Nancy Stohlman's Blog, page 61
August 4, 2017
Barbie Arm by Nancy Stohlman
Barbie Arm
When I woke up from surgery, groggy, head rolling, I had a Barbie arm. It had a round plastic shoulder in a smooth socket and a bright shiny plastic finish. The arm was bent at a 45 degree angle and came with a hole to hold a microphone or a cooking spoon or a wine glass.
I thought you were putting pins in my elbow I said to the doctor when he came to check on me.
We were, but your insurance only pays for 22 minutes of surgery and pins take about 38 so when we realized were weren’t going to make it we switched to Plan B he said. These are actually better in a lot of ways, since you wouldn’t get full range of motion anyway. He thumped my plastic, shiny bicep. These are durable as hell. Patients end up loving them.
My Barbie arm laid there at a funny angle. All the fingers were fused together and the tips of the nails were painted. When I tried to scratch my nose I could not.
I stayed there for a week but the doctor didn’t visit again and would not return my phone calls so I finally followed him to his car one evening. This isn’t working I said, my arm sticking out in an imposing manner. I need my old arm back.
Your old arm was already recycled, he said. They come on Tuesdays so if you could have told me sooner I could have salvaged it. Perhaps if you met the right partner it would make you feel better?
I’m already married.
Well that won’t last long, he said. Especially if that is your pleasure hand, if you know what I mean. He popped a lollipop in his mouth. I’m sure you do, he added. I’m sure you are very entertaining.
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July 28, 2017
Bending Genres Workshop in Santa Fe Sept 1-7
I will be making a cameo appearance in Santa Fe at Meg Tuite and Robert Vaughan‘s Bending Genres weeklong workshop! The workshop runs from Sept 1-7 and will be set in the gorgeous desert of New Mexico with up to 20 other writers. On Sunday, Sept 3, I will be available for 30-min private consultations about writing or sculpting flash fiction, publishing, creating collections…you choose. Official details coming but check out the whole week of workshops here and feel free to contact me to save a space.
nancystohlman@gmail.com
June 29, 2017
Beyond Academia Free Skool Opening Weekend!
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I’ll be teaching Introduction to Flash Fiction during the opening weekend and a follow up Sculpting Flash Fiction in Week Two.
Saturday, July 1, 2-5 pm
Boulder Creative Collective
2500 47th St, Boulder, Colorado 80301
Check out the entire lineup here
The Intro Weekend kicks off with:
June 30th, 6:30 on Pearl St. – POETS on PEARL:
Come and Read Richard Brautigan with us!
Hosted by Rob Geisen!
At Boulder Writers Warehouse:
July 1st, 10 am – 2 pm – You Talkin’ to Me!? taught by Clint A Locks
2 pm – 5 pm – Intro to Flash Fiction by Nancy Stohlman (Soft-Prerequisite to Nancy’s Editing Flash Fiction class during Camp)
July 2nd, 10 am – 1pm – Poetry Chop Shop 1 by Marcus If
2 pm – 5 pm – Workshop by Jack Collom
July 3rd, 2 pm – 5 pm – Women’s Voices by Pamela Twining
After the Boulder Intro Weekend, be sure to check out the rest of camp up in Nederland!
Check out the current Summer Poetry Camp Schedule here:
June 20, 2017
Poetry Party and The Art of Storytelling
Friday, June 23
DENVER
The Next Lit Fest: Poetry Party Night
10 pm
The Next Lit Fest is a weekend long event
with readings hosted by
Witch Craft Magazine & Sad Spell Press
Spy Kids Review & 2Fast2House
Maudlin House
Tenderness, Yea
Suspect Press
Gesture Press
Find out more at the Facebook event here
Saturday, June 24
DENVER
The Art of Storytelling
with Elwin Cotwin and Nancy Stohlman
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Saturday, June 24
3-5 pm
3801 E 40th Ave, Denver, Colorado 80205
Join Facebook event here:
Art of Storytelling Website
June 10, 2017
Sunday, June 11th: Jazz Brunch
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June 8, 2017
June 5, 2017
$20 Quick Edit is back!
(After a short hiatus to travel–I’m at my desk and available for quick edits again!)
Need a short, fast edit from a professional editor?
[image error]The $20 Quick Edit is perfect for flash fiction,short stories, query letters, articles or the opening pages of a longer work. It’s also a great way to test out the services of a professional editor before submitting an entire manuscript.
Send up to 1000 words in a word doc attachment to nancystohlman@gmail.com
Make payment using payment button below.
72-hour turnaround time guaranteed!
Contact me with questions or use the form below.
Ready?
May 30, 2017
June 11: Vintage Jazz Brunch
Sunday, June 11, 2017
10:30-1:30
La Cour Art Bar
1643 S. Broadway
Denver, CO 80210
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Best known for their popular lounge act Kinky Mink, this duo serves up sultry, swanky jazz classics along with their unique brand of modern and original music. Inspired by iconic American musical culture in the tradition of Marilyn Monroe and the Rat Pack to The Fabulous Baker Boys and Jessica Rabbit, sparkling elegance and fun is their trademark
Click here to listen to a preview on La Cour’s website
May 19, 2017
Journey to Planet Write: Happy Endings
(This is the final installment of Gay Degani’s wonderful series “Journey to Planet Write”, which she has been hosting for 2 years. An excerpt is below; to read the entire article, go here.
