Chris Cicchinelli's Blog, page 2

The Season of Giving Back

It’s the season of giving… back to the customers who supported you and your small business during this past year! These are the people who have bought from you, are on your contact list for potential sales, or just support your business. They are your livelihood. How are you going to show your appreciation?  

When I think about how I’ve given back, my home city, Cincinnati, is at the top of my list. Pure Romance could’ve picked up and moved to any city: Austin, Portland, Atlanta… the choices were endless, but my mom and I decided to stay. This was a strategic decision. We wanted the local community to grow from our business and the countless jobs we created. After many years, we’ve reinvested into the city and created millions of dollars in revenue for local hotels, conference rooms, and restaurants for our Partners.  I helped it grow because it’s the city that made me who I am today.

As I’ve matured with my business, I’ve taken time to focus on developing and growing Living With Change with my wife, Jessica. This is a nonprofit that supports trans youth and their families and gives back to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital. I’m beyond grateful that Jessica and I have the resources to help other families in Cincinnati and beyond.

As you can see, giving back  has become intentional in my personal life and it can be intentional in yours too.  Your customers see  they’re not just another statistic or sale, but they are an individual you want to continue your relationship with. No matter what time of the year it is, implement these tips into your business and hope that a customer will shop with you again.

5 Tips for Giving BackWrite thank-you notes

Consider sending a handwritten letter to your top customers or all of them if you’re feeling generous with your time! Thank-you cards aren’t as common as they used to be because they take time, effort, and, sometimes, additional research of their address. If you send customers a card, your brand becomes associated with a deeper level of thoughtfulness and care.  

Throw a party

People miss being together and seeing familiar faces. If you feel comfortable, throw an exclusive party for your top customers. Be sure to offer them products with a larger price cut that you wouldn’t offer to just any old customer. This party will remind them that you value them and appreciate their continuous support.

Send Customers a Special Something

Your customers have invested in you and your company, so why not invest back in them? Find a financially stable way to send a small token of appreciation as a thank-you for their support. Create your own DIY product gift sets with something as small as new product samples to remind them of why they love your company so much.

Call and leave a message

Calling customers is a great way to catch up with them, let them know about any possible sales, and thank them for their support in 2021. If a person doesn’t answer, leave a voicemail that keeps them up-to-date on everything happening with your company. A great business strategy is to go back into your records and ask your previous customer if they need a refill on certain products they bought in the past. 

Give a special discount

Everyone loves a deal! Reach out to your top customers over email, social media, or text and let them know you’re thanking them by giving them a “special” and “exclusive” customer discount. If you don’t feel comfortable throwing an in-person party, this is the next best option! An extra bonus is the possibility to make more revenue and strengthen your relationship with previous buyers.

No matter what time of year it is, you can always implement these tips into your business to create a better relationship with your customers! Giving back allows you to stay connected with your customers which can increase the lifetime value of the relationship you have with them. These steps can be time consuming, and you may have to invest some of your own money, but you could turn a one-time customer into a possible lifetime customer! If I’ve learned anything, to be successful you have to invest in others and continue to give back to your customers. Find your own version of Cincinnati and go the extra mile. Trust me, it will pay off in the end. 

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Making “Shift” Happen

If you’ve joined me on “Rise and Grind” recently, either on Facebook or Zoom, you may have heard me talk about “making shift happen” on a few different occasions. I repeat this during meetings because, as much as entrepreneurs need to hear it, I need to be reminded to make shift happen too.

It’s important to surround yourself with people who practice the motto. If you don’t live by this concept yet, the good thing is there’s always room for growth.

What does it mean to make “shift” happen?

If you make shift happen, you’re adaptable to your environment. Then, when you’re presented with a challenge, you shift your perspective, think creatively, and get the job done. This concept is for the go-getters in the world, the people who are excited to chase the next big thing and implement their ideas to the fullest. I would like to think that my mom, Patty, the leaders in positions of prestige at Pure Romance, and myself are all people who live by this motto daily.

If this concept is foreign and uncomfortable to you, try to look at things in a different way. Pretend you’re part of a soccer team. You’re always sitting on the bench during games, while the rest of your team is out playing. You watch as your teammates adapt to their competitor’s strategy and skill. Meanwhile, your coach continues to bench you, game after game. So, what do you do? Welcome shift into your life and find ways to gradually step outside of your comfort zone. Show your team what you’ve got, whether it’s great defense, foot work, or speed. To succeed, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. If you start to make shift happen, you will become an indispensable part of the team and score big.

