Ann Voskamp's Blog, page 36

The Truth About Who You Really Are

When Megan B. Brown fell in love with a military man, she had visions of adventure. Never in her wildest dreams did she anticipate the challenges and heartache that would follow. After five military moves, ten homes, and four children born in two states, Megan has discovered that the military lifestyle takes a toll. Sacrificing jobs, communities, friendships, and her own dreams of the future, Megan invites military spouses to see that God has placed them right where they are supposed to be-chosen for this specific time and place- and perfectly positioned for the work of The Great Commission. It’s a grace to welcome Megan to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Megan B. Brown

The man who made me a military spouse also had no small part in helping me become a follower of Jesus. Before we met, I was a college dropout trying to live my best life in all the worst ways.

In open rebellion, I denied God’s very existence, felt extremely disenfranchised with the church, and truly believed this broken life is all we get. About six months after we were married, my husband woke me up after I had spent the previous night partying.

“Hey, let’s head to church this morning, babe.” Laughing half-heartedly, I rolled over and put a pillow over my head to signal I was ignoring him.

“Yeah. That’s not happening for you, man.”

“Please?” he replied. “I want you to just try. If you don’t try, I will really be disappointed.” Well, that did the trick. 

As a newlywed, I didn’t want to deny this very kind man an honest effort for his request. So, dragging myself from the warmth of the fluffy down comforter, I started to get dressed. I threw on an old concert T-shirt from a Bright Eyes show in New Orleans, a flowy hippie skirt I nabbed from a local flea market, and my favorite pair of flip-flops. My hair was not so neatly tied into a side bun, and I barely washed my face, much less applied makeup.

I looked nine ways of crazy.

I only share the details of my appearance because it was the early 2000s and this boy took to me to a very respectable, very affluent church looking like a bag lady. I’m sure the deacons there thought I needed some sort of financial assistance, and let’s just say I got my fair share of side-glances.

God has chosen a people for Himself, a people He has blessed and called to holiness.

Visibly uncomfortable, I shuffled through the pews to find a spot that didn’t look occupied or reserved. Finally, settling in, I watched a rotund, stately gentleman as he began waddling his way to the pulpit. His three-piece suit was perfectly pressed, and he held this little rag he was wiping his forehead with. 

My eyes darted around in anticipation as he began to start instructing the congregation, a people he referred to as “Beloved,” to open their Bibles to the book of Ephesians.

On the way out of our apartment that morning, I had grabbed my copy of the Bible. The only Bible I owned was the one obligatory gift Bible people give to high school seniors when they graduate. It was a brand-new, gold-foiled New International Version, and had indented tabs in the pages. To tell you how unfamiliar I was with this particular gift, I was using it as a doorstop in our second bedroom. I had rarely picked it up, much less opened it, before this particular morning in “big church.”

“What’s an ‘Ephesia?’” I asked my husband, whispering. 

All in one moment, I was simultaneously overwhelmed in the conviction of my sin and the joy of knowing that Jesus paid for it all.

After peering over at a few neighbors and saying to myself, It’s in the back half, I thumbed through toward the back of my Bible and found the place.

The pastor started in on the task of unpacking the first chapter. Ephesians 1:1–14 is forever burned into my memory and etched upon my soul. As I listened to the words, I was overcome. God has chosen a people for Himself, a people He has blessed and called to holiness.

“In love,” the pastor read, “he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons [and daughters] through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved”. (Ephesians 1:5–6). “Beloved” was Jesus. Now, I had heard the gospel before and had a few emotional responses to a few Christian worship songs, but this time, the gospel wrecked me. 

All in one moment, I was simultaneously overwhelmed in the conviction of my sin and the joy of knowing that Jesus paid for it all. After the service, we walked back to our car, and I could barely speak.

By the time my husband closed the car doors, I erupted in tears. “Did you know about this? Is this true? For real?”

Keith, sounding excited and somewhat surprised, replied, “I have known this truth since I was five. I am glad now you know it too.” He took me to lunch and walked me through his favorite Scriptures. That day remains the first milestone in my faith walk with the Lord.

Now—and this is truly amazing—when God looks at us, He looks at us through the sacrifice of His Son and views us as unblemished, holy people.

On that day, I truly submitted my heart to Jesus Christ. This is where the journey for all of us begins. 

The apostle Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament we hold in our hands, is telling God’s people who were assembling at the church in Corinth (and us too) about what truth they should stand upon.

“Now I would remind you, brothers [and sisters], of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures . . . (1 Corinthians 15:1–4) 

The phrase “as of first importance” is tattooed in my brain. This is the most important information in order to experience salvation and the gift of eternal life. It is the hinge pin.

Now—and this is truly amazing—when God looks at us, He looks at us through the sacrifice of His Son and views us as unblemished, holy people.

If you are reading this in your living room, tucked into the corner of a coffee shop, or wherever you are, and you can feel the gospel actively tugging and pulling you, it’s time to do something.

It’s time to decide. It is time to repent and believe.

Knowing the gospel, and submitting to it, is the first step toward building a life-changing relationship with the Lord.

Megan B. Brown is a seasoned military spouse, mother of four, and military missionary. She is the Founder and Executive Director of MilSpo Co.– a military centered nonprofit focused on the intentional discipleship of  today’s military community. Throughout Megan’s journey as a military missionary, she has discovered God is faithful-even when things feel like they are falling apart.

In her newest book, “Know What You Signed Up For,” she created a Christian field guide for military spouses who did not know what they signed up for. Calling women to be radically hospitable and unconditionally loving, she shares what it means to follow Jesus, love people, and live on mission as a military spouse.

[ Our humble thanks to Moody Publishers for their partnership in today’s devotional. ]

Only the Good Stuff: Multivitamins For Your Weekend [3.11.2023]

Happy, happy, happy weekend!
Come along with us here because who doesn’t need a bit of good news?

Let yourself smile, be crazy inspired, laugh, love & really live the gift of this life
just a little bit more this weekend…
Serving up only the Good Stuff for you & your people right here:

Zoe & Sue Field – Photographer Zoe & Sue Field – Photographer Zoe & Sue Field – Photographer Zoe & Sue Field – Photographer Zoe & Sue Field – Photographer

– What a happy, happy way to start the weekend –

Psalm 23 for Lent… this was the realest manna for the soul this week

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by IF:Gathering (@ifgathering)

For anyone walking a wilderness–the BEST encouragement.

What this kiddo did for his favorite waiter? Stunning!
To see people and love? What a way to be the gift!

– How to love those in suffering… don’t miss this one. –

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by C.M.T. (@cmtconstructionmachinerytrader)

Dare you to watch and not smile huge! ;)

Oh this on repeat over here!

It’s Here! And you don’t want to miss it!
This quarter’s GRACE CASE!

Order your own Grace Case to receive quarterly cases with amazing fair-trade products from artisans around the world…AND AT THE SAME TIME…

Empower women around the world and care for women,
orphans and refugees with every purchase.

Not only does your Grace Case purchase provide dignified work for artisans around the world, but 100% of the profits go toward funding the work of Mercy House Global, whom we love, love, LOVE!

