Jeannine Hall Gailey's Blog, page 83

How to Be a Poet: A Choose-Your-Own Adventure Story! and a new review for Unexplained Fevers

I often get asked for advice on “how to be a poet.” And just what does “being a poet” mean, anyway? Does it mean simply that you write (and publish) poetry? That you make a living from poetry in some way (good luck!) or that you have some validation in the form of fellowships, titles, grants, prizes, or what-have-you?

I’ve discovered that being a poet is a lot like those early 1980s “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. Sometimes you make a choice and you end up in a totally different place than you expected; sometimes you accidentally do something right (or wrong) and advance in a way you couldn’t have foreseen.

For instance, when you are sending your work out, you can:

–Choose to send to only one or two very exclusive magazines for five years, and land nothing but rejection. Go back three spaces.–Or, start with smaller literary magazines, one poem gets published in ‘Tiny Obscure Review” and makes it onto Verse Daily and into the Pushcart anthology – forward four spaces!

See what I mean? And when you’re sending your book out:

–You send to very expensive contests, end up spending your rent money on book contest fees, lose your lease, end up on the streets. Or…

–Send your book to “open admission” venues, end up with a good small press…but the press folds and your book goes out of print. Or…

–Send your book to a well-known press, they end up taking it, but they do no promotion, never pay you royalties,  refuse to answer your e-mails, and the book goes nowhere

–You get lucky, your book gets taken by a contest or a highly reputable press, the book gets great promotion and press, and you end up winning a ton of prizes, the Whiting Award, move to New York City and teach at a prestigious school, and have presses lined up anxiously for your next book! (This last has actually happened to people, trust me. Just not to very many people.)

Or…

Most of the time we are making choices that feel random and feel like they are having random results, which can be not only frustrating but bring on a kind of nihilistic depression that I have seen a lot of poets fall into.

Right now the “choose your own adventure” place I am at is…what to do for a living, you know, for money. Do I:

–Adjunct? Work at a non-profit? Get a job writing for money, like ad copywriting or tech writing, again? If I do blank, will I end up too stressed out and sick to write? If I do blank other, will I constantly feel anxious that I don’t have enough money or enough time to write? When is volunteering a good thing and when are you overdoing it?

Many poets survive on a combination of part-time, usually adjunct, teaching work, tiny reading honorariums, freelance writing, and odd jobs. We don’t mostly make money on publishing our poetry, because there’s not enough of an audience to make that happen. Which is sad. Some poets turn to writing erotica, romance novels, teen or children’s books, etc…just so they can stay afloat, not because it’s their passion. Some poets, but a minority, get those tenure-track teaching jobs (an ever-shrinking pool, I’m afraid, especially if you’re female, because studies have shown women are much lesss likely to get tenure than men…) and end up spending a lot of time teaching and in staff meetings and again, little time writing. I can see all the webs to possible futures stretching out…but none of the webs feels totally right for me. So I’m at a loss for the next step, the next adventure. Being Poet Laureate of Redmond this last year has meant a lot of community work, which can be satisfying, but has left me without a lot of time for writing or sending out work…so it fulfills some of my ideas about what I want to do with my life, but also has drawbacks. It’s hard to decide on choice A or B or C without knowing for certain what the outcome will be…You can see how this post connects with my last post of self-care and self-pity – as poets doing what we love isn’t always practical, but if we want to prioritize it, we usually have to give something else up – so how do we continue pursuing a passion in a way that doesn’t make us sick or discouraged or so poor we can’t afford our expensive medical treatments, etc? I don’t want to just complain or feel unhappy with the life I’ve forged for myself as a writer, I want to embrace something new that will be both fulfilling and practical, if there is such a future out there for me. I hope so!

In unrelated news, thanks to Jessie Carty and Wild Goose Poetry Review for this lovely second official review of Unexplained Fevers! It’s tough to get attention for poetry out there, and most poetry reviewers are volunteering their time to do this kind of work, so thank you to everyone involved!

http://wildgoosepoetryreview.wordpress.com/2013/05/13/jessie-carty-review-of-jeannine-hall-gaileys-unexplained-fevers/

Mother’s Day and its Lessons and revelations re: Self-Pity Versus Self-Care

Stay with me. It will all come together.

