Daniel Aegan's Blog, page 4

Daniel’s Journal #63 – Cult of Non-Personality

Sometimes you have to ask yourself the hard questions. Why did I leave the dog in charge? Why did I think it was a good idea to lead my ex to believe I wanted to get together? Why did I think it was funny to teach my kid all those swears?

But I think the most poignant question people aren’t asking themselves is: “Why?“

I haven’t updated this blog in a long time. Sure, I’ve gone long stretches of time without posting anything in the past, but there’s a reason for it this time. It’s not laziness. God knows I have the time. I know anything I try to say will turn into a full-on rant about the state of everything and how the tower is ready to burn and topple, leaving only fading embers and warm ashes in its wake.

See…. That’s the kind of shit I’m talking about.

We’re living through some crazy shit right now. There’s a threat to humanity, and its got America trapped in its rabid maw. There’s no escaping it. We’re trapped, slaves to its will. Unable to help ourselves or each other.

I’m speaking, of course, about stupidity.

Bear with me, if you will… I have weeks worth of anxieties and frustrations boiling inside me. Sure, Twitter’s a good outlet for some of this, but it fails to allow me to put all my bullshit into one place. Besides, I usually get the ding dongs trying to force-feed me my own point before I can finish making it.

The ignorance in our country has reached critical mass. It takes a special kind of moron to protest measures put into place. Viruses don’t have political affiliation, and anyone who believes Covid-19 is a democratic conspiracy really needs their head examined. And I’m not talking about seeing a shrink. I’m talking a full lobotomy with an option for electro-shock treatment.

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But it’s no surprise people are acting like this. As it takes a special kind of moron to protest in order to get a haircut: It takes a superior asshole to rally said morons like a cult of extraordinary walking dildos. That superior asshole is unfortunately our current President.

Yes, I’m going there. The fact of the matter is no one who needs to read this post will read it. I know how small my reach really is. This will get a handful of hits from those who likely already agree with what I’m trying to say. This isn’t an “Orange Man Bad” post, and it’s not meant to be taken that way. I’m realistic about people, and I can read them well. I know what kind of human President Donny is by watching him and seeing the stuff he dumps on twitter, and I wholeheartedly believe he barely qualifies as anything resembling a human being.

That being said, I really wished he’d hurry up and prove me wrong. I said this back in 2016 when he was elected. I couldn’t foresee a time and place where he’d be a decent leader, and all I asked is that he somehow proved me wrong.

Spoiler alert: He hasn’t.

It goes without saying that it just keeps getting worse. I can understand why people wanted him. I don’t agree with it, but I understand. At this point, though, I can’t fathom how and why they keep up with their MAGA bullshit when there more than enough evidence that he didn’t make us “great again”. No fact, the opposite has happened.

And I’m ranting, which I promised I wouldn’t do. But it’s all setup to where we are now. Our president, our commander in chief, is urging us to ignore the experts and doctors saying that we’re not out of the woods yet. He’s telling people to “liberate” themselves from the stay-at-home orders. That’s not a leader. That’s a damn sociopath.

He calls Covid-19 “the invisible enemy”. He tries like crazy to place the blame elsewhere. It’s China, it’s Obama, it’s the World Heath Organization. It’s never his fault. For someone who’s not a fascist, he sure is taking a lot from their playbook. It’s all about having someone to blame. It’s never about fixing the problem. He spent well over a month ignoring or downplaying the threat, which led to this widespread infection we’re now facing. But it wasn’t his fault. He’ll tell you himself he won’t take any responsibility.

Like a good cult (or a bad one depending on your meaning), the followers obeyed. Karen complained to the virus’s manager, and all her husbands waved flags from their pickup trucks. Some states are bending, easing the lockdown rules in light of these people who feel they’re being oppressed.

They’re saying it’s no big deal. People die all the time. Cull the weak and let the herd immunity take over. But keep in mind New York alone lost more people in a week from Covid-19 than on 9/11, and we called the latter a national tragedy. We didn’t shrug and say: “Well, everyone dies of something. Might as well be this. We don’t want to hurt the precious economy.”

And don’t you dare tell me this is all fake and the victims of Coronavirus are crisis actors. Have had enough of that bullshit following Sandy Hook to last me a lifetime, and I have no use for anyone who feels that way. I know people who have been sick, and I know those who have lost loved ones to this virus. If you’re a coronavirus denier, we don’t need to be in each others’ lives. Bye.

