Jennifer Crusie's Blog, page 240

Cherry Saturday 2-13-2016

Today is Get a Different Name Day.

Which always reminds me of the time when Mollie was five and decided she wanted to be called Cindy. I still have no idea why, and she’s not explaining.

(Also, the urge to fill in the above blank with “Inigo Montoya, prepare to die” was damn near irresistible.)

The post Cherry Saturday 2-13-2016 appeared first on Argh Ink.

Book Done Yet? Ten Thousand Drafts

I started wading through the old You Again drafts this week. The oldest one is from April of 2002, and I know there were scenes before I wrote that one. The sheer number of files I have for this thing is overwhelming.

See those blue folders in there? They each have another thousand drafts n them, more or less.

So I went through and pulled out all the notes and diagrams and put them in a new Notes folder. Then I put that folder and the two Curio Files in a new master folder; the Curio files are new so no garbage there, and I’ll go through the Notes folder later since probably 90% of that stuff is worthless now. At this point, I’m concentrating on actual story drafts.

For those I need four folders, Act 1, Act 2, Act 3, and Act 4. I’m going to end up with somewhere around sixty to seventy scenes, so sorting them into acts is the most efficient way to see what I’m doing, not to mention keep an eye on my escalation and pacing.

Then to figure out what scene goes in what act, I have to know my turning points, even though it’s too early to really know them for sure. And that means I have to know my major characters, protagonists and antagonists in the main plot and subplot.

So my main protagonist is Zelda. She’s never known who her father was and her mother died when she was in middle school; her mother’s best friend took her in, which was good because that meant she lived with her best friend, Scylla, who became her foster sister, but it was bad because her foster mother had a drinking problem, and Scylla and reality weren’t always close, so Zelda became the One Who Got Things Done. Now she’s in her early thirties and a complete control freak.

So the first turning point, the first scene, has to knock Zelda out of her comfort zone, crack her stable life, and set her on a scramble to put things back in order. She’ll struggle with that throughout the first act until the second turning point, her Wake-Up call when she realizes that things are not what they seemed, her stability was always an illusion, and the world is an entirely different place than she’d thought.

In between that first scene/shaken stability and turning point/wake-up call/shattered stability scene, I have to introduce all the characters, all the plots and subplots, the setting, the mood, the tone, and above all, the conflict. Which means I have to isolate the main antagonist.

So there’s the murderer. That’s always a good antagonist in a mystery. Problem is, I don’t think the murder mystery is the main plot; I think it’s a subplot, although that may be because I find the murder the least interesting thing about this. Hmmm.

Then there’s James, the guy from her past. Problem with that is that I don’t want Moonstruck romance plot here, I want a Charade plot. Which means my love story is a compromise-and-work-together plot, working against the same antagonist, whoever the hell that is. Also, for years, I had James as a lawyer, and then I made him a hostage negotiator, so I have to pick a lane there.

There’s Scylla, but she’s got her own subplot that’s turned by Zelda’s plot, plus her love story subplot. Not the major antagonist, more of a minion in Rose’s conflict with Zelda, but since she’ll stick with Zelda no matter what, she’s not really a threat, more of a burden.

And there’s Rose, the matriarch, Zelda’s godmother, the person she trusts least in the world. I think Rose might be the antagonist except that I don’t see that supporting the entire book. She’s definitely the person who brings Zelda into her conflict, and they struggle all through the story, but I don’t see Rose as the Big Bad Zelda has to fight at the climax.

So okay, start again. Look at the plots and subplots:

Zelda vs. James: Romance plot.

Zelda vs Rose: Control freak plot, the struggle to define Zelda’s future

Zelda vs Scylla: Balance plot, adjusting their relationship. A minor subplot that’s really as aspect of the bigger Zelda vs. Rose struggle.

Zelda vs. the murderer: Mystery plot; echoes control freak plot with the murderer as a doppelganger antagonist.

Zelda vs. Charlie: more of a complication than a subplot

James vs. Rose: Another determining-the-future plot, just not as fraught as Zelda’s since James isn’t as rigid as Zelda, he just calmly retains control of his life and lets everything else wash over him. So the conflict here is more water on rock, Rose trying to wear him down. Definitely a subplot.

James vs. Mike: echoes the Zelda/Scylla plot in power imbalance, really more of a factor of the James vs. Rose plot.

Scylla vs Quentin: subplot that echoes? reverses? the Zelda/James romance? I know this subplot, I’m just not sure how it makes a pattern with Zelda’s plot yet.

Scylla vs. Mike: more of a factor in the Scylla vs Quentin subplot.

My instinct is to make Rose the antagonist. Rose is what Zelda will become if she doesn’t loosen her grip on her life and the lives of those around her. But I don’t see a big cathartic climax in Zelda vs. Rose. The big cathartic climax is Zelda vs. the murderer. But I also don’t see any way to get the murderer into that first scene, even as a mention.

Gotta pick a lane here. Zelda vs. Rose, Zelda vs. the murderer. Make the other a major subplot along with the romance plot.

Then Scylla vs. Quentin . . .

ARGH. Okay, some of those conflicts are complications not major plots; fold them into the big plots:

Main Plot: Zelda vs. Rose which includes Zelda vs. Scylla, James vs. Rose, and James vs. Mike as complications.

Main Plot: Zelda vs. the murderer, which includes the romance plot and Zelda vs. Charlie as complications.

Romance Plot: Zelda vs. James

Subplot: Scylla vs. Quentin, which includes Scylla vs. Mike as a complication.

So all I need to do is pick a lane among those four, and the rest become subplots.

Gotta be the murder plot.

The other plots are too soft to sustain the whole novel, they deal in character not action, end in compromise not catharsis. They’re vital to the story, but they’re not the story engine.

I have no idea how to get that antagonist into the first scene.

Right now the set-up is WAY too long:

Zelda vs. Scylla in the drive to Rosemore (introduces Rose on the page, James and Mike by reference)

Zelda vs. Rose at Rosemore (Zelda and Rose’s back story, Rose’s plan)

James vs. Primmie in his law office. (Francis on the page, Mike by phone call, Ruby and Evan by reference.

Scylla vs. Quentin in the Rosemore kitchen, Plum on the page.

James vs. Mike in the drive to Rosemore, Ruby and Evan on the page, Primmie either by reference or on the page, depending on which draft.

Zelda vs. Quentin: This just introduces Zelda to Quentin, has to do more.

Zelda vs. Scylla, Rosemore kitchen, Quentin on the page

Zelda vs.Rose/Inglethorpes, Rosemore living room

Zelda vs. James, Rosemore hallway

and a ton more because I was just following my nose.

