Andre Xavier's Blog, page 11

Day 293 | JUNE 30, 2022

Good evening, Friends, today is day 293 of our new and amazing life!

My day started at 4 am with baby Julien, he has a molar coming in and the poor baby is not very happy.

I was able to get him back to bed by 5:20am, and I was up for good right at 7am.

London was slow to wake up, and because of that, he had to eat his breakfast in the car in order to avoid been late for his summer camp

I had a busy morning, work, eye doctor, and meetings.

Charlie called around lunch time. She looked so good. She also had a meeting in the morning, on Saturday Charlie will undergo a procedure where they will evaluate the wound bed, replace the allografts, and at that time determine when the next surgery will happen.

I made my way to see Charlie around 4pm and I got there by 5:30p, today I took her mini fridge, and some clothes.

Charlie and I had a very pleasant visit, we spend a good amount of time discussing our way to give it back, we have said that when the time is right, we would be creating a non-profit, but as we learn more about that world, we are also exploring the idea of partnering up with an existing and respect non profit, so we are exploring our options, and Charlie is very excited for that part of her journey, we have few months ahead of us before we can start the next chapter, but is very important that we understand our goals and create our intent in order to maximize our efforts and generate the largest positive impact.

Charlie is starting to receive your cards, she is so excited, I didn’t tell her that I asked you guys here to send cards, so she was very surprised when she had 3 cards delivered to her room She really appreciates them.

We also talked about the boys as usual, we had few visitors from the staff, nurses that took care of Charlie, everyone was genuinely happy to see her, and so was she.

Charlie is in a very good headspace and I am so proud of her! She continues to inspire me on a daily basis, her positivity is contagious!

Thank you for your prayers and support!

May God Bless You!

André

Day 292 | JUNE 29, 2022

Good evening, Friends, today is day 292 of our new and amazing life!

Today I was up early, our amazing contractors are back to finalize the final touches in Charlie’s room and bathroom and they start working at 7am.

Today I stayed back and helped my mom with the boys. Charlie insisted that I split my time between visiting her and staying with the boys.

In the morning I did work for few hours, I had a very important meeting with a very special non-profit, we may be collaborating in the near future, Charlie is very excited about

Lunch with the boys was fun, we had cheese pizza , that is what happens when dad is left with the kids.

Charlie called around lunch time, we talked and she was in a very good mood, just radiant!

I had to ask Charlie if I may, why are you so happy the last couple days?

She gave me a huge smile and said, well let me tell you a story, well this paragraph was actually written by Charlie

“I was then taken to a pre-procedure room where I waited to be taken for surgery. I decided to take the wait time and pray and it was such an amazing and emotional experience! I was awakened in a sense because it was the first time in a very long time that I’ve had an in-depth conversation with God. I spoke to Him about how grateful I was for all that he has done for me and my family. I asked that he give me strength to overcome the anxiety and pain, to help me to remain calm, and protect me from any complications. I also spoke about my love for Andre and my worry for his mental and physical health. (The night prior, he experienced an episode as a symptom of extreme stress and anxiety).

At that moment, I felt so much better and found myself smiling even before being taken back for surgery. I was so pleased with feeling closer to God. I knew He would protect me.

When I woke from surgery, yes, I was in excruciating pain but somehow, I could breathe better because I knew the extreme pain was only temporary. I looked at the time and was relieved to see that the surgery was quick. I felt lighter, I was at ease and excited to see Andre.”

I will be honest, I was caught by surprise, especially when I remembered that just days ago, we had a talk about, how much she wished the accident didn’t happen!

We are both very grateful for God’s grace, Charlie has always prayed and talked with God, but now her devotion has increased by a lot and for that we are grateful!

In the afternoon, I took the boys to the pool and London had a blast, Julien not so much, he really didn’t want to get in the water today! So, I couldn’t cool off either.

We had such a fun time at the pool, I just feel so blessed to have the time to take our boys to the pool on a Tuesday afternoon, the little moments are the most special ones.

Today at my non-profit meeting , I was praised as a Caregiver, and I asked to clarify something, I am beyond humbled to be called a caregiver, but I do not deserve the title, I am an Advocate, Charlie has a great team of RNs, aid’s , they are the ones providing her care, I just advocate in her behalf when she couldn’t, I just want to be fair to the real caregivers that have the very difficult job to care for the base necessities of their loved ones, it is not an easy job and it requires incredible strength and generosity.

I am just an Advocate.

