C.B. Calsing's Blog, page 31
November 9, 2011
Saturday
This Saturday I am performing my first marriage ceremony. It's actually quite easy to be able to do this. Well, I mean to become a legal officiant is easy. What's not easy is getting up in front of the family and friends of the bride and groom and quite possibly botching one of the most important days of their life (I hope they don't read this).
How did this all come about? I think it started as a joke. "Hey, why don't I do it?" "Yeah, that would be fun." "Haha." "Haha." And then somehow I was on the computer, ordaining myself at themonastery.org and ordering my official certificate to take to the notary and parish clerk of courts. About $100 and a few trips to the Sears for their notary services, and I was able to perform weddings in Orleans and Jefferson Parish.
That all happened months ago, but now... Now it's real. I am possession of their marriage license. I have a black leather binder with the ceremony printed out in big font. I have a dress to wear -- I decided to skip the vestments. And on Saturday at 3:30 I will stand up in front of some people and perform a marriage. One of the most sacred acts in all of human ritual, and I am permitted to do it.
What does that say about the state of our culture?
How did this all come about? I think it started as a joke. "Hey, why don't I do it?" "Yeah, that would be fun." "Haha." "Haha." And then somehow I was on the computer, ordaining myself at themonastery.org and ordering my official certificate to take to the notary and parish clerk of courts. About $100 and a few trips to the Sears for their notary services, and I was able to perform weddings in Orleans and Jefferson Parish.
That all happened months ago, but now... Now it's real. I am possession of their marriage license. I have a black leather binder with the ceremony printed out in big font. I have a dress to wear -- I decided to skip the vestments. And on Saturday at 3:30 I will stand up in front of some people and perform a marriage. One of the most sacred acts in all of human ritual, and I am permitted to do it.
What does that say about the state of our culture?
August 28, 2011
Six Things Sunday -- movies on TV
I'm a bit wonky when it comes to certain movies. I have to watch them if they are on TV -- even when edited for time and content. No matter what, if I'm flipping stations and I see one of these films is on, I have to stop and watch it. So I thought today we'd do a "six things Sunday" of my must-watch movies.
You may question my taste, but these are all great for procrastinating the weekend away. I don't own any of the DVDs, nor would I rent them. There's no need, because they are all on some sort of Spike/ FX/ AMC rotation, it seems.
These are in no particular order.
Pitch Black. Damn good sci fi, really, and you haters can keep quiet. I do put my fingers in my ears and say "Lalala" whenever the term "Furian" comes up. Really? That's the best they could do when coming up with a name for a people know for their, well, fury?
Chronicles of Riddick. It's got Dame Judi Dench in it... and you know you want to know how Riddick did with his five-year plan.
Hellboy. One of the best comic concepts turned movie. Plus, I'll watch anything with Ron Perlman in it. Problem is, he's in everything! (Tangled is great, by the way)
Hellboy II: The Golden Army. See above.
Constantine. This has been the longest running must-watch movie on the list. Even Shia LaBeouf couldn't ruin this for me. I love Tilda Swinton as the androgynous, really evil angel. I was excited to see on IMDB that a sequel is in the planning stages.
Serenity. This one is even on Watch it Now on Netflix, but I'll still watch it on TV. I kneel at the alter of Firefly.
You may question my taste, but these are all great for procrastinating the weekend away. I don't own any of the DVDs, nor would I rent them. There's no need, because they are all on some sort of Spike/ FX/ AMC rotation, it seems.
These are in no particular order.
Pitch Black. Damn good sci fi, really, and you haters can keep quiet. I do put my fingers in my ears and say "Lalala" whenever the term "Furian" comes up. Really? That's the best they could do when coming up with a name for a people know for their, well, fury?
Chronicles of Riddick. It's got Dame Judi Dench in it... and you know you want to know how Riddick did with his five-year plan.
Hellboy. One of the best comic concepts turned movie. Plus, I'll watch anything with Ron Perlman in it. Problem is, he's in everything! (Tangled is great, by the way)
Hellboy II: The Golden Army. See above.
Constantine. This has been the longest running must-watch movie on the list. Even Shia LaBeouf couldn't ruin this for me. I love Tilda Swinton as the androgynous, really evil angel. I was excited to see on IMDB that a sequel is in the planning stages.
Serenity. This one is even on Watch it Now on Netflix, but I'll still watch it on TV. I kneel at the alter of Firefly.
August 18, 2011
Parrots
When I first bought my house, I took a picture of the front. On later inspection, I saw perched on one of the wires -- phone or cable -- a green bird. I treated it like some sort of cryptozoological study. I had a jeweler's loop out in moments, saw it was some sort of parakeet or maybe a lovebird. I assumed at the time that someone's pet had become free.
