Andre Xavier's Blog, page 5

Day 353 | AUGUST 29, 2022

Good evening, Friends. Today is day 353 of our new and fantastic life!

Today was London’s first full day of kindergarten, and he was very excited:)

School days start early, 6:30 am, to get the boys ready, have breakfast, make sure his lunch box is prepared, and by 8:15 am, we are out the door.

Today Charlie had an exciting day; she first went to the Podiatrist; sadly, due to her burns, the shape of her nail beds has changed, causing them to become ingrown and causing much pain; she is hoping that she will experience some relief soon.

After that, she went to PT, where she worked hard; she needed to maintain her range of motion to avoid further loss of use in her hands and legs.

Once she returned home, and after lunch, her new power chair was delivered. She has been using a loaner chair, and now she has a custom-made chair to accommodate her legs adequately; wow, what a difference, the loaner chair was so big compared to the new one. Now we can see Charlie before we notice the chair. She is pleased with her new chair, and we are very grateful that insurance has covered the cost of her power chair.

She also received the good news that her burn compression garments have arrived at UVA! She is excited to have them and hopes they will help improve her scars. I know it won’t be easy since compression garments must be used for 20 to 23 hours daily, squeezing the skin. I am praying that Charlie can tolerate the pressure.

Charlie decided to test her new chair speed, and she raced London, her chair can go up to 7.4 miles per hour, and Charlie registered 7.2 miles going up the hill. She loves elevating her adrenaline!

Tomorrow we are taking our cat Bluey to the vet. It is possible that he could be experiencing a UTI; poor kitty, we will have him checked up.

I also want to share that I continue to do better each day. The gratitude journal is a blessing and is helping me each day.

We had a blessed and happy day!

I appreciate your support, and please continue to pray for us.

Today was a good day!

André

Day 352 | AUGUST 28, 2022

Good evening, Friends. Today is day 352 of our new and fantastic life!

I was up extra early today, I had some work to do, so I was up an hour or so before the boys.

We had a very slow Sunday and stayed indoors again, avoiding the heat.

Charlie enjoyed some time with baby Julien when I took London to get a haircut with me, and he wanted our haircut tradition.

Once home, I got our lunch ready, and after lunch, we watched a movie as a family.

We had something funny happen today; last night, Charlie was working on putting together a puzzle, it is part of her OT, and she enjoys it, this morning she came for breakfast, and she was all excited to show me her progress when we looked at the table, the puzzle was a little different from the night before, and when we looked closely, the puzzle box was wet! Well, you may have guessed right, our cat Bluey decided to use the jigsaw box as his litter! Argh! I was distraught with him.

I was mad at the moment, but now I can laugh about it! Oh, Cats! So different from Dogs.

While Charlie did her wound care, I made us two delicious quiches with squash, onions, garlic, bacon, and cheese, and I am very proud of the result:)

Today we had a low-key but blessed family day.

I am beyond grateful for your generosity and support.

Have a good night, and May God bless You!

André

Day 351 | AUGUST 27, 2022

Good evening, Friends. Today is day 351 of our new and fantastic life.Today was a good day!The morning went by fast, nothing unusual; we had breakfast as a family and decided it would be fun to watch Top Gun, the original; Julien loves planes.Since today was on the warmer side, we decided that indoor activities would be best.Charlie suggested that we visit the aquarium in Lynchburg, so around Lunchtime, we made our way to Lynchburg.It was such a fun day! The boys loved the animals, and Charlie even had a little fun shopping. She even met some folks that have been following her story.We ate lunch at the mall, and once we got home, our neighbors were outside. We joined them for a while since the sun was down and the temperature was more tolerable.We had a video call with a couple that also burns survivors, and it was very inspiring to hear their story. It truly makes us even more grateful.We continue to ask for your prayers and support.I am happy to report that I had a good day with no symptoms.Have a good night, and May God Bless You!André

Day 350 | AUGUST 26, 2022

Good evening, Friends. Today is day 350 of our new and fantastic life!

This morning I woke up to a strange sound. It sounded like a motor that was stuck.

I looked at the clock, and it was 8 am, and I didn’t see London around. I was a little confused, and then I heard my name being called by one of Charlie’s nurses, so I went downstairs to find out that one of the automatic barn doors was stuck! Luckily it was an easy fix, but what a way to start the day.

Charlie had her wound care done early in the morning, so she would be ready to take London to school! Yes! Charlie rode her wheelchair down the street, and London walked to his school. We live close to the school, which is a 15 minutes walk. I can’t even explain how amazing it is for Charlie to be able to take London to school, and anyone who knows Charlie would ride 30 minutes round trip to his school.

