Jyvur Entropy's Blog, page 8

WWW Weds: The Best Thriller I’ve Ever Read

This is a weekly meme hosted by Sam at Taking on a World of Words.

It’s been a very busy week for me. The anthology project I’ve been working on with several other writers for months is finally coming into the home stretch! I’ve done a few interviews with my fellow writers for my youtube channel and those will be released sometime in the near future. I’m just waiting on dates from the person running the project. She’s got a whole marketing plan in the works.

What Did You Recently Finish Reading?

Most of the reading I did this week was beta reading for the soon-to-be-published anthology. I beta read several short eroticas and novella-length romance stories. There’s one M/M Western going into the book that I’m particularly excited about! And I have a youtube video coming out where I had a great chat with the two guys who wrote the story. We talked about the Western genre, romance, and lots of other topics.

I also finished this book and WOW! This has to be the best thriller I’ve read. Such a great premise. So much action. This book was pure chaos and I absolutely loved it. I read it in two days, because I just couldn’t put it down. Here’s my full review of the book on booktube:

What Are You Currently Reading?

It’s amazing to me how much mainstream support antifa has. There are videos of their violent behavior all over youtube.

They fucking beat and fire-bombed civilians.

You can easily fact-check this and find the police reports/livestream footage/loads of fucking verifiable proof all over the internet.The original antifa group in Germany-the or Antifaschistische Aktion- played a major role in the Nazi party coming to power. Not only did they spend all of their time fighting the social democrats (which they viewed as fascists more than the literal Nazis) dividing the public and allowing the Nazi party to gain majority seats in parliament. But they actively cooperated with the Nazis to fight the social democrats.

Antifa doesn’t have a great history of knowing what the fuck actual fascism is. Many of the original antifa members believed that democracy inevitably leads to fascism….

So TLDR: this group has always been a bunch of LARPing retards.

They want to act like they get a get out of terrorism free card because “IT’s NOt aN OFFicIAL OrGaNIzatIOn!”

They are obviously very organized, even if they do not have an official structure. They’re wearing fucking uniforms. That’s what black bloc is.

One more thing about anitfa: This is just a personal theory of mine…Y’all looked at the mugshots of antifa men?

Yeah….I think the problem here might be that they don’t have many other ways to claim status or attention from women. Sorry, guys. Antifa men are…well, it ain’t looking so good.

So they’ve spent their lives feeling pushed around and pathetic and they find a way to claim of slice of rebel anti-hero badassery. No different than the school shooters who got bullied and ignored by women. They think violence is the way to reclaim masculinity (and okay, antifa has a large number of MtF trans people-I will openly admit I haven’t quite figured out how this works into my fragile masculinity theory, or if it does at all. I mean, hey 77% of antifa is cis men, but there are also cis women. Maybe trans women are just joining antifa for their own reasons, just like the cis women-my fragile masculinity theory still holds up then).

So these small-shouldered, unfortunate-looking men hide like a bunch of pussies in a whole crowd of black block and beat journalists like Andy Ngo into brain damage, set homes of fire, even murder children-like the eight year old girl who was shot when her caregiver mistakenly drove into an area they had claimed. You can start your independent research on these evil fucks by reading about that murder here.

These men want to be viewed as anti-heroes, as strong, as badass.

They’re a bunch of evil fucking cowards who aren’t shit outside the safety of a black bloc crowd.

I’m finally reading the third Wheel of Time book! The Biblical imagery is REALLY cranked up in this book. I mean, Rand is the Dragon Reborn and he has a bunch of followers and some of those followers are doubting him and people in power want to take him down.

Then the Dark One keeps trying to temp all the Ta’veren into coming to his side.

Also Rand is a Shepherd. I’m just saying, I see a LOT of Biblical allegory in this.

Not a complaint or anything. Just something I’ve noticed that distinguishes it from the two earlier books, where the Christian themes were more subtle.

What Are You Going to Read Next?

