Cherie Priest's Blog: It's awards season, so here comes the shameless self-promotion, page 35

The moon is low tonight

Today I got my main birthday present from the husband: Cable TV! We've been living in the dark like cave-people long enough. Network TV has sufficed all these years, with the intermittent addition of basic thirteen ... but I wanted more.

I think it mostly has to do with me working from home, and leaving the house so little - except to travel. When I had a day-job, and/or when I was much more sociable in Seattle, it seemed like I wasn't missing anything. Now that I routinely spend days at a time without going any farther than my back yard ... well. Sometimes you just want to veg out to something other than QVC and the local news.

So I asked for cable, for my birthday. (Which was yesterday - but the installer couldn't get out until today.) Cable, and a bottle of my favorite rum. My husband came through gloriously, providing both of those things and another few goodies too. All in all, a marvelously pleasant day.

* * *

Today, though - like I said, the cable installer came, and the poor guy turned out to have a dog phobia.

On a related note: let me just tell you now, it is VERY MANLY how our 85-pound pooch will whimper like a baby when he does not successfully troll for cuddles. (Not from us, thank God. But all new visitors must pay the snuggle-tax, or else be cried upon.)

Very manly indeed.

* * *

In other news, come Friday we'll have a new HVAC unit.

Our present model was installed circa 1987, and has developed a veritable host of bad habits - not least of all, the aggravating (and possibly dangerous) tendency to chuck its exterior panels all over the yard. No, seriously. I replace them every time I notice they've sprung loose and gone walkabout, but it always feels like an exercise in futility. Surely the moment I turn around, a rusty sheet of metal will pop free and shoot off into the grass, laughing at me. Maybe slicing my feet off, if I catch it wrong. I don't know. Anything's possible.

Also delightful: when the old unit isn't shedding its rust-pocked skin, it's making weird noises and collecting dead leaves and grass into awesome little snowdrifts inside its belly. Seriously, it's a wonder we don't have squirrels nesting up in there. Hell, maybe we do.

Brace yourself for eviction, suburban wildlife.

* * *

Speaking of. I accidentally surprised the (possibly literal) crap out of a squirrel in the attic the other night. Went up there to put some stuff away, and the little bastard was napping in a box beside my winter sweaters.

He was like, "AUGH!" and I was like "AUGH!" and I stumbled backwards and he stumbled backwards and we basically got as far away from one another as we could manage, as quickly as we could manage it.

(Our attic isn't sealed. Squirrels are a known quantity, until we can either build out the space or install a force field. Such is life.)

* * *

Anyway, here’s today's progress on my modern pseudo-noir young-adult mystery with murder, medical blackmail, pop culture myth-making, missing persons, and a digital Hail Mary that's become an international sensation:
Project: Princess X
Deadline: January 1, 2014
New words written: 975 (gag.)
Present total word count: 16,082 words



Things accomplished in fiction: Did some more reading, agreed to a business-type relationship with the weird kid who lives downstairs.

Next up: Pizza with Dad, speculation, and a quest for hints and clues - which aren't quite the same thing.

Things accomplished in real life: Daily jaunt around the neighborhood with the dog even though it was pouring outside, as if the dog gives a damn; kept the dog company while he was in exile during the cable installation; exchanged a few important emails; paid a couple of bills; did dishes; finished yesterday's laundry; hiked down the street a ways for lunch; not much else.

Other: Terrible word count, yes. But it's my first word count at all in awhile, so cut me some slack, eh? Or don't. I probably don't deserve any. [:: sigh ::]

Bonus! other: There is no bonus other. I'm too busy channel surfing. Later, gators...

Number of fiction words so far this year: 116,567

In the betting of names on gold to rust

Woke up entirely too early this morning, to the crash of an 18-wheeler slamming into my house, or that's what it sounded like. Coincidentally, an 18-wheeler was involved in a catastrophic, power pole-smashing wreck about a block away, knocking out the electricity for a bit and causing traffic to be rerouted even as I type this ... nine hours later.

Not the finest way ever to begin a Monday.
In case you were wondering.

Anyway. My mom was here in the guest room - and since we were all up and around (like it or not), I walked the dog, helped Mom load up her car, and gathered my grandmother and aunt from their hotel. Then I took everyone to breakfast.

I'm making this sound simpler than it was, because in fact, it took about five hours. I'd go into it, but I don't have the energy to write another post like this one.

Suffice it to say, it's never dull with this crew. (Furthermore, a weekend in their presence largely explains my damn near obsessive need for planning in my personal life. I bet.)

* * *

I didn't get home from all of this jaunting about with the ladies until this afternoon, at which point I stripped down the guest bed and started a laundry marathon (we're also out of clean towels) ... and then I played email catch-up, including a round or two with the Marvelous Liz (my editor at Tor) re: the flap copy for Fiddlehead.