Today I had a 2 hour therapy session and I do feel better after it, I am starting to make sense to what May have caused my episode, but we still have a lot of work to do to fully understand, and avoid this from happening again, sadly my “spell” de realization lasted almost 48h, not continues but on and off, I am ok, but I am. Being cautious about my feelings.

I am so grateful for God’s grace touching Charlie in a very special way, I am also thankful to you!

And I also want to say Thank you! For keeping I almost Lost Her Book'' consistently on the top 40 news release books on Amazon, on the personal growth Category and Memoir Category, we are so grateful for your support!

Have a good night, and May God bless You!

André

Day 291 | JUNE 28, 2022

Good evening, Friends, today is day 291 of our new and amazing life!

Wow, the last 24H have been absolutely insane, literally for me.

As you read this morning, I barely slept, and thanks to you, I now officially know what happened to me last night! For a moment I really thought that I was losing my mind, I won’t bore you with all the details, but just imagine, being in a trance and feel like you are dreaming, and you can’t wake up, you don’t feel your body, and you are driving at 70 miles per hour, and yet, everything around you is in slow motion, sound is muffled, that is what I experienced and it was very scary! I had an emergency consultation with my therapist and she confirmed, I had an episode of Derealization. I have never had or heard of that before, but I can tell you that it is very real and very scary.

Needless to say, that my day was not very productive in terms of work, I truly feel like I am losing my mind, but I also know that I am not, it is just amazing what kind of tricks your mind can play on us, I believe anxiety / stress were the culprits of my episode, I have prayed and I have a 2-hour therapy session tomorrow, hopefully I will know more.

As I write my journal, I can feel my mind trying to sleep into the trance, several times today, I have been able to feel my body starting to feel tingling, and that is when the trance starts, so I do few techniques to distract my mind, and so far, it has worked.

Now to what is really important, Charlie!

Charlie didn’t sleep too well either, she was also very anxious, around 7am they started to prepare her for surgery, she was the 3rd case on the OR today.

Her surgeon worked on preparing the open wound spots on Charlie’s buttocks, knees, elbows and ankles, those were all the spots that would not heal by themselves.

The surgery was successful and it lasted around 2 hours, I arrived at the Burn unit before Charlie was in her room, and when she arrived, she was awake and in very good spirits, she was very happy to see me, and I was happier to see her

Charlie was in pain, but comfortable.

We had dinner together from Panera Bread and we had an amazing conversation, very in depth about my mental health, and how last night's episode needs to be taken as a warning, I need to pay attention to what my mind is telling me.

This morning when I came downstairs, it was a little sad to not hear Charlie in the morning, her room was empty…

Thank you for your continued support and prayers!

May God Bless You!

André

Hear from Charlie Anne Xavier on NBC29 at 5pm and 6pm today.

You will want to watch Charlie’s first TV interview, she talked with Rachel Hirschheimer Multimedia Journalist , that has covered Charlie’s remarkable survival story since day 1.

We are so grateful to WVIR NBC29 for giving Charlie the opportunity to share her story.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/94cd1a_3a904dee2ef443a89bbe437558814de9/720p/mp4/file.mp4

Day 290 | JUNE 27, 2022 (Continuation)

Good morning, Friends, today is day 290 of our new and amazing life.

Continuation…

As we learned that Charlie would now be going to the hospital in the evening instead of the next morning, our entire mood changed, talk about anxiety!

Charlie was very anxious, and one of the ways she deals with her anxiety is to organize!

With the help of her aid and my mom, Charlie organized Julien’s clothes, all of his drawers. She also re-organized the pantry.

All this was happening mid-morning, London was at summer camp, I had dropped him off at 8:30a and Julien was a handful (we call it being in rare form) at our house.

He was running around screaming and pulling his folded clothes out of the drawers, my mom was trying to control him, and I could hear the commotion from my office downstairs.

I knew that if I didn’t step in and helped my family, they all would become even more stressed.

For the first time in a while, I stopped working at 11am, (on a Monday) and focused on Julien. I fed him an early lunch, rocked him to sleep, and told VoVo to also go upstairs and take a nap at the same time as Julien.

For a brief moment it was Just me and Charlie and her aid.

Charlie did express her frustration with the change of plans when she was supposed to check in at the hospital, and that was a very valid feeling.

After I picked up London from Camp and got home, Julien was awake, Charlie had started her wound care, so I played with the boys indoors.

Once Charlie was done with her painful wound care, she wanted to be outside with the boys, so we spent the last few hours outside, London and Julien had so much fun! And Charlie was really taking it all in, she was very aware that for the next 4weeks, she would not be outside, and that was not a very exciting thought to have.

