Ann Voskamp's Blog, page 314

A Prayer for Your Home

Bless this nest, Lord,

of fragile things,

encircling the breakable and broken

in grace,

in the ever warmth of Your wing,

in the sheltering shadow of Your face,

us the clinging ones,

You our clutch of hope,

singing to us the song

of home.

 

 

Resource: Bless Our Nest

Links for 2012-02-15 [del.icio.us]

You're Already Amazing {new book - half off today!}

@Holley Gerth ... oh yes, ma'am! Take a peek at what He means for you to really know -- right now?
Does the L-Word Belong in Business?

@ The High Calling ... "Did she really just tell that customer that she loves her?" What would happen if the L-Word came with us, wherever we are?
The Materialist Fallacy

@ NYTimes... "It's not enough just to have economic growth policies. The country also needs to rebuild orderly communities."

One Way To Help Your Marriage Be Even Better

When my Grandma told me to marry a man who wasn't much to look at  –

so I wouldn't worry of him wandering –

I had nodded 'cause I loved her.

But I confess. I didn't intend to pay her any mind.

I did ask her if she had taken her own advice.

She said yes — and my grandfather had slapped the worn knee of his jeans and roared with laughter and I saw it with my own eyes, her winking at him.

Now, it could be said that the man who married me did, in fact, follow Grandma's just-telling-you-what's-best-for-you-advice.

But I can't say for certain that she ever straight out told him to be looking for a less-than-pretty-one — so it may be that the way it worked out for him was but providential design.

I think this when we lay beside each other in the dark and I wonder why. Wonder why a man takes a woman.

Why a man keeps a woman.

Why loves comes like this gift, wild and free and unforced, and crowns the unlikely. 

I have always found this hard.

Why is it easier to earn love than simply accept it?

Sometimes when I stand skin nervous, too exposed, before the hangers and the choices, his hands find the waist and fingers around the bare that has stretched wrinkle thin six times and I cringe.

He says it then in the light, what he whispers in the complete pitch with the door latch hooked close.

I doubt that word beautiful from his lips and I shake my head and I regret hurting him, but I can't help it. To accept it would seem a lie but he says it is his God-honest truth. Why do I argue?

And why would a woman rather scrub the grime of the tile grout in the bathroom for her husband — rather than say yes to his wooing?

Is it pride or is it shame (and maybe they are the same only by different names) or is it a symptom of a deep wound bleeding unseen or just blatant apathy and why rebuff the advances of the man who gave the ring and his promise and all of his bare male heart?

Isn't it this alone, the one skin, that hallows and sets marriage apart sacred? This intimacy that alone makes this the only of its kind in all our human wanderings…

The baby body can writhe uncomfortable, the aging, sagging body can sheath herself tight.

The tugged at mommy body can lay numb from touch overdose and I have been all three, a woman of chronic illness lying still and chilled in the night faking deep sleep.

The Farmer knows seasons.

He knows you cannot change them or race them and it's best to just look to the sky and let come what comes and be the man patient, lips murmuring prayers, the thick hands working silent love. He does this. Tilling soul soils for years.

Right from the beginning, from that first morning after the vows, when I lie scared and light cracks bright between the curtained hotel windows and he whispers that this is like the beginning, us Adam and Eve and his lips touching mine, I grope to find the switch to turn off the automated no.

Find the switch that says this melding is the divine call and He blesses the flesh union and real ladies, married and vowed, freely and full embrace the yes. I am embarrassed. Control and false propriety can strangle love stiff. There has never been a more patient Farmer.

One New Year's Eve, it's the Farmer's father who hands me an envelope, tells me to buy something nice just for me, and I want change, something nice for him, and I buy a copy of Intimate Issues and The Farmer laughs, asks if we should tell his dad about my choosing. "He's the father of nine," I laugh. "He'd approve, yes?" The Farmer nods, relieved. The sky's moving. I read. I underline passages, turn page corners. I hear Him:

Drink you own well, my son— be faithful and true to you wife…. Let your manhood be a blessing; rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight. (Prov. 5:15, 18-19, TLB)

"Make my garden breathe out fragrance, let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits." (Song of Solomon 4:16)

I change.

