Merry Shannon's Blog, page 10

Getting Away with Being Gay

Something that struck me as rather odd as I was working on the PotH manuscript this weekend: In Ithyria, which is a completely made-up fantasy world, being gay is nonetheless a sort of hush-hush thing. Being a fantasy world it would have been so easy to set the story in an open, welcoming society where same-sex relationships are treated as the norm. Yet this didn't happen in Ithyria; the culture is very similar in many ways to ours just a decade or three ago. There are reasons for that, and I'll go into some of them in a moment, but the thing that struck me as most odd is that in Branded Ann, which is set in our own world at a very conservative point in history, Ann's sexual preference is not only common knowledge, but is generally accepted by those around her without much question. The realistic truth, of course, is that an openly lesbian woman in that day and age would probably never have been tolerated among the criminals that were the pirates of the day. She most likely would have been murdered in her sleep (if not in some other horrific way), not made captain of their ship. And I ask my readers to suspend a pretty big chunk of disbelief in order to take Ann's journey with her.

So why, I asked myself, did the books turn out this way? I think I can explain what happened with SotG a little more easily. As the characters discover, gay and lesbian lifestyles do exist in Ithyria; at one point in SotG Talon reflects on the wealthy spinster heiresses who used to pay her showmaster for time with the performing girls, and she alludes a little to the stinky older men that have attempted to kiss her (believing that she's a young boy.) There's also a moment when Shasta explains to Talon that General Harneth, of the Verdred provincial guard, is gay. But for the most part, things like crossdressing and lesbian relationships are treated as taboo, and both Talon and Shasta have to come to terms with their attraction to one another from a worldview that is traditionally heterosexual.

When I was writing SotG, these tensions developed themselves as an organic part of the story, mostly because the book is very much a coming-of-age novel. I wanted to explore the unspoken fears and confusion often experienced by young gay and lesbian folks as they're figuring out who they are. It certainly was a reflection of a few of my own thought processes, coming from the ultra-conservative background of my own family, when I was finally coming to terms with the things that I felt and what they meant about who I was. As SotG progressed, I also needed an explanation as to why it was unusual that Talon should be dressed as a boy. The world needed clear, categorical characterization of masculine vs. feminine to fully illustrate Talon's courage, and the jeopardy her disguise placed her in even as it granted her certain freedoms.

As the series progresses, Ithyria, like any other character in the novels, will grow and develop and progress. I can pretty much say it's safe to assume the land won't magically transform from a conservative, traditional, heterosexist culture into an open and accepting one in the course of a few books – but I'm hoping to hint at such an eventual transformation, to give the sense that it might be a long time coming, but it's headed in the right direction. And I believe the characters who navigate this world will be all the more relatable to many readers because the struggles they face are a big part of our own history of society-imposed secrecy and fear, and the courage it takes to accept those risks for love.

Branded Ann, though… that one's more difficult to rationalize. The truth is, the book just sort of did what it wanted to as I wrote it. Ann, I think, would justify the other characters' acceptance of her sexuality by saying it boils down to her reputation. She's built herself this image that's larger than life. There are even rumors that perhaps she's not really human – perhaps she's the bride of the Devil, or a demon herself, and it's that reputation that makes it less necessary for her to prove herself all the time. Fear of the unknown is always more powerful than fear of what's right in front of your eyes, so Ann knows that if her rep is frightening enough, she can stride into a room and command every last person in it without having to so much as draw her sword.

Still, I will fully admit that the scenario's highly improbable (though, perhaps, no more improbable than the interwoven ghost story, no?) Which is why I didn't try to write the book as an accurate historical account of the times. I wanted it to be more of a fantasy adventure, perhaps a little less Disney-fied than Pirates of the Caribbean but fun, colorful and fantastical all the same – and in that sense, the characters can get away with a few improbabilities. (Provided, of course, that the reader's willing to allow them to.)

At some point in the future, I do think I'd really like to write something set in a world where all sexualities are simply accepted as normal. Sweep that whole chunk of tension off to the side so I can focus more on the story and characters. Not sure what such a story would look like yet, but it's something I'd like to explore further someday.

