M.J. Lyons's Blog, page 8

BLog: My Androgynous Boyfriend Vol. 1

BLog reviews recent boys love, yaoi and LGBTQ+ English translation manga.

[image error]My Androgynous Boyfriend Vol. 1 

Story and art: Tamekou

Translation: Jocelyne Allen

Publisher: Seven Seas Entertainment

Release Date: February 11, 2020

This is not boys love in the traditional sense of it being about boys in love, but it’s boys love in that it is about a boy that we can all love.

Seven Seas Entertainment is quickly claiming their place as English translation publishers of high caliber, socially transgressive stories. I can’t overstate my love for Yuhki Kamatani’s Our Dreams At Dusk series, my favourite reads, let alone my favourite manga, of 2019. This isn’t simply glomming onto anything LGBTQ-related–I’ve read plenty of LGBTQ stories I find disappointing, lacklustre or empty–but celebrating stories with something to say; stories that explore the nuances of queer life, the pain, the internal turmoil as well as the jubilation and communion that comes from being part of the LGBTQ community.

At a glance the slice-of-life love story of Machida Wako, a professional woman in the publishing industry, and Souma Meguru, a young man who works at a clothing store, doesn’t sound queer, but that all falls apart with the pastel beautiful, Instagram-worthy cover featuring the titular androgynous boyfriend. This initial premise is fleshed out in the first few pages, Meguru is being interviewed by a woman from Wako’s publishing house. She asks him why he puts so much effort into looking beautiful, hair, makeup, nails, clothes. He’d be attractive on his own. “Does that make me weird?” he asks.

Wako works hard at her job and doesn’t have much time for makeup or fashion, Meguru is devoted to aesthetics, be that his makeup, his nails, the apartment they share, curating his social media with thousands of devoted fans. More importantly, Wako and Meguru are devoted to each other. Wako is captivated by Meguru’s cuteness and worries that she’s not worthy of his beauty and affection, Meguru worries about Wako works too hard and looks for any opportunity to bring some sparkle and magic into her life. Wako loves taking pictures of Meguru for his Instagram, Meguru loves having pictures taken of him, but also looks for opportunities to bring his girlfriend into his world of pure beauty.

My Androgynous Boyfriend is a story about assumptions, and external prejudices being projected onto a relationship. Anyone who has ever been in a (usually queer) relationship (or one where a partner is non-cisgender or non-binary) where friends, family, co-workers or complete strangers have submitted the relationship to scrutiny against their own heteronormativity or cis-normativity, will see themselves in Wako and Meguru’s relationships. There’s nothing cataclysmic, the story’s pretty fluffy and adorable, but the way Meguru or their relationship together is read changes from person to person and becomes the tension of the manga.

There’s one scene early on where Wako and Meguru are on a date together and the server brings them complimentary drinks, “All ladies receive one drink on the house today.” Meguru says they’ll only need one and the server takes away Wako’s, mystifying both of them. In another scene one of Wako’s co-workers sees the two of them walking down the street holding hands and reads them as being women in a same-sex relationship, interrogating Wako at work later. “I’m totally not prejudiced!” she says. “I hope it all works out!” before asking Wako if she’s the man in the relationship. Again, anyone who’s ever been in an LGBTQ relationship will be able to relate to these small, polite, often well-meaning microaggressions. There’s also multiple instances where Meguru is assumed to be gay, or assumed in a relationship with another androgynous man, or is asked to perform being a single, unattainable potential boyfriend anyone can aspire to, when he knows who he is and what he wants.

Ultimately, My Androgynous Boyfriend is an antidote to toxic masculinity. All of the small interactions, where Wako compliments Meguru for being so cute or beautiful, who in turn vows to be even cuter to make Wako even happier, is what every relationship aspires to be; a wholesome, healthy, compassionate relationship, where the loving, glowing light of one partner shines bright and is reflected back by the other. Meguru asks, “Does that make me weird?” at the beginning, and the answer is, unfortunately, a story about a man who devotes himself to making his girlfriend’s life better in every way–even if, admittedly, his avenue is through his own beauty–is certainly not the norm.

The old stereotype of BL is that one of the characters in the relationship, usually the bottom/uke, is the stand-in for the assumed female reader. As an ostensibly cisgender guy, in my short tenure as a dedicated BL/manga reviewer I’ve enjoyed stories, found them sexy, or adorable, but I’ve never projected myself onto the characters for some sort of vicariousness. My Androgynous Boyfriend is the first time I’ve ever projected myself into the story, but in this case I wanted to be the literal woman, Wako, and I can tell you the exact page it happened. After a night of drinking too much, Wako wakes up before work and turns over to find her androgynous boyfriend staring lovingly into her eyes with a glow of beauty around him, then leans in to kiss her on the cheek. I felt such an indescribable swell of emotion. Like I said at the beginning, this may not be a traditional boys love book, but it’s about a boy that we can all love.

Level of Problematic: My androgynous, wholesome, perfect little cinnamon bun; like I said, without any hand wringing or angst this is a manga that engages with the ways we make assumptions about people and their relationships. There’s also an argument to be made about the ways My Androgynous Boyfriend engages with Japan’s longstanding history of gender-play.

Level of Adorable: Getting Instagram compersion from seeing how much people love your androgynous boyfriend; JUST LOOK AT HIM ON THE COVER. THAT’S IT. THAT’S THE REVIEW.

Level of Spiciness: Lounging androgynously in a plush robe on your new “Ikeya” couch for the enjoyment of your girlfriend; there’s a scene at the end that’ll have you clawing at the pages for more spice, where they get a little frisky, where Meguru is lounging shirtless in bed. Insert anime nosebleed.

BLog: Yarichin Bitch Club Vol. 2

BLog reviews recent boys love, yaoi and LGBTQ+ English translation manga.

[image error]Yarichin Bitch Club Vol. 2 

Story and art: Ogeretsu Tanaka

Translation: Daniel Komen

Publisher: SuBLime Manga

Release Date: February 11, 2020

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ Spoilers for Yarichin Bitch Club Vol. 1. ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

We open on precious little cinnamon bun Kyosuke Yaguchi, or Yacchan to his friends, which is everyone. We find out that Yacchan is 165 centimeters tall, weighs 62 kilograms, his blood type is B, his favourite hobby is exercise, his favourite trait in people? “I like nice people!” His least favourite type of person? “I like everyone!” Favourite food: sweet stuff; least favourite: carrots. His idol: teachers.

As the manga runs through these facts about Yacchan an unfortunate chubby boy confesses his crush to Yacchan, who turns him down gently, says they should still be friends, then turns away. Then we learn another fact about Yacchan:

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Turns out his hobby is strength training, his favourite foods are Japanese BBQ and ramen, his least favourite is sweet stuff, his favourite trait in a person is someone with a pretty face, his least favourite type of person is smart-asses, and his idol is his cousin, Yu Kashima. This is the real Kyosuke Yaguchi; when he was younger he was an unruly only child from an only family, eclipsed by his cousin Yu’s kindness and charm. Everyone liked Yu, even the girl Yaguchi liked. He internalized all of this, he admits to himself that he wants to be like Yu, he wants to be Yu.

Oh sure, we got glimpses of the real Yaguchi in volume 1. His room was a constant disaster, perhaps mirroring his mind. He freaks out at hapless Bitch Club conscript Takashi Tono when Tono found a picture of a scowling childhood Yaguchi standing next to a smiling Yu. He blushed whenever Yu was around. One of the more confounding scenes of volume 1 was when Yaguchi confronted Bitch Club bad boy Tamura over his ongoing insulting crush on Yacchan. Yaguchi pulled him close and tells Tamu “You reek like a dumpster,” before cheerfully walking away. It’d be easy to assume that Yacchan’s just a slob, and that perhaps Tamura pushed him too far after a bad day at soccer practice. It’s clear from volume 1 that Yacchan realizes Yu has a real, not feigned, crush on Tono, but Yacchan’s attention to Tono seems friendly and perhaps flirty… little do we know. This swerve from innocent (okay, not so innocent) sex romp into a massive, unexpected character-driven reveal sets the tone for volume 2.

This is maybe my favourite thing about the series, and the talent of Ogeretsu Tanaka. In volume 1, Tono accidentally found himself sucked into the metaphorical greedy tentacles of the Bitch Club, in volume 2 we find out all of the above about Yaguchi, all within the first dozen pages of the manga setting up the comedic drama to unfold. Yaguchi vows to seduce Tono away from Yu, not because he likes him at all, or has feelings for him, but because it would be awesome to steal the one Yu likes away from him. A little dramatic, villainous laughter, some overlapping scene reveals and we’re ready for volume 2.

