Stacy Barton's Blog, page 5

“Hope” is the Thing With Feathers

As Emily Dickinson wrote:

“Hope” is the thing with feathers -

That perches in the soul -

And sings the tune without the words -

And never stops – at all -

And sweetest – in the Gale – is heard -

And sore must be the storm -

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm -

I’ve heard it in the chillest land -

And on the strangest Sea -

Yet – never – in Extremity,

It asked a crumb – of me.

the making of Yaya

you know it takes almost 10 months to make a baby. and most of that time to prepare a mommy and a daddy.

but i am here to tell you that even after four babies of my own, and four young adult launches into the great wide blue, it has taken me until 3 weeks before her due date to begin to find my own rhythm as my granddaughter’s Yaya. her “G” seems unruffled, ready.

making my Yaya room has helped. i cleared out the old unworkable office and “G” set up new bookshelves. we got rid of half our books (they’re  sitting in trader joe’s paper bags in the living room with half my clothes) but couldn’t part with the literary journals and classics and personal favorites and several shelves of books our kids were raised on…Junie B Jones, Dr Suess, The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, Harry Potter…

then i brought in an ikea orange rug with white polka dots and a friends pack ‘n’ play. a changing pad from my sister-in-law atop another kid’s discarded desk became a changing table and Todd’s first piece of furniture–purchased with his own money in college–the “spinning chair” as the kids used to call it, became my Yaya rocker.

i got excited then, found old baby quilts in the closet, bought a multi-colored, dealy-bob, hand-knitted hat at salvation army, ordered zoo sheets, animal patchwork curtains, a bright green frog hamper, hung a long armed monkey from the bed and bought a pink monkey changing pad. i rooted around in the closet for those special toys i had worked so hard to save and found there were precious few left. these i tucked in a wicker basket and set by the new baby’s bed: angelina ballerina and her trunk of many outfits, madeline in her portable orphanage, beanie babies, and an imagination kit used over and over on family camping trips.

i have more plans for this room, children’s paintings that have not had their proper viewing for some time, flowers in the little ceramic pots on the windowsill…and then there is getting rid of the baby momma’s first wedding dress. same groom, just a change of fashion. it still hangs in its crisp white bag over the closet door. size 2 anyone?

even so, every time i walk by my Yaya room, i turn on the light, look inside and smile. it is not a baby room and it is not my room…it is our Yaya room, a place for me and this new one yet to be…and the others that just might come along. i have great plans and hopes to fill it full of love and laughter, cuddles and stories, whispers and secrets…the kind only a Yaya can share.