Moe Lane's Blog, page 656
October 10, 2021
Patreon Microfiction: The Actual Magery Involves Slide Rules.
The oddity of ‘The Actual Magery Involves Slide Rules’ is, I don’t know who are the better guys. I mean, ‘cultist’ is diagnostic – but so is ‘deliberately setting people up for fatal radiation poisoning.’ That’s not exactly nice.
Patreon!
October 9, 2021
Debating whether to do Farpoint 29 in February.
Farpoint 29 is a SF/comic convention, February 25-27, in Hunt Valley. The table costs two hundred bucks, but it comes with two three-day con passes, each of which would cost ninety bucks. If I was going to go to it anyway this would be kind of a no-brainer (I’m going to see about vending at WashingCon, for example); but I wasn’t.
So I dunno. You work where you can work, but I don’t know what the atmosphere is like at this con. Some of them are fun; some are… not.
Creature Seed: Specimen HER-10292020-DRK.
Specimen HER-10292020-DRK
Description: roughly humanoid. 6 feet 4 inches, three fingers and a thumb on both hands and feet (fully prehensile), 275 lbs. The flesh is a substance with a 97% congruence to chocolate, with cherry-flavored cola for blood, licorice for hair, and razor-sharp candy corn for teeth and claws. When encountered, Specimen HER-10292020-DRK was wearing a steel-reinforced leather tunic, shirt, and boots, and carrying a leather satchel that contained various instruments and a supply of dried meat: tests indicated that both the meat and the leather were of human origin. Due to the unique nature of the corpse, it is recommended that the Specimen be kept frozen.
Method of attack: a short range over-stimulation of the brain’s endorphins, creating an overwhelming euphoria which can result in disorientation, confusion, permanent brain damage, coma, and/or death.
In 2020 this thing partially consumed a Hershey Park security guard, killed two Pennsylvania state troopers, and wounded three more people before it was put down. Survivors reported that the Specimen was distressingly resistant to bullets, regenerating from shots rapidly. Fortunately, it proved vulnerable to both extreme heat and cold; the Specimen was immobilized by a fire extinguisher long enough for it to be thrown into a walk-in freezer. The Specimen was later picked up by [REDACTED], secured more thoroughly with a liquid nitrogen containment system, and brought in for further research.
Distressingly, freezing the Specimen merely immobilized it; Project STAR GATE empaths reported that it retained sapience but not consciousness. They also reported that the Specimen contained enough directed malice towards humans to cause nosebleeds in a Sensitivity Three remote viewer. A comprehensive examination of the Specimen’s gear and clothing suggests an extradimensional origin, but it is still unclear whether it came here deliberately, or was translated to this universe involuntarily. After careful consideration, the relevant committee decided to kill the Specimen (it had, after all, murdered three people in cold blood, and ate one of them). Unfortunately, the Specimen managed to activate its euphoria-generation ability and used it to neutralize the technicians preparing to shatter it.
That was this morning. The facility was sealed automatically, but unfortunately there are still human beings inside it. Please rescue as many as you can. And don’t bother trying to capture the Specimen. Freeze it or melt it, but get the bits ready for final disposal — preferably, in a blast furnace.
And for the love of whatever god or gods you’ve been assigned, don’t eat the damned thing. According to the relevant security footage, the Specimen got out because one idiot decided that he wanted a snack.
Book of the Week: Decisions: Four Tales of Choices.
Writer Moe Lane has warned – or maybe promised? – that Decisions: Four Tales of Choices will be the last self-published fiction of his in 2021. It’s made up of four stories, each illustrated with its own image drawn specifically for the story. Also not entirely horror, unlike his previous two chapbooks. Check it out!
October 8, 2021
Tweet of the Day, This Exercise In Spiteful Candy Reviews Has Rejuvenated Me edition.
I know, I know. Not five minutes later. (Via @DerekBarge)
I bought a bag of this #brachsturkeydinnercandycorn a while back and have been saving them for #nationalspookymonth. I’m a #registereddietitian and this is my honest review as a nutrition professional. Ahem. 1/18 pic.twitter.com/HosFqhL0Px
— Mom of No Rank (@momofnorank) October 7, 2021
I am just completely wiped, sorry.
It was far too long a week. The schooling’s gotten into full gear, and coordinating it is a total pain in the sit-upon. I think I need to take it easier this weekend — so I’m giving myself permission to not force myself to have interesting things to say.
Doing a Haunted Walk tonight!
Add that to the list of Stuff I Haven’t Been Able To Do Lately. Although it’s a little unfair for my wife and I to do these: our idea of a good Christmas present is the complete collection of the Childe ballads. I forgot, one time in Colonial Williamsburg, and asked the nice girl who had just told us one story whether her story was related a particular folktale about Captain Franklin and the Northwest Passage and the resulting silence was slightly uncomfortable.
In my defense, it’s not like there are that many opportunities to have that sort of discussion. I can hardly be blamed, although I certainly should have known better. Still, as long as I keep my mouth shut tonight there shouldn’t be any problems. And the weather will be perfect.
God, but I missed Halloween.
October 7, 2021
‘Rebels of the Sacred Heart.’
To me, this is always going to be a song about repentant demons. Well, basically repentant. They’ve got a sneaking suspicion that being a right bastard for the LORD might still come in handy.
Getting ready for Halloween 2021.
It is not yet time for the Buying of the Candy, but we are Assembling The Costumes. The eldest child wishes to go as a man with a fish head; the youngest is still thinking, but I suspect ‘cyborg’ will end up being involved. We will also need to pencil in a good time for the Decoration of the Yard. Maybe in a couple of weeks.
And this holiday is going on as scheduled this year, to the extent that I can personally manage it. We defiantly kept true to the folkways during the Plague Year; I’m hardly going to abandon them now. And I don’t give a damn if anybody doesn’t like that.
