K. Stephens's Blog, page 6

Lobster and Mashed Potatoes? It'll Work.

This Thanksgiving and holiday season--it's time to give the poor turkey a breather.  It has been the culinary icon of holidays since we were all young enough to maneuver a crayon around all five fingers on construction paper and call it art.

I live in a state where the one culinary icon that symbolizes prosperity--the Maine lobster--is the one export we rely on to get entire communities through our economically stagnant winters.  Like everyone else, Mainers are going on Year Three of The Great Recession.  In a rural state as ours, where jobs are increasingly scare, it's scary. The boat price of lobsters historically used to be high enough to allow a lobsterman to work hard six or seven months of the year--and sustain him over the course of the winter 'til it was time to start again in the spring.

Not in the last couple of years has this boat price per lobster been all that viable.  I'm told, however, that this past season was "very good" and that "no one had a reason to complain." But does that mean even a good lobstering season will carry a fisherman financially through the

That means the guy who busted his butt all summer and fall to catch lobsters is now prospecting ways to plow driveways for the winter or work part-time in factories or do any kind of odd job he can to pay the bills to get through the winter.

It's not an easy or comfortable way to make a living--never was--but lobstering for so many is like farming--it's generationally taught and generationally ingrained. Once you're brought up in this lifestyle, you stick it out--through thick and thin.

The Maine lobster is one of the most coveted, succulent products that Maine has to offer, from an industry that was conservation-minded before the concept of a "sustainable food movement" even existed. Even Red Lobster,  is rolling out a new marketing angle to let their customers feel as though they are smack dab in the middle of Bar Harbor eating real Maine lobster--and not some rock lobster tails farmed in Malaysia.  Though there is not one Red Lobster restaurant located in Maine, they do buy and serve Maine lobster, along with other farmed varieties. Still, if you've tasted the real thing, culled from the coldest, cleanest ocean waters in the U.S., you will know why Maine lobster has earned its incontestable reputation.

So this holiday season, I'm making the case for Maine lobster and butter over turkey and giblets. (Go for the Maine crab and Maine shrimp while you're at it.) Some of my picks for the best places to buy lobster locally as well as to export to friends and family as gifts are as follows.

Young's Lobster PoundGraffam Brothers Food MarketJess's MarketAtwood Lobster Co.Catch a Piece of Maine
Feel free to comment on The Ghost Trap's Facebook page for places you recommend as well (I'm mostly listing Midcoast Maine). Let's keep this momentum going.

Next post? Best original lobster recipes to use this holiday season.

The Top Ten Most Entertaining Questions Tourists Have Asked On Schooners

The Top Ten Most Entertaining Questions Tourists Have Asked On Schooners  This past summer I spent some time with the schooner bums down on the Camden wharf and collected a few of the best questions tourists have ever asked.  None of these have been made up. They are actual questions. 


1. "How do you get the boats to all point in the same direction?"

2. "What do you do with the islands in the winter?"

3. "How many sunset sails do you do in a day?"

4. "How long is your two-hour tour?"

5. (Pointing to the mainland, from where they'd just sailed out of.)
"What town is that?"

6. "What time are we going to get to see the whales?"

7. "What's the difference between salt water and fresh water?"

8. "Is this an island surrounded by water?"

9. (To a 25-year-old deck hand after a tourist asked how old she was)
"Were you on the maiden voyage of 1978?"

10. (After taking pictures of the passengers and announcing that the pictures would be available at the souvenir store on the wharf.)
"How will we know which photos are ours?"

Bonus question because it was too good to leave off the list. And because this is a line also featured in The Ghost Trap.

"What time of year do the deer turn into moose?"

Four more great Maine expressions

Four more great expressions from the winner of our contest, Hal Learnard!

(Hmm these have quite the angle on the ladies. Do we have any good ones we can throw back to the gents?)

While discussing someone who is sick, hungover or exceptionally pale;
His eyes were like two piss holes in the snow!

While observing a well endowed young lady bouncing around without the support of a bra;
Gawd ! Ain't she all adrift.

While discussing a lady of dubious virtue;
She's definitely  T M U ---True Mileage Unknown !

While discussing a lady of sizable girth;
She measures 4 by 4 , whichever way you read your tape.

And The Winner of The Best Maine Expression Is...

Congrats to Hal Learnard of Washburn, ME! In our "Best Maine Expression" contest, he won the most votes with his old-time saying:

HE'S LIKE THE BUTTON ON THE BACKHOUSE DOOR, HE'S BEEN AROUND A LOT!!!!