This whole situation sucks. I get the anger and want to lash out. I know way too many people out of work who are having trouble making ends meet. I don’t get the luxury to choose. I’m super essential. I fall somewhere between retail and healthcare career-wise. I had to go from Connecticut to Maine back to Connecticut then to New York and finally back home to Connecticut over the span of two weeks. I’m putting people at risk if I refuse to isolate now that I’m home again.

This wasn’t by choice. There were emergency situations, and I was required to work. I wouldn’t, no matter how bad my hair looked, go fight in order to make my state lift the quarantine rules. This isn’t martial law. This isn’t oppression. It’s a matter of keeping people safe.

The protestors and the Trumpist cult followers are lashing out in the worst of ways.

The rhetoric the hobgoblins on biased news networks that people are willing to die to save the economy is dangerous, and that’s no exaggeration. They’re not willing to die, but they’re willing to sacrifice you and your loved ones so they can go out to dinner again and appease the corporate overlords who control the politicians.

And I’m not even going to touch the real “fake news” and propaganda bullshit that’s spread on social media that may or may not be from Russian sources. That’s a whole other issue, and I don’t want to go off on another tangent.

Make no mistake. Trump is only a puppet of something so huge we can’t even see it.

And that’s where I’ll leave this. I’m ok the edge of moving a rant into something else entirely. Let me end this by urging everyone to stay safe and keep yourself home if at all possible. I know it’s hard to do, but we owe it to yourselves and those around us to stop the spread. Those of us with enough common sense to do it are going to have to make up for the morons helping it spread by “liberating” themselves from it.

Remember: God helps those who help themselves. That means he’ll let you die if your stupid enough to get yourself sick.

-Daniel Aegan

4/23/20

Daniel’s Journal #62 – A Causality of the Pitch Wars

Alright. I wasn’t going to do this. I really didn’t want to, either. But I was big birded big time this morning while posting a pitch during a hashtag game on Twitter. At least I thought it was a game…

Turns out it’s much more than that.

Words like “elitist” and “gatekeeper” get tossed around, and I’m going to use them here. First, though, I’d like to describe what happened.

I like these pitch events in which the writing community of Twitter takes part. I have books in various versions of drafts, and it’s fun to put together a short pitch to see how people react to them. I don’t hold out much hope that an actual agent will react, and that’s okay. I’m still too hot for traditional publishing, and those gatekeeping agents are too scared to champion something different.

But that’s another rant for another day.

Back to Pitch Madness, the aforementioned hashtag game (#PitMad). I usually post my pitches for my unpublished books. Just for fun, though I said that already. I came to find out this morning that what I thought was a simple hashtag game was a regulated event sponsored by a governing entity called “Pitch Wars”.

And this is how quickly I get burned out on this stuff. I was told I’d be disqualified for using the hashtag how I wanted to use it. Pitch Wars apparently tracked it and would knock me out of whatever this is if I post multiple books or more than three tweets. I was even linked to the rules (which I didn’t read) during this big birding moment.

I’ve known people who have taken part in Pitch Wars. A writer I’ve known for years and greatly respect had a wonderful experience through their program. It’s just not for me. Maybe I’ve gotten a little too independent with my writing, but I don’t see that as a bad thing. Still, Pitch Wars provides assistance and workshops from which budding writers have benefitted and will continue to benefit. But again: not for me.

That being said, my whole interaction with the PitMad big bird came off as elitist to me, and there are a large number of writers who post regularly on Twitter who own that elitist attitude. I never knew Pitch Wars to have this aura, but now I’m not so sure they don’t. But this is based on one interaction. Then again, maybe I don’t fit their definition on a pitching writer and should be disqualified from using their holy hashtag. Sounds elitist.

The whole thing has me miffed. I enjoy reading the pitches. Some are good, some are great, and some are… funny. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll get shit for posting this, and it won’t be the first time. You go ahead and do your own thing. I’ll do my own.

Best of luck to all of you pitching and adhering to the rules!

-Daniel Aegan

3/5/20

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Daniel’s Journal #61 – And the Medal of Freedom Goes to…

Rush Limbaugh?!

Alright. Calm down. That can’t be… What the holy hell???

This is old news by now. Last night President Disco Donny made his State of the Union address, and I missed it. I’d like to say I boycotted it, but I just didn’t watch it. I didn’t want to. Summed up: Donny is an egotistical moron with a vendetta against those who have tried and failed to make him pay for his crimes.

Oh, and the pettiness!

The next part is important depending on what side you’re on. Donny refused to shake Nancy Pelosi’s hand! Nasty Nancy ripped up Donny’s speech! My word! Such poppycock coming from our elected leaders!