I used to get really twitchy on Mother’s Day. In my twenties, it was because I resented the existence of a guilt-based holiday that was supposed to be a feminist, anti-war holiday before it got co-opted by governments and corporations (and look that up! The true origins of Mother’s Day are fascinating.) In my thirties, it was because of the “can’t have kids” thing – it just made me miserable to be celebrating something I could never be. See? Self-pity and anger-based stuff, right?

But I’ve started having revelations since I turned 40, just like everyone told me I would. One of them was – I can celebrate Mother’s Day with no resentment or guilt or feelings of loss these days. My mom wasn’t perfect, but she taught me several important operating principles of my life, including:

All mythologies and religions come from a collective subconscious. (Not sure who taught her Jung and Campbell, but it sure stuck with her and she taught it to me when she was still reading me nursery rhymes.)The most important thing about any religion, and specifically, Christianity, is love. To love other people. Which, you know, if you’ve read the Bible, pretty much checks out.Never go into the kitchen, because you might not escape. (And consequently, I’ve never cooked much. And my husband is thinking of putting together a cookbook! So, it all works out.) And in terms of housework, it’s important to be clean (as in germs) but not neat, so embrace the messy. Let the children and animals on the good furniture, throw a party every once in a while and don’t worry if the house isn’t perfect as long as the bathrooms are sparkling, etc.

I had this other revelation: you cannot control other people and they all have free will. Hmmm.

And this third: I was reading a British magazine that had a short article in it about the practice of self-pity, which it seems women encourage each other in the practice of, versus the practice of self-care, which is much more healthy. Instances of this would include – doing something smart about the people you choose to date instead of whining to your girlfriends about your boyfriends all being jerks, and considering why you’ve decided on the guys or girls you’ve decided on in the past in the first place. Quitting a job you hate and actively searching for a new one instead of constantly complaining about it to others, who will only absently pat you on the back for a while before they lose interest anyway. If you have health problems, um, as I have been known to have, do the smart things for your health – take the medications you’re supposed to take, do the type of exercise (or, in my case, the type of rest from exercise) you’re supposed to do, eat the things that make you feel good rather than things that make you feel bad. You know what I’m saying. Get your sleep instead of staying up worrying all the time about stuff you can’t change (see previous revelation.) Read a book for fun once in a while, do something that feeds your brain and soul, go to a museum, walk in a park. If you’re on the computer or your smartphone all the time, get away from them for a bit every day. This all sounds like sensible, rational advice, right? But the article I read pointed out how our culture – via books, television characters, other women’s behavior – kind of encourages women to tell other women “It’s all right, it’s not your fault your job/boyfriend/life/money situation sucks” when really, that’s not helping – there’s usually something that needs to change and until it changes, you, my friend, will remain miserable. Huh. For some reason this article hit me with a real punch.

So, for me, this means – instead of whining about not having enough money, I’m going to seek out better-paying work. Instead of feeling like poetry is killing me – (I possibly took too much on in the last year, which leads to this kind of burnout) – I want to enjoy poetry again. I want to spend time with people I enjoy spending time with, and I want to make good friends a priority again. Spending time doing things I actually want to do instead of what I feel I have to do. Resting when my body tells me to rest (like, if you dislocate a rib or sprain an ankle, genius, you probably aren’t resting enough.) Prioritizing health stuff even when it’s a pain in the ass to do it (yes, make that dentist appointment.) Spend more time with animals and in nature. You know, self-care versus self-pity. It seems like Mother’s Day is a good day to kick off this kind of thinking, doesn’t it? Because in the end, we all have to learn to “mother/nurture” ourselves.

Looking for something to do with mom tomorrow? Come to VALA 3:30 PM Saturday for a Once Upon a Time Poetry and Art Show!

Where? VALA Art Center at Redmond Town Center (next to the Starbucks on the lower level)

When? Saturday, May 11th at 3:30

Who? Readers include:
Jeannine Hall Gailey, reading from her new fairy tale poetry book, Unexplained Fevers
Plus Fairy Tale poems read by local poets:

Kelly Davio
Laura Lee Bennett
Pamela Denchfield
Rebecca Woods Meredith
Dawn-Marie Oliver
Liz Hayden

and fairy tale art from Tacoma artist Michaela Eaves! Plus VALA’s new ceramics show!

