Lori Altebaumer's Blog, page 6
February 1, 2022
The Double Edged Sword of Self-Doubt, Part One
I recently listened to a podcast entitled A Writer’s Guide to the End of Self-Doubt. In the interview, the guest says, “writing is like a task designed to confront your own feelings of self-doubt because you sit down and you face a blank page …” He spoke truth. Writers are, after all, creatives. We can imagine a long list of doubt causing possibilities.But self doubt isn’t a malady suffered only by writers and other creatives. Doubt is an inherent part of the human condition. Every one doubts. And these days, we’re practically force fed a steady diet of doubtful delicacies.The amount of contradictory information flowing through the veins of social media, steadily pumped out by competing agendas, has us bleeding doubt by the bucketful.While not trusting the science is one thing, and a healthy dose of skepticism in regards to every piece of news or disseminated information can be … well, healthy, that’s not the doubt I’m talking about here.It is self-doubt that becomes the sword that divides our soul and renders us ineffective, unproductive, or heaven forbid, completely useless.And according to the man on the podcast, self-doubt will never go away. The question is simply how much time are we going to wallow in it.Ouch.This is side one of this double edged sword. And it’s not the good one.I believe this is the side of the sword that King Saul fell on when the Philistines were pursuing him on Mount Gilboa (See 1 Samuel 31). Saul doubted, but who he doubted is the important thing to note here.He doubted God (possibly with good reason since he hadn’t been a very good king or a nice person, but that’s a discussion for another time).Saul correctly assessed his abilities. That self-doubt was wisely placed. He was alone with his armor bearer facing an army of blood thirsty Philistines. He was probably surrounded and trapped on the top of this mountain. On his own, he knew he was toast.He forgot who his God was. The God that parted the Red Sea and brought down the walls of Jericho.Let’s be honest, the one Saul really doubted was God.Saul let his doubts render him completely useless. He wallowed in them until he left no room for God to move on his behalf. Plus, he set a bad example for his armor bearer who, after watching Saul take his own life, fell on his sword, too.God’s Word is clear on this subject. Doubt is not a fruit of the Spirit and is to be avoided by being steadfast and unshakeable in our faith. And the best part, it’s overcome by asking.If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. (James 1:6-8 )We really shouldn’t be surprised that these weak and fleshly bodies attempting to navigate this broken and wicked world struggle with self-doubt. There is no end to the things we wrestle with despite our best efforts. Why should self-doubt be any different than our struggle with forgiveness, resentment, anger, over indulgence, comparison, envy, greed, and so on?In 2 Corinthians 10:5, we are told to take every thought captive to obey Christ. In Song of Songs, Solomon writes that we must “catch the little foxes that ruin the vineyards (See Song of Songs 2:15). He’s referring specifically to the little things that ruin romantic relationships, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true for other areas of our lives as well.We have to accept that self-doubt is a part of the human condition—a part of our condition. It’s not going away, at least not by our own efforts. But we shouldn’t wallow in it.It’s time we saddle up for the fox hunt and drop the sword that seeks to divide us.My challenge this week is for us to recognize our moments of self-doubt as a normal part of human life. Then ask ourselves who it is that we are really doubting.Round up those little foxes and check back for part two of this post on February 15th.Donna Nabors is a woman who refused to wallow in self-doubt no matter what life threw at her. For a chance to win a copy of her book, Shattered Dreams to Treasured Truths: Transforming Life’s Disappointments, leave a comment on this blog. If you’re feeling brave, tell me what self-doubts are keeping you from your living the life to the fullest that Jesus came to bring us. Or share your favorite verse for overcoming your self-doubts.Until next time, keep your boots on the ground, head in the clouds, and heart in HIs hands.The post The Double Edged Sword of Self-Doubt, Part One appeared first on Lori Altebaumer.
January 18, 2022
Reason, Truth, and Emotional Currency
“Unless I am convicted by Scripture and plain reason (I do not accept the authority of popes and councils because they have contradicted each other), my conscience is captive to the Word of God. I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God.” ~Martin Luther
Scholarly debate exists on whether Martin Luther actually uttered the last sentence of “Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God.” But whether he did or didn’t actually say this doesn’t lessen the merit of these words.
