Patsy Clairmont's Blog, page 4

4 ways to “Douse an Angry Exchange”

Remember it’s hard to maintain an argument with someone who isn’t adding brush to the fire.

1. Thoughtfully. Stop angry words before regret. Learn to nip verbal cycles that lead to arguments.

Some spats have lasted far too long and others don’t need to happen. Practice a pause (one deep breath or two) before you reply, especially in conversations you know could be button-pushing or with a person who

already irritates you. Memorize responses that don’t spark your ire or theirs…like… “You could be right.” “I’ve never thought of it that way.” “I’ll consider your input.” Proving our rightness is a game of children, one we are capable of giving up.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11, NLT

2. Humbly. This attribute is shy. If we think we are, we probably are not. It doesn’t do well in a spotlight. Humility, while shy, is far from weak. Humility has the courage to take responsibility for unkind words and heated actions.  Humility will not only improve our tone it will soften our heart and the person who is offended. Let’s submit our will to the Lord daily and see how we will grow in wisdom.

Pride leads to disgrace,  but with humility comes wisdom. ~Proverbs 11:2

 

3. Sincerely. It only adds fuel to the flames to say “sorry” in a tone that could shatter windows, buzz-saw a redwood, or win a trophy for Most Sarcastic. And when apologizing don’t expect applause or an

Emmy for doing so. Say it sincerely then seal lips with Duct Tape if necessary.

Just because we are emotionally willing to apologize doesn’t mean the other person is emotionally ready to receive it. Let them live with your kind words for what ever time they need…patience is a stepping stone to humility and proof of sincerity.

4. Memory. Memorize a verse from the Bible (Proverbs has a plethora) or a great quote that speaks to your heart about kindness, humility, or love. Then you can replay it in your mind as often as you need it to strengthen resolve.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.

Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ~Colossians 3:12-13, NIV

The wise store up knowledge,

but the mouth of a fool invites ruin. ~Proverbs 10:14, NIV

Too much talk leads to sin.

Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. ~Proverbs 10:19, NLT

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The post 4 ways to “Douse an Angry Exchange” appeared first on Patsy Clairmont.

Changing Seasons: Risk and Trust

Autumn…the year’s last, loveliest smile. ~ John Howard Bryant

Do you have the same level of angst I do when I’m down to the last few pages of a book that has cast a spell over my heart? The characters have become friends, close ones, and I don’t want them to leave. I love their town, neighbors, family, and even their enemies (well, sort of). So I squeeze-read the last pages like drops of water in a desert, to make them last as long as possible..grieving as I go.

Then there’s the last leaves of autumn when blustery winds accost our Mulberry tree in October causing leaves to wildly pirouette to the earth. Honestly, I want to dash out with a basket and a ball of ribbon, to catch them and tie them back on. The bare limbs look lonely and longing and the lovely leaves turn into a lifeless crunch. Yes, I know next season will bring forth new life but I had grown fond of the old life. And that is the problem. Isn’t it? Old life tends to feel familiar, cozy, dependable, like my ratty sweater. It’s a golden-yellowish misshapen mess. I know I should toss the thing, it’s grungy, but golly I’ve had it, well, uh, since the ark.

And it looks like it.

I think we are afraid if we let go what if we never find another sweater so friendly, a story so endearing, a tree so shady and full of wonder. Life requires trust and trust feels risky. If we don’t let go, we become hoarders, brooders, who wear anxiety like our favorite cologne. I tell you what, I’ll go first…I’ll shove my sweater in the throw pile, I’ll invest in a new book, and I’ll go out and dance in the fallen leaves. Join me, if you dare.

Books On My Nightstand



Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

This book is for every woman’s heart.

Chasing Francis by Ian Cron

Finding hope when all looks lost.

Same Kind of Different As Me by Ron Hall and Denver Moore

A tender story that requires kleenex and humility.

 

The Shack by Wm. Paul Young

Struggling through hard questions in startling ways…

Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard

If you’ve ever felt much afraid, you will love this.

 

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Changing Seasons: Seeds of Promise

I’ve been working on a family tree. It’s been fascinating, shocking, funny, and by all means revealing. For instance, I am a distant relative of Pocahontas. Isn’t that delightful!  Also my great, great, great grandmother was Mary Todd’s teacher for 4 years. She helped Mary perfect her French and taught her the dances of royalty. It was said of my grandmother that she was passionate about books and fond of her own opinions. Hmm.

The most frequent ancestral revelations can best be summed up in the old quote, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

Our family, like yours, have recognizable attributes. My mom’s was physical brevity…all 4’ 10 and a half inches of her…which she passed on to all 5’ of me. Her naturally wavy hair, which I would have voted for and gratefully got, instead of my dad’s shiny dome.