Well my author friend Emily Hurricane has just started a book club in her discord sever. I’m super excited about it! We’re reading Dracula as our first read. A great choice for October.

I’ll be doing a readalone livestream this Friday at 3pm EST if anybody wants to come read the first few chapters with me!

?That’s it for me! What are you reading this week!

Gah! What are you WRITING this week?

If you’d like some input from a couple of experienced writers, Emily Hurricane and I are hosting writing drop-in help tomorrow at 10 am EST in my discord server. Feel free to pop in with questions or to have a short piece of writing critiqued! Join here

Writing Software

https://jyvurentropyblog.tumblr.com/post/663043939702554624/the-best-software-to-organize-your-story

Emotional Blackmail

In a perfect world, people could simply communicate boundaries to one another without a fight. But humans usually aren’t that chill.

I’ve noticed a common theme in arguments. I’ve noticed this in arguments I’ve gotten into myself, arguments I’ve witnessed between mutual friends, and in all my long hours of binging reality television programs. A lot of people use a really manipulative tactic to keep others from setting boundaries.

It goes something like this:

Person A: Hey, I really don’t like when you do X-thing. Could you please not do it anymore?

Person B: How dare you act like I’m a bad person! How could you say that?! Why are you attacking me?!!

Person A: I’m just telling you I don’t like X-thing…

Person B: You have no reason to be upset over X-thing! You’re making a big deal out of nothing! If I can’t even do X-thing, then you’re oversensitive and I guess I can’t do ANYTHING without offending you! I just won’t say anything then! I’ll keep my mouth shut, because I’m not here for the drama and arguing!

Person A: I’m not either….I’m literally just asking you not to do X-thing anymore…

This was a tactic my mom used a lot. The tactic was effective. Anytime I spoke out about the horrific things happening in my house (when I was nine she nearly beat our dog to death with a chain in front of me, when my youngest sister was two my mom picked her up and hurled her into a wall and the wall broke, throughout my childhood she would wake me up in the middle of the night ripping me out of bed by my hair to scream in my face that she hated me and make me clean random things, etc etc), she would act like I was upset over nothing and pull the victim card.

She does that to this day and it’s why I don’t talk to her very often. She has successfully convinced the rest of the family that I’m the problem, because I’m the only one who ever says “Hey, all of that was really fucked up.”

I will give a brief example of what I’m talking about.

Mom: You were such a handful as a teenager, Jen. Really put us through it.

Me: I wish you’d stop talking about the mental health problems I had as a teenager. All of my erratic behavior was because of all the crazy shit you did to me.

Mom: Stop bringing up the past! You never let anything go! You don’t know how hard I had it! I was a kid when I had you. I did the best I could! Why are you making me feel like this? why are you doing this to me??!

Me: I wouldn’t bring it up if you didn’t keep talking about my mental health history.

Mom: So you’re saying I deserve to be attacked? You’re saying you hate me?

Me: (Finally snapping and done with her bullshit) Sometimes I do feel like I hate you. You’re a shit human being.

And then the version that she relates to the rest of the family is that I called her screaming about all the abuse I can’t leave in the past, called her a shit human being, and hung up.

Everyone in my family has always preferred to focus on my emotional reactions to my mom, and make excuses for the terrible things she’s done. I’m the pain in the ass who won’t just hop over the missing stair.

Because of this history with my mom, I can not take people who have these emotional “How could you say that to me???!” reactions to me laying down a boundary.

It took me a really long time to become a person comfortable with expressing boundaries and I won’t let anybody undo any of that progress.

When I was younger, I was so afraid of people having the sort of hurt/angry/outraged response that my mom always had, that I just wouldn’t firmly stick to boundaries.

The first sexual relationship I ever had was awful. I dated the most pornsick fuck to ever exist my Senior year of high school. He was a virgin and I was a virgin, but he wanted to do all kinds of strange sex acts, sex acts I absolutely wasn’t comfortable with. But when I told him this, he would act hurt/angry/outraged. Why didn’t I want to have anal sex? Didn’t I trust him? Was I calling him a pervert? Did I think he was a gay? Was I calling him a freak for asking? And no amount of “No, I just don’t want to do that” got through to him.