After this exciting moment, Charlie went to her OT session, and her therapist told her that her upper body compression garments had been shipped, and very soon, she will start to wear them, which should help her scars to become flat.

I took some time to work on myself today, and here is what I learned.

I went deep on my gratitude journey, and I am telling you, it is starting to change how I feel. As I am writing my gratitude list, it hit me that when the accident happened, and Charlie was in the ICU fighting for her life, I begged God with all my heart and would, and I implored for her life, and I dreamed of the day Charlie would be back home with us.

Since I started my latest episode of symptoms from my PTSD, I was in such a dark place in my mind that I almost forgot that she was here; I have what I begged God for!

Instead, in my negative state of mind, I was angry, feeling disconnected, I was hurting, and in my pain, I was causing Charlie and the boys to suffer.

I am still struggling with some symptoms, but I can say that today was a much better day; as I continue reminding myself of what I have and I become grateful, there is less space in my mind for negativity; my goal is to fill my mind and heart of all the things I have and that I am grateful for.

Today I reminded myself that I have Charlie alive and by my side! What also do I need or want? This alone is enough to make me happy!

I invite anyone struggling with negative thoughts and feelings or feeling disconnected to start your gratitude Journal, but you must write it down, not just say, written words have power.

I have a long journey ahead of me, and I know I will have ups and downs; with God’s help and a mindset of gratitude, I can overcome the trauma and PTSD symptoms in my life.

Gratitude is the best gift you can give to yourself.

I continue to thank God for all his gifts, and I thank you for your support!

May God Bless You!

André

Day 348 | AUGUST 24, 2022

Good evening, Friends. Today is day 348 of our new and fantastic life!Today the morning went by; as usual, we had our breakfast as a family, and the boys had a fun day at the library with their Nanny.Charlie had a busy day with therapy, and I was also active at work.I asked Charlie how she felt today about the future, and she said she was hopeful. The possibility of having her right hand having some function is fascinating.Tomorrow is an exciting day for us, London's first day of kindergarten, and He is also excited to return to school. It is incredible how fast time goes go by.I had my therapy session this afternoon, yes I have been doing therapy for about 3 months or so, and has helped me a lot, I am not on any medication, personally I am not a massive fan of anti-depressants, so for now I will continue with just therapy, but if down the road I need medication I will take it, I want to use my own faith and brain power and see if I can overcome the negativity I am in right now, one of the things that my therapist and I are looking at is Adjustment Disorder, I am absolutely experiencing massive changes and it is very possible that I am dealing with the symptoms due to the significant changes we have experienced, that being said, I am going focus in getting better and I believe that gratitude is an excellent avenue to explore, today I started a gratitude list/ journal where I am going to write it down, the things I have to be grateful for, but not just the obvious things, I want to think deep and find the less obvious, small and hidden things that makes my life happy and so worth it.One of those things is that I am so grateful to have the gift and opportunity to be a father. It is incredible how easy it is for me to complain about having to take care of the boys, but what if I was not a father? How blessed am I to have not one but two healthy boys, and I can never forget that Charlie is the one that made me a father. I am also so grateful to have the ability to communicate and express my feelings; how many people worldwide can’t express their true feelings and emotions, and here I am sharing mine with several thousand people, including you.Our Cat, Bluey, is starting to get more comfortable. He only comes to the main floor late at night when the boys are not around. He is a sweet cat, just highly suspicious, but I guess all cats are.I am so thankful for the several messages I received last night and today, and it is nice to know that my words have a positive impact. Please know your words to me also have a positive impact on me.Please continue to pray for our family, and tonight say a special prayer of healing to two boys that I know; they are both in the ICU dealing with some serious issues, and they could use your prayers. Their names are Wes and Arie.Thank you for your continued support and prayers.May God Bless You!Below is a picture of the boys looking at Bluey.André

Day 349 | AUGUST 25, 2022

Good evening, Friends. Today is day 349 of our new and fantastic life!

Today was a good day.

The morning went by fast, and London was excited for his first day of kindergarten!

Charlie and I stayed up late last night to get his bag, the sign, and supplies. It was an extraordinary moment because I almost lost her, and I would be doing this very preparation on my own, and thank God Charlie is here with us to raise our boys with me.

Of course, we took our first day of school picture.

Charlie had a hectic and exciting day! She went to a Free Sale event from her group of friends at One Fit Mother, and this is the fantastic group of moms that have supported, prayed, and helped us from day one! It was a very anticipated day; they all dreamed of the day Charlie would be back with the group,

Charlie told me that she was so happy to be back with her friends, and she said she felt so beautiful, and I told her, you are beautiful:)

After her event with her friends, she went to Lunch with other friends at Brazos Tacos. She enjoyed her kid's free lunch.