However most thing’s of that nature we don’t get a vote on.

Tremors, a family trait, began for me a couple years ago when I would sign books at Women of Faith. It didn’t happen often and it didn’t last long. I talked it through with my doctor, but she wasn’t troubled by it, so neither was I. Now it comes more frequently, stays longer, and sometimes embarrasses me. I try to laugh it aside, make a joke, and carry on. That form of denial is also a family trait…and at times serves us well.

The tremor in my hands sends my alphabet careening across the page, they collide with each other like bumper cars at the fair. Letters once lacy with loops now meander and wobble in a most awkward manner.

Writers like symmetry, speed, and by all means control. (At least I do.) Then something enters our life that is wonky, scribbly like, and regardless of our finest intentions, ink spills over the edges of our carefully designed margins…and there is nothing we can do except watch pools form around our feet.

It’s a season….like Fall…

Golden yellow leaves with bronzed-undersides, dust the earth, they flutter about in Autumn’s breathy announcement that times are changing. Birds form caravans and cloud the sky with their feathery departures. The hummingbirds with their abrupt manners and honeysuckle breath, have already left. Perhaps because their journey is so long and they like to beat the traffic.

There are losses and gains in every season. Some we are eager for like caramel dripping off a honey crisp apple, oven baked brussel sprouts cozied up to a roast, or hot cocoa steaming in our fireside mug. But watching trees go bare, song birds pack up their hymnals and head south, and grass wither brown around our loafers…feels, well, kinda sad.

I don’t know what your changing season will bring, good or sad, but perhaps you’d like to join me as I look for, in the midst of our days, seeds of promise. They’re there. In every conceivable season. Sometimes they are asleep waiting for a divine awakening. Sometimes they are hidden under fallen leaves, protected from bitter winds. And sometimes they are the healing, inky-lavender pooling at our feet.

“For every season there is a purpose.”

Prayer

Dear Lord,

Thank you for autumn’s purple and gold adornments that prepare us for the crunch and sparkle of winter to follow. From one calendar page to the next we are aware of Your holy handiwork. And we pray you would give us eyes to also see that in our losses Your Spirit of love stitches worries into wonder and losses into legacy. You are teaching us that our sorrows in Your hands Lord Jesus, are seeds for a fruitful future. So during this season with its swirl of leaves and trembling petals, may we kneel often in Your presence and rise up awed by Your plans.

Amen

Books On My Nightstand

  

          

 

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Little Things…A Guest Post from Andy Andrews

How a “Little Thing” Like Gratitude Can Transform Your Life

Andy Andrews is the New York Times bestselling author of The Little Things: Why You Really SHOULD Sweat the Small Stuff, now available in bookstores everywhere! Click here to get your copy now.

Take a look at the painting to the right. I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s one you’ve probably seen before:

The Mona Lisa is perhaps the most famous painting in history. It is, for all intents and purposes, a big deal.

But did you know that Leonardo da Vinci chose to work with the smallest brush he had ever used when he painted this iconic portrait?

The pressure he applied with that brush was so delicate and the movements of its tip so slight that today, even with a magnifying glass, one cannot discern the individual brushstrokes. Yet they were obviously applied one at a time, carefully and with loving attention.

Why? Because da Vinci was creating a masterpiece.

As we move through life, it’s tempting to get caught up in the “big picture.” We’ve been told “Don’t sweat the small stuff” so often that we’ve bought into its meaning wholeheartedly.

But the truth is that the big pictures of our lives, much like da Vinci’s famous painting, are made up entirely of the “small stuff” we’ve been told to ignore.

However your life turns out—at the end of it all, whether you produce a disaster or a masterpiece, it will have been created one small brushstroke at a time.

In other words…it’s time to sweat the small stuff—the little things that will ultimately make all the difference in the masterpiece of our lives.

While there are many such “little things” we could focus on, this post will focus on one that I know can make an immediate difference in your life and the way you see the world—gratitude.

Gratitude: A “Little Thing” That Will Make a Massive Difference in Your Life

Gratitude is one of life’s unique mysteries.

As children, our parents constantly reminded us to be grateful, whether it was for the food on the table that we were praying we wouldn’t have to eat, or for the roof over our heads.

When we grew up and had children of our own, we did the same.

Yet—if we’re being honest—most of us rarely give gratitude the level of importance it deserves.

Why? Because practicing gratitude often involves going against the very feelings and emotions we experience on a daily basis.

Simply put, gratitude is hard.

When we’re in the midst of a challenge or crisis, it’s difficult to see how a little thing like gratitude can solve our problems.

