Lisa R. Howeler's Blog, page 99

Special Fiction Saturday: A New Chapter Chapter 20

I thought I’d share an extra chapter this weekend as I am marching toward writing the final chapters during the week. I shared Chapter 19 yesterday.

To catch up with the story click HERE.

If you would like to read the first books in this series, you can find them HERE.

Chapter 20

Ginny looked at her watch for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. Where was he? He’d told her this morning he’d be here.

“Don’t stand me up this time, Stan.”

She did not want to have to tell Keith they’d have to reschedule because her husband was, yet again, too busy with work.

Oh great. There he was. Keith, parking his car in a space a few spots up from hers. She looked in the rearview mirror.

“Stan, come on.”

Maybe she could simply drive away and text Keith, telling him she’d have to cancel. That would work. It would be awkward, but no more awkward than having to admit her husband cared more about his job than his family, especially his wife.

She slid the key in the ignition, preparing to leave before Keith reached the sidewalk next to her car, but it was too late. Curse that man’s long legs. He spotted her and waved, sliding his sunglasses off and slipping them into the inside pocket of his leather jacket.

She forced a smile and waved back, opening the door to the car.

Keith reached out for her hand as she stepped up on the sidewalk and pulled her into a hug. “Hey, there. Where’s the ball and chain?”

Ginny breathed in the smell of his cologne, a pang of guilt stabbing at her for enjoying it, the manliness of it. She longed to have Stan hug her this way so she could breathe in his cologne while nuzzling his neck.

She pulled back from the hug and looked at her watch, frowning. “Running late, I guess. He should be here soon.”

Keith gestured toward the restaurant’s front door. “Shall we get a seat and wait for him? We can order drinks and an appetizer.”

Ginny chewed her bottom lip, hesitating. “Um. Yeah. Okay.”

She looked back over her shoulder as Keith opened the door for her, searching the street for Stan’s car.

Come on, Stan. Be here. Just this once. Please.

Inside the restaurant was warmly lit, tables set under lightbulbs casting off soft, orange glows.

“Two?” the hostess asked looking between Ginny and Keith.

“Three actually,” Keith answered. “The other member of our party is running late.”

When they sat, Ginny glanced at the empty chair and her jaw tightened.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as Keith placed his jacket on the back of his chair. How many times in the last two years had she attended events without Stan, making apologies, waiting for him to call and explain or make another excuse? Too many to count.

She was tired of it.

After hoping for a year to taste the food at this restaurant she was here, but not with the man she’d wanted to be with.

It didn’t matter. She was going to make the best of it and hopefully, he’d show up before the waitress took their orders for entrees.

Keith folded his hands on the table. “So, at the art class, you were telling me your daughter was trying to decide if she wanted to stay in California or not. What did she decide?”

Ginny pushed aside her thoughts of Stan and sighed. “I came home from the class and found her in my kitchen.”

Keith laughed. “Ah, I see. So she made up her mind to come home then?”

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Yes, and she’s dropped out of school. She has no idea what she’s going to do and it makes me want to scream.” She laughed. “I love her and I love having her closer to home but all that money and she’s not even going to get a degree. It’s infuriating.”

The waitress approached and Ginny ordered a glass of water with lemon, Keith an iced tea, and an appetizer of blini with caviar. Stan loved caviar. Ginny hoped he arrived in time to have some.

“You know,” Keith propped his hand under his chin. “It might be good for your daughter to take some time off. She may decide she wants to go back and get her degree later on or she may not, but either way, she’s finding out what makes her happy.” He winced. “Of course, that doesn’t replace all that money you and Stan shelled out. What was her degree going to be in?”

“Social work.” Ginny’s phone rang and she looked at the caller ID. “It’s Stan. I should take this.”

“Of course.” Keith nodded toward the phone. “Definitely take it.”

“Hey, hon’, listen, I don’t think I’m going to make it.”

She’d known what he was going to say before he said it, but hearing it didn’t make it any easier.

“Yeah.” She didn’t even try to hide the annoyance in her voice. “Okay.”

The waitress arrived with her water and Keith’s iced tea.

“Are you upset?” Oh, how perceptive of him. “Listen, I’m sorry, but the client was running late. He just got here and this is a possibly big sale.” No surprise he didn’t even wait for me to answer.  “The Henderson farm. They’re looking to make it into a commercial farm. It could mean jobs for the area.”

Ginny didn’t answer. She tapped her fingers on the table and scowled into her glass. She’d heard it all, this was no different.

“Gin, you still there?”

“Yep. I’m here.”

“Send Keith my apologies. I’ll find another date we can do this again. My treat.”

“That’s fine. I’ll tell him. See you later.”

Ginny slid her finger over the end button without even a goodbye. She was tired of faking cheerful goodbyes after he let her down. It was getting old.

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Not going to make it?”

Ginny shook her head, sipping her water.

“I’m guessing by your demeanor this isn’t a new thing?”

Looked like Keith was perceptive too.

“No,” she said. “Not at all.” She pushed her hand back through her hair, enjoying the feel of it soft against her skin. She’d used a new conditioner Liz had suggested, hoping Stan might finally notice her new haircut, or at least comment on it. She’d caught him starring at her one day, thinking he might have finally noticed, but then he’d told her he’d sold a property that had been on the market for three years and walked away.

“Well,” Keith spread his hands out. “We’re already here. The appetizer is on its way. We might as well have some dinner.”

Ginny felt insanely uncomfortable agreeing to have dinner with a man who wasn’t her husband, but Keith was right. They were already there, seated, with appetizers on the way and she was hungry. She was also antsy for a night out. Between the fundraiser, planning for Clint and Tiffany to come home, helping Liz with Bella and her new job. She was ready for a break. It wasn’t her fault if Stan couldn’t be bothered to show up. She was tired of waiting on him to live her life.

“Remember that night we climbed the water tower?” Keith asked the question ten minutes after they’d sampled the caviar and ordered their entrees.

Ginny looked up with furrowed eyebrows. “Oh, my goodness. I had forgotten about that.”

The dimple in the cheek popped up again as Keith smiled. “You were terrified and kept saying, ‘Keith, no. We shouldn’t be doing this. Won’t we get in trouble?’” He laughed. “You pressed your back against the tank, closed your eyes, and it took me five minutes to convince you to look out over the town.”

Ginny laughed. “Oh, I remember. I was so scared. I’m glad I finally opened my eyes, though. It was beautiful.”

“You should open your eyes more often.”

Her gaze met his, noticed the way the candle in the center of the table reflected in the light brown iris. She’d forgotten how hints of green blended into the brown. “What do you mean?”

Keith kept his eyes on her. “It’s just, I’m afraid you’ve forgotten how to live Ginny.”

She pulled her gaze from his, dropped it to her hands folded in her lap. She opened her mouth to speak but he continued. “Be honest with me. There’s been something missing your life, hasn’t there? That spark. The spark for life. Don’t you want to get that back again?”

She rubbed her fingers along the edge of the tablecloth. He was right. She did want to get that spark back again. How to do it was the question that had been poking at her for months now.

The server bringing the entrees was a welcome sight and a welcome interruption. She changed the subject to the food, to how long it had been since she’d eaten out a restaurant like this and he, thankfully, followed her lead and began to talk about his new love of cooking.

The server’s appearance came as they finished their entrees and he was describing how he had discovered how to cook the perfect pot roast.

“Desert for the lovely couple?” The server was a young man who looked like a seventh grader to Ginny. He’d been attentive the entire time, asking every ten minutes if they needed anything or if he could refill their drinks and each time she felt like asking him if his mother knew where he was.

She raised a hand in response to his question. “Oh, no. We’re not a —

“Sure.” Keith smiled at her and winked. “We’d love some dessert.”

“Keith, I —”

The dimple appeared again, his eyes sparkling. “Have some fun for once Ginny.” He ran his index finger down the desert list. “How about the Mont Blanc Chocolate Pavlova. That sounds good, right?”

His French accent when he pronounced the desert impressed her, she had to admit. She smiled and propped her chin in her hand. “Yeah, actually, it really does. Even though I have no idea what it is.”

Keith winked. “Then that is what we’re having.” He handed the list back to the server. “We’ll take two. One for each of part of this lovely couple.”

Ginny sipped from her water, the word couple lingering in her thoughts, apprehension sneaking along her senses.

***

Matt stretched his legs out and propped his feet on the coffee table. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes, pinching his nose between his thumb and forefinger. Normally at this time he’d be pouring coffee into his thermos and grabbing a slice of toast on his way out the door to work.

There wasn’t a job to go to this morning, though, so all he could do was sit and think about the last 24-hours.

He’d expected it, of course, but the meeting with Reggie had still been uncomfortable.

“I can’t stand that I have to do this, Matt.” The man shook his head, leaned bag in his chair, and huffed out a breath, his gaze on the top of his desk. “You’re the best cop I’ve ever had in my 25 years on this force.” He shook his head, leaned forward with his hands folded in the shape of a triangle on top of the desk, and looked up at Matt. “What in the world happened, boy? Never in my wildest imagination did I think I’d be suspending you for excessive force.”

Answering Reggie had been even harder. How did he explain that what Gabe had said about Liz had incensed him, left him mentally black for several minutes, and when he came to his senses Gabe was already bleeding on the sidewalk?

In the end, he’d simply said, “I lost my cool. I was out of line. I’m really not sure what came over me.”

Reggie had scoffed, flopping back in this chair. “A woman came over you, that’s what. Women will be the death of us and our careers, I swear.” He winked. “Don’t tell my wife I said that, of course.” Reggie slid a sheet of paper across to him. “This is your written warning and suspension conditions. You’ll be reinstated by the council after a full investigation and pending the outcome of any criminal legal proceedings against you.”

After that had been the call from the State Police Academy

“Mr.  McGee we regret to inform you that due to a criminal complaint filed against you while on duty as an officer with the Spencer Police Department, we are going to have to rescind our acceptance of your application to join the state police academy.

The entire situation was surreal, yet he knew it was all entirely his fault. Those ten minutes with Gabe were still a blur. Looking back, he realized he must have had some kind of mental break. He’d heard the term blind with rage but never thought of it as a real occurrence until that moment. Then there was the saying “I saw red,” and he supposed he could say he had seen red, figuratively anyhow, when Gabe said he’d forced Liz into sleeping with him that night.

“Don’t tell Liz about this,” he’d told Jason and Alex when they’d met him outside the police station later that night.

“It’s a small town, dude, she’s going to find out,” Alex reminded him.

“Just – maybe she’ll be too worried about finding a new job or too busy with her classes to hear,” Matt said, dragging his hand through his hair. He really didn’t know, but he didn’t need to add more stress to Liz’s life.

Would she feel like it was her fault that he’d been suspended from his job and lost his place at the academy?

He hoped not.

Maybe she’d be angry instead. At this point, he had no idea. Liz was hard to read at times, especially recently. He wished they had more moments like they’d had at the bowling alley that one time or during movie nights when she laughed and joked with him, forgetting about her worries. She let her guard down during those moments and he wanted more of that, more moments of the real and unhindered Liz. The Liz he remembered from high school and before she hooked up with Gabe.

