Les Edgerton's Blog, page 19

The Bitch gets censored...

Hi folks,
Just an upfront about what you’ll read—I’m smokin’ hot, pissed off beyond belief, and there will be curse words as you read.
A reviewer--whom I won’t name as none of what happened is her fault in the least—just told me some disturbing news. This person, who very graciously gave my novel, THE BITCH, a great review, emailed me to tell me that she was very sorry but that the newspapers who regularly published her book reviews wouldn’t because of the word “bitch” in the title.


If this wasn’t so sad and even dangerous to our freedoms, it would be laughable. But, I can’t see anything humorous in it at all.
First, the title—THE BITCH—isn’t employed here as the pejorative term commonly used to denigrate women. It’s not even the term when used to describe a female dog. It simply refers to the term ex-cons use when describing the “three strikes and you’re out, ha-BITCH-ual criminal law” where an ex-felon, upon receiving a third felony conviction can be sentenced for up to life imprisonment for that conviction. That’s it. It has nothing to do with women or dogs. It has everything to do with our judicial system…
It’s a title that perfectly describes the story. It’s about an ex-con with two former convictions who’s been put on the spot by a former cellmate to do him a favor—a favor he owes because the guy saved his life back in the joint—and one that, if he’s caught doing it, will result in receiving life in prison, courtesy of “the bitch.” That’s it.
Turns out this word is on newspapers’ hit list of words they won’t print or publish. Except… that doesn’t seem to be entirely true. Daily, I get a list of articles from Google for the words “the bitch” hoping to discover perhaps an article or review of my novel I hadn’t seen. So far, haven’t been sent any for the novel—but, every single day I get a list of ten or more newspaper and other articles about rappers and rap songs and actors/actresses who use the words in songs and other material, often calling each other by this term in catfights on Hollywood Boulevard. My take is that it’s only writers who are using the word in an entirely different context and a totally different meaning that get censored. Guess I shoulda been a rapper or an actress who calls another rapper or actress this—that seems to be okay…
I’d like to send these newspaper geniuses and the rest of the nanny state personnel a copy of George Carlin’s famous bit on words and also a copy of George Orwell’s “1984.” Although, I don’t think it would matter to any of them. I don’t think they have the sense God gave a gnat to get in out of the rain. They certainly don’t think much of freedom of thought or freedom of speech. That’s patently obvious, at least to me. If newspapers ever think about why nobody reads ‘em any more, I might have a clue for them…
I wonder if I wrote a book on female dogs and their care and training, how I’d title that? Sure don’t want the censors after me about my little tome on my cuddly book on Lassie and Timmy…
I wonder what other words are on their censorship lists. Do you suppose “bastard” might be on there? After all, that’s the companion word to “bitch” isn’t it? One’s male, the other’s usually applied to a female. How on earth did the book, BASTARD OUT OF CAROLINA ever get talked about in newspapers? Or… is it possible, pejorative words about males aren’t seen to be as evil as those about females? Naw… that would make that a sexist thing wouldn’t it?
My friend, Liam Sweeny, suggested I “change my cover, put a dog nursing her puppies on it,” and I hope he was just trying to be funny. I’m pretty sure he was—Liam doesn’t tolerate idiots any more than I do (sorry, is “idiots” a banned word? Probably… change that to “mentally challenged and prevented from possessing common sense”…). Well, I told him there was no way I was caving in or catering to these morons—my exact words were, “Not changing a thing—fuck ‘em!”
I don’t know what I think I’ll accomplish by posting this. I’m just royally and fucking mad and deeply saddened by the PC idiocy that’s running rampant in our country and destroying the freedoms we used to cherish. Newspapers are supposed to be one of our last bastions of freedom of thought and expression and it’s obvious they’ve abdicated the last vestiges of this. If this doesn’t frighten people I don’t know what ever will.
So, I know that my novel won’t get any newspaper play. Hope you’ll read it and if you like it recommend it to a friend. Just be careful not to let the censors who seem to be among us hear you… it’s for sure no newspaper is going to publicize any arrests by the Thought Police over this. They’d be forced to use the title in the copy…
Maybe I’ll get a rapper to rap about it and hold up a copy in the video…
I’m going to protest by not buying a newspaper today. Oh, wait… I did that yesterday. And yesterday and the day before that and… didn’t work then and probably won’t work now…
What do y’all think about this? No big deal? Big deal? What would you do if it happened to your book? Kowtow and avoid anything in your writing that might be controversial? I don’t think that will happen to the writers I know… Maybe I should have cleared the title with Pravda? If anyone knows how to fight something like this, please let me know.
Fuck ‘em. Censor that, shitheads.
Blue skies,Les