As the hours went by, Charlie and I knew that the time to get on the road to Richmond was fast approaching.

We ordered dinner, Charlie chose Turkish Food from our friends at Sultan Kebab, and we had a very delicious dinner!

I gave London a Shower as my mom gave Julien a bath, both boys came downstairs and spent a little time with mommy.

After the last kisses and goodbyes, it was time for us to leave for VCU.

As we got in 64, a very familiar road for so many days, and now we were right back on it.

Around half way, I started to feel very strange, It was almost as if I was dreaming, but I was awake, I was talking with Charlie, but I just couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of dreaming, not sleeping, I felt my body numbed, and had to really fight to stay focused on the road.

At no moment were we in danger of a car crash, but I have never experienced such a feeling, and to this moment I have no idea what May have caused it.

Once we arrived safely at VCU, we made our way to our old stomping grounds, The Burn Unit.

No matter how many times I have walked down those hallways, there is always a coldness about them, and this time Charlie was with me, this was the first.

We got into her room, right by the entrance, a regular room, non-ICU .

We got her set up, found room for her wheelchair, got all her electronics set up, you know that you are a regular when all your devices automatically connect to the Wi-Fi.

Charlie was a little calmer, I think the fact that a few of her dear nurses and doctors came by to welcome her, gave her some comfort.

That is my friends, I have been up since 3:50am, I guess I am also anxious.

My alarm will go off at 7am, and I will get up and start our day!

I have been praying for Charlie’s surgery to go well, I can’t help but worry, until I can see her later this afternoon, I know I won’t be able to focus much.

I am grateful for the VCU Burn team, and I am grateful to you! Thank you for continuing to Pray for Charlie.

If you once again, feel inclined to send Charlie, get well Cards, here is your chance once again:

Attn: Charlie Anne Xavier

Evans-Haynes Burn Center

Critical Care Hospital, 8th floor

1213 E. Clay St.

Richmond, VA 23298

Thank you and have a blessed day!

André

Day 290 | JUNE 27, 2022

Good evening, Friends, today is day 290 of our new and amazing journey.

Today my entry will be short and I apologize for it.

Today our day started very regularly, but by 10 am, Charlie got a call from VCU saying that she was expected to be admitted today at 10 am??

We knew that her surgery is scheduled for tomorrow, and we were very surprised that she needed to come in today!

After a few calls and some confusion, it was confirmed, Charlie had to come to the hospital ASAP!

Well, by now you know how strong Charlie is, she said, well I am only going on after I can put my boys to bed, and that she did.

So, we arrived at VCU burn unit at 10pm, and the admission was a breeze, we made our way up to the burn unit floor and her room was ready for her, few familiar faces welcome us, and I helped Charlie to get all settled, and now I am here at Panera having a coffee and a bagel before driving home.

Tomorrow I will do a morning entry with the usual level of details, but tonight I need to focus on getting home safe!

Thank you so much for all your support, prayers and love.

Charlie is scheduled to be the second case into the OR in the morning, I will be back early afternoon to see her after her first surgery, please pray for her and her doctors!

Have a good night!

André

Day 289 | JUNE 26, 2022

Good evening, Friends, today is day 289 of our new and amazing life!

What a blessed day!

Sunday as many of you know, it used to be our favorite of all days, mainly because it was the one day I would take off from work, we would go to church as a family and after Mass, we would go for Brunch or Lunch.

Well, today was the first Sunday since the accident that we recreated the version of our favorite day, but we made it extra special today.

This day started early for me, baby Julien woke up at 3am, and I was there to get him back to sleep, which he did by 4:30am.

When 7am came, I was ready to start our day.

Sunday breakfast was light, and after everyone ate, it was almost time to leave for the 11 am Mass.

Today, VoVo and baby Julien decided to stay back. She is dealing with allergies and didn’t want to venture outside, so Charlie, London and I went to Mass.

Today was the first time that Charlie went to church, since the accident, it was a very special and meaningful Mass to our family, it was the first time we together were in God’s house and together we thanked him for his miracle, it was emotional and at the same time so comforting to be in front of our Parish, We have been parishioners of the Holy Comforter Catholic Church for over a decade and we are so grateful for the prayers and support given to use by our fellow parishioners, our priest was kind enough to acknowledge Charlie’s presence at Mass, and he also gave Charlie a special blessing, to prepare her soul and body for the next set of surgeries ahead of her.

Our Faith has been the guide and source of strength during this journey, and we will continue to rely on God’s mercy and all sacraments from the Catholic Church to be our guide as we move on to the next phase of our journey.

