Jeannine Hall Gailey's Blog, page 75

Attempting to Practice What I Talked About in my Previous Blog Post…

Yes, as normally happens the day after New Year’s, it is difficult to stand by our lofty goals, even if they are not in resolution form. The day after I wrote that last post, I went into panic mode because of multiple deadlines, but being a little under the weather (head-cold? allergies? post-holiday lethargy?) everything just felt long and difficult, like I was banging my head against a wall. Watching a video on how to apply for a fellowship? Filling out said fellowship application? Trying to write a useful article? All of these goals seemed frustrating and frustrated.

So today, in the spirit of opening my life to more joy, inspiration, blah blah, I went out to my favorite little Seattle gallery, Roq La Rue, to see their exhibition that’s closing. There was some beautiful work by John Brophy, and my favorite one was titled something like “The Light of Genius,” where an enigmatic figure watches a lightningbug whose trail has a physics/mathematics equation on it:

Which reminded me of what we are all doing as artist – looking for a little light, a little inspiration. Isn’t that a great piece?

And then Glenn and I did a little post-holiday sale scavenging at the downtown Anthropologie and found some neat half-price stuff, including polar bear measuring cups and an adorable hedgehog tea towel. This, you understand, is not necessary, but it does make the kitchen area feel more cheerful! (We also think we saw Emilie de Ravin from Lost there. But we weren’t sure!)

  Anyway, this made me feel positive-y enough to be able to complete my formally challenging fellowship application instead of torturing myself further, and now I can move on to finish my article (for which I have already obtained two wonderful quotes!) hopefully by the rapidly approaching deadline and then on to other assignments like my reviews etc.

It does remind me I am more efficient when, instead of kind of muscling my way through difficult tasks, when it’s not happening, take a break, squint into the sunlight, eat something chocolatey or fruity or something happy, and then go back in and finish. It just puts things into perspective.

Welcoming in 2014!

Good morning and Happy New Year and Rose Parades to you! Last night was one of the first times in a long time I was well enough to really celebrate New Year’s Eve, and we had the almost perfect set-up – an early dinner with friends, then home to watch the ball drop and make a toast. It was really fun to be able to be out and about, in a cool restaurant with great new friends. (I can fully recommend the salted caramel milkshake and the delightful airy (and gluten-free) tempura-esque eggplant wedges at new restaurant The Tipsy Cow, which also had really nice service, a rarity in the Seattle area!) Oh, and thanks to Karen Weyant for putting Unexplained Fevers on her best of 2013 books list!

So, I’m thinking about what we invite – and don’t invite – into our lives in 2014. I’m not much for new-agey-self-help, but I do think that it can’t hurt to invite in good things and close the door on the bad.

So, instead of resolutions, here’s what I’m inviting into my life in 2014:

–Spending more time with people I like – writers, friends, family.

–Doing things that actually make me feel happy – music, art galleries, visiting bookstores, going to the woods and muontains, maybe even some dancing if my ankles can hold up.

–Writing!

–Health – and I know more than most that only so much of our health situation is under our control -but I want to embrace doing good things for our bodies, appropriate sleep, gentle exercise, food that tastes good and is good for us. Don’t focus so much on the stuff that’s wrong with me, and more on the things I can do and enjoy.

–Letting good opportunities come to me, instead of scrambling so much. (Maybe scrambling is part of the writing life, but I want to do less of it this year.) More thankfulness for the good things I have.

–A better balance between paid and unpaid work, and the opportunity to do work I genuinely enjoy.

–More book awards and money (crossing fingers!)

–More Good News of all types!

–More day trips!

Things I’m closing the door on from 2013:

–Stressing out over things that just aren’t that important.

–Making work the priority over fun, relationships, writing, health, happiness.

–So much time at the doctor’s offices.

–Letting negative emotions rule my days – frustration, jealousy/comparisons, general grumpiness.

What are you inviting into your 2014? What are you ushering out the door?

Happy New Year! Year in Review + some recent fun stuff

Happy Approaching New Year, everyone! Yes, everyone is taking stock of 2013, which was quite hard for a lot of people for a lot of reasons, including a down economy and some just weird bad luck. Everyone is making lists and resolutions. Before that, I had two little pieces of news I wanted to share about my third book: Serena of Savvy Verse and Wit was kind enough to place Unexplained Fevers on her best books of 2013 list; a new review of Unexplained Fevers appears in the new issue of The Pedestal.

