Matthew Cesca's Blog, page 5

The Year 2020 and The Creative Void

By the time this post goes live, it will be the last day of 2020 (well, on the east coast at least). And what a rollercoaster of a year it's been, full of ups and downs and stomach-wrenching loop-d-loops. And personally, I hate rollercoasters. I don't have the stomach for it. I don't even like sudden drops on back country roads, and I grew up among the rolling hills of western Connecticut. I learned how to drive on hairpin turns covered in black ice and packed snow, so you'd think that I would have been able to handle all the twists and turns this year threw at us.

Not exactly.

It's fair to say that none of us have escaped 2020 unscathed. And far too many of us didn't make it this far at all. The fact that we have lost so many people this year weighs heavy on my heart, especially when so much of this death (certainly not all of it) was likely avoidable. I'm going to try not to go on a rant about that, but we'll see what happens. No promises at this point.

But that's why I'm giving myself a free pass for all the things that I didn't get done this year. And there were many. So many. I had some very good intentions for 2020. But good intentions only get you so far. Still, let's list them off:

I wanted to finish the first draft of my new sci-fi project, but that didn't happen.

I switched back to the last book of my fantasy trilogy hoping that would be easier, but that's been just as taxing.

I busted out an entire six-thousand word short story in one day, and have yet to even read it again myself.

I intended to post at least once a week in my blog, but this will be my first post since August 29th.

I started doing author interviews on my blog, and then let them fall by the wayside because I didn't have the energy for them.

The truth is, it feels like I hit a brick wall this year. And I know I'm not alone. I've spoke with many other creatives who feel the same way. So that gives me some small comfort as I push forward every day, a little at a time. But the shear enormity of this year and all the chaos that's come with it has been a drain on the creative half of my brain. And I have not handled that well.

The truth is, my writing has saved me from the darkness of my own demons at one of the most difficult times in my life: my divorce. It's fair to say that I hit rock bottom in the aftermath of my marriage's collapse.

Now let's get real for a second. Roughly half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. I'm not the first person to go through such a crisis, nor will I be the last. But it was writing my first novel, ",The Stairs in the Woods" that helped lift me up and finally find the purpose and passion that I'd spent my entire life searching for.

So what happens when you the thing that gives you passion and purpose eludes you? The ability to do this thing that saved you in your darkest days just up and leaves you. And how do you get it back?

That was the lesson I needed to learn this year. And I'm not sure I've got all of the answers yet. But I think I finally have some of them, at least as far as my own mind and mental health are concerned. So let's review where I'm at, and maybe you can relate. That's my hope at least.

The first and most important thing I needed to learn this year was that it's okay to just survive sometimes.

What does survival look like?

Sometimes it's just getting out of bed. Sometimes it's writing a six-thousand word short story in a single day as if your life depended on it. Sometimes it's staring at a blank screen with a blinking cursor. Sometimes it's refreshing Twitter 573 times over a six hour span. Sometimes it's binging random YouTube videos about astrology or Star Wars. All that matters is that you get to the next day and are still breathing, and that all of your friends and family are still healthy too. Sometimes surviving is just taking that next breath and being grateful for it.

But the hardest thing to manage has been balancing my need to survive with my disappointment at all the goals I have not been meeting. I was hopeful that I would finish my fourth book this year. At least the first draft anyway. I would still have editing and revisions to do, as well as getting the cover made, setting up a preorder, and marketing the hell out of it. Somewhere along the line I switched to a different project in an attempt to keep the creative juices flowing, but I realized a little too late that the problem wasn't the material.

It was me.

You see, my goal was to get both book three of ",The Forbidden Scrolls" and book one of ",The Miranda Project" out next year, allowing me to finish off one trilogy and then start a new one. This would have also given me two new releases in 2021, one in the spring, and one in the fall. But the reality was that as more and more of the year passed by and I spent more and more time simply surviving until tomorrow, the clearer it became that my goals were going to have to be readjusted.

And that was the second lesson that I learned - it's okay to adjust your personal goals as needed when you're feeling overwhelmed. In fact, adjust them as many times as you have to. Put your mental health first and everything else second. Sad that I needed a global pandemic and ensuing lockdown to figure that one out, but here we are. My mother will confirm that I am stubborn, and as such I can be a bit slow on the pick up when it comes to this kind of vital life lesson.

You're boy ain't perfect. C'est la vie.

The third lesson I've learned is that writing is a far more social craft that I've allowed to believe. I know this goes counter-intuitive to the concept of sitting alone at a desk with your head burried in a laptop, but let me explain...

I am an ambivert. For those of you that don't know what that is, it basically means that I straddle the the line between introvert and extrovert. Maybe I do a bit of a square dance on the line sometimes. Either way, I have a need to socialize with people. I thrive in crowds like at sporting events or concerts. I have a local bar-cade that I love to hang out at. I love book stores, and would hang out in one for hours talking with the staff and other customers about fiction and storytelling.

But then I need to go away and recharge. And this entire year has felt like I've been constantly crawling up the walls because my extrovert half can't fulfill it's needs. And thus my introvert half is constantly in fight or flight mode because I can't ever recharge. I'm a little surprised that I haven't gone completely feral in the last ten months (TEN FUCKING MONTHS!!!!) if we're being completely honest about it. I did grow a beard out, but at least I'm keeping it trimmed and looking nice. But the situation is triggering my anxiety constantly, which I discussed in a ,separate blog post way back in July.