We’ve passed the last stop of civility and wound up with a bunch of cranky toddlers. And I’m taking to you too, America! You know who you are. You can’t be mad at the snubbed handshake and think the speech ripping was ok. You can’t decry the speech ripping while applauding the handshake snub. You can, however, be pissed at this whole damn system and the petty bobble-heads carrying on like a bunch of shitty-diapered wussies.

And the republican senators! I mean every one of them except Mitt Romney. They allowed Donny to get away with his bullshit because they’re scared of him tweeting them rude nicknames and sending his loyal army of twitter trolls after them. Can you get any suckier than that? “I’m scared of an incel with a cartoon frog avi calling me a cuck. Better acquit!”

Cowards.

Think about what they’ve done here. Truly. You’ve just let our unbalanced, narcissistic, dictator-wannabe President know that he really is above the law. Do you think he learned anything positive from this? No fucking way. How the hell do you think he’s gonna act with this knowledge in his demented mind?

Face facts. We’ve got five more years of this. I’m not even stating that as a possibility at this point. If the Iowa Caucus debacle proves anything, it’s that the democrats can’t get their shit together. They’re poised to cock this up as bad as they cocked up in 2016. And then you have to worry about President Ivanka! How do you think this will end? To put it simply: After three full years of Donny they still aren’t ready for what he brings to the table.

Oh yeah, don’t forget that Russia and Facebook are working on his side again. Cue the misinformation campaign that helped him upset Hillary. Who do you got, Democrats?

I’m getting to Rush… Don’t worry.

This morning Donny ranted about the impeachment and failed removal attempt at both the National Prayer Breakfast (whatever the fuck that is) and at a noon speech. I missed both, but I got the gist of it. You can sum it up without watching. Everyone is against Donny. He’s a big-penised winner of impeachment trials. The streets will run red with democrat blood. The usual political rhetoric we’ve all come to hate.

Oh yeah, and Rush Limbaugh woke up this morning to jerk off in front of his mirror while wearing a fucking Medal of Freedom against his ample boobies.

Let me say something one time. I know Rush has cancer and is dying. To say I don’t care is heartless… Fuck it, though. I don’t care. We all die of something. Some of us get more time than others. It’s a sad fact of life. All we can do when the Reaper comes for us is to walk tall knowing you led a good life.

In Rush’s case, the demons will start eating his burning flesh while he’s still screaming, and he’ll know he deserves it.

I don’t wish him dead. I don’t applaud the cancer for destroying his body from the inside. I’m not Howard Stern. I don’t wish cancer on people I dislike. But demons gotta eat too…

OK… So I understand he’s sick and dying, but to stand up and think Rush fucking Limbaugh deserves the highest civilian award is just insane. But it makes sense in this demented country where we all now exist. President Donny Douchebag has always valued divisiveness. Hell, it’s why that orange ass pimple is in the White House. So why not give a Medal of Freedom to one of the pioneers of dividing people? Award the beacon of hate that allowed our country to become the cesspool of the world it’s becoming. It’s par for the Mar-a-Lago course at this point.

Why not? In Donny’s mind he’s the greatest president we’ve ever had and the best thing to happen to America. In his eyes Rush Limbaugh is an American hero. The bigoted hate monger is an American legend now. Might as well put his face on the hundred dollar bill. Fuck off, Ben Franklin. You’re no Rush Limbaugh. You wish, kite boy!

And I know when he’s dead he’ll be honored. As will Donny. As will every piece of shit who acquitted him too. That’s what makes us who we are: our short memories and ability to rewrite history and make these bloody turds sparkle like diamond-encrusted bloody turds.

I’ll leave you by saying this: If you’re not ashamed with what’s going on, then you need to be. This stopped being funny a long time ago if it ever was. The stench of this craptacular is going to take a lot of showers to remove.

God bless the motherfuck out of America.

-Daniel Aegan

2/6/20

Daniel’s Journal #60 – As I Stare Down the Double-Barreled Impeachment Trial

I don’t like to blog about political bullshit. I never really have. Every now and then, though, it builds up inside me. When that happens, I have to let out a rant or a post or something.

Read this if you want. Don’t read it if you’re just going to use it as an excuse to troll me. Opinions are like assholes, and I got both. Just saying… Don’t blame me if you don’t like what I have to say. It’s my view and I stand by it.

