S.A. Borders-Shoemaker's Blog, page 2

Easter Reflections & Book Suggestion

I am a woman of deep faith.

I do my best to express it with actions, not words, as St. Francis of Assisi once encouraged. It matters more to me that I actually practice what I believe than spout off expected words. I pray to be a channel of peace, as the song attributed to that same person also encourages.

Lent and Easter are times of deep reflection. So, I want to share some thoughts with you. Along with the poem in the cover photo.

First, I want to start with you.

I simply want to say that if the church has hurt you, you will find no excuses from me. You are in a place where that pain is acknowledged.

I, too, struggle with past abuses by the church. And by people who claim to love God. If this time of year is painful, then know I am thinking of you.

Second, I want you to know that my Christian faith calls me to radical love.

That I respect you, your beliefs, and the experiences that shaped both of those things. We all walk different paths, and I respect that your journey is yours alone.

My best faith practice is when I seek the character of Christ. I work to find compassion and forgiveness for those who would and do harm me. My heart and actions strive to support the hurting, the starving, the widows, the orphans, the refugees, the lonely, the hated, the outcasts, the suicidal, the homeless, the addicts.

I am not perfect, and I will fail in this pursuit at times.

But I want you to know me. And to be transparent about this very important part of my life.

Third, whoever you are, you are valued in this space.

And I will do my very best to honor the sanctity of your life. For I believe each one of us in made from the heart of divinity, that we art sacred art.

The best of my love is informed, shaped, and maintained by my faith.

Want something to read along with these reflections?

For this holy weekend leading to Easter, I have been contemplating Kahlil Gibran’s work, Jesus, the Son of Man. In my opinion, it is the best work of fiction on the person of Christ. (It’s available on Gutenberg Press as well!)

It is atypical and unpredictable, yet quite tangible. It is the collection of narratives from people who knew, encountered, or heard about Jesus. And it’s a shining example reverent yet honest fiction. My favorite piece is “Mary Magdalene, On meeting Jesus for the first time.” But none disappoint.

I want you to know that I hold each one of you in prayer. Each person who comes across my tiny corner of the internet.

I hope you always feel love in this space. I apologize for when you don’t. And I will work hard to maintain the gentleness of this space.

I send you all my blessings and love. May you always know love in the deepest part of your being. That you are forever a part of love.

What does real faith look like to you, friend?

#maundythursday #easter2022 #authenticchristianity

Cover image by me, from my first trip to Jerusalem in 2009.

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Book Review: The Waiting Girl

Friends, here’s a book review for you! I’ve been meaning to get better about sharing my thoughts on other authors’ works, so here’s my attempt to do so.

Just as a heads up, I’ll note that I don’t do numerical ratings, just my impression of the work. I feel that’s fairest and allows for personal preferences. And I also know that not everything is to my precise taste.

Personally, my taste in poetry is tricky and hard to define outside of my clear bias for classics. Having said that, The Waiting Girl by Erin Ganaway is a fresh dive into contemporary poetry. I met her through the fantastic Cottage Core community on Instagram, and after getting to know her, I found out we not only has a great deal in common, but that she is also a published poet too. With this information in hand, I knew I needed to read her work!

Let’s start off with this. One thing I appreciate it is how she conveys raw feeling without succumbing to the temptation to over-rely on shock. Her pieces are rich in imagery and sharp in their contrasts, yet balanced like a fine orchestra. I found myself truly taking the time to slow down and reflect on the meaning of each piece. I weighed each poem against the outline she describes in the preface to her collection, and she struck the chord each time.

She explains in her preface that the collection follows the stages of bipolarity. And what fine work she does! I could feel the transitions between each stage of the bipolar disorder, and at moments I paused and set my head straight lest I get lost in her emotions. While the whole book has a varying degree of haze, the colors of her emotions are both wild and muted, magical and palpable, harsh and soft.

For those who love to dive into sophisticated works of literature, this is the poetry collection for you!

If you’d like to see more, she also has another book, Memories of Green (on my TBR list). Or, you can follow her here on Instagram at Erin Ganaway. She is lovely!

What are some features you look for in poems? What did you think of this book review? Want to see more?

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On Friendship

What is friendship?

The philosopher Aristotle thought it was a single soul dwelling in two bodies. I say it’s two souls recognizing the unconscious pull between them. That is why I do not hesitate to say friendship is a form of love. We don’t talk about that enough.