That being said, one of the benefits of being a writer with a social side is that you get to be an observer as well. You can people watch, and see how they interact. You start to pick up the details of eye movements, facial expressions, body language, personality traits, and so much more that you can add to your characters to bring them to life.

Now try to recreate that after spending ninety-nine percent of your time locked in your house for ten months. Everything is suddenly like a blank page in a coloring book, and all your crayons are broken. It's like trying to use the leftover broken stubs, and half of the colors are missing.

So needless to say, the longer this has dragged on, the harder it has become to write on both an emotional, as well as technical level. All of the tools in my toolbox have gotten rusty, and I can't do the thing that would probably help the most - go outside and meet people. Get out of the house and just enjoy life. Simply living life to the fullest is the best medicine for an ailing brain, so being stuck in the same rooms all the time is murder on my creativity. When a weekly trip to the grocery store is the most exotic place you can go, you're barely living.

But then again, both my son and I have asthma, and this shit attacks the respiratory system, so I'm not going anywhere.

And I've certainly heard it all. I've passed on a lot of things that I would have really enjoyed over the past ten months, but I did so because nothing is more important to me than my son's safety. I've had people say I was just making excuses, that things really aren't that bad. Meanwhile there's been three-hundred and forty-thousand deaths in the US alone. I've already seen my son intubated once in my life when he was much younger, I'm not going to put him as risk of that happening again just so I can be selfish. So I trust the science and just survive, because that's all I can do right now.

So where does this leave me and my writing? Well I'm not giving up on it. Bullocks to that. It just may take a little longer than I would like it to. I know there's a few of you out there looking forward to the final chapter of ",The Forbidden Scrolls", and I intend to get it to you, as well as lots of other ideas that I still have swimming around in my mind. Sure the water's a little murky right now, but there're in there I swear. The current plan is to try and get book 3 out by late summer 2021. But as we already discussed, it's okay to readjust that goal as needed.

So in closing, I hope find yourself well. It's been a long road and it appears far from over. Either way, remember it's okay to just survive. We'll see each other again on the other side of all this. Just make sure you're there, because have I got a story to tell you...

Dancing with our Inner Demons

Recently I was lucky enough to get an advanced reader copy of The First Stain, a fabulous anthology of short stories by Inked in Gray Publishing ( ,,see my review here ). Within the pages, I found a wide variety of stories from different genres, linked by one central theme; what if the world wasn’t as black and white as we sometimes make it out to be. The stories in this book all offered thought provoking tales that lived in the gray area in between the extremes, though occasionally the gray was more charcoal than light fog.

Recently I had the chance to sit down and go beneath the gray hoodie with Dakota Rayne, founder of Inked in Gray to speak with her a bit about the anthology, as well as what projects they’re working on for the future.

Matt: Kota, nice to have you join me!

Dakota: Hey there! Thanks for inviting me.

M: Inked in Gray appears to have a very specific mission as an indie publisher. What was the inspiration behind starting your own publishing company, and why did you choose the specific direction that you did with regards to the stories you want to tell?

D: You go for the gut right off the bat, don’t you? How much time do you have? Long story short, my life was always quite the mess. Growing up...was a struggle. A bit of a shit show, if you will. But I survived. I didn’t take that path, as tempted as it was. And sometimes it seemed like the only one. And believe me, I wanted to. I had so much rage at what happened. Nothing a young child should have to go through. But despite it all, I was loved. There were people in my world who knew me, but didn’t judge me. There weren’t many. I battled suicide, depression, PTSD, anxiety...all of it. And for some reason, they saw through all that, and loved me anyway. Throughout my life, I saw the same prejudice I was subject to be bestowed upon others and I hated it, because it was like they were shitting on me too. People are so misunderstood. But we can’t do anything about it unless we listen to understand. So that’s what I strived to do. I became a social worker specializing in working with foster care, gang-affiliated, and transient individuals. I wanted them to know that they were heard. That someone cared for them and understood. Their stories are what inspired the need to start Inked in Gray. I want to shed light into all the dark corners of humanity and show the world that there is more to what we think we know. And maybe, just maybe, if we listen to these stories, we can open eyes and make real, lasting change.

So, I took my passion for helping people tell their story, found a few amazing individuals who share my passion of enlightening the world with stories that need to be told (CL Thomas, Sang G Crowe, Sam Hale, and Shea Ballard) and thus became Inked in Gray. If you’re curious for the more in-depth version of our origin story, check out my medium post ,,Why Inked in Gray ,.

M: Tell us a little bit about The First Stain, the concept behind it, and where the idea came from.

D: We have a few authors developing their stories at the moment, so this would be our first publication, our first shout out to the world that “hey this is Inked!” So, we wanted the anthology to embody what we stood for. We had tossed around a bunch of concepts, but when we sat down to think about it, we really wanted to focus on that first moment. Everyone has one...that moment when they realize the world, their life, and/or their place in it, is not as black and white as they thought it to be. The First Stain is thirteen stories thought-provoking stories that showcase that ‘loss of innocence’ if you will.

M: You had a very eclectic group of writers in this anthology, and yet the stories all worked so well together as a whole. Tell us a bit about the contributors and their stories.

D: I love them all - the authors and the stories. As a whole, they are a wonderful and supportive group. I really enjoyed working with them! They all have a unique perspective to contribute, and that’s really what we were looking for when selecting the stories that would eventually be in the anthology.

“Krov” by Sam Hale addresses the aspect of survival in a world devastated by war and oppression, and the depths you may have to go through, and the choices you have to make if you are to survive. It talks about loss, grief, and sacrifice. Sam, as you already know, is my assistant editor at Inked. His writing has a distinct style and voice that I admire.