You know, when I finish writing all the other books on my plate at the moment. :P

PotH Playlist, Track Thirteen: Desire

And a sexy little song for the love scene(s). "Rapture," by Iio.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbaWdyDipcw

The night I laid my eyes on you,

Felt everything around me move

Got nervous when you looked my way

But you knew all the words to say.

Then your love slowly moved right in

All this time all my love where you been.

Mi amore don't you know

My love I want you so

Sugar you make my soul complete

Rapture tastes so sweet.

Mesmerised in every way

Keep me in a state of daze

Your kisses make my skin feel weak

Always melting in your heat.

Then I soar like a bird in the wind

Oh I glide as I'm flying through heaven.

Mi amore don't you know

My love I want you so

Sugar you make my soul complete

Rapture tastes so sweet.

Mi amore don't you know

My love I want you so

Sugar you make my soul complete

Rapture tastes so sweet

Mi amore don't you know

My love I want you so

Sugar you make my soul complete

Rapture tastes so sweet.

Mi amore don't you know

My love I want you so

Sugar you make my soul complete

Rapture tastes so sweet…

PotH Playlist, Track Twelve: Not Letting Go This Time

Beautiful song by Plumb -- "Hang On." One of the biggest climactic scenes in the book. ^~

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lgni8UeuqKU

i'm so stubborn, it's how i got here

so alone, feels like forever

wanna swim away

and breath the open air

I feel so afraid

then I hear you say

hang on when the water is rising

hang on when the waves are crashing

hang on just don't ever let go

I'm so hungry, how can I stay here

I'm starving for what I hold so dear

like a huricane

takes everything

from me, wake me from this dream

hang on when the water is rising

hang on when the waves are crashing

hang on just don't ever let go

hang on when you are barely breathing

hang on when your hearts still beating

hang on just don't ever let go

three days, thirty years

so hopeless doesn't matter

don't say it's too late

if you blink your eyes

the sun is rising

the sun is rising

hang on when the water is rising

hang on when the waves are crashing

hang on just don't ever let go

hang on when you are barely breathing

hang on when your hearts still beating

hang on just don't ever let go

Story Progress

Yesterday we spent most of the day tiling our bathroom shower floor. We've been working on this bathroom remodel since January and we're SO ready for it to be done. *sigh* Also, I felt really sick all day and we had to call it quits early. I showered, slept for a couple of hours, then lay on the couch the rest of the evening moaning about how icky I felt. My poor wife was so sweet and put up with all my whining and complaining.

However, I got a lot of rest last night thanks to a couple of sleeping pills and the grim determination to make my brain STOP chattering, at least for a few hours, about Ithyria. :P Today Shasta's off playing a football game (my wife Shasta, of course, not Princess Shasta… hehe) and so I have the whole day, and the whole house, all to myself for writing.

I just finished Chapter Eight. *does a happydance around her living room* One more and I'll be nearly halfway through the book. Very pleased with how the story's progressing so far — the action's been far less cumbersome and awkward to write than I'd anticpiated, and the dialogue-heavy scenes of Chapter Eight still flow smoothly enough that I don't think they'll need a lot of major surgery in edits…

Going to take a little break now for some lunch and maybe some coffee, then dive into Chapter Nine.

Hope everyone's having a great weekend!

PotH Playlist, Track Eleven: Surrender

I've posted this song once before, but we've finally reached it on my playlist: Evanescence's "Going Under." Again, I can't really write about which scene I associate this song with, since it would involve major spoilers… but it's a good one! ^~

www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYVm0qbWIZU

Now I will tell you what I've done for you

50 thousand tears I've cried.

Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you

And you still won't hear me.

Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself.

Maybe I'll wake up for once

Not tormented daily, defeated by you

Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I'm dying again

I'm going under

Drowning in you

I'm falling forever

I've got to break through

I'm going under

Blurring and stirring -- the truth and the lies.