Shifting in Uncertain and Distracting Times

I’ve battled with how COVID-19 is changing the face of my business. Currently, thousands of Pure Romance products are stuck in a shipping container somewhere across the United States. As much as I would like, I can’t change the outcome of the situation. These circumstances remind me that as much as people try to avoid problems throughout life, new ones will always find a way to creep into your routine.

Where most people fail when shifting is they appear panicked and chaotic under pressure when all eyes are on them. For me, it’s different. Do I panic in front of my peers and appear anxious that the holidays are coming, and some of our inventory hasn’t arrived? No. Maybe I would have when I first started off at Pure Romance, but what I’ve learned over the years is that people feed off the energy present in the room. When you’re the person in charge of it all, you have to remain calm in order to effectively lead and shift the perspective.

Summing It Up

Make shift happen because, in the end, things usually work out. A big reminder we and our panicking peers need to say is “the world isn’t going to end over this one problem.” While I wait for my shipping containers to make it to Ohio, I’ve strategized with my team and pivoted our strategy for success.

Continue to access your goals and how you can shift to be a better team player and reach better end results. Don’t let the coach bench you, fight to be a player in the game. 

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Be A Closer

Want to be a seller? You have to be a closer too.

We learn to be sellers of products. How many times did you set up a neighborhood lemonade stand when you were little? You tried out your charm with a big smile and wave to see if you’d get any attention from possible customers. As you got older, you may have signed up to be a Girl Scout and walk door to door in a brown uniform selling over-priced, yet coveted Thin Mints. If you were like some of my friends, you joined the Boy Scouts and tried to sell popcorn to all the school moms. We all knew that one kid who was getting ahead in life by selling popular school items “under the table.” Many of us learned how to strategically sell things through trial-and-error stemming from different childhood experiences. After learning how to be a salesman at a young age, I’ve made note of a few key pointers.

 The #1 Thing to Remember:

You are either a buyer or a seller, no in-between. That means you need to understand your role and practice it well. Start by preparing your sales pitch for a diverse group of clientele to increase your revenue pool. Not everyone is going to be the same age, gender, or from the same region. The sooner you’re able to cater to multiple audiences, the sooner your sales pitch will close the deal.

Three Rules To Follow

 

1. Listen

When you listen to others, you’re more likely to learn something new that you can implement into your own business habits.

People have mentors for a reason. If you don’t have one already, I challenge you to find someone who fits ideas and values similar to your own. I’ve always been a big fan of Warren Buffett and have learned a lot about selling by listening and reading about his success in business. I’ve also learned that it’s ok to take a break from being the leader and sit in the passenger seat while another person drives. If you sit back and listen, you’ll come out stronger than before.

 2. Believe in your message

As the seller of a product, people are always going to give you excuses for why they “can’t” buy what you’re selling. Maybe someone is hesitant about trying a new skin care regimen because they have sensitive skin. Meanwhile, another person doesn’t want to invest in the product because they aren’t sure if they like one of the ingredients.

When you’re having trouble with a buyer like this, the most important thing you can do is to believe in your message and not let your guard down. Once you show a person that you may have some doubts about the product or are unsure of a certain question, you lose the deal. To be a closer, you have to know the facts and have a positive attitude! Focus on what your product CAN do and become a storyteller by explaining how the product fits into the consumers lives and can make it easier.

 3. Be a team player

Selling is ultimately about collaboration and networking. If you burn bridges with people, are late to meetings, or have a negative mindset, your sales will reflect that. I’ve been in sales long enough to see people at the top of their game make one mistake and boom, they’re struggling to get by. Be there for others because one day when you need help, you will find people who will be there for you.

Marketing and selling is about incorporating healthy habits into your business practice. It can be a competitive environment but if you create enemies instead of alliances, you will only get so far. Find your own version of Warren Buffet, take a ride in the passenger seat, and if all else fails, think of the sales strategies you implemented when you were younger for some inspiration. You’re a seller, but you’re also a closer.

 

 

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The Four Agreements

Life is unpredictable. Sometimes it can hit you where it hurts, right in the wallet. 

I’m thankful to have a go-to group of CEOs I can reach out to when looking for guidance in my business. Sometimes three or four of us will get together for drinks at a local bar and bounce strategy off each other. We cover every topic: workplace environment, how our favorite teams are playing this season, future investments, and what’s going on with our kids.