So revised outline of beginning:

1. Zelda vs. Scylla in the drive to Rosemore (introduces Rose on the page, James and Mike by reference) Zelda starts out calm and in control, ends angry. Set up Zelda’s goal, expectation of James as love interest.

James vs. Primmie in his law office. (Francis on the page, Mike by phone call, Ruby and Evan by reference.

2. James vs. Mike in the drive to Rosemore, Ruby and Evan on the page, Primmie either by reference or on the page, depending on which draft. James starts out in control, going to drop everybody off at Rosemore and go home, ends up with his stability shaken, going to stay the night. Set up expectation of Zelda as love interest.

3. Zelda vs. Rose at Rosemore (Zelda and Rose’s back story, Rose’s plan) Zelda starts out furious and defiant, ends even angrier and defeated. Reinforce James as love interest. Zelda is key to Rose’s goal. Get Liam in there, even if he’s just passing through. Maybe Alice and Isolde here, too?

4. Scylla vs. Quentin in the Rosemore kitchen, Plum on the page. Scylla starts out determined, revises plans as she deals with Quentin, ends determined. Flexible in contrast to Zelda in previous scene. Reinforce James as love interest. Zelda is key to Scylla’s goal.

5.Zelda vs. Quentin: This just introduces Zelda to Quentin, has to do more.

6. Zelda vs. Scylla, Rosemore kitchen, Quentin on the page. Zelda recalibrates stability, Scylla stonewalls her.

7. Zelda vs. Rose/Inglethorpes/Alice/Isolde, Rosemore living room. Not sure of Zelda’s arc here; right now it’s just people sniping at each other. All the Inglethorpes on the page.

8. Zelda vs. James, Rosemore hallway. Pay off expectation.

Eight scenes to get Zelda and James together. Romance is definitely a subplot, but it fuels the other plots because so many other people invest in it. Eight scenes is somewhere between ten and fifteen thousand words, and that’s a long time for just beginning set-up before the rest of the first act kicks into gear.

But that does get all the characters in, either present on the page or by reference:

Zelda and James

Scylla and Mike and Quentin

Rose and Lily and Liam

The Inglethorps: Malcolm, Mary, Nora, Primmie, Mike, Ruby and Evan

Alice and Isolde

Well, it’s a place to start. So the Act 1 folder will have folders for those eight scenes, plus a rest-of-the-act folder for any other scenes, trashing any versions of the deleted scenes. Then I can set up scene sequence folders and I’ll have the beginnings of a plot.

One step at a time, sweet Jesus.

The encouraging thing is that the drafts I’m finding are pretty good. Of course I kept drafting the same damn scenes over and over, and the character dynamics were ridiculously complicated, but the basics are solid. So I’m chuffed about that.

However, the same principle applies to cleaning out this stuff that applied to the office: Do not organize what’s there, figure out what I need and get rid of everything else. Which, as always, leads me back to character as embodied in structure

Also chuff-inducing: More and more I’m seeing where the juice is in the story, where it’s fun for me. I love the ghost Zelda meets, but I had their first meet at the middle turning point. Why wait that long? I moved that whole bit to the first turning point, and now that’s the place where Zelda realizes that no matter how organized she is, things are getting weirder than she can control (that the Wake-Up Call turning point for me). She’s used to be the sane one–her foster sister is the drama queen–but after that she is the only one who can talk to the ghost, so everybody else at the house except for Isolde and Alice thinks she’s suffered a traumatic injury and is hallucinating. That’s the point where her foster sister, Scylla, steps up to the reality plate (Wake-Up Call for the Scylla subplot), or as close as she can get, within spitting distance anyway, and that leads to this scene where Zelda’s trying to cope with this incredibly selfish family (not hers, the hero’s) and deal with the ghost, too, who keeps forgetting what year it was because for him, a minute ago it was 1970. Okay, THAT’s fun to write.

So I am cautiously optimistic about this. What will Scylla (foster sister) living her life as if it’s a constantly changing movie and Rose (godmother) plotting to use Zelda for her own ends and James (crush from seventeen years ago) trying to roll back time so they can pick up where they off, and the ghost actually rolling back time because he can’t figure out why the hell it’s snowing in August . . . . I could have a really good time with this book.

I just need to get my head wrapped around it. It’s clearly about time, and control, about giving up control for a control freak, but that’s not clear enough.

Getting there, though.

Now to go through those files . . . .

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.

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The Office: Week Two

Revamping content of blog and website, appalled at all the mistakes and at some of the things I wrote (BOUNDARIES, Jenny).

Struggling with dying computer, praying I can extend its life by plugging it into my monitor.

Dealing with depression over the dent in my credit card bill after ordering replacement laptop.

Trying to cowgirl up and take Wolfie into town for his Last Vet Visit. Still can’t do it.

Laundromat tomorrow for six months of bedding. (I don’t go often, but when I do, I use fourteen dryers. No, that’s not a joke, that’s the count from last time.)

Wondering what the HELL happened to my country that Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are first in line for the Republican nomination for POTUS.

Facing below zero temps this weekend in a cottage that really is not built for that. Upside: Only two days of typing with my hands under the covers.

On the plus side, the hooks Laura Resnick sent me are not only beautiful, they’re perfect for my bedroom.

Summary: The office still looks like hell. Maybe next week.

Going off to drown my tensions in Diet Coke, realizing I am still the luckiest woman I know.

Nothing but good times ahead.

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Questionable: Reversals

Cate M asked:

“What does building in a reversal mean?”



(I answered that in the comments and then thought I could do better here.)

A reversal is plot move that flips a reader/viewer’s expectation and opens up the story.

The very first scene in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series is a beautiful blonde student alone in a deserted high school hallway at night with a dark-haired boy who looks like a juvenile delinquent or worse. She’s very nervous and asks to leave, telling the boy she’s heard something, and he’s sly, moving in closer, mocking her fears. But once he’s absolutely convinced her that there’s nobody else there, she turns on him in full vamp face and rips his throat out.

That’s a reversal. The writer sets up an expectation and reverses it, which changes the scene. More important, it changes the story. That first scene says “This is a series about high school kids,” and then reverses that to say “This is a series about vampires set in a high school.” The follow up is our plucky heroine waking up in her new bedroom, packing boxes all around, ready to start a new life in a new school where there won’t be vampires like her last school . . . .

So, good reversals . . .

Have meaning. They’re not just gimmicks; the reversal itself has an impact on the reader’s perception of the story and on the story itself.

Have consequences. They change the story in permanent ways.

Make complete sense in retrospect, even more sense than the original expectation.

Are never, ever, ever Gotchas.

