Doug Goodman's Blog, page 2

So You’ve Moved Into an Apartment With Your German Shepherd…

Doesn’t stop him from German Shepherding the place.

Koda woke me up at 6:30 am to go to the bathroom. This was a gift. He’s usually waking me between 4:30 and 5:30 in the morning. But then, maybe twenty to thirty minutes later, those Batman ears began circling our bed. He rested his long snout by our faces and breathed deliberately. “Con ganas,” as my assistant principal in high school used to say when he wanted our attention. When that didn’t work, he shook loudly. And when that didn’t work, he stood at the foot of our bed, in the middle of the room, and stared at us while we tried to sleep.

Clearly, the Fireman needed something. Was it hunger? Did he need to go out again?

I dressed and walked into the living room, watching his behavior for his indication. Staring at the door-needs to go out. Pushing the bin of dog food-hungry. But no, he followed me around the house. Downright cheerful, I might add. I finally gave up, sat down at the dining table (my makeshift office space) and logged in to the laptop. Koda laid down on his dog bed in the living room, content. He’s been there ever since.

What the? Did this dog just wake our asses up cause he was tired of being in the bedroom and wanted us to move to the living room where he was more comfortable?

?!?!?!

I’m pretty sure we were just herded.

@#$&!*% German Shepherds!

For the record, this is the troublemaker ever since I walked into the living room. Mission accomplished – herd secured! __ATA.cmd.push(function() { __ATA.initDynamicSlot({ id: 'atatags-26942-60f9c4e7c004f', location: 120, formFactor: '001', label: { text: 'Advertisements', }, creative: { reportAd: { text: 'Report this ad', }, privacySettings: { text: 'Privacy', } } }); });

Underworld Dog Published on Patreon

Yesterday I uploaded the new Zombie Dog short story, “Underworld Dog” to Patreon. Patrons of any level can unlock and read the story. Underworld Dog is the closest I’ve come to writing a “light hearted” story about a dog named Murder who tracks zombies and his human handler. In “Underworld Dog,” Angie Graves has been hired on as a consultant for a movie working for a renegade-style director who used real zombies in the making of her film (without telling anyone). This is actually inspired by movies like Poltergeist, Dawn of the Dead, and even the original 1931 movie of Frankenstein, which all used real human skeletons in their production instead of creating fake props because purchasing skeletons was cheaper.

If you want to get started on Underworld Dog (and unlock all the other short stories as well as the novella Perro Chupacabra), you can sign up for my Patreon account here. Supporters will be acknowledged when Murder Dog, the new Zombie Dog book, is released, probably in September.

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Satan’s Army on the Continental Divide

Sometimes things happen at just the right moment. But if things didn’t fall in that exact order, if the timing wasn’t exact, if the pitfalls never happened, then my wife would not have come face to face with Satan’s army. You may be thinking, why would she want to meet Satan’s army? We’ll get there.

So maybe the story started when we had lunch at Sun Point, and the horseflies loved them some Goodman, so I started packing up quickly. I didn’t like cramming my orange slices, can of tuna, and half bar of chocolate/almonds/huckleberry, but those horseflies were all over me! They would follow me from the picnic table to the car like a half-starved person at a buffet just going back and forth as many times as it takes to completely fill the belly hole.

Or maybe the story started with us turning around at St. Mary Falls because the area is recovering from forest fires, and the sun looked too powerful to combat that day. There is a third fall up the trail, and we didn’t get to see it, but the falls we did see were magnificent. I’m talking about gushing torrents of white froth that dissolves into crystalline waters. St. Mary Falls (not St. Mary’s Falls) was a wonderful experience and a fun 2-3 mile hike, but we had to cut it short.

Beautiful, ravaged land with a crystal blue kintsugi scar…

Maybe it started before we woke up that day. None of this would’ve happened if Logan’s Pass wasn’t opened up. We were there the very first day, so I saw the people hiking up the mountain and through the snow to the Hidden Lake overlook. I’ve hiked that trail before, and I remember standing there looking at the people walking up the snow and thinking “that’s a recipe for disaster.” I then noticed the return hikers sitting beside me nursing their ankles. One was in a soft cast, and while I doubt that had anything to do with the trail, it decided for me that we didn’t need to hike that trail. So did the warning sign next to the trailhead: Snow and Ice on Trail! Be Careful. Possibility to Slip and Fall! (The image at the top of the post is of Clements Mountain next to the Hidden Lake overlook. If you look closely, you can see people walking through the snow and ice straight up the mountainside.)