Even though we’re the CEOs of companies across the country, we bond over small and large mistakes we’ve made over the years. It may sound alarming that CEOs are making mistakes, but we’re all human. It’s the mistakes we’ve made that we’ve learned and grown the most from.

The Four Agreements is a book written by Don Miquel Ruiz in 1997. It outlines a practice you can follow in your personal life, but I’ve adapted the core values and altered them to fit into my life and this is why I’m sharing them on my blog.

The Four Agreements for Business

 

 1. Be impeccable with your word     

Simply stated: deliver on what you offered. Does your company say they will deliver things on time? Maybe you’ve promised the best customer service.

Make. It. Happen.

If you stick to what you’ve said in the past, you earn a higher level of respect and trust in the office. Continue to use excuses on why things “can’t happen” and you dig yourself into a hole where people question your work or your products.

One of the biggest ways you can deliver is to “inspect what you expect to get respect.” 

This process takes extra time and effort but sticking to your word in the business world is the honorable thing to do.   

2. Do not take things personally

We’ve all heard it before… 99 people could tell us we did an amazing job on something, but it’s the one negative comment that sticks with us. Changing your mindset is one of the hardest things to do but once you alter it, your brain defogs, and the problem is no longer personal. It’s strategic.

As the CEO of a company or entrepreneur of your own business, it’s easy to get annoyed with people when a task isn’t done correctly, or there’s a problem in the office. The problem was likely going to occur anyway, that individual just happened to be the person attached to it. You’ll create a more harmonious work life for you and your peers when you’re able to separate the problem from the person.

When it comes to taking things personally, it’s important to give a little and get a little. Any person in any position can get offended and sit on their high horse, or they can remind themselves that they are a part of a process and not every process is easy.

 3. Don’t make assumptions

Assuming you know something, but don’t is the biggest pitfall of any person in business. There’s a reason why the first three letters in the word spell out “ass.” In many cases when a person assumes, they move on from the problem before it’s ever officially fixed. The biggest way to alter this harmful habit is to go back and assess before moving on.

Fixing a problem before it occurs is a powerful superpower. Only a few people truly have that skill. If you inspect instead of assuming, you’re golden.

 4. Always do your best

It’s cliché, but still nice to hear. Follow this list and you’re all set!

– Stop going through things just to check boxes in your daily life.

-Wake up every day and do a mental check in of what you expect from yourself.

-Write down one goal you want to accomplish each day.

No matter how big or small your business is, there’s likely someone who’s going through a similar experience. Befriend this person. You can talk certain ideas, or problems out with them and introduce them to the four agreements. In the end, you can find more freedom in your business with a little help from these four simple steps.

 

 

 

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ABC Easy as 1, 2, 3

Success doesn’t happen overnight, and you shouldn’t believe anyone who tells you differently. My success story spans an eight-year period, where my mom, Patty, and I drove some of the first Pure Romance products in a U-Haul across the country.  

Patty challenged me at first. She refused to drive for more than eight hours. Like any good son, I stretched the truth just so we could get from point A to point B without having to make unnecessary pit stops or spend the extra money we didn’t have on a hotel room for the night.  

“We’ll be in Baltimore in seven hours,” I’d say, knowing we’d be in the car for at least another nine.

The hundreds of miles I drove each day were exhausting and I did have some FOMO when I would hear from my friends having fun back home in Cincinnati. For eight years, I willingly signed up for this lifestyle because I knew Patty and I were onto something big that would benefit women everywhere! It was this determination that drove Patty and me to find success in each city we visited. Looking back, it was all the time spent in the car with my mom and the person-to-person marketing in every city that helped contribute to our success. During these car rides, we had nothing to do other than talk. We spent time ironing out what did and didn’t work so we could build on the success of our growing business. 

You can work towards success, but, like some people I know, you can also lose it. I’ve learned three steps that are as easy as the ABCs. Learn and apply these steps to your own life.    

1. Examine the Patterns and Look For Repetition 

 Success should taste the same every time you achieve something great. Just like a chef, you have to follow a recipe and/or pattern to end up with the same delicious meal. If you gamble with things in the kitchen and ignore the “fan-favorite” recipe, you risk the quality of your brand and receiving complaints from customers.