Kahlil Gibran once said, “Your friend is your needs answered.” And I agree. We find in friendship the deeper parts of ourselves. Spaces where we can grow and be known for who we actually are, not what we imagine ourselves to be.

Real friendship is agape- love without expectation. It is the willingness to wade through circumstance despite difficulty. That we delight together and weep together. That we can celebrate what is good and forgive what we fall short on.

I say life without friendship is meaningless.

So why all of this talk about friendship? Perhaps because I try to make this small space of social media a place of communion. Where we get to know each other and discover the deeper parts of life. Where we feel warm because we are kind and can acknowledge the value in each other. I want to celebrate you, and invite you into this journey with me as I grow in my authorship. But more importantly, my growth as a person.

You’ll find pieces in Waiting for Scotland that speak specifically of friendship’s impact on my life. And when you read them, you’ll know who you are. I am the woman I am today in large part because of the friends who came alongside me throughout life. And those who I have now are truly beautiful souls.

You are welcome here, friend. You are valued in this place.

Tag a true friend. Tell them you love them and make it weird. You’re probably already weird together anyway. My friends know I am.

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Publishing & Preliminary reviews

Even in though we’re in the publishing stage, the reviews have been hot for Waiting for Scotland! And besides, I owe you all an update, right? Here’s one review that speaks for itself:

Or how about this one?

“These are POWERFUL! They read like proverbs from the bible and I LOVE THEM!”

And here’s a preview of one of the professional reviews:

“These are beautifully written, intimate poems, spoken from a heart scored with sorrow, breathed with urgency.”

Over the month, I’ve secured several endorsements for Waiting for Scotland and am continuing to look for more.

It’s the nitty-gritty part of publishing nobody wants to talk about, but is so important. If you can’t advocate for yourself, your book will suffer for it!

Waiting for Scotland is a book I can’t stop being excited about. Through the proofreading process, my anticipation keeps growing, and it’s going to be hard to have to wait for fall before it’s finally in your hands. Publishing this book is my big goal for this year!

But it’s a collection worth waiting on. It’s a work I’m truly proud of- though I had to work through a lot of inhibition to get the words out.

This is a book for the person who’s struggling. The one who feels the pain but can’t put a finger on the source. I want my words to help them get there. To help vocalize things that are so difficult to say. To give some hope.

I’ve decided to cultivate attitudes this year rather than fixate on a specific goal. Good things come with time. And I always want to be a better person. Truly, these poetry collections are my pursuit of becoming better; and leaving behind the footnotes for others to consider.

So tell me, what are you working on?

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Dive Deeper

By the end of this month, I’ll fulfill a promise I made. Last year, I told you all I’d be more authentic. And I do think I’m striving closer to that goal. So, let’s get real.

Tianna Yentzer Photography

As I write this post, I’m dancing to Craig David’s Hot Stuff (Let’s Dance). It’s an old fave. And more truth- dancing is incorporated wherever it can be in my life. What can I say? Life is difficult and I slip joy in wherever possible. Look for a song in each blog post so you can join me.

Reading over some previous posts, one thing I want to improve on is our conversation. The one between me and you. Think of the new blog as a place where we can catch up.

Here are some answers to questions you all asked while I took a break.

Are you okay? Where have you been?

Yes, I’m all right. I experienced a bout of depression at the beginning of the summer and chose to first and foremost take care of me. I made some important life changes as well to aid in this process. Now that it’s December, I am a healthier woman for taking the time to pause, and encourage others to do so when they can.

What are you working on?

Oh, wouldn’t you like to know! Let’s just say it’s something that I poured a lot of heart and soul into. I’ve been a busy gal working on all of these updates. And getting back in touch with the deepest parts of myself. Details forthcoming. BUT! As of today (Dec. 11), I’m happy to announce that one of my poems just got published in an anthology!

Um, details about this puppy?

Yes! Lillibette is our newest family member. This beautiful diva is quite the queen. She’s a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. And if someone said she was a fairy’s steed, I’d believe them. If you catch the obscure reference in her name, you get big kudos.

Let’s make this a fun blog post to jump back in. I want to dive deeper into who you are, friend. So, spill the tea. Here are some questions for you:

What music inspires you?

2. What book have you read more than once?

3. What is your life’s slogan?

Share your answers in the comments. In the meantime, let’s dance, shall we?

