Lynn Katzenmeyer's Blog, page 2
June 15, 2020
Summer Fun Reader Scavenger Hunt
Summer contest season is upon us!
I am so excited that Tooth and Claw is a part of the Night Owl Romance Summer Fun Scavenger hunt this year.
From June 23rd-July 7th, Night Owl Romance is hosing a contest for a new kindle, redbubble gift cards, and amazon giftcards!
Learn more here:
https://www.nightowlreviews.com/v5/Blog/Articles/Summer-Fun-2020-by-Night-Owl-Romance
To enter for your chance to win click here: nightowlromance.com/win
June 8, 2020
Music of Kootenai
I love music.
I love listening to it.
I pretend that I can make it.
I enjoy singing in the shower and terrifying the neighbors with my failed attempt to hit the high-notes.
Music and books to hand in hand for me. As a kid, I’d sit in far away corners with a pile of books and my discman, hiding away in my own world while my family spent the day competing and coaching at swim meets. The music blocked out the sounds of chaos around me and transported me to the Magic Treehouse, Hogwarts, and Narnia.
Music continues to transport me. But now it’s to my own worlds. I have Spotify playlists for everything, and I want to share them.
Most of the early writing of Tooth and Claw came in snippets of scenes with no real characters or plot. The life and times of Aster Lee Fields were strewn about in my Stories>Paranormal>Urban Fantasy>Werewolves>Shifters folders in my gdrive.
Side note: I might have to do a blog post about the ridiculousness that is my google drive subfolder system.
I had a snippet of a scene of a wolf staring at another wolf before biting its leg off. I had another snippet of an exile, a mating ceremony, and a kidnapping. None of them really came together until Barns Courtney’s Glitter and Gold came over on a different playlist’s radio.
I was obsessed.
I listened to the song three or four times before going to the album and listening to it three or four times. Then I had a meeting, because hello day job. While pretending to be interested in a meeting that could have been an email, the driving bass beat and soulful songs blended in my head, and Tooth and Claw was born.
Rapidly I started a new playlist based on songs that fit the bluesy soulful, driving rhythm beat.
After I published Tooth and Claw in September, I continued to listen to the Kootenai playlist radio at work, because hello, total bangers but the songs were mellow enough I didn’t end up bursting into song (which had been a problem in the past. Sorry again to my former coworkers).
Jennifer’s arc in Ghost Eyes can be 100% linked to the emotional connection I felt listening to Rhonda Vincent’s cover of Jolene by Dolly Parton. It was such a key part to how I viewed Jen’s emotional arc, I even kept in the scene where she listens to the song.
In a previous post I linked the Ghost Eyes Roadtrip playlist, which I listened to when writing most of Jen’s scenes in Ghost Eyes.
Now to the song that inspired me to walk down memory lane of the Kootenai playlist.
Back in October 2019, I was tap tapping away at Ghost Eyes and I needed to actually write Jackson’s mate. I had every intention of making her a side character at best.
Then I heard Brandi Carlile’s Raise Hell. The song starts out fast-paced and (I’ll be honest I didn’t hear the lyrics the first verse the first time I listened to it.) Then the song took a sudden down strum. Better men have hit their knees. A back beat. And bigger men have died.
I started the song over right then. And again, I missed 99% of the first lyrics; I got more this time.
Photo Credit: Aaron Burden @aaronburden
You have a mind to keep me quietAnd although you can try,Better men have hit their kneesAnd bigger men have died
Again and again I repeated the song, hearing a little more of the lyrics each time.
My mind pieced together a montage of a fighter in constant battles. Images of her standing in front of a sink looking at herself in the mirror fought with cuts of the battle. Flashes of her staring down her opponent. Bigger, better men, men who want to keep her quiet. Flashes back to the sink, each time there are more scars, but her eyes hold the determination.
I needed to discover this woman. It’s a burst of creative inspiration I’d never had before and haven’t had since. I wrote most of Fallen Lorde while finishing Ghost Eyes. From Raise Hell came my personal favorite book in the Kootenai Pack series so far.
There are so many other songs on the Kootenai playlist that I adore. But the ones mentioned here were the sparks for me. So thank you Barns Courtney, Rhonda Vincent (and Dolly Parton), but a big special thank you to Brandi Carlile. I couldn’t have done it without y’alls kick ass music.
Photo credit Aaron Burden @aaronburden
June 1, 2020
Why I read Romance
“It’s silly.”
“Why don’t you read a story with a plot?”
“Why would you read something that you know how it ends?”
“Read something exciting for once.”
“There’s no literary value.”
If you’re a romance reader, like me, you’ve probably heard something along those lines at one point or another. Even if not directed at you, directed at people who like the books you like.
Confession time:
I’ve been reading romance novels since a young age.
I denied that I enjoyed reading romance novels well into my twenties.
Now I write them for a living.
Pretending I didn’t enjoy reading or writing romance novels in highschool is pretty rich, considering the binders full of thousands of handwritten pages of my highschool book that my husband has affectionately dubbed, “Teenage Virgin Romance Novel.”
My Teenage Virgin Romance Novel, once hidden in shame, now has a shelf of pride in my office. And I am an unabashed romance reader and writer.
As a teen, I read the Twilight Saga “for the world-building and creative take on vampire lore.” The Southern Vampire Novels? Oh, young Lynn devoured those books “for the mystery.” And don’t even get me started on my Anita Blake books justifications. “I’m not reading for the love-scenes. It makes logical sense in the magic system.” Uh huh, sure young Lynn, I’m sure that’s why you’ve read them all many times.
When I was contemplating doing this as a career, those little voices in my head started cropping up again. Where’s the value in romance? Or worse, It’s just porn for women. I pretended that the stories I was writing weren’t about the ultimate connection of people in love. Or worse, I’d tell people I was just writing silly little romance novels. Even though I didn’t think they were silly at all.
Back to the reason for this blog today. Stories have value. Romance has value.
When I first published Tooth and Claw, it wasn’t as an aspiring writer. It was a selfish desire to have more rejected fated mate stories on my kindle. I’d devoured every book I could find that hit that niche and needed more. I figured there had to be at least a few other readers that wanted more too. So even though I didn’t think my story was all that great, I bought a cover, did the formatting, and threw it into the ether.
And it exploded. In a few short months, I had two more books published in that series, over a hundred reviews on amazon (including a review written in German). My silly werewolf melodrama connected to people the same way the books I’d been reading since the dawn of time had connected to me. That’s really what romance is all about to me.
Connection. Empathy. Catharsis.
A good romance novel gives the reader all three, no matter the temperature of the steam.
I dive into the sweet romance novels whose climax ends with the main characters holding hands with the same fervor as I read novels that climaxes early and often. I devour heart wrenching redemption stories that leave me in tears and books that make me laugh until I cry. Men, women, aliens, amorphous blobs, I don’t care, I’ll read them all as long as it hits me in those three places.
Connection- I want the main characters to connect to each other. To their environment. But most importantly, I want the character to connect with me. I want to see bits and pieces of myself or my friends and family in them.
Empathy- A good romance novel makes me feel. I want the butterflies in my stomach during the will-they-won’t they. I want the heartbreak if it fails; I want the warmth in my heart, and soul when love prevails. A good romance makes me feel more than just the romantic feelings. It makes me hurt with biting comments; it makes me laugh with jokes; it makes me giddy when the team scores the winning point, or disappointed when they fail.
Catharsis- Romance provides this more than any other genre. When I put a romance novel down, I feel lighter. Emotions I didn’t know I was repressing have lifted from my shoulders. This is easier to feel in the books that are written to make me cry, but even the sweetest romance does this. I cherish the books that give me catharsis. Books are a safe place to process the emotions that are too scary in the real world.
I hope my readers feel a connection to Aster, Jen, Willow, Iris, Souli, and all the characters in their worlds. If my books can provide even a fraction of the catharsis, I’ve so greedily received from other authors, I’ve done my job.
Romance as a genre is so much more than silly stories about love. It’s not just porn. It might not be what critics consider having literary value, but the value it provides is personal and sacred.
(Alright, time for another confession, I’m totally down to read books that are just sexy times. I’m just not great at writing them… yet So…. maybe in the future… in a pen name my dad doesn’t know about)
May 25, 2020
Mark of the Void Deleted Scene
Counting the days until MOTV release! Here is another deleted scene
I didn’t know what to bring to kill a few hours at the PAW facility. I didn’t have any books and doubted Catherine would approve of me bringing casework around the patients. I decided to take the night off, enjoy the evening as the magical critters did.
Tips was in the multi-purpose room painting as usual when I arrived. I snuck up behind him to get a good look at the painting first, hoping for another Hobbit president. It was another gladiator princess Iris.
I sighed, “I’m not dying my hair, Tips. Anyway, how’ve you been?”
He flinched and looked up at me, “Oh now you ask,” he apparently affronted by my attempt at casual conversation, “I’ll have you know that I’ve been making excellent progress in my rehabilitation, I only have to go to group therapy four days a week instead of seven now.”
He motioned to the painting with dramatic flair and I cringed, the movement exposed more of the painting and it was worse than the previous one, “Aw, come on Cornea, look how hot this makes you. ”
“My boobs aren’t that big either,” I said pointing at her armor, “And really? Those boots are horribly impractical, how did she climb that tree with nine-inch heels? I’d rather climb barefoot than risk twisting an ankle like that.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, “Everyone’s a critic.”