Those were the moments when he could see himself reaching over, laying his hand behind her head, clutching that beautiful dark hair, and kissing her mouth the way he’d imagined doing for years now.

Wouldn’t that shock her? Knowing he had thoughts like that. Thoughts of kissing her, thoughts beyond being a police officer or teaching young boys about how to live a good, righteous life. No, he didn’t think imagining kissing her was inappropriate, but he wondered if it would shatter her preconceived notion that he was some kind of saint.

Someday he’d have to tell her and find out if she was shocked that he wasn’t so perfect after all, but right now he had to figure out what he was going to tell her when she eventually found out he’d been suspended for slamming her ex-boyfriend off the hood of a patrol car.

He yawned and stretched. Doing nothing sure was exhausting. He hadn’t done nothing for years now. Even his days off were normally filled with activity. This time, though, he didn’t have the mental energy to keep himself busy. Plus, the idea of going into town or anywhere people could see him wasn’t appealing right now. If Liz was right and everyone thought so highly of him, they probably wouldn’t as word got around how he’d treated Gabe.

He clicked the TV off and stood, stretching again. A series of cracks sounded up his back and he reflected how that had gotten a little better since he’d started going to the gym with Jason and how he hadn’t been to the gym with Jason for a week. Lifting a few weights and a few rounds on the stationary bike might be just what he needed to lift his mood.

He turned toward his bedroom to change out of his t-shirt and sweatpants when a knock on the door stopped him. Alex was still at the farm and he had a key, so it couldn’t be him.

The sight of Bernie standing at his door sent a shiver of uneasiness sliding through him and he kept the door partially closed.

“Bern?” How did he even find his cabin? “What’s up?”

“Hey, Matt, sorry to bother you like this, and I hope you don’t mind I asked Evan Starks if he knew where you lived.” Matt had graduated with Evan. He’d have to remember to talk to Evan about handing his private information out to people he’d arrested. Bernie pushed his long strands of dirty blond hair back from his face and laughed softly. “I probably should have told him you’d arrested me once. He might not have been so forthcoming with the information.” He winked. “I’m not here about that, though. Really. Can I talk to you about something?”

Matt hesitated then opened the door wider. “Um, yeah.” It was too cold this morning for them to stand on the porch and have a conversation. “Come on in.”

Bernie looked around the inside of the cabin as he walked in. His gaze drifted upward to the high ceiling and second story. “Nice place. Didn’t this used to be just a cabin you and your dad used?”

Matt walked to the kitchen and reached for the coffee pot. “Yeah. I decided to remodel it a few years ago and turn it into a house. I was tired of living in an apartment over the hardware store.” He held the pot toward Bernie. “Coffee?”

Bernie nodded. “Yeah. That would be nice.”

Matt gestured toward the chair at the kitchen table. “Have a seat if you want. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. I’ve got a new roommate and he’s not the cleanest guy around.”

Bernie laughed. “I hear you. Chrissy isn’t the best housekeeper and the kids trash our place pretty good. This is nothing compared to what it looks like there this morning.”

Matt set two mugs of coffee on the table and sat down, sliding the sugar bowl toward Bernie.

“Listen, Matt, I know this weird, but despite everything I trust you and I need to tell you about something that’s been going on.” Bernie sipped the coffee. “I’m in some trouble and before you ask, it’s not what you think. I did something for somebody, but I didn’t know I was doing something illegal, you know? When I found out, I panicked. I can’t go to the police about this, for obvious reasons. I mean, officially go to the police.”

Matt leaned forward, brow furrowed. His stomach clenched. Where was this going? “Hey, I understand. This is between you and me for now. Let’s figure out if we even have to go to anyone else.”

Bernie cleared his throat. “Okay, so I did this job for Gabe Martin. He wanted me to deliver a package for him. I knew it was wrong, but I needed the extra money. He told me if I didn’t do it, he’d find a way to pin something on me. He knew the police wouldn’t believe me. I couldn’t risk getting sent away again so I agreed.” Bernie stared into the mug. “I know it was stupid. I should have just told him to get lost, but, again, I needed the money. The mechanic business isn’t going great yet and we were running out of food.” He shook his head slowly. “So, I picked up the package and I delivered it for him about two hours away. I met some guy that just gave me the wrong vibes, you know? I didn’t ask any questions. Just took the package to him.” Bernie took another sip of coffee, winced. “The guy starts asking me if this is the good stuff. I’m thinking, the good what? I don’t know, right? Because I’m just delivering it for Gabe. I’m like, ‘yeah, I guess’ and the guy goes, ‘because I don’t want any of that fentanyl mixed crap you sent last time. It got one of my customers killed and I’m not messing with that again. If it’d got linked to me, I would have been sent up to state.’”

Bernie chewed his bottom lip for a few seconds and then looked at Matt. “I didn’t know, Matt. I didn’t know about the drugs, okay? I shouldn’t have done it. The cops are never going to believe me.” He pushed a hand back through his hair, clutched it at the top of his head, and drew in a breath. “Do you even believe me?”

Yeah, for some reason Matt did. Not only because he knew the real Gabe Martin but because if Bernie was guilty he wouldn’t have walked into the lion’s den this morning. Unless — he didn’t want to think it. Unless Bernie was trying to frame Gabe.

Gabe wasn’t a great guy, no doubt about it, but was he a drug dealer?

Matt studied Bernie for a few seconds then nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think I do. I mean, as far as I know, burglary is more your thing. I never really pegged you for messing with drugs.” He rubbed his hand across his chin. “Of course, as much as I dislike Gabe, I didn’t peg him for that either.”

Bernie nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t either, to be honest. I don’t know if this is his thing or if he’s just transporting like I was. The guy is a jerk, but a drug manufacturer and dealer.” He shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t see it either. All I know is he is the one who sent me the package.”

The state police hadn’t released a report about the discovery at the abandoned building. They didn’t want it in the newspapers until they knew more. Alerting the media might tip off the owners. Matt wondered if Bernie knew anything about it.

“Where did you meet Gabe for the package pick-up?”

“Outside some building about five miles out of town. Looked abandoned.”

“Did you go in?”

Bernie shook his head. “No. Gabe met me outside at his truck. About 1 a.m.”

“Anyone else around?”

“No, not that I know of. Place was dark. Creepy actually.”

Matt took a swig of the coffee, swished it in his mouth. “You tell anyone else about this? Even Chrissy?”

Bernie laughed. “No, and especially not Chrissy. She’d kill me.”

Matt leaned back in the chair, arm hanging off the back of it. “Good, keep it that way for now. Let me look into some things and I’ll get back to you.”

Bernie cupped his hands around the mug. “Is it true that you got suspended for decking Gabe?”

Matt grimaced. “Yeah. That’s around town huh?”

Bernie tipped his head down slightly. “Dude, it’s Spencer. Of course it’s around town. You think people aren’t going to talk about the town’s saint police officer kicking the crap out of a guy on Main Street?”

Matt ran his hand across his face and laughed. “Saint police officer. Sounds like how someone else described me. Yeah, it wasn’t my best moment. Not in the least.”

Bernie grinned. “I thought it was cool.” He lifted the mug and peered over it. “Showed me you’re not as uptight as I thought you were.”

And it showed you I might be the prime person to help you set up Gabe if that’s what you’re doing. Matt hated even having the thought and he hoped it wasn’t true. While hoping Bernie really had started a new chapter in his life, he also hoped he was right that Gabe hadn’t known what was in the package either. He didn’t like Gabe, that was for sure, but the last thing he wanted was for Bella’s biological father to be a drug dealer, for the sake of her and Liz, and for Gabe.

Fiction Friday: A New Chapter Chapter 19

For those who are new here, this is a novel in progress. I post a chapter each week and there may be typos, plot holes, inconsistencies, etc.

I have been busy working to finish this story and hope to start working on the second draft the week after next, to get this book ready for an April 26 release to Amazon.

To catch up with the story click HERE.

If you would like to read the first books in this series, you can find them HERE.

Chapter 19

“Liz? You here?”

She heard her mom calling from the front of the apartment and groaned, covering her head with the pillow.

Molly had taken Bella to her parents today, telling Liz to sleep in and try not to think about what had happened the day before at the restaurant. She didn’t have a class until the afternoon today, so she’d agreed to it. She’d already answered a call from Ginny, checking on her, asking if she needed anything. Texting back that she was fine hadn’t been a lie, not really. She was fine, in some ways. At least she hadn’t had a full-blown panic attack. Yet. Somehow.

The entire town probably knew what had happened by now. People who had been closer to Gabe and Matt by the bar, like she had been, heard exactly what Gabe said that set Matt off, but she hoped most of the restaurant didn’t.

“Liz?”

She tossed the covers off her and stepped out of her room, squinting in the sunlight blasting in through the apartment’s floor to ceiling front window.

Marge set her purse on the couch and stepped toward her. “Oh, hon’.” Liz bristled at the pity in her mother’s voice. She was not in the mood for pity. How had she even heard about it? And how much did she know?

Liz folded her arms across her chest, avoiding eye contact with Marge who was standing with arms outstretched, and headed for the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She splashed her face with cold water, choked down bile and willed her stomach to calm down.

Had that really happened yesterday? Maybe she was dreaming, and her ex-boyfriend hadn’t told an entire restaurant, or at least the bar section, that he’d practically forced her into sleeping with him the night she conceived her child.

She dried her hands and face quickly and pinched her arm. That hurt, so clearly she wasn’t dreaming. Unfortunately.

The anger she’d seen flashing in Matt’s eyes when he dragged Gabe through the front doors of the restaurant and tossed him onto the sidewalk had been real, even though it felt like a nightmare as it was happening. The moment he’d slammed Gabe onto the hood and cuffed him hadn’t been a figment of her imagination, but she wished it had.

Her face had burned with embarrassment as Gabe hissed his confession at Matt. She’d kept her eyes downcast at the floor, dreading looking up and seeing expressions of pity or disgust being cast her way. She knew it was stupid, but she felt like they were all judging her for being weak and pathetic.

In reality, most of the people in the restaurant didn’t know her and those who did probably didn’t care as much as she thought they did. The world didn’t revolve around Liz Cranmer and her many failings. People had much more important issues in their lives to deal with. She probably wasn’t even a dot on their radar. There had been a few whispers, though. A few looks cast her way. She’d caught them after she’d grabbed her purse, gave Ginny a curt, “I need to go,” and walked swiftly to her car.

Luckily the fundraising meeting had been almost over anyhow. The shouting had drawn the gazes of her and the rest of those in attendance toward the noise. It was only when she saw the face-off between Gabe and Matt that she’d stood and walked to the doorway to get a closer look. Ginny had stood behind her, a hand on her shoulder, asking in silence if she was okay.

She wasn’t, but she’d nodded her head once.

