Jane VerMulm's Blog, page 2

A New Silent Majority

Some of us are old enough to have known about the phrase “silent majority” as used by Nixon back in the day to describe voters who were occupying the middle ground between three presidential candidates in 1968. The phrase indicated the many people in our country that don’t protest or voice their political opinions loudly in public.

Trump tried to revitalize the phrase to describe his own supporters, but it backfired. I think the reason is that he misjudged, along with a multitude of other things, who the silent majority is.

The new silent majority is actually very diverse. They are the core of our society. Those who don’t care to be involved in public displays of political views. They are Democrats and Republicans and Independents that consider it their duty to vote for the person they choose, but don’t think that they have to share that information with anyone else. Voting is a private process for a reason.

The silent majority are Americans of every race and religion that go about their days working in every realm, raising families in every city, and minding their own business, not getting involved in vicious, violent protests of any kind. They may feel very strongly about issues that others are protesting publicly about, but they either lack the chance, the time, the money, or the ability to enter into such public protests. They use the voting booth to influence the nation.

The silent majority understand that the only other way they can truly change this world is the way they treat their own sphere of influence. They know that if they treat those around them with kindness and respect, they will usually get kindness and respect back. They understand that the only person they can truly change is themselves.

There are, certainly, some issues in our country and world that need to be addressed. Along with the silent majority, I think that some changes need to be made. But the violence and vitriol that has dominated the media in the last few years is a heartbreaking attempt to make that change. Can we not make the changes without it? The prophet Isaiah shares God’s desire to work out his relationship with his people, and I think it is a good admonition for people to use with others as well. “Come, let us reason together,” and work out the differences between us without violence.

Our country needs the silent majority to keep doing what they do. Keep working, keep changing, keep influencing. Perhaps opening up to speak in reasoned voices, instead of vicious screams, about what we believe to the people who can make the changes, like our duly elected representatives. No matter what your political view, they will surely listen more easily to reason than attack. Silence in the face of such need is not the way to obtain the changes we want. Maybe we could try instead to be the quietly reasonable majority, and our influence will be more surely felt.

Familiarity breeds….

Since Geoffrey Chaucer coined the phrase back in the 1300s, familiarity breeds contempt has become a common understanding in our social psyche. In almost every relationship, the more we know about the person, the more chance there is that we find something that is unlikable.

The thing is, we still need to get along with others. What good is it to hold onto those unlikable characteristics? I would like to think that familiarity breeds what you allow it to breed. If you let it breed contempt, it will ruin a relationship. If you let it breed complacency, you will drag the relationship into the muck.

When we are first enamored with a relationship, whether it is a friendship or a romantic one, we work at being close to the person. We spend hours talking or having fun together, and look for ways to learn more about the person. I submit that this energy is very hard to sustain through a longer relationship. We do tend to take our closest relationships for granted, become complacent, or we start to see the things that we don’t care for in that person.

But it is very important to be purposeful in allowing the first enthusiasm for the relationship to infuse the longstanding relationship. Don’t allow the contempt or complacency to breed. Instead, make time to really communicate with your friend or spouse or significant other. Set aside date nights, or times with friends where you don’t do the usual, but just ask the sometimes difficult questions and address the subjects that need addressing, rather than just letting them slide.

My husband spent a summer in college working with a missionary couple in Kenya. They were a great influence on him, and one of the things that he took away was a great little reminder about relationships. Sometimes it is the annoying habits of a person that become the endearing characteristics during a relationship. If you have a long term relationship, don’t allow your familiarity to breed contempt or complacency. Let it breed endearment, love, and forgiveness!

Historical Treasure

As you may pick up when you read my blogs, and certainly my book, I love history. I have always been interested in history, and although many people think of it as uninteresting dates, names and dusty old events that don’t matter, I beg to differ.

The thing is, dusty old events lead to a progression in our world – which leads to our own situations eventually. That is why in school they called it Social Studies! My passion is also in looking at what life was like for all those people who were not the names we had to memorize, and who were not necessarily involved in the dusty old events.

I used to imagine becoming a history teacher, and coming to class as a teacher in each era that we covered. If we were studying the Civil War, I would come dressed as a woman in the Civil War. I would have tried to get into the character, like all those museum and living history guides at historical monuments. If I had the chance, I suppose I would love doing that for a job. Because to me, that makes history relevant. What would my life be like back then?

This is what makes history come alive, and I submit to you that we have historical treasures everywhere. My next book is taking shape, and it is set at the beginning of the 1900’s. I am doing research, studying books and newspapers for details, as usual, and it also happens that I am drawing from the treasures I have collected during my life. These treasures come from the stories that I have sat and listened to from family and friends older than me.