“You’re just lucky Agent Beast can’t see what you’re really painting,” I said, giving him a playful nudge, “And if Adrian saw that, I don’t know if you’d have a painting hand anymore.”
“I’m ambidextrous,” he said wiggling his fingers, and eyebrows suggestively, “And I think if he saw my true art, he’d need a cold shower.”
“I highly doubt that,” I muttered, dropping onto the couch in the multi-purpose room, “So what do you guys do for fun around here?” Tips turned back to look at me with a raised eyebrow, “Fun?”
“Yeah, fun,” I said, “It can’t be all group therapies and talking sticks can it?”
“Well, no, but I wouldn’t say we ever have fun,” Tips crossed his arms and pouted his lips.
“TV? Movies? Books?” I asked, “Board games?”
Tips scoffed, “Come on Cornea, board games?”
“I seem to remember someone got very into Catan and was banned from the shelter’s game closet,” I said, tapping my chin pretending to try and recall who on Earth that could have possibly been.
“There is no way the Colonel had that long of a road,” Tips grumbled under his breath before regaining his chipper attitude, “No, we don’t play board games. Come, let me show you.”
He wrapped his arm through mine in a gesture we’d done a thousand times but felt weird now. Like he shouldn’t be touching me this way anymore. But that was silly. Tips was my friend, not the only thing that changed was our location.
He led me away from his easel and to the other side of the multipurpose room. All the shifters were out on their run so the fey and variant humans dominated the space.
“Here’s the arts and crafts section,” Tips said pointing to a folding table covered in glitter and glue. A human-looking woman stared at a piece of paper in complete concentration. A single fleck of glitter rose from one of the jars and traveled across the air until it reached her paper before dropping into place. Her face relaxed and she waved at me. I waved back.
“That’s Polly, she’s a telekinetic working on finesse,” Tips said, “I was the one suggesting glitter motion. Hi Polly!”
Polly’s wave turned into a middle finger but her grin remained in place.
“She doesn’t take artistic critique well,” he whispered, steering me toward another table where Earl sat opposite Dug, a checkerboard between them.
“You said no board games,” I remarked.
“Trust me, that ain’t no game of checkers you’re familiar with,” Tips said. We watched for a moment as Earl took his turn. He put his finger on one of the chips and Dug put his finger on it too. The Centaur and Stonfolk engaged in a mini-game of tug of war over the piece until Earl ultimately was able to slide his piece, “King me.”
Dug’s lip twitched but he added a chip on top of Earl’s, “No fair, you have better leverage from up there.” “All is fair in Checkers and War. Now take your turn.”
A peal of squeals came from a room near us, “What’s going on in there?”
Tips looked at his naked wrist, “It’s about time for Trees Company.”
“Trees?”
Tips nodded, “Yeah, it’s about a dryad who gets root rot and tries to make money for treatment by becoming a pollen dealer. It’s a pretty popular show with the fey.” “Oh, can we watch?”
“Come on Cornea, you’ve never been the type to sit at home and watch the boob-tube,” he said, “I bet your little sleuth brain is itching for a mystery.”
“I have enough mysteries at work,” I told him, “I don’t need more in my off time.” “Oh come on now, that’s not the Cornea I know and love,” he said, patting my arm and leading me away from the television room, “Are you seriously telling me you don’t want to know about all the stuff going missing from our rooms?”
“Is the Brownie out of containment?” I asked, remembering the kleptomaniac household fey with the impossible to pronounce name.
“Cornea, I thought we went over this,” Tips scolded.
“No, the actual Brownie. Boobeark or something like that,” I said hurriedly.
“Bwbach?” Tips asked.
I nodded and his shoulders sagged, “Fine I guess that makes sense. Well, there goes my whole plan for the evening.”
I glanced back at the TV room. An evening to shut off my mind and not think about my life and the bond and the cases sounded so nice right now. Even Nancy Drew took a night off now and again.
Tips sighed, “You’re not interested in having fun with me tonight, are you?”
I patted him on the arm, “Every night with you is fun, Tips. It just doesn’t always have to be an event. Come on, I went my whole life without knowing there was fey reality tv.”
“You’re not missing much,” he grumbled.
At ten, a bell chimed and most of the lights dimmed.
“What’s that?” I asked.”
“Lights out,” he explained, “Gotta head to bed now. You have a good one Cornea, don’t let the beast get you down, ok?”
“We’re doing better,” I told him, “You don’t need to worry about me, bud. Just focus on getting out of here, right?”
His lips twitched and he left the room followed by the rest of the patients until I was alone with the fey streaming service.
“All clear?” a high pitched voice asked from the door. I turned to see Patty and Meredith bounding into the TV room with a giant bowl of popcorn.
