Jennifer Crusie's Blog, page 124

Person of Interest Posts Are All Up

The Person of Interest posts are all back up. I think they’re all linked so that you can just click on the next one at the bottom of each post, but I know they’re all linked in both a Page (look under the Post Series list in the top menu) and in this post. I did promise to go back and do another post on the finale, but reading the post I already did almost put me under. This series is so excellent, so involving, so beautifully crafted, and so true, that I don’t think I can write any more about it. But the posts do talk about craft, so they’re valuable for that, too.

See, I worked on Working Wednesday.

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Published on May 20, 2020 17:25

Working Wednesday, May 20, 2020

This week I resurrected the first three years of the blog, did a table for Lily so I could get a grip on her plot, did two tables for Nita, worked on her Act Two, and started a Twelve Days, and resurrected a couple of the old He Wrote She Wrote blog. That’s WAY too much screen time, so I also planted a tomato plant and cleaned my bedroom.

I’m feeling very virtuous.

What did you do this week?

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Published on May 20, 2020 02:44

Rerun: He Wrote She Wrote: Writing Sex Scenes in Don’t Look Down, March 11, 2006

So I started reading the old HWSW blog posts and hit this one, which is about the beginning of our collaboration and the early discussions of our first novel, Don’t Look Down. I’d forgotten all of this, but especially I had, mercifully, forgotten writing sex scenes with Bob. Those e-mails must have been interesting. It must have been like talking dirty, only in anger.

There’s a reason we stopped collaborating, people.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

SHE WROTE: Writing Sex Scenes in DLD

I almost titled this “Sex in DLD: How We Did It.” There is no good catchy title for this blog entry that won’t get people snickering, so you get the boring title. But people have been asking how we did the sex scenes, so here it is, campers, the inside story. (See? There is nothing that doesn’t have a double meaning. Beavis and Butthead, 24/7. Heh heh.)

When we started Don’t Look Down (our Romantic Adventure novel, out April 4, I’M DOING THE TALKING POINTS, BOB) back in ought four, we agreed there weren’t going to be any sex scenes. Bob didn’t like writing them, and I got squicked out thinking about writing them with somebody else, especially with I’m-just-gonna-sit-here-and-stare-at-you-like-I-think-you’re-a-ditz Bob Mayer. (It took Bob a while to get my sense of humor. Actually, he still doesn’t get my sense of humor, he just puts up with me.) So we started putting the book together and I was so excited about it that I told my agent. She was lukewarm on the whole deal—there was a pool boy flavor to the whole “I met this much younger writer in Maui and he suggested we collaborate on a book, why yes, is he attractive, what’s your point?” thing—but when I said, “And there’s no sex in the book,” she said, “Oh, yes, there is.” I said, “But Meg, the book only lasts four days. She can’t have sex with him when she’s only known him for four days.” The laughter that one got reminded me of why one of the agents there said, “Oh, right, you live in Ohio” when I argued with him once. Then Meg said, “Jenny, if I’m going to sell a collaboration, there’s going to be sex in it.”

That seemed fair.

So I e-mailed Bob and said, “There has to be a sex scene, and I think you should write it because people are used to reading my sex scenes, they’re no big deal, but a sex scene from the male point of view, that would be interesting.” And Bob e-mailed back, “Let me think. No.” And the deal had been that I’d do the YEC (yucky emotional crap) and he’d do the violence, so I was stuck.

There were other factors, like we’d both been through some fairly bad times and neither one of us was out of the woods yet, so we were both grim for different reasons. So the first draft of the book was . . . dark. In-the-darkness-there-is-death dark. Read-it-and-kill-yourself dark. Lucy was bitter and angry, and the first sex I wrote was between her and her ex-husband who was trying to get her back. It’s probably the best sex scene I’ve ever written, the character arc was brilliant (she said modestly) and Meg said she’d never read anything like it, that it was great.

But dark. Dark, dark, dark. And as we showed the book to Meg and Jen the same thing kept coming up: Nobody liked Lucy. She was depressed, she was bitter, she was angry, she was mean. Jen wrote to us both in e-mail and said, “Lucy is too depressed.” Bob wrote back, “Depressed Jenny equals depressed Lucy. Cheer up.” Okay, not helpful, but he was right. Plus, they all loved Wilder, so Bob clearly knew what he was doing. (As our agent put it, “Wilder is SO FUCKING HOT.” Yeah, I know, but how about Lucy? Nope. Sigh.)