ALLIGATORS AND CROCODILES ON TV

THE INSIDE STORY ON CROCODILES, ALLIGATORS AND THE TV GUYS WHO RASSLE ‘EM


Hi folks,
If you’re like me and are forced to stay indoors during the daytime and pretend to be a writer, staring out the window at your neighbor’s above-ground pool all day begins to get a bit boring. So, I imagine you’re also like me and put a TV on a table in your writing room where you can look at it occasionally while you whip out your next best-selling novel about meth-crazed minor criminals with hearts of gold.
And, if you’re like me, you start noticing that besides things like the Jerry Springer Show, and CNN (which are basically the same show with different sponsors), there are an awful lot of programs starring alligators and steely-eyed men who search them out to wrestle.
One of the things you may notice is that there are a lot less episodes these days of Mr. Steve Irwin and a lot more of the Gator Boys. After watching a few dozen episodes of each, it’s easy to see why. Besides the fact that Steve Irwin is no longer with us in the flesh, having shuffled off his mortal coil for the heavenly site of Crocodile Paradise (somewhere near Ayre's Rock).
No, it’s because of something entirely different. If you’ll notice, much of the footage of Steve-O subduing crocodiles, took place at his zoo in Australia. They seem to be constantly moving the same alligator to another enclosed cement pond. This poor croc has accumulated more Frequent Mover miles than Hillary Clinton. He’s always being transported to somewhere else, usually because he’s beating up his companion croc. You’d think after awhile, Steve and his crew would catch on that this guy is just plain anti-social and just put him in his own place, but no, every week or so, they find out he’s chewing up his pond mate so they have to gather the crew and a bunch of cameras and move him again.
And, this is why his shows are shown less and less. The first thing he does, is let the audience know just how ferocious these beasts are! Besides the usual warning to “Don't try this at home” (which doesn’t apply to most of the audience who live in non-crocodile or alligator locales and many of those watching have I.Q.s higher than 43 so, while they may vote, they're not prone to rush out and hang a chokehold on a gator), he goes on at length to illustrate just how deadly these beasts are. At this point in time, we’ve seen him feed roughly 263,000 dead chickens to his crocs. It’s pretty much the same each time. He lets us all know that he’s about the only guy in history to ever dare get this close to these killers and then he stands at the edge of the pond and waves a chicken at them. Eventually, they get curious about the guy waving the chicken and are probably hungry on top of it, and they scoot out and lunge at the chicken and snag onto it. Back in the water they go, until the 2:45 show. The fact that they have really short legs and can only lunge about eight inches and that usually tires 'em out, isn't often brought up.
We were pretty well convinced that ol’ Steve-O was pretty much a man’s man, doing all this risky stuff and then this other show came on. The Gator Boys.
This show featured an alpha male and his portly sidekick with a safari hat. Recently, they’ve added a third to the crew, the portly sidekick’s portly girlfriend. She’s the one without a hat.
If you have one of those TVs where you can show two shows side-by-side, take a representative clip from each show and play them simultaneously and you’ll soon see why the Gator Boys and One Dudess have taken the glory away from Steve-O.
When Steve gets ready to capture and remove the bad gator, he gathers his entire crew of 23 people and they all gather around the gator. At his signal, they all jump on the poor creature, covering every square inch of his body so the poor cameraman has no shot of the animal itself and instead, is forced to provide shots of dozens of writhing arms and legs of folks who are smothering the poor gator who has to be wondering what he did to make so many people want to crush him when all he wanted was a couple of drumsticks and a thigh and maybe a scoop of potato salad. All the while guys are leaping onto parts of the gator, Steve-O is yelling about how dangerous all this is and directing each crew member to their six square inches they're to cover. His wife has taken part in the later episodes, and Steve is no male chauvinist pig—not he. She gets to take part in the “capture” herself, usually by taping the croc’s mouth shut while fourteen of the crew hold his jaws shut. Then, once bound by six hundred dollars worth of duct tape and ropes, it takes all 23 of the crew to pick the animal up and carry it to the fence and hoist it over. This feat takes great engineering skill to supervise and all the while we’re told how extremely dangerous this beast is, even though he’s tied up like the Stockholm Syndrome poster girl and how one single misstep could mean certain death for… well, one of the 23 who doesn’t jump back quickly enough should he get loose and go after someone with his bound mouth…
Meanwhile, on your other screen, watch the Gator Boys Plus One Girl in action. The portly one mostly stands on the shore of the lake or pond or swamp, his job to provide commentary on how dangerous all this is to the viewer and the ten-year-old daughter of the pond owner who has obviously been coached by the director to look afraid, but isn't that good of an actress and mostly giggles.
Then, the alpha male shucks his clothes down to his bathing suit and just jumps into the water with one of those sticks with a loop on the end that dog catchers use to snag runaway killer Pekineses with. He swims underwater (being filmed by a defenseless cameraman who doesn’t get enough props at all) until he locates the gator. This takes awhile, as the action keeps shifting back and forth from under the water to the portly guy on the bank who keeps watching alpha male’s bubbles and frets that his buddy may be in trouble since he’s been down there so long. (He never mentions the cameraman who’s been down there just as long and doesn't have a stick with a rope on it.)
Eventually, though, alpha man makes his move, snags the gator and swims him to the edge, handing off the stick to his chunky friend, who then pulls him up. At that point, they take turns walking around the animal to tire him out, and then one of them jumps on him and the other one tapes his mouth shut. (The gator, not the guy, although that's not a bad idea. Maybe tape the portly guy's mouth so we don't have to hear him telling his girlfriend for the 9,023rd time why she can't do this highly dangerous work just yet.) Then, one of them picks up the gator and walks him to the truck. Sometimes, if the animal is say 32 feet long, it’ll take both of them to pick him up, but usually it’s a one-man job. The girl opens the tailgate.
The thing is, though… they didn’t need 23 others to effect this capture. They only needed two guys and a girl who keeps begging to let her in on the fun (which they never do because… well, you know… she’s a girl).
The thing is, the Gator Boys have pretty much revealed that crocs and gators aren’t all that big of a deal to catch. It’s pretty clear it doesn’t require a team of 23 beefy guys to do so.
And, that’s why Steve-O’s show isn’t on that much these days.
I fully anticipate that in the next year or two, a new show will appear with a ten-year-old girl who hunts gator armed only with a mouthful of Juicy Fruit gum and the mystical ability to sooth gators by patting them on the head—the first “Gator Whisperer.” Then, the Gator Boys Plus One Girl will be what we in the writing game call… ancient history.
We’ll see… Meanwhile, keep tuned as next week we’re going to reveal the real reason meth-head low-life criminals are appearing all over the place in bestselling novels. You won’t want to miss that!