I took London to school, and in the late afternoon, I took baby Julien to his 18-month medical appointment. Our Julien is growing and developing very well, he is super healthy, and I am grateful! He only had one shoot today.

We ended our afternoon outside with our neighbors, just like we used to do.

Today I am starting to feel better. I worked on my gratitude list, and it is incredible how many things I have to be grateful for. I think I am on item 75 so far. I will continue on that list until I return to a grateful state. It is helping, I can feel.

I have also prayed intensely, asking God for his mercy and strength.

I want to thank you for purchasing your book today! We are on track to publish the book as planned, and now is the perfect time to secure your copy!

Thank you for your prayers and support!

May God Bless You!

André

Day 347 | AUGUST 23, 2022

Good Evening Friends. Today is day 347 of our new and fantastic life!

Today the boys were up a little later again, and I welcomed the extra few minutes of sleep.

When we came downstairs, Charlie was already in the kitchen with her coffee in hand we had our breakfast as a family.

Charlie had PT around midday, and she did great today; they timed her walk, and she walked 534 feet in 6 minutes, yes it is at a slow pace, but for Charlie, this is part of a miracle, the fact that she is standing and walking with the support of a walker it is incredible! Remember, she can’t bend her knees!

After her PT session, it was time for the doctor appointment we had been waiting for, the Hand Surgeon Dr. Chabbra!

I met with Charlie at his clinic, and we made our way up to the second floor, where we checked in; after a brief wait, we were taken into an exam room.

The interaction was very courteous and professional, a nurse checked Charlie in, and a Resident Dr. Did the initial evalu. Dr. And I could see how amazed he was by Charlie’s hands and how shocked he was with Charlie’s hands. Of course, he knew of Charlie’s story over the news, but he was intrigued by her skin grafts and hand deformities.

After a few minutes, Dr. Chabbra came in to see Charlie, and he was followed by five other people, nurses, Dr, and medical students.

He was very calm and genuine and asked several questions, and the consultation became emotional when he asked Charlie, “I know you have small kids, but how old are they? “ Charlie replied, we have 20 months and a five-year-old; the entire room had tears in their eyes, including myself; it is not easy to look at a young mother in a wheelchair, and without the use of her dominant hand, it did hit home to everyone in the room.

He said that her case is very complex; the main issue is the skin grafts contraption and scared, and the addition of the RA inflammation involves her tendons and nerves.

But here is the positive news, he can help Charlie, but not now. He needs that her skin grafts are fully maturated and healed.

That is also the disturbing news; it will take up to 18 months to fully maturate her skin grafts, so we still have another seven or so months to go, and even after surgery, her right hand won’t be anything like it was before, she will have minimal mobility. Still, at least she will have some function in that hand.

Yes, we did find the surgeon that can help Charlie, and for that, I so grate. We were told that nothing could be done to her right hand, and now we do have a second opinion, and, yes, something can be done to help her hands.

I am so grateful that God has guided us to Dr. Chab. We felt that he genuinely cares and is willing to perform very complex surgery, and I am so appreciative!

Now the work will be to keep the damage to her hands stable and not allow it to continue further damaging her hands.

Charlie is very hopeful and grateful for the future of her hands

Please continue to pray for us; It is not an easy journey.

I continue to struggle with my PTSD symptoms; I thought I would be feeling better by now. However, I am not; it is tough to feel numb; I wouldn’t say I like how I think. I know how much I have to be grateful for, and yet, I can’t shake off the unfavorable state I am in; I will continue to push and try to get better, but it has been very hard; I don’t recall feeling like this for this long in the past.

Please pray for me.

Thank you for your kindness and generosity.

May God Bless You.

