J.B. Norman's Blog, page 368

A Different Sort of a Blog

So, I mentioned I’m back in school, yeah? Well, one of my classes is Blogging Class, so here’s the blog I wrote for it:

http://www.spineonline.ca/a-matter-of-time/2019/9/23/dates-you-should-nintendo-130

My Stuff

Here’s a link to the Amazon listings to all of the Realmgard books in one place.

https://www.amazon.ca/s?k=realmgard

As a side note, Fryte’s Gold e-books are free until tomorrow.

The Plan Going Forward

Thanks to publishing The Bandits of Goldharbour, three Realmgard stories are now available. That’s good.

In terms of real life, I’ve started back at school this fall, which means I’m going to have a lot less free time to devote to putting out more Realmgard stories. That’s bad.

Now, that good news is that I still have one more story that’s ready to be finalised for publication. That’s good.

In terms of my immediate plans for Realmgard, it has been my intention for a while now to compile the first three Realmgard stories into a single volume and then get that out for publication. That’s good.

That means that most of the energy I’ll be devoting to Realmgard will be focused on putting together that three-in-one volume. It’s a little more complicated than just putting them into one file and pressing “publish”, but, overall, there isn’t that much new work I’ll need to do. That’s good.

So, expect the as-yet-untitled compilation of the first three Realmgard stories in time for Christmas.

Available Now: The Bandits of Goldharbour

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The latest Realmgard story, The Bandits of Goldharbour has now gone live on the Amazon Kindle Store and is also available as a paperback on all Amazon marketplaces.

To celebrate, the ebook version will be free from today to September 10, 2019.

Not-Not a Recommendation: One Piece

Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Piece

Anime News Network: https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/encyclopedia/anime.php?id=836

So, being as that I write about pirates, I would be remiss not to mention probably the most popular piece of media in recent memory related to pirates (and, incidentally, the most popular manga series of all time). That piece of media being One Piece.

That being said, I cannot in good conscience recommend One Piece, as I have a fairly low opinion of it. I hate the art style. I hate that it’s been meandering its way through its storyline since 1997 and not apparently resolving anything (though, I can’t blame the writer for that; if I was writing the most popular manga of all time, I’d do everything I could to keep it going for as long as possible).

That being said, I also can’t in good conscience entirely dismiss it out of hand. I haven’t bothered to get into it, beyond a very superficial viewing of the first few episodes of the anime. But it’s been running since 1997, has something like 900 anime episodes and 93 manga volumes (which translates to something like nearly 1000 individual chapters). I don’t have enough familiarity with the whole thing to know if it improves at any point. Maybe it does.

Clearly, it’s doing something right, if it’s made $21 billion (with a b).

Long story short, look into it for yourself and make up your own mind. I’m not going to fault you for enjoying it, I just have too many reservations to do so myself.

Variations on a Theme: Flag of Goldharbour

In anticipation of the imminent release of The Bandits of Goldharbour, I’ve been doing some work on designs for the Goldharbour flag, which I’m planning to use as the cover art for the story. I decided on several basic elements that all of the versions would share and started playing around with them: the field of the flag is yellow, or, technically, gold (duh), and the images on the flag are white, the main element on the flag is the letter G (also duh), surrounded by a laurel wreath, with a Latin (technically Elvish) monogram standing for “Free Mercantile City”.

Technically, it probably shouldn’t be a G, if the rest of the words are in Latin (technically Elvish), in which case “Goldharbour” should be rendered as something like “Portus Aureus”. However, I have decided that places with names in English (technically Gardian) are Latinised (technically Elvenised(?)) with the original Gardian stem, rather translated, which is how this sort of thing works in real-life Latin (Japan is Iaponia and not “Pricipium Solis”).

Incidentally, all of the versions of the Goldharbour flag have a 2:3 height:width ration.

[image error]First attempt at a Goldharbour flag.

This was the result of my first attempt. Overall, it’s perfectly cromulent, but I wasn’t satisfied with how the laurels turned out, and I couldn’t fit an element I really wanted to add (and did, in the later versions) on this design. In this case, the monogram stands for “civitas libera mercans”. In Latin (technically Elvish), there about a hundred ways to say “free” “mercantile” and “city”, plus about another hundred possible combinations of arranging them, so I had a lot of freedom to play around with that.

[image error]Second attempt, featuring gryphons.

This is the second attempt, and the first where I managed to fit the gryphons I wanted from the beginning. In Classical mythology, gryphons are associated with gold and treasure, so it made sense to use them as the symbol for a stupendously-rich trading city. In this version of the flag, the G for Goldharbour has a H (for, uh, Goldharbour) and the monogram replaces the C for civitas with a U (rendered as a V, as is the case in Latin (technically Elvish)) for urbs.

[image error]Third attempt at the flag.

The third version, in exchanged for embiggening the GH and monogram, did away with the laurel wreath and made the monogram, once again using a U for urbs, more noticeable. This one isn’t necessarily my favourite, but I do prefer the positioning of the gryphons closer to the edges of the flag.

[image error]Fourth and final flag.

This flag includes my attempts at making the laurel wreath actually perfectly symmetrical, but I can’t tell if it worked (I think it did?). This one has, I think, the smallest lettering, and the biggest gryphons. Which is probably a good thing, mythological beasts are probably more impressive than letters. Speaking of the letters, I changed the ordering of the monogram, because I started feeling like “VLM” looked to much like a word in itself, rather than an abbreviation. I also went back to having the G be by itself, rather than having the H with it.

Preview Chapter: The Bandits of Goldharbour

In anticipation of the release of the next Realmgard story, The Bandits of Goldharbour (ETA towards the end of August), here is a preview chapter, allowing you to get to know the pair of scoundrels known as the Bandits of Goldharbour.

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   As the citizens of and visitors to Goldharbour go about their lives of luxuriant excess, the Bandits of Goldharbour are planning what they hope will be a very good day for them. When you’re a bandit, a “very good day” means “stole lots of loot.”

Unfortunately, those good days are becoming increasingly uncommon. The upside to that sad fact is that it’s because they’ve had so many good days already. There’s no loot left to steal because they’ve already stolen it.

   Despite being the most-wanted criminals in all Goldharbour, and probably even all Realmgard, none of the many passers-by seem to notice their presence as they stand scheming on the street corner. Of course, they are the most-wanted criminals in Goldharbour, so they have to try to be inconspicuous until they’re ready to make their move. It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a fake moustache and pair of glasses. Even though their faces are plastered all over the city, no one has recognised them underneath their ingenious disguises.

   “Honey-bear, I’m bored!” Alison Steel declares to her beloved Dirk Broadsword. “I wanna rough somebody up! I wanna grab some loot!”

   “I know, sugar-blossom,” Dirk assures his best girl. “But we didn’t become the world’s greatest bandits by being stupid about this. We need a plan for our next heist. We can’t just go around kicking down doors and knocking people over.”

   “Well, we could,” Alison notes. “Actually, that sounds pretty fun. Let’s do that!” She grabs Dirk’s hand. “Come on, honey-bear! Let’s go! I’ll even let you pick which door we kick down!”

   “What about here, sugar-blossom?” he asks his partner.

     “It’s a café, honey-bear,” she notes sceptically, following his gaze.

     “Yeah. A café filled with super-rich people,” he counters.

     “Who robs a café?” she wonders.

     “I don’t know,” he admits with a shrug. “But when you think about it, why wouldn’t you?”

   “Because it’s a café, maybe?” she offers. “We’re not going to get rich stealing coffee.”

   “Just hear me out, sugar-blossom,” he urges. “It’s like you said, no one robs cafés. That means they won’t be expecting it. It’s not like they’re going to have guards hanging around.”

   “I guess,” she concedes.

   He points across the street. “I mean, just look at this place, sugar-blossom. This is where all the big-wigs come for their coffee. That means the café is going to do all it can to impress all those big-wigs and their big, fat big-wig wallets. They’re probably eating solid gold breakfast off plates covered in jewels.”

   “Yeah,” Alison says, grinning like a cat in a canary factory. She turns to Dirk. “So, do you want to kick down the door? Or shall I?”

   “It’s all you, sugar-blossom,” Dirk answers.

   “Oh, honey-bear, you know just what a girl likes to hear.”

 

Encyclopedia Realmgardica: Dwarves

“Strictly speaking, he’s half the blacksmith I’ll ever be. On the other hand, he’s probably twice the blacksmith I’ll ever be.”

Often regarded as mirthless and fond of industry, Realmgard’s Dwarves primarily inhabit the northern and central regions of the continent. Historically, the Dwarves have undergone long periods of conflict with Goblins and tall shelves.

Dwarven craftsmanship is widely admired and sought after by the other peoples of Realmgard, generally held as an automatic assurance of quality. Dwarves are also regarded as among the most prolific miners on the continent, leading to the wide-spread misconception that Dwarves live underground. While it is true that there are several Dwarven settlements built into mountains and hillsides, for the most part, Dwarven cities are not particularly different from the cities of any other of Realmgard’s peoples. Notably, several of the most successful Dwarven settlements are based around forestry and woodworking, rather than mining and metalworking.

The other longstanding, and equally incorrect, misconception about Dwarves is that either there are no Dwarf women, or that Dwarf women have the same long, flowing beards as the men. This arises from a misunderstanding of the traditional scarves worn by Dwarves to keep their faces warm against the cold winters of their traditional homelands, which are often thick enough to resemble beards.

Though Dwarves are not usually known as sailors, the pirate Greybeard is notable as not only of the few major Dwarven pirates, but also as one of the most significant figures in the history of piracy in Realmgard, playing a major role in both the codification of the Lex Antiqua Piratica and the formation of the Brotherhood of the Coasts.

Encyclopedia Realmgardica: Halflings

“Well, you know how it is. Dad’s a Dwarf, Mom’s a Goblin, and there was that whole thing with the Ten Thousand Year War, so holiday suppers are always a little awkward.”

Rather than referring to a specific people of Realmgard, “Halfling” is the general term used to refer to any child born to parents from two different peoples, or even more general, an inhabitant of Realmgard and an inhabitant of one of Terrace’s other continents.

“Halfling” is not generally considered a negative term, but is noted to be a fairly unhelpful one as it represents a very broad, non-specific segment of the population. The child of an Elf and Gardian, a Troll and a Wildering, or a Dwarf and Goblin are all considered “Halflings”, despite very little else in common.

Since all of the sentient peoples of Realmgard are physiologically similar enough to have children with each other, Halflings are not exactly uncommon throughout Realmgard. As certain peoples of Realmgard hold intermarriage in low regard, life as a Halfling can be difficult in certain places, but given how inherently diverse the Halfling population is, finding one life experience representative of all Halflings is not possible.

Encyclopedia Realmgardica: Higher Learning in Realmgard

Realmgard is home to several prestigious institutions of higher learning, where the brightest minds of the continent gather to discuss great matter and unravel the mysteries of the world.

Despite its fairly remote location in the north of Realmgard, the University of Oxfjord has long been regarded as one of the foremost places of learning on the continent. According to legend, the university was originally founded at the site where a local bull once wandered out of its paddock and took a tumble off a nearby cliff in the inlet below. The bull is noted to have survived the incident.

Also noted among the finer institutions in Realmgard is the University of Porthaven, due in large part to counting the famously brilliant Sir Francis Crossword among its faculty and being the location of several of his most impressive discoveries and inventions.

Famous for quite another kind of learning is Realmgard’s Magological Academy, devoted to teaching the theory and, most importantly, the safe practice of the magical arts. The Academy is also known for its consistently excellent track and field team.