We know it’s what we’re supposed to do, but it feels unnatural.

Especially if things aren’t going your way.

In the middle of a tough moment, all you want to do is pull your hair out, tell someone how they wronged you, or break down and cry.

To feel that way is to be human.

Fortunately, there are specific things you can do to train your mind to be grateful that go beyond simply telling yourself you should be more grateful.

3 Tips for Learning How to Be Grateful

1. Understand that you can choose to be grateful

You and I were made with a will that is stronger than our emotions—that means we have the power to change our emotions, feelings, perceptions, and point of view.

If that sounds silly to you, think about this…

What do you do when you’re having an unpleasant conversation at home and the phone suddenly rings?

You answer with a calm and collected “Hello!”.

That’s because you and I can choose how we act despite how we feel.

The best part? Eventually, our feelings start to follow our actions.

If I’m sad and decide to watch mindless TV while eating a gallon of ice cream, I’ll feel worse—but if I’m sad and decide to turn on happy music or count my blessings, I’ll feel better.

It may not happen immediately, but with practice, you can train your feelings to follow your actions.

2. Look for reasons to love your problems

If you live in America, have a job, and are reading this blog post on a computer, cell phone, or tablet right now, the majority of your problems are most likely not as serious as you think they are.

In fact, many of the problems we face are just signs of the blessings we’ve experienced! Think about it…

● If your muscles ache at the end of a long day at work, that means you’re able to move, lift, and carry things—abilities that hundreds of thousands of people would love to have. It also means you’re employed.

● If something is wrong with your house and needs to be fixed, that means you have a roof over your head.

● If you’re feeling unfulfilled at work or in life, that means you’re aware that you have a much larger purpose, and a tremendous opportunity to fulfill it.

So next time you get bent out of shape about something (because we all do), take a deep breath and be thankful for what you do have and what is going right.

Stop, take a breath, and write your blessings down if you need to! When you look, you will find them.

3. Don’t keep it to yourself—share gratitude with others

Changing your feelings by practicing gratitude becomes even easier if you start using gratitude to help others change the way they feel, too.

Everyone longs for appreciation, and tons of people do great work that goes unnoticed. You can be the person who notices them and gives them the appreciation they deserve.

Opportunities for expressing gratitude are all around you, hidden in life’s everyday moments:

● Let the cashier at the grocery store know you appreciate his speedy service.

● Text your mom and let her know you’re grateful for the way she raised you.

● Leave a note of appreciation for the crew that cleans your office. Point out something specific you’ve noticed they do extremely well, even if it seems small.

Gratitude is contagious. When you give it to others, your feelings can’t help but get caught up in the action.

Knowing How to Be Grateful Is Vital to Success

Remember, being grateful takes practice and consistent action. It’s something we should never stop learning how to do.

When you start each day with a commitment to that practice, I promise you will start seeing the world in a new light.

People will want to be around you. And if you are someone people love being around, great things happen.

Little Things… A Guest Post from Andy Andrews

How a “Little Thing” Like Gratitude Can Transform Your Life

Andy Andrews is the New York Times bestselling author of The Little Things: Why You Really SHOULD Sweat the Small Stuff, now available in bookstores everywhere! Click here to get your copy now.

Take a look at the painting to the right. I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s one you’ve probably seen before:

The Mona Lisa is perhaps the most famous painting in history. It is, for all intents and purposes, a big deal.

But did you know that Leonardo da Vinci chose to work with the smallest brush he had ever used when he painted this iconic portrait?

The pressure he applied with that brush was so delicate and the movements of its tip so slight that today, even with a magnifying glass, one cannot discern the individual brushstrokes. Yet they were obviously applied one at a time, carefully and with loving attention.

Why? Because da Vinci was creating a masterpiece.

As we move through life, it’s tempting to get caught up in the “big picture.” We’ve been told “Don’t sweat the small stuff” so often that we’ve bought into its meaning wholeheartedly.

But the truth is that the big pictures of our lives, much like da Vinci’s famous painting, are made up entirely of the “small stuff” we’ve been told to ignore.

However your life turns out—at the end of it all, whether you produce a disaster or a masterpiece, it will have been created one small brushstroke at a time.

In other words…it’s time to sweat the small stuff—the little things that will ultimately make all the difference in the masterpiece of our lives.

While there are many such “little things” we could focus on, this post will focus on one that I know can make an immediate difference in your life and the way you see the world—gratitude.

Gratitude: A “Little Thing” That Will Make a Massive Difference in Your Life

Gratitude is one of life’s unique mysteries.

As children, our parents constantly reminded us to be grateful, whether it was for the food on the table that we were praying we wouldn’t have to eat, or for the roof over our heads.