Learn More & Order Your Very Own GRACE CASE

Okay, really, don’t miss this one. Cities past & present–this is just beautiful & moving.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Justin Agustin (@justinagustin)

Watch this one all the way right to the end! Because she’s so right!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Good News (@tanksgoodnews)

Okay you just HAVE to read the comments!
All the mamas and the friends, let’s hop on this bandwagon too!
This is too good to miss out on!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Maria Shriver (@mariashriver)

Oh my!!! To notice the little things and love large like this gentleman!

This one! So good!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ellen Skrmetti (@justskrmetti)

*Oh goodness! This is just too funny!*

Now THIS is phenomenal! What an initiative to inspire and include. JUST WOW!

Be awed of the miracle of life! Born at 125 days — 126 days early!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Switzerland (@swissfever)

– Oh it’s just so beautiful! God’s grand world! –

Now THIS is a real reason to celebrate!!

“Because when you shine you give the world a glimpse of heaven, so SHINE!“

“Like the jewels of a crown they shall shine” Zechariah 9:16 (ESV)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐲 (@nature__life__beauty)

< Just way too cute not to share. >

On the Book Stack at the Farm

Don’t miss Tara Sun’s recent guest post: Why Depending on God Will Always Be Better Than Hustling

Read Amber Bolton‘s recent guest post: What Legacy of Faith Will You Leave?

– Come along with us for all this glory? –

Soul-truth for this weekend.

“There will be storms
That won’t move out of my way
And trials will come to only test my faith
Your mercy and Your grace
They go on forever and they’re sufficient for today”

[from our Facebook community – join us?]

Give up everyone else’s incomplete story about you
and just completely embrace God’s story for you:

You are made brave and strong.
You are beloved and you belong.
No one’s story about you
gets to rewrite God’s truth about you.

That’s all for this weekend, friends.

Go slow. Be God-struck. Grant grace. Live Truth.

Give Thanks. Love well. Re – joy, re- joy, ‘re- joys’ again

Share Whatever Is Good. 

Why Depending on God Will Always Be Better Than Hustling

From the moment I first crossed paths with her, Tara Sun‘s heart after the good and right and true had me on my feet with gratitude! With daily devotionals, podcast episodes and other resources, Tara loves putting her arm around her online friends, gently encouraging them to keep walking faithfully. She thoughtfully breaks down God’s Word into understandable, relatable pieces, while also showing her beautiful creative side through her digital art. It’s an utter joy to welcome Tara to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Tara Sun

Think back to when you were a little child. I mean, how excited were you to grow up?

Isn’t it funny how when we are young, we can’t wait to “grow up” and be past the era of naps and early bedtimes? I remember two distinct moments in my growing up years when I felt I’d reached a significant milestone on the path to independence.

The first was when I finally could do a ballet bun in my own hair without my mom’s help—it might sound silly, but I had very long, thick hair, so it was a real challenge to do it on my own! The second was when I got my driver’s license. I had been driving tractors and my family’s cars around our property for years, so it felt like a long time coming.

Just hours after getting my license, I told (not asked) my dad that I was going to take a little drive up one of Oregon’s busiest freeways. I turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the driveway feeling like an absolute boss.

Now, it’s not wrong to drive on your own, think on your own, or work on your own. After all, I am one of the biggest advocates for learning how to be a hard, diligent worker and not living complacently like Proverbs 13:4 counsels.

And think of Colossians 3:23! “Work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” The life of a disciple is not well lived or stewarded for God’s glory if it is lived passively, carelessly, or irresponsibly.

The life of a disciple is not well lived or stewarded for God’s glory if it is lived passively, carelessly, or irresponsibly.

But in Jesus’ upside-down kingdom, we see there’s more to the story: working diligently and being responsible is one thing. But believing we are strong enough, powerful enough, and wise enough on our own to live our lives apart from God is another thing.

We weren’t created to be self-sufficient boss babes, but wholly dependent disciples.

This may just be one of the most countercultural messages I could share with you today. In a culture saturated with messages promoting self-sufficiency and independence, God’s economy and agenda sends a completely different message— one that holds the most promise, purpose, and fulfillment.

Every time we buy into the lie that we are self-sufficient beings apart from God, we believe that we do not need God’s empowerment or God’s lordship over our lives.

In Ephesians 2:8–9, Paul wanted the church at Ephesus to understand the lavish gift of God’s grace. Read it with me: “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”

Did you catch that? The life we live and the salvation we’ve been given is not a result of our abilities or our own strength, but a work of God’s grace.

Paul couldn’t have made it clearer: It is not our own doing; it is the gift of God. What does this tell us? This tells us that we are completely dependent on God to save us and continue His work through us daily. Our salvation is a gift of God’s own goodness, not one that we can achieve for ourselves based on our own merit, efforts, or control. This grace is the opposite of autonomy, another way to say self-sufficiency.

We weren’t created to be self-sufficient boss babes, but wholly dependent disciples.

Self-sufficiency tells us that we can do it on our own, that we have the power and capability within ourselves to get the job done; grace tells us God has already done it.

Self-sufficiency suggests we can declare out loud the lives we want and see it come to pass from our own willpower; grace reminds us that everything is a gift from God.

Self-sufficiency is a form of pride; grace is our humble reality.

Perhaps you’re just like me—type A, and very organized, with an independent personality. Or perhaps you’re more type B—laid back, go-with-the-flow, very spur-of-the-moment.

No matter what category we fall into, we can all look to situations in our lives in which we have taken the steering wheel away from God because we thought we were capable enough. We thought, “I got this”, because we had a better idea of how the story should read than God. The road we chose may not have had too many potholes or U-turns along the way, but eventually we could see the road lines ahead of us blurring. We could sense that something wasn’t quite right.

Why?

Because we were never created to be self-sufficient. The truth of the matter is, God didn’t wire us that way.

We may stumble along, seeming to get by okay on our own merit, but we can’t expect to thrive. We were fearfully and wonderfully made to be wholly dependent disciples. And I’m here to tell you there’s nothing wrong with being reliant on or sustained by God. It doesn’t make you weak; rather, it makes you strong. It releases your chains of striving and performing. It gives you rest, knowing you don’t have to have it all together because you are held by a God who does. It opens your eyes to a life story you never thought possible because it’s not up to you; it’s up to the Creator of the universe.

photo credit: Keely K. Studios

So, what do you say, friend? Isn’t it time we all drop the act?

It’s time we stop striving for self-sufficiency and independence within ourselves. It’s time we stop fighting God’s perfect design and just rest in the reality that if He created us, He knows what’s best for us. It’s time we thank God for making us sufficient—not because of ourselves but because we’re connected to Him, covered by Him, and most importantly, saved by Him.

The more we depend on Him and rely on His sufficiency to sustain us, the more we will become like Him.

The next time you’re tempted to operate out of self-sufficiency, take a moment to pause. Bring yourself back to the beginning. If you’re in Christ, remember the gift of God’s grace through His salvation to you. Remember your life started in Christ solely based on what He did—not what you did. Not on our works but on God’s unmerited favor poured out. When we remember where we truly began with God, we can’t help but be dependent on Him. Because we are wholly dependent on God alone for our salvation, we are also wholly dependent on Him for today, tomorrow, and eternity.

Instead of beating yourself up for not being enough, thank God that He makes you enough. Thank God for giving you His sufficiency that promises to work in you and make you more like Him.

