Rebecca C. Mandeville's Blog, page 2
May 31, 2020
What Dr. King Understood About Rage, Riots, and the Trauma of the Unheard
As an adult survivor of abuse, including sexual abuse in both childhood and adolescence, I know what it feels like to not be heard, seen, or believed, and to feel deeply wounded because the truth of my experiences went unacknowledged and/or were outright denied and invalidated by those possessing the power to do so.
I come from a family that carries multi-generational trauma, which means I was raised to follow the unspoken “rules” common to most every dysfunctional, shame-based family system, th...
May 27, 2020
A Betrayal of Trust: Understanding the Primal Wound of Childhood
In an earlier article, Love At Any Price, I discussed childhood attachment and the development of a ‘false self’. This week I continue this discussion by exploring the concept of ‘the primal wound’ as it relates to psycho-emotional healing and the quest to live an authentic life.
In order to develop a healthy ‘whole’ self, infants and children need to be adequately reflected, seen, and acknowledged by an empathic “container”, this being our family-of-origin, e.g., our original family system.
It...
April 7, 2020
‘Social Distancing’ Holds Another Meaning for Scapegoated Adults
When social structures appear to be falling down all around us as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, the adult survivor of F amily Scapegoating Abuse (FSA) may be uniquely equipped to deal with the psychosocial stressors associated with limited contact with others, as well as social isolation. But does that make them ‘strong’?
The Negative Impact of Social Isolation
Many articles focusing on the psychosocial impact of the coronavirus rightly address the toll that ‘social distancing’ protocols ...
March 25, 2020
Dealing With Pandemic Denial: When You’re Scapegoated for Sheltering-In-Place
Over the past two weeks, many people around the world have been ordered to “shelter-in-place” to prevent the spread of the coronavirus (COVID-19). Those that adhere to these orders are sometimes pressured to violate them by family, friends, and even their employer; when they resist, they may find that they have suddenly become the ‘scapegoat’ because they challenged someone’s denial…
Denial as Part of a Social Epidemic Response Pattern
Lately I’ve encountered many people who appear to be in deni...
March 21, 2020
COVID-19 Total Well-Being Online Resource Guide
I wanted to get out a quick blog post to address the current stress many of us are feeling as a result of the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. Below this message you will find a list of resources that I sent out to my psychotherapy and coaching clients today; it is my hope that the resources, articles, and links I included will contribute positively to you and your loved ones’ mental, emotional, and physical well-being during this global health emergency – particularly those of you who have been...
March 18, 2020
Coronavirus and the Scapegoating of Asian-Americans
When societal order appears to be breaking down and life turns chaotic and unpredictable, we can be easily manipulated into buying into sociopolitical agendas that promote xenophobia and the scapegoating of innocent individuals and groups. This should concern us all…
The Coronavirus and the Scapegoating of Asian-Americans
One of my specialty areas as a Psychotherapist and Educator is integrating Eastern philosophy with Western psychological precepts. This, along with my B.A. in Far Eastern Studi...
February 18, 2020
Recovering from the Narcissistic Parent and C-PTSD
Guest Post by Christian Van Linda
Title: Talking Loud, (they’re) Hearing Nothing
This week’s guest author is Christian Van Linda, whose writing I first came across on social media. I was taken by Christian’s elegant, poignant writing style, and his determination to dig deep into his own intrapsychic processes so he could “feel, heal, and deal”.
Important Note: All that is expressed belongs to the author alone. As a clinician, I do not recommend going off one’s medication without the supervision ...
February 5, 2020
16 Experiences Common to Adult Survivors of Family Scapegoating Abuse
“How do I know if I’m in the ‘family scapegoat’ role?” I hear this question often from clients in my counseling and coaching practices. R eviewing the following sixteen experiences that are common to scapegoated children and adults can also be a way to determine if you are (or have been) in the ‘family scapegoat’ role:
“Am I the ‘Family Scapegoat?”
You may identify as being ‘codependent’ or ‘highly sensitive’ and ‘empathic’. You may ‘fawn’ (people-please) to avoid conflict. Alternatively, y...
