Jennifer Crusie's Blog, page 97

This is a Good Word

I was reading about libraries that keep bats on site to eat the insects that would otherwise eat the books, and I came across a new word (well, new to me) for bats: flittermice. I purely love that word.

And it reminded me of when I was in Australia and somebody described somebody who was extremely happy about something that had happened as “chuffed as fluffy balls.” I purely loved that, too.

And then there’s “gobsmacked.” I have no idea where I picked that one up, but it’s a perfect way to describe somebody who’s absolutely stunned by what’s just happened.

Sometimes the Good Word comes from an associate who surprises you with it and then you wonder how you ever lived without it. “Clusterfuck” comes to mind for that one (and thank you, Bob Mayer).

And then it occurred to me that Argh People, being extremely word-oriented, probably had some great Good Words, too. So share the wealth, people. Put your Very Good Words in the comments (with definitions) so we can all feel chuffed as flittermice about them, especially the ones that leave us gobsmacked (that would be “tittynopes” or the last few crumbs or grains of rice left on a plate, and I still don’t believe that’s a real word, that has to be a joke).

This is a Good Book Thursday, May 20, 2021

I’ve been reading a lot of Book Bub blurbs and sample chapters on Amazon, and I’m starting to worry about the romance genre. It seems to be falling into specific subgenres, which is nothing new, but these new subgenres are . . . perplexing? Let me be more specific.

Women who have shattering orgasms with incredibly good-looking athletes (I keep thinking, steroids, don’t those affect performance?), women who go to a small town on the beach (are there small towns on beaches? Don’t those fill up with rich people pretty fast?) to save a bakery or a bed-and-breakfast (there’s my idea of hell, saving a bed-and-breakfast) and have shattering orgasms with local law enforcement/bartenders/firefighters/etc, women who discover their dates are shapeshifters, presumably NOT while have shattering orgasms (and not just wolves; I’ve seen blurbs for polar bears and honey badgers which I though was ridiculous until I thought of some of the guys in my past and then the whole secret-honey-badger thing made sense), and that’s before we get to the can-he-protect-her-while-giving-her-shattering-orgasms category (usually with a “can-he-let-her-go” garnish that says “This book is actually about him, she’s just the gift-with-purchase-of-a-gun”) and the virgin-who-needs-a-guy-to-give-her-shattering-orgasms (really? It’s 2021 and we’re still using virginity as a hook?).

The more I read, the more I want to subvert. A woman who goes out with an athlete and doesn’t come; a woman who shuts down a rat-infested bakery in a bed-and-breakfast run by a serial killer, a woman who shoots the guy who says he can protect because he tells her he’s not sure he can let her go (that’s kidnapping, you jerk, she gets to leave if she wants to). Okay, the one I really want to write is the one with the honey badger. I looked them up. They look like weasels, they have a thick skin, their skin is loose enough that they can turn around inside it to bite the animal who gets close, they drop stink bombs when annoyed, and they’ll attack anything. They also appear to be wearing toupees. Yeah, that’s a love interest I could work with. Wait. No, no I couldn’t.

Okay, maybe a honey-badger shapeshifter who’s a retired hockey player who hires the virgin heroine to be a baker at his bed-and-breakfast located in a small town on the beach (he’s the reason it’s a small town) where they have lousy sex because he’s a freaking honey badger.

Never mind.

Where was I?

I did a lot of sample reading and re-reading old favorites this weekend. What did you read?

Note: After I wrote this, I went looking for that honey badger shapeshifter book and found out that it’s a tongue-in-cheek romance where the heroine is mixed race–honey badger and wolf–and the hero is a grizzly. Most of the reviews were very favorable, but there was one that complained about unhealthy relationship dynamics that took me aback. What could possibly go wrong between a wolfish honey badger and a grizzly bear?

Working Wednesday, May 19, 2021

I’m packing up books (remember them, the ones with paper and ink?) and storing them in the garage in nicely labeled boxes because this house is about to sink under its own weight. Next up: Yarn. Dear god, all the yarn.

What did you work on this week?

Free Virtual Event on Real Happiness

The Atlantic is hosting a virtual event on happiness (doesn’t a virtual meeting on happiness seem like an oxymoron, like military intelligence>) this coming Thursday:

“In just one week, The Atlantic will host a free virtual event that explores what it takes to be happy and how to build a more meaningful life.

