Moe Lane's Blog, page 865
August 9, 2020
08/09/2020 Snippet, Verdict of History.
Refreshment!
Patreon!“Well, I’m not going to let you go, sorry.” Firebrand sat down, and poured himself some tea. “I’m not going to let you live, either. Oh, pardon me: would you like a cup?”
“Ha. Real funny, asshole,” Razor-Claw said. He then blinked as a cup daintily levitated into the air and moved over to his lips. He was clearly thirsty; after a second, the bandit king gingerly sipped from the cup. His eyebrows rose as the cup proved to, indeed, have nothing but tea in it. And as soon as it was empty, the cup flew away to be refilled.
Razor-Claw drained four cups before he said, “Screw this tea crap, gimme a beer.”
Firebrand laughed with genuine humor. “That’s the spirit. And it’s Commanding Warmage Asshole, thanks. I beat you, so I get the title.”
Razor-Claw shrugged as much as the chains would let him. “You’re the guy with the beer, Commanding Warmage Asshole. If that’s what it takes…”
08/09/2020 Snippet, OMBUDSMAN.
I’ve been thinking about the scene just after this one for a couple of years.
Patreon!It wasn’t a great scene that Bad Jack had walked into, though. It was mostly workers there, with his guy Yapper on the floor for once. That was weird; Jack had given Yapper the job of ‘shop steward,’ mostly because the Consortium said somebody had to have the job. Yapper was supposed to pass on bullshit from the workers or something like that, but Bad Jack didn’t care about that and did care about being whined at, so Yapper stayed in his office and did whatever.
Apparently ‘whatever’ wasn’t going over great with the Ombudsm- Morty; whatever he was saying to Yapper, it wasn’t happy-talk. Morty looked like he belonged there, though, although he was no way as hulking as the other guys. Maybe it was the suit; Bad Jack had never noticed before how solid Consortium formal clothes looked. Down here it looked a lot better than Bad Jack’s fancier local duds.
“What’s going on here?” Bad Jack said as he walked up to the knot of workers. “Don’t you all have shifts?”
“Good afternoon, Director,” said Morty, without even a trace of disrespect. “These men are witnesses by my order; I’m arbitrating a labor dispute, and I didn’t want Mr. Joeson here to feel like the bosses were singling him out.”
Who the hell is ‘Joeson?’ thought Bad Jack. Oh, yeah, Yapper’s dad was named Joe. Probably. “Whaddya mean, a labor dispute? What did they do?”
“The workers here? Nothing.” Morty looked at Yapper. “But I had some questions for Mr. Joeson here about boots. Like where all the ones he ordered all ended up.”
08/09/2020 Snippet, MORGAN BAROD AND THE ELDRITCH TOME.
Scouting!
Patreon!The two men scouted out the scene in front of the library annex. The annex had started out as a one-story building, then had two-story additions attached behind it and to the side, transforming it into an L-shaped structure. There was also another, later one-story attachment slapped onto the two-story addition that was windowless, and probably now the annex proper. A glass alcove had been added to connect the pieces of the L-shape and create a main door, but the alcove had lost all of its glass a while back. Bits of weathered, rounded glass nuggets could be found as the overgrowth that Morgan, Ben, and Kiddo were now using for cover.
They figured they needed the cover, because there were far too many bones scattered around the parking lot and entrance. Mostly animal bones, but there was at least one human skeleton picked clean. Something had pushed around the weathered plastic car chassis, too.
Ben said, “So, yeah, that’s what we call ‘bad,’ these days.” After a second, he went on, “Okay, we’d have called it ‘bad’ back before the Discovery, too.”
“Or ‘fake,’ because there’s no way there’d be that many bones lying around,” agreed Morgan.
Patreon Microfiction: For Science.
There’s a really unpleasant world behind ‘For Science.’ I mean, a REALLY unpleasant world. The kind where ‘peace and safety of a new dark age’ is perfectly correct. I dunno if I’ll ever do a full write-up of it.
Patreon!August 8, 2020
08/08/2020 Snippet, VERDICT OF HISTORY.
Flirting!
Patreon!Orcish legion officers were also rather good at getting tables. It was interesting to watch; Tribune Luis Tornclaw Austinex didn’t raise his voice, scowl, or even exude any sort of menace. But a couple of people smilingly gave up their seats for him and Jackie anyway.