“Ritual” is a story about anger and revenge, and how much unhappiness one can bear before a choice must be made. It’s about acceptance, or the lack thereof, and how they impact who we become. It is a riveting story that is part of a larger world created by Ernest Solar. I loved editing this one because Ernest has such a powerful voice that speaks to you. You can feel the emotions on the page. If you’re interested he has other works that deserve a look as well.

“The Chain by Sam Hale” - Aw, man, that story! There is a lot of allegory and symbolism in that story. It is about how stories differ based on your perspective of them, and how a mission or life-long endeavor can be corrupted over time, and how no matter what you do, some will not always see the light, and the unfortunate thing about that, is there is nothing you can do to change their opinion.

“Just Deserts” - If you’re looking for amazing grimdark fantasy, Ulff Lehmann is your guy. Fucking amazing writer who weaves these intricate stories with only a minimal amount of words. This story is probably the most horrific (though there is no gore on the page) as it addresses what punishment is deserving of a pedophile - in second person point of view. It really puts you on the spot.

“For the Guild” by Jonathan Mette talks about loyalties and how they are tested. When you make your living through thievery, there is the illusion that there is no loyalty, it is each man for themselves. This story challenges that notion as well as the morally gray aspects of criminal institutions. Family is family, no matter the backdrop.

“The Offering” by CL Thomas talks about the lengths one is willing to go to save the life of someone they love. CL has many stories written, but this is the first one they’ve published. They did have a play that won a spot in a festival in Tennessee, so expect to see many more great things from this author.

“Beyond the Distortion” by KN Nguyen addresses the topic of addiction through a quest for knowledge and truth. The MC is addicted to a drug that lets you relive memories. What she was doing to escape soon turned into a journey for truth.

“The Burden of Sight” speaks about second chances and the what ifs. How powerful is our intuition, and what if it wasn’t Fate or Death, but really us feeling the tension between the two? I wrote that one to multiple burdens that are associated with being an Empath and struggle and regret that can be associated with making a decision to accept (or not) something that you don’t want, but ultimately cannot escape.

“The Aristocrat, The Arsonist” by NK MittzenMacher is definitely a story with a twist. It tells of how easy it can be to see the things we want to see, rather than come to terms with our own trauma. It’s a story that takes us down an unbelievable tale, that shows how easy it is to be manipulated by others and blinded by your own determination. This is also NK’s first published story, but I’m quite sure we will see more from him soon.

“Smells of Desperation” is about how love can be used to hurt others, but also how easy it is to want to love someone who is bad for us. Christina Romero has a magnificent voice that pulls us into a story that ultimately makes your heart bleed.

“Sirens” by Mileva A talks about legacy and how the pressure of following in a parent’s footsteps can lead to us making our own path instead. Mileva has published a lot of short story works in various publications such Flashback Fiction, Open Pen London, and Litro Magazine.

“Little Grays” by Shea Ballard is about how literally nothing is as it seems. We often ridicule and ostracise those that are different from whatever we consider the norm is and this story speaks to that. Shea Ballard has a novel coming out soon, first in a series, that speaks to this topic as well. Look out for that, we expect it to come out in the beginning of 2021.

“Desolate” by Clarence Carter is a perfect last story for the anthology. Clarence has other short stories out in other anthologies coming soon. His story highlights the trials one goes through in isolation, and how you have to adjust your expectations to different scenarios. Learning to be content in what we have, rather than reaching for unrealistic expectations.

It was a joy to work with all of the authors and go through the process with them.

M: I personally loved how the anthology began. The first lines of “Krov” by Samuel Hale really grab you and don’t let go. What was the process like of determining the order of the stories in an anthology such as this?

D: This actually was one of the easy things. It was really based on flow. We wanted the themes and stories to connect to each other in some way. We started with Krov because it really just hit the theme on the head and the opening lines really hooked the reader. We played to each story’s strength in the positioning. For example, Desolation has this feeling of finality, wrapping up the theme with its tone, so it was the obvious choice to finish off our collection.

M: It’s fair to say that I discovered a couple of new favorite authors in this anthology. As a fantasy writer, both J.A. Mette and Ulff Lehmann’s stories nailed my particular genre preference very nicely. Were you familiar with all of the authors and their work before you received their submissions, or did you get to discover some new favorites as well?

D: Nice! I’m glad that you were able to discover some new talent! I love that. Full disclosure? I’m a big fan of Ulff’s work and decided to reach out to him and ask him to submit to the anthology. Jon is a new author that I was acquainted with, but had not read his work, prior to submitting to the anthology. It is always a pleasure to meet a new writer and instantly have an amazing dynamic between writer and editor and I really hope I get to work with both of them again. It was such a wonderful experience. - And full disclosure as well, I think this needs to be said, that all the stories chosen for the anthology were not chosen by me, exclusively. There were some last minute changes, but the anthology contest and initial content was decided by an editor who was given the works anonymously and was asked to rate and choose from all of the submissions. I wanted to make it fair and transparent because I am familiar with some of the authors involved in the anthology.

M: Your own short story, “The Burden of Sight” was one of the more thought provoking tales in the anthology. What was the inspiration for your story?

