Bo Fowler's Blog, page 31
October 27, 2012
The Story
I've been living with this story. Night times are great but during the day it just sits around comparing itself to other stories I've had. It nags me to make it sing, to make it perfect.
Anyway I've decided to finish with it.
Anyway I've decided to finish with it.
October 20, 2012
The Appointment
I once phoned a psychic and invited her over to read my mind.
At the end of our slightly flirty conversation she asked for my address.
'But you're psychic' I reminded her and hung up.
At the end of our slightly flirty conversation she asked for my address.
'But you're psychic' I reminded her and hung up.
October 13, 2012
Rain
One day all the hinges in my house came to life and flew away.
The moment after they had gone all the doors in my house fell over one after the other like ponderous sentences.
I wanted to write about this but it was raining.
October 6, 2012
10% of GNP
This is the real story of the Tower of Babel.
The Government of Babel decided to build an enormous tower as a shameless PR stunt. Every year it reached further and further into the sky. They soon had to put lights on the tower so that planes didn't accidentally fly into it. They spent something like 10% of Babel's GNP on the project.
Local people sued the Government because the tower effected their TV reception. A judge ruled that good TV reception was a fundamental human right.
The Government gave all the local people lots of money and cable TVs and kept building the tower. On the advice of their generals they set up missile batteries around the tower to deter any terrorist attack.
Four years behind schedule they reached the heavens.
The people of Babel were not scattered across the face of the Earth nor was their language confounded. In fact there was no sign of God at all in upper stratosphere so the politicians, architects and workmen decided to just keep on building...
The Government of Babel decided to build an enormous tower as a shameless PR stunt. Every year it reached further and further into the sky. They soon had to put lights on the tower so that planes didn't accidentally fly into it. They spent something like 10% of Babel's GNP on the project.
Local people sued the Government because the tower effected their TV reception. A judge ruled that good TV reception was a fundamental human right.
The Government gave all the local people lots of money and cable TVs and kept building the tower. On the advice of their generals they set up missile batteries around the tower to deter any terrorist attack.
Four years behind schedule they reached the heavens.
The people of Babel were not scattered across the face of the Earth nor was their language confounded. In fact there was no sign of God at all in upper stratosphere so the politicians, architects and workmen decided to just keep on building...
September 29, 2012
The Dream
Last night asleep in bed I dreamt I was in bed asleep last night.
September 22, 2012
Happiness
Silent, environmentally frisky, multi-fandoogled new old ice cream vans move stilly on summer day-nights selling free bilingual coloured happiness: 'One scoop or two?'
But it never lasts.
Happiness melts.
But it never lasts.
Happiness melts.
September 15, 2012
The Fart
We were standing on the beach, a little drunk, our kisses careless.
I ran my hand down your back coming to rest on your buttocks.
We kissed again as the sun faded then you farted and the flowered fabric of your dress bellowed and I looked out to sea and glimpsed the tall ship of our love set sail on that fine wind for wondrous lands unknown.
I ran my hand down your back coming to rest on your buttocks.
We kissed again as the sun faded then you farted and the flowered fabric of your dress bellowed and I looked out to sea and glimpsed the tall ship of our love set sail on that fine wind for wondrous lands unknown.
September 8, 2012
Getting Lost
He told me religion for him was like an underground map; it didn't show everything just the important bits.
Then he told me how he and his wife had gone to the outskirts of Prague to visit a particular church and how they hadn't found the particular church they were looking for but had found another church instead.
That was what religion for him was like.
Then he told me how he and his wife had gone to the outskirts of Prague to visit a particular church and how they hadn't found the particular church they were looking for but had found another church instead.
That was what religion for him was like.
September 1, 2012
The Power of Positive Thinking
A very wise man sent everyone on Earth a copy of his book 'The Power of Positive Thinking'.
He thought it contained the answers to all the problems of life.
Like I said he sent a copy to everyone on Earth then he sent everyone on Earth a second copy in case they hadn't gotten around to reading the first copy. So many copies of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' were thrown out waste dumps began to fill up.
The very wise man sent extra copies of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' to couples in case they were planning on having children sometime soon who would need their own copy (when they grew up). Millions of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' cascaded into rivers and blocked them.
Governments organised special 'The Power of Positive Thinking' collection services. Following the passing of a special law the US Federal authorities filled up the Grand Canyon with unwanted copies of 'The Power of Positive Thinking'. In the slums of South America, Africa and India people made their houses out of stacks of 'The Power of Positive Thinking'. In Europe copies of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' were burnt in massive bonfires adding significantly to global warming.
Then the very wise man sent everyone on Earth a special signed copy of 'The Power of Positive Thinking' with a brand new introduction and impressive reviews on the back.
Astronauts in space could see mountains of The Power of Positive Thinking (the astronauts could also see coral reefs). Islands of The Power of Positive Thinking were formed off the cost of North America. Sea levels rose nearly half a meter causing massive destruction.
Whole towns were washed away by floods of 'The Power of Positive Thinking'.
When the paperback edition was sent to everyone on Earth cities were evacuated, martial law imposed and postmen were shot on sight.
August 25, 2012
The Truth
A Christian is asked which came first the chicken or the egg.
He says the chicken because God had made the chicken.