Some good things happened for me in 2013: my third book, Unexplained Fevers, came out in the spring from New Binary Press; I worked as Redmond’s Poet Laureate, and I got to be a Jack Straw Writer, all pretty cool. I was lucky enough to be published in some really exciting places, including Poet’s Market 2014. Creatively, I wrote my first real short fiction pieces, worked on finishing a fifth poetry manuscript, and seem to be close to finding a home for my fourth, The Robot Scientist’s Daughter. (Fingers crossed!) I made new friends as part of the outreach I did as Poet Laureate, too, which was probably the best thing about that job, including poets, editors, teachers, and artists I would never have met otherwise.

The bad? Well, trying to build a poetry community on the fairly stubbornly non-literary East side of Seattle was harder (and way more discouraging and energy-consuming) than I expected; I spent at least six months tracking down and getting tested for autoimmune/neurological issues, including un-fun things like blood tests, expensive MRIs and shock tests and discovered I had some permanent neurological problems that I have to deal with (although I am on intensive b12 therapy, which seems to be helping); spent lots of time in physical therapy painstakingly trying to build back up my brain’s connections to my tendons and muscles (still a work in progress) so I wouldn’t keep tripping, spraining, falling, and tearing things and would be able to walk without a cane or a wheelchair; I didn’t have much time to write or see friends, both of which are very important to my inner self’s happiness.

So, for 2014, my resolutions are fairly low-key: I want to refocus on writing, on friendships, on feeding my creative self and treat myself in general with more respect and care (re: autoimmune issues, which are a real bitch if you don’t have an “off” switch – I’m still trying to find mine!) I’m thinking about going back to doing freelance writing as a way of bringing in income, rather than doing as much editing (see this article on why being a freelance editor can be tremendously trying rather than rewarding) and of course I’d like to do some preparation for upcoming big Seattle events, such as Seattle’s hosting of AWP and the Skagit River Poetry Festival. I think I’d like to start getting paid on a regular basis for my book reviews and maybe some essays (also see this fine interview with Stephen Burt on poetry book reviewing.) I’m thinking hard about how to do the most effective book promotion for the next one, as book promotion has changed so much in the last few years. I want to read a little bit more for fun. In general, I feel like I’m hoping for unexpected good things to happen in 2014. That’s what 2014 will be about: writing, friends, and hope!

In the spirit of celebrating fun and friendship, some photos from the last few weeks hanging out with poets and artsts I really like, holiday lights, trees, merrymaking, etc. Happy New Year! May it all be merry and bright!

Feeling Grateful after a Stressful Year – and Try to Catch the Magic

It’s hard work trying to be aware of the tiny magic around us all the time. Right now, it’s cranberry meringue pies in the oven and MST3K’s “Santa Conquers the Martians” on television. My cat upside down on my stack of books, tamales in the fridge for tomorrow.

This time of year can be stressful. I tend to want everything to be peaceful, perfect, easy. But at least one or two things can trip us up. Today was sunshiney, very strange for December in Seattle, I ran outside with wet hair and just stood in a cold sunbeam for five minutes.

I was talking to my little brother in Thailand on the phone late tonight and was telling him about my year, and realized though I had really felt terrible for much of this last year, my perception was that I was stressed and sick, that a lot of good things had happened, I just had never slowed down long enough to count my blessings, or I was so distracted by the bad/things that went wrong that I just missed the magic completely.