What a blessing it is to know that God never wants to leave us the same—the more we depend on Him and rely on His sufficiency to sustain us, the more we will become like Him. The more we will be set apart from the world. The more we will taste and see that His plan for our stories is far greater than what we could dream up.

The life we so desperately desire is nothing without the purpose and plans of the Lord. The abundant life in John 10:10 does not come from you and me grasping at control. It does not come from us insisting on our own way.

The full, abundant life available in Christ comes from surrendering our story at the foot of the cross. It doesn’t come by way of trying to control our way to freedom. It comes by way of realizing our need for Someone greater to write our story because we were not created to do it on our own.

And if you ask me, that’s pretty beautiful.

Tara Sun is the author of new book Surrender Your Story, an online community builder, and popular podcaster.. Her podcast, Truth Talks with Tara, is dedicated to helping us know, love and live God’s Word.

In Tara’s new book, she shows us how “having everything under control” is overrated–not to mention downright dangerous–and reveals the surprising, life-giving alternative: only radical surrender to God brings the peace and fulfillment we yearn for.

Tara knows what it’s like to be obsessed with control–all under the guise of the supposed virtues of being self-sufficient, organized, and high achieving. When a battle with severe chronic illness demolished her illusions of control, Tara embarked on a journey of discovering the antidote to the burdensome and ultimately empty myth of control: surrender to the God who cares for us and has an infinitely better blueprint for a life filled with joy, peace, and meaning.

[ Our humble thanks to Thomas Nelson for their partnership in today’s devotional. ]

What Legacy of Faith Will You Leave?

Amber Bolton leaves a trail of glitter wherever she goes—quite literally! Not only does glitter fall out of her Inspire Bible, but more importantly, her faith shines beyond the pages of her Bible into her life. Amber enjoys expressing her faith in the margins of her Bible as a creative response of worship. She colors and paints, hand-letters, and—you guessed it—adds glittery and sparkly things. Amber’s love for the Bible is an inspiration as she reminds us what is most important: spending time with the Lord in his Word. It’s a grace to welcome Amber to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Amber Bolton

Legacy. It’s a heavy word. It’s what others will think, feel, and believe about us after we are gone. A person’s legacy speaks to how they invested their time in this one short life.

For followers of Jesus, leaving a legacy of faith is essential. We want others to see our faith in action so they’ll remember it long after we are gone. A faith legacy inspires others to live out their faith boldly too, sometimes for many generations.

The legacy left inspires me to think about what kind of legacy I want to leave.

Think of the legacy of faith left by those you’ve known. How has it impacted your life? Was it someone in your family? A friend? Someone from church? An acquaintance?

I think of Joshua leading the Israelites into the Promised Land. Paul writing from jail to tell others about Jesus. My friend Rufus, who lived a life of integrity, laughter, and quiet humility.

The legacy they left inspires me to think about what kind of legacy I want to leave.

James 4:14 says, “Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (NLT). That certainly puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?

Daily demands and never-ending to-do lists often hold me captive. My mind tends to be on this moment. I’m not thinking about the long term. I’m not thinking about eternity while I’m running errands or doing laundry.

I want to inspire others with my faith. I want my life to matter to this generation and beyond.

But I’m not interested in squandering this life.

There is a tension in my heart to live in the moment but also to create a legacy. I want to inspire others with my faith. I want my life to matter to this generation and beyond. How can I do that if all I can think about is taking out the trash and making sure all the bills are paid?

When I feel overwhelmed in the day-to-day, I stop and breathe. I place my hand on my heart and feel air go in and out of my lungs. This reminds me that I am alive. My quick morning fog may still be there, but I have a shift in perspective. I can move away from the daily grind to living out my faith legacy.

A significant way I’ve chosen to live out my faith legacy is by creating in the margins of my Bible.

There are so many ways to engage with and respond to God’s Word. I enjoy creative Bible journaling because it slows me down and allows me to tap into my childlike heart.

I remember what it was like to be a little kid sitting on the floor with my crayons and coloring books. Carefree and creative, I would color inside and outside the lines. I used my stickers generously, and I was present in the moment.

Creative Bible journaling is like that for me now. It’s a breath of fresh air and a reminder to stop and take a moment to connect with the Lord and express my creativity.

I’m inclined to overcomplicate everything! Maybe you can relate. Bible journaling allows me to let go of all the responsibilities and distractions in my life. I can set them aside and invite the Holy Spirit to speak to me as I read my Bible and respond creatively to what I’ve learned.

I enjoy using colored pencils, stamps, paints, and stickers to express what the Lord is speaking to me through his Word. I also have an app that pairs with my Bible (it’s called the Filament Bible app) to help me dig deeper into Scripture. It is filled with Bible study resources, videos, devotionals, worship music, and more. I find the Filament Bible app to be one truly great resource as I’m creating in the margins.

Let’s give ourselves permission to grow our faith each and every day

Being caught in the tension between the “right here, right now” lifestyle and the long-term dream of leaving a legacy of faith is challenging. I often have to stop, take an inventory of what fills my days, and make sure I am prioritizing actions or habits that build up my faith.

The dishes may be piling up and the notifications on my phone may be endless, but taking time to sit in the Word and create in the margins helps me focus on legacy. It helps me build my faith so I can live it in the day-to-day. Slowing down to color and create gives me a chance to reflect on the Word.

In Isaiah 55:11, God says, “It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it” (NLT).

Creating an everyday habit of getting into the Word matters. We can trade in the cleaning brush for a paintbrush and read God’s Word. It all adds up over time.

My legacy is not built on my toughest days, it’s built in the daily habit of soaking in the Word.

My faith is strengthened during those few minutes of Bible journaling. My legacy is not built on my toughest days, it’s built in the daily habit of soaking in the Word. It takes shape as I create a lifestyle that invites the Holy Spirit into my day. Let’s give ourselves permission to grow our faith each and every day—and I’d recommend using a few art supplies while you’re at it!

The Bible I’m pouring my heart into? It becomes a legacy piece that will tell my faith story. My goal is to have one Bible for each important friend and family member in my life. I want them to read my prayers, look at my illustrations, and be inspired to grow their faith too. I want to leave a legacy of faith and inspire others to do the same.

Amber Bolton has been inspiring people to dig into God’s Word and express their faith in the margins of their Inspire Bibles since the original edition first released in 2016.

The Inspire FAITH Bible is the fourth all-new edition of Inspire. It features over 650 faith-themed line-art illustrations to color plus wide margins for journaling. It also has beautifully designed, colorful vellum inserts. The Inspire FAITH Bible is Filament enabled, which means readers have access to thousands of study notes, devotionals, interactive maps, informative videos, worship songs, and more through the innovative Filament Bible app. Simply download the app and pair it with the Inspire FAITH Bible, then scan each page number to unlock resources related to the passage you are reading. Learn more about the new Inspire FAITH Bible at InspireBible.com.

[ Our humble thanks to Tyndale Publishers & Inspire Bibles for their partnership in today’s devotional. ]

Only the Good Stuff: Multivitamins For Your Weekend [3.4.2023]

Happy, happy, happy weekend!
Come along with us here because who doesn’t need a bit of good news?

Let yourself smile, be crazy inspired, laugh, love & really live the gift of this life
just a little bit more this weekend…
Serving up only the Good Stuff for you & your people right here:

Austin Sills – Photographer Austin Sills – Photographer Austin Sills – Photographer Austin Sills – Photographer Austin Sills – Photographer

Oh my! These pictures! All this glory!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Better Together TV (@bettertogethertv)

When we’re looking for a way in the wilderness… this is our hope!