Now, here she was with her mother outside her bathroom door, pacing, ready to pounce and ask her about what Gabe had said. Mary Landers was on the library board. She was also in Marge’s Bible study. Ah. That’s how her mother knew.

Liz groaned and wiped a hand across her mouth, regretting her decision to stay in a small town where everyone knew everything about you and if they didn’t, someone would tell them.

“Liz, are you okay?”

Liz had to give her mom credit, she at least sounded concerned. When Liz opened the door, Marge looked concerned too. Kudos for effort.

“Mary Landers called this morning to ask if you were okay. I had no idea what she was talking about.”

Liz brushed past her mom without answering and headed for the kitchen.

Marge followed. “What in the world did Gabe say to Matt to cause him to act like that? Do you have any idea?”

So, Marge didn’t know the full details. Yet anyhow. Liz reached for the carton of milk and the bottle of chocolate syrup in the fridge. It was a heavy on the chocolate syrup kind of morning.

“I’m not totally sure, no.” It wasn’t a lie. She hadn’t heard everything Gabe said. She’d heard enough to know he’d spared few details about how she’d ended up pregnant.

“I would have never expected that out of Matt. Have you talked to him? Is he okay? Did he say anything to you?”

Liz stirred the syrup into the milk, the spoon clanging against the glass. “No, I haven’t talked to him and hasn’t said anything to me because he didn’t even know I was there.”

Marge sat at the kitchen table and shook her head. “It is just so out of character for him.” She chewed at her bottom lip. “Gabe must have said something awful about you. Why else would he do that?”

Liz sat down across from her mom and took a swig of the milk. “I don’t know, Mom.” She stared at the glass. “I don’t really want to talk about it. Is that the only reason you stopped by?”

Marge looked up sharply. “There’s no reason to be snippy, Liz. I came here to check on you.”

Liz’s eyes narrowed, her jaw tightened. “I’m fine. You don’t need to check on me.”

“Liz, if you have something to say to me then just say it.” Marge’s sharp tone brought Liz’s gaze up to meet her mother’s. “I’m tired of the way you talk to me, the way you treat me like I’m some evil ogre. I even wonder what you’ve told Ginny Jefferies about me.”

Liz quirked an eyebrow. “The way I treat you? Really? That’s rich.”

Marge’s eyebrows dipped into an angry scowl. “I told you I was sorry for what I said about you sleeping with Gabe and Matt at the same time. I should never have said that.”

“You also shouldn’t have even thought it.”

Marge took a deep breath. “Fine. I shouldn’t have even thought it. You were in a dark place back then. Did I really think you would do that? No, but I didn’t know. People do awful things when they aren’t in their right mind and for a while there I don’t think you were in your right mind.”

Liz emptied the glass in one long gulp, then stood and set the glass in the sink. “Which time? When I was living with Gabe or all the years before that when I still couldn’t do what was right in your eyes.”

Marge stood, setting her hands at her waist. “I never said you were doing anything wrong when you were young, Liz. I don’t know where you get the idea that I was always criticizing you. I was not. You were always criticizing me. It didn’t matter what I said, I was always wrong, and you were always right. I can’t even remember how many times I expressed concern for you, and you somehow decided I was being critical or controlling.”

Liz held up her hand. “I’m not in the mood for an argument, Mom.”

Marge’s voice lowered into a strained tone. “You’re never in the mood for a discussion and that’s what this is. I’m not trying to argue, I’m just trying to find out what Ginny has that I don’t.”

Confusion furrowed Liz’s eyebrows. “What? What does Ginny have to do with this?”

Marge folded her arms across her chest, lifting her chin slightly, focusing her gaze somewhere across the kitchen. “You talk to Ginny like I always wanted you to talk to me. I just want to know, why is she the person you can talk to? Why don’t you come to me when you are upset or down? I’m your mother.”

Liz scoffed. “Maybe because she doesn’t judge me. She doesn’t suggest I try to act more like my sister or tell me I’m not living the way the Lord would want me to.” She stood and flung a cupboard door open, reaching for a mug. “She listens to me, she tells me it’s going to be okay. She offers to pray for me, not tells me to pray about it. She doesn’t look at me like I’m the biggest disappointment in the world to her.” She slammed the mug on the counter and reached for the package of hazelnut coffee.

Marge’s expression fell, fading from angry to clear hurt. “I don’t — I —” Her lower lip quivered, her eyes glistening. “I pray for you, Liz. I’ve always wanted the best for you. I —” She closed her eyes, shaking her head slowly. “I’ve never thought of you as being a disappointment. I’m the disappointment. I’m the mother who did such a horrible job that you would have rather died than tell your father and me you were pregnant.”

Liz drew in a ragged breath. She turned around, stepped back against the counter. “What — how — you knew? All this time?”

Marge laid a hand against her chest, nodding as tears streaked her cheeks. “Of course, I knew.”

“Did someone tell you?”

Marge shook her head. “No. No one told me anything. I just felt something was off when you said you accidentally took too many pills. I don’t think you’d do that. You’re too bright to make that mistake.” Marge swiped her index finger under her eye, across the moistness there. “I just kept thinking I was such a bad mother that you couldn’t even come to me in your darkest moment. I could never bring myself to ask you to the truth, though. It was too hard for me to face that it was my fault you’d tried to kill yourself.”

Liz reached for the tissue box on the counter, took one and held the box out to her mom. “Mom, it wasn’t your fault.” She let out a shaky sigh. “It was my messed up thinking that took me there. It was my fault. You can’t take responsibility for my decisions.”

Marge took a tissue and dabbed the corners of her eyes. “But if I had been less critical when you were growing up, more warm, more open, more — more, well, like Ginny.” She pressed the tissue against her eyes as she spoke. “I wanted the best for you and instead of encouraging you, I criticized. I don’t know why I did that. I wish I could go back and change how I acted, how I projected my fears on to you through my critical spirit.”

Liz let out a breath and sat at the table again. She pushed a hand back through her hair, pushing it back from her face. “I know, Mom. I do. I wish I could go back and change how I acted too.” She shrugged a shoulder. “But can’t go back.” She rested a hand on the table, looked at her mom still crying into the tissue. She thought about Matt’s words all those weeks ago, about not letting a root of bitterness take hold. Watching her mother cry, she saw her in a different light. She saw a brokenness from a woman who’d done what she thought she should do and failed. In that moment she saw herself in her mother.

She stretched her arm across the table, laid a hand over Marge’s. “But we can move forward.”

Marge looked up, eyes red and swollen. “I want to do that. I really do.” She squeezed Liz’s hand. “I’m sorry. I really am. I can’t promise I’ll be completely different, but I’ll try. Old habits are hard to break, but the Bible says they can be broken.”

Liz looked at her hand in her mom’s and thought about all the years she’d pushed her parents away, especially her mom. The rebellious teenage years had stretched into the early 20s and now here she was nearing 30 and she still had the same rebellious spirt rattling inside her. “I’m sorry too, Mom. I’ll try too.”

The women smiled at each other and then Liz sat back and finished wiping her face with a tissue. “I never wanted my life to go this way, you know. I didn’t. I wanted to do it the right way. Find a man to marry, date him, get engaged and then get married and have children. I just don’t know how I ended up where I am now.”

Marge snatched a tissue from the box and leaned over, dabbing it against Liz’s cheeks. “Life happens, honey. What’s done is done. Isaiah 61:3 . . .to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair.” Marge smiled. “You still being here, and our Bella are our beauty from the ashes.”

Fresh tears burned Liz’s eyes. She cleared her throat and pulled her gaze from her mom’s, not used to so much tenderness between them. She stood and took a couple of steps to the counter. “Have you had breakfast yet? I could make us some pancakes and bacon. Molly brought some of that bacon from Murphy’s Farm home from the store last night.”

Marge blew her nose. “Oh my, yes. That sounds wonderful.” She laughed softly, a foreign sound for Liz, at least for the last few years. “Having a breakdown really works up an appetite.”

Liz laughed as she opened the fridge. “Yeah, it does. Trust me. I should know. I’ve had enough of them.”

Marge stood and opened the cupboard next to the stove. “Where are your pans? I can help.”

Liz gestured to the cupboard next to the sink. “The griddle is in there and the frying pan is in the drawer under the stove. Not a lot of room in this little place.”

Marge retrieved the griddle and set it on the counter. “No, but if there was more room you’d just collect a bunch of things you don’t need like I have over the years.” She smiled, nudging Liz in the arm with her elbow. “You know what I mean. All those dutch ovens and baking pans I’ve collected.”

A small laugh came from Liz. “Or all those rolling pins.”

“Well, two of them were passed down from your great-grandmother.” Marge opened a drawer and then another before retrieving a spatula. Liz poured the pancake mix in a bowl as her mom found a frying pan for the bacon. It had been years since they’d worked together like this, without Marge ordering Liz to do so, and Liz had to admit it felt nice. It was how a mother and daughter should be, working together, laughing together. Well, they weren’t quite to laughing, but close enough.

Marge layered the bacon in the skillet. “Listen, I know it’s really none of my business and maybe I shouldn’t bring it up right now, but —”

 “Matt and I are friends, Mom. Really. That’s all.” She stirred the water and pancake mix together, smiling. “He’s been good to me, and I care about him, but we’re just friends.” She looked over at her mom, the smile. “And, Mom, I promise you, I have never slept with anyone other than Gabe. I wish I hadn’t even done that.”

Marge turned the burner on, nodding. “I believe you, honey. I do.”

A few moments of silence followed, filled only with Liz pouring and flipping pancakes and bacon sizzling.

“But, about Matt, you don’t have any romantic feelings for him at all?”

Liz bit the inside of her lip as she flipped a pancake. Seriously, Marge? Come on! She’d just told her mom she’d try to be better, and one way to do that was to stop being dishonest. Still, she didn’t really know how to answer that question without opening up several other cans of worms. While she was debating, though, her mother spoke.

“Because he loves you, Liz.”

“Mom, come on. We’re just —”

The seriousness of her mom’s expression made Liz swallow the familiar response.

“He does. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you.” She moved her hand across an imaginary sky. “Like you hung the moon. That love doesn’t come along very often, you know.”

Liz returned to mixing the batter. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you. Really. It’s just —” She shook her head, not sure how much of herself she wanted to share with her mom right now. “I’m not good enough for him. Matt’s amazing and everyone loves him, rightly so. He’s like fine wine and I’m a cheap beer.” She winced. “Sorry. I know I shouldn’t have made an alcohol reference considering my past issues. It was just the first analogy that popped into my head.”

Marge flipped the pieces of bacon. “Oh, Liz, that’s not true. You are worthy of happiness, and you are worthy of him. Let him love you.” She leaned over and kissed Liz’s forehead. “Let down some walls and just let us all love you.” Liz’s smile was faint. She knew her mom was right, but how did she let her walls down with a man who hadn’t even told her the truth about where he’d been the night she’d tried to kill herself?

