Zetta Elliott's Blog

grace

I’m a planner but there are plenty of things that are beyond my control—I accept that. The transition to France hasn’t been flawless but I’m trying to adjust and adapt. The Airbnb I booked is much louder than expected so I found another place for the next two months…but Airbnb put the apartment back on the market even though I plan to keep living here since I paid for this month in advance. Lots of back and forth…but I think it will work out. One of the guides I found on YouTube is meeting me tomorrow for a walking tour of Tours and some general advice on moving here. I’m keeping my options open. I found a law firm website that outlines *in detail* what I need to qualify for an artist visa. It’s a lot…I had most of the materials ready last week but when I got to the appointment, the young clerk said I needed a job offer or invitation. And the law firm says the same thing: even self-employed artists need a job offer or proof of collaboration. So I tried reaching out to the office of cultural affairs but their contact form didn’t work for me—it could be that French keyboards are different. Not sure, but I will hire a translator if necessary and figure out whether a long-term future is possible here.

Right now I have a 90-day tourist visa and then I have to leave not just France but the EU. I think I could go to the Channel Islands or the UK…or back to the US or Canada…before re-entering the EU for another 90 days. I’d be following in the footsteps of my Huguenot ancestors! And I’m still working on the Ireland novel, so I could pop over there, too. For now, I’m trying to be present instead of dreaming about someplace else. I reached out to all the international schools in France to see if they might like an author visit. I’ve queried a couple of French foreign rights agents to see if they might want to meet. I’ve opened an online account with a French print-on-demand platform so I can self-publish the picture book about Tours. I emailed the local art school to see if I could post a job notice for their students. Not sure how else I’ll find a local illustrator, though I’ve also joined a Facebook expat group. I’m trying! I call this my “throw everything at the wall” mode…

I’ve got too much luggage and shipped a box of books to myself before leaving Chicago. That’s the trouble with trying to prepare for any and every eventuality! Sometimes you wind up over-prepared and overpacked…getting my giant suitcases up 2 flights of winding, narrow stairs was almost impossible so my next place is on the ground floor. I’m learning…and granting myself some grace each time I fail or fall short. Today’s rainy and grey but I still went for a run. Now I’m listening to Xmas music and getting ready to revise my Tours story, though a nap may happen first…

inward & outward

My friend is going through a lot right now but she still thoughtfully gifted me a tarot reading for my birthday. I’m not sure how people manage to hold so much in their heads…menopause has certainly compromised my memory and I don’t even have that much to remember! I make lists and that usually keeps me on track. Still, the move last weekend was chaotic and my appointment at the visa center yesterday didn’t go as planned. The holiday on Tuesday delayed the wire transfer after Monday’s closing but I tried to stay calm and things worked out. Then this morning the buyer made post-sale demands and I felt myself spiraling…I know it’s largely due to fatigue but it was helpful to hear some truths affirmed in my reading. My tarot reader focused on my number for the year, which is 9 or The Hermit in the Major Arcana. We started with a different deck, which showed a fox resting in a starlit circle. Owen, who’s fantastic, reminded me that the hermit can represent a kind of tension—movement inward and outward in a cycle. I’ve been feeling for a long time that I wanted to retreat—experience deep solitude and silence. I’m reading about Irish monasteries right now and remembering my visit to Glendalough last year. My cousin joked about hermits forsaking all worldly possessions and I definitely wished I were a medieval monk last weekend as I was chucking my stuff into garbage bags because it wouldn’t all fit in my suitcases. I hate waste and gave SO much away but there was still stuff leftover…I wound up throwing some things in the trash, which felt terrible. I also rented a storage unit and couldn’t even fill it but those few boxes now feel like a tether. I’m leaving but I’ll have to come back to deal with those things someday, which means I’m not really free. THINGS! Ugh…

