Julie R. Enszer's Blog, page 33

Ten Really Good Things in My Life Right Now

1. Vita, the eight month old kitten, is cuddly and loves to wrap her warm body around my neck and purr.

2. Emma, the St. Bernard, likes to take long walks in the morning to contemplate the world and our place in it.

3. There is a lot of incredible fiction by lesbians, and I am reading a lot of it. Trying to finish the entire oeuvre of Sarah Waters and Helen Humphreys this spring. Deeply satisfying.

4. I have a copy of the new Marilyn Hacker book of poetry on my nightstand. It is beautiful.

5. Cold weather. Uggs.

6. Amazing roasted almond tea to brew every evening.

7. Fun Home is coming to Broadway. Brilliance recognized.

8. Handmade pottery mugs for aforementioned tea.

9. The last two sentences of Helen Humphreys’ novel Wild Dogs:

The heart is a wild and fugitive creature.

The heard is a dog who comes home.

10. This home. This one wild life.

And

11. The Adirondack chairs with ears of corn where the squirrels come to eat in the morning. The window from where I watch them.

Filed under: personal writing

Reading and Writing on a Snow Day

I hoped and wished for a snow day. Today we had one. The snow paltry by Michigan standards. Maybe four inches. Enough that it too over an hour to clear the drive and then another fifteen minutes to clear the front path to the door, but not enough that I could not do it myself. It was a good morning, waking knowing that I had the full day ahead of me. Emma and I took a long walk. Then the shoveling. Then poor Ems, she had to go and get her teeth cleaned. She still has not completely recovered from the anesthesia. She is lying on the kitchen floor. Contemplating dinner, but with first class pain medication coursing through her veins. After the labor and the shuttling Emma about, I sat down and wrote. New words. A new piece due by the end of the month. After a lot of editing over the past weeks and teaching and other activities, it was good to sit with my own words. Forming them, scratching them out, playing with them. Then some reading this afternoon. And I ordered two new bookcases. My library is nearly all reorganized, but it still needs more space. Especially if I want it to grow, even modestly.

I am loving reading again. Fiction. I am reading some writers in their entirety. Reading back through Sarah Waters novels. And Helen Humphreys. I love how fiction occupies my mind. Consumes it. I am similarly consumed with television serials. Currently finishing The Wire. Then the third season of House of Cards. It has been released on Netflix, right?

All of this is just to say I would like to have more snow days in my life metaphorically. More days of writing and reading. A little laundry. Some housebound solitude.

Filed under: personal writing

Sinister Wisdom 95: Cover Reveal! (And More!)

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December 2014

Sisters,

First, I want to thank you on behalf of everyone at Sinister Wisdom for your support during our fall fundraising campaign. We reached and exceeded our goal, raising over $4,600 to support Sinister Wisdom during 2015. I am truly gratified by all of your support of the journal. Thank you.

Next Issue Sinister Wisdom 95: Reconciliations

We have a gorgeous cover for Sinister Wisdom 95. Click here to visit our webpage for a special sneak peek of the new cover. Gracing the front cover of Sinister Wisdom 95: Reconcilitations is an image from Sierra Schepmann. The gorgeous cover gives you some idea of the fantastic issue that will be winging its way to you soon. Included in the pages of Sinister Wisdom 95 is new work by Kat McAllister Black, Diane Furtney, Bonnilee Kaufman, Maureen Seaton, Annemarie Monahan, Janine Mercer, Heather Seggel and many, many more.

I expect Sinister Wisdom 95 to be in the mail to subscribers early next week. It can take up to four weeks for journals to reach your mail box, but everyone should have it by the end of January. If you copy doesn’t arrive by February 14th, email SinisterWisdom@gmail.com and I’ll send a replacement copy your way.

Not a subscriber? Sign up for a subscription to the journal today!

Raves for Sinister Wisdom 94

Readers have been raving about Sinister Wisdom 94: Lesbians and Exile. One woman wrote: “Sometimes a word, a phrase, or a paragraph when reading it lifts me so high , I cry and am afraid of falling.