But the second time we were driving up the Going to the Sun Road, we were leaving the park after our adventures at St. Mary Falls. I had in my mind to check out the Highline Trail, which runs along the Continental Divide. I’ve thought about hiking it before, and as we approached the Logan’s Pass Visitor’s Center, I wondered maybe we could hike a small portion of it. I paused the car as we approached the trailhead, which is directly across the road from the visitor’s center.

Small rope lines are common along the trails to help guide hikers, but this rope straddled the path. A handwritten sign announced that the trail was closed. My heart sank just a tiny bit. As I pressed the accelerator, my wife exclaimed with excitement. Her head jerked to the side.

“Go back!”

I checked the rearview mirror and slowly rolled the car back.

There on the ridgeline not far from the car stood three Bighorn Sheep, and these sheep were HUGE.

My wife had two realizations in that moment. First, that they were almost as big as a small horse. All three of them would have looked down on us in our tiny rental car. Then one of them looked directly at Mrs. Bad Ass, and she exclaimed a second time, but more disturbed than excited. She saw why goats are used in icons of Lucifer. That long face, those abnormal, alien-like eyes. She quickly dubbed them Satan’s Army. The lieutenants knocked horns. It was the coolest!!

Of course, I was saying, “Get the cameras!” We’d seen Grizzly Bears, a Black Bear, a Bald Eagle, and even a Moose interrupting a bridal party. (You really do see a lot more animals on the eastern side of Glacier.) But we hadn’t seen Bighorns since a Colorado trip in 2010, and the southern sheep were much smaller than their northern cousins. These sheep trotted down the side of the pass in front of our car and ran up the other side. If we hadn’t been there in that exact spot, in that exact moment, we’d never have seen them.

I’ve often wondered how much life is like this, these specific moments that occur because of long series of events that occur before them. I’ve said before that tragedies are almost always a series of very wrong, highly unusual events that then lead to a tragedy. The story doesn’t usually go, the hiker in the woods was killed by the bear. It’s the hiker who decided to go out in the woods alone, who was hiking in an area they did not know, who was offered precautionary measures but refused them, who happened to be in the area of a bear that was either significantly malnourished or a little wrong in the head (perhaps a known aggressive bear). It’s not just one thing. Any one of those things goes different, and the hiker returns home from an uneventful trek.

The same can be said for these really memorable moments in life. “Stars have to align,” is the expression, but perhaps it’s more appropriate to say stories require plot twists, some less fortunate than others, so that the payoff can happen. We’ve had several plot twists so far on our vacation, none of them a real problem, but they’ve all lead to these really cool moments. I hope you have some plot twists this week, and while the payoff may not happen this week or even this month, I hope you do get the payoff. It’ll be worth it!

Hey, thank you for reading and I hope you’re enjoying my posts. I write the Zombie Dog books, which you can find here both digitally and paperback. I also have a Patreon account here. Supporters get perks like reading my short stories for free.

Sending Some Appreciation to the Service Industries This Summer

This one day was filled with setbacks and disappointments. We learned that Logan’s Pass was closed (it opened the next morning), Bird Woman Falls was subsequently unviewable (it opened the next morning), and then we weathered a few minor bumps, like how this one café had to become ice cream only because there aren’t enough people to work the tables and prep the food. But as disappointing as our day was, the person behind the counter made the whole day that much better.

Our epic road trip has shown me how much the lingering side effects of COVID-19 and how the U.S. is lacking in people to work service industry jobs right now. We’ve ran into these “We’re Hiring” setbacks from Texas to Montana. I can only assume it’s hitting the coasts just as hard. As people with jobs and vacation money, I can’t complain. I try to push patience. I wish everybody was the same.

I wanted to take a post and say thanks to everyone working long shifts full of longer lines and people who were hungry/thirsty an hour ago. I know it is a hell of a summer in a too-often thankless environment. Thanks for serving us.