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Aside from the Yaguchi reveal, the premise of volume 2 is that an upcoming camping trip provides the opportunity for some of the boys to get to know one another–my review of volume 1 was that the first arc was a crowded stage of characters and it would be nice to get to know them individually, yay narrative progression! Yaguchi and Tono end up in a group with Bitch Club 3rd years, germaphobic fetishist Itsuki Shikatani and silent and shy–and the Bitch Club president’s boyfriend–Koshiro Itome. Despite constant horny innuendo from Shikatani, Tono finds himself warming up to the older boys. The chance to see Itome in action, so to speak, apart from his boyfriend’s large personality is a delight–possibly a new favourite character. Even Shikatani calms down a little around the proverbial camp fire and we get to see a little more of his personality.

Overall, volume 2 is heavier on story and character development, light on sex. There might not be any sex, actually, other than some resident “screw-loose” gay mess Yuri teasing his ongoing stalker. That’s not to say there isn’t any cute boys getting horny, with wet t-shirts and bath-times a plenty on the camp trip. The brakes on sex, especially the Bitch Club’s more dubious practices, are a bit refreshing, and the epilogue origin story introducing Yuri and Tamu’s relationship is a delight.

All in all, I’m glad I came back for volume 2, and I’m a dedicated Bitch Clubber now, desperate to see what happens between Yu, Yaguchi and Tono in volume 3. Will Yaguchi get his comeuppance? Will the virgins bang? Will clothes come off? (Yes.) We shall see!

Level of Problematic: Slightly horny test of courage; all in all, less noncon, more innuendo and more character development.

Level of Adorable: Shy, attractive, wet-shirted group-leader; Itome and Shikatani as the focus of the Bitch Club members in this one is, again, refreshing from Tomu and Yuri’s madness in volume 1.

Level of Spiciness: Seeing the upper year crossdresser’s bra through his wet shirt; this one’s more innuendo and boys love than hardcore gang bangs and yaoi.

BLog: Fourth Generation Head Tatsuyuki Oyamato

BLog reviews recent boys love, yaoi and LGBTQ+ English translation manga.

[image error]Fourth Generation Head: Tatsuyuki Oyamato 

Story and art: Scarlet Beriko

Translation: Christine Dashiell

Publisher: SuBLime Manga

Release Date: August 13, 2019

Tatsuyuki Oyamato first met Nozomi Koga as a child, long before he was named the eventual fourth generation head of the Oyamato Syndicate. He discovered the ravished, sexually traumatized beauty in a lacy nightgown and promised that once he was the head of the family, he would protect Nozomi, and make Nozomi his.

As an adult, Tatsuyuki is confused after sex with a male masseur and is shipped off by his manservant, Mr. Asoda, to Fukuoka to meet the syndicate members there. After a night of drunken debauchery and disinterest in the services of a female sex worker in the red light district, Tatsuyuki passes out on a park bench and is taken home by a tall handsome man who he hooks up with, thinking the man is “Dr. Midori”. Waking, naked, the next morning, Tatsuyuki finds the man is in love with him, and seems to know quite a lot about him. After following the handsome man to work at a kindergarten where he’s proclaimed to be “the person I love,” Tatsuyuki finds out that this man is Nozomi who, as a boy, was forcibly crossdressed, physically and sexually abused at the hands of his drunkard, criminally involved father.

That’s all within the FIRST TWO chapters of Fourth Generation Head: Tatsuyuki Oyamato.

Fourth Generation Head is a weird one, a story about the son of a criminal syndicate head who is mostly disinterested in his eventual takeover, where criminality is tertiary to the plot of sexual trauma, manipulation and slavery, but is still somehow a wholesome love story, and still yet extremely explicit and lewd. Alongside Tatsuyuki’s developing relationship with Nozomi, the fourth generation head gets tangled in the web of Mr. Rogi, the parent of one of Nozomi’s kindergarten children, who seems obsessed with Tatsuyuki’s father.

In the extras at the back of the manga the artist, Scarlet Beriko, has a sketch captioned “It was basically this kind of story” where Nozomi is Mario to Tatsuyuki’s Princess Peach, with Rogi and daughter as Bowser and Baby Bowser, and that about sums it up. The gendered relationship dynamics between Nozomi and Tatsuyuki is perhaps the most interesting and unexpected part of the manga. Nozomi is literally nicknamed “Pretty Boy” by Tatsuyuki, mistaken for a girl as a child and, even as an adult, has crystalline eyes and big, beautiful eyelashes. This, in a classical yaoi dynamic, I took to be the bottom, the female stand-in, however Tatsuyuki consistently bottoms for his pretty boy lover, which is delightful (and hot). The sex scenes are plentiful and some of the more explicit I’ve seen in manga. They run the gamut of the sexy, wholesome fucking of new lovers to the borderline non-consensual sex slavery Tatsuyuki finds himself on the literal receiving end of.

While sexual trauma is on the table, Fourth Generation Head isn’t an exploration of the journey of coping with it. The story seems to suggest a binary, either you’re okay with sexual trauma in your past (Tatsuyuki) or you’re not (Nozomi), and then you push past that to get to sex.

Similarly, the resolution between Tatsuyuki and Rogi, as well, is sudden, mild and not satisfying. Rogi acts as the antagonist, the wrench in the works of their new relationship, the ultimate manipulator, the Bowser to Nozomi’s Mario, but at the end all is strangely pat and forgiven. It was a little jarring in a tale of deceit and manipulation, but perhaps the plot is secondary to all the shloops, fwaps, jolts and twitches on the page. Maybe not the most elegant narrative, but as long as you can get past the unresolved sexual trauma, Fourth Generation Head is worth it for the sex and the art, at least. I would come back for Vol. 2 for that, at the very least.

Level of Problematic: Going into business with the man who made you his sex slave; like I said, it’s a weird one. Cool gender reversal, poor sexual politics and exploration of trauma, and a further unexplored stalker trope?!

Level of Adorable: Waking up next to your naked, criminal syndicate boyfriend; Nozomi and Tatsuyuki’s burgeoning relationship is paradoxically wholesome, super cute and super hot.

Level of Spiciness: Testing out a box of sex toys on your boyfriend after he chased off the sex toy owners in a protection racket; if you can get past the abuse and trauma the lewdness will get you there.

BLog: Given

BLog reviews recent boys love, yaoi and LGBTQ+ English translation manga.

[image error]Given Vol. 1

Story and art: Natsuki Kizu

Translation: Junko Goda

Publisher: SuBLime Manga

Release Date: February 11, 2020

How do you translate something auditory to an entirely visual medium?

Like watching your favourite music video on mute, or your favourite band in concert with the volume turned down, how do you capture the overwrought, electric, tumultuous feelings our favourite music produces inside us?

Given‘s English-subbed anime predates the English translation manga by almost a year. I actually caught an episode and have it on my Crunchyroll queue to continue–I got an unspoken BL vibe without knowing anything about it; sad, cute boys in a band, I’m sold. Now that I’ve read the first volume of Natsuki Kizu’s manga, I’m going to hold off on continuing until the other four volumes come out in English. Similar to seeing your favourite book translated to movie form, I want to form my own opinion on the unheard music of Given.

The manga follows 16-year-old guitarist Ritsuka Uenoyama, whose skips basketball practice one day to find his favourite napping stairwell invaded by quiet, puppy-cute Mafuyu Sato, sleepily cradling a broken guitar. After restringing and tuning the instrument, Mafuyu is enchanted by a single strum of the guitar and follows Ritsuka to his band’s practice, where 22-year-old drummer Haruki Nakayama and 20-year-old bassist Akihiko Kaji quickly adopt him into the group.

As Ritsuka begrudgingly teaches the newcomer to play guitar, Mafuyu remains an enigma to him. When Ritsuka hears Mafuyu sing a snippet of a song in his head, the guitarist becomes obsessed with bringing Mafuyu into the band as vocalist, but questions remain. Where did he get his guitar, an expensive red Gibson ES-330? Why would someone so captivated by learning guitar be so resistant to joining a band? Are the rumours about him dating a boy at his old school true?