But I have a lot to be grateful for this December. Not just reconnecting with family and friends (though I love that holiday getting-back-in-touch squishiness) or presents in the mail. Even in the last couple of days – this morning I learned my newest manuscript, with poems about the end of the world and sciency stuff, is a finalist in a book contest, that New Binary Press released Unexplained Fevers as a PDF e-book especially for the holidays, and Two Sylvias Press just sent me the pdf proof of the re-issue print version of She Returns to the Floating World (which will be available soon – we’re just putting on the finishing touches!) The feeling of relief after months of testing I had with the hotshot neurologist told me he was 99.9 percent sure I didn’t have MS even if I did have some weird neuro stuff we could treat, when the immunologist said “You’re doing so much better, we can delay (X experimental immunological treatment.)” All my brothers are employed in jobs they like, my parents are feeling happier than I’ve seen them in a long time, and I’m going to try to rediscover my own joy. In writing, in my friendships and marriage, in work – I want to do more of what I love and worry less. Literally, my only 2014 resolutions are to stress myself out less (usually whatever I’m worried about is less catastrophic than I thought,) to be kinder to my body (rest when I need to rest, otherwise my immune system will force the issue, so…that’s a lesson I keep relearning) and to look out for the magic that’s constantly around, instead of focusing on the mess.

Merry Merry Magic!

Snow Day and Merry Holiday Wishes

Woke up to snow this morning, which is surely making the children of Seattle very happy as they will have a much-beloved (and rare, here) Snow Day! As for me, I’m just happy my husband had the foresight to mail off all our Christmas packages late yesterday! I’ve got hot gluten-free blueberry crumbcake muffins in the oven and nowhere important to be, as well as a stack of good books to review (new Rachel Zucker and Natalie Diaz’s When My Brother Was an Aztec.) Outside my window at 7 AM I already here the happy shrieks of kids playing in the very picturesque (and probably gone by noon) white stuff.

I was happy to see Natalie Diaz read a couple of days ago courtesy of local publisher Copper Canyon and really enjoyed hearing her voice. We’re a lucky city in terms of who we get coming to town to read, I think.

This holiday I am grateful for the following: being able to walk, being able to eat more foods without sudden anaphylaxis fits, a great group of creative and encouraging friends, a husband who is better at domestic stuff than I am (I think he baked about a hundred Christmas cookies for various friends’ gift bags!), a family who is for the most part healthy and happy (even if some of them are on different continents right now) and a feeling of hope for 2014. How about you? I am wishing you all a very merry holiday!!

From “Community” “That’s What Christmas is For:” (“Thanks, Lost!”)

Being a Jerk Versus Playing Nice – a Christmas Message

So, I just got done with a nice Christmas visit with my folks, who flew out here from Ohio for the holidays. We celebrated an early Christmas, and we had a surprisingly artsy visit: we went to our local art center, VALA, to watch painters at work and fabric artists, went to Woodinville’s Lavender farm to try artisan gluten-free macaroon cookies by a new Redmond bakery and lavender tea, went to small independent shops to get treasures for our family members, as well as the Zoo’s gift shop and the Microsoft store for toys for the nieces and nephews (future scientists and techies, I’m sure of it.) The parents were excited to take pictures of me with the Erratic sculpture (to be found on the railroad tracks near Redmond Town Center) that I wrote a couple of poems about for the city of Redmond as their Poet Laureate. I read my folks one of my new pieces of short fiction, which was fun to get reader responses to. We talked about books, and read a little of that “Outliers” book out loud. My artist friend Michaela Eaves (who happened to do the cover art for my first and third books) came over to visit with my folks for a bit. It was fairly low-key but really pretty cheerful, and we even had a tiny sliver of blue sky a couple of days (as good as it gets in Seattle in December.) While they were here, I had a couple of good pieces of poetry news, as well. It was nice to be able to celebrate that stuff with someone who cared (thanks, Verse Daily!) And thanks to those who have been buying my books to give as holiday gifts – I love that!

Anyway, tonight, after my parents are safely on their plane back to Ohio, I’m going over the water on a ferry to celebrate the holidays with some of my writer friends, and I’m really looking forward to it. These are writers I’ve been going to a writer’s group with for over a decade, and the whole time, we’ve looked out for each other, cheered each other on, encouraged one another with book manuscripts and dealing with rejections. I was also thinking about the writers I’ve found on the internet who share some of my health struggles, how helpful it’s been, and the kind of bond that creates, being open about stuff like that and talking “shop.”

It made me think about an article that’s been making the rounds about the advantages of being, well, not so nice in academia, and the rules probably apply to the poetry world as well: http://thesiswhisperer.com/2013/02/13/academic-assholes/  To summarize, the article talks about how though people see people who are clever but nasty to others – insulting them, trash talking behind their back, making snide comments in public forums like conferences – are seen as unlikable but cleverer and more effective at their jobs. Now, you might not expect this from someone who wrote a book called Becoming the Villainess, but really, it’s not just an issue of a moral or feminist nature or whatever, but it’s something I believe we can change.