I will gush on the people in the service industry whom we met, like the guy working the ice cream booth who was real happy and upbeat despite the fact that he had a line twenty people long. It didn’t phase him, and he was happy to help us with our ice cream choices. Every customer was the first customer ever to approach the bar, and he didn’t try to force anyone to hurry. He even paused to set up some music on his phone. The dude was having a good time, and I’m really glad I got to meet him.

The rangers and the park staff are also making the best of a bad situation where a national park is only partly open (hello, ticketing, how I hate you) and they’re dealing with so many additional stressors, like how to make people enter a visitor center in an orderly fashion while meeting federal mandates on social distancing. I remember this one woman working the counter at Many Glacier’s gift shop. She asked me what time I woke up that morning. Maybe she knew I was an early riser? She suggested 5:30am to get the perfect view of the Stegosaurus Plate. I believe she called it “Grinnel Point.” Where do people get these silly names for the mountains?

One of the most insane moments, though, actually happened in New Mexico. We had our first visit to Zeb’s Restaurant and Bar. Zeb’s was one of the first restaurants with many signs around the restaurant asking for patience because they don’t have the staff, but also, please share that they are looking to hire staff. So this is me sharing that message. Zeb’s needs waitstaff! If you know of anyone who’s looking for a job in Angel Fire, NM, they’re hiring!

Our server was definitely under sixteen, and probably closer to ten or twelve. Maybe ten. I’m pretty sure that’s allowed because Zeb’s is family-owned and operated, but I don’t know anything about child work laws in New Mexico. Everybody in the Zeb’s family was working hard to ensure that all their customers were fed quickly. The boy was charming in that little boy way. He only ran to the tables where he was the server, and it was clear that another person was helping him. For example, he asked us for our order, so we gave it. He went to the kitchen, then he ran back to us a minute later asking what kind of gravy we wanted on our potatoes. (White/cream because we aren’t monsters.) He ran back to the kitchen with the update. He ran back to us a few seconds with another question. I forget what the question was, but at this point, Mrs. Bad Ass and I were just trying to think ahead to make sure he had all the information he needed so he wouldn’t be running in and out of the kitchen at full speed. (I don’t think pre-teens know a different speed.) After our long day of hiking up and down the Clear Creek Trail in Cimarron Canyon State Park, we were energized by the family’s gumption in these trying times for the service industry.

Also, I should say that if you ever get the chance to eat there, the restaurant is 75% covered in Christmas decorations all year long, and as our hostess told us, if we wanted, we could get photographs taken in the decorations. As busy as Zeb’s was, though, we passed. When we left, there was a line out the door of people (mostly) patiently waiting to be seated.

So, if you’re still out there, or if you’re heading out soon, please, please be respectful of the professionals on either side of the counter. This is an exceptionally difficult year for them. Practice empathy and patience.

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Good Travels 2021: A Few Tips About Staying at Many Glacier Hotel