Or maybe we'll comment on the Turtle Man who also has a portly sidekick and an accent eerily similar to most of the pilots we've encountered on large planes.We'll go over exciting episodes wherein he grabs feisty racoons by their tails and threatens to turn 'em into hats for ten-year-old boys (who are the basic demographic of his audience). He is amassing a quiet fortune with all the apple pies and boxes of government cheese he's paid with.
Blue skies,Les

The Bitch by Les Edgerton

The Bitch by Les Edgerton
Review by Elizabeth White - just click on the link above please.



This wonderful review just came out from Elizabeth White. One of her reviews is pure gold. One of the best reviewers in the business! This really made my day.

Hope you enjoy her take on it. She absolutely gets what I was trying to do with this novel.

Blue skies,
Les

Guest post for Anonymous 9...

Hi folks,

Just a heads-up that I'm over on Anonymous 9's blog where I was invited to weigh in with my opinion on MFA degrees. The discussion's heating up if you want to drive by for a looksee at the dead bodies...

At: https://ashedit.wordpress.com/2015/07...



Blue skies,
Les

Great new novel by Earl Javorsky!

Hi folks,
I want to introduce you to a writer you may not be aware of yet… but should be! I just finished reading his second novel and it’s just one terrific read! Here’s my review:
Earl Javorsky’s Trust Me.