André

Day 346 | AUGUST 22, 2022

Good evening, Friends. Today is day 346 of our new and fantastic life!Today I woke up determined to return to a grateful mindset, the early part of the day, I did struggle a little, but towards the end of the day, I am starting to feel better.Breakfast was east, I had frozen some of the pancakes I made on Saturday, and the boys loved it!Charlie and I had a morning appointment with her Rheumatologist, and we were very much looking forward to it.Right on time, we arrived at his clinic, not far from our house, and within minutes we got to see the Dr. He was Charlie’s Doctor for a few months before the accident; he is a very detailed, compassionate, and intelligent doctor, he asked for us to tell him the whole story from the moment of the accident to what types of CEA was used in Charlie, he asked a lot of questions, he asked for a little bit of time, to come up with a good plan of action, specific to her knees, at first he is not very convinced that a knee replacement is the best way to go, he said I have few patients that have no cartilage in their knees. They can walk just fine. Of course, there is pain, but their knees can bend.He wants to find out what also is going on that is causing her legs to be locked in the straight position. Is that a tendon issue, skin, or muscle? We don’t know yet, so we don’t have a definite answer, but we are confident in his approach. Charlie will start a new RA medication that does not entirely suppress her immune response to bacterial infection, which is very exciting! It will take 3 to 4 weeks before she can feel the benefits of the new medication, but if it works, she will feel much less pain and hopefully gain some range of motion in her joints. We can hope, but there is no way to know for sure; we must wait and see. Many questions and high hopes; please continue prayingAfter the appointment was lunchtime, we met with him for 2.5 hours, which was so informative; I am so grateful for being allowed to be there with Charlie; Dr. Katzenstein is an excellent Rheumatologist; we are so blessed to have him taking care of Charlie.Dinner was delicious, made by me cheese ravioli with a pesto sauce, we ate as a family, we played a little game with London than bath time and bedtime.Tomorrow is another big day! Our appointment with Dr. Chhabra, the hand specialist! We have so many questions and high hopes; please continue to pray for Charlie; she needs her right hand back.Thank you for your love and support!May God Bless You!AndréToday I woke up determined to return to a grateful mindset, the early part of the day, I did struggle a little, but towards the end of the day, I am starting to feel better.Breakfast was east, I had frozen some of the pancakes I made on Saturday, and the boys loved it!Charlie and I had a morning appointment with her Rheumatologist, and we were very much looking forward to it.Right on time, we arrived at his clinic, not far from our house, and within minutes we got to see the Dr. He was Charlie’s Doctor for a few months before the accident; he is a very detailed, compassionate, and intelligent doctor, he asked for us to tell him the whole story from the moment of the accident to what types of CEA was used in Charlie, he asked a lot of questions, he asked for a little bit of time, to come up with a good plan of action, specific to her knees, at first he is not very convinced that a knee replacement is the best way to go, he said I have few patients that have no cartilage in their knees. They can walk just fine. Of course, there is pain, but their knees can bend.He wants to find out what also is going on that is causing her legs to be locked in the straight position. Is that a tendon issue, skin, or muscle? We don’t know yet, so we don’t have a definite answer, but we are confident in his approach. Charlie will start a new RA medication that does not entirely suppress her immune response to bacterial infection, which is very exciting! It will take 3 to 4 weeks before she can feel the benefits of the new medication, but if it works, she will feel much less pain and hopefully gain some range of motion in her joints. We can hope, but there is no way to know for sure; we must wait and see. many questions and high hopes; please continue prayingAfter the appointment was lunchtime, we met with him for 2.5 hours, which was so informative; I am so grateful for being allowed to be there with Charlie; Dr. Katzenstein is an excellent Rheumatologist; we are so blessed to have him taking care of Charlie.Dinner was delicious, made by me cheese ravioli with a pesto sauce, we ate as a family, we played a little game with London than bath time and bedtime.Tomorrow is another big day! Our appointment with Dr. Chhabra, the hand specialist! We have so many questions and high hopes; please continue to pray for Charlie; she needs her right hand back.Thank you for your love and support!May God Bless You!André

Day 345 | AUGUST 21, 2022

Good evening, Friends. Today is day 345 of our new and fantastic life.

I woke up around 2 am and could fall asleep again at 4:30 am. Around 7:30 am, London woke me up, and I decided to get in the shower and start our day. I came downstairs with the boys around 8:15 am, and to my surprise, Charlie was still asleep, so as her aunt, they stayed up late last night catching up.

I decided to treat us to breakfast, and I grabbed the boys and went to Cou Cou Rachou, a local French bakery, and they didn’t disappoint; London was so excited about their pastries I let him choose one, and I ordered a few plain croissants, and a baguette to take home.

We had a very European breakfast today, and shortly after Aunt Laurie left, we are so thankful for her help and visit.

The rain kept us mostly inside today; of course, it didn’t help me much; I am still dealing with my numbness.

Charlie had a good day, we watched a couple of Disney movies with the boys, and in the afternoon, Charlie met with some of her mom’s friends at a local winery for their book club meeting. It is just amazing to see Charlie starting to socialize. I know how much joy this brings to her!

Tomorrow, we have a momentous day; Charlie has her appointment with her rheumatologist, and we have so many questions and expectations; it could be a massive improvement to Charlie’s mobility, but it also could not; we will only know after this appointment, please pray for good news tomorrow!