From a Mama who lost her son in a tragedy–choosing to turn around and love, help, teach so others don’t experience the same thing. Applauding this woman! And so thankful for what she’s doing!

Ohh this sweetness! Big, big, happy tears for this family!

This key for Christian living… so crucial and formative to our life with Him.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by IF:Gathering (@ifgathering)

–All we get to do is rest & trust. What a Good Shepherd.–

Love Refugees, Orphans & Widows
with Our Favorite Grace Flame Candles!

Mercy House Global exists to engage, empower and disciple women around the globe in Jesus’ name, with a specific focus on the Bible’s most vulnerable: orphans, widows, refugees.

Subscribe here for a fair-trade monthly candle subscription

Oh these boys! We could ALL use a bit more of this in our lives!
Here’s all of our challenge this week: What are YOU going to tell yourself in the mirror this week?

In need of encouragement? Don’t know quite what to pray anymore?
Don’t miss these 12 prayers for encouragement in trial

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by IF:Gathering (@ifgathering)

So much yes! Eyes that look for the GOOD. Let that always be us!

Spring pictures from all around the world – don’t miss this beauty!

– Just a really good giggle for your weekend –

What a story! On finding God in the everyday moments & how He always meets us

Post of the Week from Around these Parts

First full week of Lent…And there is this heavy sense that we’re wandering in all kinds of wildernesses…
And we are all dog-tired of the relentless desert.

And — sigh — I keep falling, and failing, and standing there at the kitchen window, scanning the horizon, and returning to why this practice of Lent is worth keeping, worth keeping at, as it keeps growing the soul in deeply unexpected ways.

This year, we all desperately need a Lent that lends a Word of HOPE…
Come. Start here…

Why Keeping On with Lent Can Keep Growing Your Soul

—Words We All Need for Lent—

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by John Derting (@johnderting)

– Just a good soul exhale right here. –

What these ones are doing to help & see life turn around for MANY in Africa… what a gift!

Now that’s a different type of patient care! What one woman is doing to give her gift and love deeply…

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by | Hello! Welcome to #these_funny_videos community (@these_funny_videos)

< This one just gave us a good chuckle >

Don’t miss Phylicia Masonheimer‘s recent guest post:
Your Faith Feel Hard Somedays? Good News: You Have a Helper! Let Him Help Make sure you read Beth Moore‘s recent guest post:
What Happens When God Calls You to Serve Read Kendall Vanderslice‘s recent guest post:
When God Doesn’t Give Us the Life or the Body We WantMake sure you read Peter Mutabazi‘s recent guest post:
Freedom: How Moving from Hate to Forgiveness Changed One Man’s LifeIf You or Your People – Little or Large – need a hug & More Courage to do the Thing You’re Made to do, You Need — Your Brave Song —
To Sing God’s Love Song About You on Repeat in Your Heart.

We created this one for YOU, and especially for:

the uncertain and not surefor the outsiders and all who aren’t sure where and how they belong for the all the littles and bigs — who all need the freedom of being child-like for everyone who is a maker – all of us! – who need to know a love so large it pushes out all their fears! Order Your Brave Song Today – & Have a Brave Soundtrack for All of Living

It’s just so lovely– come along with us & breathe in beauty?

This song! You just have to listen to this one!

“Come magnify the Lord with Me
And lift our faces up to majesty
Perfect is the Lamb who gave His life
Perfect is the Father’s sacrifice
Matchless is the glory of our King”

[from our Facebook community – join us?]

End of the week, and no matter what hard thing you’re facing or how much it feels like God doesn’t hear your prayers, this is what you need to know:
Jesus is praying for you. (John 17:6-9)

The One who breathes stars breathes prayers for you,
the One whose words spoke the world into being uses priceless words over your being,
the One who made time, lives beyond time, controls all of time,
uses all of His time to pray for you, because you are priceless to Him.

Your prayer warrior is more than any warrior —
He is the king of Kings and He has already won.

Jesus lives to endlessly, relentlessly and flawlessly pray for you (Hebrews 7:25),
and your prayer partner is the One who possesses all power,
and what He is praying for is your protection (John 17:11), your interconnection (11),
your God-satisfaction (13), and your always-sanctification. (17-19).

Jesus is praying for your holiness because He knows holiness is your ultimate happiness.

Jesus is praying that you’ll be set apart from what threatens to take part of your heart.

Because He knows: When you just want Him — then you always get just what you want.

Jesus is praying that you’ll be brave when you’re about to break,
that you’ll turn from what’s tempting, that you’ll stand against what’s strangling,
that you’ll escape into Him instead of trying to escape in a thousand unfulfilling ways.

Hard times don’t need to understand what God’s doing —
like they need to know God’s standing with us,
that He’s kneeling in prayer for us at all times.

Nothing makes you more fiercely brave than knowing Jesus is fiercely praying for you.

That’s all for this weekend, friends.

Go slow. Be God-struck. Grant grace. Live Truth.

Give Thanks. Love well. Re – joy, re- joy, ‘re- joys’ again

Share Whatever Is Good. 

Your Faith Feel Hard Somedays? Good News: You Have a Helper! Let Him Help.

Living on a northern Michigan farm, right across Lake Huron from our Canadian farm, Phylicia Masonheimer spends her days tending kids (both human and goat) and teaching theology. I truly love this woman — and she loves Father, Son and Holy Spirit and she loves to share how the things we believe about God change our everyday lives and conversations, inviting us to be better witnesses to the world. It’s an absolute joy to welcome Phylicia to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Phylicia Masonheimer

I’d hung beads in my bedroom doorway. I liked how they looked. I was at my desk staring at the beads, chewing an eraser, when Dad came in. He leaned a callused hand against the doorway and parted the beads with a tolerant smile. I smiled, turned my journal over. He glanced down. “What’s this?” He turned over the book on my desk. The Perfect Christian.

“I found it on the shelf, probably from Grandma’s stuff,” I said hastily. Dad was kind, but I felt foolish. I wanted to know it all, to do faith right.

“You know,” Dad said, setting the book back down, “you don’t have to try that hard.”

 I rolled my eyes. “We can’t all be perfect like you, Dad.”

“I’m not perfect, you know that. I’m saying: these books aren’t what helps you be a Christian. They aren’t what makes you a follower of God.”

I crossed my arms. “Then what does?”

I Will Send You a Helper

A simple version of the answer to that question is just three words: the Holy Spirit. When we go deeper into the expanded version of that answer, it’s called pneumatology, or the theology of the Holy Spirit. (Pneumatology comes from the Greek pneuma, which means “spirit” or “wind.”) This “ology” sums up everything the Bible says about the Spirit’s helping, advocating, empowering, purifying nature.

Jesus specifically talked about the Spirit to His disciples in John 14:

Jesus knew we could not live the new life on personal power. He wanted His disciples to make full use of His presence—and He wants us to do the same.

If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. (John 14:15–18)

Other translations say “helper” instead of “advocate.” This Helper, the very Spirit of Christ remaining with the disciples, would equip them for the task ahead: building the church. 