To use an apt baseball analogy, Earl Javorsky has just performed the equivalent of hitting home runs in his first two at-bats in the majors. Down Solo cleared the left field fence and his newest effort, Trust Me has just landed in the upper deck in center field.
If you like your thrillers filled with both nonstop action and twist after psychological twist, this is the one for you. Javorsky has a decided talent for delivering stories that work on many, many levels—this is a deep, complex work of art that will resonate with you long after you finish the read. It will have you looking at newspaper headlines wondering if life is imitating art when you read of a suicide.
Just dang good writing of the first order!

Grab a copy today! Just don’t start reading it at night if you have to get up early in the ayem…
Blue skies,Les

P.S. Here's Earl's first novel, DOWN SOLO. It's another winner!

 

BLACK HEART MAGAZINE INTERVIEW

Hi folks,

Here's an interview I was privileged to participate in with Laura Roberts for Black Heart Magazine.



Black Heart Magazine The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping: An interview with Les EdgertonFebruary 16, 2015 · by Laura Roberts · in Interviews Les Edgerton is the author of  The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping , a black comedy crime caper published by Down&Out Books – among many others. We recently had a chance to ask him a few questions about his literary influences and inspirations, as well as his advice on writing and life. Here’s what he had to say.
Who are your top 5 favorite authors or influences?
This is a tough one! I have literally dozens and dozens of favorite authors and influences. I’ll try to narrow it down.
Harry CrewsAlbert CamusElmore LeonardCharles BukowskiCormac McCarthyWhat type of writing fuel do you prefer, and what – if anything – do you feel this contributes to your creative process?
I used to drink while writing—usually Jack Daniels—and then discovered that that feeling that liquor allowed me to write “better” was a totally false feeling and that the opposite happened. Nowadays, if I have a drink, I know I’m done writing for the day. However, I drink prodigious amounts of coffee all day long. Probably 9-10 cups a day and strong coffee. When I get coffee from a coffee shop, my choice is triple lattés.
What inspired you to write your latest book?
I have to have an idea gestate for many years before I write it. At any time, I have up to ten novel ideas percolating. I know it’s time to write the book when I begin dreaming about it asleep and thinking about it constantly while awake. While I’ve had a couple of books published after The Bitch , that was the last one I wrote and it was based on my prison experiences and that old “what if” question writers continually ask ourselves. The title doesn’t refer to a woman or a female dog—it’s the term we ex-cons use for the federal law, the “three strikes and you’re out” ha-bitch-ualcriminal law, where the judge can give you up to life for a third felony conviction. People sometimes don’t realize how a life can be ruined with just one wrong turn made from a place of loyalty, and that’s what happens to Jake. He delivers a favor he owes and things begin to go hinky quickly.
Pirates or ninjas, and why?
Not quite sure what ninjas are—some kind of oriental martial artists, right? Those ten guys all dressed in black who leap around fighting the good guy… one at a time? Kind of dumb, it seems to me, so, I guess… pirates.
Give us one piece of sage advice on writing, relationships, or life in general.
I’ll pass on the advice I gave my son Mike when he became a teenager on how to have a successful life: Never date a girl named after a day of the week, and never play poker with a guy named after a city. Follow those two precepts and you’ll probably have a smooth life. As far as writing advice, I’ll echo Jim Harrison’s advice when he said if one hoped to become a good writer, they “should read the whole of Western literature for the past four hundred years… and if time permits, the same period of Eastern literature. For, if one doesn’t know what passed for good in the past, they won’t know what passes for good now.” Pretty sound advice, methinks…