That’s the hard part. Are you still with me? I hope so. I’m going to go over a lot in a short format, so bear with me. I’m going to try not to reiterate the news, whether you find it real or fake.

Keep in mind that I’m on the sidelines here. I’m a swing voter. I didn’t always follow politics, and I find it hard now. I’m not a pro-Hilary guy. In fact, I don’t like her much either. I’m not a Democrat or a Republican. I’m nothing, just a human who watches and listens. I read people. I always have, and I’m damn good at it.

I’ve been following the impeachment of Donald Trump as closely as I can. It’s hard with a full time job and responsibilities at home. Most of the time I can only get snippets or clips. This is a fast paced news cycle, and there’s too much information flying all over the place.

Let’s talk about Trump; my least favorite subject. At least he’s inspired some dystopian fiction for me, even though it’s starting to make me look like a damn prophet. He’s been impeached. Everyone knows it. It was a matter of time, really. He’s been a cheat and skirted the line between that and criminal for years. Do a bit of research. It’s all out there.

I’m having trouble with this whole thing. Really. I never liked him, and I never watched his show. I don’t do reality TV at all, and I’m not a wannabe billionaire-fucker. But when he won the 2016 election I wanted him to do well. I wanted him to prove me wrong, passive-aggressive as that is. He was still our president, didn’t if I didn’t like him. If he does well, then our country does well.

But he hasn’t. Not at all. He’s shown his narcissistic colors over and over and over and over. Look at what’s going on a week into his impeachment and removal trial. He’s threatening congressmen and senators. On twitter no less! Is he insane? Are we insane for allowing this? And why is he still on Twitter?!

Some day I want Twitter to have to offer an apology for their role in all this. They’ve allowed this madman to issue threats to individuals and entire nations on their platform. And they fucking love it. Make no mistake. I’ve been suspended for making a joke about poison. He can threaten to fucking bomb countries, and they’re ok. No big deal. Just out president threatening war in a tweet. Go about your business. This is America now. Long live the Troll in Chief.

Twitter loves the publicity. They always have. That’s what this is about for them. The name of their company has been in the news constantly, and it will be as long as Disco Donny tweets from the White House toilet every morning while dropping a patriotic growler. And we know Zuckerberg is full on hard for Trump and the downfall of democracy. Social Media is going to implode come November.

Yes… I do believe Donny Dumpsterfire is going to be around to run for re-election. This impeachment trial is an unfortunate joke. He’s been impeached, and that will always be a stain on his record. I hope he hates it, too. I hope it keeps him up at night. But he owns the Senate. Or enough senators to sway the trial in his favor.

Or I should say: They own him.

I have a long-standing theory. Remember it as the Senate votes along party lines for every single issue 53-47. Congress did the same thing when the GOP were running things. They love Donny despite all hating him when he was trying to get the Republican nomination back in 2016. They. Own. His. Ass.

He’ll sign anything they want. Less environmental control for all their super industry pals? Fuck clean drinking water and breathable air! Women’s rights to decide what they can do with their bodies? Wouldn’t dream of letting them make that call! Tax breaks for all your lobbyist buddies that retroactively fucks the middle class? Sure, Paul Ryan! Enjoy your kickbacks! We’ll just blame Obama. Our base is racist enough to believe that.

Therein lies the other problem. Donny isn’t hiding his second face all that well, but his supporters still line up to take bullets for him. Why? I still don’t understand it. I’ve argued with them in real life. They’ll repeat his obvious lies like it’s the gospel, and they refuse to listen to solid reason and facts. I just don’t get it.

And these aren’t stupid people like we’ve been led to believe by the leftists on social media. They’re smart people. People I once respected even. And they carry on like everything this obvious lying narcissist says is the God’s honest truth and he’s our fucking savior. Are right-wing personalities that good at brainwashing? Because I’ve heard them, and they sound like droning assholes to me.

And I’ve lost sight of my original point and sound like a crazy person now. Maybe I am. Maybe watching this wannabe Bastard King flush America down his gold toilet has gotten me a little nutty. I can’t stand watching these people tasked with upholding our lives and government fall in line and go out of their way to perpetuate and excuse his evil.

And that’s what he is: Evil. True evil, too. Not that bullshit storybook evil. He doesn’t even know it, and that’s what makes him dangerous. He truly believes what he says about himself. He knows what he did, and he thinks he’s in the right for it. He really believes wholeheartedly that he’s our messiah and that everyone who speaks ill of him is a true enemy. He’s going to make America great again, and he really thinks he can do it while making his family of plastic-coated miscreants into a new wave of American royalty. In his head, he’s our God.