A Gotcha is a Bad Reversal, a fool-the-reader move in a plot that’s there to show how clever the writer is; it carries an undercurrent of “I’m smarter than you, you dummy!” Gotchas are aimed at tricking the audience, not in surprising them. They’re the writer showing off how clever he or she is, not the writer illuminating the world of the story by surprising the reader in ways that invest him or her more deeply in that world.

One of the worst Gotchas of all time was the transformation of Cordelia Chase into the Beast in Angel; the writers destroyed a much-loved character before springing the reversal, which was not illuminating but annoying and in no small way, disgusting. It was a bad reversal in almost every way, stretched across months of storytelling.

Here’s a chunk from the essay I linked that talks about a good reversal from the same writers’ room (Mutant Enemy) from the series Angel:

“Much of what makes reading or viewing enjoyable is the understanding that the reader or audience is in trusted hands, that the writers will not lie to them, make them feel stupid, or fail them in any way, so any story that relies on fooling the reader walks a very fine line. Readers want to be surprised; they don’t want to be betrayed. The brilliance of the Gotcha in “Awakening” rests on two important things: There are plenty of clues to show what’s really happening, “and the Gotcha is revealed at the end of the episode.

“Awakening” begins with the attempt to turn Angel into Angelus to get information that only the demon has. The surefire way to do this is to give Angel one moment of perfect happiness [so] they turn to a shaman who tries to put Angel into a deep dream state. But Angel disarms him—the shaman is evil of course—and reveals secret writings tattooed on the shaman’s torso (there have been stranger things in the Whedon universe) which lead them to search for a sword to kill the Beast (a little standard for ME but still possible within its boundaries), which draws them all through a Raiders-of-the-Lost-Ark -like maze (too on-the-nose, but I still bought it) to the sword which Connor gives up to Angel, calling him Dad and reconciling with him long enough to kill the Beast together (oh, come on ) and ending with all the Angel crew reconciled and happy, and Cordy telling Angel that she’d always loved him best and giving herself to him, at which point I hooted and said, “What is this, Angel’s wet dream?” which, by damn, it was. That is, the shaman had given Angel the dream so he could achieve his moment of perfect happiness—his friends reconciliation, his son’s love and Cordy in his bed—and as a result turn into Angelus. It was one of the most perfect Gotchas I’ve ever seen, the kind that earns my highest praise: “Why can’t Iwrite like that?”

Why was it so good? Because the first time I thought, Oh, come on, should have tipped me off that things weren’t real, should have prompted me to take what I knew of the Whedon universe and put together exactly what was happening. The clues were all there, which is why it was such a delight to be Gotcha-ed; they’d played fair. More important, they hadn’t destroyed character to get their effect. That is, they pushed the limits of credibility past the breaking point, but Angel was still intrinsically Angel and Cordy still intrinsically Cordy; like hypnotized subjects, they might be doing things they wouldn’t choose to do, but they weren’t doing things that their characters could not do. No character was harmed in the making of the “Awakening” Gotcha, so we could all return to the reality of the season without any damaging memories and with a much deeper understanding of Angel, who has Raiders fantasies.”

In that essay, I used Good Gotcha to mean Reversal, but I don’t think that’s right. A reversal isn’t a “gotcha,” it isn’t the writer crowing over the reader, it’s the writer pulling back layers that make the reader sit up and take another look at the story. The reversal does not make the reader feel stupid.

Here’s another perfect reversal, this one from Person of Interest. For non-PoI fans (and really, you should be), the two guys tied up are Fusco, one of Our Guys who’s also a cop, and Leon, a corrupt financial manager who’s ripped off a white supremacy group and who is the Person To Be Rescued This Week. The skinheads have captured Leon to torture the whereabouts of their money out of him, and nabbed Fusco, too, because Fusco was trying to protect him. A couple of minutes into this, the bad guys will bring in Our Hero, Reese. Watch this reversal unfold, and then think about how it made you feel as a viewer:

I love this scene for many, many reasons, but one of the biggest is that I never feel stupid. I expect the scene to arc, things to get tenser, I expect Reese to win (he almost always does), but when he wins because of the reversal, I’m elated. And the bit at the end, that whistle, means that the whole thing wasn’t the PoI writers being clever, this scene just complicated the story world by adding a dog (a GREAT dog) to a community full of damaged people, some of whom can only attach to the dog.

So good reversals surprise and delight the reader, change the story in sometimes small but always significant ways, and add layers to the story world.

They’re also hard as hell to write well, so good luck with that.

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Rethinking JennyCrusie.com

Some of you may remember the hack that brought down the website and the blog. Mollie scoured both the site and the blog clean and put them back up in their temporary minimalist state. The thing is, we both like the minimalist state, so at least until I have another novel coming out and we decide if we want to do another redesign, we’re sticking with clean and simple.

Which does not mean we’re not still working on it.

The thing about this website is that I started it almost twenty years ago, built on a software program I got cheap as a grad student at OSU. I built it before I’d ever seen a website, so as I planned it, it had thirty pages. Then I logged on and went to look at other writers’ sites and realized I had possibly overdone things. But what the hell, I uploaded it and never looked back. A couple of years later, after I’d continued to add things, Mollie looked at it and said, “This is really bad, Mom,” and took over (she knows things like code) and it became much cleaner but still full of Stuff. More years passed, more stuff got added, and when the whole thing belly-flopped, Mollie and I looked at it and said, “Maybe this should be simpler.”

So she did more revamping, this time to make it phone-and-tablet friendly, and I’ve spent tonight going through the main pages and giving her notes (and let’s have a moment of sympathy for my daughter who has to work with me). I like the simple menu across the top of the page, but I think “About” should be the first thing, and it should only have the bio on it. No pull down menu. I HATE pull down menus, especially when I’m browsing a site. Then I’m good with Novels and Short Fiction. Not sure if Non-Fiction and Essays should be separate. I think Works in Progress should be spelled out because a lot of people don’t know what WiP means, and I think I’d like a Blogs menu (I can deal with a two item pull down menu), and then the last thing should be “Everything Else” because that’s what it is. So like this:

ABOUT • NOVELS • SHORT FICTION • NON FICTION • WORKS IN PROGRESS • BLOGS • EVERYTHING ELSE

What do you think?

We’re just starting on the page content, so a lot of that is going to change. I’m thinking about cutting about half the content in Everything Else and just leaving the FAQs, the collage stuff, the recipes, and the page about titles there. What do you think?

But I did get the Works in Progress page rewritten and sent to her this morning. The rewrite that probably isn’t up yet is below, and that’s a lot of text. Do you think putting up collages in progress would help?

The page reads:

Works In Progress

“In progress” means that it could be years until these stories done. Could be never. Could be next year. The important thing is, progress is being made.