If you were a cocktail, what would you be called, and what’s the recipe?
Not a cocktail drinker, unless Jack and water is a cocktail and the recipe is in the name.
If you were to pen the screenplay for the next summer blockbuster, what would it be about – and who would you want to see in the starring role?
Actually, I have written the script that would accomplish that—my screenplay adapted from my novel, The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping—it’s available, should some savvy producer want it… and the lead should be Woody Harrelson.
If you were to write an open letter to a famous author (living or dead), who would it be, and what would it say?
It would be to Harry Crews and I’d just ask him to have drinks with me in a bucket o’ blood somewhere and talk about anything he wants to.
Where can we find you on a typical Friday night, and what kind of trouble are you getting into there?
Well, it would be at my desk writing. It’s where I spend virtually every day and every night, seven days a week. My days of getting into trouble are behind me so… nothing to see here, folks—move along…
What are you currently working on, and why does it kick ass?
Just began a new novel along the lines of The Rapist , featuring the same protagonist. It’s not a sequel—more like a companion novel. It kicks ass because it’ll make readers uncomfortable. Hopefully. I’ve been amazed for a long, long time about the question of God and eternity and mostly at how for millennia, we accept the sketchy and limited idea of what heaven is, in our Western culture. For instance, in all the artist’s pictures and novels and books written, we just keep parroting this really insane physical picture of heaven. It seems to usually be fairly sparsely settled, for just one for instance. Well, if there is a heaven, we’ve had many, many billions of people live and die on earth, so it should be asshole to elbow crowded, right? For instance, if you were sitting there, surrounded by billions and billions of people, there would constantly be dead folks arriving. Over here pops up a dead baby, over there twenty souls killed in a school shooting, over there a military unit wiped out by mortar fire, in your lap two thousand victims of a plague… and so on. There would have to constantly be a population in flux, with recently expired souls popping up all around you. But, that kind of thing never seems to occur to those who describe heaven. Or hell. Same deal. I think our entire vision of what heaven and hell are are really twisted and it’s like no one’s ever challenged any of this stuff. This novel will… I have literally hundreds of questions my protagonist will pursue the answers to like this. I’m really excited about writing it and I fully expect to go stark raving nuts when I finish it.
Do you have any talismans, charms, superstitions or music that inspires or helps you to write, and what’s the story behind them?
No to most of those. However, I do use music often. In one of my craft books, I talk about that and give a list of a bunch of my stories where I name the song I had playing while writing them. I think music is a very powerful stimulus and use it often to evoke the tone and mood I want for the story. I write mostly very dark fiction and C&W music—not the modern stuff, but the old-time C&W—can really create a dark mood. It’s mostly about cheating wives and husbands, getting drunk and wrecking your car and dying, and about fighting, fornicating, and fooling people (the Three F’s…) and that’s all the stuff of fiction. Jazz is another great choice. I’ve written countless short stories and at least a couple of novels with Miles Davis’ “Concierto de Ajuarez” cut on his Sketches of Spain album. It’s a fantastic mood creator, at least for me.
What’s your exercise or sport of choice when getting out from behind the desk?
Being a professional writer, I very, very rarely get out from behind the desk. Being in my seventies, the closest I get to sports is watching it on TV. I do often perform wrist curls with cans of Budweiser when I’m done writing for the day. Does that count?
For more from Les, find him on Facebook, Twitter, and check out his blog at lesedgertononwriting.blogspot.com.