Our business was able to advance because each day on the road Patty and I asked each other what did and didn’t work. Eventually, we found a pattern that worked for us, but it didn’t come without a fair share of stumbling, learning, and regrouping along the way. After we found the pattern that worked best for us, we repeated it in each city. There is a reward in repetition in our daily routines, in our businesses and in all things we do.

In business, personal, or private life, it can be hard to assess a pattern and be honest about what is and isn’t working. The quicker you look for the patterns of repetition, the quicker you can weed out the bad and repeat the great.

2. Add Value

You’ll find progress in your day when you make the conscious effort to add value into each moment. Adding value means you actively listen, take notes, and ask questions that add to the conversation or topic up for discussion.

 I’ve been in business for more than 20 years now and can easily point out someone in a room who is taking up space, doodling in the margins of a legal pad, or scrolling through their Instagram feed. It’s up to you if you want to make an effort in your day or be a conscious bystander waiting for a meeting to end. Don’t forget, you’re in the room for a reason. Like it or not, someone will always have an eye on you and your value to the company. A great founder of a billion dollar company used to say if you don’t contribute to a meeting, you shouldn’t be in that meeting and he wouldn’t invite you back. That has always stuck with me. But it goes back to having something valuable to add, versus just talking to talk.

Make yourself indispensable and soon enough, your hard work will be rewarded. 

3. Think for Yourself

Great ideas don’t come because of someone who followed in the footsteps of another person. You probably know this already, but great ideas were born because someone dared to think differently.

Some say Patty and I were crazy traveling from town to town selling “taboo” women’s products, but we had a common understanding that we were serving a specific market and need. Look where it got us! Instead of just thinking for myself, I was able to double down and think strategically, solving any problems along the way.

When you follow someone instead of thinking for yourself, you no longer challenge unique thoughts or ideas. The independence of your mind is the key that unlocks the accomplishments you will build on and experience later down the road.

 Success looks and is defined differently by each person. We can all sing the ABCs but have our own timing and pitch. Build on your own parameters for success and focus on how you will achieve greatness in your own life.  

 

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Learning = Evolving

We’re presented with new challenges each day, whether we’re in the office, working from home, or on the go. Learning something new adds to a challenge and can sometimes make our days longer and harder. It’s how we respond to those tougher days that helps us grow.

Let’s take a trip to the not-so-distant past: my senior year of high school. The time came to take the SAT. My score was lower than the average. I worked endlessly to bring my score up from a 630 to a 700 to get into college. The last thing I wanted to do was take time out of my day to study strategy and “test-taking skills.” I wanted to be with my friends and practicing football with my teammates. This was one of the first times in my life when I had to apply learning on a whole new level, but I also began to understand the importance of the process.

I conquered this challenge. I brought my score up and got into college against all the odds. But not after calling every day to see if I was admitted. I practiced endlessly and was open to learning something foreign. With all of the calling and studying, I learned a lifelong lesson, “commit to the process and turn practice into habit.” And if you want something, you really can’t leave it to fate, you have to be persistent. I could have put the SAT on the back burner, but if I had, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Over the years I’ve learned how to overcome some of the challenges of learning new things and the strategy involved in this…

Learning Challenge #1

It’s a well-known fact that I’ve always been a big fan of football! I love the strategy, the teamwork, and the skills that build off each other resulting in a great team. I coach my son Max’s fifth grade football team and it has come with its fair share of learning challenges. I’ve been playing football for years, but, recently, I’ve had to figure out how to communicate with fifth graders. Video game obsessed, easily distracted, high energy, 10–11-year-olds. I have to capture their attention and use a language they can understand to keep it.

SOLUTION: Watch + Listen + Do

Max and his teammates needed to learn how to be observant. People learn in all different ways, so I switched things up and decided to show instead of tell. I started recording all of their plays for each game. After the game, I reviewed the footage and went over the plays with the team.

Because of this change, the players are learning in a new way, and I can communicate with them better than before. They watch the recorded video, listen to critiques, and either try to do the same play again or alter it to be more successful. Now, we as a team are able to learn with ease and we’re more successful than ever.

The Watch + Listen + Do rule can be applied to any area of life. Try it when you face your next challenge. See if you get different results and a better learning outcome.

Learning Challenge #2

Your supervisor at work wants you to learn how to use the new company app so you can be more knowledgeable about sales, increase customer retention, and be up to date on new products in the market. You may be reluctant to change your habits and push this off as long as possible, deciding you know how to do your job best. When your supervisor comes to check-in on you and the work you’ve done, you lie and say the app was malfunctioning and hard to work with.

SOLUTION: Cut the B.S. – Go back and put in the time!

Procrastination is one of knowledge’s biggest competitors. You know you’re going to have to eventually learn how to work this app, so why waste time and lie to your supervisor? The lies will catch up with you and so will your long to-do list. You might even see a negative change in your sales if you don’t start using the app.

Cutting the B.S. allows for a more vulnerable and trustworthy environment. When you’re honest with your coworkers, it creates a healthier and less competitive work environment.  

Learning takes time and, depending on the task, it can be exhausting. I assure you that with your newfound knowledge, you’ll become a stronger decision maker who can weigh options for the best solution.

Remember, just like me studying for the SAT and calling to check on my admission status day after day, you didn’t work hard at something new for nothing. You have to commit and turn that commitment into a lifelong habit! Soon, your hard work and time will be rewarded with the fact that you are now a better problem-solver, both in your professional and personal life. Be an observant person. Cut the B.S. because in the end, it’s exhausting for you and everyone else involved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Disney’s Business Practices Applied to Life

Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida is celebrating its  50th anniversary over the next 18 months! You may be surprised to find out… that’s just the age of the Florida theme park, Disney Land opened in 1955. Founder Walt Disney actually sold his first cartoon almost 100 years ago. As a brand that shares magic, storytelling, and experiences, Disney is recognized worldwide. We, as entrepreneurs, can take lessons from this legacy company to use in our businesses.

Take a look at this Walt Disney quote: “Whatever you do, do it well. Do it so well that when people see you do it, they will want to come back and see you do it again and again, and they will want to bring others and show them how well you do what you do.”

We’re always auditioning for that next event or opportunity. Every experience is a brand promise that you deliver to people. Disney is famous for being all about the experience, from its theme parks, to its movies, to its stores. 

The fact of the matter is, they didn’t become a leading company “magically” overnight. The secret of Disney’s brand is: strategy. 

I’ve been in the business world for over 30 years building and branding my own story of success. Looking at the success of Disney and his companies there are three recurring elements. These have helped me greatly in my experiences and can help any entrepreneur.

Create the Brand Story

No one wants to only hear about a list of chemicals in a product or the endless benefits of “this” and “that.” People crave a connection and a story associated with a brand. Disney has created their brand story through the use of their iconic logo. The Mickey Mouse logo was first paired with the famous cartoon but now, it represents creativity, enthusiasm, and imagination. They have reused this image for years and still continue to make billions of dollars in revenue each year. 

Instead of changing their logo as new trends come and go, they stuck with Mickey ears and a castle because that’s what people have been comforted by for so long. This logo builds on the brand story that anything is possible whether a princess is trying to escape from a dragon or a lion fights for his rightful place on the throne. In the end, people obsess over Disney and their famous logo because they want to believe they can find optimism and “magic” in their own lives. 

How has your brand changed lives? Why does your product mean so much to you? Every brand needs a story. Once you decide how you’re going to tell yours, you’re golden.

Understand Your Audience 

Arguably, this is the most important thing a brand needs to understand in order to succeed. Let’s go back to the Disney example. They market themselves as a brand for the “entire family to enjoy.” When parents started to stress concern about their daughters’ watching movies where princesses needed men to save them, Disney listened, pivoted their brand, and came out with Frozen… a movie that flooded the markets, Halloween costumes, and even Broadway. 

As a brand, Disney took the time to assess the needs of their audience and altered their entire company. I know from personal experience that it’s easy to be critical of people who don’t support your brand or talk negatively about your company. I’ve found that instead of being critical, I need to listen to some of my critics to see if my company can somehow address their needs. In the end, it’s up to your brand to bridge the gap between the customer and product. 

Design Experiences

How do you want your brand to make other people feel? Disney does not sell to people and forget them. Instead, they check in on their customers time and time again developing a strong relationship. It’s these specific experiences your brand builds that keep customers coming back for more. Your brand has the power to make people feel and think a certain way. How you design your brand and make an impact is completely up to you. 

If the happiest place on earth can cater to both adults and children, stay flexible to changing environments, and design life-long memories, the possibilities for your brand potential are endless! My advice, don’t get overwhelmed by all of this information at once. Take a small bite, digest, and determine how you can put your plan into action. 