“On Thursday, May 20, from 11 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. ET, hear from happiness experts such as Deepak Chopra, the founder of The Chopra Foundation; Angela Duckworth, the founder and CEO of Character Lab; and the author and podcast host Gretchen Rubin.

“Here are just a few sessions you can join once you register:

“The Science of Happiness” with the Harvard professor and “How to Build a Life” columnist Arthur C. Brooks and The Atlantic’s editor in chief Jeffrey Goldberg
“Revisiting ‘Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?’” with the psychology professor Jean Twenge and Atlantic staff writer Alexis Madrigal
“Navigating Loneliness Amid a Pandemic” with the U.S. Surgeon General Vivek H. Murthy and Atlantic staff writer James Hamblin
“The Role of Faith” with the global spiritual leader and humanitarian T. D. Jakes and staff writer Emma Green
Plus, you’ll get to enjoy a morning barre3 class, a Headspace guided meditation, a live performance from Jordan Fisher and the Global Company of Dear Evan Hansen, and much more. See the entire agenda.

“Register today to reserve your spot and receive tips and resources, like happiness exercises from Arthur Brooks and a curated reading list, sent to you before the event.”

Details are here..

How were you virtually happy this week? (Any kind of happy, really.)

[Full disclaimer: I have no idea if this will be helpful or not. My murder mystery party class is looking good, though.]

The Smirk

For those of you wondering what a smirk looks like . . .

Not an attractive look, even back then. (Also google images for “smirk.” It’s interesting.)

The image is from The Graphics Fairy, a great place to find free graphic images.

The Jennifer Crusie Method for Story Writing

RWA has a new writing series for new romance writers called from Pen to Paper, and I just did a phone interview for it with the wonderful Erin Novotny. She wanted to know my process (stop laughing, you loons, have some respect) so I wrote up a quick outline which I’m including below. I think the interview is mostly us laughing, so the outline is probably more coherent.

The Jennifer Crusie Method for Story Writing
(Not Efficient, Fast, or Logical; Not Really Recommended)

Idea:
I read or watch something that provokes a story idea.
I turn it around in my head until (a) I get tired of it or (b) people start talking in my brain
If (b), I start writing down conversations until (a) I realize it’s going nowhere or (b) it takes off.
If (b), I have a story.

Discovery Draft
If (b), I keep writing until I have at 30,000 to 70,000 words done, the more the better.
This draft is just to find out what the story is about, so anything goes and nobody reads it but me.

Core Conflict
Eventually, I get to a point where I have to pinpoint what the hell this book is about.
Who’s the protagonist? What does he/she/they want?
Who’s the antagonist? What does he/she/they want?
How do those goals cross? Good time to do a conflict box.
The “what do they want?” questions are pretty much all the character work I do; no long sheets about eye color or what happened when they were children because I don’t care; I want to know what they want now, what they’re actively doing about it, and why (motivation).

Outline/Plan
Then I write down the scenes I have in scene sequence lists, trying to keep things tied to that core conflict. A big white board is a HUGE help here.
I find the major turning point scenes (always action, never thinking) for plot and character (main and subplots, main and important supporting characters) in the scene lists. There are usually five turning points for me: Beginning (Stability Broken), Things Get Worse, Point of No Return, Crisis, Climax, followed by the resolution that shows stability regained (not the same stability as at the beginning).
The four chunks of text between those turning points are Acts, each shorter than the last, escalating sections of story that end in the turning points; the turning points turn the story in new directions, making each section a new story because Things Have Changed. A good way to see the relationships among the acts is to give each act its own title; if the titles together sound like an escalating series of related stories, your structure is probably all right.
One important thing here is to pick a lane. If you’re writing a romance/caper plot, pick one to be your main plot, and one to be your subplot.

Rewrite:
And then I rewrite over and over and over again, cutting anything that doesn’t contribute to the core narrative.

Theme:
When I have a complete or almost complete draft, I go back to “What the hell is this book about?” This time, it’s “What is the underlying, general, non-specific idea about the human condition that runs as a spine under the entire narrative?” Lajos Egri’s “X leads to X” is a good template: “Risking leads to connection.” Big caveat: This is not a moral. It can be “Crime doesn’t pay” or “Crime does pay.” It’s just a general statement about the human condition.

Rewrite Some More:
Then I go back and rewrite to make sure actions, turning points, characters all connect to that theme, subplots echo or act as a foil to that theme. (I told you this wasn’t efficient.)

Beta Reads:
When I have a complete focused draft, I give it to beta readers for their feedback on what’s wrong only, not specific suggestions on how to fix; i.e. not “this needs a dog” or “your protagonist needs to smile more” but “this feels a little cold emotionally.”

Rewrite Some More:
Then I rewrite again. Lotta rewrites until I can’t stand it anymore and send it to my agent. Who usually has feedback, and if I agree, I rewrite some more. Then she sends it to an editor who has feedback, and if I agree, I rewrite some more. Then the galleys arrive and I find new things and I rewrite some more, which is necessary but annoying because usually by then, I’ve had another Idea . . .

Most Important Thing:
Nobody can write your book but you. Nobody knows your book like you do. If anybody asks you to do something to your book that doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. If the method outlined above sounds awful to you, don’t use it. There is no one right way for anybody except to stay true to her/his/their story as they know it.

This is a Good Book Thursday, May 13, 2021

Read some new books but nothing I’d recommend with enthusiasm. Reread a lot of Georgette Heyer, whom I can recommend with enthusiasm. Also read a lot about my new phone which is so freaking complicated it took me two days to find the phone app (shouldn’t that be the first screen and not the camera?) and then another two days to find the hoop to jump through to find my voice mail. I need another Heyer just to calm down.

What did you read this week?

Working Wednesday, May, 11, 2021

So I have a new project. This is really to distract me from meddling in Bob’s Shane book because I have Ideas that he doesn’t need (although he’s polite about it). I have a WiP that I’m determined to finish some day; it’s called You Again and it’s my Golden-Age-people-trapped-in-a-snowstorm-and-somebody-dies book. SMP turned it down (because it was a mess) and Bob once tried to save it–I remember getting e-mails as he read through it that said, “Okay, this has problems, but we can fix it,” to “This is going to take a lot of rewriting,” to “What the hell did you do to this?” so it’s not an easy fix. But then Atlas Obscuraa is offering a class starting tonight on how to write a murder mystery party (not a book) and I thought, “What if the people trapped in You Again were at a murder mystery party and the fake corpse turned up really dead?” So I signed up for the course. It’s five weeks, so maybe in five weeks I’ll have enough of a grasp on the plot and done enough of rewriting that You Again will be alive again. At least I’ll stop harassing Bob about Shane. Oh, and I cleaned up more soot and threw out half my kitchen. I’m going to be cleaning soot until fall, at least.

What did you do this week?

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Argh Re-Reads: Georgette Heyer

When interviewers used to ask who my inspirations for writing were, I’d say, “Georgette Heyer and Dorothy Parker.” I think that’s still pretty accurate. I loved the liquidity of their writing, the smooth flow of words that let the emotions flow through, the fun of the story over the depth of the meaning. And I loved their humor, not obvious slapstick jokey stuff but subtle plays of language and character, the way they both looked clear-eyed at the insanity of their societies. The difference between them? Parker was acidic, scathingly funny in her indictments but with a sharp edge. Heyer was softer, wrapping everything in the promise of a happy ending for her emotionally healthy characters. They both wrote at roughly the same time although Heyer set her romances in the past, but Parker sat back with her cutting edge while Heyer leaned in and laughed her way through bouncing love stories. I wondered at one time if that wasn’t because Parker was American and Heyer was British, but I’m sure it was also just part of their personalities. Somebody once described Parker as a cross between Little Nell and Lady Macbeth, while Heyer always seemed to me to be the embodiment of one of her book titles: a Lady of Quality. Of the two, which one do I reread? Heyer, of course. If I’m needing a reread, I want that happy ending.

Georgette Heyer wrote her first novel at nineteen and never looked back. At twenty-nine she decided that publicity was a waste and stopped giving interviews; my take on that is that by then everybody knew who she was since she was immensely popular. In 1932, she wrote her first mystery, Footsteps in the Dark, which she later asked her publisher to stop reprinting because she didn’t like it. (I would stop Sizzle from being reprinted if I could [I can’t] so I have big Heyer envy here.). Or as Heyer put it, “I do not claim it as a major work,” which is reassuring because it’s the one mystery of hers I don’t like. She also wrote a book she knew her publishers would dislike–Penhallow–because she wanted them to refuse it to get out of a contract (this is a bad idea). Aside from those two, Heyer is a reliably good writer, and an especially good reread.

My favorites have fluctuated over the years, but for right now, in no particular order . . .

The Grand Sophy will always be on my faves list, with its spectacular protagonist (I named the heroine of Welcome to Temptation after her) and nicely twisty romance plot. Mostly it’s great because Sophy is so active and Charles is so strong that their conflicts are always between two equals. Plus there’s the family of vivid personalities and that need to see things put right for them, which Sophy sails in and does with great flair. Big caveat: There’s a scene of rabid anti-Semitism when Sophy goes to see a money-lender to save Hubert; I skip that part. The rest of the book is pure gold, especially Sophy’s Rube-Goldberg plan to rearrange all the romantic entanglements at the end. It also has one of my favorite romance lines of all time, underscoring the unspoken romance between Sophy and Charles; when a friend of Sophy’s says, “. .. heaven preserve me from marriage with her,” another friend says, “If heaven did not, I fancy Rivenhall would.” It’s that kind of observation from outside that reinforces how strong the attraction is.

The Talisman Ring is a romance that puts the young, gorgeous, romantic couple in the subplot and focuses on the older man and woman who have lost their illusions (the woman cheerfully embracing her freedom) and then find their soulmates in each other. The story is full of adventure with Heyer’s usual great and varied characters including a great Bad Guy, but it’s the wit and intelligence of the romance between Sarah and Tristram that brings me back; his proposal at the end is one my favorites; her reply to that proposal is my absolute favorite.

Cotillion is fun to read unless you’re a romance writer; then it’s a revelation and a role model in how to arc a love story. Kitty is in love with her cousin Jack, but . . . you know what? If you haven’t read this yet, I’m not going to give anything away because the thing I remember most about the first time I read this is that I had the same emotional arc that Kitty did as she fell in love. And the book has another Heyer perfect ending.

False Colours is about twins (I know, I know), one of whom goes missing right before his engagement party, so his brother, identical in almost every way, steps in and meets his twin’s fiancee in the midst of her family, fast on his feet because he’s smart, careful, and a diplomat. Problem is, the fiancee is a darling and not at all sure she wants to marry the twin until she meets our hero . . . It’s one of those stories that could be a Big Misunderstanding and never is because Kit and Cressy are too smart for that and too good for each other. It’s another in the Heyer series of quiet lovers; while drama rages around them, they just look at each other with clear eyes and fall in love.

Fredrica has one of the best subtle romance arcs I’ve ever read. Our heroine is trying to get her extremely beautiful younger sister into a secure marriage, and calls on a distant relative (very distant) in hopes that his wife will introduce the sister to society. Unfortunately for her but fortunately for the plot, the distant relative–handsome, powerful, and rich as all hell–is not married, but fortunately his encroaching sisters have been pressuring him to give a ball for their daughters; one look at the lovely little sister and our hero agrees to help as payback to his sisters since the younger sister’s extraordinary beauty will dominate the ball. It’s a thin-end-of-the-wedge plot; once he says yes to the ball, he’s increasingly drawn into the family’s turmoil: the youngest son’s thirst for scientific knowledge and experience and catastrophe, the middle son’s passion for horses and over-conscientiousness, the family dog’s penchant for trouble, and the older sister’s . . . well, everything about the older sister. Like The Grand Sophy, this one is all about a big family that just needs a little help. Plus there’s that dog. Any book is better with a dog (see also Arabella).

Heyer wrote over fifty books, bless her, so this doesn’t even begin to showcase her talents. (See The Unknown Ajax, Black Sheep, Sylvester or The Wicked Uncle, Friday’s Child, Venetia . . . ). I highly recommend Georgette Heyer for comfort rereads in romance.

Note: The Book Club Review’s essay on Heyer asks a great question: If you were a Heyer heroine, which one would you be? (Me: The Grand Sophy, hands down.). (They also ask which hero you’d choose, but since Heyer is a master of the competence porn hero, it’s just too hard to choose.)

Happiness is Living Through Motherhood

Happy Mother’s Day to everybody who is surviving the experience.

One of my earliest memories of motherhood was when my tiny little daughter who was too young to talk yet crawled all the way to the top of the stairs in the two seconds I took my eyes off her, and then when I called her name, turned to look and fell all the way to the bottom. My latest memory? Talking to her on the phone last night about surviving motherhood (hers) and life in general and hearing about her three terrific children, none of whom has fallen down the stairs that I know of. As if that weren’t enough on her plate, she mothers me. Guess she’s forgotten the stair debacle.

Call your mother, Argh. (Not necessarily the person who gave birth to you. You know, the person who mothers you. That one. Call her. Or him. Or them. Pick up that phone.)