Now if you didn't quite get what that means (and I have to admit, I was stumped) here's Hal's explanation:

The expression comes from the LOCK on the old time out house.  The door swings out and when closed it is held in the lock position by a short slat with a nail in the middle. When you turn the slat (button) AROUND one way (horizontal) it holds the door against the frame. Turn the BUTTON AROUND to the vertical position and it allows the door to open. Hence : the lock gets turned around a great deal.

Get it? Ha ha ha!!

Anyway, congrats to Hal who gets a personalized copy of The Ghost Trap sent to him today and thanks to everyone else who put in some mighty choice expressions, some of which I'll list here. Some others were just too dirty--(but freakin' funny) to print!

"Give 'er tha dinnah, guy." Usually chanted while someone is doing something stupid and show offy in a big, muddy truck.

"She's got a wicked nice body but looks like someone took a clam rake to her face"

Being a parent: "if you can't feed em, don't breed em."

"It's blowin' like a whore at a Legionairs convention…."

" Jeeh-zus, I wus sweatin hahda than a two dollah whore on fitty cent nite."

How much a girl weighs:
"She's four ax-handles cross the width guy, guy!!!"

How to console someone:
"Get a couplah Bud poundahs in ya and you'll be alright there, guy."

On someone's intelligence
"Oh that guy? He's nummah than a hake."

When your truck won't work.
"What's wrong? Is it all stove up?"

When you see someone you think you know:
"Hey, wasn't you the blueberry princess? Was that you up to Walmahts?"

When something goes wicked fast:
"It's like sh** through a tin horn"

How big is her ass?
"She's got the ass the size of a $2 mule's"

The way Mainers comment on anything:
"Christ, bub. Jeezum, guy."

If you weren't born in Maine:
"Just because your cat has her kittens in the oven don't mean you can call 'em biscuits."

On being scared:
"Shaking hardah than a dog sh****n' razor blades…guy."

The all-time classic:
"Hahd tellin', not knowin'."

How did you get so drunk?
"Well I was "bailin it right to me."

On the proper way to say Bangor
"Banger – I didn't even know her"


Spread this list through Facebook and feel free to add more!

Best Maine Expression You Ever Heard

Hear a clip from Bob Marley to get primed for a classic Maine saying.

"Give 'er tha dinnah, guy" Usually chanted while someone is doing something stupid and show offy in a big, muddy truck.

**

It's blowin' like a whore at a Legionairs convention…. (when a Noreaster comes in.)

**

(On the way a Maine girl looks.) "Shes got a wicked nice body but looks like someone took a clam rake to her face."

I burst out laughing at a few of these that were submitted in The Ghost Trap's first contest (ending Sept 30). The winner will be determined by public vote so if you want to see some colorful expressions (some I can't even print here) vote now.

What the contest is about.

One of the best parts about writing The Ghost Trap was gathering some of the funniest, wittiest backwoods Maine expressions to go into the book such as "that'll skittle yer dillet." If you've got a great Maine expression or saying and want to win a personalized signed copy of The Ghost Trap, post it here and you just might win!

Rules:

You must be 18 to enter the contest. While "colorful" language is inevitably part of this contest, anything that is considered overly vulgar, racist, misanthropic or bashes anyone's gender, sexual preference, racial background or otherwise will be prohibited.

You must be a fan of The Ghost Trap on Facebook to win. Contest is only open to one entry per person. So make it count!

90-Year-Old Grandmother Lobster Fishes Every Day

As promised, I will continue to feature the more fascinating Maine lobstermen that keep this industry alive and well. Meet Ginny Oliver. She'll give your grammy a run for her money. Story courtesy of The Free Press.

I Wouldn't Exactly Call A Book Signing on North Haven Work.

Waterman's Community Center, North Haven, MaineK. Stephens

First of all, you have to be ready to depart on a 9:30 am ferry out of Rockland, for a scheduled 1 pm presentation and book signing. And you can't leave until the 3:30 pm boat departs. So here we are on one spectacularly blue sunny Saturday, for basically an 8-hour stretch. So, this is a commitment. We're in this for the long haul today.

Capt. Ryan Post is with me, along with his 13-year-old nephew Drew Philip, who offered to be our book and DVD pack horse and schlep everything onto the ferry.  Drew's psyched because we put him in our press release picture and now he's our official groupie. All of Ryan's buddies are currently heading out to OxFest, a day-long festival of bands. He'd been hanging out with Geno, his sternman the night before and I'm probably guessing that he'd rather be on his way to Wiscasset with his friends at the moment than on our way to North Haven to work all day.

"Kind of a bus man's holiday for you," I said, as we stared over the white metal rail of the ferry into the churning deep blue water below. "Here it is your day off and you're back on the water."

"Nah," he scoffed. "There's no place I'd rather be than on the water."

An hour later, coming into the Fox Island Thoroughfare between Vinalhaven and North Haven, it strikes me how many grand houses and mansions are thisclose to the water's edge.  Imagine. Spending your summer on this island, the channel right outside your bedroom window. It all seems like out of a sensitive woman's novel, this splendor and gentle living. But, Ryan grew up on an island. You'd better know how to be alone with yourself for long stretches or time without going stir crazy.

Waterman's Community Center welcomes us and we set down all of our gear. After some technical fiddling around with our presentation (great thanks go to Lana and Rachael for their help), we head out for a quick lunch. Soon, it was time for our presentation. The only problem? It's a sunny Saturday on the island. Would you rather be on the beach or in a darkened theater? 

Instead of 40-50 people like we expected, about 15 showed up. (Sigh. Welcome to the typical book signing experience. Even Linda Greenlaw, whom I'd seen a week earlier at her book signing had about 20 or so people show up on a sunny day.) Still, as you can see from the quick clip below (Drew needs to be a little more steady on the camera :), we threw out an entertaining presentation about how the fictional subculture in my novel so closely resembles the one in which Ryan works and lives daily, as evidenced in Maine Buggin, his day-in-the-life DVD.

The thing is, it's all about the experience, not how many books/DVDs you sell.  That's why writers and lobstermen are so similar--you ain't in this for the money, honey, you do it because it's your life. And honestly, with a couple of ferry cocktails on the way back home with the sun bouncing off the water, the comfortable hum of the ferry engines rumbling, and knowing you put in a good day--could there be anything better?
Not a bad place for lunch, eh? Home bound on the ferry

Nothing's Perfect In Maine, But This Day Was

photo: K. StephensA Day in the Life of Maine Lobster Boat Racing
K. StephensMoments before the annual Rockland lobster races start, people are lined up on the Rockland breakwater waiting for some kind of signal designating the kickoff. All kinds of spectators—parents with babies strapped to their backs, dogs, locals and tourists—wait patiently.  This is the first year in several that it has been a bright hot day with perfect visibility. For the moment, their only distraction is several hundred feet away. Parallel to the breakwater, dozens of lobster boats are rafted up together.  From the breakwater you can hear the cheers and laughter across the water. This is a flotilla of locals, the tight-knit lobstering community known for working hard and partying harder.

"Wow, how much fun would it be to be hanging out on one of those boats?" a spectator says thoughtfully.

Aboard the Total Eclipse out of Owls Head, ME, this is how much fun it is. It's finally summer here in Maine. It's finally hot out. No one lobsters on a Sunday, that's just the rules—so everyone is making the most out of the day off, chatting and laughing or climbing over the rails to socialize on neighboring boats nestled alongside one another. These are people who have grown up together. Everyone here is someone who lobsters in the area, who has married into it, who works in the community or who has some kind of connection to lobstering. The vibe is Key West friendly. Coolers of every size line the stern. A picnic table and a grill has been set up. Michael Jackson's "Beat It" blasts out of the speakers as girls in bikinis and shorts dance and air guitar. A variety of drinks are in people's hands: wine, Jell-O shots, Bud Lites, a special cider from South Africa. Clayton's gripping onto a two-gallon cooler of vodka and grape juice like some one might rip it away from him.

A sharp whistle pierces the air. "Everybody quiet down and turn to Channel 10," yells Scott Herrick, one of the organizers. The noisy crowd passes the message from boat to boat until everyone settles down. Sandie Galvez, a petite mom of teenagers who could pass for a 25-year-old, gets on the VHF radio and begins singing "The Star Spangled Banner." A former lounge singer from L.A., her voice comes clearly over the mike as she nails the high notes at the end. This particular song produces goose bumps, especially in this charged atmosphere. At the conclusion of the song, a roar of cheers spills out of the rafted boats.

Now it's officially party time.

More than 110 lobster boats from all over the state will race at this event. This lobster boat race competition takes place in a variety of locales from Portland to Winter Harbor in the summer, but here in Rockland, considered "The Lobster Capital of The World," the races are particularly exciting. As the first boats of the lobster races spray rooster tails, there is a deafening engine blast from one of the boats as it takes an effortless lead. The cheers from the rafted lobster boats go up along with hands holding red plastic cups.  The racers circle around and cruise on by the flotilla to get their accolades as sea gulls decide at this very moment to suddenly swoop in and do these crazy zig-zig aerials. At once it is a confetti of birds, like a ticker-tape parade.