Later I learned that New Orleans has a population of parrots. My bird book suggests they are monk parrots, a feral population established from escaped pets.
For the last decade, I've treated my occasional sightings of them with joy and wonder. I would see them in palm trees, hear them as they perched on wires or squabbled in the neighbor's magnolia tree. Most of the time, I saw them up around Elysian Fields, near UNO, in the palms that lined the median, bright flashes of green midst the dark foliage.
This year, though, it seems a population has finally made the permanent move into the Bywater. I see and hear them everyday now. I love it. It makes me feel as if I'm truly in a tropical setting. I munch on my pina colada snow ball and watch them dance on the power lines and try to invade the purple martin nesting boxes. They eat dates from a laden tree. Their shrieking -- not as articulate or ensnaring as a trained macaw's -- fills the air.
I know I shouldn't enjoy invasive species, but could something so cute and comical really deserve my rancor? I'll save it for the starlings.
Later I learned that New Orleans has a population of parrots. My bird book suggests they are monk parrots, a feral population established from escaped pets.
For the last decade, I've treated my occasional sightings of them with joy and wonder. I would see them in palm trees, hear them as they perched on wires or squabbled in the neighbor's magnolia tree. Most of the time, I saw them up around Elysian Fields, near UNO, in the palms that lined the median, bright flashes of green midst the dark foliage.
This year, though, it seems a population has finally made the permanent move into the Bywater. I see and hear them everyday now. I love it. It makes me feel as if I'm truly in a tropical setting. I munch on my pina colada snow ball and watch them dance on the power lines and try to invade the purple martin nesting boxes. They eat dates from a laden tree. Their shrieking -- not as articulate or ensnaring as a trained macaw's -- fills the air.
I know I shouldn't enjoy invasive species, but could something so cute and comical really deserve my rancor? I'll save it for the starlings.
August 7, 2011
Moving forward
I wrote a short story this week, which is great because I haven't written anything in a while. It's part of Magpie's story, and can be added to that book when I get back to working on it, but it stands alone. I just need to up the magical realism a smidge more before it's done.
Tomorrow is my first day back at work after a pretty good summer vacation. Coincidentally, I just started watching season four of The Wire, in which Pres has become a middle school math teacher in the Baltimore Public School System. Watching what he goes through reminds me a lot of my first two years in Orleans Parish. It's also making me nervous about my first day with kids in a couple of weeks. I spent the last three years with the same class of students, moving up with them, so it's weird having a new group.
I hope to get back to work on some longer writing soon. Hopefully finish Magpie one of these days. The second book is really the hardest, I think. It's taking me forever.
Tomorrow is my first day back at work after a pretty good summer vacation. Coincidentally, I just started watching season four of The Wire, in which Pres has become a middle school math teacher in the Baltimore Public School System. Watching what he goes through reminds me a lot of my first two years in Orleans Parish. It's also making me nervous about my first day with kids in a couple of weeks. I spent the last three years with the same class of students, moving up with them, so it's weird having a new group.
I hope to get back to work on some longer writing soon. Hopefully finish Magpie one of these days. The second book is really the hardest, I think. It's taking me forever.
July 27, 2011
I'm in Silverthorne, Colorado right now for a work trip. ...
I'm in Silverthorne, Colorado right now for a work trip. Going from about six feet below sea level yesterday to about ten thousand feet was a bit of a shock to my system. I could have probably gone to bed at about six thirty, but we had to do introductions and what not.
I had a dream last night that for some reason crying blood was a sign of altitude sickness. Of course, I was crying blood. It was not a nice dream.
The setting here is beautiful: rushing rivers, waterfalls, snow-capped mountains all viewable from the bus on the freeway here. I'm sleeping on a rollaway bed right under the hotel room window, and I opened the drapes this morning to golden sun streaming through silver clouds. The effect has finished, but it was nice while it lasted.
I had a dream last night that for some reason crying blood was a sign of altitude sickness. Of course, I was crying blood. It was not a nice dream.
The setting here is beautiful: rushing rivers, waterfalls, snow-capped mountains all viewable from the bus on the freeway here. I'm sleeping on a rollaway bed right under the hotel room window, and I opened the drapes this morning to golden sun streaming through silver clouds. The effect has finished, but it was nice while it lasted.
July 20, 2011
bitches gotta eat.: summer beauty tips for the gross and lazy.
bitches gotta eat.: summer beauty tips for the gross and lazy.: "this is my real sink. and i want you to know that because i'm so well-mannered and considerate i wiped down all of the toothpaste spots and..."
This is quite possibly the funniest beauty article I've ever read.
This is quite possibly the funniest beauty article I've ever read.