Book Review: The Rhise of Hope by Max Sternberg

Book: The Rhise of Hope

Author: Max Sternberg

Genre: Christian Fantasy

DESCRIPTION: A new Judge has been chosen, now a new path must be taken…

Leon Rhise has been chosen. He is the latest Judge to walk amongst civilization. Saving villages, slaying undead, and bringing the light of a forgotten God back to the world was proving to be no easy feat. Recently, it had become even more difficult after being branded a criminal.

Hidden behind a heroic identity, he attempts to atone for his past deeds– including ones that left the Kingdom without its prince. After uncovering and witnessing a long forgotten truth, Leon and his friends rush to aid Princess Schalae who had once been betrothed to Leon’s commanding officer, Prince Gelan.

A massive army of undead is bearing down on her home, and they must help her decide whether her people should stand and fight against impossible odds, or run and save what they can.

Pasts and paths converge, and the fate of the last kingdom will be decided. But what form will that fate take when it seems as if all hope is already lost?

MY REVIEW

Sternberg has done it again in this second book in the series, using an imaginative world to tell a compelling story while pointing the reader to the true story of who God is and how he loves his people. The first book is called The Rhise of Hope.

The creativity in the book is as impressive as the writing, which draws you into the world until you feel like you are there. Sternberg’s world is vivid and full of endearing characters that readers won’t be able to stop themselves from falling in love with.

Leon’s journey to help the people of the land fight against evil forces can easily parallel our own lives. While we may not be fighting physical zombies or monsters as Leon and his friends do,  we fight them daily within our minds and we have the spiritual realm around us and within us.

This is a book that will take you away from your everyday struggles, drawing you into an imaginary world, but will also leave you thinking about the picture of your life, especially the spiritual aspect.

EXCERPT

Schalae pressed her hands on the table and leaned forward, “Can’t this Adonai just fix everything if He is so all powerful? He could stop this Xhormas right now if He wanted to, right?”

“Who is to say that He has not already?” Rohiel countered, also leaning forward over the remnants of their breakfast. He picked up a leftover grape and set it at one end of the stone table.

 “Adonai sees all time, all at once, He sets His plans, which include our purposes, in motion.” Flicking the grape, it rolled across the table until it slowed and stopped at the other end. “He sees the end before we do because He is already there. Already at the solution.

Yet because we are not Him, we can only see the plan in motion. Your assumption that Adonai sees the world in the same way that you do would be incorrect.” To learn more about Max’s books check him out on Amazon and www.maxbsternberg.com

Sunday Bookends: Sliding in the snow, rocking out, husband says to stop reading more than one book at a time? Wha-?

Welcome to Sunday Bookends where I ramble about what I’ve been reading, doing, watching, writing, and listening to.

What I’m Reading

This week I finished The Rhise of Hope by Max Sternberg (a Christian fantasy book) and Still the One by Susan May Warren and Rachel D. Russell (a romance).

Next up is to finish the fifth book in the Longmire Series, The Dark Horse by Craig Johnson.

I’ve also started The Reckoning Trees: A Seth Browne Novel, Book One by Alicia Gilliam and will finish it after I finish The Dark House because my husband told me last week after he read my blog, “One book at a time, honey! One book at a time.” Sigh. He reads one book at a time and then another and another and another until he’s read like 100 in a year. I’m a much slower reader who often gets distracted by other books.

Little Miss and I finished Freedom Crossing this week for her history/literature and I will be sharing a review of it here on the blog later this week. We also finished Emily’s Runaway Imagination by Beverly Cleary and started The Mouse and the Motorcycle also by Beverly Cleary.

The Boy is still reading A Long Walk to Water.

What’s Been Occurring

This past week provided even more cold weather. I can’t remember a winter this cold in a long time. I didn’t want to leave the house at all but on Friday Little Miss and I had a hair appointment. I woke up to surprise snow, which annoyed me to no end. I hoped it was only a dusting and the plow trucks would come through before I had to leave in the afternoon but apparently they were just as surprised because the roads were not clear when I prepared to leave.

I often have to rely on others to get me places, either because I’m nervous about driving or have some weird health thing going on. I was determined, though, to do this on my own so I backed our van down our very steep driveway, onto the snow-covered street, and hoped the road I was going to be driving on to would be better.

It was not.

Not at all.

It was covered in snow and a thin layer of what looked like sleet. I carried on, hoping the road would get better.

It did not.

My dad had offered to take me and Little Miss in his truck, but he’d already had a busy morning and, like I said above, I wanted to do this on my own and not bother others. There comes a point though when trying to be brave becomes succeeding in being stupid and that point came when I hit the county line and saw the road was even worse the further I went. I finally pulled off and found enough cell service to call the salon and apologize because I knew the roads where they weren’t as bad.

You see, where I live is like a whole different world than the next county over. You can drive three miles south and the roads are only wet, while the roads in my town are covered in a couple inches of snow. You can be at my parents’ house and they have a dusting of snow and drive to my house and we have a foot. Okay, no, it’s not usually that extreme, but still — it’s a little weird.  

The woman who answered my call at the salon said she lived near me, so she totally understood the circumstances. One minute the road can be clear, the next covered in snow or ice.

So, I turned around and headed back home. We drove the half-mile and then it was time for me to go up our street so I could pull our van up the driveway. I usually go around to the other end of our street so I can pull the car in at a straight angle.

I forgot, however, how steep that end is so as I headed up, my van decided it would stop at the top of the hill of it and then slide back down. I shifted the van into low gear and hit the accelerator before it could slide very far and inched the car up to the flat part of the street.

That took about thirty seconds and when we hit that flat spot, I knew we were fine to make it the rest of the way down the street. The next task was the driveway, and I floored it but didn’t make it.

For reference, here is our driveway looking down, pictured last winter:

It’s a challenge even without snow

The car started sliding backward toward the street. Little Miss decided she didn’t want to be in the van when I tried it again so she requested (demanded) to be released so she could walk up the driveway to the house.

After two more tries and lot of accelerator pushing, (during which I hoped I didn’t destroy my engine), I managed to pull the van back into the garage, where it will sit until the driveway is free of snow and ice.

So, I didn’t accomplish getting to the hairdresser on my own, but I did accomplish getting the van back into the driveway despite the snow and ice. It was a small victory, but I took it.

What I’m Watching

My husband and I watched the last episodes of Lovejoy and to say I was disappointed in the last episode is an understatement. I can’t remember my exact words when it ended but it was something like, “Are you serious?! That’s it! Six seasons and that’s how they end it?”

Suffice it to say, I was not impressed and felt like the ending was a total cop-out. My husband reminded me that we can always go back and rewatch the beginning but somehow it doesn’t feel the same knowing that ended in such a depressing way. I would still recommend the series since it was very entertaining, but it did not end the way I hoped it would.

What I’m Writing

I have been participating in writing sprints with the writers at Novel Academy (a writing school of sorts) for the last two weeks. We meet in a “room” on Facebook, chat for ten minutes, share what we are going to work on and then go and write for 50 minutes. We return at the end and report how we did and then we do it again, up to four times if the host is able to and if we want to continue our writing for the day.

Thanks to these sprints I have marched on toward the end of A New Chapter’s first draft and I hope to finish it by the end of this week, or next at the latest. After that I will go back and edit and fix plot holes or errors or maybe even rewrite entire scenes or chapters. We will see.

At this point, my release date has been set for April 26. I’m excited for my readers to read the story in its entirety with all the changes or additions made (and there are going to be at least two new scenes that were not shared in the chapters I shared here). I have also narrowed the choices down for the book cover and think I will go with this one:

Last week on the blog:

 I shared a review of the book Blood Brothers by Elias Chacour;

Shared my random thoughts;

And shared a new chapter of A New Chapter (ha!)

What I’m Listening to

This week I enjoyed relaxing and writing while listening to a Jack White concert:

and then his new song:

Then I slipped into some White Stripes,

Mumford and Sons,

And then The Lumineers:

I know. Quite different for me. Don’t worry, I still love my Christian artists and worship music, and, of course, Needtobreathe.

Mac Powell, the lead singer from Third Day has a new album coming out so I’ll probably be listening to that this week.

Now it’s your turn

So that’s my week in review. How was yours? What are you reading, watching, doing, listening to, writing and all that jazz? Let me know in the comments.

Fiction Friday: A New Chapter Chapter 18

This is a novel in progress and it could have typos, plot holes and other mistakes, which will be corrected before final publication in April.

Want to catch up on the rest of the story? Click HERE.

Chapter 18

The blue Mustang was parked where it had been parked the night she’d let him talk her into stopping by his apartment. Liz shuddered and rubbed her hands across her arms. She should have picked a better parking space while she waited for Ginny, not one across from Gabe’s physical therapy business.

The planning meeting for the library’s fundraiser was being held at Mooney’s today and Ginny had asked her to come so she could introduce her to the board as the new children’s librarian. Liz still couldn’t believe she’d agreed to take the job. She’d never worked with children before and like she’d told Ginny, she didn’t even really like children, which sounded awful coming from a woman who’d just given birth to a baby a few months earlier.

Ellie Tanner could be the children’s librarian. Not only was she a preschool teacher already but she loved children, which made the fact she couldn’t have any of her own that much more heartbreaking. A guilty ache settled in Liz’s chest again when she thought of Ellie. Here she was, a messed up woman who’d made a thousand poor choices in her past with a baby, while Ellie’s arms were empty. It didn’t make sense and wasn’t fair.

She glanced at the Mustang again, knowing it meant Gabe was in his office, pretending to be the attentive physical therapist that everyone knew and loved. She wondered if he knew how many people actually saw through his façade and knew that the real Gabe wasn’t compassionate, but was instead greedy, dishonest, and selfish.

“Liz, come on. I just want to talk to you.” She could still hear his voice, pleading with her. “We left stuff hanging and I really want to apologize for how I acted and it all ended.” Gabe had laughed as she staggered backwards. “Besides, you look like you could use a cup of coffee before you head home.”

The world had become a swirling mix of bright lights and dull sounds around her and Gabe’s voice sounded like it was drifting down a long hallway. She should have never taken that dare to drown the last of the whiskey in Jimmy Larson’s glass.

“Yeah. Sure.” She had laughed and waved a hand, the ground weaving under her, sending her crashing forward against Gabe. “A cup of coffee would be good.”

Did the whole cup of coffee thing really work to sober a person up anyhow? She doubted it but she’d been too intoxicated to think too deeply about it.

In minutes she was back in the apartment she’d left a few months earlier, her chest tightening when she looked at the bedroom doorway and remembered the night he’d grabbed her arm and dragged her through it. He’d asked her if she remembered what he’d told her that morning. That she needed to clean up her mess before he got home. He didn’t like a messy apartment and she knew that when he moved in.

She’d almost run out of the apartment at that moment, but the alcohol had clouded her judgement, so she’d stayed. Oh, how she wished she hadn’t stayed.

A tap on the driver’s side window startled her, bringing her back to the present. She looked up into Ginny’s bright eyes and welcoming smile. “Hey, coming in?” Ginny mouthed.