The hermit in tarot also travels by limited light so I ought to take small steps even though what I want right now is to leap into a new life. Transition is hard…I manage my anxiety by keeping an orderly home and following a routine but I feel unsettled in this Airbnb. And if my application takes 3 weeks to process (apparently they’re prioritizing student visas right now) then I’ll have to find another place to stay next week. I’m still writing a poem a day, I’m trying to read for an hour, I’m checking things off my To Do list and I’ve got folks reaching out who want to connect before I leave. When I try to withdraw, the world pulls me out of my cave. But I’ll always crave that solitude, even as I yield to others’ demands, which are ultimately good for me most of the time. I had a virtual author visit last night, and I’ve got another one next week. A librarian reached out about a virtual visit later this month…I’m trying to say “yes” as much as I can, to keep making connections with others even as I give myself the restorative, quiet time I need. Here’s hoping that the next blog post is from France!

quiet chaos

I don’t do well with clutter but I’m a week away from moving out of my Hyde Park apartment and so there’s stuff EVERYWHERE. And I’m trying to be okay with that! I dreaded putting my things on Facebook Marketplace but I’m giving it a try and it’s low stakes because I’ve arranged for the Honest Junk Company to come and collect my belongings next weekend. They charge for the removal but everything goes to charitable organizations, including the Chicago Furniture Bank. So I’m no longer worried about all the antiques my grandparents gave me over 30 years ago. My friend and neighbor bought my three stained-glass lamps and sent me this photo earlier today—I’m so glad it has found the perfect home! I met another author at an event last Monday and we met up today to talk all things publishing. Then I saw on IG that she loves tea parties so I asked if she’d want all my tea party accessories and she said YES! So all those beloved teacups and teapots and my 3-tier tray are now with another person who truly appreciates them.

We close on the 10th and my visa appointment is on the 12th. Then I wait in my Airbnb in the South Loop for the French Consulate to approve my application. I’ve printed out everything I can think of to prove that I am a “legitimate” artist. And I’ve been busy this month—3 school visits in Columbus, which were amazing, and then a bookstore event last Monday and another school visit in Bronzeville on Wednesday. Now I have just two online events for November and that means time to write in December—in France! There are plenty of things I’ll need to worry about but for now, I’m focusing on the move. We had a meeting with an editor on Friday and I knew in my gut that it wasn’t going to work out but I agreed to consider her suggestion that I merge two very different stories. I looked at the manuscripts over this weekend, talked to some friends, and will let the editor know that that path to publication isn’t right for me. The sale of my condo means I’m not desperate to sell my stories right now. I’ve already written one story set in France and hope my language skills improve so that I can soon write in French…

proof

Part of my visa application requires that I prove I am a professional artist. For weeks I’ve been gathering documents—royalty statements, my latest agent agreement, contracts for upcoming gigs. I suppose I’ll bring copies of my books to the interview. What makes me legit in their eyes, I wonder. A 12-page CV can be faked, as can a website…still, I took some new selfie headshots yesterday since I promised myself I’d update them annually and then missed a year. My dress is lopsided and so is my hair. A “real” author would hire a professional photographer, I suppose, and I may go back to doing that next year but for now, Photo Booth works for me. I’m slowly clearing out my drawers and found this piece of fabric that I didn’t remember buying. Figured I might as well take some photos before putting it in the bag that’s going to my friend’s elementary school. I’ve already delivered five bags of craft supplies, along with seven bags of books to the neighborhood book fair, and as many bags of shoes and clothes were taken to the local donation bin. Next I need to figure out how to sell some of my furniture…and how much to ship.

The move to France isn’t guaranteed but we’re closer than before. After getting several offensively low offers on my condo, we got two respectable ones and I accepted the buyer most likely to get approved for a mortgage. The other offer came from a buyer who’s getting jammed up by the government shutdown. I feel for him but I can’t afford to wait for our elected officials to work things out. I might run into problems, too, when I fly to Columbus this week for three school visits. I’m supposed to fly out at 7am and reach the first school by 11am, but with TSA workers and air traffic controllers not getting paid, I’m sure there will be delays. Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best…

At least it finally feels like fall here in Chicago. I’ve had to spend a lot of time out of the house due to viewings and most recently the 2-hour inspection. Grateful to have museums, and galleries, and a movie theater nearby. I haven’t exactly made a bucket list for Chicago but I wouldn’t mind riding the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier before I go. See the city from a different perspective. Chicago has taught me something new about the limits of beauty. It can soothe and seduce but ultimately I need more from a city. Not sure I’ll find that in France but I’m ready to learn just what it takes to keep this “legitimate” artist satisfied…