They have bell hops. You may not see them, but they have them, so use them. It’s much easier to have some young person bring in your gear than to stow it up and over a large hill.There is no fifth floor. So if you are in Room 514, as we were, don’t go looking for it. Take the directions of the person at the desk: follow the breezeway, then go downstairs. The rooms here are labeled with numbers like “14.” I don’t know what happened to the “5.” This feels like a Sesame Street dilemma, like that morning the Cookie Monster ate the number 5, or maybe the Four monster ate the five. Regardless, there is no 5, your room is at the basement level, and the basement level is incredible.Open the door to the outside. Feel Grinnel Point standing tall for you. Take it in. Bask in it, I say! BASK IN IT! There is a single chair here. Do not be lured into sitting in it. Remember: you still have to unpack.Once you’ve unpacked, it’s time to go find a place to sit. See, that’s what you do at Many Glacier. You sit and marvel at the spectacular view of the landscape. And when I say spectacular, I mean that’s one of the best views in the United States. You now have front seat access to viewing the mountainscape. It’s more than worth the price of admission. I recommend the chairs on the first floor veranda/walkway, but there are benches at the ground level. For those who get cold or don’t like the stiffness of benches, Many Glacier provides plenty of brown chairs inside the hotel with views of Grinnel.It’s cool, or it’s cold on the veranda except for a few hours each day in August. So proper gear for Many Glacier includes fleeces, flannels, scarves, head coverings if you’re bald like me, or whatever your preference for cooler weather. Get the gear so that you can spend more time viewing the magnificent mountain, and when I say magnificent, I mean it’s one of the coolest things you will see in a national park. There are several peaks, and each peak has its own name, but my family likes to think of them as the “Stegosaurus Plates.” One of those plates looks a little more like a Spinosaurus backfin, technically, but the Plates are great naming conventions. Or you can come up with your own while you gaze at them.Eating. This is a pandemic year, so the restaurants are all closed, and there’s just a takeout menu. I liked the bison burger, and the breakfast burrito was good for Montana. For my wife and son, the chicken tenders and cheeseburger were sub-cafeteria quality food. My son still feels jipped because they miscounted the number of chicken tenders and gave him 4 instead of 5, and as much as you pay for them, I’m on his side. Food isn’t $$$$, but expect to pay $$$ prices for $ or $$ food.Drinking. One of the main recreations is drinking your choice of alcohol at the hotel, especially while sitting and staring at the glory of the mountains. And by glory, I mean awesome in ways unconveyed by photography. Mrs. Bad Ass enjoyed the Hefeweizen. I dug the Harvester, but neither of us are connoisseurs, fyi.I saw people with children there. I think they took them on walks, or on boar tours, or maybe even on kayaks. Some of the rooms are large and made for families. “Call for rates,” which my Google translate says means “Even more expensive.” Personally, I think Glacier National Park is less suited for the kiddos than Yellowstone, but that’s just me.A tip from The Gamer in our household: While there is “some” Wi-Fi, it’s unpredictable and only kinda works. So if your plan is to hand your kids a tablet and let them stay inside the hotel room while you watch clouds float over the mountains, your kids are probably going to walk out to your balcony vista within 90 seconds complaining that they can’t play any video games and nothing’s downloading. So download before you come to the park. Make sure they have games that can be played without Wi-Fi. This reminds me of something I heard a staffer say the first time I visited a few years back. They were balking at a guest who was perturbed due to (at the time) the total lack of wireless. “Look at those vistas. Do you really want an ugly cell tower blocking that view? If you’re coming here to stare at your phone, you’re coming here for the wrong reasons.” I see their point. A view of Grinnel Point, not far from our hotel room. This is why Many Glacier is one of my favorite hotels. __ATA.cmd.push(function() { __ATA.initDynamicSlot({ id: 'atatags-26942-60ec3fabd17d3', location: 120, formFactor: '001', label: { text: 'Advertisements', }, creative: { reportAd: { text: 'Report this ad', }, privacySettings: { text: 'Privacy', onClick: function() { window.__tcfapi && window.__tcfapi( 'showUi' ); }, } } }); });

A Moose Walks Into a Wedding…

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

My family is staying at Many Glacier Hotel in Glacier National Park. This is one of my favorite places I’ve ever visited. For the past two years, I’ve been quietly anticipating bringing my wife and son here, trying to not to oversell it or talk to much about it. It’s my second time here, and I’d come again and again if the opportunity came up. It’s that kind of place. Designed like a Swiss Mountain Lodge (complete with red door badges with little white crosses), Many Glacier sits across from Grinnel Point, one of the most eye-capturing spots in the national park.

When we arrived, there was a large wedding party. I think the wedding happened earlier that day before we arrived. It was really cool, though. The revelers were in great spirits, and they lent a festive mood to the hotel. After two long days of hauling halfway across the US, it was a good experience to enter into.

In the evening Mrs. Bad Ass and I bought some beverages (her, a Hefeweizen, and me, a Harvester, whatever that means – it was a beer and it tasted fine). I added a cheesecake with Huckleberry sauce because you Houston isn’t your huckleberry, to butcher a line from Doc Holliday. (The H in Houston being for humidity, heat, and hurricanes, not huckleberries!)

So, we’re drinking our beers and enjoying this glorious sunset cascading over the mountains. Off to the side, the wedding photographer is taking advantage of the golden hour, too, snapping photos of the bride and groom. We’re all watching this because why not? Love is a beautiful thing, right? One of the wedding revelers in the balcony above us shouts “Hey, there’s a moose!” As if on cue, from out of the woods behind the hotel saunters this colossal moose. She crosses right behind the bride, maybe within twenty feet of her while she’s taking photos. The moose is moving as if none of this matters. Moose don’t give a shit about social constructs like weddings, and they don’t care if they’re photobombing.