You Again

An homage to Agatha Christie, You Again is the story of how Zelda Banks gets bamboozled into spending Christmas week in a snowbound house full of ruthless people jockeying for money, power, sex, and chocolate covered cherries. The population includes her reality-challenged foster sister, Scylla; James, the boy she tried hard not to love when she was seventeen; and Rose, the matriarch who is up to no good at all. Rose has invited a medium to hold a séance because what this family really needs is people digging up their past, and the medium has brought a teenager named Alice who thinks she can talk to the dead, which comes in handy as the family starts dropping like flies. Food, sex, death, dogs, ghosts, and Christmas carols, Zelda has it all, and wants none of it. Well, Scylla can stay. And the dog. And maybe James. And the chocolate covered cherries, but that’s it.

The Liz Danger Mysteries

Liz Danger ran away from her hometown of Birney at eighteen and never went back. Now thirty-three, she’s a ghostwriter trying to get to Chicago to finish the autobiography of her current client, the five-times-married-to-famous-men Anemone Patterson, but on the way she gets stranded in Birney and has to face all the things she ran away from. Trouble ensues.

Lavender’s Blue

Liz’s car breaks down on the highway outside Birney and she’s sucked back into the town’s dysfunctional social life, including a wedding where the bride is marrying Liz’s first love and a family dispute that brings up a lot more ugly than Liz is ready for. One plus: the new cop in town, the only thing there that doesn’t have a lot of bad memories attached to him. Vince is a former big city cop, and he really likes Birney: nobody’s been murdered there since 1954. And then . . .

Rest in Pink – Anemone finally buckles down to help Liz finish that autobiography, but she likes Birney, so Liz is still stuck in her hometown. Then somebody decides that Anemone’s past should stay buried and tries to bury her along with it. Liz draws the line at somebody taking pot shots at her clients, so she’s back at work thwarting another killer. Good thing she’s dating a cop.

Peaches and Screams ~ Anemone decides to write a romance novel and that Liz will write it for her in Birney, which means Liz is stuck again. Plus it’s county-fair time, so Liz is trying to help one of her pals with a pie contest while dealing with a cop who’s making faint noises about commitment, the last thing Liz wants. Then a rival ghostwriter shows up to cause trouble, which ensues, and shortly after that there’s another dead body.

Yellow Brick Roadkill ~ Liz’s best friend Molly is directing Birney High’s production of The Wiz and sends out a call for help. Liz thought that meant just helping with the tech, but it turns out that the Wicked Witch of the East isn’t the only one to get a house dropped on her. As Vince says, “Birney goes seventy-four years without a murder and then you show up . . .”

The Goodnights and The Archers

The Goodnights run a formerly crooked art gallery in Columbus, Ohio. Really, aside from the sixty or so faked paintings in their basement, they’re completely honest now. Just ask Nadine, who runs the place with the help of her magician not-a-boyfriend, Ethan.

The Archers are a dynasty of completely aboveboard lawyers in Columbus, Ohio. Well, completely except for Alice and Carter who can communicate with the dead. And the ghost in the reception room.

Needless to say, they meet . . .

Haunting Alice

Alice (from Maybe This Time) is now a thirty-something, lepidopterist by day and a reluctant ghost expert at night, at least the night the book opens when her attempts to dissuade a credulous client into holding a séance with her old friend, Isolde, are hampered by a guy named Ethan who stops by to protect the old lady from the probably-crooked mediums. If that’s not enough, a parapsychologist wants to buy Archer House, Alice’s ancestral home, which Alice is against because ye gods that house is evil, but everybody else is for. Alice goes back to Archer House to find out what’s going on, hampered once more by Ethan at the request of her brother, Carter, and finds it’s not as deserted as she thought it was. As the house fills up again with nefarious parapsychologists, desperate TV reporters, her brother Carter and the flaky gallery chick he’s falling for (name’s Nadine), and the ever-present Ethan, trouble ensues. Also ghosts.

Stealing Nadine

Nadine (from Faking It) is now a thirty-something gallery manager, running the Goodnight Gallery by day and painting furniture and canvases by night. When a stranger named Carter shows up at the Gallery looking for a room to rent and a place to show his drawings, Nadine is suspicious. Good call, Nadine: Carter investigates art fraud for the FBI, and the Goodnight Gallery has been flagged by some senator’s wife named Clea. Nadine knows something’s up and the family will lose everything unless she does some fast thinking and even faster theft. Unfortunately, her best friend and partner-in-crime, Ethan, is off on some wild ghost chase with some woman who thinks she can talk to ghosts, so Nadine’s going to have juggle forgeries, her family (remember them?) and Carter if she’s going to save the day. (OF COURSE, she’s going to save the day).

The Riven Stories

The world of Riven is an alternate (extremely alternate) reality in which magic and science don’t so much co-exist as mate behind the barn when nobody’s watching.

Paradise Park

Zo White’s living a precarious life in New Riven City in the early twentieth century, trying to keep out of trouble the five orphaned children she was put in charge of when they were evicted from the Mothers of Mercy orphanage for being dangerously strange, and she was asked to leave the Mothers of Mercy for not being maternal or merciful. When the Orphants break into a powerful politician’s house, Zo meets Xavier Fenris (call him Ecks), a cop with a heart of steel, which seems to be melting at the edges when he’s around her. Then there’s Ecks’s partner Wyland (call him Wy), who runs into trouble when he investigates a woman named Petal who turns men into frogs when they kiss her. Add in Ylva, the stepmother trying to kill Zo; the secret cult taking out princesses like Pet; Eck’s nephew Harry, a brand new copper who hasn’t learned not to hit the bad guys yet; a house haunted by steampunk beasts who are NOT HAPPY; and the Orphants being the Orphants—Doc, Roseret, Owl, Gleep, and Kinzie—and you have Paradise Park, two love stories with magic, murder, and mechanical bats.

Monday Street (with Toni McGee Causey)

Six years have passed since the events of Paradise Park, and Zo and the others are still living in the bad part of New Riven City, but Cat Gilchrist lives on Monday Street, the bad part of the bad part of New Riven City, surrounded by murderers and thieves (she’s the second-best pickpocket in New Riven). She runs the restaurant, Maggie’s Ear, for her foster mother as she tries to save the various and sundry people who are part of her life. That does not include Harry, the local crime boss’s newest thug, even though he’s kind of attractive if you like them big and murderous, which Cat does not, and besides she has her own problems because some idiot is digging up the crypt in the abandoned church where she’s living and the magic that was trapped down there is rising, and now she has to deal with air fish and her pet raven, Edwin, talking to her. Add in the newest waitress at the Ear, the slightly surly, definitely magic Keely; and the head of the Department of Extraordinary Complaints, the slight sinister, definitely suspicious Rafe, and Cat has her hands full. Then something besides magic begins to rise in the church . . .