D: Well fuck. You’re going to make me talk about myself, now aren’t you?! Alright fine. The Burden of Sight is...well, without getting too heavy or philosophical, but it’s an homage to the burden that Empaths have when we know the things we know. It’s about coming to terms with being the bearer of knowledge that no one else has, few others understand, and fewer believe us about. And what do you do with that knowledge? Why do we know those things? Where do those things come from? What if I fuck it up? All of those things were inspiration for The Burden of Sight. I used the medium of saying goodbye because I thought that was something many people could relate to. It’s something so simple that means so much. And what if you could bestow that gift upon someone else? It’s something so precious, in my opinion, that we often take it for granted.

M: In addition to being a writer, you’re also an editor. What’s your top tip for fellow writers when they are self-editing?

D: For self-editing? The biggest tip I can recommend is read your manuscript out loud or stick it in google docs or kindle to review it in a different medium than you are used to. Also, print it out, if you usually work on the computer. It seems simple, but when you change the medium, your brain thinks it’s interpreting something new. It’s a neat trick to look for things like flow, pacing, repeated words, redundancies, things like that. Another tip, that I think doesn’t get mentioned enough, is use the FIND function. Grab a list of commonly used words and phrases and see how many times you objectively use them in text. You may be surprised what your word is or how many times you use it.

M: The FIND function is my best friend. I use it to find my crutch words and eliminate passive voice all the time.

So when can we expect more from Inked in Gray? And what about your own personal writing? Anything new on the horizon?

D: Inked has a ton of new things in the works, actually. We decided to close to general novel submissions on Sept 15th in order to switch gears into some of the other projects we’ve been developing. After general submissions close, we will be releasing the theme for our next anthology. We’re also working on two projects - I’ve been sworn to secrecy for now - that we will be issuing open calls for once we are far enough along on them. I’m really excited about all of them, honestly, and I can’t wait to share them with everyone.

M: Kota, thank you so much for joining me, and good luck with the anthology! Tell us where people can find The First Stain!

D: Thanks for having me! This was a fun time. You can find out more about Inked in Gray here:

The First Stain on Amazon

,https://amzn.to/2YQmgSR

Inked in Gray Website:

,https://inkedingray.com/

Dakota Rayne on Twitter:

,https://twitter.com/inkedingra y

Inked in Gray on Twitter:

,https://twitter.com/inkedingraypub

Inked in Gray on Instagram (IG):

,https://instagram.com/inkedingraypub?igshid=1ifxjy2fbue63

We've Got Another Book Birthday!

August has traditionally been a busy month around here! We already got to celebrate on book birthday earlier this month when ",The Stairs in the Woods" turned two years old, but now it's younger brother ",The Forbidden Scrolls" get it's turn in the sun.

Originally planned as a stand alone novel, somewhere in the writing process "The Forbidden Scrolls" morphed into a trilogy, and the second book ",Redemption & Ruin" came out back in June. I'm currently working on the conclusion of the series, and I can assure you that it's gonna be a doozy.

But in light of today's celebration, I thought it was worth taking a look back at the first installment of the series.

The genesis of the idea for ",The Forbidden Scrolls" is roughly sixteen years old. I had originally thought up Juliya, Frost, and the general concept of the story for a D&D game that I intended to run for a group of friends. Unfortunately, it didn't come to pass, and instead the story just kicked around in my brain for a decade and a half. So after I completed ",The Stairs in the Woods" and realized that I wanted to be a full time author, I knew which story I needed to tell first.

There are a lot of familiar elements to this tale for those of you who have read your fair share of fantasy novels. You've got your magic, your pantheon of gods, etc. For me, the thing I've tried to focus on the most is the characters. I hope that they feel real and raw first and foremost. Despite the fact that this is a fantasy tale, I believe that the more real the characters feel, the more likely they are to grab you and not let go.

To a certain extent, I feel the same way about the world. Teren'vei should be a magical place that both takes you away to another place, but feels grounded enough to be believable. When you climb the snow covered mountains, they should be as much of an obstacle as the harpies hiding in the caves above. When you enter the crystal city of Elind'thas, there has to be a reason why gemstones large enough to be converted into buildings could exist. And even if all of these things aren't described in intimate detail, they still should feel real enough with what is offered that it fits the world without feeling out of place.

Hopefully, if you've picked up ",The Forbidden Scrolls" and "Redemption & Ruin," you think I've done a respectable job of adhering to the concepts listed above. I invite you to judge for yourself, obviously. I've been pleased with the overall response to these books, and I can't wait to share the story's conclusion with you sometime in 2021. I'm hoping for a spring or summer release. Hope to see you all again then, and once again, Happy Birthday "Scrolls!"

Are You Ready for More Autumn Nights?

One of my favorite projects that I’ve had the chance to work on since I began my journey as an author was to take part in the ",,Autumn Nights: 13 Spooky Fall Reads" short story anthology. While short stories aren't usually my forte, I am really proud of how my story “Dawson Farms” came out.

To make the experience even more magical, the first anthology was the #1 New Release in Horror Anthologies off and on for a good part of last September and October. It's also raised over $2000 for the ASPCA so far. I know I speak for everyone involved when I say that we're all immensely proud of both that achievement and the good we were able to do along the way.

One of the people who was instrumental in making sure my story was the best it could be was fellow indie author ,,Cass Kim. She’s the author of multiple YA books, as well as an editor, ghostwriter, and writing coach with a ,,brand new Youtube channel.

Not only that, Cass also is the brainchild behind the Autumn Nights series of anthologies. She was nice enough to sit down with me and discuss the latest installment, “Autumn Nights: 12 Chilling Tales for Midnight” (which is available for preorder right now).

Matt: Cass, thanks for joining me!

Cass: Thanks so much for having me!