Back to my point of translating music onto the manga page, I think of another band comic, Scott Pilgrim, that also received a screen treatment. Perhaps it was a lack of imagination, but I never did the music version of visualizing (auditoralizing?) the songs of Sex Bob-Omb on the page–I loved the grungy, grainy, distorted Beck tracks of the Edgar Wright film, even if I ultimately found the adaptation disappointing, especially the treatment of the film’s racialized characters. Perhaps I should have made more of an effort to do so, but seeing the music of Sex Bob-Omb represented did more for me than lyrics and notes.

For being a manga about a band, music and, especially, lyrics are sparse on the pages of Given Vol. 1. You see the band in action a couple of times, practicing for an eventual concert debut. Until Mafuyu becomes involved they’re an instrumental band only. The intensity, motion and emotion of the band is communicated entirely in small snippets of them playing, and Mafuyu’s awe of them. As Mafuyu and Ritsuka’s friendship develops, as the latter writes a song for the former, and as we learn about the Mafuyu’s heart-wrenching connection to music and his guitar, the idea is floated that he put lyrics to Ritsuka’s song, but we see all of this without much actual representation of music on the page.

Again, for being a manga about a band, the pages are quiet with active music. Instead, the lyricism of Kizu’s Given comes from the exploration of relationships in between the band members picking up their instruments, be that the developing relationship of Ritsuka and Mafuyu, the complicated one sided relationship between brotherly Haruki and playboy Akihiko, or the friendships swirling around Ritsuka as he learns about Mafuyu’s past. The descriptions of Mafuyu’s voice throughout Vol. 1 fulfill a similar purpose. The first time he hears Mafuyu sing, “it was like I could feel the air resonating with his song.” Akihiko later describes Mafuyu’s voice as being “kinda husky and pretty” with a “feeling of incredible passion and fury”. These explorations of relationship, the art style, the inter-chapter pages documenting the characters, their styles, their instruments, their favourite music, help you to start filling in the music for yourself.  The driving force of Given, what will keep you turning the pages, is the relationships of these boys, with all of the glorious angst, adorable friendships, and inevitable dramas. The extras at the end, as well, a documentary-style interview with the band answering questions about one another and their musical tastes, was an adorable addition.

In setting out to capture the music of Scott Pilgrim, Wright decided each of the story’s bands would be tackled by individual, real world bands and musicians–Beck for Sex Bob-Omb, Metric for The Clash at Demonhead. I think that’s a genius tool, music is as much about sensibility and aesthetic as the actual notes. With the on-page evidence, picking up clues of the band’s tastes and Mafuyu’s voice, if I was to adapt Given‘s music for the screen–with my own Western twist and tastes–I’d tap the talents of either earlier Arcade Fire, or the less electronic, more rock ballad work of Years & Years. Something rock, but mournful, queer and powerful. But that’s the thing about music, it’s all subjective.

Level of Problematic: Very sad, very gay lead vocalist; this one has a T+ (Older Teen) rating, for discussions of suicide, I’m guessing, and maybe illusions to sexuality? I’m interested to see how the suicide aspect of the story plays out, at the end of Vol. 1 we still don’t actually know what happened, but otherwise Given is refreshingly clean of shitty tropes.

Level of Adorable: Passing out drunk on top of your long-haired best friend, who has a big gay crush on you; I devoured this one. More, goddamnit, more pretty band boys and gay feelings I say!!

Level of Spiciness: Your favourite high school napping stairwell; this one’s all about the moe and the sad gay feels. Maybe it’ll get a little sweaty and shirtless in further volumes, it does have that Teen+ rating, and it does get very hot underneath the stage lights…

Stand By Me: Love & Vulnerability in ‘Final Fantasy XV’

I was thinking about FFXV today and remembered this piece I was really proud of writing for FemHype.

FemHype

Final Fantasy XV centers around love between men. If you’ve played the game, this is not a contentious statement.

It’s been almost a year since the release of the latest installment in the Final Fantasy franchise, and after playing it, I would argue it’s one of the most emotionally nuanced stories in the series’ history. The game follows Noctis Lucis Caelum, a prince of the kingdom of Lucis, as he undertakes a road trip with his closest friends. His goal to wed his fiancée, Oracle Lunafreya Nox Fleuret, is dashed when the expansionist empire of Niflheim invades the capital city of Lucis. Noctis’ journey refocuses on harnessing the power of Lucis’ old rulers to free the land of Niflheim’s corrupting influence.

FFXV continues the series’ legacy of exploring themes of vulnerability, loss, and intimate relationships among its title characters. While there are women in the game, they feature less prominently…

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BLog: Blue Kiss

BLog reviews recent boys love, yaoi and LGBTQ+ English translation manga.

[image error]Blue Kiss

Story: Hideko_Sunshine

Translation: Prwlaila

Publisher: everY

Release Date: 2017

While I’m travelling in Thailand, I was hoping to find a gay, Thai manga-style comic to review. In a stroke of luck, when I made my pilgrimage to Kinokuniya in Bangkok–I could write an entire review about the store in Siam Paragon, gorgeous, a huge selection of English language books, a fantastic manga section, including BL/yuri–I was thrilled to find their “No Boundaries” section of LGBTQ pics (although they were mostly books about gay men).

Blue Kiss I took to be a manga, solely because of the pretty anime boys on the cover. Once I confirmed that it was set in Thailand (check!) and by a Thai author (check!) I added it to my pile of books. Turns out it was a light novel, but I’m counting that as a win.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from a gay Thai story. I know as much about LGBTQ rights in Thailand as any westerner with access to Google, and from a few conversation with Thai people and immigrants from other countries, the sense I get is: fairly liberal populace, fairly conservative government. I understand Blue Kiss is part of the bigger Kiss Me Again series by Hideko_Sunshine and, to her credit, when I’m back in Canada I’m definitely going to see if I can find an English dub of the sequel TV show Dark Blue Kiss. I want to see how they continue the character’s stories.

Kao is a studious son and a loyal friend who, during his school days, stops his friend from getting beaten to death by rebellious, hot-tempered rich boy Pete–Ren, Kao’s friend, was flirting with Pete’s two-timing girlfriend. The action leaps forward to his first days in engineering at N University where Kao meets jokester June, along with model-handsome, half-French Thada and boyish, attractive Sandee–who despite being a straight woman, has a habit of attracting both boys and girls… love it! Sandee, to Kao’s horror, is best friends with Pete, the high school tormentor! Pete and Kao’s relationship causes difficulty in the group, Pete picks on Kao for being so studious and serious, Kao seems to resent Pete for what he did to his friend in high school… but perhaps there are other reasons behind his difficulty being friendly with Pete?!

[image error]Sandee forces Pete and Kao to work on a group project–she bites the bullet and pairs up with June and Thada, the stupid-to-smart ratio being uneven in the group–and Kao assumes he’ll be doing all the work himself. After a confrontation at a bar, Pete gets beat up by some ruffians, but Kao steps in and saves him. This makes Pete feel guilty and, when he goes over to help Kao on the project, he ends up rushing Kao’s mom to the hospital after she faints. They begin to get closer and closer, they start to sleep over together, just the two of them, and Pete starts to realize his feelings for Kao.

Hideko_Sunshine has woven an adorable little web of characters. The friend Kao saves in high school, Ren, has an older brother named Sun, who opens a café and employs Kao to take some pictures to promote the menu. Ren is friends with Mork, the seeming street ruffian who beats up Pete for getting in the way of one of Mork’s friends hitting on Sandee–Pete is jealous and possessive of his friends, which causes no small amount of trouble for Kao and the others. When June’s childhood friend and roommate, King, ends up getting involved in drug dealing, Kao, Pete, June, Thada and Sandee are accidentally arrested after following him to a deal involving Ren and Mork, but it turns out Mork isn’t exactly what he seems. As Pete and Kao’s relationship develops, complications arise when Pete’s form crush, Fongbeer, gets in between them, and Sun, too, may be spending a lot of time with Kao for reasons that aren’t strictly professional.

Mysteriously to my western perspective, the book has a sticker that says “For Age 18+”, which is perhaps more of a Thai rating. There’s swearing, discussions of drugs, discussions of sex, but the most we see on the page is discussions of kisses getting “hotter and deeper” and the occasional “raging storm of lust”. Sex is strictly fade to black, which isn’t a bad thing… but I would love to see Hideko_Sunshine open up and really go to town. You can tell reading it she loves her characters, she loves throwing complications into the mix and making them work it out.

