Joy Slaughter's Blog, page 2

12.4 Dark Night of the Soul

Megan experienced her “dark night of the soul” looking out over the valley, now Nathan hits rock bottom. All of his many layers of pain—from his military experience, to his limb loss, to the suicide call he worked, to Megan leaving him—have become too much for him to handle.

He strongly considers suicide. We can see that he had prepared for the possibility of such a moment because he keeps his Beretta pistol ready.

“Nathan knelt by the bed, finality in, at hand. Just one action, considered with dispassionate separation. Walking to the diving platform, standing over the lane, bracing for the watery cold. It was only cold, merely cold. Disconcerting, though, that the depths remained unseen and unseeable.”

He compares death to jumping into a swimming pool. Water then is shown as the dialectic of life and death. He regained his health and vitality in the pool, but now he returns to the source, trying to see the end. He knows the shock of entry, when one first jumps into cold water, but he is uneasy about what happens after.

Or perhaps, just as the water gave him a new lease on life before, he is looking for another reason to continue, returning for another renewal.

“He stared, lost in the coldness, his eyes unfocused, looking past to the carpet. Just under the edge of the footboard lay her pink ponytail holder. He picked it up. Her favorite, and he must return it. An uncompleted obligation. A sigh of resignation, perhaps relief, and a strange disappointment. He returned the pistol to the case.”

Some of those who choose not to complete suicide do so because of some small obligation they remember. And yet the complicated state of Nathan’s feelings still comes through as he recognizes his disappointment at needing to do this for her.

At this point of the story, I wanted to show what people can do when they realize they are in the same state. Nathan hands his pistol over to Sam–removing the instruments of suicide can be an important part of a safety plan, whether that’s guns, knives, medications, etc. He then reaches out for help and calls Safe Call Now.

Safe Call Now is a mental health support hotline for first responders. Not only is it tailored to public safety and medical personnel, but it provides easy access to deeper levels of support than most hotlines. They help responders find the RIGHT help, experts who are familiar with the unique needs of responders.

Safe Call Now: 206-459-3020

https://www.safecallnowusa.org/Code Green Campaign is another first responder mental health organization that helps spread awareness of the unique needs of responders.Code Green: www.codegreencampaign.org

12.3 You are my Sunshine

Once Megan leaves Nathan to return to Todd, we see once again his struggle with loyalty. This quest of his–to find a loyal woman–was introduced at the beginning of the story in the aftermath of Heather. And now he has found one—but her intense loyalty is for Todd, not him. The very thing he wanted is what is hurting him the most.

Sam reminds him that if he truly loves her, he must trust her.

I wanted to put the lyrics for “You are My Sunshine” into the book, but that’s a no-go with copyright law. We are all familiar with the chorus, but here are the three verses. I see the love triangle here.

Verse OneThe other night, dear

As I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you, in my arms

When I awoke, dear

I was mistaken

So I hung my head and I cried

(Megan)

Megan loves a dream and must grieve her loss when she awakens.

Verse TwoI'll always love you and make you happy

If you will only say the same

But if you leave me to love another

You'll regret it all some day

(Todd)

Todd believes in transactional love and resorts to threats.

Verse ThreeYou told me once, dear, you really loved me

And no one else could come between

But now you've left me and love another

You have shattered all my dreams

(Nathan)Nathan rested in Megan’s love. He found reassurance for his deepest fears. But he was torn apart when she left him.

And that’s why Todd calls Megan, “Sunshine.”

12.2 Domestic Violence Beliefs of EMS Workers

Because of the reach of Crossing the Line, I was asked to write an article for EMS1 on a new study pertaining to EMS workers and their beliefs concerning domestic violence (note the pen name).

Here are a few the opinions of EMS workers AFTER having received training on responding to domestic violence: “Domestic violence is a NORMAL reaction to day-to-day stress and frustration.”

33 percent of respondents were neutral or agreed

“If a victim stays in a relationship, they are responsible for the abuse.”

35 percent of respondents were neutral or agreed

“Battered women secretly WANT to be abused.”

21 percent of respondents were neutral or agreed

Shocking. Truly shocking.

While there is a rightful focus on domestic violence in police relationships, we cannot overlook the terrible beliefs held by many EMS workers. Public safety as a whole must grapple with domestic violence, make changes, and support survivors.

Research is being completed on this at Florida State University and elsewhere, but ultimately, we must act and put into place policies that address these issues and work to enact change.

Click here to read the article