Jennifer Crusie's Blog, page 174

Working Wednesday, October 17, 2018

I’ve been working on shawls.  There’s this great pattern with a really easy beginning and then the border . . . argh, the border.  It’s driving me crazy.  

So what are you working on this week?

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Happiness is Once More a Warm Puppy

Thank god for dogs, that’s what I say.

How did you hug happiness to you this week?

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Cherry Saturday, October 13, 2018

Today is No Bra Day.  Or as I call it, every day. 

Actually, No Bra Day is celebrated to increase awareness of breast cancer screenings; the BRA originally stood for Breast Reconstruction Awareness, but that’s kind of gotten lost in the whole oh-my-god-it-feels-good-to-not-wear-a-bra thing.  Bras have always annoyed me because aside from preventing pain while jogging, their major use seems to be to shield heterosexual men from the sight of nipples through fabric: I have to wear a sling so that they can concentrate on their work?  No.  (I spent most of my twenties saying, “My eyes are up here.”)  Then I got fitted for this stupid Life Vest which I was supposed to put a bra over, and I said, “That’s it.”  I still have bras if I have to go somewhere and I’m not wearing layers, but for bumming around the house and short trips to the diner and to walk the dog, I am a free woman.  

But also breast cancer awareness, too.   Don’t burn your bra, that’s bad for the environment, but definitely take it off and get a mammogram.  It’s that kind of day.

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This is a Good Book Thursday, October 11, 2018

I’m looking for funny stories where the dastardly villains get their comeuppance: Hello, Pratchett.  Also Good Omens, the previews for which look stellar.  How can you go wrong with Sheen and Tennant?

So what’s on your TBR list?

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Working Wednesday, October 10, 2018

This week I’m working on my attitude.  Also on fixing my internet which has slowed to a crawl (grrrr).  And finding a new trash pick-up service because mine canceled on me because they decided they didn’t like driving on single lane roads.  And some other stuff.  

Actually, this week I’m working on getting over last week.  Onward and upward, Argh People!

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Happiness in the Dark

This week was bad.  And I am angry.  So happiness, not really an option. Except . . . .

I’m unhappy because Milton is walking like an old dog because of arthritis (I hope) or a bad back (I fear).  Milton is supposed to live forever, but I don’t want him in pain forever, that’s bad.  So I’ve shelled out over $700 in four days and really all we’ve achieved is that pain pills help him not feel pain.  I’m frustrated and annoyed.   

A partisan liar was elevated to the Supreme Court because legislators I respected played party politics instead of protecting their country.  That gutted me: there is no government institution in my country that I respect anymore if they can put this shrieking conspiracy theorist and probably sex offender on the court forever.  I’m so angry about this that I’ve stopped reading the news.  If the apocalypse comes I’m going to miss it because I’m throwing things against the wall.   

And Bethany is in a coma as I write this and not expected to regain consciousness.  While I could say something Hallmarkish about how she’ll be in our hearts forever (true), the darker truth is that she’s gone from here forever.  And that’s so wrong, I can’t stand it.  Rage is swamping my grief.

Because I want to fix it all and I can’t.  I can’t fix any of it.  And there’s so much more that’s wrong than just the things that hurt me the most.  The world is full of pain and suffering, and life being what it is, it will be forever full of pain and suffering and it makes me so angry that sometimes I can’t function.  

Welcome to your Sunday happiness post.  

So I’ve been thinking about this misery and how to write about happiness today, and I’m realizing that my anger is the problem, I’m clinging to my anger because anger is so much easier and cleaner than grief.  It isn’t just that you can’t be happy if you’re angry, it’s that you can’t accept and move on if you’re angry.  It’s like that storm that hit the Carolinas and then just stayed, flooding people’s lives, drowning hope.   If I let go of the anger, I’m going to hurt and I’m going to cry for a while, but it’s the only way I’ll be able to find my way back to happiness.

So my plan for this week is to refuse the anger and embrace the grief and move on to the next patch of sunlight.  Milton may not be running around as much as he used to, but he cuddles more.  Kavanaugh’s going to be on the court, but Ford has started the dialogues we needed to have again.  And losing Bethany has made me realize that while I’ve always celebrated the community here, I haven’t celebrated how important we all are individually, that over time, our lives revealed in random details in random comments, and we’ve become distinct characters in the anthology that is Argh.  Maybe we can’t fix the darkness of this week, the darkness of so many weeks in so many places, but we can refuse to let the darkness take from us the good that happens all the time, take emotional snapshots of those moments, hold them close and appreciate that for every darkness, there’s a light somewhere, and that, in fact, sometimes we can see the light more clearly, more sharply, because of the darkness.

I still hate this week, though.  Damn it.

Love you, Bethany.  Hope wherever you are now is full light and wonder and happiness.  Lots and lots of happiness forever.

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Cherry Saturday, October 6, 2018

Today is part of Walk Your Dog Week (Oct. 1 – 7).  

It’s difficult to walk my dogs.  Milton is moving like an old man lately because of his arthritis, Veronica’s legs are extremely short, so she gets tired covering a minimal amount of ground.  Mona was born with no knees in her back legs, which means she basically takes a step forward with her front legs and then hops her back legs to follow which means she gets tired fast.  

So our big outings are down to the end of the driveway and across the one-lane road into Kathleen’s massive yard and then a turn to the left down past our mailbox and into Carl’s yard to see if Jackson wants to come out to play.  Jackson is basically a grumpy old man in tiny terrier form, but Milton and Mona love him, so he will occasionally stand on the deck and let them appreciate him.  Then we turn around and walk back and take a nap.  

If you don’t have a dog, today is also Noodle Day.  As far as I’m concerned, every day is Noodle Day–chicken noodle soup, stroganoff over noodles, tuna noodle casserole–but that’s probably just me.

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This Is a Good Book Thursday, October 4, 2018

Last week I read the news and screamed.  This week I’m reading the book I’m writing along with the book that the Girls are tugging me toward next.  Also a book on Disney’s Haunted Mansion since there’s a Haunted House in Nita’s book and it’s the setting for three important scenes.  Fortunately, Krissie is an expert on Disney, so I have a great source there, too.  And then I’m going through a stack of bartending books and drinking posts from the AV Club.  Did you know there’s a thing called Stout Muffins?  That you make with stout?  I did not.  Reading expands your world, people.

So how did you expand your world this week?

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Working Wednesday, October 3, 2018

I’ve been cooking and baking like a madwoman this week.  Remember that pasta salad I had my doubts about?  It was fabulous, so this week I swapped out the pasta for tuna and made Fabulous Tuna Salad which I promptly went face down into.  Plus the usual: stroganoff, brownies, and pumpkin custard, and tonight a weird spaghetti layer thing.  I love fall.  It makes me want to cook.

Oh, and in my lust to cut the first act back, I wrote another scene for it.  Clearly, I must get a grip.

What did you make this week?

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This is a Good Poem October 1st

October is a good month to read one of the most subversive poems ever read to little kids.  I wanted to do my first master’s thesis on it, but my committee said Christina Rosetti wasn’t important enough.  However, they said, I could write about her brother, Dante . . . .  Goblins, all of them.

“Goblin Market” by Christina Rosetti (1859) is after the jump.  It’s a long poem, but well worth the trip.  I tried pasting it in here, but it was just too much for the blog, so follow the link, please.

And if you don’t have time for Laura and Lizzie (although they are SO worth it), here’s “Promises Like Piecrust” (1861):

Promise me no promises,

So will I not promise you;

Keep we both our liberties,

Never false and never true:

Let us hold the die uncast,

Free to come as free to go;

For I cannot know your past,

And of mine what can you know?  

You, so warm, may once have been

Warmer towards another one;

I, so cold, may once have seen

Sunlight, once have felt the sun:

Who shall show us if it was

Thus indeed in time of old?

Fades the image from the glass

And the fortune is not told.

If you promised, you might grieve

For lost liberty again;

If I promised, I believe

I should fret to break the chain:

Let us be the friends we were,

Nothing more but nothing less;

Many thrive on frugal fare

Who would perish of excess.

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