Leslie Glass's Blog, page 358

Opioid Deaths Have Surpassed Vietnam War Fatalities, Study Says

From The Fix:

American deaths as a result of the opioid crisis have surpassed those during the Vietnam War, a new study has found.

According to the Washington Post, less than 1% of American deaths in the year 1968 were due to serving in the Vietnam war. Now, a new study has found that in 2016, 1.5% of deaths were at the hands of opioids.

The study, which was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, looked at the 15-year period from January 2001 to December 2016 to determine the number of American deaths caused by the opioid crisis.

It found that between 2001 and 2016, the number of deaths caused by the opioid crisis rose from 9,489 to 42 ,245—a 345% increase.

According to the study, in 2001, opioids were responsible for 0.4% of deaths, or 1 in 255 people. But 15 years later, in 2016, that rose to 1.5%, or 1 in 65 deaths—a 292% increase. Study authors found that the greatest impact was on those ages 24 to 35, an age group in which 20% of deaths were associated with opioids. Study authors also found that deaths connected to opioids were more prominent in men than women.

In all, study authors estimate that in 2016 alone, nearly 1.7 million years of life were lost in the U.S. population due to the opioid crisis.

“These findings highlight changes in the burden of opioid-related deaths over time and across demographic groups in the United States,” study authors wrote. “They demonstrate the important role of opioid overdose in deaths of adolescents and young adults as well as the disproportionate burden of overdose among men.”

Study findings also indicated that there has been an increase in the number of opioid-related deaths in those 55 and older.

“The relative increase in recent years requires attention, as it could be indicative of an aging population with increasing prevalence of opioid use disorder,” study authors noted. “This is particularly problematic as recent estimates from the United States suggest that the prevalence of opioid misuse among adults aged 50 years and older is expected to double (from 1.2% to 2.4%) between 2004 and 2020.”

Because of the impact on those of younger ages, study authors also indicated that there is a need to put more programs and policies in place.

“Premature death from opioid-related causes imposes an enormous public health burden across the United States,” study authors wrote. “The recent increase in deaths attributable to opioids among those aged 15 to 34 years highlights a need for targeted programs and policies that focus on improved addiction care and harm reduction measures in this high-risk population.”

According to the Post, this research leaned on Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) data, which is thought to underestimate the number of opioid deaths by 20 to 30%, resulting in a “conservative estimate” of the true impact of the crisis.

The post Opioid Deaths Have Surpassed Vietnam War Fatalities, Study Says appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

The Secret Of Successful Addiction Recovery

From Addiction Blog:

First, Some Definitions

Q: What does the word “recovery” signify anyway?

A: It depends on who you are.

There are divided opinions among experts about how to explain the concept of addiction recovery. For some, recovery is simply abstinence or remaining sober, while for others it’s a lot more complex and multidimensional. There are even doubts over whether someone is “in recovery” if they’re on maintenance medication, such as methadone or buprenorphine.

Some addiction specialists don’t categorize individuals as “recovering” addicts if they use in moderation without harmful consequences after a sustained period of sobriety. Others see reduced harm as a type of “recovery” in an of itself.

We’re here propose a new idea: Addiction recovery means something different to everyone who’s participating in it. We are each individuals. Substances affect us different. Why should recovery be the same? In sum, there is a spectrum of adherence to standard ideology….from total abstinence to reduced drug intake. Just as we are all evolving, so is “addiction recovery”.

Still, there are some government standards that we can look to as guidelines.




SAMHSA’s Definition Of Success

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) can help guide us to understanding what addiction recovery is. According to SAMHSA, recovery is a process of change through which individuals improve their health and well-being, live self-directed lives, and strive to reach their full potential. The government organization identifies 4 (four) characteristics which classify individuals as addicts in recovery:

The ability to address problems as they happen, without using, and without getting stressed out.
The existence of at least one person with whom the addict can be completely honest.
The presence of personal boundaries and making clear distinctions which issues belong to the addict and which ones belong to others.
The practice of taking the time to restore physical, mental and emotional energy.

For more information on how SAMHSA views addiction recovery, visit:

SAMHSA’s Recovery and Recovery Support
SAMHSA’s Publications and Resources on Recovery and Recovery Support
The National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices (NREPP)

But what’s the secret to this successful recovery? Why do some people “get it” and others do not?