I know that most of my writer friends strive to do the opposite – to be positive in public about other writers as far as they are able, striving to avoid the gossipy backstabbing that can feel like a darker part of the writing world. (Of the sort demonstrated in Kelli Agodon’s post for Writer’s Market’s blog this morning, see here: http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/5-favorite-poetry-collections-kelli-russell-agodon) We tend to make friends with people whose poetry we like, which makes sense (some of my favorite poets in the Northwest have become friends over the years.) I feel like young women in particular, sadly, are often the victims of not only sexual harassment when they’re in grad school and at conferences, but also a kind of snide sideswiping that affects their self-esteem as writers. I mean, we never talk about male writers in terms of their asses and hair, but I hear men writers talk about women writers all the time that way. Sometimes the poetry world can feel very cold, I mean, just think of how many times we get doors slammed in our faces as a matter of course. I often tell my young writer friends they need to be very tough to keep going as a writer, but really, can’t we make a choice to try to make the poetry world a little warmer, a little friendlier? It’s a rough world, but we can make it a little less rough.

It made me think that I would definitely be on the side of, not fake niceness, not dishonesty, but a kind of positive cycle of encouragement and intelligent enthusiastic commentary that flies in the face of what we as writers are “supposed” to do – that is, trash other writers to get ahead. I just don’t believe that is a cycle that is in any way good to participate in. It’s Christmastime, after all, a time for charity, giving, hugs, presents, stuffed penguins under the tree and mistletoe. Even if you don’t celebrate Christmas, it’s the darkest, coldest time of the year – a time to break out the festive supplies, light a fire, eat some cake even if you’re on a low-carb diet. It’s a time to remember that kindness and intelligence don’t have to be opposing features in your personality; that lifting up someone else’s good work to the light doesn’t cast shadows upon your own. I love writing a positive review about a book I really love, or sending a note to someone whose work I’ve gotten a peculiar charge from.

I have a lot to be grateful for this season, coming from a couple of years when I’ve been struggling not only health issues, but things like the financial stress and depression that results from health struggles. This season I’m looking forward to the new year, to being someone who does some good, who has some fun at AWP and the Skagit River Poetry Festival, who gets people together, who points a spotlight at work she loves and doesn’t worry if that makes her look “less successful or effective.” I’ll save the snark for people who really deserve it Not to drag out a Bible verse, but hey, it is the root of a lot of good literature: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not understood it.” And as I believe the great prophet Linus said, “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.” (Now, tomorrow I’m going watch the Community episode “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas” – it’s one of the better Christmas episodes of any show ever, and it’s in stop-motion animation! Highly recommended, along with their episode making fun of Glee, “Regional Holiday Music.”)

“She Had Unexplained Fevers” on Verse Daily today, family visits and holiday thankfulness

Hooray! The title poem from my book, Unexplained Fevers, “She Has Unexplained Fevers” is featured on Verse Daily today! It’s the only poem I’ve ever written in the voice of a cranky dwarf (from the famous Seven Dwarfs, of course!) Thanks Verse Daily!

My parents are visiting from Ohio and instead of going crazy this holiday like I normally do I’m trying to stay thankful, centered, relaxed *at least some of the time. I’ve been wrapping presents and watching my fave holiday movies late into the night after my chores are done (so far: Christmas in Connecticut (the working girl holiday movie before there was Brigit Jones,) the original The Bishop’s Wife, Charlie Brown’s Christmas, etc), enjoying the constant smell of sugar cookies baking (we’ve been baking them to give as Christmas presents!) My friend and talented musician Matt Price sent me one of the best presents ever – he wrote and performed and recorded a song in the voice of the father character from my “Robot Scientist Daughter” poems, and I’m giving it to my Dad for Christmas (along with a little robot kit.) It’s such a funny song with a combination of disturbing humor and sentiment, that I laugh and get teary every time I hear it (I’ll share it when I get permission from the musician.) This is one of the many serendipities of working with other artists in unexpected ways, in this case, working with the Bushwick Book Club and Jack Straw. We’ve bought tickets to go see the Hobbit part II this weekend, which seems very much in keeping with the Hall family holiday traditions, such as they are. The lights and tree are up, our forty-degree-ish weather has returned after our cold snap, and plus, to brighten your holiday, this adorable leopard cub, courtesy of ZooBorns.com: http://www.zooborns.com/.a/6a010535647bf3970b019b025e8d30970c-popup. 