He acted so hurt that I’d expressed a boundary. To him, me expressing this boundary was me calling him a bad person. Back then, I really thought I was the mean, hurtful one to not do what he asked. So I caved. And I greatly regretted it.

At this point in my life, I recognize that behavior for what it is. It’s manipulative.

People who have an emotional victim-card temper tantrum over being told “No, I don’t like that” or “hey, please don’t do that again” have a couple of goals:

Over-ride your “no”-get you to agree to something you aren’t comfortable with or get you to agree there was nothing wrong with their behavior so they can continue. Make the situation of expressing a boundary so uncomfortable for you that you never ever do it again. They don’t want you to feel comfortable setting boundaries.

So my fellow abuse survivors, take this advice: Don’t suffer this manipulative bullshit.

You have a right to express your boundaries without someone pulling the “How could you SAY that to me??!!” emotional blackmail.

If you are an abuse survivor, it likely took you a very long time to become comfortable saying “no” and “Please don’t do that.”

Do not let anybody guilt you/fight you into regressing.

This is a toxic trait. People who do this usually have very low self-esteem and simply can’t stand to do any real self-work. They can’t address any flaws or shortcomings, because their sense of self is so weak.

Maybe that’s sad, but it isn’t your problem to fix.

This Escalated Quickly (and I love it XD)

This book was INCREDIBLE!! Best book I’ve read this year by a landslide. Criminey, this book is full of action! I love everything about the premise. You have two hurricanes colliding into a super storm, about to cause mini-tsunamis and flood all of Florida, and the guards realize the prison is not going to make it. They abandon the prison, but first open all the cells to give the prisoners a fighting chance of surviving.

Of course, this leads to absolute fucking pandemonium and I LOVED it. This is a prison full of incredibly violent men. As one of the guards tells a brand new guard “If Hannibal Lector were real, he’d be in here.” Well that new guard is a 5’6 115 pound woman who gets forgotten and left behind her first day on the job, the da of the superstorm. A massive storm rages outside, threatening to tear apart the prison, all while she is a small woman with no CO experience trapped with 800 rapists, murderers, gang members, and pedophiles.

Every time you think this book can’t get any more chaotic, something new happens. Just escalating chaos until the ending, which is AMAZING.

I loved Jack’s character arc. I loved the twist at the end with Sawyer’s connection to Jack (definitely didn’t see it coming, but the clues WERE there all along, just very subtle).

Felix made this freaking book for me. He’s hilarious. He’s just erratic enough to make him a wild card, but he still has a lot of kindness in him.

Oh, and best scene, hands down, the main characters are running from a group of Crips, they all round a corner and find a group of men with crosses drawn on their face and a dude in a stolen Chaplain’s clothes. The Crips see them and immediately turn and run in the opposite direction XD
This had me going “Oh shit, these guys must be bad news if the Crips immediately turn and run.” And they were. They turned out to be a gang led by a cannibal serial killer escaped from the high security unit who in the few hours since the guards abandoned the prison, performed very creative and graphic acts of violence across the prison.

The book is a wild ride of violence, action, and chaos, both nature and man made.

I binged this book in two days. It might be the best thriller I ever read.

Goodreads | Amazon

Review: Renovate by Nikki Kiley

They’ve been hired to remodel a mansion. Will they end up getting a room?

Marisa Sanchez has grand designs for her future. After taking over her grandfather’s construction firm, the successful vlogger and civil engineer is about to take the next step with a new show on the Home Design Network. But she’s not pleased to find out she can only have the lucrative gig if she agrees to work with a handsome rival.

Levi Chance takes the responsibility of providing for his brothers seriously. So when his biggest client asks him to come into the spotlight to co-host a new program, he reluctantly accepts. But he fears the pretty, camera-loving partner he’s been assigned might bring his top-notch reputation tumbling down if she can’t deliver the goods.

