Holly Dickson-Ramos's Blog, page 8

Access

There are borders to your heart. Access is limited. The same is true for mine. And although I carefully guard admission to my own heart, I long for an open invitation to yours. To someone’s. Do you? The invitation we’re longing for – the unlimited access and unfailing love we chase after…. it’s available. I... Continue Reading →

Stay

The allure of what I don’t have, and a restless drive to be somewhere other than here compel me to shop when I shouldn’t. I could go there and buy that. The idea sparkles in my mind. A warm pair of socks that won’t slip down in my boots as I walk. PJs that actually... Continue Reading →

Best Attempt to Date – Butter Chicken!

The aroma of spices so saturated my skirt, I used to hang it outside, on the line. That summer I was in my early twenties, unfamiliar with international cuisine, and waitressing split shifts at an Indian restaurant. A poor student, I couldn’t say no when the cook offered me free leftovers… so most nights supper... Continue Reading →

Off Limits

I dislike restrictions. NO is not something a free spirit wants to hear. If I had my way, fifty trees would fill the front yard and chickens and goats would be penned out back. A Pekingnese would snuffle through the house at my feet. My closet would be packed with clothing and I’d need extra... Continue Reading →

Thanksgiving

After a year and a half of at-home shifts, I worked, yesterday and today, on site. I feel unusually tired. My head aches a bit. But I am thankful – oh so thankful. Monday is Thanksgiving in Canada. This weekend I am thankful for flowers and colourful leaves. For work. For God’s provision. Money in... Continue Reading →

Ideal You

Do you dream about an ideal version of yourself? The person you hope to be ten years from now? I do. Today I am less assertive, less selfless and more materialistic than I’d like to be. Ideal Me exists in my mind… but how do I get from This Me to That Me? Have you... Continue Reading →

Insatiable

I want something. I want it bad. It distracts me. It maddens me. It is an obsession. Being without it makes me gloomy, disappointed and angry.  There is a question that scares me – a question I prefer not to ask myself, but one that I force myself to think about routinely: What would happen... Continue Reading →

Labour Day Fun

Homemade frozen yogurt, canned tomato sauce, bagels and burgers were born in our kitchen this morning. In Canada, Labour Day marks the final day of the last weekend before school starts. Soon the fall routine will begin. A half bushel of beautiful tomatoes sat in our car, sent home with us after a visit with... Continue Reading →

Lone Ranger Woman

I am drawn to the image of the lone ranger woman. Courageous. Independent. Confident. Fulfilled. She wears whatever she likes, does what she enjoys and needs approval from no one. The reality, though, is that often I fixate on pleasing others. I obsess over it.  Leah, a woman whose story is told in the Bible,... Continue Reading →

Seen. Wanted. Loved.

Have you ever felt unseen, unwanted and unloved?  I’m learning a lot about control these days and one aspect of control that’s new to me is the idea of defensive control. Feelings like the ones I just mentioned often spring from how others treat us, and these feelings cause pain. So we lash out. Defensively.... Continue Reading →