So that’s it so far. Any feedback is appreciated.

And now back to sorting through three thousand You Again files . . .

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Romance Structure Post Up On Writing/Romance

The post on structuring romance plots is up over at Writing/Romance.

Also, just to relieve your minds, all the Cherry Saturdays are done and scheduled for the rest of the year, so even if I get hit by a truck, you’ll get your Saturday posts. Because I live to serve, that’s why.

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Cherry Saturday 2 -6-2016

Today is Lame Duck Day.

Look, they can’t all be winners.

But that one really is bad. How about this instead:

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Book Done Yet? Prewriting Progress

I have nothing to be ashamed of this week in Book Done Yet. I worked.

The first thing I did was take the jpg of my old collage from several years ago . . .

. . . and use it as the center of my updated digital collage along with some icy river and forest pictures to get the setting right. Right now it’s mostly cast with a few extras thrown in, but it’s a good start and it feels like the book:

So that’s in progress. Then I did the cast layout for the three times they were at the house even though the book only has the last time, 2007. I needed to see them all to understand the backstories, most of which will never hit the page (NO FLASHBACKS EVER. Thank you).

And then I started thinking about the house, which is the setting for the whole thing and realized that I needed a better floor plan, so when I should have been cleaning my office I took this old floorplan off the net:

And made this:

And then I tried making a diagram of the plot and realized it was back to the drawing board. Well, to the graph paper and Curio. Argh.

But still, progress.

Thursday Night Update:

So after the Day from Hell and before I start on the tax info I should have done weeks ago, I’ve been thinking about story in general and plotting in specific.

You need a structure for your plot or it goes all over the place. But you also need the juice, the stuff that just bubbles up as you write, and it’s the tension between the two of those necessities that shuts down a lot of writers (that would be me).

Tonight I was trying to think what makes this story different. I’m very happy doing an Agatha Christie homage, but like any other classic story/trope/cliche, if it’s going to work, I have to make it my own. But I can’t do it for the gimmick. “I know, we’ll set it in Antarctica!” No. It has to be something that grows out of the story. A couple of years ago, the story took a big leap forward for me when I realized there were ghosts, something I discovered by writing a scene in which one showed up. Once I started extrapolating from that scene, wonderful things happened, but they still didn’t make it Good. It was Good Enough, which isn’t good enough.

So now I’m thinking about what everything in this story means, juxtaposed together. What patterns emerge in meaning (not structure, this is linear structure) that are going to give me my next nudge. Because right now, I’m trying to figure out the turning points, and I know one for sure, and it’s a beauty, but after that . . .

It’s seeing the big picture, the meaning that every makes together, that’s the next step. Which for me means going back to the collage and to Curio to put the elements into boxes that I can move around to see the patterns of meaning. I have these marvelous characters and one terrific turning point, but they’re all standing around in the dark until I can see what they mean.

So next week on “Book Done Yet” . . . enlightenment (fingers crossed).

The post Book Done Yet? Prewriting Progress appeared first on Argh Ink.

The Office: Day One

As I write this, it’s Wednesday, and I still haven’t started on the office, so it’s time. And thank god I decided to post every Thursday or I’d never get started on this.

3:50

It’s almost four o’clock? Jeez. Well, I did get my e-mail done and do a couple of Happiness posts for ReFab, but mostly I slept until eleven and read the news on the net (which includes io9 and AVClub, of course). Hail, Caesar looks excellent. Also, I decided to watch some hotel movies because for some reason I think that’ll help with You Again. No idea why, but never doubt your instincts. I also took the dogs out and walked down to the mail. Yeah, I did nothing for four hours. And now, lunch.

4:00

Lunch. Read Ravelry groups while eating. Really want to crochet and think now.

4:30

Crocheted and thought about You Again.

Also, my bedroom needs cleaned up. Later for that.

Answered e-mail from Krissie. My inbox is empty, the one place in my life I’m actually on top of.

5:15

Took the dogs out and brought in the trash cans. Veronica and Mona came with me. Milton made a break for the woods.

Hunted down Milton. Chased him back into the house with multiple “Bad Dog!”s.

5:00

More crochet and thinking.

I need to walk Milton a lot more.

I need to put up hooks in this bedroom.

I need to go look to see if I missed a bag of Maltesers in the snack basket.

Milton has crawled between the bed and side table to get at the chocolate covered blueberries I dropped there last night. One or two won’t hurt him, but I shooed him out anyway.

Wolfie is yiping again, stuck in a corner.

Milton is now investigating the recycling bag.

I just want to crochet and think.

Turning points in You Again. I know what they are, I’m just not sure what order they come in, which means I have to think about Acts.

And get Wolfie out of the corner and the recycling away from Milton.

Just spent forty-five minutes trying to figure out the layout of the house in You Again. Originally, I based it on a Clue game. Think maybe I’ll stick with that.

5:45

Nap.

6:45

Much better.

Cleared out in-box again.

Oooh, AV Club says that the Muppets are better after break.

Rats, not on Hulu yet.

Guess I’ll have to clean.

I could wait until tomorrow . . .

7:00

Okay. So I think I’ll start with the couch end/workroom part of the office. Because it’s the least horrible, which is not to say it’s not horrible. It’s vile:

8:00

Taking a break which is what asthmatics do when they start to breathe funny. Taking a Diet Coke and all the stuff I found that belongs in the bedroom to the bedroom.

Here’s where we are:

The plan for down there is to keep only what I need to actually work. So no crochet, that goes to the bedroom or the living room. Pens, pencils, scissors, reading glasses, paper, a laptop desk, lots of pillows. Those are all there now, so that’s set.

10:00

Wrote a critique post for Writing/Romance.

Mocked up a floor-plan for You Again. That took hours longer than I’d planned, but now it’s done. YAY.

I also cleared out my in-box again. My mail is so tidy.

And then the lights went out and I was without power until now (4PM next afternoon). It was not pretty. I’ve been up since the power left, so I am now going to sleep. Have a lovely evening.

The post The Office: Day One appeared first on Argh Ink.

The Lucifer Chat

Yeah, he even plays the piano.

So, the Lucifer chat. For those of you not up to date on my ongoing Lucifer hatefest, Krissie (aka Anne Stuart), liked the pilot and wanted to keep watching, Lani didn’t like the pilot but saw potential, and I hated the pilot with the fury of a thousand firey suns. However, pilots often suck, so we agreed to meet in a Slack chatroom and watch episode 2. Nothing we saw changed our minds; Krissie is still going to watch it, and I have no plans to ever look at it again. I think Lani’s fed up with it, too, but I forgot to ask her. I’m not at all sure how much value this transcript has, but we promised so . . .

jenny [5:24 PM]

Let us know when you’re ready, Krissie.

krissie [5:24 PM]

previously on Lucifer

lani [5:24 PM]

Okay, I’m on previously, too

jenny [5:24 PM]

Mine’s loading.

