D. Richard Ferguson's Blog, page 4

Have a New Kid by Friday: How to Change Your Child’s Attitude, Behavior & Character in 5 Days

You can always expect clear, very practical advice from Kevin Leman.

Sometimes psychologists’ theories are so speculative, they lack any practical value. And because they are so dependent on theories about childhood trauma or other intangible factors, they are impossible to test. The advice in this book isn’t like that. You really will know by Friday whether the techniques work.

I wish I’d had this book when I was raising my kids. I think I would have done a better job in many respects. Based on my experience raising three kids and now helping with 8 grandkids, I believe the advice is outstanding.

The core of his approach is to say things only once to a child and let consequences take over from there. At several points, the reader might think, “That would never work with my kid.” But as you keep reading, the ideas seem more and more plausible.

I especially like the advice about allowance. Failing to give my kids an allowance is one of my big regrets. Learning how to use money properly and deal with a regular income can and should be learned long before the teenage years, when you can be in control of the income. Leman points out that you’re going to spend money on your kids anyway, why not make it an allowance and let them buy the things you would have bought?

Another great comment in the book was about shyness. “Being shy is when you are thinking of yourself and not others.” That’s a concept kids can understand, yet many adults don’t.

My biggest point of disagreement with the book has to do with the role of professional psychologist. The advice in the book is designed for common problems. But for especially severe problems he refers the reader to psychologists rather than biblical counselors. This assumes that the more serious the problem, the more important it is to seek human wisdom instead of divine wisdom. I believe the opposite is true.

Thankfully, it’s only once or twice that he says this.

There were a couple rare moments where the author drifted into psychological speculation. One was in the discussion of procrastination. He suggests kids who procrastinate do so because they learned perfectionism from a parent, and they fear that if they begin a project, it will end up being inadequate, so they don’t even want to start. It seems to me a simpler explanation might just be plain old laziness.

He made a similar comment about tardiness. He said children who are always late are trying to stack the deck against themselves because they don’t feel they are worth anything. This is caused by an overcritical parent.

That seems like a lot to assume. A simpler explanation might be that the child simply doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing to go somewhere else.

Another minor point of disagreement is with what seems to me to be an over-reliance on schools for teaching his children. One example is the section on homework where he says if a child struggles with homework, don’t help the child. Contact the teacher and request help. I believe it is the parents who have the primary responsibility for teaching their children. And in my judgment, our culture places far too much influence in the hands of teachers.

There was also a strange moment in the book in the discussion about smoking where Leman references Freud’s theory about oral fixation stemming from inadequate breastfeeding. Thankfully, this goofy theory plays no role in his advice on how to handle a child who smokes. Like the rest of the book, his advice regarding smoking is very practical.

These portions I disagree with represent about 1% of the book. The other 99 is excellent. Extremely helpful, and I highly recommend it.

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Reign with Christ Today

Should You Choose the Best Option?

Do you know what God’s will is for you over the next 24 hours?

There are many good options. Are any of those okay? Or does God want you to discover the best possible use of your time? Jesus taught us to pray for God’s will to be done on earth (Mt.6:10). How do you discover his will at any given moment?

Should you pray and “listen” for a prompting from the Spirit? Should you use wisdom to figure out the best of all possible options? Exactly what does God expect from you?

When we look for the one best course of action—the one person in this world we should marry, the best educational track, the ideal job, that one path out of a million that is God’s will—that approach to life reflects a misunderstanding of our role in the world.

What Does God Want from Mankind?

God told us humanity’s role when he created mankind.

Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule …”

Our task is to rule. We are to be co-regents with God in reigning over his creation. That’s why we were created, and it’s the goal toward which all history is moving.

2 Timothy 2:12 If we endure, we will also reign with him.

It’s the goal of Christ’s work of redemption.

Revelation 5:9 And they sang a new song: “You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. 10 You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth.”

We are God’s servants, to be sure. But that’s not all we are. God also wants us to function as kings, co-ruling with him over his world.

Is Seeking the Best Option Misguided?

If we were only slaves, God might have simply said, “I’ll just tell you what I want you to do every moment.” (Actually, that might be more the role of a robot than a slave. Even slaves have some discretion in how they do things.)

So what does it look like to be a slave/king?

As God’s servants (and his children), we strive to make sure everything we do is pleasing to God. As kings, God wants us to make choices. Each moment, he wants you to look at the countless ways you could please him and pick one. Which one? Your choice.

In Acts 5, when people were selling their property and donating the money to the church, was God pleased? For those with good motives, yes, God was pleased. But does that mean God expected everyone to do it? No.

When Ananias sold his land and then lied about how much of the proceeds he donated, he was punished for lying. But before his punishment, Peter made an interesting remark.

Acts 5:4 Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal?

Literally, it’s “Wasn’t the money under your authority?” God, who owns everything, delegated the decision-making about that parcel of land and the money that came from it to Ananias. He didn’t have to donate it. He had the freedom to choose whatever he wanted.

How to Use Your Freedom

That’s not to say he was free to do something evil with it. Our freedom lies squarely inside the boundaries of that which is pleasing to God. Our freedom is not license to dabble in evil or even permission to wander close to the line. But it is freedom to choose among countless good options.

Suppose you have three children that you’re homeschooling. You take a break, and your oldest daughter goes over to the neighbor’s house and tells a friend about Jesus. Your son uses that time to clean his room—and his brother’s room. Your other son just hangs out with you and you have a great conversation with him because he shares his heart in a really honest way.

Are you displeased with any of them because they didn’t choose the best possible thing to do with their break? No. You’re pleased with all three because they all did something good.

And as a parent, isn’t the scenario I described better than if all three kids just asked you exactly what you wanted them to do during the break? Part of what made their choices pleasing to you was the fact that they chose them.

God Likes Variety

The night before his death, Jesus praised Mary for her extravagant act of faith and worship when she anointed him with perfume worth a year’s wages (Mk.14:3-9). What she did was wonderful and extremely pleasing to God.

But does that mean everyone should have done it? Should all the believers in Jerusalem have lined up to anoint Jesus with expensive perfume? No. Jesus never commanded that, nor did he rebuke anyone for not doing it.

When he commended Mary, he said, “She did what she could.” Implication—you should do what you can. Maybe you don’t have any expensive perfume. Maybe it doesn’t occur to you to anoint Jesus’ body for burial. That’s fine. You don’t have to do what Mary did. God wants you to express your love and trust in him in your way. You’re not Mary. And if you try to be Mary, it won’t come off well. Just do something, anything, that’s pleasing to God.

Does God expect you to pick the very best possible way of honoring him? I don’t think so. First, only God knows what the best possible option is at any given moment. And God doesn’t reveal that to us because he wants us to function as kings, not mere robots.

Second, if everyone picked the one best action, that wouldn’t be best because God clearly likes variety.

Which plant is best? You could make an argument for, say, the oak tree. I think it’s clearly more impressive, useful, and reflective of God’s glory than, say, a reed in a marsh. So if oaks are the best, why didn’t God make every plant in the world an oak tree? That wouldn’t be as good as the variety of vegetation God created. Some plants are better, others inferior, but the world as a whole is more marvelous with the variety.

Be an Artist with Your Day

When you make decisions, instead of trying to figure out the best possible option, think of each of your days as a work of art. When Mozart completed his Symphony 41, was it a bad day because it wasn’t Beethoven’s 5th? You might argue one is better than the other, but no one would wish both men had written the best one, leaving the other unwritten.

God made you a little king in his world, delegated authority over your possessions, money, skills, creativity, and ability, and he wants you to produce a work of art.

This is why when the Bible speaks of God’s will, instead of listing specific actions, we’re given moral principles. It’s God’s will for you to be holy (1 Thes.4:3), to do good (1 Pe.2:15), to be thankful (1 Thes.5:18), and to support missionaries (2 Cor.8:5). Everything the Bible presents as pleasing to God is the canvas of his will. On that canvas, he commissions us to paint our own masterpiece. We can paint whatever we want, so long as we stay on the canvas. God doesn’t want the same painting from everyone. Some may paint better than others, but to each of his children who remains on the canvas, he says, “Well done!” and is pleased.

What does God want you to do right now? Something good. Something righteous. Does he want you to try to figure out from him which good thing? Maybe sometimes, but most of the time, he wants you to just be a creative being and choose something.

So today, enjoy your freedom. Serve the Lord, and reign with him as a king.

 

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Are Fathers Bad at Their Job?

Are Dads Blowing It?

Chances are, you’re more disappointed with your dad than you are with your mom. Why is that? Are most fathers bad at their job?

Today is Father’s Day, and, of course, they made mention of it at church. On both Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, parents are celebrated. But not until the pastor says a word to those who are not happy on these holidays.

On Mother’s Day it’s usually something like, “Our hearts go out to those ladies who are heartbroken because they wish they had children.”

But they don’t say that on Father’s Day. For the men, the disclaimer is usually more like the one I heard today. “Many of you had terrible fathers.”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard them say that on Mother’s Day. If they did, few could relate. Most people think their mother is amazing. If the camera zooms in on a football player, it’s always, “Hi Mom!” Never “Hey Dad!” Those big, tough, specimens of masculinity, given the opportunity to give a shout out to just one parent, will always pick mom—even at the risk of being teased as a mama’s boy.

Ask a man about his father, and very often the response begins with, “Well, he was a man with some serious flaws. He wasn’t a perfect dad by any means, but I still love him. He did the best he could … in his own way.”

Ask about his mom and you just get, “She’s amazing.”

So many people have such disappointing fathers that the term “daddy issues” is a catchphrase in our culture. I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone complain that their life is messed up because of mommy issues.

Why is this?

The Burden of Breadwinning

No doubt there are multiple reasons. Men have the relentless burden of providing for the family. This requires not only a great number of hours working outside the home but also a mindset focused on career. It’s impossible to do that and compete with the amount of attention a stay-at-home mom can give to the kids.

Natural Equipping

And women are more relational and family-oriented than men by God’s design. So the parenting role comes more naturally to women than to men. Fathers have to be told not to exasperate their children (Ephesians 6:4). The writers of Scripture felt no need to give women a similar instruction.

This is not to say being a good mom is easy for women—any more than winning an Olympic gold medal is easy for world-class athletes. It’s still hard work, but it’s work they succeed at because of the way God designed them.

Roles

Another explanation may have to do with the different roles mothers and fathers play. Mothers are there for nurture, which is very easy to understand and appreciate. No one can kiss a skinned elbow and dry your tears like mom. Not to mention her feeding you, dressing you, helping you with every struggle you have, and attending to you all day long. Even for a child, it takes about one second to think of a hundred wonderful things mom has done for them.

Dad’s role is often less tangible. Paying the bills, providing safety and stability in the home, and administering strong discipline are crucial, but not as easy to appreciate or even notice.

Discontent by Design?

Perhaps you could add to the list of reasons people usually have more complaints about dad than about mom. I would suggest one more.

Could it be that fatherhood is such a marvelous reality that God made our appetite for it insatiable? Maybe we are unsatisfied with our fathers partly because of their failings and partly because God designed us to desire more from them than human fathers can give.

Most people are satisfied with what they received from their mother, but unsatisfied with what they got from dad. This may have as much to do with the child’s needs and desires as it does with the father’s failings.

Fatherhood is such an unspeakably marvelous reality, the benefits that can come from an ideal father are so incredibly valuable that when any of them are lacking it can cause lifelong damage. Could it be that God designed all of us to crave an ideal father-child relationship so deeply that our longings can never be satisfied by even the best human father?

Abba, Father

Why does the New Testament make so much of the fact that God relates to us as a father? Of all the amazing titles for God in prayer—Lord, King, Master, Holy One, Ancient of Days, Creator—Jesus taught us to pray, “Abba, Father.” There are many facets to our relationship with God, but the one Scripture emphasizes the most, by far, is the father-child relationship.

There are so many things God wants us to seek from him as our Father, so many elements of his fatherhood he wants us to enjoy, perhaps it was necessary to plant within us a craving so deep that no human father could satisfy it, lest we become overly contented and lose our desperation to find true fatherhood.

I can’t say with certainty why fathers fall short more often than mothers. But I can say this—every disappointment you have with your dad points to a God-given need in your soul for something only God can truly provide.

Sometimes people tell preachers not to say too much about the fatherhood of God because people with terrible fathers can’t relate to it. I disagree. In some ways, people with bad fathers have the deepest understanding of all about true fatherhood. Who can appreciate the value of something more than the person who has felt the agony of being deprived of that thing?

If you have experienced pain because of things your father did wrong, the very fact that feels so wrong to you is proof God has built into your soul a knowledge of the way fatherhood ought to be. And no one can take greater delight in experiencing God’s perfect fatherhood than you.

Happy Father’s Day.

(For a sermon on the topic of God’s fatherhood, click here)

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The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence

The main point of this little book is to argue that we should strive to exist in an awareness of God’s presence and a communion with Him all day long, so that every action throughout the day is a little act of communion with God.

The Place for Intensive Prayer

While I wholeheartedly agree with that premise and found the book helpful and inspiring, he goes too far when he implies that once a person learns how to draw near to the presence of God throughout the day, that kind of communion with God is all that is necessary. For Lawrence, there is no difference between his prayers during his daily activities and his private prayers in solitude. He seems to believe that when that is true there is no longer any need for the latter. From the gospels, however, we find that not even Jesus was so spiritual that He didn’t need to get away to be alone for extended times of prayer.

No Scripture

Secondly, there are no references to the Bible and no mention of Jesus throughout the book.
Lawrence was a Catholic monk who believed he had to pay for his own sins in order to approach God. He uses the word, “satisfaction.” “After having given myself wholly to God, to make all the satisfaction I could for my sins, I renounced, for the love of Him, everything that was not He, and I began to live as if there was none but He and I in the world.”

Asceticism

Lawrence also believed in asceticism—inflicting discomfort on yourself for the sake of being more spiritual. He says, “It is, however, proper to deprive it sometimes, nay often, of many little pleasures which are innocent and lawful. God will not permit a soul that desires to be devoted entirely to Him to take pleasures other than with Him.” It’s true that God calls us to take pleasure in him alone, but what Lawrence fails to understand is that it is possible to enjoy God through the pleasures of life. If it weren’t, then it would never be good to enjoy an earthly pleasure.

Buddhism

He writes, “That we ought to give ourselves up to GOD, with regard both to things temporal and spiritual, and seek our satisfaction only in the fulfilling of His will, whether He lead us by suffering or by consolation, for all would be equal to a soul truly resigned.” This sounds more like Buddhism than Christianity. Buddhism teaches the goal is to be indifferent to whether one is suffering or not. Christianity teaches us to seek relief from suffering and strive for joy.

Assurance of Forgiveness

Finally, Lawrence does not believe one can be assured of forgiveness. “So I assure you, that whatever pleasures I taste at the table of my King, my sins, ever present before my eyes, as well as the uncertainty of my pardon, torment me. Though I accept that torment as something pleasing to God.”

Is Suffering Sent by God?

One criticism that appeared in many reviews I read had to do with Lawrence’s belief that suffering comes from God and is designed to refine our faith. This is one teaching in the book that is right on, and I found it alarming that so many reviewers took issue with it. Are the hardships of life sent from God? Of course they are. The Bible is very clear on this.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other.

See also Amos 3:6; Job 42:11; I Sam.2:6-7; Dt.32:39; Job 2:9-10; Lam.3:32,33,38; Isa.45:7; Gen.50:20; Acts 4:28.

Conclusion

Even though Lawrence is right about suffering coming from God, I do not recommend this book. I love the idea that we should strive to make every action all day long a little act of fellowship with God. But once a person has that statement, there’s no need to read the rest of the book in my opinion.

View all my reviews

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“Perseverance? Priceless!” Commentary on James 1:3-4

Learning to Love Perseverance

A physical trainer might say, “Consider it pure joy when you feel the burn, because it means you’re getting stronger.” Would that motivate you? It depends on how much you value strong muscles.

If he said, “Consider it pure joy when you feel that burn because when you do, I’ll give you a million dollars,” then more people would find it possible to consider it pure joy. The joy only comes when the benefit matters to you.

That’s a problem, because most of us don’t walk around thinking, “Oh, I want perseverance so much!” James knows that, so he’s going to show us what an incalculable treasure perseverance really is.

Eternal Life

Last time we considered how miserable life gets when you lack perseverance. You can’t reach your goals, you can’t get things done, you can’t outlast your trials. You always end up quitting or responding in some sinful way. But none of that is the worst part. The worst part has to do with your eternal destiny.

“He who stands firm to the end will be saved” (Matthew 10:22).

Eternal salvation is only for those who persevere. People who don’t stand firm won’t remain faithful through the tribulation, and Judgment Day won’t go well for them.

“Those on the rock … believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. … The seed on good soil stands for those who … by persevering produce a crop” (Luke 8:15 emphasis mine).

“To those who by perseverance in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life. 8 But for those who … follow evil, there will be wrath and anger” (Romans 2:7 emphasis mine).

Those who fail to persevere to the end will be lost forever. And perseverance is not automatic for believers. It requires strenuous effort.

“We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. 12 We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and perseverance inherit what has been promised” (Hebrews 6:11-12 emphasis mine).

If you lack perseverance, your life will end in disaster.

Maturity

But look what James promises for those who do have it:

“Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 4:4).

Maturity is when you reach the form you were designed to have. Leaving behind your caterpillar form to emerge as a butterfly. An oak tree instead of an acorn. Being a functioning, healthy adult instead of a helpless infant.

We know what social maturity is—responding in social situations like an adult. But what is spiritual maturity? It’s when you respond to spiritual situations the way God designed you to function.

You’ll see it in your emotional responses. How does it affect your emotions when you hear about someone in our church who repented of a sin compared to how you feel when your football team wins or you get a raise at work?

Spiritual maturity affects your assumptions about people. Love always assumes the best possible motive. The flesh assumes what it wants to assume. How far along that line of maturity have you progressed?

How about attitudes? Do your thoughts about authority, suffering, marriage, the church, the world, or the lost mirror God’s attitudes?

Have your desires reached maturity? Do you want the most valuable things the most, or are you still craving temporal things more than eternal things? How does your desire for a new car, a better house, or an easier life compare to your desire for eternal reward on judgment day?

Do you have mature values? Could someone tell by watching your life that eternal things are far more precious to you than temporal things?

John MacArthur defines spiritual maturity as a state where your involuntary reactions are godly. When you have spiritually mature attitudes, assessments, emotions, values, and desires, your knee-jerk, involuntary reactions will reflect the heart of God. That is spiritual maturity.

Do you want that? It comes one way—through perseverance.

Perseverance and Other Virtues

The reason you need perseverance to reach maturity is that all other virtues depend on perseverance. Scripture calls us to persevere in doing good, in hope, in ministry, in doing God’s will, in running the race, in hard work, and in faith.

What good is any virtue without perseverance? What good is love that grinds to a halt when things get hard? What good is humility that evaporates when you most need it? What value is there in kindness, generosity, servanthood, peacemaking, wisdom, joy, honesty, self-control, or any other virtue if it fizzles when tested? Every virtue depends on perseverance to have any value.

This is why James says perseverance will make you mature and complete not lacking anything. Perseverance is far more valuable than a million dollars. It is priceless.

That is not to say it is the final goal. It’s not. The final goal is to become mature and complete not lacking anything. But you can never reach that goal without perseverance.

Are you getting a feel for the value of perseverance? With it you can finish what you start, follow through on your commitments and resolutions, stand firm through the storms of life, maintain relationships through hard times, outlast your trials, flourish in all the other virtues in your life, become mature and complete not lacking anything, make it through the Great Tribulation, and, on Judgment Day, you will hear those words from the Judge’s mouth:

“[I know your deeds…] You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name and have not grown weary” (Revelation 2:3).

That is why, whenever a trial or hardship comes into your life, it is an occasion for rejoicing.

Application

How many trials are you likely to face today? Dozens, no doubt. Most will be so minor that you barely notice them. But the best way to learn how to consider big trials pure joy is to practice on little ones.

Normally, it’s better to be on the lookout for blessings, not trials. But today, be alert as often as possible to those moments when the ball doesn’t bounce your way and practice considering it pure joy because of the perseverance it builds in you.

 

Notes on James 1:4

James 1:4 Interlinear

ἡ    δὲ     ὑπομονὴ     ἔργον   τέλειον      ἐχέτω,        ἵνα            ἦτε          τέλειοι

he    de      hupomone      ergon     teleion          eketo,           hina                ete              teleioi    

the   but     perseverance      work      complete       let it have       in order that     ya’ll may be      complete

 

 

καὶ   ὁλόκληροι   ἐν   μηδενὶ     λειπόμενοι

kai     holokleroi     en    medeni       leipomenoi

and        mature          in      nothing             lacking

 

 

let it have

This word is in the imperative mood. James is commanding us to let perseverance have its complete work.

complete

James uses this word twice in the verse. When the perseverance process is complete, it makes you complete.

 

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“Outlasting Your Trials” Commentary on James 1:2-3

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 knowing that the testing/proving of your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:2-3 author’s translation).

*****

When James tells us to consider trials pure joy, he’s not calling us to a shallow, mindless optimism or positive thinking (“I got hit by a car. At least it wasn’t a bus!”). The joy James is speaking of is a real joy that comes from understanding the priceless value of the outcome. Interpret suffering as a good thing because you know you’re going to get perseverance from it.

Definition of Perseverance

Perseverance is the ability to outlast your trial. For the Christian, all suffering is temporary. And the goal is to still be standing firm at the end.

Some people have no perseverance at all. It only takes one half of one second for them to revert to some sinful response. Others can hang in for a while, others a little longer. But what really matters is standing firm all the way until that trial is over without caving in.

Escape

We all have different ways of buckling under pressure. For some, it’s through escape. A conversation gets too hard and they just walk out of the room. A conflict in the church and they leave the fellowship. They quit their job, drop out of school, get a divorce. There’s always a tipping point that makes them run.

And if they can’t run physically, it’s an emotional retreat. They withdraw into a cocoon of coldness and silence.

Anger

For others, the sinful response is not avoidance, but anger. They fail to persevere in patience.

Doubt

Others falter in their faith. When trouble drags on too long, they question God’s wisdom, goodness, or love. They back away from God instead of running toward him. Prayer and Bible reading diminish. “It’s not working—why should I pray?” Excuses not to go to church multiply. They back off from serving. And before long, there is a coldness in their relationship with God that, years ago, would have alarmed them.

Distraction

Another form of caving in is resorting to some earthly distraction for comfort. “I’m having such a hard time—I deserve this indulgence.” They try to reward themselves with pleasures to make up for their suffering.

Quitting

Some falter by quitting. When things get hard, they bail. Half-finished projects litter their house. Resolutions die on the vine. Diets and trips to the gym only last a couple weeks. All the books in their library have a bookmark somewhere around chapter two. A good portion of their life is spent just staring at hard jobs. “Wow, that’s a lot of laundry ….” But they just can’t seem to get moving.

“I should study for that test.”

“I should write that paper.”

“I should do those labs”.

“I … wonder what’s on TV?”

Life without Perseverance

Life without perseverance is a nightmare. Everything ends in failure.

Why do we quit when things get hard? Isn’t it to make life easier? But it doesn’t. It makes life miserable. You always have this growing mountain of work you are supposed to be doing, and life becomes one giant truckload of guilt all the time.

It seems like shying away from hard things would result in a restful life. But instead of feeling refreshed and rested you feel more and more overwhelmed, even though you aren’t doing anything.

Add to that constant relationship problems. You don’t have any deep friendships, because you bail as soon as things get hard. Your marriage is always on life support because you can’t make it through any conflict without falling into sin. You don’t enjoy the benefits of love relationships because you don’t stick with them long enough to reap those benefits.

Worst of all, those who lack perseverance can be led by the nose wherever Satan wants them to go. All he has to do is place obstacles in the good path. Your worst enemy can steer you wherever he wants you to go.

Oh, what a priceless treasure is perseverance! Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials because you know they can produce in you one of the most valuable character traits you can have—perseverance.

Application

When you buckle under the pressure of a trial, which kind of buckling are you most prone to? Running away, giving up, getting angry, self-pity, rewarding yourself with some sin or distraction, or questioning God’s goodness, love, or power? Can you think of the last time you responded to trouble in one of those ways? What would it look like the next time you suffer a similar trial to persevere?

Keep in mind, the goal here is not to make you feel guilty about your lack of perseverance. James’ purpose is to elevate the value of perseverance in your heart, because the more you treasure that virtue and say, “Oh, how I wish I had more perseverance,” the easier it will be for you to consider it pure joy when you face trials because every trial is an opportunity to increase your perseverance.

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“Are You Being Tested?” Devotional Commentary on James 1:3

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (James 1:2-3)

This Is a Test

One key to joy in suffering lies in how you interpret your suffering (see Day 4). James helps us with that in James 1:3 when he refers to trials as “the testing of your faith.” A trial is anything that causes sorrow, anguish, or pain. And James is showing us that all trials are tests.

Sometimes people will say, “I wonder if this is some sort of test from God?” You don’t have to wonder. All trials are tests. You get a mosquito bite; that’s a test. You get terminal cancer; that’s a test. Your boss yells at you at work; that’s a test. You get in an accident and become a quadriplegic; that’s a test. Kids disobey—test. Cancer—test. You find today’s chapter in this book boring—test.

Tests of what? Your faith.

“… the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (James 1:3 emphasis mine)

Every event of hardship in your life, big or small, is designed to test your faith.

Test Results

So how do you read the test results? Pay attention to your responses to trials. When something doesn’t go your way, do you respond like someone who trusts God and believes his promises? Or like someone who holds the world’s ideas? Does suffering tend to draw you closer to God or push you away from him? True faith runs toward God. Dead faith questions God’s goodness, wisdom, or power and drifts away from God when things go bad.

Application

Think of the last two or three hardships you’ve had—small ones and big ones. What are the test results? Did you respond like someone who trusts God?

What kind of trials do you see on the horizon? What might go wrong today or tomorrow? Take a moment to daydream about what it would look like for those mishaps to drive you closer to God.

Notes

“trials” (James 1:2)

The Greek word translated “trials” is peirasmo. It word can either mean suffering or temptation depending on the context. Here, the context is clearly suffering.

Peter uses that same word to teach us some very similar principles about suffering. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials” (1 Peter 1:6). Trials cause grief or sorrow in your heart. And they burn like fire. “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12 emphasis mine).

 

“the testing of your faith” (James 1:3)

The word for “testing” (Greek dokimion) carries both the concepts of testing and refining—like a furnace that both tests and purifies gold. And it is the sort of test that not only reveals the current strength of your faith but also improves it.

Like James, Peter also equates trials with testing. “…you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith … may be proved genuine” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

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“Why Is This Happening?” – Devotional Commentary on James 1:2

Are there some intruders in your life—unwelcome hardships that have broken into your life and are now causing problems for you? The way you define those hardships can make a night and day difference in how much joy you have today—and whether those hardships accomplish their purpose in your life or not. How would you define the word “hardship” or “trial”?

*****

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4, author’s translation).

Sent to Change You

The first command in James is to consider trials pure joy. The second is to let perseverance do its work. If the only ways out of the furnace are sin, stay in the furnace. Stay there until God provides a way out that does not involve anger, self-pity, bailing out on responsibilities, complaining, or any other sinful response.

The fact that perseverance has work to finish implies trials are not just hardships. They are hardships designed to change you. Every difficulty in your life is a good thing sent by God to change you.

We are always being molded and shaped by the Potter’s hand. Or to use the language of Hebrews 12, God is training us. Nobody trains to be the same. Training is for changing. If you want to go from being weak to being strong, you get a physical trainer and go through the workout regimen. If you want to go from being unskilled at a job to mastery, you go through the training. Training is for growth and change.

That simple principle can revolutionize the way you interpret your trials. After a terrible night’s sleep, instead of just thinking about how tired you’re going to be all day, think, “God, let that happen to change me. He wants my character to be more like Jesus today than it was yesterday, so he kept me from getting rest last night.”

You get a nasty email and think, “This happened because God wants me to change from the old me with weak, wobbly faith, selfishness, pride, self-confidence, and bad attitudes, to a new me who can respond to something like that with humility, love, and trust in God.

The email really came from God. (And when you hit reply, God will be copied on your response.)

With every unpleasant thing that happens, pray, “God, let this train me. This dinner that I was looking forward to turned out to be a disappointment, let it change me. Thank you for sending this trial. Let it do its job in me.”

We All Need Refining

Nothing is more valuable than strong faith. And nothing is more damaging than weak, patchy, intermittent faith. But we all have faith that is weak, patchy, and intermittent at times. Our faith is like a piece of gold full of all kinds of impurities and contaminations. And there is one solution. It must be refined. And only fire can refine gold.

Some of those impurities are fool’s gold. They look just like real faith. And not even in your most honest moments can you discern whether it is real faith or fool’s gold. The only way to discover the dross is to get into the furnace and see what melts and what emerges as pure gold.

“When he has tested me, I will come forth as gold” (Job 23:10).

Application

When was the last time you complained (out loud or in your own mind)? What were you trying to accomplish? To gain sympathy from someone? To express anger? Just pure habit? Do you feel you gained anything by complaining?

Now imagine how it would have been different had you been thankful instead. Thankful for the countless blessings God has lavished on you, and, yes, thankful for the trial itself because it was a good thing sent by God to change you and refine your faith.

Is there a trial you’re suffering right now? Say it to yourself, out loud if need be: “This is a good thing, sent by God to change me.”