“way-finding”

One of the most important books I’ve ever read is Dionne Brand’s A Map to the Door of No Return. I used to teach it but it’s been a while so I’ll have to paraphrase and hope I’m remembering right. Brand examines the legacy of Atlantic slavery and the impossibility of undoing the damage, the traumatic rupture Black people experienced after being trafficked out of Africa and enslaved for centuries. We can’t go back “home,” but wherever we landed around the world, we developed cultures that encouraged “way-finding”—we searched for or made maps (sometimes in the stars) that would lead us to freedom (or at least someplace better).

With zero fanfare, I released The Map of Doors this week. After having a terrible experience with IngramSpark, I went back to Amazon; you can find the hardcover, paperback, and ebook there. I’ve been looking at the map of France a lot over the past few months and think I’ve narrowed down my first destination. I put my condo on the market and our first viewings are tomorrow. My visa application is underway and I canceled the one in-person school visit I scheduled for March. I haven’t decided whether I’ll store my furniture and ship it to France or try to sell it before I go. One moment I feel like I could let everything go, and the next day I struggle to imagine parting with my heirlooms and more recent purchases. Does holding onto things make you free? No. Could I start from scratch and build a beautiful home somewhere else? Yes.

I consulted my astrologer and my psychic and they both approved the move. I was advised to get my health in order so tried to get three vaccines this week but only succeeded in getting one. A sign of things to come, I suspect. With subsidies slashed, I likely won’t be able to afford even an awful bronze health plan through the government marketplace next year. If this artist visa is approved, I’ll be able to stay in France for up to four years. Both psychic and astrologer saw Rome in my future so who knows where I’ll go next.

Do I feel guilty about leaving when the country’s in crisis? No. And I’ll definitely come back…there’s a tradition of African Americans seeking sanctuary in France. I’ve got pictures of Josephine Baker throughout my apartment…no banana skirt for me, but she blazed a trail and found empowerment as an expat-–something I admire. WEB DuBois fought for a lifetime before renouncing his US citizenship. He died shortly after moving to Ghana. I want more than 2 years of freedom but as my friends struggle to move abroad, I recognize my relative privilege: no dependents, an asset I can sell to fund my move, the ability to speak French at least a little. I’m pretty sure I qualify for the artist visa but I wouldn’t have become a published author if I hadn’t left Canada for the US thirty years ago. We search for a way to be free, to grow, to thrive. I’m grateful for all the doors I knocked on that were opened for me…and also the ones that stayed shut, prompting me to move…

I’m not supposed to share the cover of A Song for Juneteenth, but you can get a 25% discount today if you preorder it from Barnes & Noble on September 5. Use the code PREORDER25! Not sure if there will be interest in my books in France, but I’ve already started writing a picture book set in Tours…

wishes

I was diagnosed with endometriosis in my late twenties and the treatment that finally provided relief was a combination of hormones that simulate menopause. Many medical professionals assured me everything would be better once I had kids, disregarding my assertion that that wasn’t part of my plan. I figured eventually I could give up the hormones since I would enter menopause by 50 but that hasn’t happened…and for a while I had endo pain alongside hot flashes, which made no sense whatsoever since one feeds on estrogen and the other is caused by a lack of estrogen.

Now I’ve switched from the Pill to a patch and the day after its application I get the worst migraine. Everything’s a trade-off, it seems. I wanted an apartment in Hyde Park; found one I could afford, got a low interest rate, fixed it up, made it beautiful, and now I’m ready to move on…been in IL for five years but don’t see a future in Chicago, can’t find another affordable big city, and the country’s going downhill faster than expected. Apparently this atrocious bill the Republicans passed recently slashes not just Medicaid but also subsidies for those of us buying health insurance through Obamacare. My bronze plan is already pretty awful but I may not even be able to afford something comparable next year. So what to do? Move just a few years after I finally committed to US citizenship in 2021? I can cast absentee ballots from abroad, I guess, and hope my vote gets counted. Retirement is a ways off, though I suspect Social Security won’t be solvent by the time I reach my 60s. Clearly I’m not feeling too optimistic. I need another republic with universal healthcare and affordable rent. Can’t afford Ireland and might need a bit more sunshine, though I’m not a tropical girl. How to be an ethical expat…