Discovering her teammate is quite capable, Marisa battles her attraction to him as she ambitiously turns the project upside down. And the more Levi works with the smart Latina, the more he worries he’s about to push the “no sex” morality clause in their contract into forbidden territory.

Will Marisa and Levi’s fixer-upper turn into a happily together forever?

Renovated is the charming first book in the moving Chance Brothers contemporary romance series. If you like sparkling attractions, comedic moments, and steamy action, then you’ll love Nikki Kiley’s well-built romp.

My review!

This was a really cute rom-com with a unique premise. I love when a contemporary romance has an interesting twist, and I’ve always like home renovation shows, so this twist was a fun one. The chemistry between the two leads was great, very cute and fun. I also really loved all the setting details and how Cuban culture is infused throughout the setting.

If you like cute rom-coms, HGTV, and Miami, this is fun read that I think you’ll enjoy

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58302010-renovated
Purchase:Amazon: https://amzn.to/3Bo7V0a

AUTHOR BIO:Nikki Kiley is an aspiring author of Contemporary Romance. Since she was a young girl, she dreamt of writing stories that would entertain and move her readers, like she was and still is, by talented authors.

When not working the day job running a medical office, she spends hours crafting and writing stories about heroes and heroines earning their chance at love. She makes her home in Puerto Rico with her husband, two young adult children, and a gentle giant, the bull mastiff, Kira.

She loves the beach, her Nespresso maker, and cupcakes (S’more in particular).
Author links:https://www.nikkikiley.com/https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21568574.Nikki_Kileyhttps://www.facebook.com/authornikkikileyhttps://twitter.com/byNikkiKileyhttps://www.instagram.com/authornikkikiley/

These People are Actually Evil

Back when I was on a revolving door in and out of psych wards, I always had the sense that the doctors and nurses were looking down on me. That I couldn’t trust them.

I really wish the people who ran this meme page understood how hurtful and upsetting this is.

This is a meme page of psych nurses making fun of psych patients.

Everybody is so rah-rah mental health until we get to psychosis. That’s where the woke train stops short. That’s why these evil people are allowed to be so brazen with the disgust they feel towards their own, highly vulnerable patients.

Jen_antwoord is one of my socks they blocked btw.

They can be evil, but they’re too damn sensitive to be told they’re being evil.

Literally talking about traumatized children being restrained saying “cry like a little b.”

I was in-patient for the first time when I was 14 years old. the nurses in that pediatric ward made fun of me right in front of me.

Please believe if they are okay publicly commenting on these disgusting memes out in the open, where anyone can see (many of them with their real ass names-I know because the psych patients of reddit went on a doxxing spree-if you make fun of literal crazy people with your real ass name, I don’t know what to tell you, sis-you’re begging to have your linkedin profile passed around-I did not participate in this, but I did watch and say ‘fuck you, bitches, you deserve it for the stupidity alone); if they’re doing this publicly, how on earth do you think they’re acting when they are alone with patients?

Any child who ends up in a pediatric unit is severely traumatized.

Getting put in a mental hospital is traumatizing in itself.

The lack of empathy is despicable. Evil.

You mean the people who have had all their human rights taken and depend on you for literally everything?

“Fuck them kids”…..

This hurts so much to read. Just…..when I was hospitalized at 14, it was after I’d had the absolute crap beat out of me, something that had been happening in my house for years. Then I was arrested because instead of cowering in a corner like I’d done all my life, I lost my shit and destroyed the house.

Then I was put in a hospital where nurses laughed at me and talked shit about me and the other kids at the nurses station, which was right across the hall from my room, so I heard all of it.

I thought I just had bad experiences.

“Fuck them kids.”

My heart really hurts. This is how psych nurses feel towards their pediatric patients.

I was a “frequent flier.”

I grew up in a very physically abusive home and I engaged in what is called “trauma reenactment” as a teen and young adult. I had no frame of reference for a healthy relationship. So I put myself into bad situations.