I’m feeling blessed and lucky in other ways too – this last few years my immune system has been so insane (hives, spontaneous anaphylaxis, etc) that I was about to start monthly injections of an experimental drug that shuts down the IgE system, (which, though I’m against GMO food and farming, would make me a GMO person!) but yesterday my immunologist doc said I was doing so much better we could hold off! I really have had improvements in my health, I’m not just imagining it! I love hearing that kind of news around the holidays! My big brother, little brother, and nephew all got great new jobs recently, which I’m also celebrating, as it’s still a dang hard time to find a good job these days. So I’m just going to say, I’m thankful. And also feeling very warm and fuzzy, much like that leopard cub.

 

 

 

A Tour of Gaileyland, a Reading Video, 2014 Goals, and a Poem on Verse Daily this week

After months of very little in the way of good poetry news of any sort, I’ve been inundated with news, mostly good news, things I want to be able to stop and be grateful for in the middle of the holiday hustle. (We’ve rearranged furniture, broken a microwave, built cabinets in the laundry room/pantry, got together a variety of Christmas presents, and restocked the upstairs bed and bath with necessities in the last few days…) So here are a few things:

Lesley Wheeler talks a little bit about her adventures in teaching, and I do mean adventures! Lesley had her class at Washington and Lee University produce this web site, Gaileyland, which is a travel-guide-type exploration of my book Becoming the Villainess. Pretty much the most creative and cool example of teaching a book of poetry in a way that won’t put students to sleep. The whole thing is hilarious; I particularly like the restaurant reviews.

In case you are interested, here’s a link to the text and the video from my reading on a 16 degree night for the Redmond Lights Celebration and dedication of the sculpture called “The Erratic” by John Fleming: http://redmondpoetry.blogspot.com/2013/12/video-and-poem-from-redmond-lights.html.  It was a fun night despite the bitter cold and a nice way to connect with the community there. I also found I really like doing ekphrastic poetry, so I hope I find a way to keep doing it!

I heard that Verse Daily will be featuring one of my poems, I think on Thursday. So keep an eye out!

After almost six months of just rejections, I’ve had four acceptances in the last week, which just reminds me that the writing life is very bipolar – months of nothing, then a week of good news! That’s the way it is, and why you have to grit your teeth and stick with it through the months of bad news. So you can be extra happy when all your good news comes in.

And I’m happy to say that the re-release in print by Two Sylvias Press of my second book, She Returns to the Floating World, should be out by the end of the month! More news on that when I get it! This version will have internal art by Michaela Eaves, so it’s worth getting just for that!

Oh, and if you’re doing any holiday shopping that includes poetry books, Kelli Agodon has a great list of her favorite poetry books of 2013 here, and I really like the list myself (not just because Unexplained Fevers is on the list, either – this resembles very closely my faves of 2013 as well!) So check that out!

My goals after the holidays include starting to be more determined in writing book reviews that pay (as opposed to the ones I do for free) and doing more freelance magazine writing queries. I used to really enjoy freelance writing, and I want to get back into the swing of that, just maybe slightly different kinds of journalism. I know quite a bit about allergy-friendly menu planning, or finding beauty products without wheat, and maybe that info will be interesting to others? I hope so! I feel better about myself when I’m contributing to the household incoming in whatever ways I can, even though, yes, I’m a poet. So that’s part of my goal-setting for 2014. What about you?

