Lily Lawson's Blog: Lily's log, page 12

The Past

He was terrified of small spaces, and she knew. Leroy being up in the loft with her meant a great deal to Maria. Being the eldest he knew what was up there better than his siblings. He’d helped his father get it up there. This loft was full of the life their parents had together and relics form their childhood.

Maria took the commuting between homes and countries hard.

Andre knew no different; he didn’t remember his parents being together.

The photo albums of happy family snaps a contrast to their later nomadic existence.

‘She’s not here.’ Andre piled the albums up and set them aside.

‘I don’t remember Aunt Giovanna being around at all.’ Leroy moved some boxes to make a path.’ We can sort this in my room.’

‘Are you ok?’ Maria touched her brother’s arm.

‘I just wanted us to go up there together just once and this is likely our last chance. I’m going down now. You can pass all this stuff to me.’

***

The three siblings were stood among the piles when Gabriella walked in.

‘Lucy’s on her way.’

‘This must be so difficult for you.’ Leroy put his arm round her. ‘We would understand if you would rather not be here.’

‘I have to see all this through. Besides I want to meet my niece. All this isn’t her fault.’

‘That’s very generous of you, Not sure I’d be this understanding.’ Maria cleared a chair so Gabriella could sit down.

‘We weren’t together, not really.’ Tears crept don her face.

‘Why did you never get divorced? He wasn’t exactly faithful.’

Andre gave his mother a box of tissues.

‘Neither was I. I’ve lived with Antonio longer than I ever lived with your father.’

‘One man is not the same as a revolving door of women.’

‘Oh Andre, don’t judge your father too harshly. I don’t think it was that bad.’

‘You didn’t see them, but I don’t know how many …?’

‘Ended up in his bed? No, me neither. I certainly didn’t expect one to be my own sister.’ Gabriella stood up. ‘Come on. We shouldn’t leave him alone with her too long, she might be trying to kill the bugger.’

‘Not sure I’d stop her.’

‘Leroy, at the end of the day he’s still your father and he was a good one. You’re just angry. Besides, he hasn’t got long.’

The four shared a group hug and went back to Mario’s room.

Secrets

‘Dad wants to speak to all of us together.’ Maria broke the silence of the hall.

Andre and Leroy put Giovanna’s things in the guest room and the family filed silently into Mario’s room.

‘When I die this house will be sold and the proceeds shared between my four children.’

‘Four?’ Maria holding her father’s hand looked round the room.

‘You didn’t tell them?’ Giovanna sighed; all eyes turned to her.

Gabriella squeezed Mario’s hand in hers.

‘Her?’

Mario nodded.

‘That’s why you got Andre to send for her. Are they coming?’

‘I never told Lucy who her father was.’

‘I want to meet her before I die.’

‘You’re a bastard Mario I always knew that but THIS.’ Gabriella let go of his hand.

‘And as for you.’ She poked Giovanna in the shoulder, ‘Send for your daughter, let her see who her parents really are, my guess is she’ll run for the hills.’

‘I wouldn’t blame her if she did.’ Giovanna dabbed her eyes.

‘Why don’t you kids go up in the loft, sort out your old toys and stuff, I think there’s even some belonging to your mother. Then you can talk and maybe I can broker some peace here.’

Andre, Leroy, and Maria left the room.

‘Peace? No chance in hell.’

Gabriella paced the room.

‘I’m sorry.’ Giovanna touched Gabriella’s shoulder.

‘Oh well, that sorts everything.’

‘Don’t be like that.’

‘You had a child with my husband.’

‘There would be another brat on the way if Mario hadn’t paid off Valencia.’

‘What?’

‘Valencia is pregnant with Mario’s baby, she’s been staying with me in Rome, we flew in together, I told her to make the bastard pay, he wouldn’t know faithful if it was in one of his precious wine bottles.’

‘How many have there been?’

Mario closed his eyes pretending to sleep.

‘How many?’ Gabriella shook him by the shoulders.

‘Children or women?’

‘Both?’

‘I said 4 children.’

‘And if they hadn’t been aborted?’

‘I don’t know. You knew when you left, I had lovers.’

‘I suppose I shut the thought out of my mind as to how many. I knew there was more than one, no woman could put up with you as long as I did.’ She hit him.

‘I’m not counting.’

‘You were with Giovanna the night I came back and knew someone was here. It was her in your bed, the act that made me realise we had to break up.’

‘The first time I was unfaithful, yes. She reminded me of you.’

‘Well, that’s ok then.’