For that reason, genre-wise, if I was to put it on a shelf in North America it’d be YA. Blue Kiss does that wonderful YA thing of challenging their gay characters without making the central conflict around homophobia. Once Pete realizes his feelings he has no fear pursuing Kao–there’s an adorable scene later in the book with Pete’s father, Pon–it’s Kao who feels nervous about coming out to people, despite knowing he was gay earlier than Pete.

My only real criticism is the translation could have taken a pass by a native English speaker. That’s not to say the translation’s bad, but its clear based on the cadence and grammar it was translated by a Thai speaker with a high level of English literacy, rather than an native English speaker. I feel like it would have upped the overall quality of the story, just to smooth out some of the rough edges. Let’s take a look at a section from early on in the story, original translation:

“Hey, wait.” Pete quickly stopped Kao when he was about to get out of the car. He also grabbed Kao’s wrist before he could open the door.

Kao was frozen. He turned to Pete, then looked at his hand with uneasiness. But Pete didn’t know how his action affected Kao, so he didn’t let go of Kao’s wrist and kept talking.

“Can I…stay overnight?”

“…!!!”

Pete’s question made Kao shocked. He shook his head like crazy.

An adorable interaction! If I were to offer edits on it without changing much it would look like:

“Hey, wait,” Pete said as Kao went to get out of the car. He reached out and grabbed Kao’s wrist before his friend could open the door.

Kao froze. He turned to Pete, then glanced down at his hand, feeling uneasy. Pete had no idea how his touch affected Kao, so he kept his grip on Kao’s wrist and kept talking.

“Can I… stay overnight?”

Pete’s question shocked Kao, he had no idea what to say. He shook his head like crazy.

Just small tweaks to make the humour and interactions more accessible–and adorable!!–to English readers.

Hideko_Sunshine’s strength is in her lovable cast of characters, humour, delicious gay angst, and her slice of life look at young people in Bangkok. I would read an entire book of Kao, Pete, Sandee, Thada and June travelling around getting into misadventures. I wanted more of the group of friends that was entirely focused around Kao and Pete’s relationship! I would happily read more by her an any other Thai writer tackling gay stories. Now to hunt down a subbed version of Dark Blue Kiss…

Level of Problematic: Introducing your shy, studious boyfriend to your dad; I was scared the story would be filled with cheesy tropes and weird, problematic relationships, but the story was light, fluffy and adorable.

Level of Adorable: A hot Mocha and a slice of strawberry cake at Blue Sky Café; so many gay feelings!

Level of Spiciness: Making your dumb boyfriend study if he wants any; good God, I want more spice with Pete and Kao. There’s a couple of bonus chapters, including them and another pairing, that were delightful… but does Hideko_Sunshine have a special secret books she could let me read?

BLog: Yarichin Bitch Club

BLog reviews recent boys love, yaoi and LGBTQ+ English translation manga.

[image error]Yarichin Bitch Club Vol. 1

Story and art: Ogeretsu Tanaka

Translation: Satsuki Yamashita

Publisher: SuBLime Manga

Release Date: November 19, 2019

Hapless high schooler Takashi Tono is transferred to remote Mori Mori Academy, an all boys school for the rich and elite, in the mountains. A school rule that mandates membership in a club, at least for a year, forces Tono to pick the photography club–aside from sports the school only has brass band, rock band, theatre and photography club–picked because he assumes it’ll be the easiest. He shows up to his first meeting of the photography to find the club members testing a vibrating fleshjack. It turns out but signing up he has been press press-ganged into the Yarichin Bitch Club, “the release valve for all the pressure of a bunch of boys cooped up in the mountains are under”, a group of students who love having sex, and provide their services to students and faculty.

…

Now, if a 31-year-old guy writing about a volunteer-based high school brothel has you feeling like this…

[image error]

… I do not blame you! The premise of Yarichin Bitch Club is so inappropriate and absurd, an explicit yaoi manga is about the only place I can imagine getting away with it. It’s “M for Mature” is well deserved and the content is so perverse it’ll cause whiplash.

Now that I’ve gotten the obligatory moral hand-wringing out of the way, I will say this: If I had been given this manga in high school I would have worn my copy out.

There’s three plots going on in Vol. 1. The main thrust (yuk yuk yuk) of Yarichin Bitch Club‘s plot is Tono’s arrival at Mori and learning about the Bitch Club, while getting to know his classmate and burgeoning crush Kyosuke Taguchi, or Yacchan–noted cutie, super charming and popular at Mori–and also getting entangled in a burgeoning love triangle with Yu Kashima, fellow transfer student, fellow “accidental” Bitch Club newbie and Yacchan’s cousin (?!?!?!?!). Secondary to that is the Bitch Club’s rule that a member who doesn’t have sex by the end of the month gets gang-banged. Yu may have a solution for the two of them to not get enthusiastically gang-banged by the club, but it comes with some strings attached. Finally, after saving a suicidal student’s life, top-scoring Bitch Club slut Yuri is stalked, with his underwear and socks stolen, as well as sex toys used on him from the Bitch Club’s collection–club president Akemi is livid, they were bought with club funds!

Yarichin Bitch Club is a mix of high school comedy, adorable BL love triangle and filthy, depraved yaoi sex odyssey. Artist Ogeretsu Tanaka admits in a afterword that they originally created it as a webcomic. “This manga came about from my desire to draw a romantic comedy that was crude. At the time I loved fuckboys and mansluts, so I wanted to populate the story with a bunch of them.” The manga was drawn for fun, and when they got an e-mail asking if they’d like to turn it into a book they had to read the e-mail six times to believe it.

The hybridization of separate genres mostly works, blending the three; Yacchan is a target of love-hate from Bitch Club bad boy Tamura; Tono and Yu’s horror at getting gang-banged forges their pretend-but-maybe-not relationship, complicated by Tono’s crush on Yacchan, and Yacchan’s crush on Yu. There’s an especially adorable ongoing gag where Tono goes over to Yacchan’s place to study or hang out, and the adorable, popular high school boy’s room is a garbage dump. “Let’s clean first!” There’s also some potential drama between Akemi and his boyfriend, the silent, mysterious, Itome. They’re both tops, but Akemi is the only one Itome will bottom for. Tono wonders how Itome feels about the arrangement.

Lastly, perhaps the strangest and most difficult to process part of Yarichin Bitch Club is the character of Yuri, a hypersexual idiot savant, generously described by other characters as having “a couple of screws loose”, who speaks almost entirely in baby goo-goo talk, is possibly aware of the fourth wall, and is an unpredictable and bizarre part of the plot. I wonder, in this instance, if there’s something lost in translation, or perhaps the baby talk was a weird choice. The premise is already extreme, and Yuri is an extreme of an extreme, constantly slobbering all over people/genitals, prancing around (half-)naked, taking dick and sex toys every which way. He is highly desired and constantly has guys chasing after him–the latter third plot of Vol. 1 is the aforementioned stalker.

Perhaps the difficulty comes from readers not yet seeing the internal workings of the Bitch Club characters save brief glimpses at Tamura, Akemi and Itome’s interpersonal relationships. Despite being a focus, we have no idea what’s going on with Yuri, ditto Bitch Club germaphobe and fetish enthusiast Shikatani. There’s a big cast of characters fighting for screen time, I’m hoping for more of a chance to get to know each in Vol. 2.

Still, a manga as an excuse to throw a bunch of mansluts and fuckboys into a high school comedy setting is executed well, the art is in turns adorable, kinky and sexy–the prequel extra chapter showing Tamura getting inaugurally, ritualistically gang-banged is one of the hottest sex scenes in the book. Ogeretsu Tanaka describes how they had to redraw the first three chapters, and the quality of art is far beyond a webcomic manga. Assuming you can forgive the extremely inappropriate premise like the pervert you are, Yarichin Bitch Club will get you there. I am perversely delighted that I found it–admittedly plastic wrapped–on a table at my local big chain bookstore. I don’t think they know what they’re selling, but like an end of the month gang-bang, I wait in heated anticipation for Vol. 2, out February 11, and will keep patronizing the bookstore to show them I appreciate their unknown smut peddling.

Level of Problematic: Bottoming for a mandatory high school gang-bang for not meeting your monthly sex quota; I’ve tried to write this review without judgement, because I’ve seen the darkness in man and woman’s hearts; I know what they whack off to. But hoo boy. A high school sex club. Don’t tell mama I’m reading this.

Level of Adorable: Possibly incestuous love triangle; Tacchan is a precious little cinnamon bun too good for this world, and the love triangle is both ridiculous that remains mostly untouched by the Bitch Club’s perversions. I look forward to the inevitable corruption of our beautiful, innocent boys.

