Anna DeStefano's Blog, page 26

The Soul of the Matter: Change Me, Change You

Change is an exciting thing. Some days. When you're embracing the new. Other days, it can bite. BUT–change is always better, once you've found your place in it. I've found mine in publishing.After taking over a year off for personal reasons, I'm writing again. I'm submitting to excited publishers (none of whom who have said YES, yet, but the excitement is wonderful for me, as they welcome me back into the flow). And I'm making the freelance editing and teaching and travel to present workshops I've been doing for years official–I LOVE working with writers, I love exercising the more technical skills of editing that were once my whole job as a senior tech writer, and I love romantic suspense. Now I'm a romantic suspense editor.

What a way to spin into a new year!

It wasn't long ago that 2010 was, for me, about fear (health scares and such) and the publishing industry crumbling around all of us. 2011 was rebuilding and fulfilling the last of my '10 obligations and nervously promoting an exciting novel in a new digital media world I really didn't understand when I first started. And now, 2012. More change. For all of us.

For me, I'll be embracing it. I'm putting all I have into these new opportunities and finding my place in them.  New novels I will find publishers and an audience for, however that makes sense now, rather than how it worked a few years ago. Teaching six different groups (by today's count), after having to spend most of '11 off the road, and I can't wait to connect with other creatives who love to do what I do, and maybe help them on their own journeys just a little bit. And now I'm part of an exciting team of women, writers all of us, who are taking our passion for storytelling and working with authors and turning it into something really amazing at Dead Sexy Books.

How many writers will I get to help at Entangled? How many books will find excited readers, because of what we'll do in 2012.

It makes my soul smile, in all parts of my life, to be so optimistic about what's ahead. It's taken me a few years to get healthy and caught up and ready for this new plunge. But it's a very good day. No matter whatever stumbling blocks come my way, and there will be more than a few if I have my guess, it's going to be a VERY good year!

How will 2012 change your life? How will you partner with the stream of "new" flowing through your life, and make this year everything you've dreamed it could be?

Make this year your home. Find your place, your soul, in the decisions you make!

Things My Teenager Says: The Other Day…

"When my dad says 'The other day…' he could be talking about last night or when I was five," my son snickers to his friend, both of them riding like kings in the back seat while I chauffeur them home from school.

"I know," friend snides back, "adults have no sense of time. They can't let ANYTHING go."

"Mostly because their teens are so sarcastic," I toss into their parent shredding, "adults suffer brain bleeds that impede our memory."

I get away with talking to my son's friends, more than just him, these days. I've become part of the daily entertainment during their taxi rides. Whatever it takes to stay part of the dialogue, I always say.

"MOM, he was talking about cleaning my room, saying he'd told me to clean out my bookcase the other day. It was last year when he said that!"

"Did you do it?"

Pause for impact.

"No. But it's all he cares about one minute. Then he's forgotten it the next. Then he brings it up again, like a YEAR later."

I don't point out that a year to a teen is more like a month to the rest of us mortals. Actually, I think the books were a bone of contention only last week. Then again last night.

"My dad bought me a TV for my room because I made straight As last year," his friend chimes in. "Now he yells at me every time I turn it on."

"Parents are nuts," my teenager agrees, laughing in that best way he has of pulling your smile up from your tones and making you glad you're there to see him embrace life so completely.

"Multiple personalities are hereditary," I caution. "You should probably book a good therapist now."

Now his friend's laughing, and I'm wishing I had this moment forever, where my teen feels good enough about our relationship to rag on me in front of a buddy, and to have me sass back, and it's all good because we're that kind of comfortable.

Yes, the bookcase is a problem, and there are lots more times when there's nothing but tension between us. I say too much. He listens too little. We're both wondering where it's all going and what the next six years or so are going to look like.

But right now, I'm more than the mom in the front seat, a means to an end to get him and his friend home, where my teenager will proceed to ignore me until I ask about homework.

"Your mom and dad talk like one of us," his friend says. "They don't sound like parents half the time."

"You've never heard them when they're mad," my boy's still laughing.