Barriers

Let’s face it. Getting substances out of your system is just the beginning. To live a drug-free life, we’ve got to change the inner landscape. So, when people ask themselves what makes recovery so difficult, they need to look into the complexity of substance addiction itself.

Let’s start with the basics first.

Unfortunately, stigma still revolves around addiction. This is due to the fact that many people are not familiar with the way drugs impact a person’s brain and behavior. As a result of the stigma attached to addiction, the majority of substance abusers feel ashamed, guilty, and insecure to seek help and enter treatment.

In other words, the lack of education and motivation can makes recovery so difficult for some people.

Additionally, the recovery process itself involves the following difficulties for substance abusers:

Co-occurring mental disorders might require dual-diagnosis and parallel treatment.
Fear of failure and relapse.
Fear of triggers.
Transition from home to inpatient facility might be emotionally discomforting.
Unpleasant withdrawal symptoms.

The Secret Of Success

In order to succeed in addiction recovery, you need to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all treatment program. Each person responds differently to treatment phases and modalities.

So, we believe that the secret of success is careful assessment, evaluation, and recommendations for your treatment…that are personalized to you!

A successful recovery plan requires:

Clear guidelines to assessing treatment progress.
Clear, coherent theory of behavior change applied by counselors.
Constantly applying and upgrading science to addiction treatment.
Patient-counselor relationship based on trust.
The substance abuser 100% energy, motivation and devotion.
Well established after-care plan.

Where To Start

So, if you are facing addiction problems and consider entering treatment you need to know from where to start. Once you feel as if you need help and are ready to ask for it…call your family doctor. You can also call:

An addiction treatment center.
A licensed clinical worker.
A medical doctor who specializes in addiction.
A psychologist.
A psychiatrist.

Visit The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) physician finder . Additionally, if you are looking for treatment programs you can use the American Academy of Addiction Psychiatry (AAAP) patient referral program.

A doctor’s referral to treatment is often required before you begin a formal treatment plan. Once you’re in the offfice, you can expect to discuss drug use patterns and you will likely go through screening. You may be asked to provide a urine or blood sample, and will likely go through an interview of about 30-45 minutes.

What’s also important to understand is that addiction recovery is a multiple step journey, it’s not something which can be achieved overnight, there is no any kind of medication or remedy that might work as a magic wand.

5 Things To Avoid

Battling with addiction is internal. It can be a mind game. So, here are some of the more common habits you should avoid if you want to life live without substances.

Avoid doing things which make you feel bored. Boredom is one of the most common reasons for engaging in addiction. Find other things that can entertain you.
Avoid shame. You can be your own worst enemy. Instead of guilt, learn to accept your addiction as a thing of the past and embrace it as a growing experience.
Avoid isolation. Isolation contributes to feelings of loneliness and depression. Reach out to friends, family, and others in recovery for support.
Avoid being in the state of denial. Addiction is a part of your life and only you can do something towards overcoming it.
Avoid lying. The base of every successful addiction recovery is honesty.

An Extra Tip

If you want your treatment to work you need to believe that addiction is treatable. An effective addiction recovery program is designed to answer multiple needs, not just substance abuse. So, successful treatment should address medical, psychological, social and legal problems connected to your substance abuse. In order to be successful, your addiction recovery should match your age, gender, ethnicity, and culture as well.

The post The Secret Of Successful Addiction Recovery appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Treatment Center Referral? Do This First

Just because a treatment center referral sounds good, you still have to check it out. If you have been referred to a substance abuse treatment center, there are things you need to do to ensure your safety or the safety of your loved one. First, consider any referrals from friends, your physician, an online website, or an ad as a starting point for research, only. It doesn’t matter who refers you to a center, you have to research the facility and make sure it’s a good fit for your needs.