So I deleted that dark sex scene (kill your darlings, people) and tried again, this time with Wilder and Lucy. The problem was that for the four days of the book, they’re fighting the Russian mob, a murderous ex-IRA agent and his minions, and nasty people on the movie set, and it never let up. So I wasn’t seeing a place for Wilder to turn to Lucy and say, “I’ve only known you a couple of days, and we’re in extreme danger, but you’re a babe, so how about a boink?” Besides, at that stage of writing the book, Wilder wasn’t even speaking in complete sentences.

So I did what I’d vowed I’d never do: I twisted my heroine like a pretzel, completely violating her character to make that sex scene happen. After having spent the entire book as a take-charge , kickass gal, Lucy got all weepy and clingy and one thing led to another . . .

Oh, it was bad. And then it turned comic. I wrote Bob, “What is your guy wearing?” since I was going to have to take off his clothes, and Bob e-mailed back, “I don’t know what I’M wearing, he can wear whatever you want.” But I pushed and he told me and I thought, “He has to be kidding.” Under his loose untucked shirt, Wilder wears body armor. He just got back from Iraq and he doesn’t feel comfortable without it. Velcro-ed to the back of the body armor is his Glock. Under the armor he wears some kind of neoprene T-shirt (I’ve forgotten some of the details). On the inside of his belt is a garotte. Strapped to his calf is a knife. So I was writing this, Lucy discovering this as she undresses him, and I started to laugh, and so did Lucy. When she found the knife, she said, “What the hell were you expecting?” and Wilder said, “Well, not this.”

So okay, it’s a funny scene in a dark book, we needed to make it lighter anyway. (And it was great for learning things about Wilder. I wrote Bob, “She’s not expecting sex, would he have a condom?” and Bob wrote back, “He’s wearing BODY ARMOR, of course, he has a condom. He has to pass a physical every six months to stay on active duty, he doesn’t take chances.”) But then they hit the sheets and Wilder was not . . . interested. He was up for it, everything was functioning, but he was the least interested naked hero I’d ever written. And then it dawned on me that he’d been pretty passive when she undressed him. What the hell? So I wrote Bob and said, “You know, your guy is really passive here. What’s wrong with him?” (Some of you may be thinking, “Well, couldn’t you have written him interested?” I TRIED. He wouldn’t go there.) And Bob wrote back, “He knows he’s going on a mission that night. We never thought about sex before a mission.” And I wrote back, “Then why is he naked in bed with my girl?” And Bob said, “Well, he loves her, and he knows she needs it, so he’s gonna take one for the team.”

You know, even today, more than a year later, whenever I read that, the world goes red. Bob still doesn’t get it. “What wrong with taking one for the team?” he says. It’s a miracle he’s survived this long without some woman killing him.

So I wrote back, “IT’S A PITY FUCK???” And he wrote back, “No, no, no” or words to that effect and then he tried to tell me that he’d been wrong, that taking one for the team was when you were out with your buddy and there was a hot girl he wanted, so you slept with her less hot friend so your buddy could have the woman he wanted.

It was right about then I started checking flights to Savannah and looking for cheap handguns.

So while he was trying to find an explanation that didn’t make me want to hunt him down and kill him, I went back and wrote the whole thing into the scene. Lucy looked at Wilder and said, “What’s wrong with you?” and Wilder said, “Well, I know you need it, so I’m taking one for the team,” and then she made him crawl. I mean, he was on knees by the end of the scene, yes, that way, too. It was very satisfying to write in the heat of the moment, but it was one of the nastiest, ugliest scenes I’ve ever written, and I cut the whole thing right after that. Brrrrrrrr. Never again.

So we went on and revised the book, and as time passed we both got happier and the book did, too, and I went back to the beginning and wrote Lucy cheerful, and Bob wrote Wilder not as grim, and I started playing music while I wrote, mostly the three versions I have of “Holding Out For A Hero” which became Lucy’s song along with “Us Amazonians,” and Wilder’s best friend showed up hitting on everybody which gave Wilder a sense of humor, and once he had a sense of humor, Lucy went, “Hello,” and Wilder wiggled his eyebrows at her, figuratively speaking, and then because she was a take-charge kind of gal, she went out to the woods where he was sleeping (don’t ask, it’s a guy thing) and jumped him, and he was all for it, and I wrote a great sex scene, and everybody was happy.