P.s. Have you peeped those shirts yet? Cuz you’ll want to.

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30 Quotes on Race and Justice

These 30 quotes on race and justice are invitations to think. I do not ask for anything else. Just sit, read, think, and examine your response. Ask the hard questions of yourself, do not accept easy answers. Allow yourself to be challenged.

Imani Perry

“We’re so busy saying, ‘I’m not that; I’m not that; I’m not that thing I don’t want to be’ that is becomes very hard to engage in correctives of our behavior.”

Toni Morrison

“In this country, American means white. Everybody else has to hyphenate.“

“Oppressive language does more than represent violence; it is violence; does more than represent the limits of knowledge; it limits knowledge… It is the language that drinks blood, laps vulnerabilities, tucks its fascist boots under crinolines of respectability and patriotism as it moves relentlessly toward the bottom line and the bottomed-out mind.”

“Racism will disappear when it’s … no longer profitable and no longer psychologically useful. When that happens, it’ll be gone.”

“Racism is a construct, a social construct and it has benefits. Money can be made off of it, people who don’t like themselves can feel better because of it, it can describe certain kinds of behavior that can are wrong or misleading, so it has a social function, racism.”

James Baldwin

“I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.“

“Love takes off the masks we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.“

“To accept one’s past—one’s history—is not the same thing as drowning in it; it is learning how to use it. An invented past can never be used; it cracks and crumbles under the pressures of life like clay in a season of drought.“

“Precisely at the point when you begin to develop a conscience, you must find yourself at war with your society.“

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

“Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have.”

Audre Lorde

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”

“For the master’s tools will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us to temporarily beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. Racism and homophobia are real conditions of all our lives in this place and time. I urge each one of us here to reach down into that deep place of knowledge inside herself and touch that terror and loathing of any difference that lives here. See whose face it wears. Then the personal as the political can begin to illuminate all our choices.”

“Guilt is not a response to anger; it is a response to one’s own actions or lack of action. If it leads to change then it can be useful, since it is then no longer guilt but the beginning of knowledge. Yet all too often, guilt is just another name for impotence, for defensiveness destructive of communication; it becomes a device to protect ignorance and the continuation of things the way they are, the ultimate protection for changelessness.”

“Black and Third World people are expected to educate white people as to our humanity… The oppressors maintain their position and evade their responsibility for their own actions. There is a constant drain of energy which might be better used in redefining ourselves and devising realistic scenarios for altering the present and constructing the future.”

“Sometimes we are blessed with being able to choose the time, and the arena, and the manner of our revolution, but more usually we must do battle where we are standing.”

Maya Angelou

“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.”

“Only equals can become friends.”

“You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self.”

MLK, Jr.

“This bloodlust interpretation ignores one of the most striking features of the city riots. Violent they certainly were. But the violence, to a startling degree, was focused against property rather than against people… I am aware that there are many who wince at a distinction between property and persons—who hold both sacrosanct. My views are not so rigid. Life is sacred. Property is intended to serve life, and no matter how much we surround it with rights and respect, it has no personal being. It is part of the earth man walks on; it is not man.”

“When there is massive unemployment in the black community, it’s called a social problem. But when there is massive unemployment in the white community, it’s called a depression. With the black man, it’s ‘welfare,’ with the whites it’s ‘subsidies.’ This country has socialism for the rich, rugged individualism for the poor.”

“Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence, when it helps us to see the enemy’s point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from his view we may indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition.”

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.“

“True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.”

“Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.”

“There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.”

Frantz Fanon

“O my body, make of me always a man who questions!”

“When people like me, they like me ‘in spite of my color.’ When they dislike me; they point out that it isn’t because of my color. Either way, I am locked in to the infernal circle.“

“Hate is not inborn; it has to be constantly cultivated, to be brought into being, in conflict with more or less recognized guilt complexes. Hate demands existence and he who hates has to show his hate in appropriate actions and behavior; in a sense, he has to become hate. That is why Americans have substituted discrimination for lynching. Each to his own side of the street.”

“Sometimes people hold a core belief that is very strong. When they are
presented with evidence that works against that belief, the new
evidence cannot be accepted. It would create a feeling that is
extremely uncomfortable, called cognitive dissonance. And because it
is so important to protect the core belief, they will rationalize,
ignore and even deny anything that doesn’t fit in with the core belief.”