Level of Spiciness: Strip-studying for midterms; naked pervert high schoolers. Have I not made that clear?

BLog: Melting Lover

BLog reviews recent boys love, yaoi and LGBTQ+ English translation manga.

[image error]Melting Lover

Story and art: Bukuro Yamada

Translation: ?????

Publisher: Kuma

Release Date: October 22, 2019

A mysterious shape-shifting blob is a stand-in for a young man’s obsessive crush. An angel follows around an emotionally broken assassin, guiding the souls of his victims to the other side. A young circus performer gets to know his enigmatic roommate with strange powers while getting tangled in the ringmaster’s exploitative web. An android and his human pet have sex and plan a vacation. These are the weird and wonderful journeys you’ll take in Melting Lover, a series of short manga stories centered around dark desires and strange, often supernatural sexuality.

As standalones, a couple of the stories were especially standout to me. “Bottom of Heaven” (unfortunate title/translation?) tells the story of an emotionally numb, distrustful hitman and the angel who follows him around, guiding the souls of his victims. The angel’s emotionally invested and concerned that his ward doesn’t enjoy anything and is numbed to killing. The tilt at the end of this story was especially delightful.

Similarly, “Noisy Jungle” follows Yumeo, an android, and his human pet Pochi–you can maybe see where this is going. The story is quick, simple, fairly straightforward in terms of concept and execution, even feels like a bit of a throwaway, but was one of my favourites. I think the simplicity of it was part of the appeal.

The longer two-parters, the titular “Melting Lover” and “The Circus After Midnight” were maybe less impactful because of their length. Keisuke, the protagonist (though definitely not hero) of “Melting Lover” is stalking his high school crush, Shunakawa… it’s not clear if we’re supposed to feel sympathy or horror when he runs into Shunakawa AND HIS WIFE AND CHILD on his way to install hidden cameras in his house, and then blob-Shunakawa shows up. We’ve all been there. Similarly, “The Circus After Midnight” belabors the plot points and reveals a little long. It’s pretty clear what’s going on from the start, although when young contortionist Luce and mysterious animal trainer Yan end up together–it’s BL, I don’t feel like that’s a spoiler–the scene is pretty hot if you’re into abused and broken boys being made sweet, tender and kinky love to. Tropes ahoy.

[image error]I enjoyed the manga as a whole, even if I was a little less enthusiastic about a couple of the stories, but Melting Lover is worth it just for the simple black and white, sketch-style art. It actually feels like more of an art piece as whole text, packaging and all. The paperback manga has a dust-cover, which is unusual and a pretty touch–feels weird to talk about a BL’s dust-cover. The inside colour page (right), the dark, sexy, scary, id-probing stories, the in turns perverse, hot and endearing sex, there’s no doubt that something from Melting Lover will end up sticking… in your mind…

Level of Problematic: Sexually traumatized contortionist; Melting Lovers has a weird relationship to sex and power dynamics (and Christian symbolism???), and that’s not necessarily a criticism! The only Problematic Sex Trope(TM) that really got an eye-roll was in “The Circus After Midnight”. Still, sex can be weird, dark, complicated, painful–physically and emotionally–even bad, and that’s worth exploring. The supernatural elements of the stories give them an edge that helps temper the problematic stuff, just be warned.

Level of Adorable: Horny, black-winged angel; if you like cute boys doing or having terrible things done to them, then you’re in for a treat. There are enough tender and sexy moments–especially in “Noisy Jungle”, I’m glad that one’s in the latter half–to offset some of the abuse and dubcon (or outright noncon)… I’m looking at you “The Circus After Midnight”…

Level of Spiciness: Explicit android-human interfacing; this collection has a little bit of spicy for everyone… bruised and broken bodies, quivering human insides on android dick, biting, slimy boys slime-ing. The art style softens the explicitness of the dirty bits, but can confirm: still hot.

BLog: Don’t Call Me Dirty

[image error]Don’t Call Me Dirty

Story and art: Gorou Kanbe

Translation: Christine Dashiell

Publisher: TOKYOPOP

Release Date: January 7, 2020

Shouji is a young, emotionally volatile gay mess working at his internet-addicted father’s liquor store, while also often looking after neighbouring Old Man Kaji’s convenience store next door whenever the octogenarian(?!) increasingly falls asleep on the job. After a devastating breakup from his straight-curious boyfriend, Shouji finds himself comforted by Hama, a tall, quiet, honorable neighbourhood homeless man who pops by Kaji’s Convenience for cheap noodle cups.

Don’t Call Me Dirty is a slice of life one shot that draw parallels between Shouji’s homosexuality to Hama’s homelessness–or, rather, it examines perceptions of shame between the two. Shouji, kind, generous but sensitive, especially in light of his boyfriend’s rejection after sleeping together, is stuck worrying about the shame of people’s judgement towards his very open, lifelong gay identity. In a similar way as he gets to know Hama he finds himself panicking at the slightest sign of judgement of his new friend’s literal dirtiness, the sneering, moral judgments as Hama moves about the world. Hama, it turns out, doesn’t notice or doesn’t care, it’s Shouji’s own judgement and social anxiety about “dirtiness” he’s projecting on the homeless man.

The world of Don’t Call Me Dirty subverts Shouji’s anxieties in a transgressive, playful, often laugh-out-loud way. The places you’d most expect to find homophobic judgement–the Greek chorus of neighbourhood children, his gruff, grumpy father who’s constantly typing away on social media–instead support and even cheer on his tumultuous relationships; as he commiserates with the neighbourhood children about getting dumped, one of them comments, “He sure knows how to pick ’em.” When Shouji worries about Hama coming into his father’s liquor store, there’s an especially poignant moment where his father points out several people in their lives who are or at some point have been homeless or dealt with physical dirtiness.

When Shouji’s relationship woes go viral after his internet-addicted father live tweets about it, Shouji’s cheered on by several people in the neighbourhood. Does it reflect real life? Probably not. Is it adorable and wholesome? Absolutely. This is the idealized, almost utopian backdrop (minus the homelessness) that lets the story explore perceptions of internalized shame instead of actual, real life social oppression. That’s not a bad thing, it’s a more interesting choice than if everyone in his life treated Shouji as disgusting or dirty.

A genuinely enjoyable read with a lot of surprises and a level of social awareness I wasn’t expecting in a BL I grabbed almost at random. Shouji is a unique character in terms of the BL I’ve read. Not overly sexualized or sex-obsessed, not perfect or idealized. He’s a strange, anxious, sensitive little guy with a big heart, with a lovable cast of characters swirling around him. A deus ex machina in the form of a family friend just might get him and Hama the happiness they deserve. Just don’t call them dirty.

Level of Problematic: Woke Twitter Dad; really cool, surprising explorations of homelessness, and a playful, genuine depiction of sexuality without relying on tired tropes and stock characters

Level of Adorable: Several neighbourhood children reading sweet, slightly sexy BL at Old Man Kaji’s convenience store; a little bit of nudity, but nothing you’d get in trouble with mom or dad over

Level of Spiciness: Unnecessarily plastic wrapped; brief discussions of sex and sexuality, a couple of kisses, a couple of bedroom scenes, I’ve seen worse on DeviantArt

Elric Storm Saves Winter Solstice

 

[image error]

The Occupied City of Loclanthear

Solstice, Lowwinter

During solstice, the material plane and the realm of dreams are closest.

&

Sweat, woodfire, damp winter stone, greasy cooking food and the ancient stench of spilled ale; the bouquet of scents makes The Hanged Man a last bastion of humanity in the royal capital.

A mouser darts between Elric’s legs out the door as he ducks in from the cold, a flash of quicksilver. He shakes the snow off his cloak. The fire from the hearth casts the tavern in a golden glow, the rafters above all shadows. Reflecting cats eyes gaze down on the patrons who’ve trudged through the snow for a tankard of Amara’s ale.

Davzaren Goodfellow is at the bar, flirting with Amara, as usual. The dark-skinned woman’s lips are pursed indulgently as his half-elf partner, porcelain-pale, a shock of bright red hair and an army of freckles across his nose, leans over the beer-stained surface, begging for her sweet buns recipe. The innuendo is not lost, even on the Elric.

“Would you like me to remove this gadabout rogue, my lady?” Elric asks, placing a hand on Dav’s shoulder. He peers down at a fat orange tabby at Dav’s feet, butting its head indulgently against his ankles, clearly waiting for scraps.