This happens often when I read Sinister Wisdom articles, in particular.  The themes, content, and the writers’ style of clarity, never cease to amaze me.” One of the contributors wrote: “I hold the book in my two hands and I am moved.  This is my past, present and future. My past is women loving women and women’s history past. Being an author in Sinister Wisdom, that i read first time long time ago, I feel I arrived where I belong: the lesbian community of the world.”

Here is a brief piece I wrote about Sinister Wisdom 94, Behind the Issue. I’ve been writing regularly for Huffington Post; you can follow my blog at Huffington Post here. I try to infuse lesbian-feminism in the blogosphere when I have the time and inspiration.

Missed an Issue? Subscription Not Acknowledged?

All of us at Sinister Wisdom work hard to ensure that you receive every copy of your subscription and that extra copies ordered of the current issue or any back issues are shipped promptly, usually within twenty-four hours. Mistakes happen, however! If your subscription doesn’t start on time or you miss an issue, please reach out and let me know. I mail out all of the individual web orders and review all of the subscription lists, but sometimes something falls through the cracks. Let me know any issues with payments, subscriptions, and orders; I want to resolve them in a timely manner and with extraordinary customer service.

My goal is to offer compelling content in Sinister Wisdom and online – here in the newsletter, at http://www.SinisterWisdom.org, and on our Facebook page. For me, Sinister Wisdom is not only a journal, it is a journal that imagines and ignites lesbian revolution.

Nearly a hundred people donated to our fall fundraising campaign, but now there are nearly 800 people on this email list. If you are making year end gifts, please consider Sinister Wisdom. We are an entirely volunteer organization creating and celebrating lesbian culture. Your gift makes a difference.

As always, share your thoughts with me about Sinister Wisdom. It is a pleasure to be a sister steward for the journal at this moment.

In sisterhood,

Julie

Julie R. Enszer, PhD

Editor and Publisher, Sinister Wisdom

Bibs and Bobs

Back issues?

For most issues, we have plenty of back issues in stock, but some are becoming scarce! If you are looking for a copy of Sinister Wisdom 92: Lesbian Healthcare Workers, we have only about a dozen left. Order today before we run out. Similarly, we have less than a handful of Sinister Wisdom 93: Southern Lesbian-Feminist Herstory 1968-1994, so order today if you want a copy.

Love the poster? You can still snag one. . . .

You can still get a copy of the 40th Anniversary Commemorative Poster for a donation of $100 to Sinister Wisdom. Donate here or mail a check to Sinister Wisdom, PO Box 3252, Berkeley, CA 94703. (Yes, your contribution is tax-deductible!)

Love a cover?

We have some cover flats that we are happy to mail to folks who love a cover and want to frame it. Email sinisterwisdom@gmail.com to inquire about a cover flat and we’ll verify availability. A cover flat is yours for the cost of postage plus a donation of any amount.

Want to volunteer?

We have lots of things that volunteers can do at Sinister Wisdom. We are especially looking for copyeditors and a website content editor. If you are interested, email sinisterwisdom@gmail.com.

Share the newsletter with a friend!

Please forward this newsletter on to two or three of your friends who might be interested in Sinister Wisdom. We still hear from folks, “Wow, I didn’t know you were still publishing!” We are! If you want to be on our email list, sign up at our website on the left hand side. If you want to receive each new issue of Sinister Wisdom, hot off the presses, subscribe!

Introducing Valerie Wetlaufer

editor of Adrienne: A Poetry Journal of Queer Women

Julie for Sinister Wisdom: Tell me about Adrienne.

Valerie: Adrienne is a poetry journal featuring a substantial portfolio of work by queer women (we publish at least 7 poems by 10-12 poets each issue), published twice annually by Sibling Rivalry Press.

Julie: What do you hope readers experience when they read Adrienne?

Valerie: We try to represent the great diversity of the queer women’s poetry community, and publish everything from slam poetry to experimental work from queer women of all ages and experience levels. We’ve published the first poems by some women, and new work by established writers. We’re also committed to racial diversity, and have published a great many poets of color in each issue. The queer women’s poetry community is not just one thing or one type of poem, and I hope that reading Adrienne, people get to experience the vastness of this community. I love that we publish such a large portion of each poet’s work, so that readers get a larger sense of their style, so that each issue is more like an anthology than a journal.

Julie: Tell me a story about why you publish Adrienne.