By then the book had taken on a new rhythm, much lighter with hills and valley of tension. The first sex scene was at the halfway point, the mid turning point, and then just before the third turning point, stuff happens and they think the trouble is over, they’ll be out of there the next day, probably never to see each other again, and they’re alone in a hotel room. Yep, they’d have gone for it.

So I wrote Bob, eight months after the first e-mail, and said, “You know, you really should write this second sex scene in the hotel room,” and he said, “Okay.” To this day, I think it’s because I’d added a Wonder Woman motif and he was interested in the Golden Lasso, which sure enough, showed up in the scene. But I think it was also because he’d become as YECcy as I’d become violent. And the scene he wrote is great.

And then in the rewrites, we revised each other’s sex scenes the same way we revised each other’s non-sex scenes, and it wasn’t a problem. I think we hit bottom with that really awful vengeance sex scene, so after that, anything not actively squicky didn’t bother either one of us. Of course, we’re doing all of this writing in e-mail, too. I don’t see us discussing sex scenes in real life any time soon. Not enough beer in the world. But we’re doing fine with Agnes. In fact, we’re at the first sex scene now (mine to write) and it’s not a problem at all.

Because Shane is not taking one for the team, that’s why.

2020 Note: More He Wrote She Wrote Reruns are here.

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Published on May 20, 2020 01:47

Rerun from He Wrote She Wrote: Bob Drives to Boston, April 5, 2006:

Because Robena requested this:

BOOK TOUR 2006 SIX

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

SHE WROTE:

Help.

I am trapped on the highway in a rental car with an insane person. No internet last night because my apartment was in the basement, none this AM because we had to go see Meg again and then pick up the rental car, at which point my rational partner, Bob, went insane. I’m now safe in a Panera on Rt. 90, but sooner or later I’m gonna have to get back in that car, and I’m telling you, it’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Bob.

This is a guy who patiently holds doors for little old ladies, but put him behind the wheel of a car in Manhattan with a green light and an elderly woman with one foot SLIGHTLY off the curb, and he’s snarling, “DON’T TRY IT, LADY!” It’s like the buried Bronx broke out. “So I think our next move,” he says, in a completely sane voice, “is GET OUT MY WAY, I’M DRIVIN’ HERE, MORON! to concentrate on doing more serious blogs.” It’s like the Bronx him has been unleashed. “We need to WHAT D’YA THINK, YA JERK, YA OWN THIS ROAD? give back more to Cherry Bombs. Which one of them LADY, YOU WANT TO GO THAT SLOW, GET IN THE RIGHT LANE, GODDAMMIT thought of that, anyway? We should thank her. You got the map?”

I’m a nervous wreck.

And don’t get him started on Elizabeth Bishop, who’s been DEAD since 1979, but some guy in the NYT says that she changed the course of American culture, and Bob cannot get past that. “HOW did she change the course American culture? I’ve never even HEARD of her, she’s a poet, for Christ’s sake–MOVE OR LOSE IT, YOU DUMBASS–just tell me HOW she changed the course of–”

“Let it go, Bob.”

“I’m over it. But, jeez, the ENTIRE course of American–BUDDY, YOU WANT TO FUCK WITH ME HERE?–culture? I don’t get it.”

Okay, actually, I’m not a nervous wreck, I’ve been laughing my ass off since we left the Village. Mr. Bob, the Badass.

We may make it to Boston, but if we don’t, it’s because Bob took on an eighteen-wheeler and we lost. On the other hand, I’m learning a whole new set of people skills.

HEY, MORON, I’M BLOGGING HERE, GET THE F OUT OF MY WAY.

See you in Boston.

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Published on May 19, 2020 16:14

Argh Author: Free Download from Jo Walton This Week Only: Tooth and Claw

Brenda Margriet emailed me to tell me that this week’s Tor.com Ebook Club Selection is…

TOOTH AND CLAWby Jo Walton

Download before May 22, please.

Tooth and Claw is a fantasy tale of a family dealing with the death of their father, of a son who goes to law for his inheritance, a son who agonizes over his father’s deathbed confession, a daughter who falls in love, a daughter who becomes involved in the abolition movement, and a daughter sacrificing herself for her husband.