M: What was your inspiration for the Autumn Nights anthology?

C: Well, the original inspiration was my love of fall and working with other fantastic Indie Authors, like yourself! Then when the first one was able to do so well for the ,,ASPCA, I really wanted to create one for ,,Feeding America.

M: I had the pleasure of working with some truly talented authors last year for Autumn Nights during the beta reading process, and I really enjoyed reading all of the stories when the book came out. Tell me a little bit about the authors in this year’s edition.

C: Oh man, that’s always the best part! This year we have a few repeats, and a lot of new faces for the series. I still wrote the opening story, just like last year. We had ,,A.W. Wang write a story this year rather than edit. ,,Helen Whistberry brought her talents, and has one of my favorites in the anthology this year. ,,Jacob Klop and ,,Mallory Kelly, who both have published horror books, wrote two stories this year. Another established horror/thriller author who joined us is ,,E.H. Night. ,,Nicole Scarano wrote a short as well as completed the formatting for the interior of the book this year. Plus we have ,,K.A. Miltimore, ,,Martin Shannon, and ,,Meg Holeva back this year.

M: I’ve read the work of five of the authors included before, and I have one of the other author’s in my “to be read pile,” so I’m excited. Sounds like a great cast.

In last year's Autumn Nights, we got a taste of your new Sage Roberts Saga. Are we getting a continuation from you in this year’s edition, or something new?

C: Ahhh..hahah...no. I never did end up writing that series. I’ve put it on the back burner in the interest of writing slightly more mature protagonists for a while. This year we get a taste of the icy waters of Lake Superior and a new CNA [Certified Nursing Assistant] feeling like a fish out of water at her first job.

M: We all got to have A.W. Wang as our editor last year. Is he jumping back into that role for this year as well as writing, or are you taking over that role this time around?

C: Great question! We did three beta readers per story, plus a different proofreader for the final drafts. We didn’t have a copy or line editor this year. I did the developmental editing for the anthology as a whole, determining parameters and selecting story order.

M: Sounds like a good system!

We all had an easter egg to work with last year with regards to the black cat. Can you tell us what this year’s animal easter egg is and what inspired the choice?

C: This year is a Great Horned Owl. I picked that one because it looks spooky and has a lot of versatility. There are actually two things that were required in each story this year, but I’ll wait and see if anybody catches the second.

M: The thing I loved about working on this anthology was the fact that the profits all went to charity. Last year’s edition was the ,,ASPCA. Who’s benefiting from this year’s anthology?

C: This year all of the profits are going to ,,Feeding America to help put food in food banks and on tables in every community across the US. As a note, the profits from last year’s anthology continue to go to the ,,ASPCA - as the series continues the number of charities profiting will only grow.

M: That’s a fantastic cause. I love that we were able to do so much for the ,,ASPCA last year, and look forward to seeing which charities get the nod in the future.

Speaking of authors and animals, I can only imagine that trying to keep us on on task is a bit like herding cats. What are some of the lessons that you learned from the first Autumn Nights that you’ve implemented this year?

C: I have to admit I feel kind of bad for your first anthologists with me, because I learned a lot. I started with a google doc from day one, invited people privately and individually so that they could say no if they wanted to, and had the parameters ready. I also used a blind beta reading method, which allowed me to make sure each author was completing their beta reads, as that was a bit of an issue for the last couple stories turned in last year.

M: Does the surprise #1 New Release success of last year’s version of Autumn Nights add any pressure for this year’s version to do well?

C: SO much pressure! I feel like if we don’t get into the top three at least, I’ll feel like I let everybody down. Plus, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there are a LOT of anthologies out this year. The competition is pretty fierce.

M: Sounds like a few others noticed Autumn Nights’ success last year. However, we did slay Cthulhu last year, so I feel pretty confident for you guys!

Let’s pivot to your own books. As you know, I rather enjoyed your half-pocalypse ",,Wilders" trilogy, though I question my sanity of having read them during quarantine this spring/summer. What have you got in the works now that the series is complete? Or is it?

C: Thank you! I’m really glad you read and enjoyed it. The series is complete, but I gotta admit I miss writing Alyssa a lot. She’s pretty bad ass. I am working on a 4 book series of ghostwritten books at this time, which I can’t share any details on. I’m also constantly doing other freelance projects, so I’m just stewing on my own ideas right now. I might add to my sci-fi space opera, since that’s smaller installments, but otherwise I won’t be publishing under my own name for the rest of 2020, I fear.

M: Well I know that personally I’m very excited to get my hands on this year’s edition of “Autumn Nights: 12 Chilling Tales for Midnight.” When can we expect it out?

C: Presales start August 15th and the Ebook and Paperback will be released into the wild on September 1st!

M: Well I’m a paperback junkie myself and look forward to getting my hands on that bookshelf bling.

Cass, thanks so much for joining me. I hope this year’s edition blows last year’s away. It’s such a good cause, especially with everything going on in the world right now.

C: Thank you Matt! I really appreciate you taking the time to do this interview, and am deeply grateful for the support/time/work you’ve given both anthologies!

If you're interested in picking up either Autumn Nights anthology, you can find them both linked to the images below. And remember, all profits from the sale of either book go to a great charity! It really is a win/win situation!

Happy Book Birthday to "The Stairs in the Woods"

When the clock struck midnight, my first novel ",The Stairs in the Woods" turned two years old! It's exciting to me that my first book has been out in the world that long, and hopefully continues to find new readers for years to come.