I spent quite a bit of time looking into French visas this week. It’s the only language I can speak besides English and I have Huguenot ancestry that might be fun to explore. The LeBers and LeCordiers didn’t get too far, fleeing religious persecution in France by settling in the Channel Islands before migrating to Canada. LeBer is German in origin so I could do some research in Alsace…or choose a place in the south of France that isn’t likely to catch fire every summer. Canada’s wildfires are why Chicago had the worst air quality in the world for a couple of days last week. Can’t outrun the climate crisis but I could go over to France as a tourist, spend a few weeks touring the country, and then decide if I want to apply for a long-stay visa. Maybe see if any publishers are interested in the foreign rights to my books. Hope that my basic French skills improve rapidly!

Chani says Monday is one of the most auspicious days of the year. Don’t think my new novel is going to be ready by then but she said you can also just write down some intentions or dreams…I’m growing pansies and morning glories from seeds this summer and got my first bloom last week. Not sure if the pansies will ever bloom but I enjoy tending to them every day. It’s not the eventual harvest that matters most…I just want to give them—and myself—everything we need to grow and thrive.

updates

Phew! A lot has happened so far this month. First, I got to see the almost-finished art for my 2026 picture book, A SONG FOR JUNETEENTH. Noa has created a vibrant book that feels very summery and is sure to appeal to kids. Purple is working on final sketches for the interior illustrations for THE MAP OF DOORS (see left), and almost every morning I wake up to find she has sent me amazing new drawings or finished work. I got a lovely portrait of Jaxon from my artist in Hungary, my designer in Indonesia has started working on the cover, and I signed with a new agent on Monday!

I haven’t had representation for a couple of years, which means I lost a third of my income. I never stopped writing, but nothing I wrote could be submitted to editors at the Big 5 because they only accept agented submissions. If you can’t submit to editors, you can’t get offers that pay the biggest advances…and when I submitted to editors at small presses, they rejected my stories or just ghosted me. But things will hopefully change now that Andy Ross is representing me; he came highly recommended by my friend in Berkeley and I trust her implicitly. Still, it will be up to me to be a good partner-client. Having an agent can be challenging unless you share values and goals. I’m hopeful that I’ve finally found someone who respects me as a writer and understands that making money, though important, isn’t my top priority.

On the home front, I’ve been writing a thousand words a day and finally have reached the last chapter of this novel. Last week the electricians came to install updated wiring for my dryer; I love living in old buildings but there’s definitely a price to be paid when it comes to 21st-century renovations. Had some trouble with the plumber but my woman electrician recommended someone else so I might be set…it’s a hassle but a good exercise in advocating for myself.

I tend to eat a lot when I get near the end of a novel so there have been a couple of Instacart orders that contained more than one pint of Ben & Jerry’s (it was on sale!)…but I’m back to running, too, which feels good. I’m going to try hormone therapy to manage some of my perimenopause symptoms and I’m forcing myself to spend time outside with friends even though summer isn’t my favorite season.

I think those are all of my updates. Hopefully the MAP OF DOORS cover will be ready to reveal soon, so stay tuned!

 

we’ve got “merch!”

It never would have occurred to me to design a t-shirt for fans of DRAGONS IN A BAG—I don’t own rights to the artwork and so couldn’t put the cover or illustrations on anything. But when Bonfire reached out and offered to do it for/with me, I thought, “Why not?”

Is your school or class reading DRAGONS IN A BAG? Need a unique raffle prize? We now have t-shirts in a variety of sizes, styles, and colors inspired by DRAGONS IN A BAG! Perfect for the young readers in your life and those fantasy fans who are still young at heart. Featuring a quote from Professor L. Roy Jenkins who started it all by sending three baby dragons to Brooklyn…

Order yours now!