Steps to Stay Safe When You Have Treatment Center Referral

Before choosing a facility or giving any person or center your information be sure:

The facility is upfront about costs (including urine screenings and other tests), insurance deductibles, copays, and other out-of-pocket expenses.
The facility has a policy about patient referrals and does not engage in patient brokering by paying for patients.
The facility is accredited. Most facilities want to brag about accreditation and will have a certification from the Commission on Accreditation of Rehab Facilities (CARF) or the Joint Commission Accreditation for Addiction Treatment Gold Seal for Behavioral Health on their website and marketing material.
The facility has full time credentialed addiction counselors on staff, not just staff that is trained in recovery or related field. And the facility website has photographs of the staff with bios and contact information.
The facility is equipped to handle any co-occurring disorders and treatment for these disorders are integrated into the program curriculum or tracks, and staff can assess, identify interventions, and prescribe medications.
The facility practices evidence-based treatments and life-coping skills such as through:


Acceptance-commitment therapy
Cognitive behavior therapy
Community Reinforcement and Family Training
Community reinforcement approach
Dialectical behavior therapy
Medicated Assisted Treatment
Multi-Dimensional Family Therapy


The facility is proud of their daily schedule and is eager to share it with you. You should see structured and supervised activities such as weekday programs, weekend programs, group counseling, individual counseling, support group, chores, and recreational activities.
The facility offers options for family involvement such as education abuse and support.
The facility has dedicated discharge planners and continuing care programs or mentors.
The facility is dedicated to patient safety and have programs in place to deal with patient relapses that includes support even if it means transferring them to a detox facility or another program.

The post Treatment Center Referral? Do This First appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

How can patients be protected from post-surgery opioid addiction?

From Science Daily Greater coordination is needed between surgeons and physicians about the prescription of pain-relieving opioid drugs following surgery to help identify patients who are at risk of becoming opioid addicts. This is according to Michael Klueh of the University of Michigan in the US who led a retrospective review of medical specialty areas to find out which are most likely to prescribe opioids for the first time to postoperative patients. The research is published in the Journal of General Internal Medicine which is the official journal of the Society of General Internal Medicine and is published by Springer Nature.

Exposure to opioids is ubiquitous in surgical care in the US, and over-prescription is a common occurrence following operations. This has its drawbacks, as the long-term use of such medication can lead to addiction. A recent study showed that up to seven per cent of all patients who were prescribed such painkillers following surgery develop a persistent habit.

“Millions of Americans each year are continuing opioid use beyond the normal recovery period of 90 days after a surgical procedure,” explains Klueh.

Klueh and his colleagues analyzed a national dataset of insurance claims filed by patients between 18 and 64 years old who had undergone surgical procedures between 2008 and 2014. All had received opioid drugs as a form of pain relief for the first time in their lives. In all, the researchers identified 5276 patients who had developed persistent drug habits and continued filing opioid prescriptions three to six months after their operations had taken place — well past the stage that the use of such medication is deemed normal. Klueh’s team noted which medical practitioners had provided them with the prescriptions.

The researchers found that surgeons (69 per cent) wrote most prescriptions in the three months following surgery, followed by primary care physicians (13 per cent), emergency medicine personnel (2 per cent) and physical medicine and rehabilitation staff (1 per cent). All other specialties accounted for 15 per cent of such prescriptions. In contrast, nine to twelve months after surgery, the majority of opioid prescriptions were provided by primary care physicians (53 per cent), followed by surgeons (11 per cent).

“Heightened awareness among patients, surgeons, and primary care physicians that surgery increases the risk of new persistent opioid use is necessary to promote improved communication and aggressive tapering of opioids while still in the acute surgical period,” advises Klueh, who believes that patients should be adequately informed about the realities of postoperative pain, and how long they can safely use opioids following surgery.

Klueh calls for enhanced care coordination between surgeons and primary care physicians to allow for the swift identification of patients at risk of developing new opioid use habits, so that further misuse and dependence can be prevented. Surgeons and physicians should also consider the use of specific non-opioid postoperative painkillers.

“Shorter initial opioid prescriptions after surgery would trigger a feedback loop between patient and physician, allowing surgeons to rapidly identify patients that continue to require opioids,” says Klueh.

The post How can patients be protected from post-surgery opioid addiction? appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Are Prescription Meds Making A Depressed America?

From the LA Times by Karen Kaplan The incidence of depression has been rising in the U.S. for more than a decade. So has Americans’ reliance on prescription medications that list depression as a possible side effect.