Liz nodded and grabbed her purse. As she walked with Ginny she once again wondered where all her confidence had gone. Maybe Isabella had sucked it out of her while she’d been growing in the womb and in the future, she’d be full of the confidence Liz no longer possessed. Before becoming pregnant she would have walked into this meeting with her head held high, believing she could tackle the job and be successful. Now she felt like a frightened little mouse in a cage, wondering when the trap was going to close on her neck.

After Ginny introduced her and the board members and library volunteers all welcomed her with smiles, she felt guilty for having been worried. She still couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t the person for the job, but at least no one was looking at her as if they felt the same way.

She watched Ginny in awe as the woman laid out the final plans for the fundraiser and then discussed some of her ideas for the upcoming year. Looking around the table, Liz noticed even the board members seemed enraptured with Ginny’s ideas and presentation. It was clear that like Matt, Ginny was a treasured member of the community. Though she was happy for her friends and the adoration they received, Liz couldn’t help being a little glad she wasn’t in that category. It would have made her personal failings even more glaring in the eyes of the townsfolk, as her grandfather used to refer to them.

The meeting was being held in the banquet room, which was on the other side of the main dining room. A quick glance through the doorway afforded a view of the diners. As Liz sat and listened to one of the board members offer additional suggestions for upcoming fundraisers, she watched Jason and Alex pick a table and sit down. Mooney’s was one of their favorite places to grab lunch or dinner when they were in town. She wondered if Matt would be joining them.

A server closed the door between the rooms, closing off Liz’s view. She turned her attention back to the meeting, trying her best to show she was an attentive employee, even as she worried she might not be up to the job.

It was a job, though, and she needed it. At this point, beggars couldn’t be choosers. She had to take what she could get it to ensure she and Bella had a roof over their heads and food in their bellies.

If having a baby as a single mom had taught her anything, it had been that she wasn’t living life for herself anymore. She had another person to think about. The thought excited her because of her love for Bella, but it also terrified her because she knew if she blew this job, or her pursuit for a degree, it was Bella who would suffer the most.

***

Alex waved at Matt from a table at the back of the restaurant. It was Matt’s dinner break, and he was grateful Jason and Alex had invited him to join them. Otherwise, he would have been sitting back at the office with a bologna sandwich he’d made at home and a bottle of water, overthinking how he’d almost kissed Liz after that art class the other day. She was so close. He should have just gone for it. She’d stepped away, though, and he’d gotten the feeling she wanted to get as far away from him as possible. He wasn’t sure he wanted to think about why.

If he hadn’t been thinking about her then he would have been thinking about the heroin he and Stan had found at the empty building. He thought Stan was going to wet himself when he’d told him about the drugs and paraphernalia and that they needed to wait there for the state police.

“Drugs? Are they going to think we’ve been doing drugs?” Stan’s eyes had been as wide as saucers and Matt almost forgot he was twenty years older and an experienced real estate agent. He’d been surprised Stan hadn’t come across criminal activity before while selling property in the area, especially in recent years with the explosion of heroin trafficking. Drug dealers seemed to think the more rural areas of Spencer Valley were perfect for hiding their operations and, sadly, they were right.

“So glad you could time in your schedule for us, Officer McGee,” Jason said with a grin as Matt sat across from him.

Alex pushed a menu toward him. “We ordered you a soda and your favorite appetizer of fried mushrooms.”

Matt quirked an eyebrow. “Those are your favorite, Alex.”

“Oh.” Alex grinned. “That’s right. So, I ordered you nothing.”

While they waited for their food, Jason and Alex filled Matt in on how things were going with planning for a corn maze at the farm the next fall. Alex changed subjects abruptly after their food arrived.   

“Did Liz tell you about Linda?”

Matt nodded. “Yeah, that was crazy. Luckily, Ginny’s already arranged her a job at the library.”

Alex nudged Matt in the side with his elbow and winked. “Were you there to offer a shoulder for her to cry on?”

No, Matt thought. Because she always throws up a wall when I try to reach out to her.

Matt scowled as he took a drink from his soda. “Very fun—”

Laughter from across the restaurant drowned out his response and he glanced over at the source of the laughter.

His jaw tightened at the sight of Gabe laughing loudly next to the bar with a group of other men, a beer in his hand. Gabe’s smile faded when he caught Matt’s gaze. Matt quickly looked away and turned his attention back to Alex and Jason, not wanting to poke the bear.

Jason stretched an arm across the back of the booth bench. “So, we only have you another month, I guess. We’d better make the most of it.”

Alex popped a mushroom in his mouth. “Movie nights won’t be the same without you and your snarky quips.”

Jason laughed. “Especially when we watch chick flicks.”

Matt shook his head, smiling, but before he could speak, he heard a shout from across the room.

“You’ve had enough, Martin! Go home!”

Matt turned his head to see the restaurant’s owner with his hand around Gabe’s upper arm, dragging him away from the bar.

“I’ve had enough when I said I’ve had enough,” Gabe shouted, turning and taking a swing at the owner.

Alex sighed. “Dang. Looks like you’re back on duty, Officer McGee.”

Matt’s shoulders slumped and he winced. “Yeah, I am.”

In a few steps, Matt was in the middle of the two men, one hand on Gabe’s chest as the bar owner stepped back.

Gabe snorted a laugh. “Oh, look who’s here. Officer McGee. The town golden boy. Come to break up all the fun.”

Matt jerked his head toward the door. “Head home, Gabe.”

Gabe’s tone was mocking as he repeated Matt’s suggestion. “Head home, Gabe.” He sneered at Matt. “Shove it, McGee. You may be able to cast spells over the women in this town, but that’s not going to work on me.”

He poked a finger in Matt’s chest and then staggered backward into the edge of the bar.

Matt rested his hands on his duty belt. He knew if his hands were free, he might not be able to control himself. “Let’s step outside, Gabe.”

Gabe took a step toward Matt, sweat beading across his forehead. “I don’t need fresh air, do you, Officer McGee?

Matt took a deep breath and tightened his jaw, resisting the urge to grab Gabe’s arm and drag him through the restaurant and force him to step outside. “You may not need the fresh air but all the people around you do, so let’s go.”

Gabe stepped forward until he was practically nose to nose with Matt, the stench of alcohol thick in the air. “You think you’re such a big man don’t you, McGee? You’re such a big man you’re even taking credit for knocking up my ex- girlfriend.”

Matt swallowed hard, knowing he needed to stay calm, keep himself in police officer mode by pushing his emotions aside. “Come on, Gabe. You’re drunk and you’re going to say something you regret.”

Gabe laughed, spit hitting Matt’s face. “Regretssss. Such a big word for a tiny-minded man. What will I regret?” He tipped his head, his jaw tight. A small smirk pulled at his mouth a second later as Matt held his gaze. “You know what I don’t regret? All the nights I had Liz in my bed. How’s it feel to have my seconds?”

Bile rose in Matt’s throat, but he didn’t move as onlookers watched, some from their tables, some, such as Gabe’s friends, standing by the bar. “Gabe, I don’t want to have to make you leave this bar, but I will if you don’t —”

“You know what was great about Liz? Do you, McGee? She was easy. In every way. If I wanted her to do something I just told her how happy it would make me, and she did it. Like the night I got her pregnant. She didn’t want mommy and daddy to know what a dirty girl she’d been, how she’d been drinking and partying and popping pills so all I had to do was tell her I’d tell them all about it.”

Matt’s hand flew quickly to the top of Gabe’s head, fingers clutching a handful of hair, yanking the head down while the other hand grabbed the back of Gabe’s shirt. Without speaking he dragged Gabe toward the door in three swift moves while Gabe attempted to flail his arms upward.

“You can’t arrest me!” Gabe screamed. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Disorderly conduct and public drunkenness.”

“I’m not in public! I’m in a bar!”

Matt shoved Gabe toward the glass front doors and then used his body to push them open. Gabe hit the pavement face first.

“Now you’re in public,” Matt hissed.

“Matt! Calm down!” Jason’s voice sounded behind him, but Matt could barely hear him over the roaring in his ears as he stood above Gabe, breathing hard.

Gabe rolled over quickly, his cheek scraped open, blood trickling along his jawline. “What do you think you’re doing, McGee? I didn’t figure you for police brutality. What’s wrong? Can’t stand hearing the truth about your woman?”

Jason and Alex stood at the front of the crowd that spilled out onto the front sidewalk, forming a half circle around the men.

Alex stood behind him, leaned close to his ear. “Ignore him, Matt.”

 Matt ignored Alex’s urging and grabbed the front of Gabe’s shirt, lifting him to his feet and him toward the police car a few feet away.

“Turn around, Martin, you’re under arrest.”

Gabe spit blood at the ground and shoved Matt back. A brief struggle ended with Gabe sprawled across the hood of the car, Matt’s elbow in Gabe’s back as he pulled his arms backward.

“If you don’t want a charge of resisting arrest, you’ll shut up and let me cuff you.”

Gabe growled but relaxed his arms as the handcuffs clicked closed. “You’re not going to get away with this.”

Jason stepped next to Matt, placed his hand on his shoulder. “Matt, what are you doing? You need to calm down. This isn’t like you.”

Matt opened the back door of the police car, pushed Gabe’s head down and shoved him inside, then slammed the door shut. He walked away from Jason without looking at him and slid in the front seat of the patrol car.

Gabe leaned forward, blood pouring from his nose. “You’re done, McGee. You hear me? My lawyer is going to destroy you. You’ll never work in this town or any town again when we’re finished with you.”

Matt took a deep breath and started the car, knowing Gabe was most likely right. Not only would he probably lose his job, but he was sure to lose his spot at the state police academy for this. Once he calmed down, he’d decide if it had been worth it.

Randomly Thinking: Horses with gas, new haircuts, David Hasselhoff in Berlin.

Last month I mentioned Knight Rider and David Hasselhoff but forgot to share with you this awesome video of David singing in Berlin the night the Berlin Wall came down. Did you know that he is beloved in Germany? Well, he is and after hearing some of his songs, I think they should keep him.

***

A representation of my son’s new haircut.

Hey, at least he got his haircut.

***

This is what the news is like for me now:

Politician complains about other politician and then other politician tweets rude comments about another politician. Wash, rinse, repeat.

***

A horse farting. I don’t know what else to say.

***

I sent this message to Erin @ Still Life, With Cracker Crumbs earlier this month:

You know that whole thing I was doing to keep posting because WordPress was telling me I posted so many days in a row? And I thought I could get to 15 days in a row? Well, apparently last week when I re-shared something on my blog they decided that wasn’t a real blog post or they lost count or something because now they say I only posted three days in a row. Gasp! I have posted 14 days in a row! 14, WordPress!!!!! Give me my little award thing!

Like, whatever. I don’t need them. I know what I did and I know that I am….well . . .

A loser.

***

Republicans and Democrats have had one thing in common for the last two presidential terms – almost every day they could answer the question of “Did you hear what the president said” with “Oh gosh what did the idiot say this time?”

***

You know it’s been ridiculously cold in your area when you look at the weather app on your phone and say “oh, it’s 25. That’s not so bad. Maybe we don’t need three blankets tonight.”