But I couldn't let a book birthday go buy without a celebration, could I? Of course not. That's why I'll be running a Kindle Countdown deal tomorrow (8/14/20) only to celebrate the big day. Instead of the regular price of $2.99, the eBook for ",The Stairs in the Woods" will be just $.99! That's an absolute steal.

As I've mentioned in a ,previous blog post, "Stairs" is still my favorite novel that I've released. I wrote this while I was dealing with the fallout from the collapse of my marriage, and as such it's a very personal story for me. In a lot of ways, Kaitlynn's growth mirrors my own throughout the book. She begins the story absolutely devastated at the death of her father, and learns to find the power within herself to overcome the obstacles placed before her.

And if all that is not a compelling enough reason to check it out, I could always just quote Macklemore and say, "Shit, it was 99 cents!" Whatever works for you.

Either way, if you do take this opportunity to jump into Kaitlynn's tale, I hope you enjoy it. It's an important story to me for a lot of reasons. So click the image below to grab your copy fora whopping 67% off while you can!!

Interview With a Fantasy Author

One of my favorite parts of being an independent author is discovering other talents like myself to enjoy. As a reader, I try to partake in a fairly broad spectrum of work to help myself grow as a writer. And being a part of the independent circle of writers, I like to be aware of what my contemporaries are doing. Being a sci-fi and fantasy author however, I do tend to read more of those genres than anything else.

That’s how I discovered the books of ,,Sean R. Frazier.

Sean’s “,,The Forgotten Years” series has quickly become a favorite of mine. Between the interesting take on how the traditional fantasy tropes are turned upside down, to the fairly unique approach to magic in his world, there’s a lot here to love and be inspired by. I’ve personally already read the first three books in the series and rather enjoyed them. The final book in the series, ",,Ascent into Light", just released on August 1st, and I’m expecting my copy to arrive any day now.

While we wait for Amazon to deliver my copy of Sean’s new book, he was nice enough to sit down with me (virtually, of course) to discuss “,,Ascent into Light” and “,,The Forgotten Years” series as a whole in the first of what is going to be a new recurring feature of fellow indie author interviews here on my blog.

Matt: Sean, thanks for joining me and agreeing to be my guinea pig.

Why don’t you start by telling us a bit about where the idea for “,,The Forgotten Years” and Cor’il Silvermoon came from as a whole?

Sean: The main idea for ",,The Forgotten Years" really came from me sort of wishing our mundane world held more magic and wonder. What if dragons lived among us but we simply never saw them? What if, maybe, our history was a lie and the existence of mythological creatures had been covered up? This was my idea over twenty years ago, and it was very rough.

Cor’il’s inception was nothing special. I need a meek, naive character to be thrust into a world he was never meant to be a part of. His first iteration was a bit different from how he finally turned out, however. Both versions were wandering aimlessly without a home but the first Cor’il was on a mission to gather help to defend Kuranthas from invaders.

M: Your books are all fantasy, at least so far. Do you mainly read fantasy, or are you all over the map with your favorite genres? And which authors are some of the biggest influences in your own writing, whether they be fantasy or not?

S: Fantasy is definitely my go-to genre to read. I’m a huge D&D geek and cut my teeth on the Dragonlance/Time of the Twins books, but horror and sci-fi have had their places on my shelves as well. I used to devour Battletech books, and Stephen King was really my first love of reading--back in junior high school.

M: I'm also a huge D&D nerd, so I can relate. The Moonshae trilogy are still some of my favorite fantasy novels.

We get used to certain races like elves and orcs being standard fare in most fantasy tales, but you took a different approach with your series, at least initially. Why the choice to introduce these races gradually?

S: When we get our first view of Cygil, it’s still largely pristine, with humans being the dominant people. I felt it best to introduce the other creatures and races gradually to give the reader the same feeling those people would have--something was amiss but not necessarily something to be concerned about at first. Through the course of the story--and sometimes the characters’ actions--conditions worsen, which shows just how terrible the Realm was before everything was reconciled 200 years ago.

Basically, the reader gets to discover the same things the characters discover, rather than throwing it all out there at once. And, yes, the iconic races are there. It may feel mundane and archetypal, but I did it with a purpose. I needed the reader to feel a sense of familiarity before everything went sideways and deviated from the normal fantasy everyone’s used to.

M: Your take on magic is different from anything I’ve read before. Where you did the idea for “Threadweaving” come from, and do you feel it’s important to keep expanding on what can be done with Cor’il’s powers for each new novel in the series?

S: Creating a unique magic system is supremely difficult, given how much fantasy is out there. I get the idea that many readers grow tired of the same mechanics of traditional spells and wizards. And I can’t even say ",,The Forgotten Years’" magic system is truly unique. Some readers may compare it to Robert Jordan’s system from The Wheel of Time (and there certainly are similarities, but the systems aren’t identical).

When I originally envisioned the Threads and my magic system, there were a lot more rules involved and it really bogged down the story with over-complicated ideas. I refined the system and, in the process, it became far more flexible and interesting. For example, the way Dalinil and Cor’il use magic is very different. Cor’il himself uses the Threads in several varying ways--even using spells occasionally (in the form of short words). What I feel I’ve done is started with something unconventional and given it variety. The way a character uses the Threads can be unique to them--especially if nobody has taught them how to harness their abilities.

Cor’il’s magic evolves through the series as he matures and learns more about the world around him. Dalinil’s ability grows as well, but he never achieves what Cor’il does. Not only did I feel it necessary to grow Cor’il’s abilities, but also to display Dalinil’s roadblocks. The ultimate goal was to show the difference between the two while also conveying the potential for the future. The world, magic, and Cor’il himself all evolve with one another, always tethered. There is, in fact, room for even more evolution of the magic system.