“Oh sweet,” Meredith took the remote from the table, “Just in time for Wings.”
“Oh, I know that one, Gran used to watch the reruns all the time,” I said.
Meredith and Patty shared a look before Patty grinned at me, “I don’t think she did. I’ll give you the quick rundown.”
So Wings was not the beloved 80s sitcom about an airport. It was a dating show for Angels where one contestant was actually a devil in disguise. If the devil made it to the finale, it would get its wings back, having shown the pantheon that it was worthy of grace once again.
I could just imagine the old ladies in Gran’s knitting circle rolling over in their graves imagining a devil returning to heaven.
“Oh don’t worry, these aren’t the Angels you’re probably imagining,” Meredith added.
The show started and rather than long hair, white wings, and lyres, the angels appeared human. Like if the Real World was set in Cloud City for a season.
“So which one is the devil?” I asked.
“We don’t find out until the end,” Meredith said, leaning closer.
“It’s half the fun of the show,” Patty added, “I think it was Felicia, but she was eliminated last week.”
“I say it’s Jedediah,” Meredith said, pointing at a surfer-type man, leaning against eh cloud wall.
“Why doesn’t he fall through the cloud?” I asked, “Clouds are just water, right?”
Meredith and Patty snorted with laughter, “This is on a sound stage in Saskatchewan. Angels are really tight-lipped on what their god’s afterlife is like so they switch up the set each year.”
May 18, 2020
Tooth and Claw deleted Scene Evan's POV
“Wee! Wee! WEEEEE!!!!”
The tiny human wouldn’t shut up.
“Lee, the-”
“I got it!” the annoying wolf slid her order pad into her apron and rushed over to the table with the humans. The three children sat in high chairs covered in crayons and coloring pages. The whole table was a disaster area. Thankfully the pub was almost as slow as Lee’s service today.
“What’s wrong sweetie?” Lee cooed. Cooed. What was it about the small humans that turned all the females into birds?
Earl nudged me, “You should offer to help her.”
“No.” I was not going to help the little wolf. She was the one that needed the babysitting money. Not me. She was the one who wanted to repay the professor for the weird claw thing.
“A little honey...”
“I’m not trying to attract flies, Earl. Don’t you have burgers to flip or something?”
“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the cave this morning.”
Would the teasing never end? I growled at him. Earl may be my last resort but he didn’t have to be so rude about it.
“We were supposed to run tonight. She decided babysitting the screaming cub was more important than her wolf.”
Earl laughed, “You can run without her.”
I growled again. And Earl laughed harder.
“Just admit you like running with Lee.”
I had no response to that. I didn’t like Lee. She was annoying and weak. I didn’t like her. I hated her. I especially hated the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed, and how sometimes she snorted. Never with me, but when Earl made her laugh really hard. I hated how she smelled when she hugged me after I installed bristles in the kitchen sink so she could wash her hand without asking for help.
That was awful. How her hair smelled vaguely of pine and-no stop it. Lee was a wolf. She was an annoying wolf. Even if she was fearless.
“If you admit you like her, I’ll watch the Carlson kids until you get back from your run,” Earl said in a sing song voice, “Three words, Evan. Three small words.”
“Fine. I like her, okay.”
Earl patted me on the back, “Go get the bag ready, I’ll talk to Lee.”
May 11, 2020
What I do in Quarantine (besides write)
There’s something terrifying about the world right now. I don’t need to tell you about that. I am fortunate enough to work from home full time, so rather than beginning my full-time authorial career walking to the library, or coffee shops.
I have my office.
And my living room.
And my kitchen.
And on the rare occasions the weather is cooperating, my deck. (But there’s a duck that’s been harassing me so even when the weather’s nice I get a half hour max outdoor office time.)
It’s very glamorous, I know.
The point of this digression is that I have a bit more time on my hands and a bit less brain power to do something creative with it. So I’m going to tell you about my media consumption highlights since February. The great, the good, and the still holds up.
I’m by no means a critic or an arbiter of taste. Here are the shows, books, movies, and podcasts that have been keeping me sane when my essential worker husband leaves me alone all day.
Movies- New to me:
Onward- A 2020 Pixar movie available on Disney Plus. I’m 99.9% sure they made this movie for me. It has Chris Pratt playing an RPG loving nerdy older brother to Tom Holland’s more skittish wants to be cool younger brother. It is amazing and if you like DND or heartfelt movies, watch it. (And tell me about it because I’m dying to talk to people about it.)
Willow- A 1988 Ron Howard movie available on Disney Plus that left me saying “How have I never seen this before” every five minutes. It’s amazing. Starring young Warwick Davis as Willow, it is a fantasy film of adventure, friendship and special effects that held up surprisingly well. Plus Val Kilmer hot off of Top Gun.