"But she's funny. She's a smart ass."

HELLO. I'm still here. But I'm keeping my mouth shut at this point.

"Now you know where I get it from…" my teen says, and they're both laughing again while my eyes grow a familiar kind of misty.

The other day, I was listening to his first words and dreaming of the boy he'd soon be. Now, he's a young man, and there's a part of him he's gotten from me that he admires enough to claim it in front of one of his best buddies.

I'm nuts, but in a good way. In his way.

A very good mom day!

Things My Teenager Says: The Other Day

"When my dad says 'The other day…' he could be talking about last week or when I was five," my son snickers to his friend, both of them riding like kings in the back seat while I chauffeur them home from school.

"I know," friend snides back, "adults have no sense of time. They can't let ANYTHING go."

"Mostly because their teens are so sarcastic, adults suffer brain bleeds that impede our memory," I toss into their parent shredding.

I get away with talking to my son's friends, more than just him, these days. I've become part of the daily entertainment during their taxi rides. Whatever it takes to stay part of the dialogue, I always say.

"MOM, he was talking about cleaning my room last night, saying he'd told me to clean out my bookcase the other day. It was last year when he said that!"

"Did you do it?"

Pause for impact.

"No. But it's all he cares about one minute. Then he's forgotten it the next. Then he brings it up again, like a YEAR later."

I don't point out that a year to a teen is more like a month to the rest of us mere mortals. Actually, I think the books were a bone of contention only last week. Then again last night.

"My dad bought me a TV for my room because I made straight As last year," his friend chimes in. "Now he yells at me every time I turn it on."

"Parents are nuts," my teenager agrees, laughing in that best way he has of pulling your smile up from your tones and making you glad you're there to see him embrace life so completely.

"Multiple personalities are hereditary," I caution. "You should probably book a good therapist now."

Now his friend's laughing, and I'm wishing I had this moment forever, where my teen feels good enough about our relationship to rag on me in front of a buddy, and to have me sass back, and it's all good because we're that kind of comfortable.

Yes, the bookcase is a problem, and there are lots more times when there's nothing but tension between us. I say too much. He listens too little. We're both wondering where it's all going and what the next six years or so are going to look like.

But right now, I'm more than the mom in the front seat, a means to an end to get him and his friend home, where my teenager will proceed to ignore me until I ask about homework.

"Your mom and dad talk like one of us," his friend says. "They don't sound like parents half the time."

"You've never heard them when they're mad," my boy's still laughing.

"But she's funny. She's a smart ass."

HELLO. I'm still here. But I'm keep my mouth shut at this point.

"Now you know where I get it from…" my teen says, and they're both laughing again while my eyes grow a familiar kind of misty.

The other day, I was listening to his first words and dreaming of the boy he'd soon be. Now, he's a young man, and there's a part of him he's gotten from me that he admires enough to claim it in front of one of his best buddies.

I'm nuts, but in a good way. In his way.

A very good mom day!

Where Will 2012 Take Me in Publishing?

Yes, I have five different book proposals in the works (four of them with my agent or with publishers, waiting for acquisition, finger's crossed), but I'm also stretching my more technical/editorial muscles in new, exciting directions–I've been hired as an Acquiring Editor for at Entangled Publishing.

Officially, the new imprint is: 

Dead Sexy: The Nina Bruhns Collection.

And today's the launch/announcement of our new baby!

If you know Nina, as I do, you'll be as excited as I am by this announcement. She and I and our other newly hired editor Susan Meier are already working with authors and thrilling stories you're going to love, come the May launch of Dead Sexy. What a great team, including our managing editor, Vicki Wilkerson!

The Dead Sexy editors were successful, award-winning, best selling authors first. All of us. Now we're following our passion for teaching and nurturing and helping other writers fulfill their publishing dreams.

We at Dead Sexy strive to be the exciting home every successful romantic suspense author is dying to have. And Entangled is a digital-first publisher that puts authors first.   An amazing partnership from the get-go!