Our senior citizen population is a treasure trove of ideas and descriptions that make history come alive! I am writing about a girl coming of age in the First World War. My grandparents lived their young lives at the same time, so I am remembering stories from them when I am thinking about what life was like.

Now, you may not be writing a book, or even think history is that interesting right now, but I think it would be invaluable to you if you would take the time to talk with someone older than you about what life was like. There is wisdom and experience that could shed some light on what you feel is a modern day problem, if you are only willing to search for historical treasure!

WOW! Covid!

Wow, Covid, Wow! At what could only be considered the nastiest timing, on the day before my release date for Finding Paradise, I began experiencing symptoms of Covid -19. Sure enough, I was positive in the test I took a couple of days later.

I count myself one of the lucky ones, who had mild symptoms, and was perfectly fine sheltering at home. Some of my friends didn’t fare as well, ending up in hospitals. Even my husband had a harder time with his. He was diagnosed 2 days before I was, and although he was able to stay at home he really suffered debilitating headaches. But my low grade fever and body aches and loss of appetite clung ferociously for almost 3 weeks, leaving me feeling weak, exhausted, and lonely.

I have, as usual, thought in my weird mind, of an analogy. If I was a person who knew how to create one of those funny film GIFs, it would look like this: Covid hitting hard is a person starting to cross the street, and then getting hit by a bus. The ambulance comes and scoops them up, and they either never come home, or come back home a couple of weeks later with casts everywhere to recover slowly. Covid hitting “mildly” is someone starting to cross the street, when a bus sideswipes them, catching their clothing or something, and keeps driving for 2-4 weeks with them dangling and trying to get loose the whole time. Finally, the bus stops and they free themselves, but they are, as you can imagine, quite bedraggled and wobbly.

Don’t let anyone fool you into thinking this is just your run-of-the-mill cold or flu. It hits suddenly, and even with the mild symptoms, saps the strength from you like a leech. I am very slowly gaining strength, and will probably be back in “circulation” within the week. I hope you haven’t got it, won’t get it, and if you do, I pray you will recover!

Pay Attention!

I have started reading and watching and researching for my next book, and as someone who really enjoys that, I hope I can convey a message to you: Pay Attention!

Research is taking me to the beginning of the 20th Century. Many of the happenings and ideas that were considered to be run-of-the mill, commonly held and believed to be true have now been proven to be false, unscientific, and terrible. My thought when reading about the eugenics movement, for instance was “how could scientists actually believe this stuff?” and “how come people aren’t taught about this horrible history?” Indeed, if we wipe out and forget some of our horrible history, we are condemned to repeat it, to paraphrase George Santayana.

So my challenge is this. Pay attention! What do you believe to be true? What is the proof? What do you say that might, in 20 or 50 or 100 years be considered ridiculous or horrible? How do you act, and how might it be viewed by your children and grandchildren? I hope that introspection and forethought win out in my own life and work, so that I might leave a legacy of love and care for those I come in contact with.

Small Accomplishments?

This website is a struggle for me. I am of the generation that grew up thinking communication like this was of the Star Trek variety, pretty much a fantasy. My first contact with a computer was the one in the counselor’s office in high school where you could run a program that asked questions about yourself and told you what types of work fit your profile. Nobody I knew as a senior in high school had a computer at home.

But now, I have a website and blog, because I love to write, and have a book soon to be released, and it seems to be the way to promote these things. When I am trying to build this site, I am sure you who are computer literate out there would cringe and laugh at this pitiful entrepreneur. I get so confused sometimes that I give up. There is a whole new language to learn, a whole new culture to understand!

So today I celebrate “small accomplishments,” like when I figure out how to put icons with links on the page so you can order my book. It took me at least two days and much anxiety to figure this out. It feels like a reason to celebrate to me! Others have said to me that they think my writing is a hugely big deal. To me, it comes naturally, so it feels like a small accomplishment.

Maybe the point is that we need to celebrate both small and large accomplishments! We all need to insert celebration into our lives. Celebrate the small accomplishment of getting out of bed in the morning, which may be a huge accomplishment to someone! Look for ways to celebrate, my friends, and live a life of joy!

A Little Test

The couple walking down the boardwalk beside the beach were obviously in love. They were only holding hands and talking happily together, but the glow was unmistakable.

His dark hair was dripping from just getting out of the water, and it ran in rivulets down his well muscled torso. He laughed out loud at something she said, his brown eyes widening.

She smiled, her white teeth accentuated by lovely red lipstick. She had dark hair, and her beautiful brown eyes twinkled at having made him laugh. Her pretty figure was just barely covered with a colorful smock, revealing glimpses of a bikini underneath it.