This is the point where I should admit I don’t watch a lot of movies. Honorable mentions include the animated Beauty and the Beast and Hunchback of Notre Dame. Both held up really well to a re-watch probably over a decade since the last time I’ve seen either. Although, if there is a “no Jason Alexander gargoyle cut” floating around, let me know. It would increase my husband’s enjoyment of Hunchback exponentially.
TV- New to me:
Beforeigners- If you follow me on twitter, you know I’m obsessed with this HBO show. It is a Norwegian cop drama that takes place in modern Oslo with a major twist. People from the past are showing up in the present day. After the opening, there is a time jump and we follow one of the past people as she starts a career as a cop.
Trust me, this show is amazing. 100% if you watch it, please email me, Facebook me, tweet me, dm me on Instagram, smoke signals, anything. I love this show and do not have enough people to talk to about it.
Fargo- A bit late to the hype on Fargo, but I’m halfway through season two and I am obsessed. We’re watching on Hulu but I think it aired on FX. Each season has a different cast and case than the previous and so far, I’m loving it. Fargo season 1 was a blast and I am eagerly waiting my husband’s return from work so we can finish season two.
I am very familiar with Duluth so I was disappointed in the utter lack of hill...and lake in the Duluth scenes, but they have and everything else is amazing, so I let my nitpick slide.
What We Do In Shadows: This one is on Hulu (for me I think it’s also airing on FX) and is AMAZING. If you liked the 2014 movie, you will still like the show. Season 2 is airing, and every episode has me laughing out loud. My husband is constantly quoting Lazlo lines to me, but I know deep down, I’m more of a Colin Robinson type (though I kinda wish I was Nadya).
TV- re-watches that hold up (or that I’ve re-watched and not cared if they held up)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer- (Hulu) except for a few episodes and some cringey CGI in the early seasons, Buffy has held up for me. Currently cued for me is “The Body” so if you’ve seen the series, you know what I’m in for this afternoon.
Top Chef (hulu; Amazon prime) I will make a confession here, I’m obsessed with profession-based reality competition shows. Top Chef is my favorite. I have it on in the background a lot when I cook, clean, cry in a corner after spending too much time on twitter and mourning the state in the world. Something about a group of people competing to prove who is the top of their chosen field is great to me.
(If, for some reason, a person reading this is a reality TV show producer and is interested in making a show about corrugated box designers... let me know... for reasons).
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (Hulu) I’m not sure I need to explain myself here. The show is funny. The characters are amazing, and I love them.
Podcasts:
Wine and Crime: Three friends drink wine, chat True Crime, and unleash their worst Minnesotan accents. These girls never fail to make me laugh.
I listened to ep. 169: Stripper Crimes when it came out and I’m still laughing about Lucy twerking to Come on Eileen... on a pool table.... At three in the afternoon.
Omnibus: Ken Jennings and John Roderick have over 250 episodes out about the most random things. Honestly, I don’t even listen for the episode titles anymore, these guys go on the most interesting and odd tangents.
Books:
Disclaimer here: My reading list in the current environment is purely for comfort reading. My rereads are things I’ve read a million times. And my newly-reads are things that I was confident wouldn’t hurt my soul. As a writer who frequently does soul crushing stuff, I’m well aware of the apparent hypocrisy and I accept your judgement.
Old favorites:
In the past week I have re-read all 21of Ice Planet Barbarians and the first 3 of the Icehome series by Ruby Dixon. Yes, these books are about blue alien barbarians and their human mates. No, I don’t particularly care how ridiculous that sounds. These books are like coming home to me in the weirdest way possible and I will continue to insta-buy every one that comes out until Ruby Dixon retires.
I fill my audible cue with The Utterly Uninteresting and Uninteresting Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant by Drew Hayes. Drew Hayes is another author where I don’t even read the descriptions of his books anymore, I just buy them. Normally the Super Powereds series is my go-to, but I needed to laugh so I turned to Fred. The Vampire Accountant series by Drew Hayes is episodic so I can pick a chapter, listen to it as I do a chore, then get my giggle on as I pretend to clean my house.
New Books (since quarantine...I’ve definitely re-read these too. I’m a re-reader. I also read very fast).
As a speed reader and a Kindle Unlimited devotee, the fact I purchased the paperback of this book after reading the kindle edition, should be enough to tell you how much I love Harpyness is Only Skin Deep by D.H. Willison. It’s a different sort of portal fantasy that follows a character from Earth and one from Arvia as they both try to make their way in the world. I love Rinloh the harpy. She’s so freaking adorable and I just need more of her in my life. (Plus the paperback edition has a mantis on the spine).