BIG, MONDO SALE ON THE GENUINE, IMITATION, PLASTIC KIDNAPPING!

Hi folks,
I’d like to announce a BIG, MONDO SALE for the next four days (beginning tonight at 11 pm) for the ebook version of my latest novel, THE GENUINE, IMITATION, PLASTIC KIDNAPPING from Down&Out Books.


Here are the details:
July 8 @ 11 pm the price goes to 99 cents
July 10 @ 7 am the price goes to $1.99
July 11 @ 3 pm the price goes to $2.99
July 12 @ 11 pm the price goes back to $4.99

Here’s what other writers have to say about it:

“The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping is a dark crime comedy that will have you laughing from page one. It crackles with manic energy and mad thrills. If you’re looking for a different kind of edgy crime novel, this is the one to grab.” —Bill Crider, author of the Sheriff Dan Rhodes Mysteries
“Les Edgerton serves up a gumbo of sexual deviants, small time hustlers, and serious criminals in a caper that reads like a deranged Damon Runyon tale relocated from Broadway to the French Quarter. The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnaping is not for the faint of heart, and that’s just one of its selling points. If you like crime fiction that cracks wise while offering a peek into the darker recesses, this is the book for you.” —Bill Fitzhugh, author of the best-selling novel Pest Control and The Exterminators
“The most unrepentantly funny crime caper you’ll ever find between the pages of a book. Elmore Leonard, eat your heart out!” —Maegan Beaumont, author of Carved in Darkness
“What makes this wild, wild tale so intriguing is the sense that it must be drawing on first-hand knowledge. Edgerton’s sympathetic tough guy narrator gives you an authentic-feeling glimpse into the unique logic of small time hustlers and born losers, with echoes of Ring Lardner and snatches of slam poetry frequently catching you by surprise and making it that much more enjoyable.” —Matthew Louis, founding editor of Gutter Books and author of The Wrong Man and Collision Cocktail
“Masquerading as a novel, Les Edgerton’s newest gem—The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping—is really a debauched weekend in steamy New Orleans, loaded with alcohol, drugs, whores, pistols, and a menacing bookie, all available for your personal and private entertainment between the covers. Narrator Pete Halliday—ex-con, gambler, boozer, ex-baseball pitcher and unwise wiseass—takes us places most don’t really want to go, only to have the time of our lives when we get there. Listen to him: ‘Coming into New Orleans, you could smell it. First day out of jail after thirty days, you could really smell it. Hot and sexy, a couple hundred thousand red hot little mamas, stepping out of steamy baths and showers, their skin sticky from the heat, getting ready for Saturday night...’ Every pitch Pete throws is a hair-raising thrill, a belly laugh or a clue to the wicked and violent puzzle that hangs over his New Orleans adventure. You know someone has to die.” —Jack Getze, Fiction Editor, Spinetingler Magazine
“There are two certainties when reading anything written by Les Edgerton. First you’ll get gritty, hard hitting noir straight out the top drawer that’ll leave you punch drunk on the floor. Second is it’ll be like nothing you’ve ever picked up before. The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping is no exception. Expect the unexpected. Read it, love it.”
Pete Halliday’s gambling addiction costs him dear – his baseball career is over. So Halliday heads to New Orleans to find his fortune, hustling. But five years later he’s failed again and is in debt to a bookie and in deep with Tommy LeClerc, a man with a pool of luck as shallow as Halliday’s.

LeClerc comes up with another can’t lose scam, to kidnap the Cajun Mafia King and hold him for ransom. To demonstrate they’re serious LeClerc says the King’s amputated hand will be the proof they need to get a sack of cash. Halliday wants out of the seamier side of life so he can open a restaurant.

But as the payoff comes in Halliday is double crossed by LeClerc. Halliday has to run for his life as the mob chases him and his girlfriend, hooker and waitress Cat Duplaisir, wanting their money returned and to deliver a whole heap of revenge.

There’s a large degree of ying and yang in Les Edgerton’s stories – the known mixed in with the unexpected and Plastic… is no exception to the rule.

I’ve previously reviewed a number of Edgerton’s novels including Just Like That, The Rapist and The Bitch. As you may guess from the titles alone the author isn’t afraid to make a point. They are typically noir in nature and heavy on crime (big, smiley face from this reviewer). They’re blunt, yet subtle. And there’s no glamourizing the crime either, in fact quite the opposite. But with each work the author throws a curve ball at the reader – these are by no means your usual crime fare.

Plastic… fits into this mould, but Edgerton has produced a rip-roaring story of back stabbing and screw ups laced with plenty of black humour - Halliday couldn’t make more mistakes if he tried his damndest. And because the novel is written in the first person with Halliday in the driving seat we really see what the narrator has thrown away and continues to do so. The guy just can’t help himself. With the kidnap of The King and LeClerc’s subsequent betrayal it seems like Halliday has reached the end of the road.