Dav spins around and leans back against the bar, smirking, he pulls Elric closer, against him. “Amara knows I’m just practicing. She’s way out of my league.”

“That’s for sure,” she quips. A silver muzzled molly leaps up onto the bar beside her and fixes Elric with an intense stare as Amara pulls a tankard for him. “You have two elves here for you…”

Elric barely catches the “my prince” under her breath at the end of her statement. He accepts the ale gratefully and doesn’t say anything. It’s dangerous for him to be outside of the palace after dark, dangerous for him and his subjects.

As Dav and Elric make their way across the Hanged Man’s floor, the chubby tabby tailing them, Dav gooses the prince’s prat, garnering a scowl in kind.

“Don’t blame me,” he purrs. “You look so good in combat leathers.”

Pyria sits with her back against the wall, the wood elf’s eyes never missing a detail as they rake across the room, her gold-gilded long-bow leaning against the chair. When patrons notice she’s there the elven woman gets subtle, suspicious glances, mutinous mutterings–an elf in a human establishment is odd enough. But if Amara has allowed it none would challenge the barkeep’s sovereignty. Even beyond her patronage, though, elves are beautiful, often to a degree that is alien to humans, but Pyria’s beauty is marred by lacerating scars on the right half of her face, the remnants of her long right ear little more than a chunk of flesh with a hole in it. She keeps her dark tendrils of hair tied up, never bothering to hide her old scars. Elric feels a deep well of guilt, as he always does when he’s confronted with Pyria’s disfigurement. She might be an elf, but she suffered at the hands of his people–as a child, no less.

The mottled tortoiseshell cat in her lap appears to be dozing, wrapped around itself, but as the two approach Elric realizes its eyes are slits, and don’t miss a moment.

Dav doesn’t wait for an invitation and sits down, kicking his feet up on the table. He addresses the other elf at the table. “What’s with all the cats?”

The druid, the moon elf, isn’t marred by scars or injuries. He’s the image of poise and stillness, the light brown skin of his terribly beautiful face is luminescent, glowing in the hearthfire. His simple tunic and robes are the colour of moonlight on a fresh fallen snow, adding to his ethereal beauty. His silver hair is coiled into braids, small fetishes tied in. As they join him he slowly, deliberately takes in their appearance, one eye the golden colour of the sun, the other the silver colour of the moon. The large, beautiful fluffy cat sitting on the table to his right is almost his mirror, elegant, poised, silver-white hair, one eye gold, the other silver, both appraising the newcomers.

“You’re the Dreamweaver?” Elric asks.

“You are, indeed, addressing the Dreamweaver, young stormchild.”

His voice is slow, measured, placid, like the gentle lapping of a winter lake on ice.

Pyria shifts slightly to face her companions, the cat in her lap flowing with her body, unperturbed. She signs that, just before Dav and Elric had arrived, their mission had been under discussion with the Dreamweaver.

“Can you help us?”

The druid nods, “We have already begun.”

Dav huffs, he’s never had much patience for the inscrutable speech of elves. “You understand what it is we’re asking for, elf?”

“The silent one shares that you wish to walk the paths of the moon goddess herself. You wish to take from a reverie.”

Elric nods. He had performed many unscrupulous acts under the occupation of the elves. Despite, nominally, being prince and protector of Edion, he was little more than a pickpocket in their eyes, skulking about with his companions in the underworld of Loclanthear. Here were the last vestiges of resistance against the thrice-cursed elves. However, among the spying, the thefts, even, tragically, the murders of their beautiful, merciless overlords… a dream heist was a first.

&

Cats swell around their ankles as they continue down the forest path.

Dav dances around a coterie of innumerable felines. “That druid guy never told… what’s with the cats?”

Pyria signs, For all of time, cats walk walk between the worlds of sleep and wake. To cats, they are one in the same.

Dav rolls his eyes. “More elvish nonsense. I’m just glad I’m not allergic.”

A snowball sails through the air and hits him in the side of the head. Dav spins around to face her, but Pyria strides through the snow, her face implacable. Dav doesn’t notice the beads of melting snow on her gloves. The prince suppresses a snort at the expense of his partner.

Elric looks ahead where the silver cat pads through the snow, barely breaking the surface, leading the herd of cats. The winter air is bracing, their breaths appear in thick clouds ahead of them. The solstice moon hangs heavy in the sky, full.

There’s something strange about this path.

The snow is undisturbed, the trees too perfect, the shadows too bright. A mountain in the distance, beneath the moon, looks like someone’s picturesque idea of a mountain, but lacks the randomness of tectonic shifts, of snowfall and wind and eons of erosion.

Elric stops and his companions follow suit. The sea of cats continues to flow around them down the path.

“Do either of you remember how we got here?”

“Are you alright, my princeliness?” Dav asks. “We were at the Hanged Man and then we… we…”

Dav can’t remember, neither can Elric.

Now, Pyria signs, gazing around in awe. We are there, the realm of dreams, the paths of the goddess of the moon. She makes a complex sign with her hands and then bows her head, lips mouthing a long held prayer.

Elric turns to face Dav and a wave of ecstasy hits him, as if he’d drank three glasses of wine at once. His limbs are electric with the beauty of the realm of dreams, he wants to dance, to carouse through the meadows and thick, lush forests… but then he gets ahold of himself, suppresses the overwhelming desire that’s simply a planar effect on non-elves.

He turns to see Dav racing into the underbrush, laughing. His partner was apparently not so strong-willed…

Elric crashes into the underbrush after the half-elf boy, his breastplate pieces clanking together. He’s impeded by the undergrowth, it seems to fight him, but Dav is dancing along through a suddenly summery woodland that parts to accommodate his revelries. The thick, heady smell of wet earth, moss and damp, living wood, flowers blooming around them in pageantry, speckles of fresh rainfall on his skin. Ribbons of summer rain dance across the canopy. There is no permanence here, weather, season, all are at the whims of the dreamers who walk the moon goddess’ paths.

Elric crashes out of the fae bramble and into a clearing where Dav stands stock still, his back to the Storm Prince. Elric cautiously approaches and then watches as a net of dark web sweeps up his partner, who cries out in terror. Elric stumbles back, looking up into the canopy. He can barely see the glint of octadic eyes–a shadow spider.

Elric barely dodges to the left, leaping out of the way as tendrils of shadow shoot down to snap him up into the spider’s grasp. His hand goes to his hip and whips his shortsword out of its sheath, spinning it as he grasps the familiar weight of the weapon.

His free hand reflexively closes his ring and pinky fingers, thumb out, the index and middle extending upwards with his arm as he traces the holy sigil of the Storm God’s light into the air, magical aether crackling around his fingers at the invocation. “Storm God, release thy divine power to smite the enemies of thy humble servant!”

High above, through a break in the canopy, Elric watches as dark storm clouds skein through the air into existence, blotting out the stars. A fork of lightning licks out from the cloud cracking against the tips of the canopy high above, while one bolt shoots down through the break, slamming against a thick tree branch the shadow spider is resting on. The abomination leaps out of the way, avoiding the worst of the lightning, but Elric watches as the Storm God’s power crackles across it’s abdomen. He keeps his free hand extended up into the air, holding the Storm God’s attention with his faith, electricity crackling around his fingers.

Now, however, the spider’s attention is fully on him, it spins out of the canopy to the ground before him, fully two men’s height above him, freakishly graceful for something so enormous. Its mandibles chitter as it lunges for him. He rolls away, but feels a stinging pain as something rakes along his right leg. He’s lucky, if it had sunk into him surely some dark nightmare poison would have claimed him, although his situation looks dire.

Suddenly, an arrow whispers through the air, piercing one of the dark eyes of the shadow spider. A palpable hit. It screeches in agony, entire body whipping about in pain and fury, but not even Elric can see Pyria crouched up in a tree.

Something slams beside Elric, and he looks over to see Dav, who’s landed hard on his feet, but has managed to free himself from the nightmare’s web. He helps Elric right himself, putting himself between the monster and his prince.

Elric doesn’t waste the seconds of protection. As the storm clouds crackle above him, he ducks behind Dav and traces another sigil on his leg, asking the Storm God for the soothing power of rain. Something washes across the wound, as if a gentle caress of warm water and, beneath the tear in his pants, he sees his wound stitching up.