The Spirit Jesus promised was no different from the Spirit of the old covenant. He provided the same equipping and presence. The difference after Jesus is His permanence. The Holy Spirit is our Helper, not just for one task or temporary calling but for all of life in Christ. Jesus knew we could not live the new life on personal power. He wanted His disciples to make full use of His presence—and He wants us to do the same.

Dad picked up the book on my desk and flipped idly through the pages, ignoring my crossed arms. “Your desire to do the right things is good, Phylicia,” he said. “But being a Christian is not about white-knuckling good deeds or being ‘the perfect Christian,’ as this book promises.”

“Well, what else am I supposed to do? How else am I supposed to do what’s godly? It certainly doesn’t feel easy, if you say it isn’t so ‘hard.’” I didn’t even try to hide my irritation. Honestly, the Christian life didn’t feel easy or light to me—it felt like one long haul of trying to obey.

You have a Helper. Let Him help.

“It is hard,” Dad replied. “I’m not denying that. But the difficulty isn’t in doing good things. That’s not where your energy is to be directed. You’re to focus on letting the Spirit guide you.

Follow His voice. Rely on His leading, which will never contradict the Bible. It’s not about memorizing lists of what to do or not do. He will tell you what to do.” He turned and parted my hippie-bead doorway, the pink cascade of beads a wild irony against his builder’s plaid shirt. “You have a Helper,” he said. “Let Him help.”

We have the Spirit of Christ dwelling within us, empowering us to live up to that new identity in Him!

The Force of White Knuckle Christianity

Perhaps faith feels heavy to you. Perhaps you are memorizing the fruit of the Spirit and trying to do them on your own strength. Maybe you’re like sixteen-year-old Phylicia, sitting in the parking lot of my summer job at the greenhouse, pink Bible in one hand and sandwich in the other. I memorized the passages about Christian behavior: love, joy, peace, purity, honor, respect. I would rehearse them, hop out of my cheap red convertible, and muscle my way through the workday on willpower-morality.

I suppose this is what Dad foresaw that day by my desk: the force of white-knuckle Christianity—driving hard, giving it all, right before the crash and burn.

 Let Him help. Don’t do it alone.

That’s always been the Spirit’s role: to help. To advocate. To empower. From creation, when He hovered over the waters in union with Father and Son, three Persons in one holy God, the Spirit’s presence poured out goodness. He empowered beauty, order, and peace, and He still does in the world and in us. He helps us become like Christ. Without Him sanctification isn’t possible.

I wanted a nice, neat checklist. Something I could sign my name on, a way to say, I’m doing this Christian thing right. But the way to do the Christian life right is much simpler than that. Jesus would say it is easy and light (Matthew 11:30). Paul said it this way: “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16). The “flesh” is your pre-Jesus identity. You were pronounced free. You are no longer a slave. To act like a slave is to live into your old, unredeemed humanity. But that is not who you are.

In Christ, we have a new life, new hope, new purpose. But most of all, we have the Spirit of Christ dwelling within us, empowering us to live up to that new identity in Him!

“The Holy Spirit bears the fruit of the Spirit in our character to the degree we let Him.”

As a saint in Jesus, you have a responsibility to image Him—to reflect His heart in the world. We all do. But we can’t muscle our way into that reality on our own. We have to allow the Spirit to transform us, which involves having ongoing contact with God. The Holy Spirit bears the fruit of the Spirit in our character to the degree we let Him. His role is transforming us, and our role is to rest, remain, and live in connection to God through prayer—an ongoing heartfelt conversation—so we know His voice and are ready to obey Him. This is how we are sanctified, or purified, into Christ’s image.

When my dad objected to The Perfect Christian, I felt attacked. I liked the promise of an impersonal Christian faith. But that was Dad’s point: Christianity is intensely personal. The Spirit is dwelling in you, with you, shaping and forming you to look like Jesus. That takes daily interaction with Him! It takes listening for His voice.

Walking by the Spirit does not guarantee an emotional change. You may not feel like obeying His voice. You may pray and ask for strength or patience and still not feel it before stepping out in obedience. This is faith! Walking by the Spirit is faith that God will supply your every need in Christ Jesus, including your emotional capacity (Philippians 4:19).

As evangelist D.L. Moody put it: “There is no use in attempting to do God’s work without God’s power. A man working without this unction, a man working without this anointing, a man working without the Holy Ghost upon him, is losing time after all.”

Phylicia Masonheimer is wife to Josh and mama to Adeline, Geneva and Ivan. She is a writer, speaker and podcast host teaching Christians how to know what they believe and communicate faith well in the world – beginning at home! She writes on Every Woman a Theologian and her podcast is Verity with Phylicia Masonheimer.

How do we know what we believe about God is true? We hold beliefs about the world, ourselves, and Jesus —beliefs we may have adopted unknowingly based on experience or the culture’s messages.

But God has revealed Himself through Scripture so it can transform how we view and navigate the world—how we think, act, love, work, marry, and parent. When we do that, we become theologians. No, we’re not wearing tweed suits or giving lectures; we’re driving to our corporate job every morning, or juggling babies on our own, or connecting with our communities. We are women who want to know who God is and how He answers our toughest questions.

Through Every Woman a Theologian you will grow as a woman able to discern truth, who knows what she believes, and who lives her faith boldly in a post-Christian world.

[ Our humble thanks to Thomas Nelson for their partnership in today’s devotional. ]

Why Keeping On with Lent Can Keep Growing Your Soul

 First full week of Lent.

And — sigh — I keep falling, and failing, and standing there at the kitchen window, scanning the horizon, and returning to why this practice of Lent is worth keeping, worth keeping at, as it keeps growing the soul in deeply unexpected ways.

It has to be more just over 10 years ago now, that I was standing right there up on the kitchen table, snapping the shutter on a bouquet of roses, when my brother called.

Levi had picked it up, his eyes twinkling like stars risen early.

I only could hope that Levi hadn’t mentioned that he’s answering because his Mama’s standing smack dab center in the middle of the table, her all happy over a bunch of God glory found in flowers.

“Hello? … Oh, hi Uncle John.”

I’d smiled. 

Levi was then, and still is, a miniature mirror image of my brother, smattering of freckles bridging across the nose and the thirty years that span between them.

Levi mouthed it large, one hand over the receiver.”ARE YOU AVAILABLE, MOM?”

Oh, but wouldn’t I stop being Mom if I stopped being available? I set the camera aside, hop off the table. Levi had grinned and handed over my brother.

“Hey. So tell me. Lent. Fill me in, sister. What’s the deal? Like – the actual point?”

“The wilderness is where the Word is heard and we’re formed into a person of the Word.”

Our faith tradition doesn’t really practice Lent.

And apparently, at least that today, my brother doesn’t do Google.

Apparently, if need be, he just waits for his older-by-only a -year-and-13-days sister to just Google. 

I could hear the rumble of the diesel engine of his pick-up in the background. He could hear the low roar of my kids.

“Okay, yeah… Lent. Lent is this preparing the heart for Easter.” Lent’s like going with Jesus into the wilderness for forty days, that we might let go of things that don’t ultimately matter, to experience more of the One who ultimately matters most.

The Hebrew word for wilderness echoes with the same letters as the Hebrew word “medabber” — which means “speaking.” 

“The promised answer to our prayers may not be found in promised lands, but in wildernesses.”