The seasons change.

The Farmer holds me. He has waited years. There is yield. The moon reflects. I weep and he asks why. There is love that swells the heart so full it splits and leaks an aching joy.

I never want to say good bye and I can't imagine this ever ending and who am I to have lived having been known, the Adam knowing Eve? I lay by his rib, of his rib, and I rise and fall with his breathing. Familiarity breeds boredom only to the blind.

And the real see-ers know the worth of vows worn polish smooth with all the days. 

One can become true one and God knows the mystery.

I don't know what Grandma knew but I am with Solomon.

With Solomon, still lying in the dark next to the Farmer wondering of the things that amaze, the four, especially the last, that I will never understand —  the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas and the way of a man with a maiden.

He and I, we lie here in this vulnerable communion.

::

One Way to Help Your Marriage Be Even Better

Make a Love-Collecting Box

Why we have a box on our dresser collecting dollars… 

And a long-ago letter to Ann Landers that spawned the collecting-box phenomenon…

"Dear Ann Landers: Last weekend, we celebrated my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. This morning, they left on a long-awaited trip to Hawaii. They were as excited as if it were their honeymoon.

When my parents married, they had only enough money for a three-day trip 50 miles from home. They made a pact that each time they were intimate, they would put a dollar in a special metal box and save it for a honeymoon in Hawaii for their 50th anniversary.

Dad was a policeman, and Mom was a schoolteacher. They lived in a modest house and did all their own repairs. Raising five children was a challenge, and sometimes, money was short, but no matter what emergency came up, Dad would not let Mom take any money out of the "Hawaii account." As the account grew, they put it in a savings account and then bought CDs.

My parents were always very much in love. I can remember Dad coming home and telling Mom, "I have a dollar in my pocket," and she would smile at him and reply, "I know how to spend it."

When each of us children married, Mom and Dad gave us a small metal box and told us their secret, which we found enchanting. All five of us are now saving for our dream honeymoons. Mom and Dad never told us how much money they had managed to save, but it must have been considerable because when they cashed in those CDs, they had enough for airfare to Hawaii plus hotel accommodations for 10 days and plenty of spending money.

As they told us good-bye before leaving, Dad winked and said, "Tonight, we are starting an account for Cancun. That should only take 25 years."

– Loving Daughter in Abilene, Texas"

Perhaps today might just be perfect as any to slip out and find you and your Beloved your own little love-collecting box?

How to Make a Love-Collecting Box

1. Find a Love-Collecting Box… maybe like this wooden box with brass latch

2. Keep a handing collection of change

3. Wear a smile and nod yes.

It's a mighty fine way to make up a marriage even better?

"His mouth is full of sweetness. And he is wholly desirable.

This is my beloved and this is my friend." ~Song of Solomon 5:16

Related: God's Heart for You: Embracing Your True Worth as a Woman by Holley Gerth

and Intimate Issues: 21 Questions Christian Women Ask…

Edited post from the archives…

Related Marriage Posts from the Archives:

How Can I be a better Wife

5 Ways to Fight through to a Better Marriage

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Every Wednesday, we Walk with Him, posting a spiritual practice that draws us nearer to His heart.

To read the entire series of spiritual practices

For the Next 3 weeks:  The Practice of Fasting What does it mean and what does it look like and how does God use it to change us? We look forward to your thoughts, stories, ideas….

Today, if you'd like to share with community The Practice of Love … just quietly slip in the direct URL to your exact post….. If you join us, we humbly ask that you please help us find each other by sharing the community's graphic within your post.

 

Links for 2012-02-14 [del.icio.us]

Marriage Letters: On Patience

@ The RunAMuck... "Our marriage has been one little failure after another, strengthened by every single time we say, "but I'm still here." What Amber said -- that's us.

The Perfect Valentine's Day Gift for a Mother

When he asked me what I wanted for Valentine's Day?

I'd grinned and said all I wanted was a clean house.

 

I mean, National Geographics wave across the study like a sea. Boys erupt here, lego this lava everywhere.

There are dolls, two girl in this blast of boys, and their stream of scissors, and papers, and scraps.

There are days I'm the volcano on the verge.

Come Valentine's Day, I'm standing in the kitchen icing mounds of cupcakes.

Smooth out the pink icing.

Reach for another cinnamon heart.

Augustine had said that in The City of God:

All vice is but disordered love.

It's the house that's in disarray.

And there's the Valentine's flag to be hung.

And the Valentine's cards to hide — lopsided and gloriously over-glued.

And the Valentine table to be set. That is the thing: Everything in the world is love — just right-ordered or wrong-ordered. 

Turn the cupcake in hand.

Smooth out the icing. 

The work of a life is to reorder the love — to turn all things towards the True Lover. Forget how disordered the house is — how's my heart? 

If I moved a stack of books, reached over dishes and pencils and crayons, I could get to the music, turn on something lovely. Turn. Turn.

I try not to get icing on the home-made hearts on the counter.

I try to write my own Valentine's. This is what a mother can do –Remind herself how to reorder her love and I should write it on my hands in red:

Sin is what happens when our love gets disordered.  And it's never worth disordering the heart to get a right-ordered house.

How is my love ordered? Towards a Better Homes and Gardens House? Or a better, holy, godly heart? 

A right-ordered house isn't virtuous like a right-ordered heart. 

It's true: I could close my eyes to the magma of mess. But the thing is: Love isn't blind. Love is the holy sight.

Love has the long, real sight, that  sees what won't burn up. Love's priorities are things unseen. 

"They sure are sweet, aren't they?"

A boy grins over at me, his lips all cinnamon red.

I smile and wink and he whispers it all silly, "Will you be my Valentine?"

Icing cupcakes, it's my heart that melts, dropping these cinnamon hearts like molten love, love and these souls that outlast fire. ::

Nothing changes and the perfect gift is the heart ordered after His.

In a messy house, I turn, turn, and grab all that erupting boy in a long hug and the house, everything, it falls into this perfect order.

These hearts turned towards each other and close and falling into this sweet, right-ordered one beat.

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Related:

Love's Priorities are Things Unseen

Links for 2012-02-13 [del.icio.us]

What Lack Of Sleep Does To Your Spirit

@Huffington Post: "The need for sleep challenges our obsession with control. Sleep forces us to let go."
... a free Valentine's printable with Bible verse

@ contentedsparrow: if you are looking for something for tomorrow? See the lovely Megan's link to the printable at the bottom of her post?
The gospel according to motherhood

@ The Gypsy Mama... "Because it is hard work to remember to be kind and patient when you know mere minutes stand between the kid who can't find his shoes and a "tardy" note from school."
when you're looking for a miracle

@ Jeanne Damoff: ... "Sometimes we just want proof. A sign. We don't ask for much. A small miracle will do, we say, but He gives the big one anyway, and we're the ones shaken awake.... and there's Our miracle staring us right in the face. All we had to do was look in the mirror." yes. this.
Healer God

@kissesfromkate... ' "I believe it," he announced, "today I believe that Jesus is the Son of God." Simple as that.' Ah, this story. The ways of God with Kisses from Katie: "The hard does not minimize His goodness but allows us to experience His goodness in a whole new way..."

Why it's Time to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

I hear it on Sunday, thinking the preacher's looking straight at me.

Me trying to look away:

"When God moves us out of our comfort zone —- into places that are way bigger than us, places that are difficult, hard, painful —- that even hurt — this is a gift.

We are being given a gift.

These hard places give us the gift of intimately knowing God — in ways that would never be possible in our comfort zones."

Where's the back door of the chapel? I'd like out.

I look out the window to snow coming down. Shift hard in my chair.

Can't find any comfortable position.

I've been way out of my comfort zone for weeks, a month, a year now.

God taking the book, my story with my bare heart,  and me way out of my comfort zone. Sometimes you can't control whether you stay in your zone or not.  

On Saturday, all the way to my Bible Study with the Early Saturday Morning Sisters, I'd told myself I wasn't opening my mouth, not saying a word, not letting anyone into how this all felt.

And when the other Anne had looked up from Zechariah 8 and asked me how it was for me, I didn't say a thing, couldn't, for everything quavering, heart running all liquid. I had mouthed it to the ceiling, a murmur looking up, trying to keep it all from spilling.

"How did I get here?"

When God moves us out of our comfort zone…

When God…

We're in Christ's zone when we're out of our comfort zone.

And the Holy Spirit, our Comforter, comforts us when we step outside our comfort zone. It's only in the uncomfortable places that we can experience the tenderness of the Comforter.

When everything opened and fell on Saturday morning, Annette had left her chair, came and just hugged long, and Mama had reached over and I had brushed it back, smiled, believing. Knowing. Anne had prayed long and earnest and I had felt the Spirit's embrace, like the warmth of the sun laying it's arm down across my shoulder. I had felt it, how the sun had shone.

We're in step with the Holy Spirit when we step out into hard things.

Faith gets out of the boat.

And walking in the Spirit means stepping out to walk the waves and feeling the comfort of His grip.

Isn't this gift?

Sunday, the pastor preaching to take that step, I look across the sanctuary.

Can you really say that to the girl who doesn't wear her engagement ring anymore, to the beautiful mother whose husband left and the cancer has come, to the bent widow sitting next to the empty chair? Can you really say that to them, to the world?

That the greatest gift we can ever receive is the gift of losing our earthly security and comfort? So that we can unwrap the intimacy of the Savior and His Heavenly Comfort.

I swallow hard.

"When God moves us out of our comfort zone —- this is a gift."

Counting the gifts, one thousand gifts, isn't a pop culture kind of gratitude.

It isn't a new age kind of feel-good exercise. It isn't trendy. And it definitely isn't comfortable.

Counting one thousand gifts is to live the radical thanks to Christ. It's about an exercise in the age to come coming now and finding comfort in the Comforter. It's the culture of believers really believing, the culture of God and the Blood of the Lamb.

This world doesn't need trendy gratitude like it needs Jesus gratitude.

The kind that gives thanks for the bread and the nails, for the fire that refines and the blood that saves.

That gives thanks in the pitch and the thunder, the wind and Gethsemane black, that gives thanks even staring into the face of death because it sees His face in all things — because it fiercely believes in relentless Grace and the Hound of Heaven who can't stop pursuing in Love.

That doesn't gives nebulous thanks to the universe, but named thanks to the King of the Universe.  

When Jesus gave thanks, He took the bread before His crucifixion, before the Cross and the thorned Crown — and gave thanks for that.

Gave thanks for that which symbolized His own breaking.

Gave thanks for that which tasted of death, because He knew – because He trusted – that even the hardest, the incomprehensible, was for ultimate good.

Counting one thousand gifts is more than gratitude. That can be mere cultural construct.

Counting one thousand gifts is about eucharisteo. That is a Christ command. Eucharisteo, that Greek word, for "give thanks" that expresses what Christ did at the Last Supper: take the bread of pain as grace. Give thanks for that which is hard. Endure the cross, all in view of the joy set before.

Counting one thousand gifts means counting the hard things as gifts — otherwise I've miscounted.

After the service, I write a card and have a new leather Bible to gently place into the hands of a woman God's moving out of her comfort zone.

I promise her that I'll keep counting with her. Us together — believing.

And after Sunday lunch and the dishes, I sit with the kids opening up a gameboard and I open a book and read this:

"Ecstasy comes from the Greek word ekstasis.

Ek meaning out.

And stasis meaning standstill.

Ecstatic=out of static."

I close the book.

The children are laughing loud, cheering, over just the right move on the gameboard and He keeps whispering it to my trembling heart, to me who knows and then forgets:

Those who fully live, who live ecstatic lives of joy, embrace moving out of comfort zones.

Ecstatic joy is found outside of static comfort zones –Because it's moving out to where the Spirit moves.

The Spirit is never static. Never standstill. Like the wind, the Spirit always moves. Joy is found in Him.

"When God moves us out of our comfort zone —- this is a gift."

Shalom crawls up on my lap. I lay the book down but I hold onto the words.

"Mrs. Nagel told me at church that she'd seen flowers poking up before this snow came. Do you think they are still out there somewhere, underneath the snow, Mama?" She looks out the window.

The snow's still coming down, a mystery of white.

"There are signs of spring out there." I tuck a curl behind her ear and say it soft. "Outside, in the cold, still signs of spring. Gifts coming."

She smiles, rubs her hands happy.

Outside of comfort's warmth, gifts unfurling underneath. Signs of radical change emerging everywhere.

Winter being overturned, of eucharisteo in the midst of hard things  – of a revolution of thanks in all things to the God over all things.

Shalom and I fill a pitcher of water for the crocuses on the table.

She counts the blooms. "There are seven!"

I smile at her so ecstatic.

And I stand there watching —

watching the water flow out into this ponding circle, and then moving out, always farther and further out….

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edited from archives

Counting 1000 Gifts in 2012, counting more of the endless, One Thousand Gifts… Taking The JOY DARE to Fully Live — even when hard times come, this the radical revolution of eucharisteo everywhere…

#3135…how He carries the revolution on to #4 on the Times –when we're most out of our comfort zone are we most in Christ?

# 3136…  snatching a kiss on that dimple of Levi's, him scrambling eggs

#3137… the hard eucharisteo, praying with Elizabeth , mama of 5, with cancer and the most wondrous smile

#3138…  the way snowflakes fell on my coat as we walked yesterday, shimmering clear

#3139… horses standing in snow

#3140…  continuing to pray with these women for marriages and vows and love

#3141…  him bringing me a slice of pineapple with a wink

#3142…  the mess in the basement. and a bedroom. and a children's bathroom. We're all here. He's all good. We'll get it turned around…. again.

#3143… the group hugs of little nieces

#3144… kneeling at a bedside and just sobbing it all out to Him who knows. Who really knows.

#3145… this stepping out of my comfort zone — and stepping into the zone of Christ — the only real comfort there is.

Unspeakable, unending thanks be to God…

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Take The JOY DARE for February– and Count 1000 Gifts in 2012 (maybe winning the NikonD90 camera would be a gift too?)

Thank-you is a word that can change you, your world — the whole world!

Share the joy?

{Download to print here}

{P.S.: Some were wondering where/how to chronicle their #1000gifts in 2012? Any way that works best for you:

in a private journal, with the free app, on your blog and join us in linking up here on the blog every Monday, on the free Year of Graces calendar, or on facebook or twitter (#1000gifts). I'll be sharing thanks to God each day, Lord willing, on my personal facebook page and on the One Thousand Gifts facebook page — the community there is profoundly encouraging. You are more than welcome to join us! And yes, we will post a new Joy Dare Calendar here on the blog, the first of every month, Lord willing — you can use the Joy Dare Calendar for each month — or not at all.

The point is? Just count any 3 gifts a day — to count 1000 gifts in a year. That's all. Any way that works for you! Just count your blessings!

And yes — we'll be updating the blog with more information about the draw for the Nikond90 camera for those who complete the dare and count 1000 gifts in 2012! Open our eyes, Lord, Open our eyes! The Whole Earth is fully of Your Glory! }

::

Free Printables : 3 Ways to Find Joy this week

1. A Year of Graces {A Free 12 Month Gratitude Calendar} Click to print here

 

2. Count all His Gifts Wherever You Are: {One Thousand Gifts Free App}:

Click here for the free #1000gifts app : The gift of joy for a friend? Print this card about the free app for a friend

3. 1 Paper = 1 Week of Joy

Tuck 1 sheet of paper in a pocket & jot down 7 gifts for 7 days:

(perfect booklet to cultivate the habit of the joy hunt for kids)

(folding instructions for booklet here)

 

Join us? And happily change everything by keeping your own crazy list of One Thousand Gifts?

Please, jump in, make your life about giving thanks to God! — Just add the direct URL to your specific 1000 gift list post… and if you join us, we humbly ask that you please help us find each other in our refrain of thanks by sharing the community's graphic within your post.

Give thanks to the Lord! His Love Endures Forever!

 

weekends are for love {books on marriage}

M ay all your wanderings this weekend, kindest friends ….

look up and see

that banner over you is

love.

 

:All is grace

because of Christ alone,

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Beauty for the Weekend : On a Saturday morning… look at our Father's World? …

Creative Inspiration for the Weekend :  Van Gogh's Starry Night like you've never seen it before

Kitchen Love for the Weekend :  White Chocolate and Cherry Shortbread Cookies For Valentine's?

Free Printable for the Weekend :  Printable Blog Planner … and really, these: Homemade Valentine's Day Cards Ideas?

Kid Fun on the Weekend : Are your kids joining in on World Math Day or World Spelling Day? Our kids can't get enough practice — great educational fun!

Clean for the Weekend:  Speed Cleaning 101 (really!)

Love Reads for the Weekend : Some book titles on marriage? I may share more about these books later? But for some of the hurting, brave women who shared on this thread — maybe these are book titles helpful now?

{If you are reading via an email or in an reader, you may have to click here to see these marriage book recommendations?}

Amazon.com WidgetsWorship for the weekend : An old Hymn with Mr. Ortega: This is My Father's World … ah, how the devil flees at a hymn… and to give our God all the glory for here!

Joy in Him, friends! Happy Grace Days!

 

 

Links for 2012-02-10 [del.icio.us]

If you're married or are single or are praying for a marriage?

Have you read through all the comments on this post? The wisdom here in all these stories, in all these words, God working through hard places. These comments are real and raw and minister. Absolutely must read, all the truth in the comment box over at "5 Ways to Fight Through to a Loving Marriage." Best Valentine's gift you can give yourself & your marriage...
Don’t Give Up -

@ Desiring God .... "Don't give up" — a collection of biblical texts to help you persevere. It's one for the fridge.

Best Advice for Hard Times

It's what I sang over dishes.

Sang on the days when I felt too weary to take another step, clean up another mess, change another diaper.

It's what I sing when the enemy attacks with lies, when I feel alone and scared, when I fear the future and whispers in the shadows.

It's what my mother-in-law, a Dutch farmer's wife and mother of nine, godly and with these big calloused work hands, said to do.

What she told me once hunched over this row of peas we were picking out in a June twilight:

"It's what my mother said too, Ann: When it is hardest — that is when you sing the loudest. The devil flees at a hymn."

At the last, when the cancer wound tighter, folks would ask how she was — and my father-in-law would say, "Good! She's singing all the time."

And we knew how hard it was — and how good she knew He is.



She sang this and it's what we sang to her at the last, all around the bed with hymn books open, and it is what I keep singing:

{Consider pausing the blog music by clicking the black slider arrow directly under the header? If reading in a reader or via email, click here to view? }

Abandon the worries…  and Abide in the Word.

Abandon the fears…  and Abide in the Father.

Abandon the hurts… and Abide in His heart.

Abandon the cares…  because Christ will never abandon you.

It's what I self-preach again and again to the fearful sinner who is me: Abandon and Abide.

I run water for the next stack of dishes.

Take off my ring and watch, leave them there on the counter.

And immerse hands in water, the tap still running.

Everything, everywhere quietly humming….

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