So I don't know what's real and what's not

Always confusing the thoughts in my head

So I can't trust myself anymore

I'm dying again

I'm going under

Drowning in you

I'm falling forever

I've got to break through

So go on and scream

Scream at me I'm so far away

I won't be broken again

I've got to breathe -- I can't keep going under

I'm dying again

I'm going under

Drowning in you

I'm falling forever

I've got to break through

I'm going under

I'm going under

I'm going under

Raven Mask – Winter Pennington

[image error]Recently finished reading Raven Mask, by BSB Author Winter Pennington. It's the second book in her Kassandra Lyall series, and I've enjoyed them both very much!

BSB's book description:

"I stared down at the lifeless body of a boy whose face was all too familiar…"

Following the execution of Lukas Morris, Preternatural Private Investigator Kassandra Lyall told herself that she'd learn more about the local werewolf pack's Alpha female. Just as she begins her investigation, she's interrupted by a phone call from friend and ex-colleague, Detective Arthur Kingfisher. The body of a sixteen-year-old boy has been found. It's not just any sixteen-year-old boy, it's Timothy Nelson, a boy Kassandra knew was curious about the preternatural.

Kassandra soon realizes that Timothy's death serves as a challenge, but it's not a challenge directed at her. It's aimed at her lover, the Countess vampire of Oklahoma, Lenorre. While Kassandra tries to figure out if Timothy's curiosity was his undoing, the biggest question of all remains unanswered.

Is Timothy Nelson dead or undead?

The book's written in first person and reminds me a bit of the Sookie Stackhouse novels, being primarily a murder mystery/suspense story with a nice dose of romance — but exchange the Deep South for a more gothic/wiccan perspective, and the rather hapless lead character for a street-savvy Preternatural detective who doesn't wait for trouble to find her, but actually goes looking for it. I really like Kassandra, who's spunky, sarcastic, and sensitive (even though she usually pretends not to be much of the latter.) She makes for a great narrarator and her voice really propels the story along. Also, Lenorre is HOT. >D But I have to admit, the enigmatic Zaphara (a new character introduced in Raven Mask) is my favorite. Won't tell you why, since it would involve spoilers, but she's pretty darned awesome.

Winter's got a new vampire novel, Darkness Embraced, out next month, too — being a BSB author I've already recieved my e-book copy even though the release date isn't until May 16th. Lucky!! *.*

PotH Playlist, Track Ten: You're All That I Want

Another cover of a great song, by a female artist. Bryan Adams' "Heaven", sung by Do.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxINZK_MXE4

Oh thinking about our younger years

There was only you and me

We were young and wild and free

Now nothing can take you away from me

We been down that road before

But that's over now

You keep me coming back for more

Baby you're all that I want

When you're lying here in my arms

I'm finding it hard to believe

We're in heaven

And love is all that I need

And I found it there in your heart

It isn't too hard to see

We're in heaven

Oh -- once in your life you find someone

Who will turn your world around

Bring you up when you're feeling down

Yeah -- nothing could change what you mean to me

Oh there's lots that I could say

But just hold me now

Cause our love will light the way

And baby you're all that I want

When you're lying here in my arms

I'm finding it hard to believe

We're in heaven

And love is all that I need

And I found it there in your heart

It isn't too hard to see

We're in heaven

I've been waiting for so long

For something to arrive

For love to come along

Now our dreams are coming true

Through the good times and the bad

Ya -- I'll be standing there by you

In Defense of the Happy Ending

The other day I was looking through the blogs of a few of my favorite authors, and I came across a review of a newly released novel on a well-known fantasy publishing site. The reviewer was quite complimentary of the new book, but her review culminated with special praise of the fact that the protagonists (who are lesbian, by the way) go their separate ways at the end of the novel rather than choosing to stay together. She went on to say how much she dislikes books that try to claim that "love conquers all." Now, this may have been because of the particular age group this book was written for, and from that perspective I don't entirely disagree; but this got me thinking, a lot, last night.