The wilderness is where more of the Word spoken is heard — and we’re formed more into a person of the Word. 

The promised answer to our prayers may not be found in promised lands, but in wildernesses.   

Every wilderness, every desert — is not where God deserts— but is where God woos and speaks with a whispered Word. 

Lent leads far away from the world and out into wildernesses so the soul can find a way to hear Him.

On other end of the line, my brother was silent. I’m not so sure that this is good. I kept talking. Trying to find the way through to what this season of Lent really means. 

“Lent isn’t about forfeiting as much as it’s about formation. Not about forfeiting stuff as much as God forming souls.”

Like when we came to Jesus the very the first time, Lent returns us to Him again: We renounce to be reborn. It’s about this: We break away from more – to become more.”

Still silence. I took one last swing at it.

“Don’t think of Lent as about working your way to salvation. Think of it as working out your salvation.”

I wait.

Lent isn’t about a way to earn your salvation, Lent is about the way to the One who bought your salvation – and paying Him more attention. 

And then my brother spoke slow. 

“Yes…. Yes…. I get it. I’m going to do it with you, sister. I’m doing Lent. God’s been speaking things into my life and I think this is how He wants to meet me right now.”

Like brother, like sister.

Resource: Wooden Lent Wreath at The Keeping Company

I had stacked clean dishes and my brother and I had talked about some dark corners of our lives. We confessed. We prayed.

And then? We lived the first week of Lent.

And this is what happened, as it happens every single season of Lent: I forsake and I fast — and then I forget and I flounder, and I fall… and I fail.

I had closed my eyes and the heart cries silent: “How do I remember You so little?”

“You’ve got to choose to be dispossessed of all the possessions that possess your heart— before one can be possessed of God.”

It is an irrefutable reality: You’ve got to choose to be dispossessed of all the possessions that possess your heart— before one can be possessed of God.

Lent is about letting the things of this world fall away, so the soul can fall in love with God. 

God only comes to fill the empty places and kenosis is necessary —  emptying the soul to know the filling of God.

When my brother had called late in that first week of Lent that year, just to talk,  I was brutally honest and he listened. He unwrapped his week haltingly. Like brother, like sister.

“Lent, it’s teaching me.”My throat stings. “I see how incapable I am in the flesh, how in bondage I am. That I can’t keep any law perfectly. Worse – oh, this cuts deep — at times…”

I had struggled to keep composure, to grip the words and hand them over. Can I even say these words?

“Worse… at times… I don’t even want to keep the law.” Am I saying I don’t care about breaking laws or breaking God’s heart? 

Lent is a revelation of our temptations and soul deformations – and how in need we are of daily, real salvation.

“Lent is about letting the things of this world fall away, so the soul can fall in love with God.” 

I’d looked over at the calendar: 

40 Days. 

Lent is 40 days of being on the Way with Jesus. 

40 Days of being on the Way with Jesus –a way  through wildernesses, a way through Gethsemanes, a way of the Via Dolorosa, the way of suffering, ultimately taking the  way of the Cross – the way that leads to resurrection and the abundant LIFE in Christ, the way beyond our wildest dreams!

Forty days – on the way of the Way Himself.  

Jesus with a crown of thorns. Jesus bent low, God carrying my rotting mess, Grace doing what I cannot do, and I cannot ascend to God but He will descend to me.

I had whispered goodbye to my brother because I couldn’t speak.

And I reached out to pick up the wooden cross there on the edge of the table. 

Jesus will have to do everything. 

The Way Himself will have to make the way, by actually being the only Way. 

Resource: Wooden Lent Wreath at The Keeping Company

And this year, during the first full week of Lent, we are all dog-tired of the relentless desert — and this year, we need a Lent that lends a Word of HOPE.  

And in Hebrew, the root for “Word” — is dabar — which is also the very root word for desert, “midbar” in Hebrew, — which can rightly be translated as “promise” or “answer,” or “place of the word.”  

Which is to say: “Desert” and “word” both rise from the same root word in Hebrew.  

Which is to say, there is a way: The desert we face can speak a word of HOPE. 

Wasn’t it right there, like a raised map, like a map to run fingers along, for all the lost looking for the Way, all there through that very Good Book: 

It is in the desert that God has a word for Abraham, for Moses, for the Israelites, for Isaiah….  for Jesus… for us. 

That word for desert, “midbar” — it also shares the identical root of the Hebrew word “diber” — which means: Holy of Holies.  

“Our hardest of deserts – can be our Holy of Holies.

Where we’ve lost everything else – very God meets us.”

Our hardest of deserts – can be our Holy of Holies. 

Where we’ve lost everything else – very God meets us. 

Deserts are not places of despair — deserts are sacred spaces of divine dialogue. 

The ache of this old broken world doesn’t seem to stop – but we can yield. Yield to the wilderness —-  come and be still… and let the wilderness yield a word from God. 

What if there’s no need to struggle against the wildernesses, this holy of holies, because: 

Wildernesses are not barren places — listen: they bear a word from God. 

For all those brave enough to be on the SACRED way. 

So we keep on keeping on with Lent and letting go of more of this world, to be led more deeply into a wilderness, that is actually the wildness of hearing more intimately the reviving heartbeat of God.

Are you desperate for more than just a way through, but The Way through?

Honestly, all our heartache, grief, suffering, obstacles, they all come in waves. There is no controlling life’s storms; there is only learning the way to walk through the waves.

It’s really possible: you can find a way – The Way – through the waves of life into deeper intimacy with the WayMaker Himself. With a S.A.C.R.E.D. daily habit in hand, learn to navigate through the pounding storms of life with an internal calm and peace that is anchored and unwavering.

For every person who is walking a hard way and looking for a way through, WayMaker is your sign.

Your sign that there is hope, that there are miracles, and that everything you are trying to find a way to, is actually coming to meet you in ways far more fulfilling than you ever imagined.

Gr ab Your Copy of WayMaker — and begin the journey you’re desperately looking for…

Light a Flame of Grace Today

Kristen Welch and I are sorta, kinda, soul sisters? As I serve on the board of directors of the ministry Kristen founded, Mercy House Global, and we serve together to dream up for you the best #FAIRTRADE beauty of The Grace Case and the Grace Flame Candle subscription that supports local refugees while funding the Kenyan maternity homes of Mercy House — so I get to see it first hand again and again, what we can all do together to change the world for women, if we say our brave yes. I absolutely love this woman with all my heart — it’s a grace to welcome my soul sister, Kristen, to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Kristen Welch from Mercy House Global

On a cool Friday in October a few years ago, Ann Voskamp and I knocked on a door together in Houston, Texas. 

I was going to introduce her to a Muslim family from Syria who had changed my life.

Get up every day and light a flame and fall in love with all the same things.

Ann writes of our day, “I once walked up to the door of a grandfather refugee from Syria, who now lives under a roof in Houston, and he flung open the door of his narrow townhouse, then flung his arms wide open and bellowed, “A million, million welcomes!” I smile shy. A part of my heart falls in love with him.

“Get up every day and light a flame and fall in love with all the same things.”

He’s only been on safe soil away from the missiles exactly 6 months minus a day.

He welcomes me into their small living room and tells me that they had raised their children under a roof in Damascus, Syria, and they kept count, until they counted 57 houses bombed in their neighborhood.  “It was the same, day after day — danger, barrel bombs falling from sky, driving our children right into the ground.”