The shadow spider skitters around Dav, bearing down on the injured prince. It lunges, and, as he and Dav leap out of the way he feels, again, the stinging rake of the thing’s mandibles pop into the side of his armour, cutting into his hip. The Storm Prince cries in pain as blood gushes from the dire wound. He– 

A voice: “He wraps it up and goes home.”

&

Thorncliffe Park Neighbourhood, Toronto, Ontario

Friday, December 21, 2018

We all turn to face Mrs. Ibrahim, who stands in the bedroom doorway, arms crossed, eyebrow raised at her son.

Kaidan throws his arms up in the air from behind his DM’s screen. His black cat, Altair, continues snoring in his lap, “Ummi! It’s the first day of the break, and we’re just in the middle of combat!”

Alyssa signs that she kind of had to go to the bathroom anyways, and smiles at Mrs. Ibrahim as she ducks around Kaidan’s mom.

“Kaidan Ahmed Ismail Ibrahim! It’s almost 10:30! You want to talk about combat? How about when you’re fighting me tomorrow morning when you have to wake up at 5:30?”

Kaidan asks for another hour, his mother says five minutes, they start to haggle.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat and glance over at my best friend, Lucy. He’s got his phone out and is smiling dreamily as he texts. He’s been in a weird mood tonight, a bit distracted, and he’s been texting a lot. Usually when we play D&D he’s at the table and all in. That’s one of the things I like about him most.

He notices my gaze and smiles at me, blushing. Lucy doesn’t blush at anything, he’s usually the one making other people flustered. Something’s really weird. I blush back, empathic response.

“Sorry,” he shakes his phone. “Just been texting big sis, asking for advice.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah…” he says, turning to look out the window beside him. “I have something really important I want to ask someone…”

The moon hangs heavy and low outside, fuller and brighter than I’ve ever seen it through the overcast winter night, casting a silver sheen on the apartment tower next door.

“Elric,” Lucy asks, turning back to me, looking a little freaked out. My heart beats a little faster at the tone in his voice, though I’m not sure why. “Can I ask you something weird…”

Alyssa interrupts, coming back from the bathroom, taking her usual seat beside her boyfriend, Kaidan, our intrepid DM, who’s managed to haggle his mother up to half an hour.

“But everyone’s putting on their coats and heading to the bus at 11 PM sharp, and no complaining tomorrow morning! Ya Allah! I’m going to be the one putting up with you all the way to Vancouver,” she walks away muttering to herself.

Kaidan rolls his eyes, “Alright, where were we?”

He looks at the vinyl mat in front of us, drawn to represent a forest clearing. A large black spider is pressed right against my figurine for the Elric, the Storm Prince, dressed in silver-blue armour, with Lucy’s Davzaren, red haired in brown and green leathers beside him. Alyssa’s Pyria is off in the trees, posed with her bow, looking epically elvish, D20s and D6s scattered around the combat zone.

Lucy looks at me expectantly, worried. “We’ll talk after.”

My heart skips a beat.

“Elric, roll to hit!”

&

–he reacts by twisting his hand into a vein of elemental magic, aether coursing through him as a bolt of lightning shoots out of it, striking the thing square in the mid-section. Elric stumbles as he lands hard on his previously injured leg, but the shadow spider has taken it worse than he. It screeches as lightning races across it, down each of its legs.

Another arrow whizzes out of the canopy, although it glances off the abdomen of the frenzied shadow that is still bearing down on Dav and Elric. As Elric stumbles he watches a dagger dance in Dav’s hand before being flicked at the beast. The monster is so preoccupied with Elric that it doesn’t see as the blade flies through one of its legs, separating the extremity at the joint. Thick, black ichor spills out of it, evaporating as it hits the forest floor, and the thing stumbles, not yet compensating for the lost limb.

Elric stands, lightning still crackling up and down both his arms, he can feel the wild fury of the Storm God within him. He holds his hand up in the air and a lightning bolt shoots down, hits the shadow spider with full force. He watches as the monster erupts in divine, crackling light, melting into the explosion of a lightning flash even as it falls, defeated, dead. The entire battle took no more than twenty or thirty seconds.

Elric sags to his knees, grimacing in pain, as Dav comes to help him from collapsing. Pyria is at their side, melting out of the woodland, sharp eyes, keeping an eye out for other threats.

Now released, the storm thunders gently above them as it dissipates. Elric presses his hand against the wound in his side and pushes more potent divine healing power into it and feels the gentle warmth of a summer rainstorm against his skin, and itching as the wound closes up. He feels an emptiness inside him that comes from calling on the Storm God to the degree that he has. It will pass with some rest, but it is still frightening.

Dav looks embarrassed, “Apologies, my princeliness… not sure what came over me.”

Pyria signs, Always, in the plane of the moon goddess, any who are not elves can get overwhelmed by the otherworldly perfection. 

She’s simply stating a fact, but Dav bristles at the implication and is about to say something sharp and ungenerous. Elric puts his hand on his partner’s shoulder as he helps the prince up. “It’s okay, Davzaren. I felt it too, I almost succumbed.”

Dav nods, and then his eyes go wide, looking over Elric’s shoulder. Elric spins, expecting some fresh attack, but it’s merely the silver-white cat of the druid, standing in a break in the trees, waiting patiently, tail twitching back and forth in interest.

“I suppose we follow,” Elric mutters as he sheathes his sword.

As the trio approaches, the cat turns and stalks away, shimmering in the moonlight, just visible through the foliage.

“Feel free to jump in next time,” Dav calls after it.

&

Dav, Pyria and Elric stand in a line of trees bordering the mirror reflection of an oak grove on the dream plane. Huge, twisting, opulent, luminous, pearlescent oaks reach upwards for the moon, dancing gently despite a lack of breeze. Sometimes elves of this plane come to the groves, supposedly to commune with the elves who rest here. A mind lives within the otherworldly trunk of one of these oaks, as much tree as it is elf. A mind of an elf that was one of the first to walk the conquered lands of men, charged with documenting and archiving the few ancient magical weapons humanity once held.

“Well,” whispers Dav, “what now?”

As if in response, the silver-white cat bounds away from them out of the underbrush. The other two turn to Pyria, looking for some elven wisdom, but she merely shrugs and moves to follow. Elric smiles at Dav and joins her. The half-elf boy swears and does the same as the full moon blazes down, cool silver light glittering on the leaves above.

The grove of sentient oak trees is tranquil, quiet… but not silent. As they move through it cautiously, Elric can swear he hears whispers of whispers. The trees aren’t talking to one another… but they aren’t exactly keeping their own counsel either.

The cat stops before one of the largest oak trees, a trunk thick enough to rival a small house, branches that reach endlessly up into the moonlit night sky, forming a gentle canopy over the others. The cat brushes up against the trunk. Elric guesses they’ve found Minister Athtar of the ancient House Brightwood.

Like all mortals, elves die through the usual means; blooding and age–though elves seem strangely resistant to disease.

While a blade may dispatch an elf in the typical fashion, elven aging is unique among any mortals. Physically, elves don’t gather wrinkles or loose their bodies to time, but they do begin to appear “thinner,” taking on a brittle-looking quality that seems to come with age, wisdom and arcane power.

Elves can live to be hundreds, even thousands of years old, but usually by the time they reach their seventh or eighth century–dozens of generations of humanity–elves begin to tire of the tedious routine and disruptive chaos of waking life, and so choose longer bouts of reverie–the time elves spend in deep meditation in the realm of dreams, where their mind can wander farther. This choice helps them attain higher levels of wisdom, the cost that they begin to prefer reverie to waking life.

Humans see it rarely enough, but call this prolonged state of reverie “tree dreaming,” maybe because of their stillness, or the tales that these elves begin to experience time and awareness as the trees around them do. As their tree dreams extend, their bodies require less and less in terms of food, water and normal bodily functions. Early on in the process these elves can still wake or be awoken, but the more and longer they tree dream, the harder it is for elves to return.

As Pyria explained to Dav and Elric once they’d gained her trust, elves can tree dream anywhere, but for obvious reasons it is only safe to do under ideal circumstances. For this reason aged elves retire to holy oak groves, forests tended by elven acolytes. The acolytes keep tabs on elves who tree dream here, and when elves reach the final dream, the eternal reverie, an acorn from a primordial oak is planted in their lap. The tree grows around them, sustaining their bodies, engulfing them entirely.

There are no acolytes guarding this sacred place in the realm of dreams, but that doesn’t mean these ancient elves are without protection.