And that’s should fucking scare more people.

But we’re more than three years into this farce of a presidency already. Every time I think he’s evened out and can’t get worse he finds a way. Look… He actually did prove me wrong in an act of fucked-up irony. I don’t know what’s next, but it won’t be good. The closer to November we get, the worse he’ll be. It’s going to be a bloodbath, and not in a fun sarcastic way. I mean that in a literal sense.

He’s divided us. We can’t go against him when we’re killing one another in the streets instead. This isn’t going to get easier, and I fear we’ve still just begun the descent.

Godspeed.

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Daniel Aegan

1/27/20

Daniel’s Journal #59 – Moving On…

It’s okay to walk away and move on. We all make mistakes, and sometimes you need to put them all behind you.

I know what you’re thinking: “Great! Sage-like wisdom from this asshole with a blog!”

Maybe you need to hear it. Hell, maybe I just need to say it. Either way, you’re reading this and getting a dose of Monday morning motivation or whatever.

The easiest person to disappoint is yourself. I know this well. I had a goal recently. I wanted to finish writing my latest book by the end of 2019. Well… I missed the mark, and I’m still working on concluding that 100k word monster.

But why beat myself up? The end of the year was busy, and then I was waylaid by the damn flu. It set me back a handful of weeks. Doesn’t mean I’m a shitty writer. Just means I’m a human and subject to hot messes from time to time.

Last year can be summed up with a pile of steaming disasters, one after another. I’ve dwelled on that heap, along with my failure to finish my book. I’m leaving it there, in the past. That’s where it belongs. I’m looking forward, finishing what I need to finish, building new structures, and moving on with my life. I’m not even taking baby steps. Fuck that noise.

So I’ll see you all in the funny pages. Stick with me, and we’ll make 2020 our year. I know these damn blogs don’t get around like they used to, but I thank you all for taking the time to waste with me. Get something done today and pay it forward. Get something more done tomorrow. By the end of the week have more shit done. Measure success in attempts, not completions.

So that’s enough of my nonsensical motivational rant piece. Did you get something out of it? I hope so. Maybe I’ll be back to being a downer soon enough. I know everyone loves that!

Daniel’s Journal #59 – Moving On…

It’s okay to walk away and move on. We all make mistakes, and sometimes you need to put them all behind you.

I know what you’re thinking: “Great! Sage-like wisdom from this asshole with a blog!”

Maybe you need to hear it. Hell, maybe I just need to say it. Either way, you’re reading this and getting a dose of Monday morning motivation or whatever.

The easiest person to disappoint is yourself. I know this well. I had a goal recently. I wanted to finish writing my latest book by the end of 2019. Well… I missed the mark, and I’m still working on concluding that 100k word monster.

But why beat myself up? The end of the year was busy, and then I was waylaid by the damn flu. It set me back a handful of weeks. Doesn’t mean I’m a shitty writer. Just means I’m a human and subject to hot messes from time to time.

Last year can be summed up with a pile of steaming disasters, one after another. I’ve dwelled on that heap, along with my failure to finish my book. I’m leaving it there, in the past. That’s where it belongs. I’m looking forward, finishing what I need to finish, building new structures, and moving on with my life. I’m not even taking baby steps. Fuck that noise.

So I’ll see you all in the funny pages. Stick with me, and we’ll make 2020 our year. I know these damn blogs don’t get around like they used to, but I thank you all for taking the time to waste with me. Get something done today and pay it forward. Get something more done tomorrow. By the end of the week have more shit done. Measure success in attempts, not completions.

So that’s enough of my nonsensical motivational rant piece. Did you get something out of it? I hope so. Maybe I’ll be back to being a downer soon enough. I know everyone loves that!

Daniel’s Journal #58 – Just Getting Started

We’re ten days into the new year, and I feel like I’m just starting. I started it with the flu, which I’m just getting over now. It’s such bullshit, the flu. I had my flu shot back in October, but this one still knocked me on my ass.

So I’m just getting going. I have my latest WIP near the end at just under 100k words (I’ll cross that threshold latter). I have the final chapter and the epilogue to write. This sounds like bragging, but trust me it’s not. I wanted to have this done by the end of last year, but it didn’t happen. I was too bogged down with other errands during my holiday break, and I couldn’t get it finished.

I’m working on it though. Soon. I promise.

And I haven’t blogged much about it. I had that block at the end of last year that prevented me from really talking about Reign of the Unfortunate much. It’s a passion project of mine. Something I’ve wanted to write for a long time. I have a special bond with supervillains, and I wanted this book to do them justice (pun not intended).