It is 1 degree while I am writing this and this morning when my husband when to work at 8 a.m. it was -6.

***

My husband bought me a huge, soft blanket for Christmas last year. This blanket is so big our family of four can sit on the couch and be covered by it. This winter I have loved sliding under it and rubbing my feet against its softness. Focusing on how good and soft it feels has helped take my mind off the trials of life many times. Do you have something like this in your life? Maybe a favorite sweater, coat, or pillow?

Those are a few of my random thoughts for this week. How about you? What are some random things that happened to you recently?

Book Review: Blood Brothers. A story of people, not politics.

Book: Blood Brothers

Author: Elias Chacour and David Hazard

Genre: Non-fiction

Description:

As a child, Elias Chacour lived in a small Palestinian village in Galilee. When tens of thousands of Palestinians were killed and nearly one million forced into refugee camps in 1948, Elias began a long struggle with how to respond. In Blood Brothers, he blends his riveting life story with historical research to reveal a little-known side of the Arab-Israeli conflict, touching on questions such as:

•What behind-the-scenes politics touched off the turmoil in the Middle East?
•What does Bible prophecy really have to say?
•Can bitter enemies ever be reconciled?

Now updated with commentary on the current state of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, as well as a new foreword by Lynne Hybels and Gabe Lyons, this book offers hope and insight that can help each of us learn to live at peace in a world of tension and terror.

My Thoughts

I would love to say that Blood Brothers by Elias Chacour is merely a book full of history, a story of experiences of the past, not of the present, or even the future. I would love to say this book is now irrelevant, that the problems that face the nation of Israel and the Palestinian people are no longer there.

Sadly, Chacour’s book about growing up as a Palestinian Christian when Israel became established as a nation in 1948 holds familiar themes for our world today. Chacour’s book, first written in 1984 holds many of the same lessons and truths we need to be aware of today when talking about the tension and bloodshed between the Israeli and Palestinian people.

Chacour’s story is an eye-opening look at the conflict in Israel but also at those working for peace there. Chacour, now in his 80s, is still working for that same peace, the peace that was lost long before modern history, but especially in the late 40s when the United Nations declared Israel its own nation. Chacour may not have seen peace on a wide scale but at the personal level, he has seen healing and understanding unfold between Jews, Muslims, and Christians in a way he never thought possible as a child who witnessed unimaginable, heartbreaking violence toward his people and others.

As the back of the book says, Blood Brothers is a story about people, not politics and that’s exactly how I found it.

Chacour grew up in a small Paestinian village in Galilee. In 1948, tens of thousands of Palestinians were killed and nearly one million were forced into refugee camps. Chacour’s only family was chased from their village and their men were arrested, some of them later able to return, some of them killed. Being called a terrorist was a routine occurrence for Chacour from the time he was a small child and probably even know. He dealt with these these taunts and oppressive comments even as he studied to become a pastor with the Melkite Church. He is now the Archbishop of that church.

Chacour’s personal experience created a struggle within him between the love of the Christ he knew and how humans treat other.

Blood Brothers has become an international best seller, not only because it details Chacour’s experiences, but because it offers hope that healing will come on a personal level, if never on a political level, for the people of Israel and Palestine.

It is a book we all should read before we form or express opinions on the Palestinian-Israeli conflict and I hope more will do so.

Sunday Bookends: Subzero temps, crazy night driving, scattered reading, and pushing deadlines

Welcome to Sunday Bookends where I ramble about what I’ve been reading, doing, watching, writing and listening to.

What’s Been Occurring

I did very little again this week thanks to the ridiculously cold temperatures. On Saturday morning our weather app said the temperature was negative 15 at 5 a.m. By 8 a.m. it had warmed all the way up to negative nine. Similar cold temperatures are expected this week as well. I don’t have plans to run around anywhere because we missed two days of school last week. One day we drove to get my son’s hair cut (finally!!! After a year of him refusing to get his hair cut) and another day my daughter spent a day with her friends. Those were the two days I left the house. The second coldest day of the week was when I took my daughter to meet her friends. The roads I travel to get there are very narrow for most of the drive.

The main road I take doesn’t have yellow lines and has me gripping the steering wheel and tensing my buttock cheeks almost the entire way. Driving it during the day is stressful, but at night it is even worse because the lights from the oncoming cars are blinding and there is no room to move over to give the other car space and get away from those lights. After the trip in the dark where I worried I was going to have a head-on collision, I told my husband he can do the night pick-ups from now on. He’s used to the road because he drives it every day, twice a day, for work.

To top it off, when I hit the bottom of a hill and parked at my old high school to meet my friend to pick up my daughter, the heat stopped working in our van. The thermometer read 12 degrees and we had no heat for the drive home. That’s what I thought anyhow but with a little fiddling, the heat came back on, thank God. We made it home and I promptly announced I was not leaving the house until March.

Of course, that won’t hold, I’ll have to visit my parents, but beyond that — I am not leaving my house until March. *wink*.

What I’m Reading

I’m enjoying Still The One by Susan May Warren and Rachel D. Russell and might finish it this week. I plan to finish The Rhise of Hope, this week and share a review at the end of the week.

I had put The Dark Horse by Craig Johnson on hold to finish Max’s book, but I’d love to get back to that book before the end of the week. I love Johnson’s writing style.

I also hope to start Cape Refuge by Terri Blackstock next week, but first I have a Carrie Stuart Parks book I really want to finish, that I just remembered this week I had put aside because of some heavy subject matter. I wasn’t feeling heavy that particular week.

Little Miss and I are reading Emily’s Runaway Imagination by Beverly Cleary before bed and Freedom Crossing a few times during the week for school.

The Boy is reading A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park for school.

The husband is reading Dark Matter by Blake Crouch.

What I’m Watching

This week we watched reruns of The Jeffersons and Night Court.  We watched another episode of Lovejoy and are three episodes away from the end.

I reluctantly watched Spaceballs with my son and hate to even admit that.

I’d never seen it before and now I’m wishing I could still say that.

I also watched a couple of episodes of The Cleaner, a BBC show about a crime scene cleaner. It’s a mix of funny, sad, and touching with a bit of gore tossed in once in a while.

What I’m Writing

I’m in serious first draft mode for A New Chapter and hope to finish it by early or mid-February so I can start the second draft and then send it out to my critique group. I always say “second draft” but really I edit as I go in my books at times, so it’s probably more like a third or fourth draft. I have not gone back and reworked this book as much as past books and that’s because I lost a month from being sick and because I’m determined to get the draft done and then start gutting it. I tentatively have set up April 26th as the release date for the book.

I didn’t share much on the blog last week because I didn’t have any ideas. I have a couple of ideas for this week, so I’ll probably share a little more.

I did share another chapter of A New Chapter for Fiction Friday. If you’re waiting until the entire book is done to read it, that’s totally fine. I mainly post the chapters for the couple of readers who are following around, with the caveat that the story could change by the time I publish it.

What I’m Listening To

This week I listened a lot to the soundtrack of The Greatest Showman, especially at the end of the week when I had to do a lot of driving. On the way home from dropping Little Miss off at her friends I became a Broadway singer – even attempting to act out the scenes, but finally decided that was a bad idea considering the twists and turns of the road I was on.

Now It’s Your Turn

So that’s my week in review, how about you? What have you been reading, listening to, watching, or doing lately? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to know. Definitely share any good books you are reading.

Fiction Friday: A New Chapter Chapter 17

This chapter will need a lot of work before the final publication. It could be cut altogether in the end too. This book is giving me a lot of trouble, to be honest.

As always, this is a work in progress and there may be typos, plot holes, etc. and the final story is always subject to change before I later publish the final version. To catch up with the rest of the story click HERE.

Chapter 17

Stan was sitting in his car outside the abandoned building when Matt pulled up in his truck.

He climbed out of his sedan and stuck a hand toward Matt as he walked toward him. “I appreciate you coming, Matt. I know it’s not in your jurisdiction, but I didn’t think the staties would come out this far to check it out.”

Matt’s eyes darted around as he shook Stan’s hand, taking in the dilapidated building, the vines stretching up the side, the broken windows, a partially caved in roof. “No, problem. I figured I’d do it off duty just to eliminate the appearance of the Spencer police stepping into the state’s territory.”

He wasn’t sure how much poking around he could do since Stan wasn’t sure who the property belonged to. He didn’t have a warrant, but Stan had expressed concern about the back door looking like it had been broken into. He could at least take a look and decide then if a search warrant was needed.

“We’re hoping to find the owner and sell this property.” Stan talked as he followed Matt. “We have a commercial company interested in this whole area. The owners of the properties adjacent have already signed. I’ve got my secretary combing through deeds records at the courthouse.”

Matt pushed a branch out of his way as he walked through the high brush toward the back of the building. “Oh yeah? What do they want to put in?”

“Distribution center of some kind.” Stan ducked under a tree limb. “It could bring a lot of jobs to the area if it works out.”

Matt stepped into a clearing and looked up at a small flight of stairs leading to a metal door, a bolted lock on a chain hanging from it, leaving the door slightly ajar. The sight of the open door placed him on edge and he hoped it was only from all those horror movies he watched as a teenager.

He wasn’t sure how much further he should go, since entering the building might be considered trespassing. He took in the outside of the building again. The place had clearly been abandoned years ago, maybe even a couple of decades ago. There was a good possibility someone was squatting or the door had simply been jammed open by some teenagers look for a place to smoke and drink.

Stepping up the stairs he peered through the gap in the doorway. From what he could see the building looked empty other than some old tables and chairs, and a few pieces of old machinery, maybe from whatever business used to be here. On the far side of the room there was a longer table, maybe the remnants of a conveyor belt. The tarp covering it drew Matt’s attention and he hoped it was only covering more equipment or machinery.

“I probably shouldn’t go any further until we find out who owns this.”

Still, that tarp drew his eye, and he had a sudden urge to look under it, even as a larger part of him wanted to take off back to his truck and alert the state police to it instead.

“Stay here, I want to check something out.”

Stan nodded, clearly uneasy as he slid his hands in his dress pant pockets and stepped a couple of steps down from the door.

The concrete floor was still in good shape, even under several thick inches of dust. A bird flew out of the metal rafters and Matt flinched but kept walking toward the tarp.

“This is stupid, Matt,” he said outoud as he walked. “No one is going to leave something like drugs under a tarp in an unsecure building.” His arm bumped a large board sticking out of one of the tables and knocked it to the ground. The clatter of it hitting the concrete floor bounced off the walls and ceiling.

“You okay?” Stan called from the stairs.

“Yeah. Just a board. All good.”

It would be stupid for there to be anything criminal under the tarp, but the building was several miles outside of town and in the middle of nowhere. He needed to at least double check and if he found anything his first call would be to the state police. He’d have to explain why he was trespassing on someone else’s property while off duty, but he had a feeling the troopers would simply be happy to bust one of the many drug rings that had cropped up in the area recently.