Then I spent awhile on the phone doing Grown Up Things. Ergo, tomorrow morning a guy is coming over to take a look at our HVAC unit (installed in 1987, and literally rusting where it sits - when it's not losing stray panels or making weird noises) ... and come Monday, a different guy will be here checking out the awful den/guest room carpet and the tragic disco parquet, with an eye toward removing both and replacing them with wood to match the rest of the house.

I've been bitching too long. It's time to take action.

Besides that, I spent a very frustrating hour negotiating with our alarm system. It felt like I was trying to talk a bank robber out of a stand-off, and the bank robber just kept BEEPING WILDLY at me when all I wanted him to do was shut up shut up shut up for the love of God and you know what? Just kill all the hostages, I don't even care because I CANNOT TAKE THE BEEPING ANYMORE. The violent power outage this morning had sent the alarm haywire, and it took a lot of manual perusing, swearing, and button-mashing to finally reset it properly.

Frankly, I'd like to have it removed and replaced with something better. Hell, if anyone in the Chattanooga area can recommend a company that can extricate a system like this, by all means let me know. It's annoying as shit.

I guess what I'm saying is, the day has gotten away from me.
Tomorrow, we try again. But this afternoon, we nap.

My lightning's flashing across the sky

It's been a day of errands and yardwork because the weather was a bit cooler; and since it was overcast, this was probably the best day we'll get for outdoors labor for awhile.

With that in mind, I got the backyard trimmed up nicely (but ran out of juice to finish the front and sides), cleaned up the garden a bit, pruned the rose tree and aggressively weeded its (badly overgrown) bed, cleaned up the bird corner, cleaned out the bird feeders and added seed/suet, likewise made more hummingbird food and put it out there, and trimmed/cleaned/pruned/relabeled the herb garden. Other than that, it was just groceries and more candles for the mantle, and then the last of the housework (vacuumed, laundry, kitchen, etc.).

Still no writing work, but you'd be hard-pressed to argue that I've not been productive. My mom's coming over to spend the night tomorrow; that's kind of my excuse for frittering around the house instead of at the laptop. Not that my mom gives a hooey if the hedges are trimmed, but it's the principle of the thing.

* * *

Last night, the husband and I went to see The Conjuring. I wanted to see it partly because yay, ghosts! and partly because I'm passingly familiar with the story of Ed and Lorraine Warren. (In the second Eden book, you meet the "Marshalls," a husband/wife ghost-hunting team whose existence was, shall we say, "prompted" by the Warrens - though not strictly inspired by them.)

Overall, I enjoyed it, but I can see how it could come off as a little too easy. Two confident experts are invoked. They take the case. Things are subsequently explained, and then fixed. The end. One could argue that it's too much case file, not enough mystery. That's how my husband read it, anyway.

But I appreciated the straightforwardness of it all. In my opinion, the most tedious part of any horror story is the dragging bit at the start where the skeptics must slowly be won over to become True Believers. Bah, I say. Bring in the family that knows right away when it has a serious problem, and show me the earnest, dorky priest-hero archetypes to the rescue. Skip all that gradual case-making humdrum. I don't mind a slow-burn warm-up, but my patience for characters who refuse to admit or confirm their own experience ... is pretty damn low.

Come to think of it, I tend to feel the same way about real people, in real life. Hmm.

* * *

To be clear, I have no opinion on the veracity of the Warrens or their erstwhile careers in demonology. All I'm saying is, I enjoyed the interpretation presented by the movie.

* * *

Right. Well, I smell like bug spray and sunscreen, and I'm covered in fine bits of grass and dirt, plus a thin seasoning of sweat. Time to take a shower and settle in for the evening. I have some reading to do, and some notes to jot, and some rum to sip; maybe I'll fidget my way back around to doing something creatively productive, before the day is out.

Thanks for reading.

Translucent skin I'd look right through

Yesterday I put my cousin on a plane and sent her back to Florida. Her visit amounted to three days of running all over town for job interviews (for her, not me), with the occasional nibble of lunch or gelato. Always nice to see her, of course, and I hope she gets the gig she's really pining for; I also hope her move back to Tennessee next month goes smoothly, for she'll be just a couple of miles away.

Not much else to report, I suppose. The last two weeks have been quite full and sociable, and I've gotten some work done - no, seriously! - but mostly it's been writing business work, rather than writing.

I may or may not climb back on the composition pony come tomorrow, depending on the weather; our yard is in a truly terrible state, and I need to attend to it...but it's been so hot. Or wet. Or both. It's difficult to scrape up the motivation, even when one has kicky sun hats to wear and heirloom tomatoes to baby.