Serving champagne, sparkling juice, sparkling water, an assortment of appetizers from Matt’s (a lovely little Redmond Town Center dining spot) and Glenn-made gluten-free chocolate cupcakes with pink pomegranate frosting.

Who should come? Everyone, especially girls who just want to have fun and celebrating mothers of every sort! And anyone who likes art and poetry in Redmond! And anyone who has ever said, there’s an arts center in Redmond? Yes there is!

First official review of Unexplained Fevers, two new blog reviews, and this Saturday’s magical poetry event!

The first official review is out! Thank you to Savvy Verse & Wit, for their review of Unexplained Fevers, found here:

http://savvyverseandwit.com/2013/05/unexplained-fevers-by-jeannine-hall-gailey.html

I was also really thankful and happy with two other reviews, this time blog reviews, by Karen Weyant and Donna Miscolta:

Karen says Unexplained Fevers is her May poetry pick, and that: “This is Gailey’s third collection, and in many ways, she is returning to the stories she started in her first book, Becoming the Villainess.  Indeed, her poetic heroines have grown stronger through the years.  Where there once was hesitancy with her narrators, there is now more self-assurance.  Her female characters don’t pretend to be perfect — they only want to be human.” Read the rest of the review here.

Donna Miscolta, a talented fiction writer, reviews my book as well as Kelly Davio’s Burn This House here: http://donnamiscolta.com/2013/05/06/unexplained-fevers-and-burn-this-houseblisteringly-good-poetry/

We’ve had a string of sunny days and high temperatures, a combo in Seattle that’s typically not great for poetry activities, during which I’ve been feverishly planning for this Saturday’s big (and possibly one of the last) Redmond Poet Laureate events for me.

It’s called “Once Upon a Time,” at VALA art center in the Redmond Town Center, and starts at 3:30 on May 11th. (Readings will start at 4 PM.) Besides a bit of reading from my new book, there will also be featured local poets including the former and first Poet Laureate of Redmond, Rebecca Meredith, and Laura Lee Bennett, Elizabeth Hayden, Kelly Davio, Pamela Denchfield, and Dawn-Marie Oliver, as well as a small fairy-tale related art show by Tacoma artist Michaela Eaves. I’ve ordered catering, champagne and sparkling juice, and am thinking about things like chairs, easels, and hoping that I can get some East side folks to ditch the outdoors for a couple of hours and enjoy some art and poetry.

I’m doing a bit of soul searching to figure out what I want to try and do in the next year, something maybe a lot of people are doing right now. Do I want to take some time off and write, or, do the opposite – try to jump back into better paying work, maybe more serious amounts of freelance writing and editing? Do I want to do more non-profit art community work in a wider setting? What should my goals be at this point? Applying for grants, focusing on my next two book manuscripts, taking time to promote the current book, reviewing more or less?
I’ve also, what with all the health crises in my family, been thinking about – what’s really important to me? What kind of activities improve the quality of my life? Should I be daring more, or being more careful with my health? Should I be seeking out opportunities to make new friends and get to know more of the terrific but splintered poetry community in the Northwest, or seek to spend more time with old friends? Well, if you have any life advice for me, leave it in the comments. It’s strange to look at being forty, at having three (!!) poetry books published and two more (!!!) in process, to have spent a year trying to serve my community as a poet instead of just “being a poet” and thinking about the lessons it has taught me, thinking about mortality and family issues and all that mid-life stuff. I went to sleep last night listening to Joseph Campbell talk about “The Hero’s Journey” – a terrific DVD if you can find it at your local library, particularly if you’re a Star Wars fan as it has some clips with George Lucas.

Reading Report from Jack Straw, More Family Matters, and Spring Brings Some Serious Pondering

Friday’s reading at Jack Straw, just a day or so from the May Day violence downtown and on the same night as readings by legends like Rae Armantrout and Kwame Dawes (both of whom I was genuinely sorry to miss!)…well, let’s just say my expectations for audience were modest, especially considering the mild sunny weather, nearly perfect. But no – it was packed! I even saw some old friends I hadn’t seen in a while who decided to come out, which was great. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed listening to the other Jack Straw readers, in particular poet Emily Perez who read fairy tale poems and a really touching tribute to her father.