“It’s probably the uniform,” he said when Jackie commented on their good luck. “Or maybe they were looking for the jakes.”
“I think you’re wrong. After all, this is the renowned Franklin theater, pride of an ancient city which was powerful and famous even before the Discovery,” Jackie said. “Surely they’ve managed to install toilets by now.”
Jackie decided she liked orcish laughter — there’s just so much chest for it to to echo through, for one thing — but Luis shook his head afterward. “I’m not one to talk! My grandmother couldn’t read, and the only words my father could write were all dirty.”
“And yet here you are now, attending the opera and everything. Enjoying it?”
“Yes; and yes, now.”
“Good answer, Tribune Luis.” Jackie wrinkled her brow, momentarily distracted back to her official reason to be here. Journalism first. Dinner and drinks afterward.
Book of the Week: Pirate of the Prophecy (Empress of the Endless Sea Book 1).
Oh, hey. Pirate of the Prophecy (Empress of the Endless Sea Book 1). Probably gonna be just another goddamn spectacular Jack Campbell trilogy. You gotta wonder if he’s gonna eventually get bored of being so consistently good at writing those.
Moe Lane
08/08/2020 Snippet, OMBUDSMAN.
Sensible violence!
Patreon!“…he went and got two workers who read real good, made ‘em his assistants. They’re sorting everything now, putting all the papers together.”
“What did they say about why they’re doing it?” asked Bad Jack, idly. He stopped when Gumball shook his head.“Nothing, bossman.”
“Well, did you ask them?” said Bad Jack.
“Yeah, bossman.” Gumball looked worried. “Well, not me. My guy did. Crazy-Face, you know? They told him to ask the Ombudsman. They said he told ‘em to say that, too.”
“And Crazy-Face didn’t smack it into their heads about how that’s unacceptable?” That actually got Bad Jack a little worried. Crazy-Face wasn’t what you’d call amiable.
“He would have, bossman. Except just as he got started…” Gumball swallowed. “The Ombudsman showed up. Asked Crazy-Face what he was doing there, and who told him to do it. Crazy-Face wouldn’t tell him shit, of course, so the Ombudsman…”
“Guy’s named Morty, Gumball,” said Bad Jack peevishly.
“Sure, bossman. So the Om- Morty told Crazy-Face to get the hell out of his office and back on the job. And you know how Crazy-Face is, right?”
“Yeah,” Bad Jack closed his eyes, trying to figure out what to do next. Because even a busted-up Ombudsman was going to be a real problem for him. “Asshole thinks shit like that’s an excuse to start fighting. How bad was it?”
“Not too bad, I swear.” Gumball swallowed. “Dislocated shoulder, black eye, busted nose from the way Crazy-Face went through the door without it being open the first time.”
Bad Jack snapped open his eyes. “What, that’s what happened to Crazy-Face? How much damage did he do?”
“Well,” Gumball said, “when the Ombudsman came into my office dragging Crazy-Face behind him, maybe he had some of his hair mussed up?”
08/08/2020 Snippet, MORGAN BAROD AND THE ELDRITCH TOME.
Pragmatism!
Patreon!As the three of them approached the library annex — Kiddo showed no interest in going away, and she was probably the closest they could find to a local guide anyway — Ben said to Morgan, “I don’t know what’s going on with Kiddo, but it’s weird.”
“No argument from me, Ben,” replied Morgan as he tried to maintain a watchful calm. It was a lot easier in the books. “But it’s not bad weird, so I figure we’ll just roll with it. What do you think her deal is, though?”
“If I was guessing? I think she’s reading our minds enough to pick up the meaning of words right away. That’s why we have to say a word before she knows it.”
“That’s bloody brilliant, Ben. Which means… hey, Kiddo!” When Kiddo turned around, Morgan said, clearly and precisely. “Danger, trouble, weird, enemies, left, right, up, down, ahead, behind, bad, worse, worst, monsters, people, hello, goodbye, please, and help.” He then counted up to twenty, and said, “That’s all, thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” said Kiddo, and turned back to do her own scouting.
Morgan smiled at Ben’s reaction. “What? We can do more words later.”
“No, it’s… you don’t freak out easily, do you?”
“Ben, I’ve been freaking out since I woke up.” Morgan had never seen any reason not to tell anybody about the coma. It was worth it for the looks of envious sympathy he got from telling the story. “By now I’m just numb.”