M: Admittedly, Jordan's work is something I haven't read yet due to the commitment involved. That's a lot of books.

There’s a fairly diverse cast of characters that weave their way in and out of the series as it rolls along, even to the point that it seemed like you switched main characters for book three. Was that a conscious choice, or just the way the story happened to lead you?

S: I started the series with an “Iron Man” frame of mind and ended up with "The Avengers." Somewhere along the way, however, I did make the conscious choice. Being a pantser, there are elements of what I write that evolve organically, without intention while some elements are intention. ",,Descent Into Madness" definitely has a different focus and the overall story makes a big shift because of it. ",,Ascent Into Light" continues along those lines, and I think it will keep readers wondering until the very end.

M: As a fellow pantser, I know exactly what you mean. This is how I usually end up writing trilogies when I intend to write a stand-alone novel.

The recently released “,,Ascent into Light” wraps up the series. As a writer with a trilogy in progress, I know how daunting it can feel sometimes to have a series in progress, yet also how rewarding it is when people keep coming back for more of the same characters. Are you sad to see “,,The Forgotten Years” go, or are you looking forward to moving on to new projects?

S: A bit of both. I’ve spent years with the characters of ",,The Forgotten Years" and, during this time, they’ve become more than just characters to me. It’s strange to say, but I have several imaginary friends that exist within a made-up reality. I’ve done things to these people that I’ve felt guilty about, and I’ve taken joy in their triumphs. I will forever miss hanging out with them on a daily basis because, even if I wasn’t actively writing them, I was always thinking about them.

I may never see them again. Certainly, if I do, it won’t be the same.

That being said, I’m waist-deep in my new WIP and, I’ll admit, it’s helped me rebound from such a turbulent, now ended, “relationship.” I’d probably be lamenting more if I didn’t have a rebound WIP to dive into.

M: I'm working on the final book of my own fantasy trilogy now, and I can certainly relate to those mixed feelings.

That being said, I couldn’t help but notice that you have a special edition for “Ascent into Light” as well. What can readers expect to find aside from the alternate gorgeous cover?

S: I made the Chaos Edition primarily for myself--to compile ",,The Forgotten Years" bits and pieces I’d accumulated throughout its journey. Included within is full-color character art, a new map, and some other refinements, plus a look into my next project.

I understand it’s considerably more expensive than the standard books, so it’s sort of a collector’s item, I guess? This is why I’ve chosen to personally sell the book instead of through Amazon. I didn’t want people stumbling across the price and passing out.

M: What are you working on next?

S: My current WIP is "Mage Breaker", a science-fantasy project. It’s an idea that’s been demanding my attention since I began ",,Descent Into Madness". Meanwhile, my comedy fantasy project is sitting in the corner, accumulating dust. I hope to get back to that one soon, though. I’ll most likely have to read what I’ve written just to figure out what’s happened.

M: Sean, thanks so much for joining me, and I’m looking forward to finishing up the series. It’s been a wonderful journey.

S: Thank you for doing the interview! I shout into the void a lot about my writing but it’s always nice to have specific questions to answer!

I'm personally excited to discover the conclusion to ",,The Forgotten Years" saga. My copy of ",,Ascent into Light" arrived while Sean and I were talking, so I'm going to go dig into it now. If you're new to the series, you can click on the pictures below to head directly to their Amazon pages and grab your copies now!

The Road Ahead

We've been leading up to this moment over the last couple of weeks.

With "Redemption & Ruin" releasing in just two weeks, It's time to drop an except on you all. This is the first three chapters, and they're fairly meaty (especially chapter 2).

"Redemption & Ruin" takes place in the immediate aftermath of "The Forbidden Scrolls", so I do recommend that you've read the first book in the trilogy before you dive too deeply into book II.

You can find both "The Forbidden Scrolls" and "Redemption & Ruin" on ,Amazon.com. Redemption & Ruin releases on June 23rd, but is available for presale now.

Thank You Readers

You never really know what to expect when you launch a new book. But I have to say I'm thrilled with the response to the release of "Redemption & Ruin." The first few reviews are trickling in and they've been extremely kind, and somewhat flattering to be honest. I even had one reviewer compare my writing style to a legend of the genre.

Here's a couple of review highlights so far:

,"[Cesca's] style is reminiscent of Terry Brooks, with a variety of interesting and heroic characters, a world of magic, and a quest to save the world from evil."

-Amazon Review

,"Mr. Cesca pulls you into this land and its characters and landscapes and engages the reader with the numerous dangers faced, obstacles overcome, and relationships deepened, until you realize you really care about what happens. I couldn't put this story down!"

-Amazon Review

The Shannara novels by Terry Brooks are well known and respected books in the fantasy community, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't blown away by such a compliment. I hope to have a fraction of the career that Mr. Brooks has had - I would consider that a massive success for an indie author like myself.

In addition to that incredibly positive feedback, "Redemption & Ruin" has shown strong sales over it's first thirty days. It launched on June 23rd, and that catapulted June up to the second best month of sales I've had, falling behind only last August when "The Forbidden Scrolls" launched. Or I should say that June WAS my second best month, but July surpassed last month's sales total today with another seven days to go!

