Expat Scribe's Blog: Scribbles of an Eternal Expatriate

Before You End It All, Read This Book

A review of To Thrive by Dr. Min Deng

To anyone who has contemplated “ending it all,” this book is for you. If this sounds like an intro to a YouTube video, rest assured it’s not.

The content is from Min Deng, a developmental psychologist who has struggled with suicidal ideation for most of her life. Her experiences have led her to write a series of books on the topic and form a nonprofit organization called “Mental Health CPR.” She hopes that sharing her ordeals will help those similarly afflicted.

This book also helps the loved ones and caregivers of those suffering from suicidal ideation because it provides a glimpse into what’s going on in their minds. One example comes from the author herself. This was her logic for ending her life: “From the age of 25, everything goes downhill. Our intelligence, memory, cognitive skills, executive functioning, physical appearance, physical strength. What’s the point in living while witnessing and experiencing such decline in all dimensions of my being?” How can an extremely intelligent, highly educated individual think such BS?

Could she not see how shallow and defeating this thought trajectory was? And at such a young age to give up! It trashed all the accomplishments so many much, much older people have achieved. History has so many examples of highly accomplished people who began succeeding only in midlife and even beyond. The author’s statement also shows very limited thinking; what pundits call “tunnel vision.”

If any of you out there are harboring similar thoughts, STOP! Find a mentor or any (even mildly) accomplished person to kick you out of this locked-in thinking and motivate you to live a purposeful life. Watch the speeches of people like Jim Kwik (memory coach who survived a traumatic brain injury in childhood and author of Limitless) and Simon Sinek (who popularized the concept of WHY).

Deng’s friend to whom she said this replied, “But then you’ll have achieved nothing in life. You’ll leave nothing behind as your legacy!” EXACTLY.

However, this conversation just shows how mental health issues (like other medical conditions) don’t choose whom to strike. They don’t discriminate against age, gender, sexual orientation, faith belief, educational background, or socioeconomic status. It’s easy for anyone to see the logic of a drug addict barely surviving on the streets wanting to kill himself. But you can also be a movie star with several doctorate degrees, living in a ginormous mansion in Beverly Hills, and still be one step away from drowning yourself in your pool if you have this condition.

To be fair, Deng, from her own confession, said she is a victim of child abuse and horrible life circumstances, including the death of her dad when she was young. That kind of background offers a more understandable and logical explanation of the roots of her suicidal ideation.

This book highlights important topics related to suicide:
* depression and anxiety
* parent-child abuse, including the horrendous effects of parents’/guardians’ seemingly well-meaning but destructive words in their kids’ development and impact on adulthood
* Chinese parenting methodologies
* grief and loss
* the link between faith belief and survival from suicidal ideation

Many gurus claim to be able to help multitudes due to their educational background and professional achievements, but they are infinitely more effective if they themselves have undergone the experiences of their patients (or people they intend to help). This is why a counselor or psychologist who specializes in addiction disorders and who is also a recovering addict is at a better position to help those similarly struggling. Such is the authenticity of this book’s author.

This is the review in capsule form. I’ll publish the longer version later.

Rating: four stars

Bombastic Summer Recs: Multiple Genres (Caution: includes mega-spicy novels!)

Discover your next obsession at this August virtual book fair: light.expatscribe.com! From spine-tingling thrillers to soul-soothing self-help to fun cookbooks to steamy romance novels, this multi-genre showcase is bursting with fresh voices and unforgettable reads. Whether you're craving:
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💥 Apocalyptic sci-fi & dystopian drama
🧘‍♀️ Meditation manuals, motivational guides & inspirational memoirs
👩‍🍳 Cookbooks for delectable creations
✈️ Travelogues, poetry collections, and more... there’s something here for every kind of reader—especially you.

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and
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Others are FREE for members of Kindle Unlimited (KU), like The Invisible Cyber Bully: What it's like to be watched 24/7 (synopsis: cyberbully.expatscribe.com).

Not a KU member? Grab a a FREE 30-day trial, so you can read KU books from this fair FREE + snag your own picks on Amazon!

📸 Pro tip: Screenshot your favorite covers or the full listing, so you don’t miss out when the fair wraps up.
🔥 Support emerging authors. Score epic reads. Dive in before August ends!

Dare to read in the dark?

From haunted houses and serial killers to cursed towns and paranormal nightmares — this virtual book fair is crawling with scary reads that’ll keep you up all night: tenterhooks.expatscribe.com. Bestselling authors. Free books, 99¢ steals, and limited-time sale. Only from August 1-31.

Horror. Thriller. Noir. Mystery. Forensic crime. Urban legends. Dystopian dread. Cozy chills to full-blown terror — pick your poison. Free books for Kindle Unlimited (KU) members or just 99¢ each. Example of a free KU book: The Invisible Cyber Bully: What it's like to be watched 24/7 (synopsis: cyberbully.expatscribe.com).