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Writing Goals during the Pandemic

Samantha at 20

Dear Samantha at 20, I’m sitting here 10 years from now thinking of you. I know 2010 is a hard year for you, and that you feel crushed beneath so much weight. At times, you wonder if you’re a shell of a person; not enough for anyone. I want you to know that I’m holding your hand across the years. And I can tell you there’s a lot ahead that will surprise those thoughts.

Canterbury Cathedral

You feel like dreams are to be hidden, lest they get trampled by reality. I want you to know that dream of being an author, the one you think is dead in the water, is just asleep. You have a gift that can’t be taken. Those poems you write are life-giving. Don’t ignore the love of words. Trust me, you’ll need it.

You will write three books and a Ph.D. dissertation before you end the decade! More than that, you also will live in the UK like you’ve always wanted, alongside the West Bank, the UAE, and get to move to Washington, D.C. The goal of being a historian will change, but your passion for people will not. Love will find you when you least expect it; and don’t worry, you’ll be ready. That also includes that corgi you always wanted. And yes, you’ll be obsessed.

I want you to know that you really are talented and brave. The years to come over the next decade will show you the resilience of your spirit. I can’t promise the road is easy, but know I’m proud of you all the same. You’ll come out on the other side a stronger woman, knowing better just what that means.

And yeah, there’s a pandemic too in 2020, but you’ll handle that as well.

Quarantine Challenge

This is a season when despair is in easy grasp. Which is why I’m giving you a quarantine challenge this week. I promise to be brief.

Writing for me is more than fun or entertainment. It is my way of reaching across the distance to communicate in a manner that is easily understood.

While I’ve talked about this before, I feel called to say it again. I’m only getting more and more messages about how much people are struggling. And today, this moment, I’d like to encourage some light back into our lives. Even as we still face this storm.

So today, I challenge you all to do this:

In your own way, reach out to someone. Let that person know they’re not alone, even in the midst of quarantine. Maybe that’s through a text or phonecall. Even offering to walk 6ft + apart through a park. Or even send memes. I love sending memes just to brighten someone’s day. Call me a millennial, it’s fine. I’ll still do it anyway.

Don’t know what to say? It’s cool, I’ve got your back with this video. Complete with humor.

You never know whose life it might change. As I’ve stated before, I work in suicide-prevention. From experience, I can tell you that lives are changed in ways you can’t imagine just because you checked-in on someone.

Friend, if you’re in need of support, this platform, my writing, is for you. While I may write about adventure and the art of storytelling, my deeper goal is to connect with you across the distance. So that when you read my characters, poetry, blog, or podcasts, you feel less alone.

So, will you take up my quarantine challenge? Let me know how it goes in the comments below or in an email. Let’s spread some kindness and cheer this week!

In Courage & Care,

Samantha

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Sunshine and Depression

Yes, this is a blog about sunshine and depression. Because it’s Mental Health Awareness month, and I deeply care about how you are doing.

We’ve all needed some sun and warmth.

Not just from the literal weather, but in our hearts as well. To feel some relief from all this talk of sickness and mortality. This weekend, I took advantage of the warmer temps and just laid in the sun. No inhibitions or self-conscious thoughts of who might be watching. I just lay there, soaking in the warmth.

We sometimes can hold on to metaphorical winter.

It’s that chill in our souls that makes experience feel numb. It’s a defence mechanism, really. The problem is: this can also be an open door to depression. And with all that’s been going on the last few months, I want to encourage you to let summer into your soul.

As we need the seasons in weather, we also need seasons in our souls. They represent growth. Just don’t stay somewhere longer than needed. Let a little sunlight in. And embrace all that is yours, glamorous or not.

You are a marvellous creation. Never forget that.

Dealing with all of this is hard. It’s ok to admit that. And if you are struggling with depression or another mental illness, don’t beat yourself up about it. Some resources you can check out as someone with mental illness, as a person who wants to help, or even if you’re struggling with thoughts of suicide are all linked in this sentence. You’ll notice I included resources from the foundation I work with (The Lizzy Foundation). Please reach out if you have questions of any kind about what I’ve posted here.

Have you been letting the sunlight in? Or do you need to work on combatting the numbness of cold? You’re safe and valued here. Let us know how we can support you this #mentalhealthawarenessmonth!

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