Now, there’s a few way this can play out. The bride could scream and run away, or she could throw her bouquet at the moose in self defense.

Everybody (us included) laughs, though, because the bride, a true nature lover, isn’t running or screaming or throwing things at the moose. She’s pivoting herself to get photos with the moose in the background as the photographer angles around her. At one point, as the moose nonchalantly crosses toward the lake, the bride lifts the hem of her white dress and runs down to the lakeside in hope of getting another dramatic photo. I’m sure it’ll be the kind of thing that their family will talk about for generations.

“Oh, your mother and I had a wedding for the ages. Your grandparents were there, your aunts and uncles were there, and so was a moose!”

Proof that moose attend weddings. The moose is along the tree line, walking down. The bride is posing for photos behind the bush. You can see a bit of her dress and head. I think she’s still looking at the lake at this point.

For all that we do in our lives, I think most people’s stories (meaning the story of their life) is boiled down to one story, one line, moment, one personality. The further back in generations, the less of a human being we become. We fade into anecdotes. It makes me wonder what our story will be, my wife and I. Will it be that we were loving parents, or will it be that we moved to Illinois and then Houston, or will it be something entirely different that I can’t think of? I don’t know, and ultimately, there isn’t a lot I can do about it. That’s perception.

And from a standpoint of story, will this anecdote become the story that my family passes on? That one day we watched a moose invade a wedding party? There are so many stories we inhabit in our lives as characters, and there are only so many that can be passed on. It’s like my life is one giant Netflix account, with so many stories, some long television shows, some comedy specials, and others adventure movies. And like with Netflix, you can’t watch it all. You pick what you like and you pass over the rest.

That seems fair. We can’t all have 1000-page memoirs, and even if we did, I think that wouldn’t cover it. It reminds me of that scene in the new Loki show where Loki is told to sign a stack of paper that looks about ten reams tall that documents everything he’s ever said. Ever.

But back to the moose. You will be happy to know that the moose walked along the shore until she found a spot where she chose to enter the frigid waters of Swiftcurrent Lake. She effortlessly crossed the lake (her head bobbing along), then exited, shaking herself off. The wedding party cheered every moment of this crossing. As word of the moose sighting spread through the lodge, people poured out for photo ops and selfies. Throughout it all, the moose didn’t care for our little doings. They were insignificant to her. The moose had a way about its movement that reminded me of something I read last night, a passage in Faulkner’s story, “Lion:”

“As though time were just something he walked through as he did in air, to age him no more than air did.” In a place that has to be booked a year in advance, where check-in and checkout and dining hours and quiet hours determine the direction of the day, time meant nothing to the moose.

We drove almost nineteen hours in two days to arrive at this spot where we could enjoy a moose moving as if time never existed. In the coming days, I’m going to try to be more like a moose and move from a point of expediency to a moose-like vacation mode.

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Very Quick Post: Don’t Visit Glacier National Park Yet (Updated: Yes, Visit)

I’m in the park, and we’re having a damn good time. But I wanted to write a quick post to cover a very key piece of information that Glacier National Park is not broadcasting well, one that will reduce headaches for a lot of people and Glacier National Park, too. Ignore all that nonsense about ticketed entry. It’s useless because the main exhibit, the big thing that everybody does at GNP is drive the Going-to-the-Sun Road. It’s closed between Avalanche Creek and Jackson Glacier, so you can’t visit Logan’s Pass, which is the point of driving Going-to-the-Sun. You can’t see Bird Woman Falls, either. For all intents and purposes, GOING TO THE SUN ROAD IS ESSENTIALLY CLOSED. Yes, you can still get to Avalanche Lake, and it is one of the great spectacles in our national parks. You can also see the “rainbow lake,” Lake MacDonald. It is awesome. But if you don’t like to hike (Avalanche Creek Trail is a challenging endurance race of a trail hiking experience), and you’re not big on sitting around a lake all day, you’re better off not coming to this side of Glacier. Many Glacier, St. Mary’s, and Two Medicine are your better option. But because Logan’s Pass is the big highlight of the Going-to-the-Sun Road and because that is what most people come here to do, I want to say again: GOING TO THE SUN ROAD IS ESSENTIALLY CLOSED.