Needless to say, I'm shocked and blown away. Normally the month of a book's launch is the strongest month that book will ever get. But so far, "Redemption & Ruin" has had staying power. And the release of the second book in the trilogy has brought in some folks who are trying out "The Forbidden Scrolls" for the first time as well.

So I've typed all of this in order to say this:

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. I'm still a very small fish in the ocean, but seeing my book finding it's way into people's hands in why I do this. I love storytelling. I love leaving an impression on people. And I love that people are supporting my dream. I hope you all enjoy Juliya's tale. And I hope you know I'm more motivated than ever to finish her story.

Writing in the Time of Quarantine

Hello friends. It's been about two weeks since we last spoke. I'd like to be able to tell you it's because I've been super productive lately, but that would be a lie. The truth is, the last few months have been characterized more by fits and starts, days of staring at a blinking cursor and a blank screen, and an utter restlessness that's been hard to control.

This is the new reality in the days of COVID-19.

It's been a tough few months for all of us, and it's not surprising that there are a few cracks around the edges of society these days (I know I'm putting that mildly). So I definitely don't believe that my experience has been nearly as bad as many folks. I've been lucky enough that I've been healthy, and this virus hasn't physically affected myself, my family, or my friends. Financially, that's a different story... but also not unique.

In the middle of all of this (waves hands at the world), I had a book release for "

But when it comes to actually writing, I've had a pretty hard time. I managed to plow through the first ten chapters of my manuscript for "

Additionally, the sense of claustrophobia from being stuck within the same four walls for almost two months was becoming more intense. The feeling of the walls closing in was palpable. I'm not a fan of small spaces on a good day. Now imagine being stuck in a one bedroom apartment since March. That's been my life.

Now, I'm the type of person who needs to socialize. Not a lot, but some. I'm very much an ambivert in that way. It doesn't even need to be much. Just a trip to a bookstore and a light conversation with one of the clerks can do wonders for my psyche. I need to get out, and then I need to come home and recharge my batteries. With my extrovert half going stir crazy and climbing up the walls, my introvert half never seemed to get a chance to recharge at all.

On top of this, I deal with a general anxiety disorder and depression. I take medication for both, but with my routine thrown off by not working, I can't say that I was taking them regularly like I should have been. So to say that I've been a mess off and on for a few months now is underselling it. There are days when all I do is pace my apartment, other days where I barely get out of bed, and still more where I stare at my laptop all day wishing the words to come of their own free will with no results.

That's not to say that there weren't some good days. I managed to bust out the first chapter for Part III of "

The good news is that I'm regular with my meds again. As such, I've managed to put out an average of 1K words a day for the last couple of days. If I can keep that momentum up, I'm sure that I'll have a manuscript for "The Miranda Project" in a few months. I'm hoping to have it out and in your hands early next year. I expect this story to be part one of a trilogy as well, but definitely shorter than "Redemption & Ruin" was. That book was a monster.

All in all, it feels good to be back on the horse and writing again. It's like riding a bike in that you never really forget how to do it, but that's a muscle that definitely requires constant use or else it atrophies. I already know that I'm going to have to revise this section that I've been working on the last few days, but the important thing is that I'm writing again.

As for the future, it seems like we're all going to be trapped in quarantine for a while still. Here in Arizona, we're experiencing a spike in cases. I'm personally not going anywhere except to the grocery store with a mask on, and to swap my son back and forth with his mother. I hope you're all staying safe as well, and hopefully we can all get through this together.

It's Almost Time!

Can you feel the excitement in the air? Maybe it's just me, I don't know. But we're just a week away from the release of my third novel, "Redemption & Ruin" and I'm pretty stoked about that.

In truth, "Redemption & Ruin" is the culmination of a year's worth of work. Writing this manuscript was a daunting task, as the middle act of a story always is. You need to advance the plot and keep things interesting while still saving the biggest bang for the final act. I like to think that I've pulled this off pretty well, but I leave you to be the judge of that.

One thing I try to do in each story in this trilogy is have a self-contained story that fits within the overarching narrative. In "The Forbidden Scrolls", the story was of Juliya's journey home to the city of Felbreach. Everything in the story leads up to her having to face the demons of her past.

In "Redemption & Ruin", the self-contained tale is that of the six paladins coming together to face Frost as one for the first time. Juliya is still the main character, but the importance of a number of the other characters becomes more far prominent. The chase is the story, as is
the quest to find the scrolls before the evil sorcerer gets his hands on them first.

"Redemption & Ruin" is my biggest book to date clocking in at a tight 529 pages. It takes place in the immediate aftermath of "The Forbidden Scrolls", so I definitely recommend having read the first book in the series first. While the stories are self-contained within the larger narrative, there are important details that are fleshed out in the first book. In the end, I had to walk a balance between having each story stand completely on its own for new readers, and being repetitive for old ones. I choose to stand by the fact that it's a trilogy, and that you're probably going to have to read all of the books to get the full tale.

As this is the middle act, I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that its not going to tie up all the loose ends. However, when you finish Redemption & Ruin, you should hopefully feel like you got a complete story that leaves you wanting for more.

And on that note, some good news; I'm already working on book three in the series. I have a title, but feel like giving that away now would be a bit spoilery for the book that's about to come out. I've also finished the rough draft of the first chapter. While I can't guarantee that this will be the next book that I put out (I am working on my sci-fi trilogy, "The Miranda Project" as well), I can assure you that I don't intend to pull a Robert Jordan and die before I finish this series.

In the meantime, I hope that you enjoy "Redemption & Ruin" as much as I loved writing it. I look forward to hearing what you all thought about the twists and turns this story takes.

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