Now comes the test. Who are they? Who do you picture in your mind? I tried to formulate the description to fit about 75-80 percent of the entire world. The young couple could be on a beach anywhere in the world. They could be of any number of races. They could be a couple of mixed races. I suspect that most people will have pictured a young couple of their own race, if they are honest with themselves, because the scene I described is a happy one. If I had described something with more negative emotions, perhaps you would imagine someone of a different race.

In this day and age, I believe it is important for us to recognize in ourselves the unconscious biases that we hold. The thing is, just like with many other problems in life, this racial problem won’t go away unless we recognize what part we play in the perpetuation of the issue, and change ourselves. We cannot change other people. We can only change our own thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and actions. I encourage you to think about this little test, and consider what you can do to make this world a kinder one!

Political, Schmolitical!

It seems that everything these days is considered political. This drives me bonkers.

Politics, as defined in the Cambridge Dictionary, are “the activities of the government, members of law-making organizations, or people who try to influence the way a country is governed.”  Therefore, political means having to do with the activities of the government.

This, of course, covers a wide range of laws and topics. But what starts me chewing on the furniture is the way people in the media try to make everything political. The response to COVID19 is not political. The heavy doses of politics added to the mix of news makes it very confusing.

Media, whether national or social, also tends to frantically try to place everyone who has an opinion in a certain political box, labeled liberal Democrat, or conservative Republican. The problem with that is that nobody wants to be in a box. Human beings, for the most part, are very hard to pin down and define.

Believe it or not, there are a great many of us who hold beliefs very passionately that place us firmly on the fence between the political divide that has been constructed by the media. For instance, I believe abortion is murder, there should not be a border wall, and that Black Lives Matter. I don’t think anyone, no matter what race, creed, sex, or sexual orientation should be accorded special privileges, nor should they be discriminated against. I think that those in authority should be respected and obeyed, but if they are doing something that is against what God’s law tells us, they should be peacefully protested. I think that COVID19 is a serious illness that threatens our world, and we should be cautious, but that ultimately, we are all in God’s hands.

So I balk at any definition of a political nature. In these hyper-political times, I try to live according to my belief. I am so frustrated by the political process, but I know it is necessary. I will continue to seek to find the truth of what candidates stand for, if it is out there, and I will vote. I pray that God will guide all of us!

My Vow

My heart is heavy with all the racism and violence in our country and world. It seems the evil in this world is rampant, and there is so much that we couldn’t possibly do anything.

While contemplating this, my mind composed a vow, which I will share with you. My final thought in this poem is one that shows my faith, and what I know to be the only hope for us in the face of so much evil.

My Vow

By Jane Ver Mulm

Until…

No child goes hungry,

No one is treated unfairly,

No human being is considered someone’s property or punching bag,

No person is considered less than another.

No child is afraid,

No one is unheard,

No human being is looked on with malice or hatred because of who they are,

No person suffers injustice.

Every child is loved and cherished,

Everyone is valued,

Every human being is recognized as a member of the human race,

Every person has dignity and worth.

I vow…

To speak up,

To stand with,

To care for,

To protest the wrong,

To feed,

To treat fairly,

To not attack,

To listen,

To recognize ill will in myself and curb it,

To love, cherish, value, recognize, and hold…

Every child,

Everyone,

Every human being,

Every person I meet as valuable.

Even so, come, Lord Jesus!

What is the rhythm of our life?

“The rhythm of life is a powerful beat,” proclaims the song from the Broadway show “Sweet Charity.” This is a fun song, and has a catchy tune and lyrics, and certainly catches what I feel our society thinks is the rhythm of life today. I have been thinking, though, during this time of staying away from work, groups of people, and social activity to avoid and slow down the COVID-19 virus, that the rhythm of our modern life leaves much to be desired.

Rhythms fill our lives, certainly. The heart beats, the seasons change, there are times of rest and times of work or play. All of nature has rhythm. As the Bible points out in Ecclesiastes 3, “There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:”

What I have noticed in my own life is this: our modern society has a terrible sense of rhythm. Every job, organization, school, and group of people demands my time. Every activity, no matter how wholesome or beneficial, requires something of me. It is no wonder stress is such a modern cause of disease and death.

Also in the Bible, Jesus himself emphasized the importance of rest. In Mark 6:31, we read “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'” Isn’t that what you feel sometimes, when the pressures of work and family and social life gets to you? Sometimes you don’t even feel like you have a chance to eat, you are so busy!

This time of forced isolation has been illuminating to many people, I think, and I hope that it has been a time when we have been able to get to know ourselves better. I have also appreciated the forced slow down, and time to rest. I hope that I can carry that back into my life after the fact. Take breaks, vacations, and mental health checks. Do what revives and renews your spirit. De-stress, de-toxify mentally and physically if you have to. Refuse to dive into the raging river of modern life. Sit on the bank and listen to the birds sing or watch the sunset. Dance to a slower rhythm. Rest.