The Faerene Apocalypse series by Jenny Schwartz. For someone as afraid of the plague as I am, I was really surprised I dove into these books as hard and fast as I did. There is something reassuring about the way Amy pragmatically handles everything the apocalypse throws at her. I devoured all five books in one sitting and then immediately reread the first one.
Not that anyone asked, but my other quarantine activities are petting Stinky. That’s it. This cat is taking up so much of my free time I can’t do the cool stuff like baking bread or picking up arts and crafts. He is literally sitting on my lap as I write this blog post. Not that I’m complaining. He’s adorable.
I hope everyone stays safe, washes their hands, and consumes media that makes them happy.
Please tell me about your favorite quarantine media. I’m accepting any and all suggestions.
Minutes before disaster
The duck landed on the table about five minutes after this picture was taken. It was an angry duck. I’m afraid of my backyard now.
Stinky enjoyed West World season three as much as I did.
THE MANTIS. (oh and Harpyness is Only Skin Deep)
May 4, 2020
Ghost Eyes- Extended Epilogue
Hello world!
I’ve been having so much fun posting deleted scenes, I couldn’t resist sharing this extended epilogue of Jen and Andrew’s road trip.
I’ve also been given a link to a spotify playlist with all the top-Ghost Eye jams if you want to take part in the road trip fun.
I’m a big road tripper, comment below your favorite road trip location! My personal current favorites in no particular order are: Wall Drug, Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota, House on the Rock, and Riverside IA.
Ghost Eyes Extended Epilogue:
Take me home tonight
I don't wanna let you go 'til you see the light
Andrew blasted Eddie Money as we cruised down the road. After three years, I still hadn’t tired of his slightly off-key singing.
“Where to next?” I asked. When I dozed off this morning, we’d been headed East, but now we were going North. He must have gotten a call from the Alpha Council while I was dreaming of chasing bunnies in the woods.
“Got a call from Beta Marquis, there’s been a rogue sniffing around their borders,” he said, “She wants me to check in with the Rogue Shifter Coalition to make sure he gets there alright.”
“Does that mean what I think it means?”
His answer didn’t matter, I was already in the playlist searching for just the right song.
“Please don’t start playin-”
Too late, Weird Al was already singing~
Well, I had two weeks of vacation time coming
After working all year down at Big Roy's Heating And Plumbing
“I’m not getting you chocolate soda this time,” Andrew grumbled.
He would, he’d also stop at every convenience store until we found potato skins and something that could be considered "pickled weiners.”
“BIGGEST BALL OF TWINNEE IN MINNEEESSOOOTTTAAAAA” I belted out once the chorus hit.
Andrew rolled his eyes, but he joined in the song.
“What else is on that list of yours?” he asked, “We stop at the twine ball every time we go to Easterville, can we try something new?”
“Ummm, well because we’re coming from the South…” I flipped to the Iowa page in my to visit notebook and mentally checked off all the places we’d already hit. “Squirrel Cage Jail, check, Matchstick museum, check, Clocks, check.”
”I haven’t shown you Riverside yet, have I?”
He hadn’t, and from the grin on his face, this was going to be fun.
“What’s in Riverside?”
“The future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk.”
“Who?”
“Captain Kirk. Only the greatest Enterprise Captain in all of Star Trek.”
“Star Trek?”
“Come on now, Jen, everyone knows Star Trek.”
“First of all, Mister big and sexy. I was feral for a decade, and I’ve been with you living in a van ever since. When would I have read Star Trek?”
“Seen, it’s a show, and movies, and well I guess there are probably books but-” his voice drifted off and he looked over. He pulled off his shades giving me the full force of his beautiful bi-colored eyes, mirrors to mine, “I thought you liked traveling in the van.”
“I do. I love it. I love traveling and waking up somewhere new every time.”
“But?”
“No buts, I’m happy. I get to be with you.”
“Would you be opposed to… to someday maybe…getting some territory of our own?” he asked, “With a house and kitchen and a forest to run around in?”
“And you’d be there?”
He laughed, “Jen, of course I’d be there.”
"Would we still get to travel?”
“As if I could keep you from your roadside attractions.”
“Hey now, you loved the World’s Tallest Thermometer,” I whined.
He reached over the center console and wrapped his big hand over mine, pulling it away from my notebook, “I love you, my beautiful Ghost Eyed mate.”
“I love you too, my big Beast of Barrow.”
April 27, 2020
Fallen Lorde- Extended Epilogue (Spoilers for Kootenai Pack)
I’ve been working on Mark of the Void and Ginger’s book so much, I’ve been missing Kootenai. It’ll be a while before we get out of Easterville so here’s a bit of a taste of what happens after Fallen Lorde.This takes place almost Eighteen years after the Fall of the House of Lorde (fifeen years after the end of Fallen Lorde)
“Kendrick! Kendrick! Come quick!” I shouted. No, I screamed. The bowl of popcorn dropped from my hands, popped kernels spread all over the wooden floor.
