradise in the final battle with Obi-Wan was both poignant and horrific. We can see Hayden Christiensen in there which is why I’m sure they made sure to unmask him a bit. After all, why bother bringing him back if we never actually see him as James Earl Jones is still voicing Vader. But we got to see and hear Hayden as Darth for a few minutes and that was very cool. That was one of my favourite scenes, how he was Vader and Anakin, his voice changing, his face changing, the lighting changing as Anakin somewhat forgives Obi-Wan (or at least relieves Obi-Wan of Obi-Wan's guilt) and embraces Darth Vader. That’s how I see it, anyway.

Obi-Wan is set free from ten years of angst by Anakin Vader’s revelations. Much like a parent who finally realizes their child is their own person and will not always make the choices we had hoped for them.

The flashback duel in the fifth episode was great as we got to see Hayden playing younger Anakin which was worth bringing him back for. I always liked him and never got the hate for him at all, but of course, I thought he was cute, even when or maybe especially when he was evil, but that’s my horror writer heart speaking again.

How cool was it to see Darth Vader kicking ass all over the place and pulling down that Star Destroyer?


And we finally learned why Jedis are always learning how to lift rocks! It sure comes in handy to know how to lift them, now doesn't it?




How cool was that fight scene?
There were lots of touches, fan service, easter eggs, whatever you want to call them. Lots for fans to delight in but a simple enough story that new people could enter the franchise and not be lost.

Of course, let’s not forget the music. Real Star Wars music for the finale with some of our favourite official John Williams themes in just the right places to make us all sob like babies.

There were a couple of timeline/wtf issues fixed and by the end of it all, I don’t think there were any plot hole issues going into A New Hope and yet, room for another season as well with the addition of Qui-Gon Jinn.

I’m keeping this short as I’m fighting deadlines but had to chime in on this. It’s been well over a day since I watched the finale but I’m still super emotional about it all.

Which is funny because I never ever thought I’d be emotional about this show. And especially after I got to see Luke being badass in The Mandalorian, I felt I could die complete. But I’m glad I’m not dead yet and can continue to enjoy these little Star Wars shows that I had always hoped for back when I was fourteen!

Sure, there are flaws and blahblahblah but who cares? This show delivered much more than I ever dreamed and I’m thankful Ewan McGregor put so much love and care into it as both an actor and a producer. 

Thank you, Obi-Wan Ewan, you have brought us all so much hope!

Sephera Giron reads Horror on June 21, 2022 at 9 pm EST

On Tuesday, June 21, 2022 at 9 pm EST, I'll be reading from one of my books for about half an hour. 
This live horror event is sponsored by The Canada Council for the Arts for the National Reading Program by The Writers Union of Canada. 
Please join me for this live event!
Tell your horror-loving friends!
It all takes place on my Twitch channel. You don't have to join Twitch to watch but if you want to ask questions, you have to make a free account. 
Thank you all for your support! I truly appreciate it!
Twitch: http://twitch.tv/sephera666


 

Amber Heard's $22,000 a month house

I've been trying really hard not to have many controversial opinions online these days, I save them for my Patreon. 

If you want my trial thoughts etc. you can go hear them there. 

But I really need to chime in on this whole Amber Heard rental house bru-ha-ha without wading into trial stuff.

 Okay, folks, let's get real here. 

Once you settle down from hearing the number "$22,000" as one month's rent for a very cool house, stop and think for a second. 

Or rather, I'll give you my thoughts. 

I'm far from rich. Barely scraping by most times, to be honest, as a working writer. Good months, bad months. But I've found a nice co-op that isn't too expensive and therefore since I'm not working just to pay my rent most of the time anymore, I can go to a writer's conference now and again. 

Last month, I stayed at a hotel in Denver Colorado for one of them. The discount convention rate for one regular room with two beds was $175.00US plus various taxes, tips, and so on per night. That's for one average regular person with no extras, no room service or luxuries, no little couch, no tables or closets. One small bar fridge, one safe, one hairdryer. No bathtub. I paid about a grand US for a five-night stay. 

So, let's say, I wanted a room with more amenities and perhaps an adjoining room for my baby. For that hotel, it would be several hundred per night. 

When you're pointing fingers at Amber Heard for spending $22,000 per month at a mansion near the trial, do the math!

It was way cheaper for her to rent that house, and more comfortable for the baby and nanny than to stay in some luxury hotel somewhere. 

I don't know who all she has living with her, but I would venture to say she had the baby, at least one nanny, Whitney at the minimum living there. That assortment of people in let's say three rooms would be at my writer convention rate would be $600 US a night. Multiply that by 30 nights. That's $18,000 if they had three little hotel rooms similar to the one I had in Denver. 

And you know that they would likely need at least ten grand a night at a hotel for all the staff and security. 

So to rent out a house for $22,000 that has at the minimum three rooms of people in it and more likely there were way more people than Amber, Whitney, baby and nanny in the house. There would have been security. Did she bring her own hair and makeup people or did local people come in? Did other people stay? Personal assistants? Chef? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?

Regardless of what I think about the case, this hubbub about her house rental is a bit much. People just want to look for issues where there are none. She was saving money with that house considering the lifestyle that she's used to living, and really, $40,000 or so for accommodations during one of the biggest celebrity trials ever, isn't that much for a big celebrity. She did make millions from Aquaman, and her beauty endorsements. It's a different world than most of us live in. She came from nothing to get there and shouldn't have anyone tell her how to spend her money if she's not hurting anyone. (Yes, I know she owes the divorce money but right now, she has/had a trial to fight and an entourage including her baby to keep comfortable in the lifestyle they are all accustomed.) When she rented the place, she likely thought she would win. Hell, I thought she would win! Ah, how young we all were back then...before the trial began...

Are there a ton of houses to rent for six weeks in the area that she had to choose from and went for the most expensive? Maybe there were no two grand a month homes for rent in that time block for only six weeks. Some cities have a housing crisis, like we have here in Toronto. Maybe there were only a couple of houses and some were too small for however many people and even though that mansion is huge, there might not have been much in-between for that specific slot of time, for rent. I don't really know how it rolls in the world of the wealthy when it comes to property rentals. 

At any rate, getting all up about that house rental is just ridiculous. 

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest! 

Sèphera's Stokercon Schedule