For future visitors in July and August, go to the GNP website, click on Alerts. Scroll past the alerts. Toward the bottom of the page is a single line saying to click here for road closures. That little almost-footnote is maybe the most important page on the GNP website. Click there and check road closures. You want to make sure that Going to the Sun is open at Logan’s Pass. (Right now, it’s covered in snow.)

That is all. I’m going to get back to my vacationing.

Update 6/6/21, 10:15 MST: …and then I’m back! On a whim, Mrs. Bad Ass said, “Let’s see how far we can go over the pass.” We went. And we went. And the next thing I know, I’m looking at the visitor center for Logan’s Pass, and the lot is full of cars! Y’all, the park fully opened today!! It was the first day! I still think the park can better communicate when Logan’s Pass isn’t open. That feels like front page news, and I was seeing all these negative reviews for unfortunate visitors who worked so hard to get a pass, only to find out that it wouldn’t do what they wanted. But I’m glad it’s finally open and summer has come to GNP!

Now, back to some more chilling, but not in the meadows cause we saw three bears there tonight.

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Good Travels Day 3: New Gear, Old Town, and New Experiences

We were making up for time on the road yesterday. We started the morning in Albuquerque visiting Old Town. I’m used to seeing Old Town surrounded by giant crowds. The cool thing about being there on a Sunday morning is you can take your time and stand and look at things. None of the shops are open, but we weren’t feeling the shopping vibe. That’s something that comes from just having gone through a move. My wife has said she doesn’t want to bring anything home. I can bring some memento home, but my bar is set really high. I’m not looking for a knick-knack souvenir on the shelf. (Saying that means that’s probably what I’m bringing home, but I’m sticking to a high bar on this. It has to be really good!)

What do you think? Do you bring home souvenirs from your travels, and if you do, how do you decide what comes home? Do you go searching/shopping for these items, and how high is your bar?

The one photo I didn’t get was of a hummingbird. We were standing on the sidewalk and this giant hummingbird hovered overhead. It was like it was watching me. I pulled out my camera, and it buzzed off into the street, darting back and forth, hovering for a second, but always out of camera range. So I’m not posting the one photo with the dot that is the hummingbird, but rather I will share the experience of the elusive hummingbird.

The adobe walls, the vigas beams, and the terracotta pots. Hell, even the chili peppers hanging from the vigas. I’ve always loved southwestern architecture. Places like Old Town are an inspiration. Mrs. Bad Ass watches a couple of YouTube channels about updating/refurbishing old French Chateaus. I’ve said before that my version of it would be to in a place like this. I don’t have any of the know-how to do it, but I’d probably have the time of my life learning.

After Old Town, we visited Petroglyphs National Monument. We actually ended up walking a route I’ve visited before, but it was worth a second visit. I got to try out my new GoPro and learned a valuable lesson: if you mount it to the left side of your backpack, and all the vistas are on your right side, you’re getting nothing but views of flat desert wasteland.

The sun was our enemy, as it so often can be in the desert landscape. I grew up in Lubbock, so I’m used to a summer sun that hates you. That hatred was really something yesterday, though. I even found this jackrabbit smart enough to get out of the sun!

After the scorching, we ate at a bar and grill called Neighbors, then went to a sporting goods store to gear up. My wife needed hiking shoes, and I splurged sinc eit was Father’s Day and bought something I’ve wanted for a long time: a pair of Merrel Moab shoes. Light, waterproof, and not cheap! Living in Houston where water puddles and bayous abound, I never felt I’d get much use out of them. They’re really meant for dusty, trails (hence, “Moab,” right?). But with three weeks of dusty trails ahead of me, I finally took that dive and purchased the shoes. From the second I tried them on, they felt so comfortable on my feet, y’all! I love them!

We ate at Tomasita’s in Santa Fe (the food was good, but the service was honestly one of the worst I’ve experienced – hopefully when you visit, it goes better). Then we drove the scenic roads from Taos through the Carson National Forest and down in Eagle Nest. Man, I get why people love this place. For me, it’s as simple as it being in the 70s and dry, but not enough can said about going to sleep and then waking up to a mountain view.