‘You.’ Gabriella turned to Giovanna ‘You were quick to jump in my bed.’

‘Lets say we have the same taste in men.’

‘No, you saw a meal ticket and you took it, we are nothing alike. I loved him, love him.’

‘This all happened so long ago I’m different now.’

‘Not so different, you got a whiff of a will and you’re on the first plane.’

‘Giovanna you better call Lucy not sure how much stress this old heart of mine can take.’

‘Well perhaps if you’d been led by another part of your anatomy we wouldn’t be in this mess.’

‘Gabriella let a dying man meet his daughter. You can give me that surely.’

‘Let’s hope she isn’t disappointed.’

‘Mario doesn’t disappoint.’ Giovanna’s words drifted through the door as Gabriella left the room.

Arrival

Giovanna caught the first train to the town nearest to Mario’s house.

Mario lived out of town in a quirky house that could only be accessed by a bridge unless the river was low. The taxi driver unceremoniously dumped Giovanna and her baggage at the gate.

In the distance she could see four people at the window as she made her way up the driveway.

***

‘I should go help her.’ Andre went towards the door.

Gabriella got hold of his arm. ‘Tell her nothing, understand.’

Andre nodded.

‘There’s a lot maybe I should go too.’ Leroy made to follow his brother.

‘I’ll go and tell dad she’s here and sit with him while you two catch up.’ Maria left Gabriella alone.

The knots were back inside Gabriella, the ones only her sister could cause. Her insides were screaming at her to leave but she knew she had to face this and she’d promised Mario she wouldn’t leave him.

Thinking time

She had missed the last train and there was only one person she wanted to see. The question was would her sister want to see her?

Gabriella was hard to pin down these days. Her and Antonio lived a nomadic life travelling the world.

Giavanna hadn’t seen her sister since she left Mario. The children were unlikely to remember her.

Giavanna had tried with both of them to get them to see they belonged together. Gabriella took up a job as a photographer for a newspaper and Mario kept the business running. He thought she would come back to him. She met Antonio and they’d been together ever since.

In the end the sisters felt some time apart was necessary. Neither expected that to last 30 years.

Andre had called when Mario had been told he had weeks to live. The blow had made Andre realise how little he knew about his family and how he might be on borrowed time to find out.

Mario and Gabriella had run away to get married. The children had never known their grandparents.

Giavanna spent the night in a hotel near the station wondering what tomorrow would bring.

I second that

Looking out the window of the house there was a woman approaching. Maria was convinced her tiredness was making her hallucinate. Her mother, who she knew to be by her father’s side, was coming towards the house.

‘Andre, Leroy come look.’

Her brothers joined her at the window. Andre went and got Gabriella so she could see it too.

‘Oh, that’s my twin ’

All three stared at their mother all thinking one thought.

Why had no-one ever mentioned Mum's twin?

memories

‘I see you still like the difficult ones?’ Gabriella poked Mario in the ribs.

‘I love a challenge.’ He kissed her.

‘I know, that first flat we bought what a doer upper and filthy too.’

‘You soon had it glistening like a show house.’

‘Maybe we should have stayed there, we were happy then.’

‘With three kids.’

‘Maybe not.’ She sat up and looked at him.

He reached out and ran his finger down her cheek. ‘I meant it you know, they all meant nothing, I would have given them all up if you had come back to me.’

Gabriella put her hands on her hips, ‘Now he tells me.’

‘You got the best of me, they got the rest of me. When I’m gone marry Antonio and be happy promise me that.’

‘I don’t want to think about life without you.’

‘Me neither, but we knew the day would come.’

‘Let’s just focus on now, it’s all we have.’

‘You have a deal.’

Money

There was a knock at the door.

‘He doesn’t want to see you.’ Andre blocked the door.

Valentina pushed him out of the way. Andre blocked the bedroom door.

‘He can tell me that himself, I bet she’s here, the perfect Gabriella.'

‘My mother is with him yes.’

‘So, I’m to be cast to the streets then, am I?’

‘It is his house.’

‘And I am what nothing? How dare you look down your nose at me like that.’

‘You were only with him a few months, you left when he got sick.’

‘I don’t do well with sick people.’

‘So why are you here?’

‘Andre let the damn woman in. I’ll deal with her myself.’

‘You heard your father.’

Andre opened the door.

‘Best you leave.’ Valentina pulled at Gabriella’s arm.

‘She’s staying’ Mario pulled Gabriella back down. ‘How much do you want?’