Lifting the tarp, he found himself praying this wasn’t really like a moment in a horror movie, that there wasn’t a dead body underneath, even a dead animal.

“Be a man, McGee,” he told himself. “Lift the tarp. Also, stop talking to yourself. This is getting weird.”

He lifted the tarp gingerly and peeked under. It only took one look to know he had to pull the tarp all the way off while reaching in his pocket for his phone.

“State Police Barracks, Benford County, Trooper Banfield speaking.”

“Hey, Officer Matt McGee from the Spencer Police Department here. I need to be transferred to Trooper McCallister, drug unit.”

 

***

Olivia had been home a week now and Ginny still hadn’t been able to pin her down and get a straight answer about whether she’d dropped out of college or not. Every time she tried to ask Olivia waved and said, “Going to meet up with Melody” or Avery, or Trish, or one of her other many friends who were still living in Spencer. Ginny was determined to corner her daughter today.

She heard footsteps on the stairs as she placed two plates on the table, one with vegan pancakes and some kind of vegan sausage, the other with bacon, eggs, and a waffle.

“Hey, Liv. I made you breakfast.” She called the words out before her daughter could slip out the door.

Olivia peeked into the kitchen. “Thanks, Mom, but I —”

“Sit down, Olivia.” Ginny pointed at the chair opposite hers. “You’ve been avoiding me all week. It’s time we talked. I even made vegan food for you. It took me 20 minutes to figure out which fake sausage to get so you’re going to at least sit down long enough to eat it.”

Oliva sighed as she entered the kitchen and sat. Her gestures as she begrudgingly picked up a fork reminded Ginny of when her daughters had been teenagers and had tried to skip breakfast so they could slip out early and meet up with the boys they liked. Oliva had used to meet up with Brent, before she decided he was “too small town” for her.

Ginny stirred creamer into her coffee. She usually didn’t have coffee but this morning she decided she needed the extra pick me up. She’d made sure to add only half a cup of coffee so she could fill the rest with creamer and sugar. “Time for some tough talk. Did you drop out of college or are you on an extended break?”

Oliva kept her eyes on her plate. She pushed the pancakes around her plate, soaking up the syrup.

“You need to tell me the truth.” Ginny prodded her daughter, knowing she needed an answer so she could decide how they would break the news to Stan without him having an aneurysm.

“Fine.” Oliva rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “I dropped out.”

Ginny took a deep breath to keep herself calm. “Why?”

“I told you. California just isn’t for me anymore. I don’t even know what I’m doing there. I’m wasting your money by working toward a degree that I don’t even know if I’m going to use anymore.”

“If you’re not going to get a degree then what are you going to do?”

Olivia shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”

“Olivia. Seriously?” Ginny tried to keep the anger she felt gnawing at her insides outside of her voice. “You can’t just drop out of school and —”

“How come you cut Liz Cranmer slack but not me?”

Ginny’s eyebrows raised. “Excuse me?”

“Dad says you’ve been hanging out with her for months now. What’s so great about her? She got knocked up by some jerk and everyone knows she was a total alchey and pill popper.”

“Olivia!” Ginny stared at her daughter in disbelief. “When did you become so judgmental? Is this how you learned to act out there? Liz has worked hard to get back on her feet. She’s a wonderful mother, she’s working toward a degree in social work through online courses, and she just took a job as the children’s librarian. Just because she made some mistakes in her past doesn’t mean she’s a horrible person.”

Oliva slid down in her seat and closed her eyes, wincing softly. “Yeah. I know. Sorry.” She let out a breath and looked up at her mom. “I don’t know where that came from.” She shrugged a shoulder. “I guess I’m jealous.”

“Of Liz?”

“Yeah. I mean, she’s had all your attention lately. You two have fun together. It’s like you replaced Liv with Liz. Dad said you watch movies together, go to lunch, attend art classes.” Oliva picked at the fringes on the cloth placemat under her plate. “You never did that stuff with me.”

Ginny set her fork down and set her hands under her chin. “I tried, Olivia. Maybe you’ve forgotten but you never wanted to be around me as a teenager. I embarrassed you. I would gladly have done all those things with you and would do them with you now if you wanted to. Liz needed some extra support. Things have been tense with her parents, she was trying to figure out how to be a new mom. I just wanted to help and, well, we do have fun together. She makes me forget that I’m a dried up old lady with a very dull life.”

Olivia scoffed. “Mom, you’re not a dried up old lady.” She reached across the table and covered her mom’s hand with hers. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Ginny waved a hand dismissively. “It’s probably just some midlife crisis thing. I’ll get over it eventually. In the meantime, I’ve enjoyed my time with Liz. If you’re going to be home for a while I’d love to have you join us when we go out or get together for a movie night.”

Olivia’s tone softened even more. “I’d love to, Mom.” For the first time in a long time Ginny heard sincerity in her voice.

“Don’t think that this conversation about you dropping out of school is over, though. You know how upset your dad is going to be. There will be conversations about what you’re going to do for a job, where you’re going to live.”

“Can’t I live here for now?”

“For now, but do you really want to be almost 21 and living at home with your parents?”

Olivia made a face. “Yeah. I didn’t think about that. Guess I better start making some real plans.”

The back door opened as the women finished their breakfast. Ginny noticed a flush to Stan’s cheeks as he strode across the kitchen and reached for the coffee pot. She raised an eyebrow as she and Oliva exchanged a look.

“Uh-oh.” Ginny mouthed the words.

“Hey, Dad. Busy morning already?”

“Hmm?” Stan reached for the creamer on the table. Ginny could tell he was distracted again. Probably thinking of another real estate deal. “Oh yeah. Busy.”

He sipped the coffee and cleared his throat. “Listen, I need to talk to you two and I don’t want you to go all crazy on me.”

Ginny’s muscles tensed around her neck like they usually did when Stan said he needed to talk. It was usually about a big property he was working selling or telling her he wouldn’t be able to attend this or that.

Stan sat at the table, the coffee mug cupped in his hands. “I wasn’t going to tell either of you about this, but then I thought about how you’d probably find out from someone else.” Ginny rubbed a hand against the back of her neck, trying to loosen the tightness and distract herself from the thoughts racing through her mind. “Last week when Matt and I went to that property, Matt discovered a stash of heroin.”

Olivia sat back in her chair, her eyebrows raised. “Whoa. Seriously? In Spencer Valley”

“Yes.” Stan stirred the creamer in the coffee and took another sip. “Matt says heroin has been big around here lately. It’s replaced meth as the dominant drug industry. He called the state police and I had to stay for questioning.” Stan starred into the cup of coffee for a few silent seconds as if waiting for a word of wisdom. “They called me in again this morning. I couldn’t offer them any information beyond what Matt and I saw, unfortunately. None of this has hit the papers yet, but I have a feeling it will soon. I just hope my name will be kept out of it.”

Ginny swallowed hard, her muscles even tighter now. “I’d never really thought about real estate being a dangerous job before.”

Stan grunted and stood. “It’s not. This is the first time I’ve ever encountered anything criminal in the 25 years I’ve been doing this job.”

Apparently, she wasn’t even permitted to worry about him now.

He opened a cupboard and reached for a travel mug to pour the rest of the coffee in. “I’ve got to head back to the office. I have two potential clients coming in.”

A small smile tugged at Olivia’s lips. “Dad, aren’t you worried the drug dealers will come after you?” Her voice quivered with a stifled laugh.

Ginny shot her a scowl. “This isn’t funny, Olivia. This could be really serious.”

Stan laughed. “Not that serious. They left the door to the building open and a tarp loosely covering them. Whoever is running this stuff obviously isn’t a criminal mastermain..” He pressed the lid down on the mug. “So, no. I’m not worried.” He headed toward the back door again. “I won’t be home for dinner but if you could make me a plate, that’d be great. See you both later.” He pointed at Olivia. “Especially you. We need to talk.”

Olivia slumped back against her seat. “Yeah, I knew that was coming.”

Ginny raised her hand. “Stan, wait. Keith is back in town and wants to know if we’d like to go out to dinner with him.”

Stan paused in the backdoor doorway, stepped back, and peered around the door. “Keith?” His eyebrow quirked questioningly. “Your old boyfriend Keith?”

“Yes. He’s moved back and running his business from a cabin a few miles out of town. He invited us to dinner on Thursday.”

Stan stepped back into the kitchen, brow furrowed. “When did you run into him?”

At the grocery store, at an art class, and outside the library.

She decided to pick just one. “At the grocery store a few weeks ago. So, what should I tell him?”

Stan looked above her head for a moment, frowned, and then nodded. “Yeah. I should be able to make that. Where at?”

“Antonio’s in Clarkston.”

“Yeah. I’ve heard that place is great. Sure. I’ll probably have to meet you two there. I have a meeting at six. Shouldn’t take more than a half an hour.”

“He suggested 6:30. I can ask him if 6:45 is okay.”

Stan shifted the travel mug to his other hand, a stack of papers under his arm. “Sounds great. I’m looking forward to it.”

Ginny cocked an eyebrow as he walked through the doorway, then narrowed her eyes. Well, that was interesting. He’d been saying he was too busy for anything she suggested for months now. One mention of dinner with Keith and he could make it? What was that all about?

Fiction Friday: A New Chapter Chapter 17 Part I

This chapter will need a lot of work before the final publication. It could be cut altogether in the end too. This book is giving me a lot of trouble, to be honest.

As always, this is a work in progress and there may be typos, plot holes, etc. and the final story is always subject to change before I later publish the final version. To catch up with the rest of the story click HERE.

Chapter 17

Stan was sitting in his car outside the abandoned building when Matt pulled up in his truck.

He climbed out of his sedan and stuck a hand toward Matt as he walked toward him. “I appreciate you coming, Matt. I know it’s not in your jurisdiction, but I didn’t think the staties would come out this far to check it out.”

Matt’s eyes darted around as he shook Stan’s hand, taking in the dilapidated building, the vines stretching up the side, the broken windows, a partially caved in roof. “No, problem. I figured I’d do it off duty just to eliminate the appearance of the Spencer police stepping into the state’s territory.”

He wasn’t sure how much poking around he could do since Stan wasn’t sure who the property belonged to. He didn’t have a warrant, but Stan had expressed concern about the back door looking like it had been broken into. He could at least take a look and decide then if a search warrant was needed.

“We’re hoping to find the owner and sell this property.” Stan talked as he followed Matt. “We have a commercial company interested in this whole area. The owners of the properties adjacent have already signed. I’ve got my secretary combing through deeds records at the courthouse.”

Matt pushed a branch out of his way as he walked through the high brush toward the back of the building. “Oh yeah? What do they want to put in?”

“Distribution center of some kind.” Stan ducked under a tree limb. “It could bring a lot of jobs to the area if it works out.”

Matt stepped into a clearing and looked up at a small flight of stairs leading to a metal door, a bolted lock on a chain hanging from it, leaving the door slightly ajar. The sight of the open door placed him on edge and he hoped it was only from all those horror movies he watched as a teenager.