“Well,” Dav whispers again as Pyria does a quick circle of the tree, checking the perimeter, “what now?”

Elric stares up into the thick, luminescent branches of the mighty oak. “I was… maybe going to pray to the Storm God for guidance?”

“He will not help you here, stormchild.”

The voice is soft, sing-song, yet somehow strikes to Elric’s heart. Dav and Elric look up at the most beautiful elf they’ve ever seen walking through the grove towards them. Her brown skin radiates a gentle light, her eyes shine silver-white from within. Thick locs of silver-white hair fall against her back or… don’t fall exactly, but float behind her. Her resplendent white robes, too, seem to whisper through the air, as if floating in water.

Pyria appears beside her companions again, kneeling, bow laid at her feet. Elric takes a knee, doing the honour as if kneeling before a lord of Edion. Even Dav lowers his head, either out of respect, or at an inability to meet the moon goddess’ gaze.

Never, Pyria signs. I am not worthy to be in your presence.

The moon goddess lifts Pyria’s chin up, and tears stream down her face. “My children are always welcome here, silent one,” the goddess murmurs affectionately. “I wouldst offer to heal your scars, but I have cultivated your dreams, and fended off your nightmares. I know you keep them. You are worthy here, but your companions…”

“I… I’m half-elf,” Dav tries for insolence, but his tone simply comes off as a petulant child. “So I’m at least half-worthy.”

The goddess gives him a withering look, “I have seen your dreams, child, as I see all dreams. I know what you dream of for my children, your half-brothers and sisters.”

Dav bows his head again.

“And you, stormchild,” the goddess turns her gaze on Elric. He stays kneeled, and she does not move to uplift him. “I have seen your dreams, which have brought you here.”

“My dreams are not only my own, they are for all of my people,” Elric says, although he admits. “This one would see something returned to my family.”

“And spill the blood of my children,” the goddess continues, but it’s a statement of fact, not a judgement. “I may be an elven god, but my domain is all dreams. I am not unsympathetic to your plight, and clearly you have the sympathy of the Dreamweaver.”

She glances down at the large silver-white cat, which is brushing against her leg. She smiles, and never had any mortals gazed on a smile so beautiful.

“That cat is the Dreamweaver?!” Dav asks.

“Cats sit and watch over dreamers as they sleep, so I needed one who could teach them to weave dreams and protect dreamers from nightmares.”

The cat meets Elric’s gaze. The prince could swear he sees amusement in the Dreamweaver’s mismatched eyes as the cat licks his lips hungrily.

“Moon Goddess,” Elric intones, “I do not wish to hurt your children, but their subjugation, their destruction of my people’s culture… ”

She nods, “My children are just that… children. However we try to guide them, they do what they think necessary, as do you, stormchild.”

The goddess strides slowly, elegantly, breezing between Dav and Elric. She reaches out to the tree and lifts a silver, floating strand, no longer than a palm from wrist to fingertips. She wafts the strand with her hand, and it floats over towards Elric. He stands and reaches up, cupping the dream in his hands.

He has a flash of dream… of memory? One that seems to stretch out slowly, time different in the dream or memory of an elf. He sees a handsome, golden-skinned elven man standing over a silver-blue sword. The elf reaches out and the sword crackles with lightning energy, shocking him. He withdraws, surprised and amused, making a note in a ledger before moving the blade, with a special cloth, into a magical lockbox, walking out of the room. He walks through the streets of Loclanthear, unfamiliar ones to Elric, the elven quarter, ledger in hand, before he reaches the elven archives. Elric watches as the elven man walks deep into the archives and places the book on a shelf.

Elric comes to in the chambers he shares with Dav, his partner. Pyria is sitting on the floor nearby, slowly coming out of her trance. Dav crawls across the bed to Elric’s side, looking expectantly. They’ve woken up. They’ve been in their chambers the whole time, all of it a dream. The Hanged Man, the winter path, the shadow spider fight in the forest, the oak grove. Elric looks up and sees a silver-white tail disappearing out the window.

He knows where the book is, which knows where the sword is. The sword of his forefathers. The Stormblade. Only those who wield the Stormblade have the right to call themselves Stormlord, ruler of Edion. And now Elric knows where this weapon of legend is, his dream for his people.

He leans in and kisses Dav.

&

The moon hangs bright and heavy in the overcast night sky, casting a silver halo on the clouds. Thorncliffe glitters with the hundreds of Christmas lights. Even a lot of families who don’t celebrate still put up Christmas lights, to join in the festivities and delight their kids.

Kaidan points up at the moon as we head out of his lowrise onto the main streets to catch the bus to Broadview. “That’s called a Cold Moon! When the solstice and full moon match up. It’s not going to happen again until 2094, isn’t that wild?”

“Well, I hear 92 is the new 82 in ’94,” Lucy quips.

Lucy and I let Kaidan and Alyssa trail behind us. Kaidan’ll be gone for a week to visit family in Vancouver. I’m glad we got in one last session before he leaves. I love playing with them, but it also means we all got to spend time together. Alyssa misses Kaidan more than anyone, not only because they’re dating, but because he’s the only one we know outside of her family that knows ASL. Lucy and I have picked up a little over the years, but not enough to carry on a full conversation when we hang out.

Lucy is quieter than usual; usually we’ll spend the walk back all talking about the session, with Kaidan smiling his enigmatic DM smile all the way. As we walk up the street towards the Tim Hortons on the corner, all I can hear is the crunch of the snow under our feet and our own ragged, frozen breaths.

“Elric,” Lucy says, his tone more serious than usual. My heart starts to beat again, though I don’t know why. Maybe I’m afraid he’s going to tell me something bad, like he can’t play D&D anymore… or is he moving away?! No… no, he would have told me already, Lucy and I don’t keep secrets from each other. We tell each other everything. “Elric, you’re my best friend.”

I feel my face flush. I’ve never been great in these kinds of situations. As we’ve watched all the people around us start dating each other, breaking up with each other, confessing crushes through friends, or over Messenger or Snapchat, Lucy’s been the only one other than me who’s not bothered. Sure, there aren’t a lot of gay guys in our school, but Lucy’s just also… different than that. He’s a feminist, after all. He’s always saying guys are garbage.

“Uh, yeah.”

“I… love spending time with you. Kaidan and Alyssa too, but you more than anyone. I never want that to change,” he says, looking at me sheepishly. This isn’t the Lucy I know, I start to panic. Something big is coming. It starts to dawn on me what it is.

“Okay.”

We’ve crossed the street at Overlea and Thorncliffe Park, and we stand inside the bus shelter. We’ve left Alyssa and Kaidan outside to say bye and make out. Lucy gets close to me, I can feel his soft breath on my neck. I shiver. He reaches out his arms and hugs me.

“I know, like, you’re ace or whatever. You’re still figuring that out.”

I nod. Ace, or demisexual, or gray A. I don’t know. I’m weird, nothing feels right. There’s not a right word for me. Everyone at school seems obsessed with sex, and I like the idea… but I just haven’t been able to figure out where I fit in. Still, suddenly I have a picture of Lucy and I making out like Alyssa and Kaidan do… and I don’t mind the thought.

“But, like, when you like someone it all just sort of clicks and you can’t think of anything else.”

Lucy leans in, looking me in the eye expectantly. I gulp.

“Uh huh.”

“Elric,” he whispers, grinning. “Brad and I are dating.”

I stare. Brad Pines, one of the hockey players. There’d been rumours about him getting caught making out with some guy in middle school, but then he’d beat up a kid everyone called gay. That kid ended up transferring schools, Brad ended up on the hockey team.

“Oh.”

Lucy takes his phone out of his pocket and shakes it, “We’ve fooled around a bit for a couple of months, but I was asking my sister how to ask him out, and he said yes!” He looks at his phone like its the only thing in the world that matters, unable to stop himself from grinning. “He’s not out yet, so I’m not going to tell many people, but I had to tell you. You’re my best friend.”

I nod, “Cool. Uh… that’s great.”

Lucy hugs me tight, then lets go. “C’mon, we should go say bye to Kaidan before the bus comes.”

He leaves me standing in the bus shelter, staring at a pile of slush in the street with a Tim Hortons cup sticking out of it, lit silver-white by the bright full moon. I realize I’m not just shivering, I’m trembling, nervous for something that was never going to happen.

In D&D I’m a heroic prince, a powerful storm cleric who’s working to free his people from elven occupation. But in real life I’m a loser who’s just realized he’s in love with his best friend.