Coincidence?

Perhaps not, according to a new study in the Journal of the American Medical Assn.

Using 10 years of data collected from more than 26,000 Americans, researchers reported a significant link between the use of medications with the potential to cause depression and the chances of becoming depressed.

For example, among the 4,394 people who took one prescription drug that had depression as a possible side effect, 6.9% experienced depression. Of the 1,418 who took two such drugs, 9.5% became depressed, as did 15.3% of the 710 people who took three or more of the medications.

Meanwhile, the prevalence of depression among the 17,039 who didn’t take any of these medications was 4.7%.

All of these figures were adjusted for age, sex, race and ethnicity, education and job status, family income, body mass index and other health factors, according to the study.

The researchers, led by Dr. Dima Mazen Qato of the College of Pharmacy at the University of Illinois at Chicago, conducted the same analysis with medications that did not list depression as a possible side effect. In this case, the prevalence of depression among those who didn’t take any such drugs (5.5%) was not significantly different statistically from the prevalence for those who took one or more medications not linked to depression. The rates of depression among this group were 6.6% for those taking one drug, 5.1% for those taking two, and 6% for those taking three or more.

The data in the study came from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, a project of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Qato and her team focused on five consecutive survey cycles, starting with the one taken in 2005 and 2006 and ending with the most recent, done in 2013 and 2014. Participants received home visits from interviewers who asked to see all prescription medications they had taken in the previous 30 days.

Researchers then used the Micromedex database to look up side effects for each of the drugs. Of particular interest were “depression,” “depressive disorder,” “suicide,” “suicidal thoughts,” “suicidal ideation” and “suicidal behavior,” the study said.

The researchers tallied more than 200 medications that listed at least one of these side effects. Altogether, 37% — representing more than 1 in 3 Americans — took at least one of the drugs on the list.

Among the most common medications with such side effects were antidepressants (taken by 15.1% of participants in the study’s most recent years), gastrointestinal agents to treat conditions like acid reflux (taken by 9.5% of study participants), beta blockers for high blood pressure (taken by 7.9% of participants), hormones used to prevent pregnancy or treat symptoms of menopause (taken by 7.8% of participants), anticonvulsant drugs (taken by 7.7% of participants) and prescription pain relievers (taken by 7.4% of participants).

In the earliest years of the study, 6.9% of people used at least three drugs that listed depression as a possible side effect. By the end of the study period, that figure had risen to 9.5% — a difference that was large enough to be statistically significant.

In addition, the proportion of people who took at least one drug that listed suicidal symptoms as a possible side effect rose from 17.3% to 23.5% over the course of the study. That increase was also statistically significant.

The researchers conducted a separate analysis that excluded people taking antidepressants. Even then, depression was found in 8.5% of those taking three or more drugs with the potential to cause it, compared with 4.5% of those who took no such drugs, according to the study.

The survey data did not include information on participants’ mental health histories, so the study’s authors could not take that into account. Nor could they tell whether people had used over-the-counter medications that could have depression as a side effect, among other limitations.

Still, the findings fit with other recent studies that have linked the use of proton pump inhibitors or oral contraceptives with increased odds of depression. They do not show that prescription medications are responsible for an increase in depression — only that there is a correlation between the two.

That should prompt doctors and patients to be mindful of the potential side effects of common prescription drugs, especially if they are taking more than one, the study authors concluded.

“Physicians should consider discussing these associations with their patients who are prescribed medications that have depression as a potential adverse effect,” they wrote.

The study was funded by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.

The post Are Prescription Meds Making A Depressed America? appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

How Does Alcohol Affect Your Sleep?

From Medical News Today by Ana Sandoiu A new study assesses the effect of alcohol consumption on the restorative quality of sleep. The findings might make you want to change your drinking — and implicitly, your sleeping — habits.

That extra glass of wine could make your sleep less restful and regenerative.

The negative health consequences of alcohol are numerous. From more alarming outcomes such as cancer to more “cosmetic” inconveniences such as premature signs of aging, alcoholic beverages seem to hide a range of toxic effects that can slowly take a toll on our health.