Holiday Readings, Redmond Lights, Parties, and Getting Ready for Visits from Family

Tonight I’m reading for the art dedication of a piece called “The Erratic” on the Redmond Connector Trail, at 6:30. I think the reading is actually outside, and there’s a luminary walk and hot chocolate booths and such for kids, and I believe the part that I’ll be a part of will last from 6:30 to 7 PM. Did I mention it’ll be outside and last night it was ten degrees outside! Ten degrees in Seattle! It’s the coldest I ever remember it being out here, I have to keep thawing out the hummingbird feeders. I’ve gone up to my “old clothes closet” to dig out: heaviest long winter coat, earmuffs, gloves, and I have to try to find something “festive” to wear for the reading that I won’t freeze in underneath. (The Ugg boots aren’t necessarily festive, but possibly a necessity!) The whole schedule for the Redmond Lights events tonight is here: http://www.redmondlights.com/events/

Last night I went out to see former editor of Poetry Northwest and current critic for The Rumpus David Biespiel do a reading at Open Books. Local luminaries like Linda Bierds (winner of one of those MacArthur Genius Grant) and Martha Silano were there, so that was fun, but it was so cold last night, and someone was coughing all the way through the reading, and I came home with a sore throat, so I’m drinking hot water and honey to fix that before tonight. Sometimes I have to remember to rest the night before a reading!

Did I mention tonight is also the husband’s annual Christmas party downtown? So it’s possible I will race home from the outdoor reading, change clothes, glam up, and head downtown to help the husband do networking and see what the company sprang for this year (in early years at the company, they used to splash out on smoked salmon and champagne and 80′s cover bands, but it’s been a while. Times are lean!)

In the middle of this, I am getting ready for a holiday visit from my parents, which means I am trying to decorate and clean the house and get the upstairs ready for visitors (we have a tiny Christmas tree for the upstairs!) and running around trying to put presents together for everyone (five nieces and nephews, five brothers and brother-in-laws, friends, the parents, various others…) It seems harder to shop this year as the sales weren’t very good and the quality on everything seems a little cheaper – probably due to the recession, shops are trying to make more profit.

Let’s see, I’ve been reading Donna Tartt’s new book The Goldfinch, which I think is horribly repetitive and the voice seems very phony, like she’s never even talked to a teenage boy in her life. It got praised up and down for its wonderful “Dickens-esque” character, but Dickens was more fun than this – and based on the plot, the book should be a lot more fun – art thievery, white trash living in Vegas, snobby Manhattan families, etc. I’m disappointed because I loved The Secret History so much, but I remembered I don’t always love everything by every author I like – I’m crazy about some AS Byatt books, for instance, but only “meh” about others. (And while Margaret Atwood continues to be one of my favorite writers, her latest sci-fi dystopian trilogy didn’t thrill me, either.) Perhaps I’ve become a tougher reader as I get older? One book I’m thrilled with so far is “A Poet’s Prose” – the prose writings of Louise Bogan, which makes a wonderful read along with the correspondence of Flannery O’Connor, because they discuss some of the same problems and write to some of the same people (although Louise was born first, she outlived Flannery by decades.) Even if you don’t love her poetry, you will probably love her letters – she’s sharp, gossipy, intelligent, passionate, someone you would have wanted to be friends with. It’s the kind of book I love to “happen upon” when I go to Open Books.

Happy December! Some Good News, and Asking for Good Thoughts

Well, six months with very little in the way of good news, then I got a ton of it the day after Thanksgiving!

New Binary Press has nominated my poem from Unexplained Fevers, “Once Upon a Time,” which first appeared in American Poetry Review, for the Pushcart Prize, so cross your fingers for it!

I got an acceptance from one of my fave online fairy-tale reviews, Rose Red Review, of three poems. And an acceptance of three poems for the Drawn to Marvel anthology coming out in March from Minor Arcana Press!

Then, I have good news for those of you who are fans of my little second book, She Returns to the Floating World, which went out of print when Kitsune Books closed…Two Sylvias Press is re-releasing and re-launching a print version of the book, with some new edits AND…drumroll…with new art work inspired by the poems by Michaela Eaves inside! Cool, right? Should be out by the end of the year!

We’re decking the halls a little early this year in preparation for my parents’ visit in about a week, so we’ve put up the Christmas lights, our tree, our mantel has stockings…

But a little worry is overshadowing my holiday excitement and happiness and thankfulness for all this good news. Thailand has had some political unrest, and my little brother is living out there, so think good thoughts for he and his wife out there.