When I was anally raped by a high school boyfriend and he bragged about it to all of his friends, I went kind of crazy. Ages 18-21 I was in and out in and out in and out of psych wards.

This is all a very painful period of my life.

And they’re flippant about it.

Flippant.

Joking.

Punching down.

I hate everyone who has ever posted one of those laughing crying emojis on this page making a joke out of my trauma and pain.

Because they sedate the fuck out of you in the ER and being committed against your will is traumatic.

You absolute fucks.

Yep…funny funny….the overlap between the homeless and the mentally ill.

These bitches are fucking brainless.

Look at what they’re thinking about when they aren’t punching down, making memes about the people they are supposed to provide care for.

Newsflash bitches: if you need a specific type of pants to make your butt look good, your booty is a saggy piece of trash.

Spend more time doing squats and less time dunking on vulnerable people.

I’m of the opinion that you can joke about anything. No topic is off limits for jokes.

It’s all about how you go about the joke. What is the premise of the joke? And are you punching up or punching down?

Punching down, making fun of people for mental illness, something they can not help and are likely deeply ashamed of, it is not funny. It is based on the premise that the mentally ill should be mocked. Well….you’re mocking them.

I always felt like the nurses in the psych wards I stayed in were looking down on me.

Now those feelings have been vindicated.

And it just feels horrible.

As always, do not tell people to get mental health treatment. Those tasked with caring for the mentally ill hate them and hurt them.

You can see the cruelty for yourself here:

Involuntary psych memes instagram

And they sell merchandise….absolute fucking grifters. See: https://involuntarypsychmerch.com/

Twitter

WWW Weds: Reading Classics with a Modern Perspective is Complicated

A weekly meme hosted by Sam at Taking on a World of Words.

What Did I Recently Finish Reading?

I got all caught up on this sci-fi Kindle Vella serial. It’s by Eric Dabbs, a writer I’ve been keeping up with since all the way back in 2015 when we both used to write on Channillo.

This story is an incredible science fiction that is also a Biblical Allegory. God is a bit of a nefarious figure, so it’s really giving me Paradise Lost vibes. There are only 10 episodes posted so far, but Eric Dabbs is one of those organized writers who keeps to an update schedule

I finished my reread of Kafka’s ‘The Metamorphosis.’ This is a novella I’ve read many times and I spent a lot of time during my M.A program exploring this story and writing different papers about it.

It’s probably my favorite novella of all time.

If you’re interested, I did read the book aloud in a livestream (I’m aware my audio is shit). The book is in the public domain, which is why it’s okay to read on youtube.

And I read the first episode of Down Dockside, an erotic furry visual novel in pre-alpha launch. It was made by my friend Nik and I’m super proud of him and all the hard work he put into it! It’s been really popping off in the furry community.

The game is free to download on itch.io if you want to check it out here.

Lastly, I finished another Zoe Chant book.

And I also have a video about Zoe Chant, if anyone cares.

What Are You Currently Reading?

This is a really interesting secluded horror story. It’s set in a historic sanatorium, which is a neat deviation from the standard asylum setting.

I’m still working my way through this massive book. Really enjoying Kaladin’s arc so far. The life of a bridgeman is really sad and brutal.

I’m almost done with the 3rd story in the collection.

Everyone be mature, I’m gonna type out the name of the story. I tried to figure out all kinds of ways to say it without saying it. The title of the story is “The Nigger of the Narcissus.”

……………………………………………………………

This is not great.

I wish Conrad would have uncomplicated my upcoming review of this book by just NOT using such a harmful racial slur throughout the text.

Because the black character, James Wait, while an antagonist, is actually a truly complex and interesting character. Maybe other readers will have another take, but I’m not seeing any racist undertones in the text (like I see so clearly in Conrad’s most famous work ‘Heart of Darkness.’)