When we grew up and had children of our own, we did the same.

Yet—if we’re being honest—most of us rarely give gratitude the level of importance it deserves.

Why? Because practicing gratitude often involves going against the very feelings and emotions we experience on a daily basis.

Simply put, gratitude is hard.

When we’re in the midst of a challenge or crisis, it’s difficult to see how a little thing like gratitude can solve our problems.

We know it’s what we’re supposed to do, but it feels unnatural.

Especially if things aren’t going your way.

In the middle of a tough moment, all you want to do is pull your hair out, tell someone how they wronged you, or break down and cry.

To feel that way is to be human.

Fortunately, there are specific things you can do to train your mind to be grateful that go beyond simply telling yourself you should be more grateful.

3 Tips for Learning How to Be Grateful

1. Understand that you can choose to be grateful

You and I were made with a will that is stronger than our emotions—that means we have the power to change our emotions, feelings, perceptions, and point of view.

If that sounds silly to you, think about this…

What do you do when you’re having an unpleasant conversation at home and the phone suddenly rings?

You answer with a calm and collected “Hello!”.

That’s because you and I can choose how we act despite how we feel.

The best part? Eventually, our feelings start to follow our actions.

If I’m sad and decide to watch mindless TV while eating a gallon of ice cream, I’ll feel worse—but if I’m sad and decide to turn on happy music or count my blessings, I’ll feel better.

It may not happen immediately, but with practice, you can train your feelings to follow your actions.

2. Look for reasons to love your problems

If you live in America, have a job, and are reading this blog post on a computer, cell phone, or tablet right now, the majority of your problems are most likely not as serious as you think they are.

In fact, many of the problems we face are just signs of the blessings we’ve experienced! Think about it…

● If your muscles ache at the end of a long day at work, that means you’re able to move, lift, and carry things—abilities that hundreds of thousands of people would love to have. It also means you’re employed.

● If something is wrong with your house and needs to be fixed, that means you have a roof over your head.

● If you’re feeling unfulfilled at work or in life, that means you’re aware that you have a much larger purpose, and a tremendous opportunity to fulfill it.

So next time you get bent out of shape about something (because we all do), take a deep breath and be thankful for what you do have and what is going right.

Stop, take a breath, and write your blessings down if you need to! When you look, you will find them.

3. Don’t keep it to yourself—share gratitude with others

Changing your feelings by practicing gratitude becomes even easier if you start using gratitude to help others change the way they feel, too.

Everyone longs for appreciation, and tons of people do great work that goes unnoticed. You can be the person who notices them and gives them the appreciation they deserve.

Opportunities for expressing gratitude are all around you, hidden in life’s everyday moments:

● Let the cashier at the grocery store know you appreciate his speedy service.

● Text your mom and let her know you’re grateful for the way she raised you.

● Leave a note of appreciation for the crew that cleans your office. Point out something specific you’ve noticed they do extremely well, even if it seems small.

Gratitude is contagious. When you give it to others, your feelings can’t help but get caught up in the action.

Knowing How to Be Grateful Is Vital to Success

Remember, being grateful takes practice and consistent action. It’s something we should never stop learning how to do.

When you start each day with a commitment to that practice, I promise you will start seeing the world in a new light.

People will want to be around you. And if you are someone people love being around, great things happen.

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The post Little Things… A Guest Post from Andy Andrews appeared first on Patsy Clairmont.

Let There Be Light

Thank you for over 1,000,000 views on Let Their be Light…

The post Let There Be Light appeared first on Patsy Clairmont.

Let Their Be Light

Thank you for over 1,000,000 views on Let Their be Light…

Thanksgiving Sale!

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Thanksgiving Greetings!

I adore Fall!
 
I love swaddling in sweaters and scarves and pulling on knee-high boots that smell leathery and feel friendly. I applaud a roaring fireplace with its spit and crackle companioned with steamy cups of dark cocoa. I appreciate the art of wet leaves splayed on windshields and sidewalks. I delight in cozy cafes stirred by warm conversations over pumpkin bread and chai tea.  I’m a happy girl when I’m wrapped in a fuzzy robe while captured by a well-written story. I’m giggly tucked under an umbrella splashing my way toward a friendly rendezvous. I’m fascinated by scampering squirrels and flocking birds. I’ m comforted by foamy baths and feather-filled duvets. I’m heady when my kitchen smells of cinnamon and coffee. 
 
So rattle windows, blow north winds, fly copper leaves…fill the world with a sampling of God’s furious glory.
 
Prayers for a blessed Thanksgiving for you and your family!
Patsy

James 1:5