I have decided that tomorrow, I will do my best to return to a place of gratitude; I have dealt with incredible negative feelings this weekend, and the guilt took the best of me, but tomorrow I will reclaim my mind, and I will find my way back to be grateful! Charlie is grateful, and she inspires me!

Thank you for your encouraging words; it means a lot to me to see how many of you are still here supporting us.

Below is the boy’s routine of giving mommy a good night kiss after book time.

Thank you for your prayers, and May God Bless You!

André

Day 344 | AUGUST 20, 2022

Good evening, Friends. Today is day 344 of our new and fantastic life!

It is a long post; please read until the end.

Today I woke up knowing we would have a big day ahead of ourselves; I made the boy’s favorite breakfast, pancakes.

Charlie had decided that today she would visit Patch, the brewery where the accident happened, for the first time since the accident.

I am beyond proud of Charlie for having the courage to visit and face the place where her and our lives changed forever.

Here is Charlie’s experience in her own words:

Today I did something pretty big, incredibly hard, and brave.

Today, with uncertain expectations but a no turning back attitude, I visited Patch for the first time since the accident happened almost a year ago.

This accident altered my life forever (actually, our lives forever). Yes, it left me fighting for my life in the ICU for months. Yes, my boys had their mother ripped away from them, and I had no way of communicating with them to tell them how much I loved them. This accident left my husband crippled in despair, and my friends and family worried sick. Yes, this is THE ACCIDENT that left me unable to bend my knees needing a power chair. And yes, I have lost the function of my dominant right hand.

BUT GUESS WHAT???

I was okay because I AM okay!

Against all odds, I am here. I was left with 3rd and 4th-degree burns on 85 percent of my body, but I SURVIVED.

My body and mind fought hard to be here because my mission here on Earth isn’t done. God answered my prayers that day, and He gave me the strength to keep fighting so I could be a mom to my boys and see them grow up! I remained positive and hopeful I would grow old with my husband just as we always planned. Your prayers and support gave me courage and confidence to face my new world and see myself how others do, a miracle and inspiration. Yes, I have more work to do, but I will be okay. I AM OKAY.

I’m here to see my firstborn off to kindergarten next week. I’ll still get to plan their birthday celebrations and makeshift Halloween costumes. Yes, I still use my left hand to flip pages of the storybook. I still love going on play dates and socializing with my girlfriends. I love food and shopping almost equally and am enjoying them both. I still laugh so hard I cry, and with the same can-do attitude, I will find a way to be outdoors as humanly possible because that’s who I am. I’m still me and MORE! I’m blessed beyond belief and plan to live life to the fullest.

PHOTO CREDIT: @andrecville

Here I’m looking at the spot I stood up from after rolling around to put out the fire that forever altered my life.

#burnsurvivor

After this unexpected visit to Patch, we had lunch at one of our favorite places, the BBQ Exchange. The food was just excellent, and we enjoyed it so much. My friend and co-owner of Patch, Jon came to see Charlie; it was the first time they had seen each other; Jon witnessed the accident and helped to save Charlie’s life.

After we made our way to our last stop of this particular day, the Market at Grelen, an exceptional nursery, and venue where Charlie and I used to come often before the accident, it is an excellent place for families and also accessible; we had delicious homemade ice cream, the boys spend hours at the sandbox, and Charlie enjoyed a little shopping, the end of a big day!

Today was a great day, I was not sure how Charlie would feel when she got to Patch, but to my pleasant surprise, she did well; she took a moment to look over the exact spot where the explosion happened; she is much stronger than I am.

As much as I want to say that I am also ok going to Patch, I am not today. I dealt with challenging PTSD symptoms; I; started right when we arrived there; it is so hard to write about this, mainly because I don’t want to steal from Charlie’s courageous feat today.

Yes, I do feel weak, I don’t like to be so irritable that my own son’s laugh pisses me off, I don’t want to be unable to relax with my family, I hate the guilt that I feel and the horrible thoughts that kept constant in my mind, I hate the feeling of numbness, I hate my inability to feel Joy, yes today was a tough day for me. I don’t want to feel this way.

Tonight, I will go to bed asking God for strength; I need to be able to overcome my PTSD; I must follow Charlie’s example.

How can I start to give back or help anyone if I am still actively dealing with my demons? I need to feel better to help.

I don’t want you to worry about me; I will be ok, but I do want you to pray for me, and anyone out here struggling, I will pray for you; I am blessed to have Charlie by my side.

Yes, today was a beautiful day, yet I fought the darkness inside my head.

Thank you for your prayers and support.

André