Check back often in 2012 for weekly Publishing Isn't for Sissies and How We Write posts that are taking on even greater meaning and purpose for me, as well as more updates from my popular Dream Theories and Psychic Realm and Soul of the Matter and Things my Teenager Says series.

Now that you know what's kept me away from regular blog posts these last few months, let me say it's great to be back. I couldn't be happier about the horizon before me ;o)

Join me.

It's going to be an exciting ride!

Publishing Isn't for Sissies–Conquer Your Fear!

What new facet of the publishing business will you conquer this year? With all the changes rushing at us, what's your greatest fear? How can you turn that perceived weakness into an asset? Small press or indie digital publishing has long been my wishy-washy place.

Yes, I can publishing solo, but do I want to? Yes, there are small indie digital presses out there, but do I trust their ever-evolving business models. In the end, I realized the real question was: Do I trust myself, without the umbrella of a large, established publisher propping up both me and my work?

I love my traditional publishers and hope to always have a home in print. I respect most of the inroads these huge corporations are making into digital media, too, though the changes they're enacting have been slow to come and even slower to implement. Which has left a huge opportunity open for me to make a digital impact with my writing without them… But until lately I've been too hesitant to investigate those options on my own.

Where will I be without a major press behind me?
Will anyone notice if I go out on my own?
Will my publisher/agent be less enthusiastic about my work, if I'm also self/indie publishing in the digital market?
Will I be wasting a lot of time I should be spending writing, by taking on even more "other" business beyond the hours I need to focus each day on my creative pursuits?

Hard questions, all of them. And each question sprung from a core fear of the change happening all around me. Because the reality is, the playing field of publshing that I thought I'd conquered when I signed my first traditional book contract is gone. A new world with exciting new opportunities and scary pitfalls has arrived. I can't fly beneath the radar and expect folks to find me, because I have THIS publisher or THAT one backing me.

In this publishing world, a writer is either a brand/entity unto herself, or she won't be found, period.

Traditional publishers expect us to do all the things we have to do to be successful as self/indie published authors.
Branding is essential to a book's success now, regardless of how it was published.

Marketing is a social media thing more than an in-store, co-op deal, the way traditional publishers used to be able to work for you. Only the big dogs get those opportunities now, in ever-dwindling physical stores and online through the mega digital outlets. The rest of us, however we're published, are pretty much on our own when it comes to building a buzz.
Advances are shrinking/disappearing for even multi-published authors, while traditional publishers lag way behind in offering competitive royalty rates (which SHOULD compensate the author for all that hard work they're doing solo to promote their brand and books).
Let me repeat, wherever we're published we have to look at this publishing world as an "I'm on my own to make this work," thing.

And that scared the poop out of me at first.

In 2012, I'm more excited by the day!

The freelance editing side of my work is picking up, because more and more authors are looking for good editing for projects that they aren't publishing traditionally.
My social media networks are firing on all cylinders, and I've never seen more clearly how that helps build/extend my author brand.
I'm working on FOUR different novels for four vastly different series that I'm pitching to traditional houses. BUT if they don't work at any of those publishers (because I'm an outside -the-box writer or I'm not a big enough presence in the market yet for them to take a risk on my work), I've never been more confident that my options are wide open to take these stories I love elsewhere and make them come to life for readers

My asset out of fear, my personal way of conquering publishing in 2012, will be to keep writing the best stories I can and to push to see them in print (paper and digitally), by pursing all those overwhelming new opportunities I wasn't ready to tackle last year.

What will your 2012 look like?

Publishing isn't for sissies, but it's a hell of an exciting place to be doing business this year!

The Soul of the Matter: Why do we?

Why do we work, love, write, care? Why don't we enjoy who and what we are more this year, than ever before? Inspiration is the soul of the matter, as is running with that mission, that message, that kernal of us we protect too carefully and too seldom follow with abandon.

Why don't we follow our inspiration more?

Are we afraid of all that we want? Nothing should be that simple.
Are we too tired to take our heart's desires into our own hands and fight for that promise? That's more likely.
Are we programmed to only see the work, never the gain? Why, I think we've arrived.