I survived over a hundred rank challenges, birthing twins, and every challenge my job as Kootenai Pack Beta threw at me.
But this was too much.
t was too soon.
They were too young for this.
“Willow!” Kendrick came bounding out of his office to the game room and he skidded to a halt, “Is that? Are those?”
I nodded, unable to rip my eyes from where my teenagers had been arguing only a minute ago. It was just a normal family movie night. The kids were yelling once again about movie choice while I made popcorn and Kendrick finished up his Alpha duties for the day.
I was only in the kitchen for a minute, but when I returned, my twin teen terrors were gone. Replaced by two wolves. The tiny black one chewed on my brand new sofa, while the fluffy white one turned its attention to the popcorn all over the floor.
I guess if there had to be a perk to my children getting their wolves early, I’d take popcorn clean up.
“But it’s too soon,” Kendrick said, easing his way behind me, “They’re barely fourteen.”
“You shifted at thirteen,” I reminded him.
He winced, “I was also in the midst of major trauma,” over the years, Kendrick made amazing strides in therapy. He was very open with Danny and Ava about his relationship with his parents and his history with the leaders of the Rogue Shifter Coalition. Overtime, the whole pack knew about the treatment we’d all faced at the hands of the deceased Alpha Biel.
I rubbed Kendrick’s arm, “I guess having to watch the remake of the Mighty Ducks for the tenth time this year would have been pretty traumatic for Ava.”
“You’re hilarious.”
Kendrick looked back at our pups- whelps. My babies were whelps now. I was officially old. Soon they’d be leaving for out of pack education and finding their mates and having pups of their own.
“Who do you think their mates are?” I asked, “Should we let the twin terrors loose on the town and find out?”
Kendrick growled, “They’re too young.”
I threw my head back and laughed, “I’m not saying I want to be a grandma or anything, I’m just curious if it’s anyone in the pack.”
“I just don’t want them to feel pressured one way or the other.”
I agreed. We’d grown as partners raising our pups and growing our pack. But the rejections of our Moon Blessed Mates still lingered. Our howls turned to whimpers over the years eventually disappearing altogether, but the pain never truly went away.
I loved Kendrick with all my heart, my wolf did too. We found each other and created the life we always wanted. In doing so, we shaped the pack in our image. Moon Blessings stopped being an excuse for unhealthy behavior. My pups would never know the pain I felt with Jackson. They’d never suffer the absence Kendrick felt when Aster left.
The two adolescent wolves stopped chewing on their respective distractions and started chewing on each other.
“At least they’ll always have a sparring partner.”
“Ava’s going to kick Danny’s ass,” Kendrick said, watching the two wolves roll around on the rug.
“How do you know which one’s which?” I asked. The pups hadn’t stopped moving long enough to figure out who was who.
Kendrick shrugged, “Your daughter has hunter written all over her. Danny’s a lover, not a fighter. Besides, if he’s too mean to Ava, little Millie Nelson would never forgive him.”
At the sound of Millie Nelson’s name, the white wolf lifted his head. After a second, he bolted from the game room. The black wolf which must be Ava, took off in the other direction. No doubt to cut her brother off before he ran to her best friend’s house.
“You’re on Danny duty,” I yelled, following my daughter down the hallway.
“Stay safe, I love you!” Kendrick yelled on his way out of the room.
“I love you too!”
April 20, 2020
Mark of the Void Deleted Scene!
The laundry room was about what I expected with the unexpected addition of a giant centaur folding sheets. Earl looked up at me for a moment before returning to his giant laundry bucket of clean linens. He set a now neatly folded sheet on a stack of other sheets and pulled another from the bin.
“Hey, Earl, mind if I do a load?” I said, hoping like hell the centaur I’d met my first day was the only centaur at PAW. From the brief look of surprise followed by a small smile, I presumed I was correct.
“Whites in the hamper on the right, darks in the left,” he explained, “I don’t do delicates so you’re out of luck there.”
“Oh, ok.”
I wasn’t sure I was comfortable with my new-to-me clothing being put into a communal laundry pile. How would I know I got everything back? These clothes were replacements for the ones Adrian destroyed, but Adrian replacthemian. I didn’t pick them. I hardly knew the clothes, but they were mine.
“Would it be ok if I did my own?” I asked.
Earl looked up from his third sheet of our conversation, “Do you know how to run these machines?” “Are the machines magic?” I asked.
“Why would we waste magic to wash clothes when humans have designed machines that can do the work?” he asked. His front hoof stomped on the ground, and his tail flicked out.
“Fair enough.” I hefted my bag of laundry to an open washer Earl pointed out. I dumped the whole bag into the industrial-sized machine, poured an approximately correct amount of detergent and started the machine on the fastest setting.