Human beings have a fundamental need to believe in something worth standing for. It is our nature.
Our need to defend something compels us into the fray.
Too often, we do so when wisdom would have us guard our words instead.
Oh, that this would be the year we discover what that something worth fighting for is.
The problem isn’t our need to take a stand. It’s that we’ve slipped into a place of confusion about what we should be defending. We don’t, as Martin Luther stated he must, wait to be “convicted by Scripture and plain reason.”
Plain reason has taken a back seat to “feels right” emotion.
We find ourselves fighting passionately for an idea or a cause with our feet planted firmly on shifting sand … which is not a good place to make a stand.
Luther’s statement doesn’t say “unless I am convicted by Scripture and my heart,” probably because he knows the prophet Jeremiah was right when he wrote: “The heart is deceitful above all things” (Jeremiah 17:9).
The only secure, trustworthy place to stand is the solid bedrock of truth. Unfortunately, we live in a time where truth is bought and sold with the emotional currency of the day.
It might be a wise time to consider who profits when our emotions rule our actions.
So what is truth? Is it science? Philosophy? Or is truth merely something that can’t be proven false?
Contrary to one current line of thought, we don’t each get to determine our own truth. What a world of chaos that would be!
But unless we test our beliefs—unless we apply the wisdom of plain reason—concerning what we feel so passionately about, how will we know when we’re standing on truth?
I’d like to suggest that we’ve made the search for truth much harder than it really is. We’ve been deceived into treating it as some mythical, magical entity. A shape shifter that can be altered to fit the emotional needs of the moment.
Truth must be the immutable basis for everything. It is only when we fear it that we seek to change or ignore it.
So how do we know truth?
Scripture and plain reason. Not Scripture and what I feel. Not Scripture and what everyone else feels/says/believes. Not even Scripture and what I wish were true.
The way back to truth is by renewing our desire for God’s Word, and then using it as the lens through which we view the world.
It is essential that we find the truth for ourselves, and stop accepting as fact everything fed to us through the often deliberately distorting lens of emotionally charged social media posts and around the clock news.
Step away from social media and news outlets. Spend time in God’s Word, and then take a walk through your neighborhood seeing the world with the fresh eyes of truth.
Before we decide in which field to take a stand, let’s make sure it’s situated on the solid rock of truth and not the shifting sands of popular emotion.
And then, like Luther, we will say with confidence, “Here I stand. I can do no other.”
The post Reason, Truth, and Emotional Currency appeared first on Lori Altebaumer.
January 4, 2022
The Fullness That Leaves Us Empty
“… that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19 NKJV
We made it through another one. You know … the season when our calendars are full and so are our tummies. We’ve hustled and bustled. We decked the halls and dished the desserts.
Ahhh … the holidays. The season of fullness.
We jammed our calendars to full with decorating, shopping, social gatherings, and innumerable other holiday festivities. We loaded our plates with candy and calories.
We are full to the point of being over-full.
Now as we slip into those stretchy pants on a cold January morning, exhausted and feeling as though something is missing, we are left wondering how another Christmas came and went without the joy of a silent night or the harkening to hear a herald angel sing.
After weeks of being full, we find ourselves feeling completely empty.
What if we went after the Word of God as eagerly as we consumed those mounded plates of sugar cookies? What if we sought after truth as diligently as we searched the internet or store aisles for Christmas gifts? What if we were as passionate about scheduling time with Jesus as we were planning holiday dinner parties?
I know a thing or two about diligence and perseverance. After all, I’m a Texan. There is no such thing as leftovers in the basket of crunchy tortilla chips and bowls of tangy salsa. I’m never too full to finish what I started when it comes to chips and salsa.
But do I treat my time with the Lord with the same enthusiasm? Am I as committed to getting every last delicious morsel he has for me as I am to consuming those unhelpful carbs?
It’s an interesting paradox that the more I allow the fullness of God to fill me, the less desire I have for the earthly things with which I am tempted to fill myself.