Most of us probably think that unless someone has alcohol dependency or drinks heavily, they’re out of alcohol’s negative reach. But more and more studies are pointing to a different conclusion.

A recent study reported by Medical News Today, for example, suggested that just one drink can shorten our lifespan. The jury’s still out on whether drinking in moderation is good for you, but some studies have suggested that even light drinkers are at risk of cancer due to their alcohol intake.

A new study, carried out by Finnish-based researchers, adds to these dire prospects. Julia Pietilä, a researcher at the Faculty of Biomedical Sciences and Engineering at Tampere University of Technology in Finland, is the first author of the paper, which was published in the journal JMIR Mental Health.

The post How Does Alcohol Affect Your Sleep? appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Managing Mental Health And Addiction Is Resilience

It’s a funny thing when you write about your own mental health. On the one hand, I do so because I have certain insights into all of this that might make my point of view helpful to some people. On the other hand, making my own life public doesn’t come without a price, so I want to be clear about something.

My recovery, and my ongoing work to understand mental health and how to manage it has not made me weak or fragile, it’s made me stronger and more resilient.

Having the capacity to fight through the tough times has created a foundation of survival, strength and purpose. It’s allowed me to feel confident in myself and my capacity to take care of myself. I’d even go so far to say as it’s helped me become more successful in how I handle my professional life and personal relationships. I’ve often thought if I was ever a captive of war, they wouldn’t be able to break me. That probably sounds weird, but what I mean is, I stand for something. I stand for myself and my well-being, and in my own mind, that’s pushed me closer to seeing myself as a soldier, not a victim.

When I write about the fragility of mental health and how quickly one can get knocked off their stability, I’m trying to help people understand why education and being vigilant about one’s health and wellness is so important. I’m making a point about valuing health and wellness as a goal as much as we value the other goals we set for ourselves. 

When I read the stories about suicides in the news it’s always the same – he pushed himself too hard, she wasn’t getting help for troubles she was having, an addiction had returned and taken hold – maybe even for someone who had had lots of recovery.

That’s why we must pay attention. That is why we have to ask our loved ones who push themselves so hard, are you OK? Do you need to stop for a while? We need to create lifestyles where it’s acceptable to take care of one’s mind, body and soul.

If you get cancer, no one questions a leave of absence at work. AND, they send flowers. Why are we still in a world where when mental issues, or addiction issues return, we have to hide it and be afraid of losing our jobs? And trust me, no one sends flowers.

It’s my belief that people who are brave enough to try and deal with their addictions or mental health issues are the strongest of all. We are a group of people willing to look at ourselves, our issues, our pasts and try and make sense of it—all while building a newer, safer world to live in. I’m sure many will disagree with me, but in some cases, I believe when we see people taking their own lives or dying of drugs and alcohol there is a failure in the system around them. We have compliance departments in companies to ensure financial regulations are followed, we have human resources to hire and help with roles, so where are the company therapists? Where are the health and wellness guidelines?

That is why we must normalize talking about mental health and addiction recovery. So, when people are in trouble, they don’t feel scared to say something to the people around them who may be able to help.

The post Managing Mental Health And Addiction Is Resilience appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

When Will Addiction Insurance Coverage Match Need

Insurance coverage does not currently meet addiction treatment needs. Addiction is now defined as a chronic relapsing brain disease that requires monitoring and treatment throughout a patient’s life. Furthermore, Federal parity laws require that insurance providers cover mental health care at the same level they provide for physical health care. However, there are legacy loopholes that allow insurers to deny coverage of treatments and certain medications, including buprenorphine, a medication used in opioid addiction treatment that decreases withdrawal symptoms and drug cravings, that have been proven to help.

This means that people whose insurance covered the prescription opioids that wrecked their lives, may not have insurance coverage for the treatment and medications that can help them successfully navigate through recovery. It’s a recognized problem that is going to take new laws, and enforcement of those laws to change.

Many say the industry will undergo a complete change over the next decade. The congressional investigations into rehab marketing and Google’s new ad certification program for treatment providers will help clear away some of the corruption that is mitigating advancements in care.

Right now, there simply isn’t enough regulation to prevent insurance money and the drugs it covers, from getting into the wrong hands. As regulations tighten, the industry will change. However, medical and professional recovery experts and representatives of the insurance industry will have to work together to identify the treatment methods that are the most effective and how they should be covered.

