Jennifer Crusie's Blog, page 225

Cherry Saturday 9-10-2016

Today is International Swap Ideas Day.

I once had an idea that I’d learn to surf. I’ll trade that for anything not involving deep water or jaws.

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Talk Amongst Yourselves

I know I said I’d respond to your critiques. Instead, I worked on the second scene all weekend. I did get the first one cut back some, and now the second one is too long and all over the place, but still better. And since I’m starting the third one from scratch, yeah, it’ll be awhile.

The good news is, I was in the middle of something and had this vague thought that I wanted to get back to the book I was reading because it was really good. Then I realized it was the one I was writing.

So you guy talk about anything you want. I’ll be here revising . . .

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Cherry Saturday 9-3-2016

September is National Courtesy Month.

Be nice, damn it.

Bless your heart.

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Cherry Saturday 9-3-1016

September is National Courtesy Month.

Be nice, damn it.

Bless your heart.

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Yep, That Critique Response Is Coming Right Up. But First . . .

So I’m behind. The plan is to get the critique response up on Sunday. There were a lot of comments–you guys do good work–and I’m still sifting through everything.

In the meantime, I’ve been working on a lot of different aspects of the book because as one thing shifts, it shifts the thing next to it, and it becomes like a giant box of gears, turning in all directions. And one of the directions it went in was toward the collages. In the beginning, still under the influence of Lucifer, I used Tom Ellis, the star of that show, as my placeholder for Nick. That wasn’t right–no shade to Mr. Ellis who is very good on the show–because that wasn’t my story and it definitely wasn’t my kind of hero. That collage looked like this:

That’s actually what the first scenes sounded like, too. But it just wasn’t right, and the closer I got to Nick and Nita as I ripped up pages and rewrote and ripped some more, the more I knew that wasn’t my book. So I finally sat down and thought, “Okay, what am I trying to capture here?” And as I looked back over all the stuff I’d written (most of which you haven’t seen) and all the rewrites and things that came closest to capturing what I wanted, I realized that Nita is another fix-it heroine with a savior complex, and I know that heroine. I love that heroine. She’s not grumpy, but she’s no sweetheart, either. Especially with Nita, there’s an edge. Lotta anger in Nita. (Okay, lotta anger in all my heroines.)

And then there was Nick. I had a helluva time with Nick, which was appropriate but still frustrating. For awhile, I decided he wasn’t the bastard son of the Borgia pope, but that was too useful, so that went back in. I finally realized it was the whole admin thing, the guy who’s good at filing. That just wasn’t right. On the other hand, the slick pick-up artist of the TV show was even farther off the mark. So who was Nick? I looked back over the stuff I’d written for him in the later parts of the book, and he’s calm, ruthless, cold, efficient, and . . . kind of a thug. That was the part I was missing. So maybe he hadn’t been his father’s admin guy, maybe he’d been his fixer. Maybe he came from a long line of crooks and thugs, which meant he was descended equally from devils and angels (assuming the popes on his father’s side were the good guys, that’s up for debate). He has a heritage of taking what he wants and a heritage of serving others. And he’s had five hundred years of observing humanity without emotion because he’s dead. He’d pretty much have the potential to be either a master criminal or a savior hero. His only real flaw would be that lack of emotion; he’d be almost a machine at this point, and a fairly scary machine at that. Okay, that guy I could get behind. More than that, Nita could put a major spoke in that guy’s wheel. That would be interesting. I thought they might look like this:

So I did another collage, trying to get the right vibe, warm yet threatening, weird yet all the trappings of traditional romance. It’s not done yet, of course. It probably won’t be done until I’m in the copy edit stage. But it’s definitely closer to Nick and Nita.

And now I must go back to writing. I just realized Nick isn’t the Devil, he’s the Devil Elect. He’ll be the Devil when Satan retires at midnight, Hell Time. SO much more fun to write.

So I’ll get back to you on the critique response. In the meantime, there are bunnies in tomorrow’s Cherry Saturday. Bunnies are always good. Plus Labor Day Weekend! Have a marvelous last weekend of the summer, everybody. I’ll be over here writing my dead hero and the woman who’s going to make him so crazy he starts breathing again. I think I’ve finally found my story.

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Nita, the Pop Song

I’m in the middle of rewriting Nita, breaking the scene down into beats and looking at the motifs and repetition, and I’m delighted to see that the scene has fallen into one of my favorite scene structures, the AABA structure, which is the basis of most pop songs. Then it occured to me that I’d never mentioned this before on Argh because it’s not a theory or a rule and because I’m complete idiot about music, so I’m reluctant to pontificate there. But the AABA structure can be so useful (for some scenes, not all, not a rule) that it’s a just good thing to know.

I use art theory all the time in my work, but my musical background is nil. Then one day, I was struggling with a scene and Billy Joel’s “For the Longest Time” came on the radio, and for the first time, I heard verse-chorus-bridge as structure, the same kind of structure the scene I was working on was shadowing, and I realized that a lot of my big scenes had that basic AABA structure.

What is AABA structure? Here, watch this:

Now here’s the breakdown of the scene in the version you all read:

Beat 1: Nita evaluates the scene and tries to go help her brother. Button says, “Wait.”

Beat 2: Nita tries to relieve Button’s fears and be a good partner, but she’s still gonna help her brother. Button says, “Wait.”

Beat 3: Frank shows up and then Mort and then Clint. The Clown car beat.

Beat 4: Nita finds out that the victim is Joey and focuses. Button says, “Wait,” and Nita gets out of the car.

Okay, at first glance, it would seem that Beat 3 is a problem, but it isn’t because that’s a classic bridge.

A. Nita tries to get out of the car (verse) and Button says “Wait” (chorus).

A. Nita tries to get out of the car (verse) and Button says “Wait” (chorus).

B. Frank and Mort and Clint show up with various opinions about whether Nita should get out of the car (bridge).

A. Nita finds out about Joey and gets out of the car (verse) as Button says “Wait” (chorus).

How does this help me?

First, I have to divide the scene into its four parts/beats and look at three of them as verses. That’s easy, just divide the scene into four docs. And I have to make sure that each verse increases in intensity for Nita (see “Let It Go” in the video).

Then, I have to strength the chorus with repetition. If Button says “Wait” exactly the same way each time, I have repetition but I don’t have escalation. And she doesn’t say it on the page in the last beat/verse, it’s just implied. So strengthen and escalate the chorus.

And then there’s the bridge: “New lyrics, new background music, new melody.” So the clown car shows up and keeps the repetition of the verse from getting boring. BUT the verse carries the juice of the scene, and the reader wants to get back to it to find out what Nita is going to do. So the bridge links the first two verses which set up the repetition of Nita trying to get out of the car and Button’s “Wait,” to the last verse where Nita gets out of the car, ignoring Button’s “Wait” and forcing Button to join her. I was just having fun with the whole clown car thing, so that bridge beat is all over the place when it needs to be a solid shift AND a link.

There are other things going on here. I have to cut the hell out of the bridge because even with some revision from the version you read, the word count is breaking at 730/673/1077/662. I’m fine with the first verse being slightly longer than the other two, but the last verse should probably be shorter for pacing. I’m even good with the bridge being the longest. Just not that long.

No, I don’t do this kind of analysis for every scene. No, I don’t use this kind of structure for every scene. But the first scene is a crucial one, and it fell naturally into this structure, and breaking it down into AABA and seeing that B beat as a bridge is hugely helpful as I pull this all together.

Tomorrow I’ll be back with the critique discussion as promised, and possibly with a rewrite. I should be going to laundromat now, but I really want to fix that bridge . . .

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Questionable: Scene and Chapter Length

CarolC asked:

How long should a scene be? Is there a preferred length? Is it okay to have an occasional scene that is really short? Or long? And what about chapter length? How do you decide where the chapter ends and another begins?”

Short Answer: There is no recommended scene length or chapter length.

Long Answer:

A scene is a unit of conflict, and in a linear story has beats and turning points just like the overall plot. For a longer definition of scene, go here. Scenes are the building blocks of story, and their content and placement in the story determine their optimal lengths.

A chapter is an annoying break in the narrative that has no useful function and must be countered because it screws up the story. Chapter length is usually determined by its placement in the story (in my world anyway). Chapters are a pain in the ass.

CHAPTERS

So let’s get chapters out of the way first. Chapters came about because stories used to be serialized a long time ago. Like Charles Dickens a long time ago. They have stuck around because. (You know when you asked your mom for something and she said no and you said why? and she said “Because”? That’s why we have chapters.)

So the key to chapters is to get rid of them, but publishers and readers like them–GOD KNOWS WHY–so you have to fight against them by ending them at a turning point in mid-scene so the reader has to turn the page and keep reading and does not use the chapter end as a good place to go get a cookie and never come back. The only advice I have on chapter length is to make them increasing shorter because they become part of the rhythm of the book. My beginning chapters are usually around 6000 words and the ending chapters about half that, but it’s not something I obsess over, and I obsess about everything. I don’t even put chapters in until I have a later draft done because there’s no point since my word count moves around like ferrets in a bag.

Chapters suck.

SCENES

Scenes, on the other hand, are delightful. Scenes have shape and meaning and move story, scenes are worth studying and rewriting and talking about. But what you want to know is, how long should they be?

As long as they need to be to establish and resolve the conflict for that scene without running so long that people begin to get tired. The reason a book is not just one long scene is that when something goes on too long, readers wander off. They think about other things. Like “This scene could be shorter.” If they are not distracted by something shiny–“Oooooh, look, a new scene!” they will leave you. So a scene has to be as long as necessary but not one word longer.

That’s not a lot of help, is it?

So go back to basic scene structure. What does your protagonist want? What steps is she taking to get it? Who is blocking her? What steps is that person (the antagonist) taking to get what she needs? How does the scene escalate? Who wins? Then cut everything that’s not in service to that.

The catch comes in defining what’s in service to the conflict. These are people we’re talking about, so you need the stuff that personalizes them, helps the reader to understand why they have the reactions they do. In other words, you’re going to need character cues in there as you move the plot. Then where and when this is scene is taking place has a huge effect on both the action and the characters, so you need setting cues as you move the plot. And then there’s the foreshadowing you have to do to set up future scenes and the details you have to put in to echo previous scenes, but those also have to move the plot.

Then cut everything else. That’s how long a scene should be. Oh, and also scenes should get generally shorter as you move toward the end of the book because that picks up the pacing. That doesn’t mean that all the scenes in the last act have to shorter than all the scenes in the first act, but that in general, things happen more quickly. That usually happens on its own because you got all that set-up out of the way in the first act and all the complications out of the way in the second and third acts, so you can spend the last act speeding toward the climax, but sometimes you get this terrible urge in the last act to sit down and explain everything. Or at least I do. That’s okay, write that scene. And then cut it, put a stake through its heart, bury it in the backyard, and pour salt on it. It must not rise again.

So if you have a scene and you’re not sure how long it should be, identify the protagonist and antagonist and their conflict and break it down into beats. Then pare away everything that isn’t essential to plot, character, and setting for the reader at this point in the story. Go here to read about beats.

Example:

Protagonist: Nita wants to help her brother.

Antagonist: Button wants to keep her in the car and, if possible, get them both the hell out of Dodge.

Before the scene opens: Nita gets Button to drive her to the scene because she’s drunk.

1. At the scene, Nita realizes that she’s not just picking Mort up, it’s a crime scene. If Mort wants her there, she needs to understand it, but she’s drunk.

Meanwhile, Button needs Nita to not get out of the car, not call attention to herself, and–please, god–SOBER UP. So she gives her coffee.

Turning point: Nita opens the door to get out of the car.

2. Button delays her by asking questions, shoving more coffee on her, while Nita fights through the fog to figure out her best course of action.

Turning point: Nita opens the door to get out of the car.

3. Nita’s opening the door draws the attention of Frank, and Button seizes on him as Plan B, he can bring Mort over.

Turning point: Mort opens the door to the car and gets in. Clint follows.

4. Nita finds out Joey’s dead and opens the door and gets out of the car. Button gives up and follows.

Just that outline shows me where there are big problems (see Nita’s passivity in 2 and 3), but it’ll also help me to get rid of a lot of stuff that just doesn’t belong. (Well, that and your critiques.)

Scenes rock.

(Note: As we all know, it’s important to wait 24 hours before responding to critiques. (You can, however, go swimming right after a critique.) So tomorrow I’ll talk about Nita and your comments and my plan for revision along with using the scene to talk about scene length and the things discussed here and in the comments. Assuming there are comments.)

(Hahahahahahaha.)

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Make Yourselves Useful

This is too long. Tell me where to cut it while I deal with all these e-mails.

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Susan Elizabeth Phillips Is a Goddess

Have I ever mentioned how important it is to have good writing friends?

I was working on the latest draft of Nita this morning (you all haven’t seen this one), thinking “This will never work,” and SEP e-mailed me about something, and I told her that I was worried because my heroine was drunk in the first scene, and she wrote back “Drunk heroines are fantastic! They get in all kinds of trouble that way. And you know how much I love heroines in trouble. . . . I swear to God I’m going to get on a plane and pull that frickin’ next book out of your head! Be afraid.”

So I sent her the first scene to show her I was writing and got this back:

“OH SHIT!!!!! This is absolutely the best thing you have ever written!!!! Ohmygod, I want to KILL you!!! Get out of your frickin’ head and just keep writing. I can not even remember the last time I burst out loud laughing when I read anything! And it happened more than once! This is absolutely killer. You could put this out exactly as it is right now and readers would go nuts. Yes, you absolutely could. It’s that damn good.

“Remember… Every scene doesn’t have to be this frickin’ magical. As a matter of fact, every scene shouldn’t be. If they were all like this the reader would be exhausted and scenes like this would lose their magic. Give us some breathing room, for God’s sake.”

I love Susan Elizabeth Phillips. She is a good true friend and a great cheerleader, too.

And now I’m going back to writing Nita. I started over on the first scene, so I’ll put it up later this week so you can see how disorganized I am. Remember it’s a process, so the fact that I trash-canned the first scene I’d been writing for months is just part of that.

Also, I love Susan Elizabeth Phillips.

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Cherry Saturday 8-27-2016

Today is Global Forgiveness Day.

If only.

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