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Name your price, Andre will pay you and I can die in peace.’

‘I don’t want your money.’

‘What do you want?’

‘You said once you would buy me a house but this will do nicely.’

‘This house is for my children. If that is all, goodbye.’

Andre came in and handed her a cheque.

‘That’s all your getting. Leave us all in peace.’

‘Double and you’ve got a deal.’

‘Ok, I haven’t the strength to argue.’ He changed the cheque and handed it back. ‘Double now go.’

Valentina kissed Andre’s cheek.

‘Should have gone for the son, it might have been fun.’

‘If you don’t get out of here…’ he shoved her towards the door.

‘Ok I’m going.’

She left the house slamming the door behind her.

Hold me close

‘You will stay with me, won’t you?’ Mario kissed Gabriella’s head.

‘Yes, of course. I left you because I didn’t want to share you.’

‘But you did anyway.’

‘Because you got under my skin, and I couldn't get you out. Damn you, you cheating bastard.’ She hit his arm.

He hugged her tighter.

‘Takes one to know one.’

‘Touché.’ She kissed him.

‘Do you remember what we said when we were young? How we’d grow old together and have a whole brood of kids running round the place?’

‘Like the old woman who lived in a shoe, Andre loved that story. He wanted loads of brothers and sisters, I think it was his way of wanting to keep us together.’

‘Three was quite enough for me.’

‘For me too.’

Love is complicated

He had never seen so many homeless people in one place. It brought the situation home to him. It was why Mario set up a homeless charity with Gabriella. One of the things she loved about him was his wish to make a difference.

He had passed this on to their children.

***

‘Gabriella, my love, I knew you would come.’ Mario reached out his hands and Gabriella took them.

‘Am I the only lover you’ve summoned, or should I expect a harem at any moment?’

‘There was only you, as for the rest, meaningless flings. Is Antonio with you?’ He kissed her hands and put them to his face.

‘No. He felt it was inappropriate to visit the deathbed of the man that stood in the way of making me his wife.’

‘I shall not be in the way much longer then you can be Mrs Capricci.’

‘Is that why I am here? For your blessing?’

‘Can’t a man on his deathbed kiss the love of his life goodbye?’

‘You dragged me back from Rome for a kiss?’

‘There was a time you would have thought it worth it.’

Gabriella kissed his forehead.

‘Kiss me like a lover, lie with me and hold me.’

‘You’re not expecting…’

‘No, my dear, those days are over, I know that. I only wish to hold you in my arms one last time.’

‘Antonio won’t like this.’

‘He got over our past reconciliations and they were much more a betrayal.’

Gabriella turned her back.

‘You never told him, did you?’

‘No, I would have lost him.’

‘You could have come back to me.’

‘And your encounters? That would never have worked.’

‘So, you were using me?’ Mario laughed. ‘I made you into me.’

‘At least I love both of you, for me it wasn’t meaningless.’

‘Come on, lie down. You need the rest.’

Gabriella hit him, then climbed on the bed, took him in her arms and kissed him.

The ticking clock

When she arrived home, she noticed the curtains were closed. He was dead then, given it was two in the afternoon and the curtains were never closed at that time. He wouldn’t allow it, Insisting on sunlight through the window.

Gabriella wasn’t sure how she felt. They had married at 16 and never divorced. It became clear after the first ten years living together was not an option. His wandering eye led other parts of him to wander and Gabriella prized faithfulness above all.

They reached an agreement. She accompanied him to social functions, and she received a percentage of the business for remaining a face of the company. Gabriella spent her days painting and taking photographs. She had exhibited all over the world.

Leroy’s arms around her offered some comfort. Her eldest son resembled his father in looks but not personality.

‘Were you with him?’

‘He’s not dead. He’s waiting for you.’

‘How’s Maria bearing up?’

‘She’s exhausted, you know how demanding he is.’

‘Yes, dragging me back from Rome from his deathbed. Antonio and I had a massive row, he really hates me being here.’

‘Mama I’m not sure how much time you have, come quickly.’

Andre her youngest, the summoner, pulled Gabriella towards the house. She saw the tears in his eyes and her heart ached for him.

Mario was a lousy husband but a great father. All three of their children adored him. Maria had nursed him throughout his illness, the boys had taken their turns with her to sit with him. He hadn’t been left alone unless he requested it for the last two weeks.

‘He talks about you constantly. He never stopped loving you.’

‘It’s mutual, your father and I love each other better apart.’

Gabriella took a deep breath and opened the door.