The characterization in Edgerton’s novels are always strong. Halliday, and in particular Cat, are excellent. But the supporting cast are in there too, holding up their end. The author, an ex-con, often draws on personal experience (read Just Like That if you don’t believe me) which gives an extra level of reality to events. As Halliday blunders through the novel by turns I winced and laughed out loud. As usual the author has produced some writing that’s a little bit different to the rest of us.—Keith Nixon, The Fix
“There’s nothing fake about The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping. Les Edgerton’s latest book is the real deal, and has everything to keep you turning the pages. It’s a caper, full of fun and high-jinx, but it’s also bitter-sweet, engendering a full range of emotions. You’ll smile, you’ll wince, you’ll laugh out loud, and sometimes you’ll even cringe, but you’ll come away from the read feeling thoroughly satisfied and entertained. A terrific read.” —Matt Hilton, author of the best-selling Joe Hunter thrillers
“When it comes to writing crime stories, Les Edgerton can do pretty much it all, and The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping finds him in a mood to have fun. This book is like a raucous party for crime fiction lovers, complete with goons, guns, and schemes-within-schemes. Best of all, the comic voice of its ne’er-do-well narrator is a pleasure from start to finish.” —Jake Hinkson, author of Hell On Church Street and The Posthumous Man
“You’re in for some twisted laughs as one of crime fiction’s most authentic voices takes on dark humor. In The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping, Les Edgerton finds every line that oughtn’t be crossed and drags his characters back and forth ’til it’s blurred. You may want to reach in and give his criminal hero a shake, except you’re bound to be aching to see what kind of trouble he can create next. Humor is human, the blacker the better, and Edgerton serves it up nasty and raw!” —Rob Brunet, author of Stinking Rich
“The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping is like the fever-dream of a two-bit conman who fancies himself a criminal genius. Add in some seedy and saucy New Orleans locales and you’ve got a gumbo of freaky sex, covert mob men and botched amputations. This the most havoc ever wrought in one man’s quest for a measly ol’ po’ boy shop, and a creole crime caper you won’t want to miss.” —Nik Korpon, author of Fait Ave and Stay God, Sweet Angel
“Imagine Les Edgerton’s writing. Dark, despairing noir. Habitual criminals. Rapists. This is nothing like that. : Edgerton takes a break from The Bitch and The Rapist to exercise his inner Westlake. A ‘no holds barred’ and ‘What else can go wrong’ caper with even more laughs than plot twists. The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping has a plot John Dortmunder would have trouble negotiating, and Edgerton milks it for all it’s worth. Not for the faint of heart, the crime that really sets the story off involved kidnapping a gangster—no, I can’t do it. I don’t want to spoil even that much. Suffice to say kidnapping, sexual fetishes, forced amputation, Tourette’s syndrome, certain death, and one-way tickets to Skagway, AK are all played for laughs, and he pulls it off. Big fun. My daughter described the movie Ted as “Really funny and wildly inappropriate.” It’s like that. —Dana King, author Grind Jointand A Small Sacrifice
“The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping is a steamy caper novel that reads like an arm wrestling match between Ring Lardner and Quentin Tarantino, while James Lee Burke takes bets on the outcome. I only stopped laughing to flinch occasionally. A terrific novel, for the strong of heart—and funny bone.”—Warren Moore III, author Broken Glass Waltzes
“A hard-driving, relentless story with grab-you-by-the-throat characters.”—Grant Blackwood, New York Times bestselling author
“There is nothing quite like reading a Les Edgerton novel. His voice crackles with a lifelike intensity. The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping is the most incredible, entertaining and detailed bar story you've ever heard. Reading it, you can't shake that feeling that you've living a special, unique moment where anything is possible, like that night at the bar.”—Benoît Lelièvre, www.deadendfollies.com
I know I'm late for the party reviewing this one. But that's just me. What you need to know is this; when Les writes a story, any story, you're instantly swept up into a world that engulfs you . . . absorbs you . . . into a sensual assult that leaves you speechless. In this one you get the full gamut. Baseball, New Orleans down at its gritiest, back street wonders, sleazy (and not so bright) hoodlums. And a wise ass loser just smart enough to know better, but not gifted with the ability to say "No!" at any time in his life.