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
Journey to Planet Write: Happy Endings
by Nancy Stohlman
I asked Gay Degani if I could have the final slot in Journey to Planet Write series for two 
reasons—one, because I want to properly thank her on behalf of everyone who has appeared in and enjoyed this series. Gay has done an incredible service to our community and created a space where we can all shine. We are grateful to you, Gay!
But there is a second reason. Exactly one year ago I was scheduled to appear in this column when a drunk driver going 90 mph crossed the median on the highway and made other plans for me.
Instead of my Journey to Planet Write, you got my “Interrupted Journey,” a beautiful tribute that Gay and others put together. It meant a lot to me to feel so loved during that process of shock and recovery and now, one year later, it seemed important to not only bring it all full circle and give you that column that never was, but also to end this Planet Write journey on a note of celebration, healing, and hope.
I was 9 years old, living on a military base in Zaragoza, Spain, when I told my mom I wanted to be an author. I wrote my first creation, “Superman: The Musical”, on my mother’s electric typewriter, loving the clack of the keys and the feeling that I was doing something important. Though I attempted to cast it from my class of fellow fifth graders and rehearse in the carport, the musical (including numbers like Lex Luthor’s “I’ll Rule the World”) never made it to the stage, but my confidence in myself as a creative was born.
That same year I discovered the library, and on Saturdays I would volunteer at the check-out desk, stamping people’s due dates. Being a military family we moved a lot, so books became my friends. Nancy Drew was always waiting for me in every library from Spain to Germany to Omaha. Books were a constant in a world that was constantly changing.
Later, when life got harder, books became a way to disassociate; I could leave my body in the midst of everyday reality, escape family meltdowns and divorces and worlds I didn’t want to be in. In college, I read in the dressing rooms of go-go clubs, getting throughEast of Eden and The Trial while other girls were giving lap dances.
After I dropped out of college, I started traveling the country with the Renaissance Fair, living in a van, putting on a bodice and an English accent to sell turkey legs and pewter goblets. I discovered lyrical songwriters like Bob Dylan and Tom Waits and I started journaling regularly with the idea that these were adventures I would want to remember and maybe someday write a book. Sadly most of those journals are gone. But when I eventually got off the road and moved to Denver to finish college, I did so as a writer.
This story is true. But it’s not the whole story.My upbringing taught me two very different things: My military father taught me self-discipline. My artist mother taught me that making art is worthwhile. This combination has enabled to become a rare breed: a disciplined creative.
This story is true. But it’s not the whole story.
Keep reading here:
(Photo credit Lynn Hough)
May 2, 2017
“Clown Car” in Funny Bone Anthology
Clown Car
by Nancy Stohlman
I waited on the side of the highway. There were very few cars passing at this time in the evening and the ones that did switched to the far lane. I was afraid I might be sleeping in the bushes when a car came very slowly, headlights already on, and coasted to stop in front of me.
I jogged over not too fast not too slow. I saw the window being hand cranked down—the red nose barely visible in the darkening light. Do you have a lot of stuff? he asked.
Just this, I said, holding up my duffel.
Great he said. Squeeze in wherever you can.
The car smelled like rubber and greasepaint and I squeezed in between two giant sets of feet, a hairy man clown dressed in a diaper, and a mime clown. I could not see out the window at all.
We’re planning to drive through the night, the driver clown said, so we’ll take turns in the sleeping positions. Ever hour someone else has to be in the upside down position because Marty needs a break. And no tricks on the driver.
We puttered through the night that way. Just before dawn I was in one of the sitting up positions watching the way the night lightened until a seam of orange creased the horizon. A golden ball crowned and the morning sky turned rose.
Ah, sighed the clown sitting in my lap, smiling as the sun filled his eyes.
Check out stories from authors: Steve Almond, Alan Beard, Paul Blaney, Randall Brown, Mark Budman, Jonathan Cardew, Peter Cherches, Kim Chinquee, Sarah-Clare Conlon, Steve Cushman, Jon Davis, Lydia Davis, Wayne Dean-Richards, Roddy Doyle, Grant Faulkner, Avital Gad-Cykman, David Gaffney, Vanessa Gebbie, Ihab Hassan, Tom Hazuka, Kyle Hemmings, Tania Hershman, David Higgins, Allan Kolski Horwitz, Holly Howitt, Paul Kavanagh, Calum Kerr, Steve Kissing, Tara Laskowski, Michael Loveday, Sean Lovelace, Bernard MacLaverty, Paul McDonald, Kobus Moolman, Sally-Ann Murray, Nuala O’Connor, Pamela Painter, Nick Parker, Nik Perring, Jonathan Pinnock, Meg Pokrass, Pedro Ponce, Bruce Holland Rogers, Ethel Rohan, Katey Schultz, Robert Scotellaro, Ian Seed, Gemma Seltzer, Ana María Shua, Christine Simon, David Steward, Nancy Stohlman, David Swann, Matt Thorne, Kevin Tosca, Meg Tuite, Emily Vanderploeg, Gee Williams, Jeremy Worman, Shellie Zacharia.
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