Then give some thought to how it shoIs there a trial you’re suffering right now? Say it to yourself, out loud if need be: “This is a good thing, senIs there a trial you’re suffering right now? Say it to yourself, out loud if need be: “This is a good thing, sent by God to change me.”t by God to change me.”uld change you and thank God for sending it.

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“Interpret Your Problems” Devotional Commentary on James 1:2

When James tells us to consider it pure joy when we face trials, does that apply to all hardships? What about problems that are your own fault? Or if it’s something that displeases the Lord?

*****

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2).

The Problem of Misinterpreting Trials

A great number of our problems come not from our suffering, but from wrong interpretation of suffering and undervaluing the benefits that come from suffering. Inability to properly interpret suffering is at the root of most relationship problems, spiritual problems, marriage problems, problems in your prayer life, emotional problems, fear, guilt, depression, anxiety, worry, anger, and selfishness.

James’ goal is to teach us the proper way to interpret hardships and awaken us to the immense value of the benefits our trials can provide.

The Right Way to Interpret trials

The starting point for finding joy during suffering is to place our suffering is to place suffering in the right category in our thinking. We must remind ourselves, “Regardless of how I feel or how things seem, this suffering is a good thing.” Reality must trump feeling.

Imagine you took your computer apart to replace the fan, and some annoying component was in your way. You say, “I’ll just bust that thing off and throw it away.” But a computer expert says, “No. Don’t do that. That part seems annoying, but’s actually a good thing. It’s the processor. Without it, the computer is useless.” Now that part is just as annoying as ever, but you are thinking about it as a valuable, good thing now instead of something you want to get rid of. If you trust the computer expert, your values will change. What seemed worthless is now valuable in your eyes.

If the medicine tastes terrible but the doctor says, “Without it, you’ll die,” you will pay good money for that horrible tasting medicine because you think of it as a good thing—if you trust the doctor.

Step one for finding joy in suffering is to listen to God when he says, “Trust me. This suffering I bring into your life is a good thing.”

Teach Your Children

One of the biggest favors you can do for your children is to teach them this. We all naturally think suffering is our enemy. And when a child thinks that, and he is faced with hardships he can’t escape, his life can become unbearable. Many behavioral problems in children come from the child not knowing how to handle suffering.

And that ignorance often persists into adulthood, resulting in all kinds of sinful responses. We tell lies to avoid suffering. We get angry when people cause us suffering. We get consumed with worry because we fear future suffering. We get depressed because we see no way out of our suffering. We make foolish life decisions in an effort to minimize suffering. We over-indulge to distract ourselves from suffering or because we think we deserve a break from suffering. We fail to do things we know we should do because they involve suffering.

All those responses rise from wrong interpretations—like seeing the flowers and assuming they are for your husband’s secretary when, in reality they are for you. And all those problems can all be avoided if we simply believe God when he says, “Trust Me. This is a good thing.”

Which Suffering?

“What kinds of suffering does this include? Does this apply to suffering caused by sinful people around me? Or to suffering caused by my own stupidity? Does it apply to suffering sent by God as chastisement for sin? Is it only for major suffering, like losing a loved one? Or does it also apply to stubbing your toe? Is it just physical suffering, or also emotional suffering?”

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2, emphasis mine).

That word translated “of many kinds” points to the wideness of the variety. It is not just the categories you would normally think of. This applies to any kind of suffering. Big, small, your fault, someone else’s fault, physical, emotional—any and every kind of suffering. It all counts. Consider it all pure joy.

God is saying, “Trust me. This is good. It might be an evil thing that people are doing to you, it might be an evil thing that you did to yourself, but none of that changes the fact that what I’m doing a good.”

Application

If all the suffering in your life is good, does that mean you should seek more suffering? No. Thankfully, you can trust God to take care of giving you however much you need. You don’t have to seek it out. In fact, Scripture even teaches that it’s okay for us to seek relief from our suffering, as long as we can do so without violating any principles in God’s Word (See 1 Timothy 5:23 as an example). When James tells us to consider trials pure joy, he’s referring to suffering you can’t escape without sinning.

Of all the hardships in your life, are there any of them that need some reinterpretation in your heart? You haven’t accepted that God knew what he was doing when he put that trial in your path. You can’t consider it pure joy because you’re still stuck on thinking it’s a bad thing instead of trusting the Expert in heaven who assures you it’s a good thing.

Run through the trials in your life right now and remind yourself for each one of them, one at a time, that they are good gifts from God, serving his good purposes. And thank him for that.

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Escape from Paradise Chapters 26-28 Study Questions

Chapter 26 MeaningsAdam’s Peace

“Adam had … envisioned himself crashing into the banquet hall, clutching the Ruler by the arm, and beseeching him to come with him to the orchard. … But now, as they strolled along the path to the cottage, all his anxieties settled behind the solemnity of the moment. Peace fell upon him as he watched the swaying treetops massage the sky in the cool breeze. As urgent as his concern for Abigail was, he sensed the Ruler could be trusted to carry that anxiety while Adam faced the momentous occasion at hand.”

This illustrates Jesus’ promise of peace to those who come to him.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28-30).