It's hard to procrastinate when you're busy procrastinating from your usual procrastination activity of choice.

That said, just one more thing and then I'll go find some other way to procrastinate - or get down to business, whichever. (Yes, I know it's Friday afternoon. Deadlines know no weekend.) I wanted to post this here so it gets the play it deserves, before I forget: Tor.com is having a 5th birthday blowout, offering all five years' worth of that site's original fiction in a free ebook anthology .

Yeah, you read that right. Five years. Of stories. Free. For you to read. The collection includes my Wild Cards short, "The Button Man and the Murder Tree," as well as offerings from approximately one bazillion other folks whose stuff you WANT no you really DO just click over there and look.

Free. That's the operative word.
So go on. Check it out.
And have a fabulous weekend. Spend it inside reading, maybe.

As promised.

Dog, fresh from the groomer - now wearing a kicky purple gingham bandanna. Merrily frolicking in the dirt, yes. Because dog, that's why.

Number one with a bullet I'm a power pack

Well folks, the Humble Bundle promo is over - so if you missed it, my apologies. On the upshot, you won't hear me natter about it anymore, so there's that! Seriously, though: it was a pleasure and a privilege to be included, and I can't thank the organizers enough for inviting me.
* * * * *

Can't remember if I mentioned this here or not, or only on FB/Twitter ... but the "cemetery kittens" (as I'd come to think of them) have both moved on to their forever homes. One is right here in my neighborhood, and one is out by Signal Mountain ... so three cheers for that, eh? Many thanks to the fine folks at the McKamey Animal Center for doing right by those little guys.
* * * * *

Had a most excellent visit this past week with one of my very dearest friends in the world. I don't see her nearly often enough, now that we no longer live in the same town. (We both used to live in Chattanooga, and now she lives elsewhere.) It was a wonderful time, if too brief; but epic shopping marathons did verily occur - and much good booze went down the hatch. Until next time!

[:: toasts in her general direction ::]

(I don't mean to be coy about her identity, though people routinely ask me to SPILL THE BEANS in case she's someone famous or something. She's not. She just likes her privacy, and I respect that.)
* * * * *

Next up: my cousin Chelsea is coming into town Tuesday for a round of job interviews. (Same cousin who graduated in May, and is now an RN.) She won't be here but a few days before she goes back to Florida for the rest of the summer, but they'll be jam-packed days - and I may or may not get around to any word metrics or posting.

I'll try to keep up my end of the internet bargain, but not long after Chelsea leaves, my mom is passing through as well. So it's Guest City up in here, as of late. So I hope you'll forgive me if I'm a bit more scarce than I typically prefer to be.
* * * * *

Did a 90-minute chat with the kind folks from the Social Media Alliance of Chattanooga, as previously mentioned. I talked too fast and rambled too much, and probably digressed in excess. But by and large, I said what I meant to say - and met a bunch of lovely people while I was at it. Bonus: reconnected with an old friend, and made vows of dog playdates in the future. No regrets, man.
* * * * *

I mentioned before that I very much enjoyed Pacific Rim. It's still sticking with me a bit - prompting a late-night musing. I once had a professor tell me that one key to suspense giving the protagonists an impossible time frame in which to complete a task ... and then cutting it in half. PR is a master class in this, I swear.

Without going into spoilers or anything, our heroes are up against impossible odds when things get underway - and still their time and their resources are cut in half, and cut in half once more, and cut in half again. And all the while, their enemies' resources double exponentially - like some weird, warped, reverse Fibonacci sequence.

Anyway. The more I think about it, the more I'm impressed with the craft of the thing.
* * * * *

Okay. That's all the recap I've got for now. I'll be around tomorrow, probably - with dog pictures if nothing else. Greyson's going to the groomer, for a very badly needed bath and foot/teeth/butt clean-up; and he always comes back looking and smelling like a little prince, so there will be pictures. Especially if they give him a kicky little bandanna, and he doesn't yank it off and eat it. Like last time.

But it's starting to thunder over here, so I'm going to log off and wait out the afternoon thundershower. Have a good one, everybody.

One. Last. Chance.

As of this post, you have a mere 8 hours to help yourself to the Humble Bundle . Eight hours to pay what you want, send the money where you want, and get buckets of kickass digital reading material. I won't bore you with another rundown, but I did want to make this one last reminder.

So. Consider yourselves reminded.

On that note - I'm taking the rest of the week "off" more or less, due to circumstances including (but not limited to) such diverse elements as having company coming into town, and having some projects to tackle. I'll be checking email and keeping tabs on the usual things, but don't expect any blogging or metrics for the next few days.