I can’t un-eat all those holiday goodies or get a second back of the time spent on activities that added no discernable value to my life. But I can decide to fill up with the fullness of God. I don’t have to wait for another Christmas to squeeze every drop of his goodness from the banquet he sets before me.
And when Christmas rolls around this year, may my most treasured gift be the peace and joy of finding myself “filled with all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:19).
What a sweet thought that is!
Happy New Year!
The post The Fullness That Leaves Us Empty appeared first on Lori Altebaumer.
December 21, 2020
How Close Should We Be for Christmas?
This article originally appeared on Arise Daily in December 2020. I’ve updated here.
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will also be. (Matthew 6:19-21NKJV)
In a year where we’ve been forced into isolation and distancing, I am reminded of a favorite Christmas memory. It was the Christmas our family of four spent living in a travel trailer. We had no room to spare, and I joked that everyone was getting gift cards for Christmas. They would be the only thing we could fit under the twelve-inch tree on the fold out table. I also wasn’t going to be preparing a traditional Christmas feast in that limited kitchen.
But on Christmas morning, as we sat scrunched together opening gifts, our son looked up and said, “This is the best Christmas ever.”
I didn’t think he was referring to the gifts he’d received. As gifts went, this was a meager Christmas. I asked him why he thought so, and his answer has influenced my Christmases ever since.
“I guess it’s just because we are all so close together.”
Close together indeed. We were practically sitting in each other’s laps in that tiny little space.
No fancy tree or decorations. No extravagant gifts or spectacular feast. Just four people who loved each other celebrating the birth of their Savior together.
I love the Christmas season. I love the decorations and lights. I love the music and festive feeling in the stores. I love the abundance if edible treats I know I shouldn’t eat but can’t resist.
But my heart does not belong to any of these things.
They are but a reflection of the love Christ has for us. Take them all away and that love remains. It inhabits the tiniest of living quarters and meagerest of circumstances. It shines in the faces of our loved ones and lives in sacred moments we spend together.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21 NKJV).
With this statement, Jesus warns His disciples to be careful about what they choose to value most. The things of this earth won’t last. These are the things that “moth and rust destroy” or “thieves break in and steal” (see Matthew 6:19).
That Christmas my son’s heart wasn’t on the gifts or the decorations or the food. It was on something far more valuable. What he valued most was knowing he was a part of a family who loved him, a family that chose togetherness over the ostentations of the season.
How much greater must God’s delight be in us when we choose Him over the extravagances of the holidays— when we value time with Him over fretting about holiday plans.
I don’t remember much about that Christmas as far what gifts I received or what we ate for dinner. But I will never forget the love. Moth and rust will never destroy it, and no thief can take it from me.
This year has been one of altered plans and missed events. It has been the fertile soil of confusion and fear where isolation, loneliness, and despair have taken root. The thief of COVID has stolen moments of celebration and replaced them with moments of sorrow. Last year’s contentious political election has had a rusting effect on our hearts, and the moths of hatred and division have swept in to eat holes in our sense of community.
Our earthly treasures have been proven the fragile and temporal things they are.
The holidays may look different this year. Perhaps for that we should be grateful. Maybe this is the year we put aside everything that stands between us and our loving Father. We choose our treasures wisely and we snuggle in close to our Father’s heart and say, “This is the best Christmas ever.”
And when He asks us why, we say, “Because we’re all so close together.”
The post How Close Should We Be for Christmas? appeared first on Lori Altebaumer.
December 14, 2020
What Kind of Believer Are You?
On a festive winter night in December 2004, I had the pleasure of ushering a very nauseous six-year-old boy up the dark theater aisle in the middle of the movie—with my cupped hands full of…vomit. The crazy train ride/roller coaster scene had been his undoing and being the good parent that I am, I tried to keep the contents of his stomach from spewing over those around us by containing it in my hands. Let’s just say my first viewing of ,The Polar Express was not what I had hoped it would be, but it was definitely memorable.
I have developed a love for this movie though. One of my favorite scenes is the one with the main character ,on top of the train with the hobo. The hobo asks the boy what he believes about Santa Claus.
“What exactly is your persuasion on the big man?”