“There are people who are living a life that is gloriously alive after death.”

His daughter, Muna, stands at the table awash in later afternoon light, trimming wicks of candles one by one.

The white-haired father pauses — composes himself — then looks me in the eye.

“If you are actually killed — you die once. But if you actually have to live through the same nightmare, the same pain, the same misery, day after day, you die a hundred times. I am alive, but I have died a hundred thousand times.”

There are people who are living a life that feels worse than death.

“You have come for the candles we have poured by hand?”

God is doing something uniquely special in this candle-maker and this is your invitation to light up your home and invest in her coming-to-America story of trial and triumph. 

Muna looks up from the table, her eyes glinting warm. There are people who are living a life that is gloriously alive after death.

“Yes sir,” we return his smile, and wink. “We’ve come for the light we’re all going to make.”

On the hour drive home, Ann’s eyes on fire, we dream about how a candle, a light, could not only provide desperately needed work for this family of seven, starting over in America, but it could pave a way to shine the light of Jesus deep into the heart of this home and these lights would burn brightly one day in your home. 

Isn’t this the striking, startling, stunning work of the Gospel? How God connects us all with the Light of love. Perspective can change the way we see the world and God lights the way.

That was 4 years ago and thousands of candles later… made by Muna and her mother, for Grace Flame, the candle subscription club birthed in my car with Ann Voskamp on a chilly October day. I am an eyewitness to a story of hope and daily, I watch it unfold and the light of Jesus burns brighter and brighter.

Muna carries the weight of her entire family now and making candles has never been more critical. She is so intertwined in my life that she feels like family more than friend. God is doing something uniquely special in this candle-maker and this is your invitation to light up your home and invest in her coming-to-America story of trial and triumph. 

“Life is hard,” she said the other day to me. Besides making candles, she works part time at Mercy House Global, packing orders. She is my sister and co-worker. I put my arm around her waist, thinking my own difficulties paled in comparison to her losing everything, even her country. “Yes, it is.” I said honestly. Then we looked at each and said in unison, “But we have each other,” and laughed at our perfect timing.

“To light a flame of grace and choose one way, every day, to live out one same brave habit, or to be grace to one person, or to pray day for one person, one situation, this one hurting world,” Ann Voskamp.

Every time I light a candle in my home that Muna carefully poured and the fragrance fills the air, I am reminded of the beautiful opportunity we have to be a light in this dark world… 

Yes, Muna, life is hard, but we have each other.

Today, you can become a part of this incredible story by joining Grace Flame for only $21 a month and receive a stunning high end candle and inspirational card. You will not only empower Muna with your purchase, but also contribute towards the work of Mercy House Global who is funding rescues of pregnant, trafficked teens who are welcomed into maternity homes in Kenya. Every candle comes in a box, hand-stamped by a USA group transitioning out of homelessness and difficult situations. 

Some purchasing decisions are difficult, but occasionally the light shines on an opportunity to be a part of something holy and you simply can’t look away.

“To light a flame of grace and choose one way, every day, to live out one same brave habit, or to be grace to one person, or to pray day for one person, one situation, this one hurting world,” Ann Voskamp.

Sign Up for your own Grace Flame Candle Subscription and Support Many Amazing Women like Muna

Mercy House Global exists to engage, empower and disciple women around the globe in Jesus’ name, with a specific focus on the Bible’s most vulnerable: orphans, widows, refugees.

Your Grace Flame subscription provides dignified jobs for Syrian refugees, support for rescued teen mothers in Kenya, and sustainable work for a local homeless community in Conroe, Texas. 

Learn more about Mercy House Global and the beautiful, powerful work they are doing by visiting their website.

When God Doesn’t Give Us the Life or the Body We Want

Kendall Vanderslice has spent her whole life struggling to love her body. Since childhood, she’s been embarrassed by her appetite and her desire to enjoy good food. She’s been ashamed of her weight and jealous of those who seem to navigate life with carefree ease. But when she embarked on a career as a professional baker, God showed her how He uses our hunger to draw us close. In By Bread Alone, Kendall invites us to see the tangible ways the Bread of Life uses actual bread to teach us about the goodness of our bodies and the Body of Christ. It is a grace to welcome Kendall to the farm’s table today…

Guest Post by Kendall Vanderslice

“Do you want to be a mother?” my new friend Aminah asked. She’d been observing me as I played with her daughters while she prepared dinner. 

By holding back hope, I thought I’d be able to hold back the intensity of my longing.

My eyes began to well with tears at her question. I tried not to allow myself to think about my longing for a family. Several of my friends had received PCOS diagnoses recently after struggling for years to conceive. I’d been living with my own diagnosis for over a decade, as well as continued frustration in the dating realm.

As the belief that God would never answer my prayer for a partner took root, along with the growing awareness that my body might not be able to hold on to a pregnancy if given the chance, I learned to dam up hope of marriage and motherhood. By holding back hope, I thought I’d be able to hold back the intensity of my longing. Somehow the hollowness seemed more manageable than drowning in disappointment.

God has said no to the family I want, I told myself. Rather than exert any more energy pleading for a partner, I begged God to give me peace. Aminah shifted the subject, which I was grateful for, as I didn’t want to sob in the middle of their family dinner.

As the meal went on, we talked about teaching and writing and, naturally, bread. We cleared the table and discussed my indecision over whether to pursue doctoral work; she heard my anxieties over the future—the same ones I’d been mulling over for the past few years. I held many dreams but struggled to understand how they might all piece together.

Her hands were deep in suds, washing dishes, when I said, “I just want to write and bake and teach!”

God was inviting me to feel the full intensity of my longing, to allow those longings to shape and soften me…

She reached over, taking my hands in her own, and replied, “And to be a mother. You are allowed to say it.”

Something inside me broke open. That dam I’d so carefully constructed broke, and I could no longer ignore the intensity of my desire. I held in my tears until I reached the car, when I turned on the music she’d given me: an album of music focused on themes of extended waiting. 

The next day I embarked on a thirteen-hour road trip to visit my family and I wept on and off the entire way. The prayers and tears flowed not just out of loneliness or disappointment but out of my anger at God and my anger at my lack of control.

“Wait for the Lord, whose day is near,” I sang with the Taizé chants on my playlist. “I waited for the Lord / God heard my cry.”

“I’ve waited,” I yelled, banging on my steering wheel as I wound up I-95 through Virginia. “But you’re not listening!” I screamed.

“You can do anything,” I sobbed. “Why won’t you step in here?”

I balled my fists, searching for release of some sort but out of words to convey the depth of my heartache. I’d leaned into the community God had put before me. I’d tried to make peace with the idea that I might never bear children or find a spouse. But as sweet as my friendships and church relationships were, the hollowness remained.

As I allowed my tears and my anger to flow, I sensed that God might not be asking me to let go of my desire, challenging me to be content living without the family I wanted. My singleness was not a mathematical equation I could solve by calculating God’s answers to other women’s prayers. It was not a game I could win with the right amount of contentment. It was not a burden I needed to release so I could see the joy.

Rather, God was inviting me to feel the full intensity of my longing, to allow those longings to shape and soften me, as water softens the fibrous compounds in wheat. God was inviting me to weep and mourn the pain of unfulfilled desire without attempting to make sense of it all.