He wasn’t sure how much further he should go, since entering the building might be considered trespassing. He took in the outside of the building again. The place had clearly been abandoned years ago, maybe even a couple of decades ago. There was a good possibility someone was squatting or the door had simply been jammed open by some teenagers look for a place to smoke and drink.

Stepping up the stairs he peered through the gap in the doorway. From what he could see the building looked empty other than some old tables and chairs, and a few pieces of old machinery, maybe from whatever business used to be here. On the far side of the room there was a longer table, maybe the remnants of a conveyor belt. The tarp covering it drew Matt’s attention and he hoped it was only covering more equipment or machinery.

“I probably shouldn’t go any further until we find out who owns this.”

Still, that tarp drew his eye, and he had a sudden urge to look under it, even as a larger part of him wanted to take off back to his truck and alert the state police to it instead.

“Stay here, I want to check something out.”

Stan nodded, clearly uneasy as he slid his hands in his dress pant pockets and stepped a couple of steps down from the door.

The concrete floor was still in good shape, even under several thick inches of dust. A bird flew out of the metal rafters and Matt flinched but kept walking toward the tarp.

“This is stupid, Matt,” he said outoud as he walked. “No one is going to leave something like drugs under a tarp in an unsecure building.” His arm bumped a large board sticking out of one of the tables and knocked it to the ground. The clatter of it hitting the concrete floor bounced off the walls and ceiling.

“You okay?” Stan called from the stairs.

“Yeah. Just a board. All good.”

It would be stupid for there to be anything criminal under the tarp, but the building was several miles outside of town and in the middle of nowhere. He needed to at least double check and if he found anything his first call would be to the state police. He’d have to explain why he was trespassing on someone else’s property while off duty, but he had a feeling the troopers would simply be happy to bust one of the many drug rings that had cropped up in the area recently.

Lifting the tarp, he found himself praying this wasn’t really like a moment in a horror movie, that there wasn’t a dead body underneath, even a dead animal.

“Be a man, McGee,” he told himself. “Lift the tarp. Also, stop talking to yourself. This is getting weird.”

He lifted the tarp gingerly and peeked under. It only took one look to know he had to pull the tarp all the way off while reaching in his pocket for his phone.

“State Police Barracks, Benford County, Trooper Banfield speaking.”

“Hey, Officer Matt McGee from the Spencer Police Department here. I need to be transferred to Trooper McCallister, drug unit.”

 

***

Olivia had been home a week now and Ginny still hadn’t been able to pin her down and get a straight answer about whether she’d dropped out of college or not. Every time she tried to ask Olivia waved and said, “Going to meet up with Melody” or Avery, or Trish, or one of her other many friends who were still living in Spencer. Ginny was determined to corner her daughter today.

She heard footsteps on the stairs as she placed two plates on the table, one with vegan pancakes and some kind of vegan sausage, the other with bacon, eggs, and a waffle.

“Hey, Liv. I made you breakfast.” She called the words out before her daughter could slip out the door.

Olivia peeked into the kitchen. “Thanks, Mom, but I —”

“Sit down, Olivia.” Ginny pointed at the chair opposite hers. “You’ve been avoiding me all week. It’s time we talked. I even made vegan food for you. It took me 20 minutes to figure out which fake sausage to get so you’re going to at least sit down long enough to eat it.”

Oliva sighed as she entered the kitchen and sat. Her gestures as she begrudgingly picked up a fork reminded Ginny of when her daughters had been teenagers and had tried to skip breakfast so they could slip out early and meet up with the boys they liked. Oliva had used to meet up with Brent, before she decided he was “too small town” for her.

Ginny stirred creamer into her coffee. She usually didn’t have coffee but this morning she decided she needed the extra pick me up. She’d made sure to add only half a cup of coffee so she could fill the rest with creamer and sugar. “Time for some tough talk. Did you drop out of college or are you on an extended break?”

Oliva kept her eyes on her plate. She pushed the pancakes around her plate, soaking up the syrup.

“You need to tell me the truth.” Ginny prodded her daughter, knowing she needed an answer so she could decide how they would break the news to Stan without him having an aneurysm.

“Fine.” Oliva rolled her eyes toward the ceiling. “I dropped out.”

Ginny took a deep breath to keep herself calm. “Why?”

“I told you. California just isn’t for me anymore. I don’t even know what I’m doing there. I’m wasting your money by working toward a degree that I don’t even know if I’m going to use anymore.”

“If you’re not going to get a degree then what are you going to do?”

Olivia shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”

“Olivia. Seriously?” Ginny tried to keep the anger she felt gnawing at her insides outside of her voice. “You can’t just drop out of school and —”

“How come you cut Liz Cranmer slack but not me?”

Ginny’s eyebrows raised. “Excuse me?”

“Dad says you’ve been hanging out with her for months now. What’s so great about her? She got knocked up by some jerk and everyone knows she was a total alchey and pill popper.”

“Olivia!” Ginny stared at her daughter in disbelief. “When did you become so judgmental? Is this how you learned to act out there? Liz has worked hard to get back on her feet. She’s a wonderful mother, she’s working toward a degree in social work through online courses, and she just took a job as the children’s librarian. Just because she made some mistakes in her past doesn’t mean she’s a horrible person.”

Oliva slid down in her seat and closed her eyes, wincing softly. “Yeah. I know. Sorry.” She let out a breath and looked up at her mom. “I don’t know where that came from.” She shrugged a shoulder. “I guess I’m jealous.”

“Of Liz?”

“Yeah. I mean, she’s had all your attention lately. You two have fun together. It’s like you replaced Liv with Liz. Dad said you watch movies together, go to lunch, attend art classes.” Oliva picked at the fringes on the cloth placemat under her plate. “You never did that stuff with me.”

Ginny set her fork down and set her hands under her chin. “I tried, Olivia. Maybe you’ve forgotten but you never wanted to be around me as a teenager. I embarrassed you. I would gladly have done all those things with you and would do them with you now if you wanted to. Liz needed some extra support. Things have been tense with her parents, she was trying to figure out how to be a new mom. I just wanted to help and, well, we do have fun together. She makes me forget that I’m a dried up old lady with a very dull life.”

Olivia scoffed. “Mom, you’re not a dried up old lady.” She reached across the table and covered her mom’s hand with hers. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Ginny waved a hand dismissively. “It’s probably just some midlife crisis thing. I’ll get over it eventually. In the meantime, I’ve enjoyed my time with Liz. If you’re going to be home for a while I’d love to have you join us when we go out or get together for a movie night.”

Olivia’s tone softened even more. “I’d love to, Mom.” For the first time in a long time Ginny heard sincerity in her voice.

“Don’t think that this conversation about you dropping out of school is over, though. You know how upset your dad is going to be. There will be conversations about what you’re going to do for a job, where you’re going to live.”

“Can’t I live here for now?”

“For now, but do you really want to be almost 21 and living at home with your parents?”

Olivia made a face. “Yeah. I didn’t think about that. Guess I better start making some real plans.”

The back door opened as the women finished their breakfast. Ginny noticed a flush to Stan’s cheeks as he strode across the kitchen and reached for the coffee pot. She raised an eyebrow as she and Oliva exchanged a look.

“Uh-oh.” Ginny mouthed the words.

“Hey, Dad. Busy morning already?”

“Hmm?” Stan reached for the creamer on the table. Ginny could tell he was distracted again. Probably thinking of another real estate deal. “Oh yeah. Busy.”

He sipped the coffee and cleared his throat. “Listen, I need to talk to you two and I don’t want you to go all crazy on me.”

Ginny’s muscles tensed around her neck like they usually did when Stan said he needed to talk. It was usually about a big property he was working selling or telling her he wouldn’t be able to attend this or that.

Stan sat at the table, the coffee mug cupped in his hands. “I wasn’t going to tell either of you about this, but then I thought about how you’d probably find out from someone else.” Ginny rubbed a hand against the back of her neck, trying to loosen the tightness and distract herself from the thoughts racing through her mind. “Last week when Matt and I went to that property, Matt discovered a stash of heroin.”

Olivia sat back in her chair, her eyebrows raised. “Whoa. Seriously? In Spencer Valley”

“Yes.” Stan stirred the creamer in the coffee and took another sip. “Matt says heroin has been big around here lately. It’s replaced meth as the dominant drug industry. He called the state police and I had to stay for questioning.” Stan starred into the cup of coffee for a few silent seconds as if waiting for a word of wisdom. “They called me in again this morning. I couldn’t offer them any information beyond what Matt and I saw, unfortunately. None of this has hit the papers yet, but I have a feeling it will soon. I just hope my name will be kept out of it.”

Ginny swallowed hard, her muscles even tighter now. “I’d never really thought about real estate being a dangerous job before.”

Stan grunted and stood. “It’s not. This is the first time I’ve ever encountered anything criminal in the 25 years I’ve been doing this job.”

Apparently, she wasn’t even permitted to worry about him now.

He opened a cupboard and reached for a travel mug to pour the rest of the coffee in. “I’ve got to head back to the office. I have two potential clients coming in.”

A small smile tugged at Olivia’s lips. “Dad, aren’t you worried the drug dealers will come after you?” Her voice quivered with a stifled laugh.

Ginny shot her a scowl. “This isn’t funny, Olivia. This could be really serious.”

Stan laughed. “Not that serious. They left the door to the building open and a tarp loosely covering them. Whoever is running this stuff obviously isn’t a criminal mastermain..” He pressed the lid down on the mug. “So, no. I’m not worried.” He headed toward the back door again. “I won’t be home for dinner but if you could make me a plate, that’d be great. See you both later.” He pointed at Olivia. “Especially you. We need to talk.”

Olivia slumped back against her seat. “Yeah, I knew that was coming.”

Ginny raised her hand. “Stan, wait. Keith is back in town and wants to know if we’d like to go out to dinner with him.”

Stan paused in the backdoor doorway, stepped back, and peered around the door. “Keith?” His eyebrow quirked questioningly. “Your old boyfriend Keith?”

“Yes. He’s moved back and running his business from a cabin a few miles out of town. He invited us to dinner on Thursday.”

Stan stepped back into the kitchen, brow furrowed. “When did you run into him?”

At the grocery store, at an art class, and outside the library.

She decided to pick just one. “At the grocery store a few weeks ago. So, what should I tell him?”

Stan looked above her head for a moment, frowned, and then nodded. “Yeah. I should be able to make that. Where at?”

“Antonio’s in Clarkston.”

“Yeah. I’ve heard that place is great. Sure. I’ll probably have to meet you two there. I have a meeting at six. Shouldn’t take more than a half an hour.”

“He suggested 6:30. I can ask him if 6:45 is okay.”

Stan shifted the travel mug to his other hand, a stack of papers under his arm. “Sounds great. I’m looking forward to it.”

Ginny cocked an eyebrow as he walked through the doorway, then narrowed her eyes. Well, that was interesting. He’d been saying he was too busy for anything she suggested for months now. One mention of dinner with Keith and he could make it? What was that all about?