And everyone in the story is a dragon, red in tooth and claw.

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Published on May 19, 2020 08:47

The Twelve Days of Nita: Day Two: Sequence Analysis

I am now deep into revisions with the entire book written, which means lots of analysis. Do not do this during discovery drafts, it annoys the Girls.

Basically, I ran the Act Two plot through the analysis wringer five times:

Once to look at the action only.

Once to look at the antagonist conflict.

Once to ramp up the antagonist conflict because it was weak.

Once to look at the romance.

Once to look at the Button/Max foil romance.

Act Two fell pretty naturally into five parts:

Sequence 1. Nita comes unglued after finding out the supernatural is real; Nick takes care of her

Sequence 2. Nita and Nick negotiate relationship, team.

Sequence 3. Nita and Nick work apart, realize better together

Sequence 4. Nita and Nick work together, real partnership.

Sequence 5. Nita and Nick bond, Nick is poisoned and becomes a different Nick, Nita takes over.

So Act Two is strong on arcing the relationship. And the investigation really does turn up a lot: they find the last missing agent and the first gate, they stop the extortion of demons and businesses, they form a Five Man Band (okay, six man band).

Not sure HOW they for a band. Maybe Nita as Leader, Nick as Lancer, Button as Hitter, Rab and Jeo as Brains, and Max as the Chick. No. Okay, let’s do a Leverage band instead: Nita as Mastermind, Nick as the Grifter , Button as Hitter, Jeo and Rab as Hackers, Max as Thief. That’s not right, either. How about Nita as Leader, Nick as Lancer, Button as Hitter, Jeo as Brain, Max as Grifter, Rab as Chick. Note to self: Work on the team.

Where was I? Right, so if that’s all in there, why is this act such a mess?

After Nancy pointed out that Act Two lacks action, I took another look at the events in that Act and tried to treat it as a story in itself by taking the five part outline and rewriting it as a synopsis, just the action.

Sequence 1.

The problem here is that Nita’s really not active in this first section, Nick is, but it’s because Nita’s just had a major shock. Nick takes Nita back to the bar, gives her food and drink, takes her into a gate to save her from her mother, goes to hell to find her, brings her back to the apartment to keep her safe, works on the stuff they took from Rich’s cabin, and finally comforts her, a new thing for him. That’s all action and movement, but it’s all Nick.

Meanwhile, Nita just tries to keep from screaming. I think I’m okay with that because it’s the first place Nick breaks a sweat. And Nita would be coming unglued. She’s had a long day and then it got really weird.

Sequence 2.

Nita finds Lily in Nick’s bed. He brings breakfast and they negotiate the new normal while Lily tells them about Pure Island.There’s a team meeting where Nick and Nita struggle over leadership. that breakfast lasts forever, and there’s a lot of talking. This needs work.

Sequence 3.

Nick finds a gate, Nita struggles with Lily damage at work, goes to lunch with her dad, shuts down Moloch, deals with Button shooting Max, some more stuff I forget which means this is probably where I cut anything that’s not conflict in motion.

Sequence 4.

Nita and Nick go to the club and search the office, question Tommy; Nita gets attacked by the Lemmons, there’s nothing but action here.

Sequence 5.

Nita kisses Nick on the street and goes to work, he’s poisoned and loses his memory, she comes back to the apartment for lunch and has abrupt sex with him not realizing he’s not her Nick any more, Nick goes to Italy, Nita has a team meeting to find out what the hell just happened, takes over the team.

I think the problems are in sequences two and three (why is it ALWAYS the mess in the middle?), but it’s also that this is not focused enough. I need events that are conflict with the antagonist (Hello, Cthulhu).

So

Sequence 1. Nick holds Nita together while he goes through Rich’s books, shutting down that part of Cthulhu’s operation. Cthulhu sent Rich to take out Nita in Act One and instead pushed her closer to Nick, so he’s not happy.

Sequence 2. Nita and Nick send the team out to shut down the gates Cthulhu has opened; Nita floats the idea of Cthulhu (one force behind all the crimes and disruptions) which the rest of the team rejects because of all the different motives. Cthulhu finds out and is not happy.