 

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You Have 24 Hours in a Day, Spend Them Wisely

Part of me will always feel like I’m back in college ready to rally the team on the football field, or travel to the different corners of the world. As I’ve gotten older, time only goes faster. I’ll blink and suddenly, it’s a new year, my kids are five inches taller, there’s another new social media outlet, and soon enough, I’ll be in the passenger seat, terrified while teaching my oldest how to drive.

Let’s state the obvious here… everyone in life experiences the passage of time. What we miss is this: sometimes, we don’t conquer the time we’re given. Instead, time conquers us!  We all have the power to decide whether each day will be a successful and productive one or if we’d rather waste it watching Netflix.

I’ve made an effort to use my time wisely, honing my skills, and constantly absorbing my surroundings like a sponge. As a CEO, I understand how overwhelming it can be to always have a full inbox, travel to meetings across the country, and listen to countless minute-long voicemails. When I’m not on top of my responsibilities, I face challenges and if I’m not careful, a negative mindset sneaks in.

This fall, I challenge you to make the most of your time as an entrepreneur by following these daily reminders I live by.

Don’t let fear control you 

We live in a world that praises permission and constant gratification. I promise you will be the most successful when you put your fear aside and follow what you know to be true. Create a daily action plan to use as a roadmap. Have the confidence to wave “goodbye” to fear as you settle into your tasks for the day, always knowing what comes next.

CTRL + ALT + Delete 

If you don’t know, CTRL + ALT + Delete reboots your computer. Sometimes, we need our own reboot. Find the things that are limiting your beliefs and strengths so that you can tackle them. CTRL + ALT + Delete! Decide what type of day you are going to have. Don’t rely on other people deciding for you. Want to have a productive and positive day? What’s stopping you? Find clarity. Remind yourself of the power you possess and don’t let your kryptonite drag you in the wrong direction.

Cultivate a growth mindset

Trends and technologies are constantly changing. Just think of how quickly things have blown up over one tweet or a TikTok that’s gone viral. You can absorb your surroundings, learn, change, adapt, and grow as an entrepreneur. Things in the business world can be intimidating, but stay open to possibilities, you’re already one step ahead of the game!

Check your emotions at the door

… Need I say more?

Turn your “shoulds” into “musts” 

Should you call your team? Should you have a meeting? Should you send out an email? No. You MUST call your team. You MUST have a meeting. You MUST send out an email. “Must” will put you at the center of the action. Don’t let the thought of “should” hold you back and waste your valuable time. Go and do!

Don’t test out the water, dive in 

Nerves hold people back as they dip their toes into the water to check the temperature. You wind up in the pool eventually, so just jump. Don’t waste your time outside of the water. Curiosity and willingness make for a powerful duo. Both traits allow you to swim instead of sink.

Day to day work can be grueling and overwhelming. Once you fall behind, it’s difficult to catch up. We all have 24 hours in the day. What are you going to do with them? Stay ahead of the curve. Be proactive. I’ve always said it and I’ll say it again, commit to the process, detach from the outcome. If you commit to these six steps each day, the possibilities for success are endless.

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How to Recover from Setbacks

For entrepreneurs, business owners and other professionals, it’s a challenging world to live in right now. With consumer behavior changing in addition to the uneasy economy, it’s hard to know what the future holds. Navigating new sales and business tactics needed for success can be overwhelming. It’s perfectly normal for you to be feeling pessimistic but you can’t let negative thoughts keep you down.

So, how do you get out of the rut? It starts with confidence. Believing in yourself is a key component when trying to bounce back. But like anything, it’s easier said than done. When you’re ready to get back in the game, use these tips to guide you on your journey to positivity:

  Don’t be too critical of yourself

Some people blame others for setbacks and others take on all the blame. Instead of thinking about what you did or didn’t do to cause a setback, think about how a stranger might interpret the situation. What was your responsibility? Was the setback a direct result of something you were responsible for? My guess is in most cases, the setback was caused by something out of your control.

  Don’t compare yourself to others

As a competitive person, I get it; it’s really easy to want to compare yourself to others and wonder why they’re more successful than you. But the grass is always greener on the other side. You don’t know what other people have sacrificed to find their success. Maybe they have a giant paycheck but have no close relationships. Focus on what you know: yourself.