Valerie: When I was in college, it was “Twenty-One Love Poems” by Adrienne Rich that inspired me to write my first poem, so editing a journal named in her honor was a dream come true. As a young poet, I wanted to get my hands on everything I could by queer writers, and I was especially hungry for contemporary work. After years of working elsewhere as an editor and having to fight for every queer author we published, I was eager to edit a journal where I’m able to feature the writing I care about most.

Julie: How can readers purchase Adrienne?

Valerie: Directly from the Sibling Rivalry Press website (http://siblingrivalrypress.com/) is best, but it is also available from Amazon.

Julie: How can writers submit to Adrienne?

Valerie: We accept submissions through Submittable, and will open again for submissions on January 1st. Interested poets should check our Submittable Page to see if we are open. We’re always accepting cover art from queer women as well. (https://siblingrivalrypress.submittable.com/submit)

Thanks, Valerie.

Learn more about Adrienne: a Poetry Journal of Queer Women here: http://www.sibilingrivalrypress.com/adrienne

And check out Valerie’s collection of poetry, Mysterious Acts by My People (Sibling Rivalry Press 2014), here or at her website.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Best Reads 2014

It was a great year of reading for me. One of my resolutions was to get back into reading lesbian fiction. While I was in graduate school, reading fiction fell down on the priority list. As a result I felt like I did not know the landscape of lesbian fiction. After this year, I still do not feel completely au courant, but I have a better sense of what is being published at the moment. I read Sarah Waters new book, The Paying Guest, and enjoyed it, but I didn’t put it on my list of Best Reads. It was fun, long, and pleasurable, but no a best. So without further ado, here are my best reads in 2014.

Fiction: Yabo by Alexis De Veaux and Moving Forward Sideways Like a Crab by Shani Mootoo.

I loved Yabo and so did my students in Theories of Feminisms. I think it is a novel worthy of having Firebrand Books on its spine. I think that Nancy Bereano published some of the best feminist fiction during the late 80s and 90s through Firebrand Books. Of course, maybe it is just that Redbone Press is now publishing some of the best fiction. Either way, go buy and read Yabo. You will be happy you did.

Shani Mootoo’s newest book, Moving Forward Sideways Like a Crab, is an extraordinary book by an author just coming into her full power. One of my favorite things about Mootoo’s writing is the large worlds that she creates with complex lesbian, gay, bi, and trans characters. Currently, Mootoo’s newest book is only available in Canada; order it from an independent bookseller and have it shipped to you now.

I also read Marilynne Robinson’s Lila, and it is a fine and beautiful book. It has gotten lots of ink so I am only mentioning it. It’s a brilliant book, read it along side books by lesbians and books published by small, independent publishers.

Poetry: Faithful and Virtuous Night by Louise Glück

Glück’s new book has received accolades, and I loved it. Deeply. I read it with awe and wonder, remembering why I love poetry. I highly commend it to you as one of the best reads of 2014.

Best classic feminist fiction: City of Hermits by Gina Covina

This is a feminist chestnut. Lots of copies available on used book websites. Covina’s book about lesbian-feminists in a post apocalyptic world is fun and delightful. Dust this one off from your shelves and enjoy.

Memoir: Cease by Lynette Loepkky

When is the last time you read a memoir about a lesbian relationship that was real, complex, thoughtful, and honest? It has probably been a while. Loepkky’s Cease is a wonderful book. Buy it and read it.

Essays: Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay

Roxane Gay’s An Untamed State, her debut novel, was another great read of the year, but difficult and harrowing. Gay’s collection of essays was a joy. One of my favorites is here, but check out the full book for a pleasurable read.

Want to know more about what I am reading? Follow me on Goodreads! Right now I am reading Marc Solomon’s Winning Marriage in conversation with Jo Becker’s Forcing the Spring. Posting full commentary to Goodreads.

Filed under: lesbian, poetry Tagged: best reads of 2014, reading, top books

Claudia Emerson, 1957-2014

Frame, an Epistle

By Claudia Emerson

Most of the things you made for me—blanket-

chest, lapdesk, the armless rocker—I gave

away to friends who could use them and not

be reminded of the hours lost there,

not having been witness to those designs,

the tedious finishes. But I did keep

the mirror, perhaps because like all mirrors,

most of these years it has been invisible,

part of the wall, or defined by reflection—

safe—because reflection, after all, does change.

I hung it here in the front, dark hallway

of this house you will never see, so that

it might magnify the meager light,

become a lesser, backward window. No one

pauses long before it. But this morning,

as I put on my overcoat, then straightened

my hair, I saw outside my face its frame

you made for me, admiring for the first

time the way the cherry you cut and planed

yourself had darkened, just as you said it would.

From Emerson’s Pulitzer Prize winning book, Late Wife

So sad to learn of Claudia Emerson’s death. So young. Such beautiful words.

Filed under: poetry Tagged: claudia emerson, death, memory, poets

Leslie Feinberg, 1949-2014

This:

And this:

Leslie Feinberg, Transgender Warrior

And always, when words fail me, I find them from Toni Morrison.

“O Lord, Sula,” she cried, “girl, girl, girlgirlgirl.”

It was a fine cry—loud and long—but it had no bottom and it had no top, just circles and circles of sorrow.

― Toni Morrison, Sula

Filed under: lesbian, personal writing, progressive activism Tagged: leslie feinberg, new york times, toni morrison

Recent Project and Beloved Collaborators

I did a series of interviews about Poetry in Translation over at the Huffington Post. The four interviews are based on the launch of a new book series, Periscope, at A Midsummer Night’s Press. Through this series, publisher Lawrence Schimel publishes poetry in translation, particularly poetry by women. I conducted interviews with the three authors of the first Periscope books and an interview with Lawrence Shimel. The full interviews are available here:

Poetry in Translation: A Conversation with Lawrence Schimel

Poetry in Translation: A Conversation with Kätlin Kaldmaa

Poetry in Translation: A Conversation with Jana Putrle Srdić

Poetry in Translation: A Conversation within Care Santos

It was a great pleasure to talk with these poets about their work. The greatest thing about this project, however, was the collaboration with Lawrence.

In my research into lesbian-feminist publishing, one of the things that delights me is the quality of collaborative relationships that women writers and publishers built. I think about the collaborative relationship that Nancy Bereano had with a number of authors through her work at Firebrand Books, the relationships that Barbara Grier had with Naiad Press authors, and that Joan Pinkvoss had and has through Aunt Lute Books. Many times sitting in libraries or other rooms working through archival material, I would think about how I wanted to have relationships like that. I would think about how I wanted to have a relationship with someone who would help me identify and write my best work.

I have that relationship. Lawrence Schimel is one of the best friends and collaborators for whom any writer could ever wish. Lawrence inspires me to write more, he presses me when I do not want to do more, he provides lengthy thoughtful critiques of my work, cheers me when I am down and celebrates when I have milestones to celebrate. Sometimes the things that we research and read about, the things that we wish for in our own lives while rambling through the past, come to be.

I am grateful for having a collaborator, a conspirator, and a friend. Lawrence is all of that to me and more.

Filed under: lesbian, poetry Tagged: collaboraton, lawrence schimel, poetry in translation

Highlights and Lowlights, or how life is

As I open up the webpage to write this blog post, the delightful little Vita, who is now, we think four months old, dipped her back paw into the inch and a half of coffee, cold, still sitting in the mug from this morning. She was shocked by the cold on her leg, jumped out of the cup, and shook cold, creamy coffee all over the work space. I mopped it up with a little toilet paper, still sitting at the side of my desk from my fall cold. She is now on the floor licking her paw, mewing that I should really stop working.

And I should, but this is the season I love. It is nearly 5 p.m. and darkness is descending in the neighborhood. I love to work until sundown. It feels productive. Industrious. This is what I want to write about:

I have written a lot this fall. Which means, I have spent a lot of time alone in the office in my house. In silence. Silence punctuated by the tapping of the keyboard. Followed by pauses. Contemplation. More tapping. I always have to remind myself that this is work. It feels like work. But it doesn’t produce cars, which is what I think should be the end result of work given my upbringing in Michigan.

Sometimes though this work produces moments of blissful recognition. Yesterday was one of those moments. I learned about it, this achievement, this recognition, on Facebook. I get a lot of news from Facebook. (Apparently there is an election today  and we should all vote.) Yesterday’s news came from Sandra Beasley. In the American Poetry Review, Eavan Boland quoted me. I was awestruck. I found the piece. And there I was:

There are only two footnotes in the piece. The other is Virginia Woolf. It just got better.

You will note, this is a piece that I wrote in 2005 and published in 2006. Writing–and recognition thereof–takes a long time.

I wrote on Facebook and Twitter that this is one of the greatest moments of my life. I felt a sense of accomplishment, much like I did when I found my name in Judy Grahn’s memoir, A Simple Revolution. Two mentions and I have a sense of lifetime fulfillment.

Then today, I woke up and started writing again. Revising work in progress. Drafting something new. This is how it goes, every day at the desk.

What are the greatest moments of our lives? Do we recognize them when they happen? Do they last longer than a few moments? Are they a few hours? Are they a whole day? When do we stop believing the best is yet to come and search our memory for the moments of achievement and satisfaction that have already passed?

Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: A Simple Revolution, American Poetry Review, Eavan Boland, greatest moments, Judy Grahn, Sandra Beasley, writing, writing life

Bibs and Bobs, Good and Bad

Thrilled to have my poem, “A Lesbian Fantasia on Angels in America,” was nominated by OCHO for a Pushcart Prize. You can read more about that here. The issue is available for purchase here. Much gratitude to editor Matthew Hittinger and issue editor Rae Gouirand.

Thanks to editor Kim Roberts and issue editor Myra Sklarew for the invitation to write.

Two reviews over the past month: Daisy Hernández’s A Cup of Water Under My Bed and Ellen Bass’s Like a Beggar. I continue to love writing about books I am reading and share these thoughts with reading publics.

I have also been writing away, revising material from my dissertation and taking lots of breaks to play with our new kitten Vita, also known as “little squeaker.”

Some distressing news here in our animal kingdom. In addition to Emma’s usual fall “itchy-scratchies,” we learned that Shelby’s liver functions are deteriorating. It may be liver cancer. We humans are a bit bluesy here, but waiting until next week when we have more diagnostic information. Love your critters people. And write on. Write on.

Filed under: lesbian, poetry Tagged: book reviewing, dog, kittens, pushcart

Being Liked, Being Angry

A series of minor incidents, which are so insignificant I will not recount them, prompted me to first recognize and then reflect on the issue of being liked. Let me say, I have never thought of myself as a person who wanted to be liked by others. In truth, I have never been a person who was liked by others. Kindness, accommodation, pleasantness, malleability and other characteristics that make people like-able have never been my stock in trade. I tend more to the opinionated, the abrupt, even the irascible. Or at least this is how I have seen and understood myself.

Yet, over the past few years, I have become invested, subconsciously, I think, in thing liked. I recognized it when I realized that there are some people who do not like me and that vexed me. I actually thought, how could I get them to like me, instead of, who cares that they don’t like me, I have work to do. This realization sent me on a reverie trying to determine, when did I become the kind of person who wants to be liked? When did I start caring what people thought about me? What made me aware of whether or not people like me? I have some answers to those questions, but the real epiphany is not related to any of those questions.

My epiphany is that for me, losing anger, losing a fierce fiery passion to do something, change something, accomplish something is what invites the desire to be liked to come live inside me. That is, when I am angry, when I have a fiery passion to do something, I am more invested in that anger, that analysis of what must be changed, than I am in being liked or even being aware of what other people think about me. Wanting to be liked, for me, is a symptom of losing anger, losing passion, losing righteousness. Losing in some ways authenticity.

While over the past few days, this realization has felt like an epiphany to me; in reality, the insight of the necessity of killing the angel in the house is one that has been with me and with women for nearly a century. Woolf explained it as the job of the woman writer. Mobilizing anger against the angel of the house, recognizing that she is a barrier to artistic work was vital for Woolf. Today, the idea of an angel in the house feels less resonant, but the desire to be liked? The desire to be seen universally as a good, kind person? That is the contemporary angel.

I am killing her.

Like me or don’t like me. I don’t care. I am killing the desire to be liked. And I’m angry about ever second wasted wanting to be liked. I have work to do. And that work is more important than anything others think, like, or dislike about me.

Filed under: personal writing Tagged: anger, being liked, Virginia Woolf