I'm going to be perfectly frank here. I love, love, LOVE the theme of "love conquers all." I love it because I believe in it wholeheartedly. And I believe in it not because I have some naïve giddy romantic idea that true love, once discovered, will transform one's life into a fairytale forest of chirping birdies and squirrels that sit on your shoulder and unicorns that prance through the meadows and streaming rainbows and sunshine and sparkles everywhere… No, I believe in it because I believe that love is about 30% emotion, and 70% determination. I believe that love is a choice you make, consciously, to prioritize someone else in your heart through both the happy-fluffy-sparkly times and the dull-frustrating-angry-sad-painful times. You make that choice every day, sometimes even multiple times during the day, if needed. ^~ The tricky part is, it has to be chosen by both partners actively and daily in order for it to work. Either one gives up, moves on, decides they're bored or it's not worth it or their own interests are more important or there are greener pastures somewhere else – then nope, it's not going to conquer a darned thing.

And true love is rare, I'll give you that. It is not always easy to find someone who you fit with well enough that choosing them is a delight more often than it's a struggle. And even when you do find such a person, there's always the risk that they won't feel the same about you. Most human beings, I think, desire this connection on at least some level, and spend a good portion of their lives looking for it. A few are lucky enough to find it. You know the ones – the little old couple in their eighties who, after fifty years of marriage, still hold each other's hands as they rock back and forth on the porch of their nursing home. Does it happen for everyone? Sadly, no. But it's very much what I want for myself, in my own life. And I would venture to say, based on the popularity of romance novels and sappy-ending movies and prince-gets-the-girl fairy tales and pretty much every song written by Taylor Swift, that I'm not the only person who dreams of having a love like that in my life.

(Ask that little old couple about their relationship, though, and you're sure to get an earful of the trials and tribulations they had to navigate in order to be on that porch together fifty years later. True love is powerful and wonderful, but that doesn't mean it isn't a hell of a lot of hard work, even terribly painful sometimes.)

But that is why I like my happy endings, goshdarnit. I'm not into "realism;" I've got plenty of that to deal with in my daily life. I read romance and fantasy because I want an escape from realism. I read because I want to be reminded that love does exist, and it is possible to find it, that it's so worth fighting for, and that—if you make it important enough to you—it WILL conquer all. I read because it gives me hope and courage and faith, and I return to my own life and relationships with a refreshed determination to nurture the love I've been blessed with because it's worth the extra effort. And this is especially important to me when it comes to lesbian stories, because the popular trend in so many lesbian movies, etc. is to give the characters a "realistic" ending, wherein they realize their relationship won't work out and move on, forever trying to recapture what they had with that first love and looking back on it with a wistful c'est la vie smile. (Kissing Jessica Stein had me shucking objects around my living room in absolute fury.) Realistic? Maybe. But is that really the message we want to send—that lesbians don't believe in happily-ever-after? That we don't want it just as much as our straight friends? As far as I'm concerned, the last message we should be sending is that lesbian women should have no expectation that their relationships will last. It rather implies that their love isn't as "real" as heterosexual love, that it is perhaps just a phase or whim (and following that line of logic, may even imply that queer people really are just confused, maybe even a little mentally unstable…?)

Now, I'm not going to stand here and declare that every story I ever write will have a happy ending. I don't know what kind of a writer I'll be in ten years, or twenty. And I'm definitely not going to promise that, once I've given a particular couple a happy ending in one book, they're going to get to hang onto it with ease if I write sequels. I absolutely believe in realism when it comes to showing the complexity and difficulty that one faces when navigating life in partnership with someone else. I just – still – believe that ultimately, Love Conquers All… if you want it badly enough.

I'll still read, watch and enjoy the more "realistic" stories because I can appreciate good storytelling even when the endings leave me disgruntled and unsatisfied. I will grant the writers license to tell me the story they want to tell, with the themes and statements they want to make, because it's their story and far be it from me to dictate to them how to tell it. If I have to, I'll rewrite the ending in my own imagination so that it doesn't sour the beauty of the rest of the story for me. But I will write the stories that I want to read – and you can rest assured that in my books, no matter how tragic or angst-driven or dark, somehow and in some way love will conquer all, every single time.

'Fraid my readers will just have to deal with it. :P