Okay, that’s it for now. I feel there’s so much more I could have said, but it’s either do things or write about them, and I’m ready to go experience them. I hope you’re having a great summer!

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Good Travels Day 2: Sun and Sandia

The great thing about today is that, despite it being another day of travel, we didn’t run into any issues. We still find ourselves always asking this question of whether masks are required. Usually, they weren’t in Texas, but they were in New Mexico. New Mexico will fully open July 1. By then, we should be in Wyoming. But perhaps if we return this way on the return trip, there will be less concerns.

I want to make sure to say that whether a business requires or doesn’t require masks and social distancing does not bother me. I am happy to comply to their stipulations, which in turn are controlled by local governments. To not respect those laws is wrong. Wherever I go, I try to keep in mind that I am a guest there.

We drove into Albuquerque around 5pm. I can’t tell you how good it feels to be here. After two days on the road, we’re finally out of Texas. It means even more that it’s Albuquerque because of the Sandia Mountains. Up until then, from the moment we entered New Mexico, a good chunk of it looks a lot like West Texas. If not for the large “Jurassic Park” like sign spanning the road, you wouldn’t know you’d entered another state. It’s like that for HOURS. But then, about 20 minutes outside of Albuquerque, the mountains rise up tall and imposing. For the first time, these giant landmasses are so large that cloud shadows cannot cover them. In fact, they can cast their own shadows over the land. It’s pretty dramatic. And then on the other side of the mountains, the gates open up and there is ALB, all invitation. The people here are nice, the food is terrific, and the history rich. Fingers crossed, tomorrow we will do a bit of site-seeing and try to take it easy. We’ve had two rough days of driving into the sun. It’s time for a little rest.

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Good Travels Day One, and Already We’re Having Plot Twists

This is a quick note and an update. Today we began our trek to Montana. First stop is Cimarron, New Mexico, where we will be picking up my son on June 22. We left around 3/4pm, and we just got into our room in Wichita Falls. To be fair, we stopped to drop a couple boxes into storage, ate while rush hour passed, and then began the trek in earnest.

Mrs. Bad Ass and I get along, and we dig a lot of the same things, or at least, we dig them enough that we can ask questions and have an in-depth discussion. So we can talk about which is better, Downton Abbey or Outlander, and then which series makes better use of sex scenes, Game of Thrones or Outlander, and follow it all up with an alphabet game of bands (Alabama, All Star Rejects, Smashmouth, etc.). At one point I said Sugar Hill Gang, and my wife had to come up with a band that starts with G. Why I misheard “Starbitch” as Garbage, I don’t know. But instantly I can tell you that I love the name Starbitch, and why hasn’t anybody created this band? We’ve taken it upon ourselves to ask at the various places we are staying if Starbitch is playing in that town that night.

The evidence of the pandemic is everywhere. Most stores, even in tiny little Texas towns, request that we wear masks or at least social distance, even if the people behind the counter are not. That’s not a knock against anyone but rather a documentation of what we’re seeing. We stopped at this one little town so that I could go to the restroom. There was a McDonald’s. Unfortunately, the dining room was still closed, so we had to circumvent the fence to the gas station next door and use theirs.

Mrs. Bad Ass reserved us a room at the La Quinta in Wichita Falls. That was as far as we thought we could go in one day. We arrived at 12:30/12:40 in the morning. Since my wife had the information, she crawled out of the car and went to get our room set up. That’s when we learned that due to staffing issues, the La Quinta was not able to clean all the rooms, so they had no room for us. They will reimburse us, and they directed us to the Super 8. So now we are staying in a motel for $20 more because we didn’t pay in advance. Not much we can do about it at this point except go to sleep. I’m still up only because the AC isn’t on, so it’s probably an ERCOT-approved balmy 78-80 degrees in the room. Once it cools down, I will be able to get to sleep.

Aside from the heat, I wish I could say we shouldn’t have any more plot twists (which I think sounds better than obstacles or road bumps) in the vein of no hotel rooms due to understaffed hotels. I’ve heard of this problem before. I’m not sure what we can do to sidestep it. Maybe verify that the upcoming hotel has appropriate staffing? Either way, that is a problem for tomorrow. Right now I’m going to guzzle the coldest drink in our soft cooler and try to get some sleep. Good night from Wichita Falls, everyone!

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