  Keep your emotions in check

We can’t control other people or how they react. The nice thing is that we do have the power to control our own actions and emotions. To help increase positive feelings, first identify the feelings you’re having. Are you sad? Angry? Make note of what emotion you’re feeling and then try to identify why you’re feeling that way. Then you can assess a plan for changing those feelings from negative to positive.

  Make a plan

Planning for the future is a sure-fire way to get back on track when you’re in a slump. Write down goals, concrete plans and motivational words and phrases. Be sure to write things with pen and paper giving action to your thoughts. Then, when you’ve accomplished something on your list, you will have the satisfaction of being able to cross it off in red pen. I’ve always found that to be extra satisfying in my own work life.

  Take it one step at a time

If the idea of a 5-year plan is too overwhelming, start with a shorter time span. Maybe begin with daily or even hourly goals. Work your way up to broader goals once you’re feeling confident again. Remember, you’re unlikely to be able to do everything you want to do at once. Try taking bite-sized steps to increase the likelihood of success!

  Surround yourself with happy people

Although making friends with “negative Nancy’s” is a noble effort, it’s not going to help you out of a rut. If anything, it will simply make it harder for you to achieve a positive mindset. Find people who see the glass half full versus the glass half empty. They’ll likely be willing to listen when you need to share, but be careful not to overwhelm them with negativity, either. Absorb their positivity and be sure to share your own positivity back with others when they need help. 

Bouncing back from an unexpected setback isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a process and takes time. Start with the first step today and remember to be easy on yourself as you progress.

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There Is No Such Thing as A Stupid Question

“There is no such thing as a stupid question.”

We’ve heard the cliché through many phases of life. When we were eager kids in the classroom, asking a friend for dating advice or even when we were the newbie in the office trying to find our bearings. The phrase seems reassuring, but asking questions, especially in front of a large group of people, can be very intimidating. Putting ourselves out there makes us instantly vulnerable and suddenly, there’s an underlying pressure to present ourselves as “clever” and “well-rounded.”

Think back. You’re sitting in a group of people, you have a burning question you want to ask, but you’re afraid you’ll look foolish or stupid, so you keep it to yourself. Then, someone else asks the question—SAVED! But did you notice, how was that person’s question received? Did they get backlash? Or did they get an answer and the group moved on?

I’d guess that situation has happened dozens of times in your life. Even when you think you are asking a “stupid question,” odds are, someone else is thinking the exact same thing. Someone just needs to break the ice. Why can’t that person be you?

If you’re still fearing embarrassment by asking questions, try following these recommendations to give yourself a confidence boost.

 

    Google It!

Always be learning! And who better to learn from than the all-knowing Google machine? Google is always there to help.

Let’s break down an example. You find yourself part of a tech savvy team and when asked to graph specific statistics on an excel document, you’re completely lost and begin to panic. Before putting yourself in a vulnerable state in front of your coworkers, maybe instead you should Google it! See if you can find a video that will teach you how to navigate excel. There are millions of how-to videos on YouTube, so chances are, you will find one that helps you solve your problem. Even after finding video tutorials, you are still a bit lost, at least the video can give you helpful hints. Now, you can now ask more informed questions with confidence.

    Gauge Your Audience

In many cases, you’ll feel fulfilled and valued when you surround yourself with people who appreciate you. If you feel pressured and judged when asking certain questions, odds are, that audience is not your perfect match. You are the architect of your life and I challenge you to grow relationships with others that harbor a positive and supportive atmosphere where you rarely question yourself or feel insecure. With this supportive audience, any topic is free range and the opportunities for growth are endless.

It also helps to be encouraging to others when they ask tough questions. If you’re in a large group and hear a colleague ask a burning question, celebrate their confidence with something like, “thank you for asking that, I was curious about that, myself.” By building the confidence of others, you might also increase your own confidence.

Practice, Practice, Practice

They say practice makes perfect and it’s absolutely true. The more you experience uncomfortable situations, the easier it becomes to handle them again in the future. Start with groups of friends, family or other people you trust. Try asking silly questions or questions with obvious or even embarrassing answers. Soon, you’ll feel more comfortable with asking questions in bigger scenarios.

 

Questions aren’t inherently stupid. Asking questions is essential to learning. Put your insecurities aside because like it or not, you will need to find answers to complete critical tasks. Stand your ground and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Remember that you are always growing, and you’re capable of the unimaginable. 

And, if all else fails, you can always GOOGLE IT!

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