The boy replies, “Well, I… I want to believe. But…”
Then the hobo cuts right to the heart of the matter. “But you don’t wanna be bamboozled. You don’t wanna be led down the primrose path. You don’t wanna be conned or duped, have the wool pulled over your eyes. Hoodwinked. You don’t wanna be taken for a ride, railroaded. Seeing is believing. Am I right?”
That scene always sparks an angst in me heart. Sometimes we want to believe, but…
I am reminded of the story of the father of the demon possessed boy in Mark 9:17-24. This distraught father brought his son to Jesus for healing.
Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”
Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.”
This man wanted to not just believe, but believe with the kind of faith that over rules all doubt.
Do you?
If so, what kind of believer are you?
Some people are head-first-in-the-deep-end believers. They’ve been to the depths of the miry pit, a prodigal in a foreign land existing with the pigs, until God pulled them out and redeemed them from the past. They’ve not only seen but experienced what only God can do when He rescues a lost soul, and so driven by love and thankfulness, they dive into their faith with passion and fearlessness.
Then there are those who have always believed. They probably grew up in the church and felt the hand of God on their lives from the moment of their earliest memory. They’ve walked in a sweet fellowship all the way.
And then there are those who, as the hobo so succinctly puts it, “don’t want to be bamboozled… led down the primrose path.”
They want to believe but… “Seeing is believing. Am I right?”
Thomas, one of Jesus’ twelve disciples, was such a man. I think he often gets a bad rap for his doubts. His doubting was a search for the truth, not a refusal to believe.
One commentary puts it this way, “Doubt is one foot lifted, poised to step forward or backward. There is no motion until the foot comes down.”
For Thomas, doubt was merely his way of asking a question and listening for the truth. If we’re honest, a lot of us are, at one time or another, Thomas’s. Not wanting to be bamboozled, we question and doubt. But we don’t always listen for an answer.
We tuck our doubt away in the hard shell of our heart and hold onto it as if it makes us wise or keeps us safe from some humiliation or tragic character flaw.
Sure we may have avoided being bamboozled, but have we missed out on experiencing the truth?
What if this Christmas we pulled out those doubts, set them on the table before us like a deck of cards, and said, “Here Lord, I’m showing all my cards…my questions, my doubts, my fears, my lack of faith? I believe, Lord. Help my unbelief.”
What would it hurt to take that chance, to, as the commentary explained, lift a foot and be ready to take that step forward or backward?
Caution though. When the foot is lifted we must stand straight. Leaning in one direction or the other won’t do. It presupposes the answer you are expecting. Instead, for just one moment, open your heart and expect God to answer.
God knows our hearts are wounded and broken. Our doubts don’t surprise or scare Him. He was not caught off guard when Thomas said, “Unless I see in His hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe” (John 20:25).
Jesus’ response to Thomas’s doubts was “Peace to you.” Then He asked Thomas to reach out and touch Him, saying, “Do not be unbelieving, but believing” (John 20:27).
He wants us to bring our doubts to Him. His statement of “peace to you” tells us not to fear these doubts, but to bring them honestly to Him. Then He allows us to reach out and touch Him that we might know the truth.
In a year that has been filled with primrose paths, conning, duping, and a bamboozling amount of conflicting information that has at times left us feeling a bit hoodwinked to say the least, one truth has been unchanging. The truth of God’s Word has not changed, nor has it hidden itself from us.
Too may people have spent this year in panic, confusion, and fear. Too many say the events and challenges of this past year have caused them to experience a crisis of faith.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
What kind of believer are you? If you find yourself with doubts, struggling with your faith, don’t be afraid to say, “Lord, help my unbelief.”
Listen as He responds with “peace to you” as He invites you to reach out and touch Him.
Then, like Thomas, be ready to “put your finger into the print of the nails.”
What better time than Christmas to open our hearts for a miracle of faith?
The post What Kind of Believer Are You? appeared first on Lori Altebaumer.
December 8, 2020
Remind Me I Can Do This: How to Navigate the Hard Times
A melancholy spirit crept over me yesterday. It may have been sparked by some of the negative, unloving, and merciless words I read on Facebook (I should’ve known better than to read through the comments on a post about COVID, facemasks, and holiday gathering mandates), but that spark was definitely fanned into flames by thoughts of my friends.