Right. Yes.
Have a good week, everyone! I know I plan to!

We can make it to the road in a homemade boat

I don't have a decent blog post queued up, and for that I apologize in advance. Then again, I'm often told that word metrics are boring filler, so I guess this one's for those of you who prefer an assortment of random stuff I need to post before I forget.

Ahem.

First up: Tomorrow, from 11:30 am to 1:00 pm, I'll be in the community room at EPB for this-here conversation about social media. Free for all who show up. So show up! Ride an elevator! Come listen to me make a fool of myself for 90 minutes.

No, really. Foolishness is veritably guaranteed to ensue. The event is technically about "personal branding" and as I told the lovely woman who asked me to speak ... I bristle and eyeroll at the phrase; I think it's both misleading and unappealing. Her response: "Great!" So if this goes sideways, well, you could see it coming a mile away.

Next: I saw Pacific Rim and it was amazing. Smarter than you're probably prepared to expect, full of gravitas and spectacle, and just a hell of a lot of fun. At its very best, it does a fine job of leaping up and down on that ancient nerve, that primal prayer of every frightened child: "Please, let there be someone or something bigger than me, stronger than me, more powerful than me. Please, someone save me." Seriously, I loved it. Most fun I'd had at a movie in ages.

Also: Saw Despicable Me 2, and it was adorable. Not gonna change your life, but I genuinely enjoyed it - much better than the first one, which I enjoyed ... but found it more like "okay." (Plenty to say "awwww" about, but not much to cheer for.) Kristen Wiig's character "Lucy" really gave Gru someone to bounce off of, other than the little girls. It worked nicely. Fun soundtrack, too.

For that matter: BEHOLD ... a final cover for Fiddlehead. Coming this fall - a Victorian espionage thriller set mostly in Washington, DC, with a zombie twist! Stay tuned for more as we ramp up to this one, which will close off the main arc of the Clockwork Century series.

Finally: Saw these guys on Scenic City Roots, Live from Track 29 (local PBS) and they put a smile on my face. So here's one for the road, eh?

I had too much to drink and didn't think - I didn't think of you

Here’s today's progress on my modern pseudo-noir young-adult mystery with murder, medical blackmail, pop culture myth-making, missing persons, and a digital Hail Mary that's become an international sensation:
Project: Princess X
Deadline: January 1, 2014
New words written: 2317 (yay!)
Present total word count: 15,107 words



Things accomplished in fiction: Coffeehouse session to compare notes.

Next up: May needs to catch up on her reading.

Things accomplished in real life: Daily jaunt around the neighborhood with the dog; paid yet more bills; did some minor yardwork; refreshed the birdbaths and bird feeders; exchanged some important emails re: Fiddlehead.

Other: Holy crap! A respectable word count! Let's see if I can keep the momentum going, eh?

Bonus! other: Tomorrow, 12:30 p.m. Eastern time - I'll be participating in an AMA over on Reddit. I don't have the Official Link to it yet, but ought to be able to find it here, when the time arrives . So come on out! Ask me anything. That's...well, that's kind of the point, I suppose...

Number of fiction words so far this year: 115,592

Humble Bundle E-Book Update

So you may recall my all-caps heavy post about the HUMBLE BUNDLE collection of e-booky goodness, including yours truly in some excellent company. You know that's still going on, right? But only for another week!

And JUST SO YOU KNOW ... four MORE ebooks have been added to the bundle! If you pay (or have paid) greater than the going average for the bundle ... you ALSO get the following:
xkcd: volume 0 by Randall Munroe, featuring selections from the first 600 comics of geek humor webcomic xkcd, including favorites from both the author and fans.

Signal to Noise, by Neil Gaiman & Dave McKean - with additional extras, including three short stories by McKean, one of which is also written by Gaiman.

The Poison Eaters and Other Stories, by Holly Black - her very first collection of shorts! You’ll get hooked on stories about an eating contest with the Devil and three sisters with lips of poison.

Machine of Death, by Ryan North, Matthew Bennardo, David Malki, and Other Contributors - a collection of science fiction short stories, each centered around a device that, given a blood sample, will print out how a person is going to die.


I mean, just in case the previous offerings weren't QUITE enough for you to take the plunge!

All the same rules apply:
(1). GO TO THE HUMBLE BUNDLE SITE , where you can click on any of the icons for a free preview of the works you'd like to acquire.

(2). PAY WHATEVER YOU WANT. Seriously. And that is IT.


So go on! Take a gander at the new stuff, poke around the stuff that's been up there for a few days, and see if you can't throw a few pence into the hat - even if it's all just for charity! That having been said, I do have this giant ridiculous puppy over here, and he's gotta eat, so...