Unfortunately, I had new bad news about my family that night – this time, the wife and stepson of one of my older brothers were in a car accident while I was at the reading and strangely, they also diagnosed my sister-in-law, because of the x-rays, with pretty advanced pneumonia. My parents – including my mom, who has just gone through her own health crisis – went to the hospital to help out. Yikes! Any good thoughts directed towards my family would be appreciated.

And thank goodness for Saturday clinic hours – I ended up at the doctor’s yesterday, on a beautiful blooming May Saturday at 75 degrees, diagnosed with yet another respiratory infection. I do end up sick after readings quite a bit, it seems. But it didn’t stop me from going out on some wonderful strolls looking at goslings under willow trees, little new baby rabbits (or “minibuns” – which makes them sound delicious, doesn’t it?) and the now-fading blossoms of lilac and cherry and apple in Woodinville and Redmond. I figure, my by-now shredded nerves worrying about my family needed a little distraction. I haven’t been able to write much the last week and have thought about things like, should I have my parents move in with me, or close to me, as they get older? Can I help take care of them? Is it irresponsible of me to try to be a poet in a time when money is so tight? Yet, this kind of angst seems wrong in such beautiful weather…

Hope you all had a wonderful Star Wars day and free comic book day yesterday, and today, a lovely Cinco de Mayo!

Big Poetry Giveaway Winner, Jack Straw this Friday, Worries among May flowers

The winner of the Big Poetry Giveaway of Unexplained Fevers and a copy of Rattle is Renee Emerson of Hyacinths & Biscuits. Congrats Renee! Hope you enjoy them! I’m also sending off a copy of my book to British Columbia for the Goodreads Giveaway.

I’ve just about recovered from Sunday’s reading and party, had a day after of being really sick, just got my voice back today, and started thinking about planning the next reading. This one will be for the Jack Straw Writers Program, this Friday, May 3rd, in downtown Seattle at 7 PM. I’m reading with three other Jack Straw writers, which should be fun.

Then, on May 11th, the final Poet Laureate event of the season at VALA art center, called “Once Upon a Time” – it’ll be a reading with a bunch of talented local poets and an art show by the lovely and talented Michaela Eaves. Plus a champagne reception! Read more about it here:

http://www.valaeastside.org/once-upon-a-time-a-poetry-reading-art-display-and-reception

In more personal news, my biggest worry the last week hasn’t been about poetry at all – it’s been about my mom, who seems to have had a transient ischemic mini-stroke last week. Her stress test and other tests have come back clean in the last few days, which is great, but I just wish I lived a little closer to her so I could check in on her in person. She’s otherwise pretty healthy, so I’m hoping this was just a strange aberration, but it was an unwelcome surprise – I guess that’s what happens when you turn 40, you don’t just realize your own mortality but also the mortality of your loved ones.

Meanwhile, outside spring is blooming with extra frills – cherry and apple blossoms all over town, a layer of planted-last-fall double-pink tulips in front of our little townhouse, sun and red-winged blackbirds chirpings. It’s supposed to get up to 80 this weekend, a little glimpse of early summer in our usually gloomy Northwest corner. It seems contrary to focus on worries in these surroundings, but I’m finding it hard to concentrate on anything else. I’m feeling grateful for phone calls from friends and family far and near the last few days, the distractions of writing and reading, and a husband who has been working hard to cheer me up this last week. Even my cats have been extra friendly. So I will resolutely keep my mind on good things, on hope and peace and lean against anxiety, discouragement, fatigue, fear.

Reading Report from Open Books, Poems in Pirene’s Fountain, Jack Straw Reading this Friday!

I’m happy to report that yesterday’s reading – my first for the new book – with Kelly Davio at Open Books went really well. And Glenn, my wonder-husband, set up a surprise 40th birthday for me afterwards at a nearby restaurant with 20 of my nearest and dearest. It was really wonderful but now I have completely lost my voice! Ha! The crowd for the reading was not only healthy in size but included some old friends I rarely get to see and some new faces, and was really warm and supportive, and Kelly was a great reader – full of energy and combustion. The interesting thing about this first reading from the  new book was how the characters in the poems sort of possessed me – I was angry when I read one character’s poems, sad when I read another’s, etc. It occurred to me that some of my persona poems might be taking on their own life, which I am just channeling when I read. I don’t remember that happening with my other books, but maybe it did!
My friends – based on their Facebook posts – may have better pictures from the reading than I do, but here are a few with my reading partner Kelly Davio, poets Kelli Russell Agodon, Kathleen Flenniken, and Raul Sanchez, who were among the warm and wonderful aforementioned crowd members.

