A.P. Bastian's Blog, page 5

loving masochist

the memories don’t turn into ash like the words gifted- they’re too beautiful to set on fire and let fade in the wind and if some people are many in one then the me I am when I fall in love is a masochist.

affirmation

I am worthy. I write the three words slowly, letting each letter drag for as long as it wishes, affirming through ink and manifesting into reality what I’m teaching my heart to believe.

reflections from fire

when something catches on fire, there is a ton of energy behind the flame. It makes sense then, that even after the flame is put out, the energy lingers- embers flicker, smoke does pirouettes as it rises before disappearing into the stratosphere, ashes reluctantly whisper goodbye as they take their time being blown away by … Continue reading reflections from fire

when my heart advises my brain

come back to what you know. come back to your breath. come back down to the ground and focus on growing roots instead of wishing for wings to fly away- my darling, sadness will follow wherever you go to try and escape it so come back and face it, learn to befriend it, and I … Continue reading when my heart advises my brain

same but different

some people are harder to let go than others some hands linger on the memory longer, caressing past moments that gave life sense, making feet dance on the kitchen floor or wrap around another’s on Sundays spent in bed. some wounds are harder to heal than others. sadness sometimes feels more profound when you lose … Continue reading same but different

picture frames

After so many losses I settle into connection slowly- dipping my toes in the waters of love one at a time, as if it could start boiling at any point and burn me again. Still I undress my soul and walk towards the water even if my mind’s request to once more trust happiness that … Continue reading picture frames

croissants in Paris

he ruined me like having your first croissant in Paris- there will never be another quite like it, there will never be a substitute for the kind of magic he brought to life with one kiss.

you are all the answers you seek

lately it seems all the answers I seek come to me when I’m writing- it’s as if my hands become channels to my intuition and the message I need flows from the ether, into my heart, and out through my fingertips finding home in a blank space creating a new slate as I shift into … Continue reading you are all the answers you seek

what’s the definition of insanity again?

how many more times will I have to let you go? how many more times until I no longer can? how many goodbyes must be said until one becomes final or you decide to stay?

gratitude attitude

thank you for breaking me – it forced me to inspect and love upon and heal all my bits and pieces before putting myself back together again. now because of the worst in you, I am a better me. so thank you.