But, up until recently, there has been little research into the effectiveness of the Affordable Care Act though experts are aware of coverage barriers state to state. They just don’t have a clear picture of how these barriers are affecting coverage of addiction medications or limiting treatment options. Even though medication-assisted treatment was listed as an essential health benefit, coverage isn’t being provided to all who need it.

Hopefully, recovery professionals will continue to bang the gong for long-term diverse treatment options, researchers will continue to analyze how those options work, and lawmakers will continue to identify areas within the industry that need to be rebuilt with a solid legal foundation. If they do, changes are sure to come to the insurance industry too.

The post When Will Addiction Insurance Coverage Match Need appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

Am I Suicidal?

Last week, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain ended their lives. News feeds are filled with suicide warning signs, but no one’s answered these questions: Am I suicidal? How would I know?

What My Controlled Depression Looks Like

Depression tops the lists of warning signs, so let’s explore that symptom first. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I’ve been on the same medication for almost four years now, and I am quite happy most days. I don’t stay in bed all day watching Lifetime movies and crying. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

For years, I didn’t want to be on any medication for depression. I tried quitting more than once. Sometimes with my doctor’s permission, sometimes not. My chemical balance manifests itself as agitation. Without this medication, my anger grows. I’m snappy and edgy. Struggling to fight that biology and be pleasant and nice was never possible. I’ve finally come to accept my reality.

My Thoughts Of Suicide

When I was in middle school, I often wanted to die. Many times, I tried to smother myself. Thank goodness the method I chose to destroy myself with actually helped me calm down. Does that check the box on having a plan? Or does that mean I wasn’t really serious about committing suicide?

Sometime in my early 20s, my thoughts of suicide shifted. Instead of actively wanting to end my life, I passively begged God to swallow me up or strike me down. This was my go-to solution for all big problems, and I found myself in this dark place about once a month for over 25 years.

The Factor No One’s Talking About

A few months ago, I finally made the connection between my extreme sorrow and wanting to die. It was my all or nothing thinking. Everything was either blissfully perfect or horrific. This rigid thinking permeated every problem I faced. Since I pinpointed this unhealthy pattern of thinking, I’ve challenged myself to brainstorm more choices. And I haven’t gone to that dark place where I only have two choices for problem solving.

Having Thoughts Of Suicide Is Different Than Being Suicidal

According to Medical News Today:

Suicidal thoughts are common, and many people experience them when they are undergoing stress or experiencing depression. In most cases, these are temporary and can be treated, but in some cases, they place the individual at risk for attempting or completing suicide. Most people who have suicidal thoughts do not carry them through to their conclusion.

There Isn’t A Simple Answer

We can’t look back at Kate Spade’s life and say, “There’s the ONE sign someone should have acted on.” Publishing lists and hotline numbers won’t save every hurting soul, no matter how much I wish it would. We can do everything humanly possible to help someone and it might not be enough. How do we go on?

A 12-Step recovery program has been more helpful for me than any counseling or self-help books. In the rooms of recovery, I learned:

A new way of healthy thinking
How to set healthy boundaries
That I have value
How to take care of myself
How to not isolate myself

We still print the lists and the hotline number. We try to be loving and kind. We talk about our troubles and what helped us because we desperately want to help someone else.

In case you haven’t seen this lately, the confidential National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached toll-free on 1-800-273-TALK(8255), 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your life DOES matter. Please reach out for help.

The post Am I Suicidal? appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.

One Parent’s Story: The Only Life I Could Save

A new memoir by author Katherine Ketcham tells one parent’s story, her story, of transformation, understanding, and healing, in the face of her son’s addiction and eventual path to recovery.

The Recovery Research Institute sat down with Author Katherine Ketcham to talk about her new book, The Only Life I Could Save, and what advice she would give to family members caught in a similar struggle to help save a loved one from addiction.

“There are two pathways before you – one is the road to addiction and the other is the path to recovery.  If you choose to go down the addiction road, I cannot go with you for that journey will destroy us all. But if you choose the recovery pathway, I will walk with you to the ends of the earth.” – Katherine Ketcham

What Inspired You To Write This Book?