“You risk color bleeding,” Earl said, “Don’t they teach you anything in human schools?”
I laughed, “Not really. What about you, what do they teach in centaur schools?”
Earl’s face darkened, “There are no centaur schools.”
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know,” I said. I stood across the counter from Earl and pulled out a clean sheet from his bin and started folding. My folds weren’t as neat as Earl’s were, but he didn’t seem to mind.
“You’re the void,” it wasn’t a question, but I nodded anyway. “With the shifter mate?” Earl continued.
“And you’re a centaur,” I replied, avoiding the mate question, “And this is a fitted sheet.”
“A fitted sheet you’re folding wrong,” he said, ripping the fabric from my hands with a bit more force than necessary. He effortlessly spun the fabric around tucking and folding the corners until it was a perfectly square folded sheet.
“Magic,” I muttered, it had to be. Anytime I tried to fold a fitted sheet, I ended up with a ball of cloth and elastic.
Earl snorted, “I’m not magic, you’re just inept.”
“Well, I have-” I glanced over at the washing machine which was still hissing with water filling the drum, “Quite a while until my laundry’s done, why don’t you teach me your ways, Oh Earl, the Centaur King of Fitted Sheets.”
He raised his eyebrow at me, “Who told you I was the Centaur King?”
Well, shit apparently sarcasm wasn’t something centaurs recognized, “No one had to tell me, it’s obvious,” I lied, “Even a void can see the kingly way you carry yourself.” Earl’s shoulders straightened and his lips twitched like he was trying to hide a smile, “Right, well, let it never be heard that I turn down a subject coming for guidance.”
Maybe I went too far with the flattery. But it worked, for the remainder of the wash cycle and the entire dry cycle, Centaur King Earl taught me how to fold a fitted sheet.
“If Large Marge could see me now, she’d make me do the Motel California Street’s laundry forever,” I chuckled to myself as I almost-perfectly folded another sheet.
“Large... Marge?” Earl mused to himself rolling the name over his tongue, “Tell me about this creature.”
“She’s not really a creature... that I know of,” I amended, “She and her husband, Tiny Mikey owned the motel I lived in before it exploded.”
Earl nodded sagely, “When I am released and can once again continue my search for a Centaur Queen, I shall consider it, there are few large enough to handle a true King.”
I didn’t doubt that one bit. Earl was more horse than man by my estimation. His human torso began at the same height as my shoulders.
“And we have completed my linen duties for the day,” Earl said after he refolded my final sheet. He patted now empty unfolded laundry cart and pointed to the opposite side of the room. Able to read his hints, I wheeled it into the taped off square and the laundry room was back in order.
“I will have your clean laundry brought to your quarters when it is complete,” Earl told me.
“Oh, thanks, you don’t have to do that, I can-”
“Nonsense,” Earl said with an exaggerated sweep of his arm, “Earl, Centaur King of the Fitted Sheets will grant you, Iris Engels, void mate of the shifter, this favor as a token of my favor.”
“Um, thank you, King Earl,” I said, his expression brokered no argument, and I wasn’t looking forward to hauling the laundry back up the hill anyway, “That is a very generous -erm token. I will uh cherish it forever and tell tales of your generosity across the bleach and softener kingdoms.”
He nodded sagely, “Come, let us dine, I’ve been promised a barrel of fresh-cut oats for the evening meal today. I’ll gladly share some with you.”
“That’s ok, I’m really more of a ramen noodle gal,” I said.
“Nonsense,” Earl patted me on the shoulder, causing me to stumble forward, “You shall eat at my table.”
“Oh, I’m honored by the invite but-”
“Iris!” a familiar voice cut across the hallway.
“I had a previous commitment,” I said, “Unless the mimic Tips Townsend is welcome at your honored table.”
Earl looked down the hall where my disheveled friend jumped up and down calling my name, “Another time, Iris void mate of shifter.”
“It’s been an honor, King Earl,” I said, before rushing over to Tips.
“What were you doing talking to the centaur?” Tips asked. His eerie blue eyes widened, “Is he a suspect. You know I always thought he was suspicious. No normal man is that into detergent.”
“I was doing laundry, Earl taught me to fold sheets,” I said, turning back to give the odd centaur another wave, “He’s... interesting.”
February 22, 2020
Introducing the C-Suite
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.
— Terry Pratchett
Introducing the C-Suite in the Katzenmeyer Office
Stinky
He came here to snuggle and look at himself and he’s already seen his own cuteness.
Cobb
He’s crafty. Enjoys hiding, hunting, and stickers. Often found cuddling with Stinky.
Caesar
Once an only child, she’s still bitter about the addition of the boys. Enjoys outside and wet food.
