Jennifer Crusie's Blog, page 6

Happiness is Redefining Special

The NYT had an essay on happiness procrastination, the idea that people hold off on doing things they know will make them happy because (one reason) “it’s not the right time” or “I’m saving this for a special occasion.” They get a great bottle of wine and save it even though they’d get much pleasure from opening it now. They get a new dress and save it for a special party, and then wait for a special party to happen. (Do you know how many Easter Sunday dresses I wore one time as a child? Because I kept growing.) They’ve got a crave for birthday cake, but they won’t make one because it isn’t anybody’s birthday. (It’s always somebody’s birthday; check on Wikipedia and celebrate whoever was born now.) We’re withholding happiness from ourselves and don’t ever realize we’re doing it because we want the thing that makes us happy to happen at a special time.

If you think about it, that’s nuts.

What’s the solution? Just knowing that we’re doing it may highlight how crazy it is to conserve happiness. (AKA, this blog post.) Happiness isn’t like money, you don’t have to budget it. Look around at the things you’re not indulging yourself in because it’s not the right time and decide it is the right time. If you’re waiting for a special day, decide that this day is special because the sun came up, because the woods down the road did not catch fire, because you cleaned the bathroom, you special person, and then open that wine, put on that dress, go out to dinner, whatever is it that you’ve been putting off, stop punishing yourself and give yourself the happiness you deserve.

Me, I’m going to make brownies (sugar free) that I’ve been promising myself for weeks and eat them with vanilla ice cream (no sugar added) because this week wqs special: I survived it, and survivors get brownies.

How were you happy this week? And as long as we’re on the subject, what have you been happiness budgeting on and how are you going to rush headfirst into delight this week instead?

This is a Good Book Thursday, the Heyer Edition

Krissie and I were talking about rereading books and she mentioned Heyer, and we listed our favorites, and that got me off mysteries and onto Heyer romances again. The Grand Sophy (of course), Venetia, and The Quiet Gentleman, so far, chosen pretty much at random, but so many other favorites to go, while I press on to finish The Book That Still Doesn’t Have a Title. Argh.

What did you read this week?

Working Wednesday: I Have the Master!

Bob was called out of town until Friday, so I have the master of the current book until Saturday! I am feeling very powerful, especially since Bob added to it and it’s now at 82,000 words. I was afraid it was going to be short, but that’s about 18,000 words for a final act, and that we can do. Very happy about work this week!

What did you work on?

This is a Good Book Thursday, the Allingham Edition

Having read my way through Gilbert, this week I’m glomming Margery Allingham. Bob wants to finish the first book in the series (we really need to get titles for these) by Sunday, so I’m escaping into pre-war England in the hours when I’m not YECing up a museum murder mystery. My head is about to explode.

What did you read this week?

Happiness is Eggs at Midnight

You know how sometimes you just want something simple late at night? Like eggs. Scrambled, sunny-side, over easy, doesn’t matter, they’re all fast easy protein that you can knock off in minutes while staring out the window at the stars. There’s something about that that seems both healthy and sort of illicit. That’s what made me happy last night.

What made you happy this week?

This is a Good Book Thursday: Poetry and Decency Edition

I’m still working my way through my Michael Gilbert mysteries (Smallbone Deceased, The Body of a Girl, The End House, anything with Calder and Behrens or Patrick Petrella). I think the thing that’s drawing me to him right now is that he was such a decent man and that pervades his stories. Some of his mysteries are violent with horrible people in them, but his spies and detectives are all such good, hardworking people, there’s such a core of basic moral decency, not judgment or priggishness, just a firm conviction of how good people behave, how good people treat each other, not because of money or fame or power, but because the foundation of human life is that we’re decent to each other. It’s a very Second Coming time right now, with the worst full of passionate intensity, so to have Gilbert telling story after story about every day people doing every day good is an incredible comfort.

Also a comfort: A book on reading poetry turned up on BookBub this week, and it led me into two other books on looking at words and feeling them, and that was absolutely lovely.

What did you read this week?

Working Wednesday: Thinking About Series

Bob and I are doing our third three-book series, and I’m starting to finally relax into that process. They’re all hard, but the first one is hardest, not just because we’re setting everything up while telling a story, but because there’s so much I don’t know, and I panic. But the thing is, we won’t know what these books are about until we finish the first draft of the last one. We can’t know, one of the major reasons for writing stories is find out what’s been lurking beneath our frontal lobes. (Increased degree of difficulty: Two very different frontal lobes.) I scream, “It’s not there yet!” and Bob says, “Chill and keep writing,” and he’s right. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Enjoy the journey, Jenny.

What did you work on this week?

Happiness is a Low Bar

You know, it’s good to stop sometimes and say, “Why?”

I have so many Musts in my life, all of them put there by me, and I never stop to think about them, they’re just things I have to do. Like get my Argh posts up by 5AM. Today, I realized it was Sunday and thought, “Oh, hell, I screwed up again.” But today for the first time, I thought, “Why?” Who cares if this goes up at 5AM; nobody’s waiting with bated breath for a happiness post. Or any Argh post. (Well, maybe, TGBT.) It’s a beautiful day, my dog is happy, the book I’m working on is going well, I have excellent friends and really nice clothes (been cleaning closets) and enough food to keep me going for a week (well, the ice cream is running low), why the hell am I blanketing all that good stuff with gloom because I missed a self-imposed deadline?

I’m safe and healthy, my family and friends are safe and mostly healthy, my dog is perfect, my writing partner has not threatened to rip our book from my hands (yet), the sun is shining, for crap’s sake, Jenny, stop raining on your own parade.

How did you lower the bar for happiness to sane levels this week?

This is a Good Book Thursday: The Lazy Summer Edition

This week I read polite, wonderful English mysteries (Leave it to Psmith, Michael Gilbert mysteries) and ate sugar free popsicles. Nothing like careful murderers and flavored ice in ninety-degree temps.

What did you cool off reading (and eating/drinking) this week?

Working Wednesday: The Third Act Edition

I’m working on the third act of the book that still doesn’t have a title (is that a bad sign?) and I forgot it was Wednesday. That’s okay, I don’t know what day it is in the book, either. Note to self: Get your act together.

What did you work on this week?