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Fantastic 9-day book deals that may lead to a galaxy far, far away

Love action-packed thrillers, twisty whodunits, gritty noir, or spine-tingling horror? Craving conspiracy theories, cozy mysteries, forensic science, steampunk, sci-fi, or urban fantasy? This virtual book fair has it all — and it’s exploding with deals: freeonku.expatscribe.com. Bestselling authors. Free books, 99¢ steals, and limited-time sales. Only from August 9–17. Some books are FREE on Kindle Unlimited (KU), like The Invisible Cyber Bully: What it's like to be watched 24/7 (synopsis: cyberbully.expatscribe.com). If you're not a KU member, grab a FREE 30-day KU trial to read books of your choice at no cost. Tap in. Load up. Read non-stop.

Where every turn of the page feels like the next scene in your favorite thriller

Step into a world of thrills, chills, and mind-bending tales! From hardboiled detective fiction and paranormal mysteries to spy thrillers, steampunk adventures, dystopian battles, and cozy whodunits — this virtual book fair has them all: thriller.expatscribe.com. Curated by bestselling authors, it’s your ticket to action, intrigue, and otherworldly escapes all month long. WHEN: All of August | PERKS: SMASHWORDS coupons, FREE reads for Kindle Unlimited (KU) members — or grab a FREE 30-day KU trial and devour them at no cost. Example of a free KU book: The Invisible Cyber Bully: What it's like to be watched 24/7 (synopsis: cyberbully.expatscribe.com).

Your next page‑turner is waiting. Jump in before the clock runs out!

Let the Pages Take You Places

Psst… book lovers! Your next obsession just dropped. Bestselling authors have cooked up this virtual book fair bursting with juicy reads: fiction.expatscribe.com. Choose from heart‑pounding thrillers to romantasy that’ll make you blush, creepy chills, edge‑of‑your‑seat adventures, and more. Sale on from July  30  to  August  31 only. Blink and it’s gone.

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Kids, Tweens & Middle-Grade Reads for August

Calling all young bookworms! Dive into our virtual book fair packed with thrilling reads that spark curiosity and boost brainpower. Whether you wanna laugh, learn, or both—there’s a story for you. Parents, teachers, and guardians: your next classroom hit or kids' bedtime favorite might be waiting here too!

BONUSES:
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Don’t miss it—this book bonanza runs all August long. Go explore, discover, and get hooked!

Back-to-School Listing for the Young & Young-at-Heart

Howdy, kids & tweens on Goodreads! Looking for new storybooks & tale collections? Then check out this virtual book fair dedicated to you: back2school.expatscribe.com. The selections are not just for entertainment but also for boosting brain power. Parents, guardians & teachers on Goodreads, if you're looking for new titles for your kids & students, check it out too. This collection, which runs from August 1 to 31, includes fiction & non-fiction books.

Some books at this virtual fair offer discount coupons, like My Mother, the Good Witch Doctor: How Mom helped princesses with dyslexia (synopsis & video trailer: witchdoctor.expatscribe.com).

Others are FREE for members of Kindle Unlimited (KU), like The Anti-Bully Manual: How to fight bullies the cyber way (synopsis & video trailer: antibully.expatscribe.com).

If you're not a KU member, sign up for a FREE 30-day trial, so you can read KU books from this fair FREE + snag your own picks on Amazon. Hope you find your next great read(s) at this fair.

A Tale of Two Fools: One in Love, the Other in Vocation

Beating other titles from my three-year-old TBR is Saving The Fool, a thriller/ mystery romance from Donna Del Oro. Her book presenting itself at this point in time was fortuitous because, a month back, I embarked on a quest to relearn Spanish in preparation for a future adventure.

While in university, I took four levels of Spanish. As they were part of the curriculum, I had no choice. This time, however, my zest for a skill rehash was from vested interest. Since I hadn’t been able to practice the language regularly, I lost whatever few phrases I had retained in my brain cells. The most I could recall was the quintessential phrase to know when traveling: “¿Dónde está el baño?” (Where is the bathroom?)

That’s why I had fun reading del Oro’s book. It was littered with Spanish words—a few of them derogatory terms and curses. Unlike the first book in the series (as I learned from a review), the author didn’t include English translations in this one. So I had to look them up. Even if I forget everything else, at the very least, not only can I find the washroom but also snipe at anyone who ticks me off... in Spanish!

What stood out among the Spanish phrases in the novel was “plata o plomo” (silver or lead). In the story, it meant—from a mafia chief’s viewpoint—“You either work for me and get paid, or don’t and you swallow a bullet.” In this case, plata meant money and plomo meant getting shot because bullets are made of lead. The phrase supposedly originated from Colombian drug kingpin Pablo Escobar, who allegedly made law enforcement and government officials choose between accepting a bribe (plata, aka slang for money in most Latin American countries), or being shot to death (plomo).