 

the end

Berkeley already feels like a lifetime ago but it was a pretty magical weekend. My friend Laura found me a lovely backyard cottage in nearby Oakland and I spent a fair bit of time there recovering from the journey and then my introvert overload after two back-to-back panels on Saturday. Unfortunately, Covid reared its ugly head; I tested negative and brought home only great memories and the positive energy of being with my West Coast friends. We talk once a month but it’s rare for us to all be in the same place. Laura thinks I should move to California but it’s WAY too expensive and I need a walkable city…the gardens in Berkeley were gorgeous, I do love the architecture, and I’m proud of the protestors standing up for immigrants’ rights right now. Not sure where I’ll head after Chicago but I’m pretty sure the West Coast is out.

Travel can be disruptive and I’m looking forward to spending the summer at home. But on the plane to San Francisco I finally finished my fairytale about the paintings of Walter H. Williams! I closed the file when I got back to Chicago and was ready to move on when I realized I needed to add an author’s note. Then I finished the author’s note and closed that file, too, only to realize I needed to say more…so will open that file again once I finish my lesson plan for Saturday’s workshop: “Magic & Memory: Reframing Trauma in African American Historical Fiction/Fantasy.” We’re focusing on the NYC Draft Riots of 1863 but there are plenty of parallels in the news today. I heard the first Black mayor of Tulsa talking about his reparations package for Black residents and how important it was to stop calling the massacre a “riot.” Sports fans win or lose a championship and they riot, tearing down lampposts and turning over cars. But when a White mob lynches Black people and drops bombs on a thriving business district to preserve their supremacy—that’s something else. Most of the protestors in LA are peaceful but a handful of extremists prompts a heavy-handed response from the White House—but that didn’t happen when law enforcement was under attack on January 6. What’s happening in Northern Ireland is appalling, xenophobic, racist, and has nothing to do with “protecting” women and girls. Lately I keep hearing the voice of Ida B. Wells in my head—she was so right about overreach…groups seeking impunity create fictions that simply aren’t supported by the facts. “Nobody…believes the old threadbare lie…” Back then she was writing about the myth of the Black rapist but there are many ways to apply that logic today. Call someone a rapist or a terrorist or an insurrectionist—regardless of the truth—and it automatically puts them beyond the pale and strips them of their rights and humanity…

I have to believe this chaos is creating conditions for growth or rebirth or revolution. Wildfires in Canada are once again making the air hard to breathe here in the US. Walden Pond Books ordered copies of THE WITCH OF THE WOODS but they didn’t arrive in time for our panel on self-publishing so if you’re in the Bay Area, stop by to get a copy. Marcus Books, which is about to celebrate its 65th anniversary and is the oldest Black-owned bookstore in the country, had copies of THE ORACLE’S DOOR for our panel on MG fantasy. They asked me to sign the remaining copies so please, be sure to support them! I’m pretty sure you can order both books from both stores in person or online.

highs & lows

I found out yesterday that DRAGONS IN A BAG made USA TODAY’S Best-selling Booklist—for the first time since it was published in 2018! I’m happy but also a little confused…sales are steady but they’re still down from the book’s peak popularity three years ago. So why have we made this list now? I’ll never understand publishing. I did my last school visit of the 2024-25 school year yesterday and one teacher made point of telling me—twice—how much her classes enjoyed the dragon series. Another teacher in NJ reached out to my publisher with the same comment; it’s definitely gratifying to know that my books are meeting a need. I never knew it was hard to find books for third graders! Books with a Black protagonist, yes, but teachers keep stressing the pacing and plot are what hook their students. Book 1 didn’t feel any different from the many magical stories I’d penned before…I wasn’t following an algorithm to guarantee commercial success. The publisher put minimal marketing support behind the series and yet it continues to sell—we’re coming up on 600,000 copies sold. It’s a mystery…but I’m very grateful for all the libraries, and teachers, and booksellers, and readers who have support the series for seven years!

My last book festival is next weekend in Berkeley. If you’re in or near the Bay Area, join us! I’ll be on three panels: