Jeff Strand's Blog, page 60

Adventures in Failed Social Media Posts

Every once in a while I’ll post a joke on Facebook and/or Twitter that I think is obviously a joke, but then I’ll get sincere responses. Then I’ll wonder if it’s MY fault, if the joke just doesn’t work, or if it’s THEIR fault. Usually I decide it’s their fault.

Here’s today’s post. Was it obviously shared in jest? YOU decide!

“How do you get rid of an unwanted friend? Asking for a friend.”

The Force Awakens – RIPOFF!!!

I saw The Force Awakens on opening night, but it took me this long to come to terms with the fact that it’s a shameless ripoff of A New Hope. Here are the ways:

1 – Both movies open with the name Star Wars in the exact same font! And it’s a weird font, so no way is this a coincidence. Plus it’s the exact same music! Did they think we wouldn’t notice? Most damning, The Force Awakens has the same kind of slanted words that go off into space, like the person responsible for scrolling the text put it on crooked. Lame.

2 – Both movies have a gold robot. Sorry, but giving him a red arm doesn’t constitute originality. They didn’t even try to make the voice sound different! C’mon, J.J., you had to have been paid well–why not try to earn it?

3 – The Force Awakens has this orange-and-white rolly-ball robot. I’m pretty sure he was in A New Hope. Am I remembering wrong? Was it The Empire Strikes Back? Maybe I should do some research–ha ha, just kidding! Internet outrage backed up by facts is for squares.

4 – Everyone dies at the end of both movies. Both times, I thought it was needlessly nihilistic for a film aimed at mainstream audiences.

5 – Both films squander the opportunity to have a character actually say the phrase “star wars” and then give a knowing look to the camera. WTF?

6 – The Force Awakens takes place in outer space, while A New Hope takes place in Dallas, but A New Hope has several scenes where the characters discuss how cool it would be to live in space. Coincidence? Okay…maybe. I’ll cut them some slack on that one.

7 – if u like starwars ur so dumb lol!!!!!!!!

8 – Both films feature parentage as a major theme, which is totally unrealistic.

9 – Both films have Harrison Ford pretending that he understands what that gorilla is saying. If it talked in sign language like Koko, I’d buy it, but no way can anybody decipher that gibberish. Why would J.J. rip off that part? Rule of thumb: If you’re ripping off somebody else’s hard work, pick and choose the elements you steal. Leave out the gorilla.

10 – Aside from those things above, the two films are pretty different.

Freezer Begins

So I’ve started a new novella called Freezer. Suspense/horror with a generous helping of dark comedy.

I often get asked if I outline my books or not, and the answer is: “Sometimes.” I usually only outline if the editor makes me, as with Dweller. Otherwise, I just like to have a general idea of where things are headed.

Freezer has a lot of characters for a book that’ll probably only be about 20,000 words, so I decided that this time I’d better do a little more advance planning. I wrote a detailed outline of a little more than half of the book, along with a couple of lines about each character. The outline ends on a cliffhanger and I’ll figure things out when I get there.

 

Pointy Canes

Christmas 2015 is over…but there’s plenty of time to anticipate Christmas 2016! Get in the holiday spirit with the anthology Christmas Horror, published by Dark Regions Press and illustrated by Zach McCain.

Acquire your copy HERE

Welcome to 2016!

Five days late…

Well, the end of 2015 threw me a nice big curveball. I ended up spending quite a while hanging out in a hospital in Anchorage, Alaska, where after bouncing back and forth from “Things are going to be okay!” “Things suck!” “Things are going to be okay!” “Things suck!” my dad, in the end, didn’t make it.

This meant that my novel The Odyssey of Harriett spent a ridiculous amount of time being “almost done” before it became “done.” But it’s done now and off to my agent. Finally!!!

Now I can focus on other projects. There are going to be a lot of them. The scary deadlines are everywhere. There’ll be another YA comedy. An adult horror novel. A horror novella. Another horror novella. Stay tuned!

Welcome to Gleefully Macabre!

Welcome to my website! Whether you were brought here by interest in my work or a Google search gone terribly wrong, I encourage you to hang around and start clicking away!

The hardcover limited edition of Wolf Hunt 2 is now available! Get it from Dark Regions Press or the paperback edition from Amazon. Or get it for your Kindle!

My new novel, Kumquat, is now available! Get the Kindle edition or the print edition from Amazon!

My new young adult comedy, I Have A Bad Feeling About This, is now available at the brick-and-mortar bookstore or online retailer of your choice! Being a young adult is not a requirement to read the book.

(P.S.: People who leave reviews on Amazon deserve great big hugs!)

Friend me on Facebook ! Follow me on Twitter ! Like my Facebook Fan Page! Friend me on Goodreads!

Nostalgia

How I long for the days of 1 degree above zero…

  

C-c-c-cold

I haven’t been updating my site because I’ve been in Alaska for a family emergency. Look at this crap!

  

CREEPERS on VOD!

Yes! It’s been on Blu-Ray for a while, but Creepers is now available on Amazon Video-on-Demand and Vimeo!

This horror anthology film contains adaptations of stories by Joe Lansdale, Edgar Allan Poe, Lafcadio Hearn, and me! I wrote the script for the third segment, “Gave Up The Ghost,” which was directed by Gregory Lamberson.

Rent it NOW!!!

Werewolves and Gals in Blue Masks

With the craziness of the Halloween season comes a lack of time for website updates. So I’ve missed a bunch of stuff. But here are a trio of links:

I was interviewed by The Gal in the Blue Mask as part of her 31 Days of Horror. If you don’t want to read an interview with me, there’s PLENTY of other stuff from those 31 days, so check it out.

I did a werewolf roundtable discussion with Ray Garton, Jonathan Janz, and Glenn Rofle, organized by John Everson and moderated by W.D. Gagliani. If you like werewolves, and you know that you do, head on over to Not Now, Mommy’s Reading.

I’ll be at the Spooky Empire convention in Orlando this weekend, which is screening “Chomp” on Saturday as part of their film festival.

Things will sort-of calm down in November. Or WILL they…?