And I am, too.

Previously, I mean.

lani [5:25 PM]

I am so uninterested in that detective.

krissie [5:25 PM]

me too. I think it’s the actress

lani [5:25 PM]

I think it’s the writing.

krissie [5:25 PM]

but I’m keeping an open mind

jenny [5:25 PM]

And the woman in the bar and the angel.

lani [5:26 PM]

I like Jenny’s version of the shrink.

jenny [5:26 PM]

It’s the actress and the writing.

lani [5:26 PM]

I do like the visual style of the direction. It’s very pretty, and the effects are good.

jenny [5:26 PM]

Even the intro doesn’t make sense.

Isn’t the Devil the King of Lies?

lani [5:28 PM]

So is the deal that he tells everyone he’s the devil, but they don’t remember? Or they don’t believe him?

krissie [5:28 PM]

probably both

lol

(few things bigger)

lani [5:28 PM]

I believe the Devil does traffic in lies, but then, this is an independent world, so… whatever…

jenny [5:28 PM]

I love Rachael Harris.

The intro says it’s not an independent world.

lani [5:29 PM]

No, I mean the worldbuilding is independent of the Bible. It’s really inspired by more than a documentary.

krissie [5:29 PM]

I like the cop’s eyes

nice and sad looking

jenny [5:29 PM]

You know, the stuff with the therapist works.

She gives him another layer to play.

krissie [5:30 PM]

definitely

lani [5:30 PM]

“Dancing with the Devil” in the song… a little too on the nose, maybe.

I like that he’s struggling with it, and in denial.

jenny [5:30 PM]

Oh, good, he plays piano, too.

Bad, bad writing.

lani [5:31 PM]

Her eyes are in her face. He knows that… right?

jenny [5:31 PM]

Ew, ew, ew, ew.

Bad banter. Bad, bad, BAD BANTER.

krissie [5:32 PM]

calm down, Crusie

jenny [5:32 PM]

EW EW EW EW EW EW

What makes you different? Said Edward to Bella.

BLEAH.

Oh, thank, god, she’s gone.

lani [5:33 PM]

Oh, so here’s another mystery to solve. Cop procedural seems a kind of pedestrian conflict engine for this concept.

krissie [5:33 PM]

The funny thing is you’re going into this looking for bad stuff, whereas Im going into it looking for good stuff.

jenny [5:33 PM]

I like Brother Blood in this.

lani [5:33 PM]

Share your good stuff, K! Save us from our horrid cynicism. (And I’m not being sarcastic; I genuinely mean that. I wish there was a sincerity emoji.)

krissie [5:33 PM]

who’s brother blood?

jenny [5:33 PM]

Ex-husband.

Used to be on Arrow.

lani [5:34 PM]

Oh, hey. That’s Daniel from LOST.

jenny [5:34 PM]

EW EW EW. I can’t take the smarm.

krissie [5:34 PM]

yup

Love Daniel.

lani [5:34 PM]

I really like that actor. Maybe he can elevate the scene.

jenny [5:35 PM]

For that moment that he lost his smile, he was effective.

The thing is Blood is playing it straight.

He’s the most believable character in this.

krissie [5:37 PM]

oh come on, the pot is funny

jenny [5:37 PM]

That was stupid.

krissie [5:37 PM]

LOL

jenny [5:37 PM]

See, I can’t respect stupidity.

Oh, good, John Pankow is in this again.

krissie [5:38 PM]

I’m not interested in respecting the show, I’m interesting in being entertained. I know the stupidity stops the entertainment aspect

jenny [5:38 PM]

He’s bi? Excellent.

lani [5:38 PM]

They’re just working the Cool Lucifer thing too hard.

jenny [5:38 PM]

The Devil would be; doubles his chances.

I like the time stopping thing to announce the brother’s intro.

lani [5:39 PM]

Oh, now here’s Amenadiel to do nothing.

jenny [5:39 PM]

But he keeps saying the SAME DAMN THING.

They did this last week.

lani [5:39 PM]

Twice.

jenny [5:39 PM]

Okay, according to the intro, God condemned Lucifer to Hell.

And then he [Lucifer] just left.

lani [5:39 PM]

But DB Woodside looks good. Even though it doesn’t work, I like him.

jenny [5:40 PM]

Because “condemned” doesn’t mean you can’t leave.

krissie [5:40 PM]

me too

jenny [5:40 PM]

Oh, wait, it does.

And he just said, “Sent his favorite son.”

lani [5:40 PM]

Yeah, if he’d broken a rule to leave, great.

jenny [5:40 PM]

Woodside is so wasted here.

Love the apple stuff, though.

lani [5:40 PM]

But God is supposed to be all powerful… if he wants Lucifer back in hell, he sends him.

No, it’s a nice effect.

jenny [5:40 PM]

I think that’s one of the big weaknesses here.

krissie [5:41 PM]

Depends on god. The god in my stories is hands off.

jenny [5:41 PM]

They don’t have a coherent mythology.

lani [5:41 PM]

And I’m sorry, but I hate the kid. Not the kid, but the writing for the kid, and the way they use her.

jenny [5:41 PM]

Cute Kid Alert.

krissie [5:41 PM]

I love his dislike of the kid

jenny [5:41 PM]

I like it that he doesn’t like her.

lani [5:41 PM]

But the God in this story is all powerful, right? He condemned Lucifer to hell for all eternity. Or to 2016. Whatever comes first.

jenny [5:42 PM]

According to the crawl at the beginning, that’s what happened.

But not according to anything in the actual story.

lani [5:42 PM]

So her two personality traits are… was nude in a movie, can resist Lucifer’s charm. Ugh.

krissie [5:42 PM]

ok, the mother explains her movie

jenny [5:42 PM]

They don’ t have a coherent mythology in a show with a mythological hero.

Oh, Christ. “Two girls.” He’s BANAL.

[5:43]

Okay, that’s fun.

Reminds me of that scene long ago with George Clooney on ER.

lani [5:44 PM]

Yes, interrogate the guy about how she’s immune to your charms. OMG.

jenny [5:45 PM]

The guy playing the creep is really good.

krissie [5:45 PM]

That’s Daniel. Love him

lani [5:45 PM]

He’s so good. Love that guy.

Jeremy… Davies? I think?

jenny [5:45 PM]

THIS is good.

krissie [5:45 PM]

yup

jenny [5:46 PM]

When he stops smiling, he’s good.