July 11, 2011
Haven't posted in a while
I've been busy, and it seems my summer is just slipping away from me. I had planned to revise Storm Summer and maybe finish Magpie, but neither of those things happened. I did go to the Gulf Coast twice and drink rum drinks. I did help build a fence and finally finish painting my bedroom. And I'll be in Colorado for a week coming up.
Still, I don't feel as if I wrote as much as I could have. I started a short story and didn't finish it, and more disappointing, a journal I was in closed and won't be publishing one of my short stories. In fact, I'm not really sure when I'll publish something new.
In the meantime, I'm writing a workshop on grant writing.
Still, I don't feel as if I wrote as much as I could have. I started a short story and didn't finish it, and more disappointing, a journal I was in closed and won't be publishing one of my short stories. In fact, I'm not really sure when I'll publish something new.
In the meantime, I'm writing a workshop on grant writing.
May 11, 2011
Our nation's capital
Our tour guide got in a fight -- it did not come to blows, but seemed close -- with a woman today because he directed our bus driver to park at a city bus stop. The lady was waiting for a ride, apparently -- though not for a bus -- and she took offense to the tour guide's attitude. There was much cursing and talking to the hand. I wanted to use this as some sort of metaphor for my trip here to Washington D.C., but my mind is too melty and has stopped functioning. I can think of nothing apt or apropos -- look, I'm even writing redundancies.
The gift shops are filled with trinkets made in China, for the most part, many of the same items you can buy in Pensacola Beach or on Bourbon Street, but emblazoned with D.C. instead of N.O. Another metaphor there for another time.
Tomorrow we get out of the city to visit Mount Vernon. I'm hoping for a bit more history and a bit less flash there, but we'll see.
The gift shops are filled with trinkets made in China, for the most part, many of the same items you can buy in Pensacola Beach or on Bourbon Street, but emblazoned with D.C. instead of N.O. Another metaphor there for another time.
Tomorrow we get out of the city to visit Mount Vernon. I'm hoping for a bit more history and a bit less flash there, but we'll see.
April 30, 2011
Spring Break
I listened to this book during my walks this spring break. I found it hilarious, sad, and motivational in turns. The audio book has its bright side -- in that Tina Fey actually narrates it. The book, I'm sure, would have its bright side -- in that the pictures she references are right there. I would definitely recommend this book to pretty much everyone. It's great to see inside her development as a performer and writer.
I'm sure people in my neighborhood think I'm crazy. Not only because I walk around with a dog tied to my waist -- it makes sense, believe me -- but because I've been laughing and crying aloud and completely ignoring them as I go by. I'm sure they can't see my uber chic iPod buds and the brilliant white wires, so they think I'm just rude. Or crazy.
Listening to this made me want to write comedy. I wrote one stand-up routine once, but never delivered it. Fey's background is in improv, which I loved in theater class growing up, but I feel more comfortable with the whole memorization thing. I've been thinking of a comedic novel, though. What would that look like coming from me? But then I look at the list of WIPs and sadly slink away from emulating Douglas Adams or Tom Robbins.
I'm sure people in my neighborhood think I'm crazy. Not only because I walk around with a dog tied to my waist -- it makes sense, believe me -- but because I've been laughing and crying aloud and completely ignoring them as I go by. I'm sure they can't see my uber chic iPod buds and the brilliant white wires, so they think I'm just rude. Or crazy.
Listening to this made me want to write comedy. I wrote one stand-up routine once, but never delivered it. Fey's background is in improv, which I loved in theater class growing up, but I feel more comfortable with the whole memorization thing. I've been thinking of a comedic novel, though. What would that look like coming from me? But then I look at the list of WIPs and sadly slink away from emulating Douglas Adams or Tom Robbins.
April 17, 2011
Roller Derby...Again
Last night I volunteered at the opening of the season for the Big Easy Roller Girls. Right this moment, I'm shopping for street wheels for my skates -- the ones I had custom made four years ago, the first time I wanted to do derby -- so I can start to get my chops back up before try-outs for "new meat" positions in the fall. There, I ordered them: purple wheels and cheap bearings so I don't ruin the good ones I already have on my skates.
Sacrifices will have to be made to make the practices and what not, but I think I'm finally ready to make it happen. I'll spend the summer working the bouts, learning the ropes, meeting the people I need to know, and skating all over the place. After that, maybe I'll be ready to try out. If not, well, I'll have fun getting to that point. Now to go dig up all my gear.
Sacrifices will have to be made to make the practices and what not, but I think I'm finally ready to make it happen. I'll spend the summer working the bouts, learning the ropes, meeting the people I need to know, and skating all over the place. After that, maybe I'll be ready to try out. If not, well, I'll have fun getting to that point. Now to go dig up all my gear.
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