It is the breaking that allows us to eat and, in our eating, to be transformed.

There was no assurance that doing so would be the key to unlocking my desire—in fact, it held the potential for deeper pain if my prayers remained unanswered. But learning to long also brought with it the freedom to hope, so I decided to give them both a try. The dams I’d built to block my sadness gave in the rest of the way. My emotions came over me in heavy waves. But I found a new tenderness there too.

In Christian tradition, one of the primary means of knowing God is by breaking. In the sacrament of the Eucharist, the breaking of the loaf marks the moment of mysterious transformation from ordinary bread into Jesus’ Body. It was the breaking of bread that alerted the disciples of Christ’s presence on the path to Emmaus.

In the Gospel account, the disciples walked and talked with a stranger for hours about the perplexing accounts of Jesus’ resurrection. Only when the stranger broke bread and extended it to them did they realize he was Jesus, the one who had been walking with them all along.

Breaking is a necessary aspect of remaking. It is the breaking that allows us to eat and, in our eating, to be transformed. It is the sharing of a broken loaf that binds us together in community.

In the collapse of my emotional dams, I felt hope and longing wash over me, transforming me. This breaking alerted me to the nearness of God in my weeping. It allowed me to see God not as a divine puppeteer holding me back from the good things I desired but as a tender mother holding me in her arms, her tears mingling with my own.

Kendall Vanderslice is a baker and writer who lives in Durham, North Carolina, with her beagle, Strudel. Yes, Vanderslice is truly her last name! When she embarked on a career as a pastry chef, she found that her love of bread transformed the ways she read Scripture. Fascinated by God’s use of food throughout the arc of the Gospels, she merged her work in the kitchen with academic study of food and theology. These days her best thinking takes place when she’s got dough between her fingers. You can follow her work at www.edibletheology.com. 

Kendall’s new book, By Bread Alone: A Baker’s Reflections on Hunger, Longing, and the Goodness of God shares the lessons God has taught her through bread. It’s a book for those with messy relationships with their own bodies, or with bread, for those who don’t quite feel like they belong. God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the ways we hoped, but God offers us tangible reminders of God’s love nonetheless. And somehow, that’s enough.

[ Our humble thanks to Tyndale for their partnership in today’s devotional. ]

Freedom: How Moving from Hate to Forgiveness Changed One Man’s Life

Peter Mutabazi has a story worth hearing. From his childhood as a street kid in Kampala, Uganda, to his years as a foster and adoptive dad in the United States, Peter’s life is filled with God’s grace and mercy, love and empowerment, and hope in the face of hardship. In this post, Peter reveals the difficulty he had forgiving his abusive and angry father and the lessons he learned in the killing fields of the Rwandan genocide. It’s a grace to welcome Peter to the farm’s table today…

Guest post by Peter Mutabazi

After five days of delivering relief supplies to children’s refugee camps, we finally started back north to Uganda. I still held my breath, wondering if a militia group had a roadblock up ahead where they’d drag us out of the trucks, hack us to death, and take our vehicles.

Thankfully, we never encountered any problems. We drove back over the roads we came in on. We saw more mass graves, more closed-up churches, more living zombies slowly walking along the roads, but at least we were headed home where we could leave these horrors behind us. I don’t think I fully relaxed until we finally crossed into Uganda. 

I had a lot of time to think during the drive home. My mind kept running back to the same questions that had hit me soon after we had arrived: How different was I from the people who had carried out this genocide? They were motivated by hate. They felt justified in carrying out acts that defy description. If given the chance, would I do the same to my own father?

I had to admit there were times in my life when the answer was yes. I wanted to see him die. I wanted him to suffer as deeply as he made me suffer.

That’s when it hit me. I told myself that I had overcome my past. After all, I had finished high school and had been accepted by Makerere University. I had hopes and dreams for my future. I had already achieved more than anyone in my family, much more.

Why? I asked myself. What really motivated me?

Was it to reach my dreams, or was it to crush my father?

My father had told me I would never amount to anything. I wanted to prove him wrong. But then what?

Forgiveness not only set me free from my past but also took away my fear for the future.

I realized that my hatred for my father and my desire to rub my success in his face only showed how strong my past still had ahold of me. I thought I had moved past who I had once been, but now I realized that it was like I had never left my father’s house. I had not grown.

My father still had as much control over me as he did when I was a little boy. Hating my father motivated me and defined me. I really did not know who I was apart from it. 

Five days in the hell that was post-genocide Rwanda made me realize I had hated long enough. I had to be free of the bitterness before it consumed me, as it had consumed Rwanda’s countryside. Perhaps I would never lash out toward my father like one tribe had lashed out against the other in Rwanda, but as long as I held on to my hate and refused to forgive, I was no more alive than the people I saw staggering down the roads or standing next to the mass graves. 

During this trip to Rwanda, I realized that forgiveness was what I finally had to experience with my father. The whole idea of forgiveness means releasing another from their debt. With God’s help, I turned loose the debt of pain my father owned me.

This marked the beginning of my life of faith, and through the lens of faith, I finally saw my father for who he was: a lost man in need of hope, just like I had been. 

That’s what hate does: it keeps us locked, stuck, and prevents us from the growth we are meant for. But forgiveness can set us free.

Not growing up with a loving father impacts me every day, and it can trigger sadness or motivate me toward goodness. But my hope gave way to understanding and forgiveness toward my father.

He did not have to change to earn my forgiveness. Instead, I saw that he was who he was. He remained the angry, mean, argumentative person he had always been, but I knew I could not do anything to change that. I simply had to accept him for who he was. Once I saw him in this way, I discovered his words could no longer exact an emotional toll from me.

Forgiveness not only set me free from my past but also took away my fear for the future. I could now embrace my past and use it to make a difference in the lives of children. 

In the years since my first trip into Rwanda, I have traveled all over the world. I have seen firsthand the destructive power of hate, but I have also seen the healing power of generosity, acceptance, and love. The latter is our only hope.

We all have the opportunity to help others, inspire others, and love others from a sincere heart.

We all have the opportunity to help others, inspire others, and love others from a sincere heart. I’ve worked hundreds of hours to help impoverished children move into opportunity. My passion for giving kids a chance to be known, be heard, and be seen goes beyond any other dream I’ve ever had. And spreading that message to adults is equally necessary.

I know firsthand that if you don’t deal with the hate you experienced as a child, it will continue to influence your future well into adulthood. That’s what hate does: it keeps us locked, stuck, and prevents us from the growth we are meant for. But forgiveness can set us free.

Adapted from Now I Am Known by Peter Mutabazi

Peter Mutabazi is an international advocate for children and the founder of Now I Am Known, an organization that supplies resources to encourage and support vulnerable children and teens. He is a single father of one adopted son and a foster dad to many, a former street kid who grew up to work for World Vision and Compassion International. Peter’s passion for helping kids is spurred on by the life of Joseph, specifically Joseph’s words to his brothers found in Genesis 50:19-20, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” 

Now I Am Known: How a Street Kid Turned Foster Dad Found Acceptance and Truth Worth chronicles his childhood of abuse and living on the streets of Uganda. Peter’s words will inspire and empower readers to find hope in the midst of hardship and live out the call God places on all of us.

[Our humble thanks to Baker Books for their partnership in today’s devotional. ]