Jimmy (as the other men on the ship come to call him) is a pain in the ass, and he’s selfish and whiney. But he’s also eloquent and a skilled manipulator-these traits give him power. He is treated with respect as a character and given power-as the primary antagonist-within the text.

Criminey, could Conrad lay off the racial slurs though?

We all know what the book community is like. How in the hell am I gonna review this thing?

And I’m reading yet another Zoe Chant firefighter book. Chase’s dynamic with Connie is so adorable

What Will I Read Next?

My friend Emily Hurricane got one of her short stories published in a magazine, so of course I have to check that out! Here it is.

And I have a lot of arcs and blog tours to get caught up on.

Down Dockside is an Overnight Hit!

So my good friend Nik has launched the pre-alpha version of his erotic furry Visual Novel and it is soooo good!

Obviously I’m very biased, because Nik is the best and I love him. But people who don’t even know him are popping off about his game.

I’m so freaking thrilled for him! Y’all don’t know how hard this man worked on this game!

https://nikitty-studios.itch.io/down-dockside

The story is about Aska, a cheetah and a prostitute, working his way through the world and trying to save up enough money to move to a bigger city.

The setting is an Asian-inspired fantasy world. It’s a little steampunk, a little magical, a dash of Victorian era.

The characters are great, the artwork is expressive, and the story is complex and layered. Only the first episode is posted so far, but I’ve seen a lot of the work behind the scenes, and trust me, some really good stuff is coming

If you like furry stories or innovative forms of storytelling, I highly recommend checking it out

Download the game from Itch.io | Nikitty Studios Patreon | Nikitty Furaffinity | Nikitty Twitter

That’s it! I’m super proud of my friend and the overnight success of his game!

How Self-Publishing Distribution Works

https://jyvurentropyblog.tumblr.com/post/660091243254235136/how-self-publishing-distribution-works

The Misogyny of Shading Age-Gap Relationships

So recently in internet drama, Keemstar a 39-year-old man is dating a 20-year-old woman and both Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas have both heavily implied the guy is a pedophile. This set off a firestorm of criticism across the internet.

Because he is dating a grown woman.

A grown adult woman.

Who has the capacity to give consent.

This is nothing but pure misogyny. Treating women like objects, like some valuable resource, and then trying to control who has access to the most valuable of that resource (the youngest and most attractive) without any care given to what the woman herself wants; that is pure misogyny.

So many people are casually throwing around jokes like “Doesn’t Keemstar have a girlfriend to babysit?”

As if infantilizing adult women is so funny.

And people like to throw around the argument that it’s abusive for men that old to date women that young because “the brain doesn’t isn’t fully developed until age 25.”

Yet, I find it very telling these same people never use that brain development point to argue that 20-year-old women shouldn’t receive promotions at work, or be able to get tattoos, or engage in sex work.

Trisha Paytas wants to argue that a relationship with a man 19 years older is traumatic to young women. I would think sex work would be way more traumatic.

Lwt me be clear, I’m not so much anti sex work as I am like umm….I don’t think you should do that, sis.

Maybe I’m a hypocrite because I write smut. But I’ll put it this way, the idea of performing my sexuality online by showing off intimate areas or performing lewd acts makes me deeply uncomfortable. Putting out a smut sotry, words on a page that are not attached to my image, my voice, my body, etc (it’s why I won’t even read the lewd parts of my stories in youtube videos-dudes can fap to stories I write. Dudes can not fap directly TO ME-if I can help it.) I do see a big difference between the two, because there’s that big line of separation.

And I think it also says something that my husband doesn’t care even a little that I write smut. But he’s pretty disgusted by men married to sex workers. We actually had quite the debate over the Idubbz’s girlfriend situation.

I think a lot of men are like that: writing smut, meh who cares? shaking your ass in front of a webcam? No, thanks. Not the lady not for me.

But I guess anyone who doesn’t see the distinction…eh, fair enough.

I don’t think sex workers are bad people. I don’t think we should look down on them. And I’ll admit, I watch amateur porn on pornhub. So sex workers are performing a service that has some value to me.