I miss my friends—the ones scattered about the country too far away for a regular visit. Sure, we can talk on the phone or have a video call, but it’s never the same as pulling up a chair at the kitchen table with a cup of hot tea and the anticipation of unhurried fellowship.
Something about the Christmas season magnifies those feelings.
These thoughts were tinder for the fire, but the real fuel that fed the growing sense of sadness was self-pity.
And so the pity party began. Don’t judge. I was fully aware of my selfishness in the moment, but I went there anyway.
Those times together with friends are sweet, filling my life with something my soul longs for. In our friends, we see the image of our Creator, a reflection of Jesus Christ.
Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to our likeness…” (Genesis 1:26 NKJV).
Time spent in the company of friends gives us a glimpse of the fellowship we will enjoy in heaven with Jesus and all the saints.
“…and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ” (1 John 1:3 NKJV).
One of these dear friends called me. We video chatted while she worked on decorating her house for Christmas. We even toured the manager scene in the front yard. It was good for my soul, but it didn’t really erase the longing to be in her presence. Honestly, I think her kitchen table is anointed. The time spent around it with her and her family always feels blessed, like a holy kiss from God.
Now, don’t tell her but I was actually a bit sadder after we ended the call. This was not your average pity party I was throwing myself.
But God finally said enough is enough. If I wasn’t going to leave the party on my own, He’d yank me out by convicting my heart of what real suffering looks like.
As my husband and I were walking into a department store so I could joylessly (the pity party was still going strong) finish my Christmas shopping, I received a text message notification.
“Will you please remind me that I can do this.”
Those words stopped me in my tracks—literally—much to the annoyance of the other shoppers.
The message was from a friend who has been in complete isolation since the first of the stay-at-home orders in March. Her immune system is compromised by the chemotherapy she is going through as she battles malignant melanoma. She has faced delays in treatment due to COVID protocols closing facilities or limiting patients, as well as her own body bringing complications by a malfunctioning thyroid that had to be addressed before any more chemo could be administered.
Those few words—will you please remind me that I can do this—put a prompt end to my pity party.
Today as think of my friends while I go about decorating, I can’t help but stand in humble amazement at all Jesus did for me— for each of us.
Yes, He willingly died a brutal death on the cross in order to bring our salvation. But before He did that, He willingly stepped down from Heaven, trading His royal robes of perfection for the filthy rags of humanity. In dying on the cross He returned to His glorious home, but first He chose to live and walk among this sinful world. And He did it so that one day we might sit at His kitchen table with a cup of hot tea and the anticipation of unhurried fellowship.
He could have thrown Himself the pity party of all pity parties. He never did. Even in the Garden on the night of His betrayal His anguished words were, “nevertheless, not My will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42 NKJV).
On our way home last night, we stopped by my friend’s house to leave a bag of things I know she likes—Dr. Pepper and Doritos—along with a bright red poinsettia on her porch. I never see her when I leave things on her porch. For safety reasons, we don’t go in and she doesn’t come out. But somehow, the fellowship I experience just standing on her porch still feels sacred.
And he who desires to be first among you, let him be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many (Matthew 20:27-28).
It occurs to me that the best cure for a pity party is “not my will but Yours be done.”
If I want to have fellowship with Christ, then I need to be Christlike in all that I do. No pity parties, no dwelling on what I don’t have or can’t do. Just searching for the ways I can walk among the hurting, the lonely, the sick, and the down-hearted doing the same things Jesus did when He walked through this broken world two thousand years ago.
Sometimes I will get to look across the kitchen table at the face of a friend. Sometimes I may only see my friend on a small screen in my hand. And sometimes I will simply stand on a porch staring at darkened windows with a bag of chips and soda, and a potted plant in hand, thanking God that He is always there to remind us all that we can do this.
Therefore, if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:1- 4).
What can each of us do to remind someone that–
we can do this?
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The post Remind Me I Can Do This: How to Navigate the Hard Times appeared first on Lori Altebaumer.