We are that quiet place inside that speaks when the rest falls away.

We are our dreams, and those inspirations are the hope that carries us through so much.This is the symbolism, the recurring metaphor that speaks to my work and my life. I think it speaks to all of us.

Whether you see yourself as creative or not, there's a voice inside you (your soul, if you will), promising that you're more than the sum of your parts.

This year, listen to that voice and celebrate the "why" of all that you are:

Each day, make a note in your journal, naming the part of you singing loudest that morning.
Jot down the tune that yearns to fill your day with magic.
Circle back before bed, and see what your voice has shown you, now that the rest is sleeping.

Be inspired in your writing and your family and your work and your dreams. That's my 2012 wish for you!

How We Write in 2012: The Soul of the Matter…

I wanted this Wednesdays writing blog is your one-stop INSPIRATION destination for your 2012 creativity and publishing dreams. How will you excel? How will you write every day, even amidst conflict, chaos and adversity? How will you create that which you alone were put on this earth to bring to life through story? After all, isn't 2012 supposed to be the end of the world… In that case, we better get a move on. We're running out of time ;o)

Despite 2011's challenges (on top of 2010's ;o), both with my personal health and the industry upheaval happening around all of us, I find myself giddy at the thought of what this newest year in our lives will bring. More ownership of our destinies and the fruits of our writing labors. More opportunity than ever before to reach readers clamoring for the escape that you bring them. More ways to engage your soul in your work, and take every chance that could lead you forward.

Move. That's my overall goal, my "How" for 2012.

I will move forward.
I will take initiative and take chances and take opportunity and run with them all.
I will ask the right questions and listen to those I trust to share their insight and choose, without fear, what my next course of action will be. Then the next.
I will role with the punches and move forward despite obstacles and setbacks.
I will believe that there is success awaiting me around every corner, and I will work my ass off to claim those victories.

What are yours?

2012 is shaping up as a year where we can very much shape our reality simply by the viewpoint and perspective in which we choose to see our world.

Do you see exciting opportunity or scary change?
Are you ready to dive in and work hard, or too tired to start over yet again?
Do you learn from past mistakes and roads not taken, or do you use failure as an excuse to stop trying?

Do you embrace the new, saying, "Yes, I will!", or does every bump in the road ring in your mind with a resounding, "I can't do this again!"?
Do you believe that the drastic changes in our publishing paradigms spells a new place for you in our business that, or are you allowing yourself to feel even more squeezed out?

My 2012 (and, I suspect, yours), will be about movement and doing. Digging deep for the soul of every matter that comes across my desk, I will be working harder, yes. But I'll be working smarter and with great enthusiasm and expectation.

And in each publishing and writing post (Wednesdays and Thursdays), I'll be sharing those soulful insights out here, looking for the same from you. We're all on the same journey, and we'll get where we're going so much faster if we share the ride!

Tell us what you will be doing to make your 2011 creative and professional dreams come true. What are your goals, and how will you reach and everyone one of the!

Surprise Digital Bonus!!!

I peaked online after the holiday to find that my publisher's made my ENTIRE award-winning, best selling Atlanta Heroes series available in digital format for $3.99 or less per title (through Amazon Kindle)!

Because Of A Boy : 

Nurse Kate Rhodes is duty bound to report the abusive father of one of her charges–despite the lawyer who proclaims the man's innocence.

 

Stephen Creighton isn't in the habit of getting involved in his cases. For him, it's get in, fight like hell, get out. But he has to invest more when he finds out Kate's actions have put his clients' lives in jeopardy. And now the father and son have gone into hiding.

With the father being sought by the authorities and the son in desperate need of medical treatment, it's a race against time. One Stephen and Kate can win only if they work together… Something that's even harder to do when the tension between them becomes white-hot passion.

To Protect The Child (RT Book Reviews Best Book Award):

FBI agent Alexa Vega wakes in an Atlanta hospital with no memory of how she got there. Except for brief flashes of a little girl's image, she can't remember anything, including the assignment that led to her brutal attack. The only person she feels she can trust is the man who saved her–Dr. Robert Livingston.