But I’m getting off track, and that’s OK. I haven’t written much in weeks, and it feels good to be doing it again, even if it’s just a blog that doesn’t really have a message.

I’m looking forward to this year and all it has to offer. My tarot has been on point, and it’s told me I need structure of many sorts in 2020. I know what I must do. Once this book is done, I’ll be focusing on other drafts this year and getting dates on my next two or three releases. Stay tuned!

I guess that’s it for now. I haven’t much to say unless you want a long a drawn out piece about my opinion on Trump and the direction of our spiral. Spoiler alert: It’s downward.

-Daniel Aegan

1/10/20

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Daniel’s Journal #57 – 2019 till 2020

Another year is under our belts. Another trip around the sun is complete. We should have had many accomplishments in 2019. We should be making goals for 2020. That’s what everyone says anyway

I’ve had a case of blogger’s block. I was hung up on issues from this last year that have been holding be back. But I need to power through and put it behind me. I have been.

So let’s take a look back, since humans can’t seem to take a single step forward without looking behind them to see if they shat on the ground. If they did shit, they’d stop even longer to examine it for shoeprints.

I left a lot of shoeprints in a lot of turds during the last year. I didn’t make all the brown piles of nastiness, though. Full credit had been given to me from the minds of crazy people with a chip on their shoulder, but I’m much too modest to take it. Alright, I’m mincing turds here. Let’s move on…

And therein lies the issue: Conflict avoidance. It’s easier to ignore your problems than it is to face them. I’ve lost friends during the course of 2019. I’ve lost a few. Each one left its scar, but I’ve dealt with them better than the ones who’d inflicted them.

I’ve been told that I’ve changed, and that’s probably not far from the truth. They meant it as an insult, subtly masking their disdain for what I’ve become. There was a time (maybe even before 2019) where I was a completely different person. Someone muttered recently that we’re completely different people every seven years. I don’t believe I’ve changed… Definitely not in the cringe-filled and venom-oozing way I’ve been told I have. I’d like to think of it more as evolving, but I’m better with words than most. I also have the distinct point of view of my own life. Funny as it sounds, I can judge myself as well, and I’m often a cynic when it comes to me.

I believe in energy. Sure, I work with electricity in my professional life, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Well, maybe it helps my understanding a little bit. I do believe that people create or repurpose their own energy. What you put out into the universe always comes back to you. You can spend your years producing negative energy, and that will reflect on your in some way, shape, or form. Or, and I can’t stress this enough, you can do more than something good and see what comes your way. Nice guys only finish last because their motives are fucked.

I talked about the people who have left me during the past year. To make matters a little more complicated: I left them as well. Not in all cases, but in some. There comes a time when enough needs to be enough. I endure a lot of negative energy from people who work well with it, but it always ends up warping me before I’m through. I’ve been gaslit, abused verbally, and accused of despicable acts and insulted to boot. The problem with taking negative energy from people is that they’re always willing to dish out more. When you finally decide it’s enough, they’ll do whatever they can to get you back. Otherwise they have to deal with it themselves, and no one wants to wallow in the shit storm of their own creation.

Future avoidance of those storms is where my personal focus will be in 2020 and beyond. Yes, there are still people in my life who irk me and spread hate at their default setting. We’re living in a time where this trait is respected and revered for some reason. Hell, Nazis are back and there are people who haven’t even flinched about it. The only positive about this is that they’ve identified themselves in public, making them easier to avoid. I’ve been more boisterous about my views as well, making myself easy to avoid from their point of view. Win-win.

Did you know Ted Danson was close friends with Bill Clinton? Weird, right? But it’s not at all unbelievable. What is unbelievable is how I just learned this at the end of 2019.

I’m veering way off topic here. Hopefully a little self-realization is what helps kick my ass into updating this blog more often. This public journal of mine isn’t helping me gain any points in my want to be a recluse, but it’s definitely an exercise in honest and harsh writing. Sometimes I just need to kick my own ass.

Or brag… I accomplished a lot in 2019. I self-published two of my books: Blood Drive and Lost Women of the Admiral Inn. I also wrote a pile more along with a whole slew of shorts. I even had two of them printed in Prismatica Magazine. It was a year of getting words on the page, and I got tens of thousands of them. Most of those words will see the light of day at some point aside form a novel that turned too YA for my liking and spiraled toward doom after the first part.

It’s funny how a year’s worth of writing accomplishments can fit into one long paragraph but dealing with personal issues can take up several. It’s not that I didn’t accomplish a lot writing wise. It’s that there’s as lot I’m keeping under my hat. I did write that full novel that turned out to be a plop. I also wrote a few more that were worth finishing. I even wrote a ninety-thousand-word novel in forty-five days during the summer. All in all, it was a productive year.

The novel I have on my plate now, Reign of the Unfortunate, is in its finishing stages. I’m just about at the climax. I planned to be done with it by tomorrow night, but fate wasn’t having it. I’ll probably have the first draft of my first villainpunk piece a week into 2020. This one is a milestone of mine. I’ve wanted to write this story forever. This is an homage to the Sinister Six from the Spider-Man comics, and I’ve always wanted to get this on paper. I had some help from a friend named Mikey Blackheart to iron out the details, and it pops thanks to his advice.

So now I’ve dipped a toe into 2020. Might as well look forward to the steps that have no bits of shit on them yet. They’re nice, new, and ready for the plop of a lifetime. I’m going to skip the “new year new me” bullshit. I was never much for that. I’m usually not one for resolutions either. I can spout nonsense about wanting to lose weight or be a better person or do something amazing I’ve never done before. But I won’t. Well… Maybe I’ll dabble.

In the closing days of 2019, I fixed up my personal space. My home office was reorganized, and it looks fantastic. My daughter took a corner for her art stuff, but I can share. There’s room enough for my big-ass desk, all my books, my board games, and even a space set a side for my tarot stuff. It’s my own little slice of fuck-off. So I have that ready for me for the start of the next decade.

What’s in store in 2020? I plan on reading the final version of my book Kai the Swordsman and making the necessary changes to publish it early in the year. I’ll be doing the same with I’m in Sci-Fi Hell a little later. Maybe I’ll have it out in time for a summer blockbuster. I want to round off the year with my fantasy comedy Excalibur Nights, which is in the editing stage now. I have a surprise I may or may not drop sometime during the year if I can get it together and can be satisfied with it.

I’ll also be getting second drafts done of the books I worked on this year. Two at least, maybe three. I’ll need to get them ready for 2021 after all. I’m not sure if I’ll start another novel or not this year, but only time will tell. The Muse tends to strike me on Her schedule, not mine. I have other book ideas, but I haven’t realized them as full stories yet. There is one with a tentative title Trash Rat that’s called to me, and that’ll be my next likely project.

On a personal level, I plan on doing all those cliché things everyone says they’ll do in January. Weight loss? Hell yeah, chumps! New diet? Just try to stop me, assholes! Be a better person and role model? You better fucking believe it, motherfuckers!

I’m going to be focusing on positive energies, more or less. I’m going to continue cutting people out who bring hate and negativity to the table. At this point I don’t care who the are or how long we’ve been “cool” with one another. I’m through living life in the cesspool created by the people with whom I had chosen to surround myself. I had done it for years, and it did me no good. A new decade seems to be a good jumping off point for this.

And I’m looking at those who questioned my decisions and labels. I don’t personally like wearing a label for I am or how I choose to live my life. I’m a guy who came out, went back in, redefined who and what I was, and became cautious about with whom I was open. I plan to be open more with friends and family about this in the coming year and beyond. There are those I trust and those I don’t. But that’s just the nature of things. Only time will tell if I’m doing the right thing for myself.  I have the support of those who matter to me, and that’s what’s important.

There’s not much else to say. 2020 is coming whether we like it or not along with all the challenges and obstacles that it can throw at us. You can dodge all day, or you can power through it. It’s not going to let up, so neither should any of us.

That’s about all the inspiration I can muster. I’ll be fired out of a canon next year. Hopefully I don’t get scorched to bad.

See you in 2020, people!

-Daniel Aegan

12/30/19

Daniel’s Journal #56 – Shouting for Jessica

“JESSICA!” I shouted, standing in my backyard.

I waited for a response, but none came. Sound travels fast, or so I’ve heard. I’ve never personally timed it myself. I could drive to her in a day and a half or so, but how long till she hears her name?

“JESSICA!”

She’d hear me. My throat was going to end up sore and I’d cough myself to sleep, but I was determined to get her attention.

Peaceful isn’t quiet. She told me that. “You can’t have peace without a huge slice of chaos,” I had replied.

She told me to shout at her later, so there I was.

“JESSICA!”

I wasn’t sure how many states or timezones were between us, but that didn’t matter. I had my tarot cards on the grass by my feet, my reference book beside them, and my empathic senses turned to eleven.

Come Jessica or the apocalypse, I was going to get a response.

“JESSICA!”

I’ve recognized that I’ve done some narcissistic shit over the years. I recognize I still do from time to time.

As an empath, narcissists seek me out.

As an empath, the narcissist within my body tries to break free.

As a screamer, I scream for Jessica.

“JESSICA!”

…

Jessica?

***

-Daniel Aegan

11/15/19

Daniel’s Journal #55 – You’re Not Allowed to Joke Anymore

“You can’t even make a joke anymore.”

“Everyone is too up their own asses with this PC bullshit.”

“George Carlin would have something to say about this!”

This is all I’ve been hearing lately. Everyone seems to be up in arms about not being able to tell a joke without suffering the most heinous of fallout. They’re so convinced everyone is out to get them for uttering something funny they’ve completely shut down.

Okay… So they haven’t. They just got a new soapbox upon which to whine.

This is a crutch, and it’s not a new one either. Someone is offended by something you say, so you go crying to your friends how unfair it is that you can’t say what you used to because of this new wave of PC culture or whatever these snowflakes are touting.

Blah blah blah… I’ve been hearing this on and off since the nineties. I do believe you sound like a discount Al Bundy.

He’s my point (I’ll get to it quicker than usual this time): Yes, you can joke. You can joke about anything you want. That’s your right as an American with freedom of whatever the fuck you want.

But…

Your job has the right to fire you for calling a homosexual employee a fairy. Your in-laws have the right not to invite you over after dropping an n-bomb during the Giants game. Your friends have the right to block your number after sending them all that trans porn you found so hilarious.

It’s not that you don’t have the right to do all that. It’s that you’re getting called out for being an asshole, and you don’t like it.

And just to be clear: All those examples I used were real situations and consequences. I wasn’t trying to be cute. All that really happened to dickheads I know who like to bitch about how they can’t say anything anymore.

Let’s take me for example since I’m calling people out left and right. Do I make offensive jokes and write non-PC stuff? Hell yeah. All the time. Do I expect to get called out on some of it? Also yes. Do go crying about how I’m “not allowed” to do it? Fuck no. I take my lumps, dust myself off, and move on with my life.

Here’s another tidbit about me: I’m not easily offended, but I can be. I am on a constant basis by these scumbags at work with their constant gay jokes at one another’s expense. Do they have the rights to say that? Yes, they do, but it’s my right to call them a bunch of dildos for doing it. And that, my friends, is a right I exercise often.

Let me make one last point that I’m not talking about celebrities or social media “personalities”. They’re the worst with this. Comedians like their jokes, and pushing the envelope with what you can and supposedly can’t say has been a mainstay for as long as this gen-xer can remember. The problem now is people having outlets, ie: Twitter, to voice their disgust and call these comedians out. And these funny guys can’t handle it.

After all, they’re just trying to be funny… Right?

Keep in mind, too, that this is a hot-button trend for these dinosaur-brained bigots to stay relevant in today’s social climate. “They don’t want me to day this” or “I’m not allowed to talk about that” are just ways to keep you watching, thinking: “The libs aren’t gonna like hearing this guy!” The main problem is that it’s working.

Let me touch on George Carlin before I close this since I mentioned him at the top. I’ve seen so many people claiming to know what his opinion on our current society and political climate would be. Hell, I even see outdated standup clips of him doing bits that can make him sound like he susports whatever side based on the context of how it’s set up.

The fact is that no one knows what George Carlin would say or where he’d side rigt now. He was a master of calling out bullshit, and bullshit is everywhere now. There’s no doubt he’d have a profound and entertaining opinion on everything we’ve been through in the last few years, but I can’t even guess what that would be. And neither do you. Nor do these idiots posting his clips all over Twitter and Facebook to declare he would have owned the libs or ruined the alt right.

We just don’t know, so stop fucking assuming and pissing all over his legacy.

I’ll end this coming back to the coworker who keeps claiming he’s not allowed to joke anymore. Earlier this year, we were joking around about politics. He’s a MAGA maniac, and I’m of a sound mind and body. I made the joke that his mother performed oral sex on Joseph Stalin. He was so mad he didn’t talk to me for a solid month.

And what a great month that was.

Keep joking and keep offending. Keep calling out assholes and dodging the jabs of those you offend.

-Daniel Aegan

10/7/19

****

Not offended by this post? Then let me try with my next book: Lost Women of the Admiral Inn

Available 10/17[image error]