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks to Pirene’s Fountain, where I have a few new poems up (including two from Unexplained Fevers:)

http://pirenesfountain.com/poetry/gailey.html

It’s a wonderful issue so if you have time read the whole thing.

And,  I have another reading on Friday May 3rd at 7 PM with the Jack Straw Writers – which you can read more about here. 

It’s a great group to read with and if you haven’t been out to the Jack Straw building downtown, it’s fascinating – a recording/studio space and a reading space and rooms where they teach artists, writers, and other creative types how to record and perform on the radio. Pretty cool!

 

An online interview with Joanne Merriam, Tomorrow’s Reading, and Advice from the Pages of Grimm’s

Hope you are all planning to come out to Open Books tomorrow to me and Kelly Davio read at 3 PM. It should be some fun! Kelly is a terrific reader and I promise to be extra fun.

A new interview with me by Joanne Merriam is up at her web site here:
http://www.joannemerriam.com/2013/04/26/intermittent-visitors-jeannine-hall-gailey/

She asks about some of the inspirations for Unexplained Fevers, and I included this tidbit about how some of the poems came about:

“It’s not hard to imagine Sleeping Beauty as a drug addict, or Snow White as someone with chronic fatigue syndrome, when you’re spending a lot of time in hospitals.”

Here’s a poem from Unexplained Fevers called “Advice From the Pages of Grimms’:”

Advice Left Between the Pages of Grimms’ Fairy Tales

Life in not a fairy tale, and this isn’t your pumpkin coach.
You’re not lost in some magic wood,
and that blood on your hands isn’t from an innocent stag
at all. Princess, remember to fill your pockets
with more than bread crumbs, and
if you can’t sleep don’t blame the legumes
beneath the sheets. One look at that glass coffin
they’ve set up for you should tell you
everything you need to know about their intentions.
Remember a lot of girls end up dismembered, and
every briar rose has its thorn.
Forget the sword and magic stone,
forget enchantments and focus on the profit margin,
the hard line. Read the subtext.

 

Tulip Therapy After a Tough Week and Upcoming First Reading for Unexplained Fevers

Dear Readers,

Now that my passwords are all reset and my mother is safely out of the hospital and recovering, I am able to relax a bit and get back to concentrating on things like poetry, books, etc. Yesterday my husband snuck me out of town and took me up the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival, where we had glorious warm sunny weather (for April, a 70 degree sunny day is fairly unusual here, so we had to take advantage of it) and got to see a lot of flowers. Want to see a picture? Here are three!

See? Isn’t that better that staying home worrying? This was one of the biggest spring-birthday-month rituals – driving out to see the tulips, stopping in our favorite gluten-free bakery and farmer’s market and little bookshops and stores – I missed when I lived in California, so I try to go every year now. Besides, this Windmill picture will probably be the closest I get to Holland!

 

Now, all you Seattle friends, notice that this Sunday is my first Seattle reading for my third book, Unexplained Fevers, just out from New Binary Press! I’m reading with the esteemed and talented Kelly Davio (pictured below – I’m standing with her book next to the bear) at Open Books, Seattle’s Wallingford-located all-poetry bookstore, at 3 PM. Don’t be late! It’s the end of poetry month and I think we should all embrace fun and springtime and all that is good in the world…

Hacked and Mom in the hospital

Dear friends,

I apologize if you got any strange e-mails from me in the last 24 hours – one of my e-mails was compromised – the password was changed but should be fixed now – and I probably didn’t get your e-mails if you sent them in the last days. Of course, if you got anything suspicious from me yesterday, do not click on any of the links. And again, I know I missed some e-mails from people, so if you sent me anything in the last 24 hours or so, you might want to re-send.

I’d also like to ask for your thoughts for my mom who is normally pretty healthy and spunky, who is currently in the hospital with possibly serious heart problems and also possible pneumonia. I can’t go out to see her in Ohio because I’ve been running a high fever for a week and it wouldn’t be good to expose mom to more germs…but I’m awfully worried. So far this April has not been shaping up to be stellar, would be my understatement.