In his care she begins to recover…and to fall for him. Those feelings are returned, because Robert hasn't been able to stop thinking about Alexa. But as her memory returns, Alexa knows she has to finish what she started. She has to track down her attackers. It's the only way she can save a child she's sworn to protect.

She's determined to succeed, even if it means losing everything else–including Robert's love.

To Save A Family :

Atlanta public defender Emma Montgomery gives every client–innocent or not–her best effort. Even if it means sparring with the tempting Lieutenant Rick Downing. Each day, the two battle–all the while aware of the growing attraction between them. Until one day, everything changes.

Betrayed and seriously injured by a criminal, Emma loses faith in the system she once cherished. Worse still, she's lost faith in herself. But then Rick comes forward with a case Emma can't resist. A mother stands to lose her children and her freedom–unless Emma and Rick can call a cease-fire and save this one family.

The Firefighter's Secret Baby:

She's a captivating woman who catches his eye immediately. They spend one steamy night together. But in the morning, she's gone.
 

 
Nine months later, firefighter Randy Montgomery is the first emergency responder on the scene of an accident. And as he pulls a very pregnant woman from the wreck, he recognizes her–Sam Gianfranco. What a twisted sense of humor fate has. Because not only is Sam about to give birth, but she's also in a pile of trouble. Police protection and bad-guy chases kind of trouble. Another man would walk away. Not Randy. A single glance at Sam and his baby, and he's in this for the long haul. And he'll do whatever it takes to keep all of them safe.
 
 And guess what… Because of a Boy is a bridge novel between The Perfect Daughter and my stand alone The Prodigal's Return (Gayle Wilson Award of Excellence), family dramas from earlier series.
I'm psyched to have so many earlier works digital ready!!!

Dream Theories: The Famous Amongst Us

Long silence on blog = Anna's sick. You know that by now, right? I've crawled out of my cave. Let's talk about what the famous people in our dreams mean, before I collapse again. Flu SUCKS, btw. Whine. But I digress. What does it mean when we dream about famous people and fictional characters?

Yeah, I'm going to riff on animated and over-the-top, real-life characters throughout this post. And you're not going to see any of my recurring dream buddies. Not a chance. I believe too strongly in this topic to pull my cyber panties down and give you a microscope into my psyche!

Well, okay. I'll give you one real dream character of my very own. But I'm not gonna tell you which one. So, enjoy the side show and try to figure out which of these images really has come out to play, during my nocturnal wanderings ;o) All votes are welcome. You won't guess it. You're never gonna guess it… And I'm absolutely not including political or religious "greats" in this post. I may be a sick girl, but I'm not stupid.

Okay, back to business. First of all, we can invite anyone we want to our dreams. So you have to ask yourself who you've brought along for the party, and why. Do you feel negative or positive about these characters? 

Actually, is there just one famous person and you, or are you in a crowd of those you admire or publicly despise?Are you interacting with them, or standing back to watch. Are we talking  tv/movie/entertainment famous, or dead/living politicians, writers, great thinkers, etc? Oh, and where are you all getting together for this shindig?

As I've said, the emotions of your dreams are key. They'll point you to the better understanding you seek of why the people in your dreams do and say what they do, especially your famous guests. Dream analysis will first tell you that these characters may represent aspects of our own personalities that we either aspire to improve or long to negate.

That's where the emotions come in. Let them lead you to remembering and working on the characteristics you like most and least in your dream visitors.

Do you have a need for recognition for unrecognized abilities?

Does a core relationship need nurturing to grow stronger?

A yearning for stardom, but you've never developed your talents enough to get there?

Do you wish for glamor, but haven't stopped to truly understand the darker side that comes with the accolades?

Is it iconic greatness that fascinates and motivates you?

Some would suggest that these kind of "famous" dreams are about our inflated egos. I disagree. Dreams are where our minds process our world and our thoughts about the things and people that mean the most to us. They're where we should be looking most closely, without judgement.

Some of the characters we meet there could be reflections of us, but others could be our parents or friends. Our goals and disappointments. Our hurts and celebrations. Good or bad, they're us in the end. And nowhere else do we get to be more completely us, than in the stories we paint entirely on our own. Our dreams.

Stop judging and start paying attention. What is it about these characters that's drawing your sleeping mind's focus? What's happening in your life that's triggered their visit? Are they really you, in the dream, or have your visitors taken the role of friends or loved ones (living or passed) that you need to work something out with. Are they your very real dreams and aspirations (or regrets), that you've yet to fully face?

I'm a author. I can tell you with complete certainty that the characters that wander around in our minds are always reflections of us. They're to be treasured and nurtured, until we see them fully for who they are. They're pieces of our soul. Pieces I try to understand better every morning, as I wake and start my busy, creative day. I hope you do, too!

Now, who wants to guess which of the above famous characters has regularly visited my muddled sleep???

And, don't forget to come back to Dream Theories next Tuesday for more of Dr. C's sleep and dream wisdom. After all, she's the expert while I'm just a crafty artist who's mining for material to base her next psychic fantasy on ;o)

Dream Theories: Sleep Myths Debunked!

Welcome Guest blogger "Dr.  C" to Drem Theories. She has great sleep and dream facts and myths to share and bust for us! A PHD in clinical psychology with a specialization in sleep disorders, she's giving us awesome insight into what's happening to our minds and bodies as we dream. She's also a fantasy author and has been a great "real world" resource for me as I write about dreams and parapsychology and metaphysics and all the other "brain" stuff I use as I create my contemporary fantasy worlds.

Read on for some sleep basics (types and stages and helpful hits about sleeping better yourself). You're sure to learn something new. Ask questions, get her talking about all that she knows, heckle, or whatever else entertains you ;o) I know I'm going to!

Next week: more of my Dream Theory insights. Dr. C will be back in two weeks, with all her knowledge and confirmation that I'm a quack and that she's the sleep expert, and that you should all be listening to her instead of me ;o)

*********

Thanks, Anna, for inviting me to do this series of guest blog posts! 

People do weird things in their sleep.  It's one reason I love being a sleep psychologist – I rarely hear the same stories twice.  Also, I feel I can make a huge and almost immediate difference for my patients, and I get to be a "Myth-buster" of sorts.  Yes, there are lots of myths going around about sleep and dreaming, so for my first post, I wanted to take the opportunity to "bust" some common misconceptions. All of these have been said by several of my patients.

Myth #1:  If I don't remember my dreams, I must not be having any.

To address this one, we need to back up a bit and talk about some sleep basics. We have different stages of sleep from lighter to deeper, and when you go in for a sleep study, the doctors and techs can tell what stage you're in by the kind of squiggly lines your brain is putting out on the EEG channels.  There are two main types of sleep:  Rapid Eye Movement sleep and non-Rapid Eye Movement sleep.  We progress through non-REM to REM in cycles.  Here's a hypnogram to illustrate how we do it:

Here are the stages within types.

Non-REM sleep:

Stage One–Lighter sleep.  When you're falling asleep and you get that floaty feeling, this is the stage you're in. It's your doorway from wake to sleep. 
Stage Two–You can think about this one as "regular sleep."  It's where we spend most of our time during the night.  Sometimes if you're in Stage One or Two, you feel like you're awake because you may still be aware of things going on around you. 
Stage Three–This used to be stages three and four (as they are on the hypnogram above), but they've been combined.  This is your most restful sleep, and your brain puts out nice, happy slow waves.  A lot of times people miss this stage during sleep studies and if they have a sleep disorder that keeps them from being able to sleep long enough at a stretch to get there.

REM sleep:

There is only one REM sleep stage, and that's, well, REM.  As the name implies, your eyes move underneath your eyelids in horizontal movements that show up as up-and-down curves in a sleep study tracing, and your brainwaves almost look like you're awake:
This is the stage of sleep that your mind uses to figure things out and consolidate memories. Your brain also shuts your muscles off except the necessary ones (e.g., diaphragm for breathing, heart) so you won't act out your dreams.  This is the stage when you have your most vivid dreams, and it increases throughout the night.  That's why many people who remember their dreams report the most vivid ones as occurring early in the morning.

So let's get back to the myth.  If you're going to remember your dreams, you need to wake up during them.  Otherwise, your mind goes back to a non-dream stage and forgets it.  Note I didn't say it goes back to a non-REM stage.  We can actually dream in any stage of sleep, but our most vivid ones are in REM.

Myth #2:  My quality of sleep depends on if I've dreamed or not.  No dreams means I'm not getting REM sleep, so it must be bad.

This one is backwards if you think about it.  Considering that you have to wake up during your dreams to remember them, not remembering them implies that you didn't wake fully enough during them, so maybe you actually slept better. 

(Anna here: Dr. C sent a great picture of a REM EEG, or what REM sleep looks like on one of her super fancy techno gadgets…)

 Think about the last vivid dream you remember.  What woke you up?  Sometimes it's the dream content itself, but for many of us in the modern age, it's an alarm clock.  The bottom line is that this isn't a good indicator of sleep quality, and unless you go in for a sleep study, it's impossible to tell whether you're lacking REM sleep, which is really rare in people without a sleep disorder because our minds need it.

Myth #3:  It's not good to dream about _____________. For example, "If I die in my dreams, I'll die in real life."

I saw that Anna wrote about flying and falling last week.  Even if you have dreams with horrible, frightening imagery, it's very rarely literal.  I'll get more into how our brains pick out what to dream about in a later post.  I've actually died in my dreams but still woke up to go to work the next day, and my husband can assure you I'm not a zombie… after I've had a couple of cups of coffee in the morning.

Myth #4: We need less sleep as we get older.

We're all familiar with the stereotype of Grandma and Grandpa lining up to hit the Blue Light specials at the restaurant at 5:00 so they can be in bed by 8:00.  It's not that we need less sleep, it's that our sleep patterns change.  There are two reasons for this.

The first reason is the circadian rhythm, or internal clock.  No, this has nothing to do with the noisy bugs we hear during the summer – those are cicadas.  During adolescence, the circadian rhythm shifts and sets itself later, so it's actually natural for teenagers to want to go to bed in the wee hours and sleep until noon.  It gradually shifts earlier throughout our life span so that older people naturally have internal clocks set earlier.  If you think about it, when Grandma goes to bed at eight, she's waking between three and four because her body is done sleeping, but it appears as though she's sleeping less because by the time you're awake, she's been up for hours (and hopefully fixed you homemade biscuits for breakfast).

The second reason it seems that older people don't need as much sleep is that they tend to sleep less at night but more during the day.  I've seen a pattern that I call "retiree syndrome" in people who, for whatever reason, no longer have external time demands such as a job or school, and it doesn't necessarily have to be an older person.  Without these external demands or a routine and the discipline to carry it through (the hard part), people will sleep whenever they feel like it.  So while Grandpa is only sleeping four or five hours a night, he may be catching a nap or two or three during the day in the recliner.  If you add it all up, it's actually close to the seven to nine hours an adult needs.

Another significant change as our brain ages is that we lose slow-wave sleep.  The proportion of stage three gradually reduces, so sleep may feel less restorative.  This, like other parts of the aging process, is kind of a bummer, but it's still possible for people to wake feeling refreshed.

So there are your sleep basics and myths!  I'll be back in a couple of weeks to talk about parasomnias, or what happens when the shifting between stages goes awry. 

Please feel free to ask any questions.  My only limitation is that ethically I can't diagnose or make treatment recommendations in this medium.

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By day, "Doctor C." is a licensed clinical psychologist and behavioral sleep medicine specialist.  That's a long title, so she answers to any variations, including "Sleep Psychologist." 

By night, she writes fantasy and science fiction, blogsabout wine and life, and interacts with other wine lovers and writers on twitter as @RandomOenophile.  She's a featured first-place winner in this year's Mystery Times Ten, a Young Adult mystery anthology, for her fantasy story "The Coral Temple."