Les' writing is three demensional. You do not just read words. You feel . . . taste . . . see things from a prespective few human beings have had the pleasure (or maybe, the bad luck) of experiencing first hand. That, boys and girls, is the mark of a GREAT writer. And yes; just to answer your question, I'm jealous.—B.R. Stateham, A Killing Kiss, Tough Guys
When you can turn a forced amputation into one of the most hilarious scenes I've ever read, you've really pulled off something good.—Benjamin Sobieck, The Writer’s Guide to Weapons
If you like Hunter Thompson, you will love Les Edgerton. The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping is a rough and tumble romp through New Orleans like none that you have had or will ever have. Take a ex-ballplayer, an Indian, and a hooker with a heart of gold (and the balls to prove it), mix with the swamps of Louisiana, gangsters, politicians, and drugs and well . . . what more can you expect? Edgerton's phrasing is excellent, the tone tough, and the humor is so Southern. It's all about the kidnapping and how it went so wrong.—Gregory C. Randall, Chicago Swing: A Tony Alfano Thriller
The Genuine, Imitation, Plastic Kidnapping is a rollicking comedy crime caper in which the protagonist Pete--a former baseball player turned con man--gets roped into a kidnapping scheme by a less-than-intelligent criminal named Tommy. What follows is a tangled path of surprising twists and comedic beats. You'll laugh out loud, guaranteed. Probably the two brightest stars of this book are Pete's love interest Cat and the beautiful city known as New Orleans. For the latter, Edgerton paints a rich, textured portrait of an edgy city. For the former, he introduces us to a tough yet classy lady who brings out the best in Pete. Through the whole narrative, Edgerton maintains the narrator's colorful wise-cracking voice. You feel more like you're sitting at a bar listening to a good story over a beer, rather than sitting with a book. According to the book's end notes, Edgerton is working on a sequel. I, for one, am anxious to see what happens next.—Rob Boley, That Risen Snow: A Scary Tale of Snow White and Zombies
No novel ever deserved the “couldn’t put it down” label more than this one. This black comedy thriller will keep you laughing your way through your fear from first page to last.
Your guide through the amazing set of cons and mishaps is Pete Halliday, a major league pitcher (for a moment) fallen on hard times and looking for a score. Pete is earnest and funny and likable, but a more than a tad gullible. His partner/buddy keeps dreaming up new capers. Pete keeps falling for them. Complications ensue, and the results are both life-threatening (to the characters) and hilarious. The biggest caper of all is referenced in the title, and I’m not saying a word more about it for fear of spoiling everything. Read it to find out, and I’ll guarantee you’ll be ever and always glad you did.—Carl Brush, The Maxwell Vendetta
Pete Halliday's got a hell of an arm... and a little gambling problem. Or is it a little 'getting caught' problem? Either way he's washed out of baseball, biding his time in the Big Easy, pulling jobs with ace fuck-up Tommy LeClerc.

In spectacular fashion, Tommy blows schemes so clever they shouldn't be done. Like a kidnapping when you don't know whom the kidnapee is connected to. But then Tommy comes up with a brilliant idea; a kidnapping the likes of which no one has attempted before...

... and maybe there's a reason for that.

Pete's a likable guy. He just smart enough to realize how insane Tommy's plans are, too dumb to tell Tommy to screw off. And it's that inability that brings the feet of the whole New Orleans reverse nobility down on Pete and Tommy's necks.

The ray of dirty sunshine is Cat Duplaisir, waitress with a side of hooker. Pete falls hard, and she's a great add to the team here. And the ending? Guess you'll have to read it.

Overall, I love Pete's way of putting things. He's a narrating character that's reliable, true to form. Edgerton pours this one from his fingertips; nothing gets you clogged in the reading, nothing keeps you from hitting the 'next' arrow except maybe sleep or a pee break (I don't even think I took a pee break).

I got an advanced copy, But I liked it so much, I bought the paperback.—Liam Sweeny, Deadman’s Switch and Other Stories


Let’s rock this puppy! Baby needs a new pair of shoes… I appreciate your support!
Blue skies,Les

WebbWeaver Books Proudly Pesents: Author Les Edgerton 11/25 by WEBBWEAVER BOOKS | Books Podcasts

WebbWeaver Books Proudly Pesents: Author Les Edgerton 11/25 by WEBBWEAVER BOOKS | Books Podcasts

JANEY MACK IS ON FIRE!

Hi folks,

Just want to alert everybody to a book that's just hit the market that I think you'll really like.

It's a rocking comedy crime caper by one of my former students, Janey Mack wrote it while in our novel-writing class. She has one of the most original protagonists in literature--wannabe-cop Maisie McGrane who works as a meter maid after getting bounced out of the police academy. She works with a cast of zany characters who Tim Dorsey might wish he'd invented. Janey was able to secure a three-book deal with Kensington and the second in the series comes out in December.

This is one of the funniest books I've read in a long, long time! Our class loved each week's installment as they came and couldn't wait for the following week.

Here's part of our class in Scottsdale a few years ago. L-R are Joe Beaumont and his lovely, talented wife, Maegan (who also has a three-book deal with Midnight Ink), moi, Linda Thompson (who is finishing up her novel in class for her agent), Suzana Orozco (working on her novel and screenplays), and Janey Mack, our newest author!

One of three of Maegan's novels--each one is fantastic!

We've got a fantastic class and fantastic group of alumni! As of now, there are five other writers either currently in class or who finished their novel while in class who are poised to publish their novels. I'll keep you updated when they come out.


But for now--get TIME'S UP! And wear your Depends--there are places where you'll wet your pants laughing!

Blue skies,
Les

Louis Prima - The Wildest Documentary