After Mass we made our way to Lunch, and we chose to once again go to the Dairy Market. They make it very accessible and easy to enjoy our family time.

We also did an impromptu photo shoot, when a local publication had their photographer meet us at the dairy market for pictures for their story.

It was also nice to meet so many people that have learned about Charlie’s story, we are so grateful for each and every one of you that stop by to say hello, thank you!

Tonight, Charlie and I decided that we needed to have a special dinner before she goes back to the hospital.

To help you understand how special tonight’s dinner was, I have to go back to a few days before the accident.

I had made plans to take Charlie to marigold at Keswick Hall to celebrate the opening of Patch, that would had been the Tuesday after the accident (the accident happened on a Friday) , sadly, that dinner never happened because of the accident.

So, today we decided that we would go and have that dinner today! We made reservations at the fantastic Marigold and there we went, Charlie looked beautiful in her dress.

Tonight was truly the first time that Charlie and I went anywhere alone! No aid with us .

Many of you don’t know, but maybe 8 years ago, I was a manager at Keswick Hall, a luxury resort in Charlottesville, VA and that is where marigold is located.

It was an amazing dinner, the restaurant is gorgeous, the service impeccable and the food just fantastic!

We had the best time ever, we cried, we laughed, we dreamed and we looked back, it was one of the most intimate and deep conversations we ever had, it was simply amazing!

After we finished our desert and coffee, we made our way to our van, and as we walked past the hotel main entrance, I asked Charlie if she wanted to take a look, on the newly renovated hotel, and we went in for a quick tour, and it was stunning, Charlie loves decoration and she loved how tasteful and beautiful the hotel decor was, it was a treat to the eyes.

We finally left and came home, and on the way, we just couldn’t be more thankful for such an incredible night, and according to Charlie, tonight’s dinner did provide her a reminder of how amazing this new life is going to be, the simple fact that we had this dinner together tonight, it is proof that God is good and we are so grateful for this second chance.

Thank you for your prayers and kindness towards our family.

May God Bless You, have a good night.

André

Day 288 | JUNE 25, 2022

Good evening, Friends, today is day 288 of our new and amazing life!

Today we planned to have a fun day, and that we did.

The boys didn’t wake up early today , so I woke them up around 8am.

We had breakfast and by 9:45a we were on our way to the pool!

We have a pool in our community, and it is a short walk from our house.

Charlie always loved the water and so our boys, well London more so than Julien at this time

Me and the boys played in the water from 10am until Noon, we had so much fun! And Charlie watched us from the shaded area by the pool.

I think of the day Charlie will be able to swim in a pool or at the Ocean. I know it will be a while, but that day will come.

On the way back, Julien fell asleep in his stroller and London rode back in the back of Charlie’s chair. He loves it!!

Lunch was quick, and the boys were tired, but Julien did not continue his nap after lunch

Charlie had wound care today, and I worked a little on the book in the afternoon.

I also played with the boys in the afternoon, and by dinner time I was tired.

I am not proud of my behavior during dinner, I was just tired, and child care is not my strong suit, I do struggle with my patience more often than I would like.

I guess I do have a lot in my mind, but I don’t want to use that as an excuse.

I know I let Charlie down tonight, and it is a weird reminder that this was my attitude on the night before the accident, and I really don’t want to continue to behave like this.

As we prepare to have Charlie back at the Burn Unit, to endure multiple surgeries, incredible pain, I am reminded that I also have work to do, I have to take a deep look inside and reflect on my own imperfections.

Tomorrow, we will be attending Mass, it will be the first time that Charlie goes to Church since the accident, and she is very excited for it!

Thank you for your support and please continue to pray for our family.

May God Bless You!

Andre

Day 287 | JUNE 24, 2022

Good evening, Friends today is day 287 of our new and amazing life!

Well, you will want to read today’s entry until the end.

I was up early today, 5 am before any of the boys, I guess I had a lot in my mind.

The benefit of waking up so early is the peace and quiet I get to experience; I took two hours to work on our book. I am now entering the part where Charlie was moved from the ICU into a regular room, and that is a very happy part of her journey.

Around 7am, Julien woke up and London shortly after, it was time to make breakfast, nothing fun today, just the usual protein waffles and fruit.

Charlie woke up and got ready for her OT appointment that was in the morning. Once she arrived home, she had planned a fun picnic with a few of her friends and neighbors. I could hear all the fun and laughter from the kids in my office.

When I went outside, it was an amazing site! A true block summer party! There were water balloon fights, kids laughing, others crying, moms having fun, and Charlie was in heaven!