Sequence 3. Nick shuts down a gate, Nita promises swindled businesses they’ll get redress, rebuffs Moloch, shuts down Lily. Cthulhu is unhappier.

Sequence 4. Nick and Nita find evidence that sends them after the Lemmons in the next act, which will shut down another part of Cthulhu’s plan. Cthulhu ramps up because they’re getting too close and he’s losing too many sources of income.

Sequence 5. Cthulhu’s stepped up timetable brings Nick down, Nita takes charge.

Yes, but if Cthulhu’s just sitting around saying, “I’m not happy,” that’s not real conflict. He has to DO something to escalate the conflict. He does at the end, but that’s only one move.

So

Sequence 1. Nick kills Rich and takes the evidence of the baph extortion. Cthulhu steps up poison, tells Lemmons to replace income and stop Nita; poisoners will take out Nick.

Sequence 2. Cthulhu sends Lily to see if poison is working, somehow finds out about team plans and moves to stop them. Maybe an attempt on Nita’s life here? Add a spy to the bar? Oh, wait, Vinnie’s right there and he needs something to do in the story. Vinnie, you dumbass, stop talking to Cthulhu. REWRITE HERE.

Sequence 3. Cthulhu sends Moloch to threaten poisoners because the poison isn’t working fast enough, to split up Nita and Nick, and to . . . something a lot stronger because that’s really wimpy conflict. Must cogitate. REWRITE HERE

Sequence 4. Cthulhu sends Lemmons to kill Nita; Stripe saves her, Lemmons get cold feet. He sent Ukoback and Rich to kill her in Act One, but only the Lemmons in Act Two, he’s going to have Moloch take her out in Act Three; maybe have another attempt in Two? Cthulhu screams “What is she, Rasputin?” (I’m kinda wanting a Cthulhu PoV here because what this book need is MORE WORDS.)

Sequence 5. Cthulhu tells the poisoners to just cram the stuff down Nick’s throat and it finally works, Nita steps up to go it alone.

Okay, that’s better. Who knew the antagonist was the key to the conflict. Oh, yeah, I did. (Do as I say, not as I do.)

And then there’s the romance.

Sequence 1. Nita realizes Nick’s been telling the truth about being the Devil’s next-in-line and that she’s not entirely human, which takes down her “he’s a crook” romance barrier; Nick’s poisoning is bringing him back to life enough to notice her body and start thinking about her in terms other than work. Lots of touching.

Sequence 2. Breakfast shows them comfortable with each other, foreshadowing future, working together against Lily without jealousy. Nick proposes. They negotiate the team, foreshadowing future mature love.

Sequence 3. Working apart, they realize they’re better together.

Sequence 4. Good partnership at club, Nita goes to Nick for help after Stripe et al, no drama relationship, solid.

Sequence 5. Kiss on street, Nick is poisoned and comes back as a jerk, weird sex, Nita takes over to save Nick and defeat Cthulhu.

That’s all there, I just need to do a polish. Shiny, shiny romance.

And then there’s the Button/Max relationship. which is there for comic relief and as a foil to Nita and Nick:

1. Button and Max are apart for this section. (This is the first time Nita and Nick really bond.). Button is dealing with Cthulhu through investigating Pure Island and Max is threatening the Lemmons.

2. Button and Max meet, told to search for gate together, don’t like each other. (Nick and Nita negotiate team leadership, grow closer.).

3. Button shoots Max. Max is still working against Nick, Button is not on board with anybody. (Nick and Nita realize they’re better together.).

4. Max brings flowers and candy to the Inn where Button’s staying, tries to charm her into a truce. She rejects the charm, takes the chocolate, they negotiate a cease-fire on Button’s part. (Nick and Nita negotiate during club break-in, become a partnership.).

5. Button and Max at breakfast are working together, cautiously. Nita and Nick are working together, in a romantic relationship. Cthulhu blows everything up by taking Nick out.

Okay, this is starting to take shape. The key is that the same events must do all of those things, multitasking. At least now I have some focus and I can rid of this damn act and go on to Act Three which is all action and fun stuff.

Although there’s also the Nita/Button relationship that arcs here, and the Nick/Max relationship since both are foils to the other . . .

My head hurts.

Must go write now. Y’all have a good day.

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Published on May 19, 2020 02:05

The Twelve Days of Nita: Day Two: