Maren Cooper's Blog, page 2

On the Edge

I was pretty far into writing Behind the Lies when I realized it would be a thriller. As a character driven writer, I always start with a personality and play out the quicks and revelations as I develop the character, throwing grenades regularly to test the response. By the time I did realize I had a full-on suspense novel on my hands, I was also alerted to the up-coming Bouchercon conference that was taking place in Minneapolis that Fall of 2022.

The Twin Cities is known for its rich literary offerings and boasts several indie publishers as well as the Loft Literary Center where I was lucky enough to take classes when I had time to explore the artistic world I had long admired. But, I wasn’t aware of this conference until I read about it in Mary Ann Grossmann’s column in the St. Paul Pioneer Press and then a post from William Kent Krueger, a much beloved Minnesota author who had generously blurbed my second novel Finding Grace.

Bouchercon® is the annual world mystery convention where every year readers, writers, publishers, editors, agents, booksellers and other lovers of crime fiction gather for a 4-day weekend of community to learn about books from authors who love to write them.

I quickly registered and attended as many sessions as I could. As a life-long aficionado of mysteries, I reveled in the spirit of the event and the surprising opportunity to hear from and meet so many authors. Dennis Lehane, S.A. Cosby, Jess Lourey, William Kent Krueger, Jo Nesbo, Allen Eskins all featured in some way. And, there were readers from all areas of the country who routinely flock to this annual convention held every fall in host cities all over the country.

I loved it. And as luck would have it—Allen Eskins, a wonderful Minnesota writer who also blurbed Finding Grace for me introduced me to Mindy Mejia another Minnesota mystery writer. After offering to read my book, Mindy later agreed to give it a positive blurb, for which I am forever indebted to her. Of course, I have read her most recent books and highly recommend both—Strike me Down and the recently released To Catch a Storm.

I have met other mystery writers through my publisher, She Writes Press—Laurie Buchanan, Shelley Blanton-Stroud, Anastasia Zadeik, Jody Hadlock, Michelle Cox and other local networks such as the Rain Taxi Book Festival, and Minnesota Mystery Writers Night Out. As a genre I have admired, I feel right at home now. People ask me if I will continue to write in this genre. I’m not sure—my novels are all different, but I always start with a theme—something that troubles me or that I want to explore in fiction.

My first book, A Better Next, is about health care mergers and the effect of these macro changes on the lives of those who are involved—I chose characters who were on opposite sides of the business amid a domestic crisis to display the effect. My second book, Finding Grace, is based on motherhood choices and who should make them. The theme became more relevant with the controversy over reproductive rights, still raging.

Behind the Lies is my attempt to shine a light on the damage caused by the “fake it till you make it” culture too often found in the business world, with the focus of the action in the complicated biotech industry.

I hope you appreciate the photo I chose for this month’s post. It is my own photo of a performance artist taken at the Louisiana Museum of Modern Art in Copenhagen when I traveled there this past summer. For me, It epitomizes that “on the edge” feeling that readers should get when enjoying a good thriller.

Maren

Introduction: Behind the Lies

My new novel and first mystery hits the street November 14, 2023 and is available for pre-order now. Here is a bit about the book, BEHIND THE LIES.

Will Franklin—former academic geek, now recognized as a rare talent in the “fake it ’til you make it” biotech industry—is in the wings for his dream job as next CEO of a global powerhouse. Or so he thinks, until his boss, Chet, calls him into his office and angrily tells him he is going to be fired. Chet hints at impropriety, but won’t say more—and before Will can press him he falls so ill that he’s put on ventilator care.

Now, instead of losing his job, Will finds himself in the position of supporting Chet’s family through the hell of a dire illness. Just as suddenly, he finds his leadership ability tested by a crippling cyberattack that threatens the entire industry and leaves him with little time to untangle the mystery of whatever it is that Chet uncovered before he got sick.

Can Will clear his name before the ax falls—or his marriage collapses—due to his lapse in judgment? And does Bella, a young and beautiful rising star making waves with her own start-up company, have anything to do with this mess?

Early readers and reviewers describe the book as a thriller. Precision in this genre is often the goal; there are spy thrillers, detective thrillers, legal thrillers, action-adventure thrillers, medical thrillers etc. Amazon has characterized Behind the Lies as a domestic thriller, techno-thriller and psychological thriller. In my own early thinking, I characterized the book as a literary mystery—contemporary fiction with plenty of suspense.

Suspense is a crucial characteristic of the thriller genre. It evokes that irresistible combination of fascination and excitement mixed with apprehension, anticipation, and tension. For me as an avid reader of thrillers, the vicarious anxiety I feel for the protagonist in situations of danger albeit emotional or physical causes my chest to tighten and my pulse to quicken. I love thrillers for that reason!

The mood of Behind the Lies is intense. The book starts out with a scene that frames the mystery and complexity crowds in immediately. I chose the setting of the Kendall Square area of Boston near the Charles River as it is a biotech hub internationally recognized as an innovation district. I visualized a fast-paced, somewhat frenzied atmosphere of competitive business types where risk-taking is praised and cutting corners not uncommon.

But, this is not just a corporate cautionary tale. This is also about family, and how precious it is. Families we are born into, those we create, and those we find along the way.

I did not know I was writing a thriller until I was. I am a character driven writer so I start with a protagonist and build the narrative around the character development. In this case, Will, my protagonist, was where I started. Will grew up wounded by the loss of his parents, a nerdy wunderkind in the scientific community who was somewhat naive about the temptations of his new world in the morally challenged business climate of biotech wannabes. The story evolved as I kept throwing grenades at Will to test his reactions….and tension kept building.

In future posts I’ll write about my inspiration and themes of the book. Thanks for you interest in Behind the Lies !

Maren
marencooper.com

August Reset

My orientation around a school calendar remains even though I’ve not been in an academic setting for years and my children are well-past those years. Perhaps it is due to my Minnesota surroundings—August brings dog days of humidity and heat, the beginning of the end of garden blooms and the inevitable turn toward Fall. The Great Minnesota Get-Together, the State Fair, will start this week, and reminders of harvests to come echo through the ten-day event. We expect record crowds this year after the pandemic dip is behind us.

This year, August heralds a new book season for me. Behind the Lies will be published November 14th and this month signals the beginning of the run-up to the business of getting the book out there for its best start. With the help of my publicist, the book will be presented to reviewers, pitched to podcasters, radio interviewers etc. It can be wild and crazy, so this month is my last to take a deep breath and savor the end of summer.

My summer has been book-ended by house projects and travel. House projects are lots of work, expensive and require close attention—all of which I experienced and, with any luck, the final adjustments to be made by the contractor will be addressed by the end of the month. More fun by far was the multi-generational family trip to Iceland and Denmark with my grandchildren and adult children. It was a home-coming of sorts. I lived there for a year when my then husband was on sabbatical, and our son was born there. Tivoli and Legoland are a joy at any ages, but it was a special treat to visit with my 12 and 14 year old grandkids.

It was my first international trip in several years—and first to Iceland. I was registered to attend the Iceland Writers Retreat in April of 2020 but it was cancelled, so this was a special treat. What an interesting country it is! I was captivated by the active volcano in our midst, the creative use of geothermal energy, compelling Viking history and the spare beauty of the terrain. I read Icelandic thrillers on this trip and since my return discovered that the Prime Minister of Iceland, Katrin Jacobsdotter has a thriller coming out in early September! The book is co-written by the well known Icelandic author Ragnar Jonasson. I have pre-ordered it!

Reading thrillers has been a life-long passion of mine, and right now, I’ve been reading mystery/suspense novels to stay in tune with the genre as Behind the Lies is my first mystery.
Each of my three novels is quite different, A Better Next is women’s fiction featuring a career woman who is blind-sided by career and marital complications and is challenged to redefine happiness at mid-life. Finding grace is the coming of age story of a child born into a dysfunctional marriage who falls through the devastating schism that grows between her parents.

And now, Behind the Lies—set in the fast-paced world of biotechnology where free-wheeling ‘fake it til you make it’ culture is rampant, I’ve written a very human story about temptation and betrayal and the cost to those surrounding the players.

I didn’t set out to write a mystery, but I’m a character driven writer, so when I developed the character of Will Franklin, and put him in this setting….well, the challenges began! Corporate intrigue, a cyberattack and betrayal come into play with some pivots and colorful characters along the way. Will is at turns a bit naive and a wunderkind in the field of biotech and I loved writing his story. I hope you enjoy reading it!

First Anniversary for Finding Grace

On July 19th, it will be time to celebrate the one year anniversary of Finding Grace out in the world. Through no obvious planning on my part—but, rather a happy coincidence, I find myself up at the lake. Yes, that would be Lake Superior, the inspiration for the novel.

It’s been a very busy few months for me, and finally catching a break to catch my breath, I’m overjoyed to have a moment of stillness to contemplate what that actually means. The stillness is the important part for me. It was the stillness of the pandemic times that flowed through me, as an author, and allowed the deep emotional story that became Finding Grace to take root.

But, this stillness is not borne of pandemic angst and isolation. Rather, this stillness is a sense of calm, a retreat from the busyness that comes from a home project that takes over one’s life, family visits that deserve total immersion, engagement in good works for organizations that you have committed to, and the long-awaited social connections that needed to be celebrated.

I am reminded that my book launch in July of 2022 was the first event scheduled in the Performance Hall at Open Book in Minneapolis once it re-opened to the public. Fortunately, several events followed, some outdoors, in book stores and libraries, a few zoom events, a few podcast and radio interviews, some book club visits. Looking back, the timing worked and I was able to launch Finding Grace in style. It was lots of fun, and readers have been gracious.

Today, I look out at a lake that is calm and clear as a mirror. An ore boat in the distance… a few clouds floating by. I am satisfied that I gave the novel a good start. I’m pleased that many readers found the story meaningful. A few reviewers provide a sample of comments:

*I found this topic of an unloved child and its effects to be fascinating. Shows the resiliency of the human spirit.

*Keep a tissue handy..... One of the most heart wrenching books I've read this year.

*I loved all the Northern Minnesota locations in Finding Grace. The story of a very narcissistic, borderline and evil Mother..and the daughter caught in the middle.. Well written, fast moving read..

* This book addresses complicated psychosocial issues with compassion and care. The plot is engaging, the characters are well-drawn, and the story evokes strong emotions.

Other, more personal messages from readers are very meaningful as they validate my hopes for the book. I wanted to highlight the complexity of parenthood, the choices we make to raise a child, the ultimate right of a woman to her own reproductive choices, the wide range of emotional and mental challenges that are so common among us, the sacrifices made by good people, the costly mistakes made by humans everyday and the blessings of found family.

The drama of Lake Superior, the changeable nature of the wild around it were vital to the setting of the story, which called for an equally dramatic family dynamic. One of my messages in the story was the stigma of mental illness and the difficulty in getting care when needed. I was ecstatic that the long awaited 988 number for a national crisis hotline was made available in 2022 so that rural areas are not cut-off from this important public health measure. I hope it makes access easier to those who need it.

Finally, I’m happy to announce that my third novel, Behind the Lies, is now put to bed and will be published November 14, 2023. Another reason I can celebrate this moment of stillness—next blog post will be about the new book, a mystery…..

I hope you are finding time to catch your breath this summer!

Mother Love

Mother’s Day is supposed to be a day of celebration. A day of grand gestures and unconditional love expressed in all manner of ways. We’re inundated with images of mothers of all ages accepting flowers, mushy cards and kisses, and happily holding the day sacred for the likely brunch or dinner invitations to come.

Mothers of babies and toddlers are frequently doted on by the happy dads of the young ones, perhaps coached by others in the family to acknowledge the day. It would be next to impossible to miss the run-up to the holiday, as it is a commercial juggernaut and heralded for weeks in advance by businesses hoping to cash in and extended families sorting out how to honor the mothers, grandmothers and mother substitutes in their own orbit.

Social media is awash in pictures of happy families, nuclear and extended. Deceased mothers are recognized with declarations of love and devotion long past their lifetimes. Of late, I have noticed the generous mention of mothers who have lost their children through tragic circumstances or early death, with the reminder not to forget them on Mother’s Day.

It is an indisputable fact that all humans are birthed by mothers. Surrogate, fertility assisted— however a baby was conceived, the vehicle to arrive on the planet is good old mom. But it does not necessarily follow that all humans are mothered well, or that all children can be easily mothered. So, how is it that the picture of Mother’s Day is captured just by the smiley faces of those who seemingly are embraced in a circle of love?

Arguably the most important job in the world is taken for granted as the inevitable result of a biological process, with no licensure or credential needed to certify qualification for mothers who are immediately assumed to be able to care for every need of a new bundle of joy. And now, in our world, the right for women to determine when or if they are ready for motherhood is no longer guaranteed, indeed, it is threatened. The state of motherhood is precarious when mothers have no agency to make decisions about when and how to have a child. This is a risk factor for all of us.

I appreciate that we now acknowledge the mothers who have lost children to gun violence, early death, and other tragic circumstance, but what of the children who are victims of neglectful or abusive parents who have failed to protect them from domestic abuse in their homes? How do those children fare on Mother’s Day? And, how do the mothers of these children handle the celebratory aspects of the day—do they expect cards and flowers or does it cause a downward spiral of greater pain for everyone?

Family dysfunction has no economic, ethnic or geographic signature, of course. Physical violence is only one form of abuse. The toll resulting from emotional abuse due to the lack of nurturing a child by providing a safe environment, food, shelter and stability can cause early trauma that carries into adulthood. When women have not been shown respect and dignity to determine their own path for reproduction choices, should we be surprised when unconditional love for their children does not necessarily follow?

In my novel, Finding Grace, Caroline, a gifted ornithologist who wants a life of travel and adventure, gets pregnant against her wishes, her husband, Charlie, assumes she will change her mind. She doesn’t—and as their daughter, Grace, grows up, she falls through the devastating schism that grows between them. It is an emotional story. Caroline in her own world, is neglectful and distant, and the parenting burden falls to Charlie, who, in his own selfish way created the dysfunction in their family. I doubt if Mother’s Day was celebrated in their family.

The Heartbreak of a Runaway

Recently I had the opportunity to help return a runaway dog to its heartbroken owner. Perhaps I overstate my role here, let me tell you the story.

To say that Minnesota has had a long tough winter is understating the situation. We are still hovering at 40 degrees Farenheit and under threat of snow this April 23rd. Enough already!!! My daffodils are pushing forward, my red-bud is beginning to bloom and the final glacier like snow block has finally given way to allow the deleterious effect of early and unrelenting weather to show all matter of injury to the surfaces below. It’s high time for a spring clean-up.

Four weeks ago today, on a blustery Sunday afternoon, I was looking out at my backyard bordering the woods when I spotted a streak of dog racing down my neighbor’s driveway toward the woods. A mid-sized, short haired brown dog literally bounded over snowbanks that have stopped most creatures in their tracks. This dog was on a tear. Clearly not looking back for a human or forward to any hiker I could see, the animal kept a break-neck pace while turning to take the trail for parts unknown. As the animal was wearing a harness, I assumed there was a human somewhere and perhaps the dog had picked up the scent of a squirrel or other wildlife signal but would be reunited after the chase proved fruitless.

I didn’t think much more about it until the next afternoon when I was driving back into my neighborhood and saw a big yellow sign that stopped my heart. “LOST DOG” with a phone number and a picture of the dog I had seen, complete with harness. The cautionary note in bold caught my breath. DO NOT CHASE.

I called the number and talked to a young man who eagerly heard my story of seeing the dog the afternoon before in the woods behind my home. He explained that Maisy was a rescue he had just adopted two days before. She had been doing well in her new home, but somehow startled and bolted over a fence and had run away from him shortly before I saw her in the woods. He lived barely a mile from me, but we both worried aloud about Maisy in that wooded area, which was not far from a highway. She was not safe. We agreed that I would stay in touch.

An hour later, a staff person from the animal rescue program that had placed Maisy called me to debrief and asked me several questions about the location and whether I would allow them to put a trap (with a live camera hook-up) at the edge of the woods to lure Maisy into safety with some food and a blanket to get her through the weather. Gratifying to both of us was that I saw Maisy on the trail in the woods while I was on the phone with her; she cautioned me not to approach the dog, due to her skittishness and fear of strangers.

Two nights out in the weather, another sighting or two. I was anxious for the dog and the owner. While we found tracks leading close to the trap—no luck. Finally, morning number three—good news. The rescue team came up with an ingenious plan to bring Maisy’s sister Serena, also a rescue, to the woods and after a bit, Maisy picked up her scent and approached Serena, accompanied by Maisy’s owner and the staff person. What a sweet reunion it was!

I love happy endings!

Gestures of Love

February is the perfect month to make a gesture of love. Get showy even! Flowers, Valentine cards, chocolate, and in my case home-made sugar cookies baked from my mother’s recipe—hand-written on one of those old index cards, with frayed edges and sparse instructions. It is so well-used that splotches of spilled vanilla and egg yolk decorate it. The ink is fading to the point that I’ve had to type and print it—but, I don’t have the HEART to toss it. It is love personified in my book. Recently, I was asked for the recipe by a niece and while I sent her my typed version, I couldn’t resist sending her a copy of the original. Love can be passed on pretty easily if we take the time to do it.

Last week I chatted about my book Finding Grace at two small town libraries in Minnesota. For those of you who have read the book, you will not be at all surprised that Caroline, the mother in the book, was the topic of an animated discussion about motherhood. A couple of readers shared their opinion about how terrible Caroline was, and others defended her as wronged—she was just being true to herself in following her muse, regardless of the biology that changed her course.

I wrote Caroline as a unique, bold character who lacked even a hint of self-awareness; a character who defied convention, and was extremely difficult to categorize, a character who when displayed on the page, would be untraditional at best and unreliable at worst.

Finding Grace is the story of this character’s effect on others.

Some would categorize Caroline as a full-out narcissist. I resisted an actual diagnosis for Caroline, as intuition guides me to believe there are many people among us who display narcissistic tendencies. The opposite is also true— in my experience there are people who get into trouble when they are so selfless that they give up their own identity and get lost in the journey to juggle everything and never put themselves first, which can also lead to emotional distress.

After Finding Grace was written, I discovered an author and psychologist who wrote about narcissism and was struck by her work, and relieved to find my fictional account was not misleading. When I reached out to Karyl McBride, she called me to offer a blurb for Finding Grace, which I treasure:

“When you start to read Finding Grace, be prepared for a gripping and heart-wrenching story about a daughter raised by a narcissistic mother and enabling father. Cooper pulls together the psychological dynamics that hit the nail on the head, page by page, and reveals the intense trauma and effects of narcissistic parenting. I couldn’t stop turning those pages. Intense and brilliant.” Karyl McBride, PHD, psychotherapist and author of Will I ever Be good enough? and Will I Ever Be Free of You?

Karyl has a new book coming out this week Will the Drama Ever End? Untangling and Healing from the Harmful effects of Parental Narcissism. I have read an advance reader’s copy and recommend it to those who recognize the signs of narcissistic abuse and are interested in a comprehensive and actionable guide to understanding and healing from that abuse. You can learn more about Karyl at her website— https://willieverbegoodenough.com/

In the meantime, share the love. Remember small gestures are treasured more than we realize.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Maren

Her Choice

Early In this new year, I’ve been lucky to have a few library events to talk about Finding Grace. Added to the many interviews and events I’ve had in the six months since the book has been out, I’m not surprised that one of the most common questions I get is about Caroline and her views on motherhood—she didn’t aspire to it. Some readers, express indignation about why Caroline, who was outspoken about motherhood, is frequently considered the villain in the story. The theme is one I’ve written about in an essay before, but given that today is the 50th anniversary of the Roe v Wade decision, I thought it was worth re-visiting.
When a woman says “Motherhood is not for me” why don’t we accept that?
Perhaps she knows herself better than anyone else. And, in a world where that choice is subject to curiosity at best and more likely criticism, a woman brave enough to say that aloud deserves respect not derision.
Clearly, many religious leaders have taken the position on birth control and abortion through the ages that promoted adding children to the world at a pace that was limited only by biology, not human choice. 
The narrative bolsters the belief that childless women are not living up to their full potential, but are somehow lesser than women who have children. The stereotype of a woman without children includes the mystery of ‘why’ and is shrouded in questions about health, disposition, and curiosity about past trauma. Everybody rushes to explain this condition, as if it is catchy.
And, it may be catching on. According to research from the Pew Research Center, in 2021 some 44% of non-parents ages 18 to 49 say it is not too or not at all likely that they will have children someday, an increase of 7 percentage points from the 37% who said the same in a 2018 survey.
Recent events may be accelerating the trend to remain childfree. The pandemic and the world’s encroaching threats of climate change and political upheaval have added to the justification. “Why would I bring a child into this mess?” 
And now that Roe v Wade has been repealed, women have lost many assumed legal protections resulting in incredible chaos in securing a woman’s reproductive rights across the country. Where is the humanity in shaming those would be parents into a choice that may not be in the best interests of the child, the woman, the couple, the family, and an environmentally challenged world?
It is a woman’s choice to determine her own capacity to become a mother. Nobody else’s. Let her decide, without shame.
What about the woman who feels that she doesn’t have it in her? Whether that assessment is due to her own insight that her professional, athletic or artistic pursuits will take up all of her energy, or because she is not keen on the potential baby fathers in her universe, or because she herself was not mothered well, and worries that she will repeat the cycle. Perhaps she was subjected to abuse that caused such trauma that her overwhelming worry for any potential child would be difficult to overcome. Or, her own health is precarious and taking care of herself is all she can handle. These are just a few of the totally valid reasons not to become a mother.
Birth control methods are not 100% successful in preventing pregnancy. Not every woman is willing to abide by the biology determination—if I am a woman, I need to use my body to usher in the next generation. Unfortunately, this sentiment remains close to the surface in our world today.
But, if a woman knows her mind and her capacities, why don’t we listen? My guess is the unwanted children out there would want us to listen…..
An earlier version of this essay, before Roe v Wade was repealed appeared in the June 1, 2022 edition of Ms Career Girl.https://www.mscareergirl.com/why-dont...

The Thing About Small Towns

“The nice thing about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.” - Immanuel Kant, 1724-1804, German Philosopher.
I love this quote — and it is centuries old! But, is it still true?

When the phrase “small town” is spoken, you can almost see the wheels turn in the listener’s head based on their own experience with a small town, if any. Perhaps an image pops up of a road trip when they drove through a small town or a romantic movie depicting an enviable picturesque hamlet or even a village near a favorite vacation spot. Maybe they had a school friend who came to the city from a rural environment and was considered a rube, lacking big city sophistication. Some may recall depressing news reports of formerly bustling towns whose main street storefronts are now looking shabby and empty after the younger generation left for better job opportunities.

But, if you grew up in a small town— you often have a love/hate relationship with it. When you are young, you have a driving instinct to leave it for adventures elsewhere. When you are older, you tend to romanticize the experience.

Small towns have been maligned by authors such as Sherwood Anderson (Winesburg Ohio) and Sinclair Lewis (Main Street) in the early 1920’s which led to the easy stereotype of small towns in popular culture as dull. Dull may be appealing to some today looking for a simpler lifestyle than city life affords them —especially during the social unrest and pandemic years in our recent past. Many people free to work remotely re-located to smaller towns or outer ring suburbs to get away from the hubbub in search of less expensive housing and safer surroundings.

If you move to a small town after living in a city, there is a definite learning curve.The thing about small towns is—it’s hard to remain a stranger in one. People tend to know you, or get to know you. if you have lived in one all of your life—they know your family, they know where you came from, your people. If you haven’t, the townsfolk will be asking about your people and where you came from—not to be nosy, but to get to know you.
Is that good? Or bad? It depends on your temperament and sociability— or your secrets.
Knowledge of others can be used helpfully or maliciously—secrets are kept or not. Rumors circulate or information is shared. It’s really about the intent. To help, or to malign. Do townsfolk bring you food when you are sick, or snicker behind your back?
In my novel Finding Grace, Charles Booker and Caroline Tate Booker start married life in a small town. With no family ties, they were transplants from the East Coast, moving to the midwest for jobs and not looking to get close to anyone. But things happened, and time passed; Charlie blended in and Caroline left. Charlie did so reluctantly, as he was slow to trust, and not confident he had the bona fides to fit in anywhere. But he was embraced. It was lucky for Charlie and his daughter Grace that they had integrated into the town, as they needed support.
I grew up in a small town, lived in a foreign country, a big city and a village. In my experience wherever I have lived, it seems my neighborhood becomes a small town. Reaching out and getting to know neighbors, business owners and supporting the local economy are important to the success of any sized community and the fabric of daily life. I tried to shine a light on that reciprocity factor in Finding Grace.

Loathsome Mothers

By now, many have read Finding Grace, and have deep feelings about Caroline and her style of mothering. One of my early reviewers used the term “loathsome” to describe Caroline, who, many have cast as the villain in the story, even when she was tricked by Charlie—and put in a position she never wanted. This conundrum of villainy is rich for discussion and I can’t help but play with it, probably several times!

Today, a detour to the literary giant Elena Farrante, whose delicious book made into a movie this past year pulled me in as a magnet. I was drawn to the Netflix film “The Lost Daughter” as a fan of Olivia Coleman’s, and was intrigued that Maggie Gyllenhaal, a gifted actress, would take on the task of bringing an Elena Farrante novel to the screen as her debut movie project. For me, Farrante is a cultivated taste—her Neapolitan novels caused a sensation when they were first published in 2011-2014. Written as four components of one work of fiction, the author’s focus is on the subtleties of class and gender through a rather dark friendship between two Italian girls who grow up in a poor neighborhood on the outskirts of Naples in the era of the 1940’s. The coming-of-age story follows them through to their middle-age. I read the first of the four, “My Brilliant Friend,” and decided to forego the others for later. And later has never arrived.

What did arrive was the movie version of an earlier novel by Elena Farrante, The Lost Daughter. Olivia Colman plays the role of Leda, a classic literature translator who goes to a Grecian locale to unwind; but her quiet vacation takes an unsettling turn when her fixation on a young mother staying at a nearby villa awakens memories of her own early years of motherhood before she left her young children. Now middle-aged and divorced, she suffers from an estranged relationship with her grown daughters. Leda forms an odd kinship with the young mother, Nina (Dakota Johnson) and her infant daughter, in a warily reciprocated bonding over shared misgivings about motherhood and what it requires. How Leda recaptures the memories of her relationship with her daughters using Nina as a lens back to her early motherhood forms the rest of the story.

In the film, one easily picks up the similarity between present day Nina, and Leda, earlier in her marriage and motherhood. It’s no secret that Nina is having an extramarital affair and overwhelmed with the near constant demands of dealing with a toddler. This triggers Leda’s flashbacks to how she gave in to her own temptations to leave her marriage and children for another man and to focus all of her energies on the affair and her academic climb to full professor.

“Children are a crushing responsibility.” Leda says in empathy with Nina. Clearly, Leda left that crushing responsibility to live on her own terms, rather than struggle to live her life for someone else. And now, in a rare moment of vacation repose, she must struggle to reconcile her past.

The movie’s confrontational edge is psychologically harrowing and painful to watch. It’s also conceivable that Leda is emotionally disturbed to the point of being an unreliable narrator.

What the story imparts has incredible heft in the manner in which it so sharply delineates the female identity. Why is it that motherhood is biologically confined to the time a woman is determining her life path, puzzling with the inherent conflicts of a possible marriage, the unpredictability of love and passion, and the certainty of difficulties in child-rearing?
Any of the above can either confound or obstruct the free expression of ones’ need for self expression and growth toward maturity. Life choices crowd women of child-bearing age when the stakes couldn’t be higher.

Are Leda and Nina bad mothers? How many mother types are acceptable? Did Leda have voice in the decision for motherhood or did the conformity of the times speak for her?
Societal norms about motherhood have shifted over time, but judgment for the woman who neglects or abuses her children remains harsh. A woman who abandons her children is viewed differently than a father who leaves his family. But what about the woman who chooses not to bear children. What about the woman who knows that it is wrong for her? Choices for women have always been constrained, and remain so.

In my novel, Finding Grace, Caroline, the reluctant mother, states that she was not meant to be a mother. But, she is tricked into a pregnancy she doesn’t want. She agrees to proceed after her husband assures her he will be the parent in the household. Is this acceptable? Is it workable? And what damage will follow?