When my son, Ben, started using drugs at age 12, I had coauthored half a dozen books on addiction. I worked with teens and parents at the Juvenile Justice Center and I was starting to write a book about adolescent addiction (“Teens Under the Influence”). I was an “expert” and yet when the disease walked through my front door, I became the parent I was talking to in my books. I was struck dumb – deeply confused about what to do and where to turn for help, paralyzed with fear, consumed with guilt and shame about my inability to prevent or stop the disease from threatening my child’s life.

Who Is This Book Dedicated To?

From a different perspective, The Only Life I Could Save is a love letter to my son, my husband and daughters, to all the people I met along the way who helped us with their courage and compassion, especially the mothers, fathers, and siblings I met in treatment and in recovery groups. A group of strangers became my most trusted friends, for with them I could share my deepest emotions, my shame and my guilt, and know that they understood and would not judge.

In the end, I think this book is testament to forgiveness as I honor the flaws and frailties that define what it means to be human. A close friend who lost her son to an opioid overdose recently said, “I have soft eyes.” We cry together, knowing that our experiences with our children have changed the way we look at the world. Our experiences allow us to see deeper, beneath the surface, knowing that every person on this earth has experienced suffering and loss. Looking at others with soft eyes, we work hard every day to avoid judgments and instead offer empathy, kindness, and understanding to friends and strangers alike.

Who Is The Intended Audience For The Book?

I wrote the book as a mother, not as an expert, and I wrote it for other mothers and father who, like me, are confused, hoping the problem will fade away, who feel alone, afraid, and judged by others. Even unconditional love cannot pull a child back from the abyss of addiction. By telling my story honestly and openly, exposing my deepest fears and most agonizing struggles, I hope that other family members will see themselves in the mirror of my story and realize they are not alone.

What Is The Meaning Behind The Title?

I couldn’t save my son Ben – I could only save myself. I wrestled for a long time with the concept of “letting go,” believing that if I fought hard enough and loved deeply enough, I could make miracles happen. I lived under the illusion that I could keep Ben safe, protect him from harm, just as I did when he was a child. The parental instinct to protect and defend your child at all costs is deeply embedded, part of our DNA.  I had to fight that instinct, and it was a tooth-and-nail battle with myself to let go and accept the fact that I did not have the power to save Ben’s life. That was his task, his challenge, his fate.

Letting go of the belief that I could change another person’s life allowed me to understand and accept that the only life I could save was my own. I had to come back to myself, and in that process I was changed, humbled, radically transformed as I found courage and strength in a circle of strangers who were struggling, like me, to deal with their fear, pain, and helplessness. After so many tears, I discovered laughter again.  After so much anguish, I found hope again.

What Is The Biggest Lesson You Learned On This Journey?

Let go. But letting go, as I came to realize, is not the same as abandonment. I never abandoned my son or my unconditional love for him, and I never let go of the hope that he would find his way home to recovery. Instead, I let go of the illusion that I could control his life. I was able to let go when I asked for help and discovered a community of fellow human beings who were also hurting and afraid. We shared our stories, and in joining my story with others on the same journey, I discovered that I was not alone.

What Advice Would You Give Others?

Tell your story. Listen to other people’s stories. Create a community where it is safe to tell your stories, where you can open your heart and soul to others who are also suffering and struggling with a child’s drug use or substance use disorder. Walking into a room of strangers is not easy but as one father recently told me, “it was one of the best things we ever did.”

“It was hard to tell people about our experience but after telling our stories, my wife and I both felt as if a weight was lifted off our shoulders. It was a welcome feeling and very humbling to be part of a group that exists only to support each other, share their stories, and give each other the best advice they can to help each other out. No promises, no guarantees, we just offered each other love, hope and support with complete honesty, without any fear of judgment.”

Also, always remember that there is no amount of knowledge that can protect you from the pain and trauma of this disease, and nothing you have said or done caused it. I keep going back to the 3 C’s:

You didn’t Cause it
You can’t Control it
You can’t Cure it.

The post One Parent’s Story: The Only Life I Could Save appeared first on Reach Out Recovery.