The Foyer

The entry to the cottage features a series of plaques detailing how all things came to be and how the half-real world became broken and lost its connection with reality. This is the book of Genesis.

The Ten-Sided Room

Each of the ten walls emitted a different color. This room is the law of God, which is based on the Ten Commandments. God’s law reflects his will, which is an expression of his nature.

On each of the walls hung a mirror. This illustrates the fact that God’s Word exposes the reader’s heart like a mirror (James 1:23).

“Utterly condemned, his lungs still drew air but in the truest sense, he was dead. This room had killed him by showing him that on the inside, in the ways that matter most, he had been dead all his life.”

This illustrates the condemning ministry of God’s law.

“For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful” (Romans 7:11-13).

The Blood Room

The blood room is the place where the Father slaughtered the Ruler as he bore the punishment for his people’s sins.

This illustrates the cross, where it was the Lord’s will to crush Jesus (Isaiah 53:10) as a sacrifice for our sins (1 Peter 2:24).

The Promise Room

Multiple padlocks and deadbolts sealed the promise room, and only the Ruler could gain entry. This is to show that our access to God’s promises comes only through Christ (2 Corinthians 1:20).

The room contained people at rest and people carrying out great projects. It is in trusting God’s promises that we find rest (Isaiah 26:3) and perform mighty deeds (Matthew 17:20).

That the room had no floor illustrates the need to trust the Lord. Only by trusting him can one remain in the realm of God’s promises (Ephesians 1:18-19).

Chapters 27-28 MeaningsThe Promise Room (cont’d)

“The Ruler’s smile lit up the entire promise room as Adam walked to him across the floorless expanse without sinking an inch.”

The most fundamental way we can please the Lord is by trusting him (Hebrews 11:6).

Adam faces a test of faith when he is forced to choose between his greatest desire (returning to his family) and being with the Ruler. The story of the treasure in the field (Matthew 13:44) shows him it is joy that drives a person to forsake all he has in exchange for the Lord, because the Lord is worth so much more.

“Use the Mirrors”

Anzu chastises Dagon, the demon assigned to Adam, saying, “You had one job.” All Satanic attacks really boil down to one objective: destroy our faith. Unless Satan can get us to lay down the shield of faith, all the rest of his efforts are useless because faith extinguishes his burning arrows (Ephesians 6:16).

Anzu instructs Dagon to use the mirrors. The law of God is designed to condemn the unbeliever and drive him to Christ. But Satan also tempts us to use the law in a legalistic, self-justifying way (Dagon tempts Adam with thoughts like, “I’ve never killed anyone …”).

Sift You as Wheat

The Ruler warns Adam of an enemy who has the power to sift him as wheat. This phrase comes from the warning Jesus gave Peter in Luke 22:31. Satan is powerful, and if we lay down the shield of faith, he makes short work of us.

Trust in Christ’s Work Alone

The Ruler’s penetrating gaze lays bare Adam’s self-justifying thoughts, illustrating God’s examination of our hearts (1 Samuel 16:7).

“Adam, he who justifies himself will have himself as a defense and no other. But he who comes defenseless—I will plead his case.”

When God is angry with us, the only remedy is God himself pleading our case (Micah 7:9). Self-justification results in condemnation (Luke 18:9-14).

Salvation

When Adam trusts the Ruler more than he trusts himself, the Ruler is elated and gives Adam the blue fluid, which stands for grace. In this case, saving grace (Ephesians 2:8-9).

Then the adjacent room erupts with celebration. This illustrates the rejoicing of God and his angels over each repentant sinner (Luke 15:10).

Adam then looks in the mirror again and discovers he now resembles the Ruler. This illustrates the washing and transformation that takes place at conversion (1 Corinthians 6:11). The new self is a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), created to be like God (Ephesians 4:24).

The Ruler then promises Adam that as he walks with the wind, he will grow deeper into this new identity. The Christian life is a process of becoming more and more what we already are (Ephesians 5:8).

The Ruler assures Adam that all his past wrongs are forgiven and the Father’s anger is erased.

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” (Psalms 103:12).

“All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions— it is by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2:3-5).

“… You turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead— Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath” (1 Thessalonians 1:9-10).

Adam is now the Ruler’s brother.

“Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers” (Hebrews 2:11).

“His love for you is now just like his love for me, because when you trust me, you are connected to me in the Father’s eyes—grace by association.”

This illustrates the concept of our being in Christ. Our association with Christ is so close that all the Father’s favor on Christ lands also on us. See John 17:23, Ephesians 2:7, and 1 Corinthians 1:30 as a few of many, many passages that speak of us receiving favor from the Father because we are “in Christ.”

Study Questions

QUESTION 1

Even unbelievers can read the Bible and understand the meaning of the words and sentences. So what aspects of Bible study require divine intervention? See 1 Corinthians 2:14-16; Psalm 119:18; 2 Timothy 2:7.

QUESTION 2

In what sense is the Bible a source of light? See Psalm 36:9; 119:105, 2 Corinthians 4:4–6, Psalm 119:130.

 

 

 

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