Okay, THAT was excellent.

lani [5:47 PM]

Wait, how old was the murder victim? This dad looks pretty young.

jenny [5:47 PM]

Well, Hollywood.

lani [5:47 PM]

Yeah.

krissie [5:47 PM]

I like her blue sling. Mine’s the same but black

jenny [5:47 PM]

This scene is dull. It should be amazing, but it’s just flat.

lani [5:48 PM]

Aw, how’s your arm, baby?

krissie [5:48 PM]

hurts, I’m afraid.

lani [5:49 PM]

Oh, no. Hope it feels better soon.

jenny [5:49 PM]

There was potential there. Two weak actresses and bad dialogue kneecapped it.

You’re right. He’s good.

Oh, sorry about your arm, Krissie.

lani [5:49 PM]

I like the actor playing Lucifer, but the writing doesn’t typically give him something to work with.

jenny [5:50 PM]

Although if this was good TV, you wouldn’t be feeling it. It’s kind of like looking at the clock.

I don’t care about this mystery at all. Where’s Rachael Harris?

Where’s the dung beetle? That was good stuff.

Spectacularly creepy, that’s a bonus.

I like the way he sowed chaos there.

krissie [5:52 PM]

me too

lani [5:52 PM]

We have all of Heaven and Hell at our disposal for stories, and we’re doing this? Seems a waste.

jenny [5:52 PM]

This guy can play subtle really well, and they keep giving him over-the-top smarm.

Meanwhile, the ex is sympathetic because he’s getting rational dialogue.

I’d rather watch the ex and Lucifer.

I like it when he takes on the creeps.

Kind of creep on creep.

I like the planned photo bit.

I like the idea of paps creating chaos; it’s a nice parallel to Lucifer.

They’re just not working it.

krissie [5:55 PM]

I don’t buy the two of them in the bar talking though

jenny [5:56 PM]

The cop and the Devil?

I don’t buy any of it.

krissie [5:56 PM]

yup

jenny [5:56 PM]

There’s no coherence.

krissie [5:57 PM]

I buy a lot of it, but not that

jenny [5:57 PM]

This guy is really good. The prisoner.

She’s not good. He elevates the dialogue and she gets pulled under by it.

Okay, I love that stuff, Lucifer walking off with the prisoner.

The problem is, he can do anything, he doesn’t have a coherent personality, and there’s no depth to him.

The actor is good, but he’s not being given any layers to play

and in fact the dialogue is deliberately keeping him one dimensional.

lani [5:59 PM]

Too much power, too little conflict

He’s also got no skin in the game, aside from his emergent empathy, which is the most interesting and yet most ignored element here.

jenny [6:00 PM]

That’s the most interesting Maze has been.

So nobody’s being punished in hell?

lani [6:01 PM]

So.. no one’s suffering in hell anymore.

And he has to punish people individually.

That’s a lot of work.

jenny [6:02 PM]

! saw that(bullet-less gun) coming. Why didn’t Lucifer?

lani [6:02 PM]

Oh, is this supposed to be angel and devil on the shoulder?

jenny [6:02 PM]

Oh, bleah.

Why did she put a bullet in the other gun?

krissie [6:03 PM]

lol

jenny [6:03 PM]

You know, attacking a helpless man isn’t funny to me.

krissie [6:03 PM]

if he’s that bad it is to me

lani [6:04 PM]

Is there a consequence to Amenadiel’s threats now? What is it?

jenny [6:04 PM]

You know that bullet time stuff is overdone.

Especially when it’s that stupid.

krissie [6:04 PM]

we don’t know what the threat means. I can ride with it

jenny [6:05 PM]

Yeah, that’s the fourth time he’s said, “You’re gonna be sorry.”

It lacks impact.

lani [6:05 PM]

Right, but if Lucifer doesn’t know what it is, it fails.

jenny [6:05 PM]

God, they’re boring together.

lani [6:05 PM]

We don’t have to know, but Lucifer does.

jenny [6:06 PM]

Did she have sex in that movie?

Jesus, HER KID HAS SEEN PORN?

krissie [6:06 PM]

I don’t think it’s porn, I think it’s like American Pie

lol

jenny [6:06 PM]

Oh. So why is she so ashamed?

krissie [6:06 PM]

i’m sorry I think the kid is funny too

jenny [6:07 PM]

YAY RACHAEL

Why is she wearing her bra? Lucifer is that bad a lover?

lani [6:07 PM]

It’s network tv

jenny [6:07 PM]

Oh, Jimmy.

And now she’s gloating over somebody in prison.

John Pankow rocks.

How clueless is she? “He’s just a man.” Jesus.

What a tragic waste of acting talent.

krissie [6:09 PM]

I like how dangerous they’re saying he is

jenny [6:09 PM]

Yeah, they SAY it, they don’t SHOW it. Until the end.

lani [6:10 PM]

But he’s not, really. He punishes the wicked. He isn’t, of himself, really evil.

krissie [6:10 PM]

ok, bottom line I think it works for me and doesn’t work for you

jenny [6:10 PM]

Plus the writers are using such tired tropes. Like the gun without the bullet.

Well, yeah, I think so, too

lani [6:10 PM]

LOL, poor Krissie. It always sucks being the one defending.

jenny [6:11 PM]

Here:

It Works Better with Bullets – TV Tropes

The “It works better with bullets” trope.

krissie [6:11 PM]

Naah, it’s ok. I’m not necessarily defending it, I’m just saying that some stuff works for me that doesn’t work for you guys. And some things drive you crazy but I’m able to overlook it.

jenny [6:11 PM]

Along with Only She Is Immune To My Power.

krissie [6:11 PM]

Doesn’t matter if it’s a trope. Everything is a trope.

jenny [6:11 PM]

And She’s Bitchy but Beautiful so I Love Her.

krissie [6:11 PM]

Name something that’s tropeless

jenny [6:12 PM]

No, everything isn’t a trope. The point is, it matters what you DO with the trope.

If you just repeat it, it’s a cliche.

krissie [6:12 PM]

yes, true. And this isn’t brilliant tv.

jenny [6:12 PM]

Did you really not know that Maz hadn’t loaded whosis’s gun?

krissie [6:13 PM]

didn’t pay attention. Plus it didn’t make sense for her to load one and not the other.

jenny [6:13 PM]

I agree.

None of that made sense, including what Lucifer did.

krissie [6:13 PM]

Lucifer would”t care if they killed each other, so she had no reason to keep one bullet out.

jenny [6:13 PM]

He asks for his brother to come down, I assume because he wanted time to slow so he grab the bullet?