Incidentally, the phrase reminded me of "Oro, Plata, Mata" (gold, silver, death), one of the most significant contributions to Philippine cinema by the late director, Peque Gallaga. Jose Javier Reyes, from whose expertise I benefited, wrote the screenplay for this movie set in World War II.

The title was taken from the Spanish-Filipino traditional belief, which states that architectural design elements in buildings—especially staircases—must not end in a multiple of three. When reciting “oro, plata, mata” while counting the steps of a staircase from bottom to top, one should not end with “mata” (death) on the top step because this would mean the household might encounter bad luck. This practice is likened to Chinese feng shui, even if (the Spanish-Filipino equivalent) isn’t based on scientific evidence.

This background material led me to regard the author as “the golden madam,” as her name literally translates to “Lady of the Gold.” I initially thought her parents were being facetious when they named her (having fun at her expense), but I just found out when I looked up her profile here on Goodreads that her name is a pseudonym. :-))

Anyway... Del Oro’s book was sort of a mini guide to understanding the intricacies and machinations of the underworld, particularly Mexican drug cartels operating in California. It made me wonder how she knew so much about it. Sure, one can always research on it and so much information is available on the media/internet. However, she seemed to have insider knowledge.

Perhaps it helped that she’s Latinx American, whose mixed lineage included Spanish and Mexican ancestry. Not only did she use the crime syndicate environment as the backdrop to her story, she also drew upon her heritage in creating her protagonist, Dina. It didn’t surprise me that the author's first name and the main character’s sounded alike: Donna and Dina. They're also both school teachers (although the author is retired), and love to travel and play golf.

Some may dismiss this novel as just another mafia-based drama, but it poses other angles that may benefit a certain group of readers. I’m referring to the romantic aspect of the story, which would probably resonate with those whose partners (or would-be partners) have children from previous relationships. They can approve or reject the protagonist’s notion of what would make a relationship successful (or last) in the long run. Reading about Dina’s dilemma could provide some insight to someone considering marriage that would lead to a blended family situation.



The author discussed the scenarios above, which could spark the realizations below, through the protagonist’s relationship with her boyfriend:
#1: No matter how much love is present in a relationship, if one of the partners is a parent, the needs of the children will always come first. (Provided the parent is a typical responsible one who truly cares for his/her kids.) If you’re contemplating on starting, staying, or returning to a relationship like this, you have to be prepared to always come second. You will never be first priority. If you’re okay with this, then the decision would be easy for you.

#2: The author’s account of Dina’s romance also delves into forgiveness and understanding (or lack thereof) after a partner’s infidelity. How would you react if the love of your life had a child from a momentary lapse of judgment and returned to you with the progeny in both arms, expecting you to love it and raise it as your own?

Going back to the thriller/mystery aspect of the novel, I would say it was interesting enough for me to actively want to flip through the pages to find out what’s next, but not too nail-biting to forgo a visit to el baño. It’s an easy read with likable characters, especially the “tonto” of the family, the brother-in-law. Incidentally, “tonto” is also a Tagalog (Filipino) term with the same meaning as the Spanish equivalent: fool, idiot, numbskull, nincompoop, a stupid person.

The ending was abrupt, however. The tying up of loose ends wasn’t complete, signaling a third book in the making... although there was no indication of this in the back matter. If it indeed was a cliffhanger, I’ll bite. I’ll probably seek out the next installment if there will be one.

For now, the debate is in who’s the bigger fool: Dina and her love dilemma, or her brother-in-law with the too-good-to-be-true side hustle?

Rating: 4 stars

The Dream Write Mystery, Thriller & Suspense Collection

Ready to unravel secrets and dive deep into ominous settings? Step into the shadows of our virtual book fair 👉 suspense.expatscribe.com 👈 where heart-pounding mystery, thriller, and suspense titles await. From twisted psychological and techno-thrillers to edge-of-your-seat conspiracy plots, paranormal espionage, and 🕵️‍♀️ gritty police procedurals—every sub-genre is here to grip your imagination. Plus, score exclusive discounts and discover free reads on Kindle Unlimited. Whether you're a forensic fanatic 🔍 or a fan of mind games, there’s a story waiting to trap you… if you dare to look.

Some books at this virtual fair—which runs from July 20 to August 20—offer discount coupons, like: My Mother, the Good Witch Doctor: How Mom helped princesses with dyslexia (synopsis & video trailer: witchdoctor.expatscribe.com).

Others are FREE on Kindle Unlimited (KU), like The Invisible Cyber Bully: What it's like to be watched 24/7 (synopsis: cyberbully.expatscribe.com).

If you're not a KU member, sign up for a FREE 30-day trial, so you can read KU books from this fair FREE + snag your own picks on Amazon. Hope you find your next great read(s) at this fair.