At the same time, I don’t see how somebody could live that way and not have it affect them in an adverse way.

I never did any sex work. But I did sleep around a lot when I was younger. I went from being a virgin at 18 to having a double-digit body count by age 20. Many of those dudes, I didn’t even know their last name. I didn’t know anything about them. It never felt okay. It never felt enjoyable. But at the time, it seemed like that’s what I was supposed to be doing. Men always came at me like it was expected. All the other women I knew were hooking up and having casual sex. And I mean, I was raised in with a mom who managed a sex toy store. We had vibrators and anal beads all over the house when I was young. Porn was everywhere. Everyone at every stage of my life treated sex like this casual throwaway thing and so I treated it like a casual throwaway thing.

I think it does real harm to the human psyche when we treat sex like taking a dump-like some crass physical need to be filled, rather than as something sacred and precious to only be shared with someone who has committed to us.

Many of the same people who argue that age gap relationships harm young women, who go as far as to heavily imply that a 20 year old woman can not consent to a relationship with a 40 year old man, also advocate for the “right” of women to perform sex work.

Trisha Paytas argues that the age gap relationship Keemstar and his 20 year old girlfriend have will traumatize the girlfriend.

Yet, she’s a 33 year old collaborating with 23 year old Tana Mongeau on Only Fans. Are you shocked Tana is 23? Me too. Between that Real Housewives-esque plastic surgery and platinum blonde hair, she looks like a 42 year old divorcee who just got her groove back. Really younger woman, stop with the plastic surgery; it makes you look older. When a woman has noticeable plastic surgery, people are naturally going to assume she is at least 40.

I thought Tana Mongeau was older than ME (I’m about to turn 33).

Bad plastic surgery and gen-X hair aside, Tana Mongeau is only 23. And Trisha has no problem with collaborating with a much younger woman to create sexually-explicit content.

If the brain is not fully-developed until age 25, and that’s the entire premise for why Keemstar’s relationship is exploitative, than how can it be okay for a 23 year old to consent to sex work that will affect both her public image and her self-image? And let’s be real, it will affect which men will be willing to date her. She can consent to all of those consequences, but not to a relationship with a man a few years older?

The criticism of age gap relationships is both misogynistic and misandrist. It does what so much of feminism does: denies women, particularly young women, agency. It also places a hyper-vigilante lens on male sexuality, labeling a perfectly acceptable, consensual relationship as deviant. Implying a man dating a 20 year old adult woman is a pedophile, really?

It’s insulting and condescending to women and it’s a weird demonization of male sexuality. It’s gross on both counts.

If you want to say age gap relationships are a bad idea, that’s one thing. Personally, I’ve never dated anybody significantly older than me. The most I ever did was date a man in his late twenties when I was 20. I remember being hit on by older men online back when I was 18/19. This was back in the days of MySpace and a couple of times I got into flirty conversations with men in their 40s/50s. Every time it was initiated by them and each time I never really felt a spark. They were so different than me. So established with careers and houses. I couldn’t relate to them. Each of those flirtations fizzled out very quickly. I felt like I was talking to one of my corny uncles or something. I’ve never been able to feel sexual attraction for men significantly older. It works the opposite way too. I don’t think I could ever feel sexual attraction for men significantly younger. I don’t understand the appeal of age gaps myself.

All of that being said, not everybody is me. Not everyone has to do things the way I do. If other people want to date older/younger people, there’s no issue. If it is consenting adults, who cares?

Saying ‘hey, maybe that’s not a great idea’ is one thing. It’s completely another to imply that grown women are children who can not consent and to imply that the men who date younger women are creepy or even pedophiles. In what world is dating a grown adult evidence that someone is a pedophile? That’s a ridiculous implication. It’s a ridiculous and harmful implication.

And Ethan Klein, Trisha Paytas, and everyone else jumping on this bandwagon just because they dislike Keemstar, all need to really think about what they’re saying.