But he can’t do it on his own?

krissie [6:14 PM]

we don’t know. I wasn’t clear on why he called his brother down

lani [6:14 PM]

And calling his brother down to slow the bullet seems weird.

jenny [6:14 PM]

This makes no sense to me and it’s because Lucifer doesn’t make sense.

I could buy any number of ridiculous coincidences if I could understand what the fuck is going on with Lucifer.

But they’re doing so much hand-waving that he has no character.

krissie [6:15 PM]

whereas I’m waiting for him to reveal himself

jenny [6:15 PM]

I think he has.

He does not appear to be hiding anything.

krissie [6:15 PM]

not really

oh, he’s got shit’

so how would you guys sum up your thoughts?

Lani?

lani [6:16 PM]

I think this has a lot of potential, but misses the mark.

krissie [6:17 PM]

what are your general thoughts about it? any redeeming qualities or a total waste of time

I guess for me it’s like certain flawed books. If there’s something i can hold onto, something I really love, then I’ll go along for the ride until it gets too stupid. And it hasn’t reached that point for me yet

lani [6:18 PM]

It’s okay to have things that present questions, but things that are in active conflict with each other (like Lucifer clearly having empathy, and then being told his empathy is a problem even though it’s already part of his personality) just make it kind of muddy.

I like the concept, but I hate how it’s wasted. We have this extended mythological world, but the conflict engine (borrowed from the cop, it’s not even Lucifer’s conflict) is a pedestrian police procedural.

krissie [6:18 PM]

Whereas I like Lucifer having contradictions and not understanding them, plus he’s cute, makes it work for me.

lani [6:19 PM]

He is cute. I really do like the actor, and I can definitely see why you like him.

krissie [6:19 PM]

so that’s enough to carry me for now.

lani [6:19 PM]

That’s good. God knows, there are loads of things I love that I can’t defend.

jenny [6:19 PM]

I think if you love it, you don’t have to defend it.

krissie [6:19 PM]

I think it’s interesting that I love it and you guys hate it.

jenny [6:19 PM]

“I love it” is enough.

krissie [6:19 PM]

yup

jenny [6:20 PM]

I hate sloppy, lazy storytelling.

krissie [6:20 PM]

okay, Richie’s got dinner for me. Thanks, guys. This was fun

lani [6:20 PM]

Later, K! Glad you made it!

krissie [6:20 PM]

smooch to both of you

jenny [6:20 PM]

Bye Krissie!

I get the feeling that the writers said, “You know, Gaiman wrote this great story about Lucifer, let’s make a show about Lucifer.”

lani [6:20 PM]

I think that’s exactly what happened.

jenny [6:20 PM]

And they just went to every Devil cliche they could think of.

lani [6:21 PM]

And Gaiman’s original concept is pretty strong; I haven’t read the comics, but from what I read about the comics, it looks good.

jenny [6:21 PM]

Because the inconsistencies here are ridiculous.

lani [6:21 PM]

And the comics that came from that were also supposed to be good.

But I feel like we’re just making a Cool Guy, instead of telling a real story.

And they’re working the Cool so hard. It gets brittle.

I do not understand the whole cop thing.

It’s like Kate on Angel. She doesn’t belong there.

If she was interested in the supernatural, if it explained a case she was on, and she was pursuing him for answers, okay.

But for him to step out of supernatural world to solve regular mysteries… no.

jenny [6:22 PM]

Okay, I just went back to the beginning crawl.

It says “The angel Lucifer was cast out of Heaven and condemned to rule Hell for all eternity.”

Now tell me how he got out.

lani [6:23 PM]

All eternity or until 2016, whichever comes first.

jenny [6:23 PM]

Tell me he’s pulling a con on God.

Tell me there are repercussions.

Tell me he’s breaking a sweat.

lani [6:23 PM]

But God is all powerful. If he can send him there once, he can send him back.

That’s the thing. It’s not consistent.

jenny [6:24 PM]

Hell, He could make it impossible for him to ever LEAVE.

lani [6:24 PM]

Even if there was a loophole that Lucifer played to get out… something.

jenny [6:24 PM]

The Devil as a con man, pulling the ultimate con on God, that’s a back story.

lani [6:24 PM]

But if getting out is a big deal, that kind of needs to be where the story starts. When he gets out, how, why, and WHAT HE WANTS.

Which is still not clear.

jenny [6:24 PM]

EXACTLY.

Not “I got bored so I left and now every now and then God sends an angel to tell me I better go back or else.”

lani [6:25 PM]

Or else… I’ll come back again and tell you to go back.

jenny [6:25 PM]

And then I’ll come back again.

They did all that handwaving over the stuff that would have grounded the series.

lani [6:25 PM]

He has to WANT something. He doesn’t even really want the cop.

jenny [6:25 PM]

And Maz (?) will squirm around and tell me I’m becoming human because why?

lani [6:25 PM]

And when I come back next time, there had better be cookies.

Oh, god, who cares about Maze?

jenny [6:26 PM]

I have this horrible, horrible feeling that the reason he can’t whammy the cop is because she’s his soulmate.

All evidence to the contrary. Talk about an appalling lack of chemistry.

lani [6:26 PM]

I don’t even know how they make the devil an equal to a regular mortal woman.

jenny [6:26 PM]

You’re right, too. He has no goal.

lani [6:26 PM]

She’s terrible. They write terribly for her.

jenny [6:26 PM]

Except that he doesn’t want to go back to Hell, so negative goal.

lani [6:27 PM]

Because she has two personality traits; Hot and Doesn’t Like Lucifer.

jenny [6:27 PM]

They write terribly for everyone. What they’re doing to the actor playing Lucifer is a crime.

lani [6:27 PM]

Right, avoidance is a narrative black hole.

jenny [6:27 PM]

That scene with the prisoner wasn’t great writing, but there were two solidly good actors working it together.

lani [6:27 PM]

The prisoner was really good. Love that actor.

jenny [6:28 PM]

Then the cop does that scene at the end with John Pankow, and he might as well have been in there alone. He’s marvelous; she’s . . . flat.

lani [6:28 PM]

Sorry – gotta run.

Homework stuff.

This was fun, though! Glad we got together!

jenny [6:28 PM]

Yeah, I’ve bitched long enough.

Not sure this is going to be terribly interesting on the blog.

lani [6:28 PM]

LOL, Lord it wasn’t good.

jenny [6:28 PM]

Bad, bad, bad.

lani [6:28 PM]

Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe not.

Take care, babe.

jenny [6:28 PM]

You, too. Kiss the kids for me.

lani [6:29 PM]

Will do. night!

jenny [6:29 PM]

Night!

Yeah, I’m not sure that was useful to any of you at all.

Then I went looking for a picture for this post and found this petition, so I revised it to make it more effective:

I really don’t like this show.

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