They had Pizza, water and juice for the kids! It was so much fun to see London having a blast! And Charlie as well, she loves to be with her friends, and especially when the boys are having fun!

Today was the day, People article came out, I also tried to secure us a copy, without success, but tomorrow I will try again

Here is the big announcement, Charlie will be returning to VCU burn unit next week, she will be redoing a few of her skin grafts, the open areas on her buttocks, knees, elbows and ankles.

It was a very difficult decision that Charlie had to made, she has been enduring incredible pain and discomfort, the open wounds made rehab extra painful and difficult, and that continued at home, those spots just were not healing on their own, so on her last appointment with her Burn Surgeon, he made the assessment of the spots, and just few days ago, the determination came, those open spots will not heal on their own, a skin graft is needed.

Charlie and I knew that was a real possibility, we just were a little surprised on how quick the surgery would be, next Tuesday!

That is right, Charlie is returning to the hospital and could be there for upwards of 4 weeks and including a stop at rehab :(

It is very hard to accept, that once again she will endure unbelievable pain, once again be at risk of infection, and the most painful part is to be away from her boys, once again!

Charlie is strong and brave to be going back, she knows that she is taking a step back, but necessary to move forward.

Once the skin grafts are done, her open wounds hopefully will be closed, and the pain associated with it gone, she will be able to work harder on her PT, without tearing her skin, and that means she will be on the road to hopefully have her knee replacement surgeries in the near future.

Now more than ever we will need your prayers and support, we are going back to a very scary place, where there are no guarantees and fear will crawl its way back in our minds.

Please pray for our kids, they will learn tomorrow that mommy is going back to the hospital.

I am trusting God and his infinite mercy, that he will continue to bless us, but I would be lying if I didn’t express how scared I am, how anxious and also scared Charlie is.

Our new life takes unexpected turns, we have no control over anything, but the one thing we can do, is to focus on what we can control, and that is how we react to what life throws at us, we choose to be grateful, and we ask God for his mercy, and we ask you for your prayers, and we do it now once again, because it worked before! Let’s do it once again!

For the newcomers, you are about to experience the same intensity of emotions and feelings that I felt in the first days of the accident. We are going back to that same hospital; you will want to stay on!

I hope we can continue to count on you!

May God Bless You! Have a good night!

André

Day 286 | JUNE 23, 2022

Good evening, Friends, today is day 286 of our new and amazing life!

Today I woke up with London in my bed. I guess he got scared with the storm last night and made his way into bed.

I woke up before baby Julien did, so I was able to shower before the boys were up. When that happens, I am able to start my day on time!

Breakfast made for the boys and myself, Charlie came out once we were finished, she had a busy day ahead of her with PT and wound care.

I also had a very busy day at work, insurance audit was the name of my game today.

After working for a few hours, it was time for lunch. I waited until Charlie was home around 1:50pm. My mom had made one of Charlie’s favorite dishes, “Arroz ao Forno”.

Charlie’s wound care lasts 3.5hrs, and it is painful, but Charlie as usual doesn’t complain.

Right at 5pm, Charlie texted me, family fun time outside now!

I made my way outside, and Charlie was surrounded by few of our neighbors, even before the accident, Charlie always had a lot of friends and she loves people We enjoyed the end of afternoon weather, it was a warm day, but at 5pm, there was low humidity and the sun was just warm enough, the wind gently rolling in, it was just perfect!

We stayed out with the boys, until 7:40pm, Friends came and visited, Neighbors and dogs, it just felt so natural and mundane to be outside as a family, and when I just took a second to take all this in, I was reminded of how blessed we are, how amazing is to have Charlie alive and here with us, God has given us a true miracle and for that I am so grateful!

The boys had so much fun playing outside, and baby Julien decided that he wants to ride London’s bike now , he is just like his mommy, very independent and fearless.

London was the same way. He learned to ride a bike without training wheels by age 2 and 3 months, I have the feeling Julien will be following in his footsteps, we use balance bikes to train our boys.

Charlie is mesmerized by how adorable our boys play with each other, and the boys love to have their mommy back!

Charlie had a good PT session; she continues to work on her range of motion and improving her drop foot.

I would like to thank you for once again being on the bestselling list on Amazon, we are so grateful for your prayers and support!

Tomorrow is an exciting day, it is the day People will arrive at the Newsstands, be sure to get your copy, rumor says that People May sell out in Charlottesville!

Thank you and please continue to pray for our family, The journey to recovery is a long one and we are just starting it.

May God Bless You!

André