The grills are cooking full throttle. "Who wants a meat stick?" The cooler lids open and close.  A couple of girls dive into the bottle green ocean. Some do front flips off the stern. Clayton is bobbing in the water, his vodka grape juice cooler his only personal flotation device. A couple of boats over, where the kids are a little younger, people get yelled at for letting their Jell-O shot cups litter the water, as someone from the older crew dives in to collect debris. These are people who protect their waters fiercely. "You know better!" someone yells.  Then, the mood goes back to playful as another cry rings out: "Survival Suit Contest!" Within moments, five guys are frantically wriggling into full body neon orange immersion suits designed to keep someone warm and protected in the water in case of emergency.  To the crowd's delight, they don their suits in less than 10 seconds and launch themselves over the side of the boat.

Soon, a recognizable boat comes around the bend.  With a half dozen people on board, the 40-foot lobster boat The Instigator approaches and everyone knows who Ryan Post is. Largely credited for organizing the earliest lobster boat races, Post is a rising voice in the lobstering community. Given the cheeky nickname "Captain Hollywood" by his friends, he is the creator of the educational lobstering DVD Maine Buggin, and is regularly consulted on public lobstering matters in the news. Right now he's got radio personalities Tom O. and Mr. Mike from WTOS's The Morning Mountain Show on board and the crowd whoops it up every time The Instigator passes by. Also on board is a video crew. Word is that the Portland marketing company, Aura360, was on board to get footage to turn into a pilot that it can pitch to television networks. The idea is to produce a television series based on the races similar to the hit show "Deadliest Catch.

In the end, Galen Alley, of Beals Island, has won the race, setting a new speed record. He was clocked at 68.1 m.p.h. in his 30-foot fiberglass boat, Foolish Pleasure, breaking his own record of 64.5 m.p.h., which he set last summer.

"This has been such a beautiful day," said Stacy Campbell, in her bikini and beat-up straw hat gazing out at the water. "Everybody you'd ever want to spend time with is right here." There is no such thing as a "Perfect Maine."  But today, living, working and celebrating in a lobster community is about as close as it gets.


To see more pictures of the day, fan "The Ghost Trap" on Facebook and view "Photos"
photo: K. Stephens

Get Ready To Catch a Piece of This

Captain John Ready Captain Brendan ReadyThe next few posts are going to be about Maine's people, about lobstermen and sternmen (and by the way those titles encompass both genders) who have a story to tell. The Ghost Trap isn't about lobsters. It's about the characters who work hard, live hard and inspire us not to complain about an 8-hour day.  Summah time is heating up. Let's see who's up on the docket.

Meet cutie pie brothers John and Brendan Ready, owners and operators of Catch A Piece of Maine. Recently featured by US Airways Magazine (which I happened to recently see on my flight home ) the Ready Brothers have come up with a fresh solution to Maine's morass when it comes to marketing the lobster brand. According to the US Airways article, "The Ready brothers graduated with degrees in business from Boston's Northeastern University and Stonehill College in nearby Easton, Massachusetts. And they both knew they were coming home to Portland. 'You can walk down the street and still see fishing boats, and on the other side, boutiques,' John Ready says. 'It's the best of both worlds.' " 

What they're doing is they're allowing customers to own and receive their very own "share" of the catch direct from their crew of personal lobsterman. This model is very similar to CSAs, which is a popular way for consumers to buy local, seasonal food directly from a farmer.  We're in a global trend where a lot of people want to know local food comes from. We're in a social media culture where we also want to know who butchers it, grows it, farms it, catches it. The Ready Brothers understand this. That's where they bring the "personal" in. For example, they offer a "Premium Partnership, where you actually own a lobster trap in Maine and all of its catch for the entire year to be shipped to any destination of our choice, or a 'Lobster Share' entitling you to a gourmet dinner for four delivered anywhere in the country."  Their promise entails: "Most importantly, we are bringing you closer to the dock allowing us to sell direct so that we as lobsterman earn a premium and effectively preserve the traditional working waterfront."

This more than anything, makes them my heroes. We have a lobstering industry that is breaking its back. There are plenty of lobsters to be caught, but Perfect Storm of a double dip recession, encroaching government regulations, an exorbitant rise in bait/fuel and shockingly low (some say price fixed) boat prices are devastating the livelihood of so many of our lobster fishermen. The rising voices of the lobstering industry have been calling for innovation in terms of branding and marketing and these guys have simply taken what is fascinating (the lives and hard work of lobstermen) and turned it into a viable market.

According to their website:

Catch a Piece of Maine was created, with the help of family, friends, and fellow lobstermen, in part as a response to the financial realities of the lobstering industry and as a means to introduce you to our traditions, trade and the sea. Through Catch a Piece of Maine we have toppled the barriers between lobsterman and consumer, allowing those who love to eat the freshest most delicious lobster a chance to get to know the dedicated lobsterman who harvests their dinner. Bringing the consumer closer to the dock allows us to sell direct so that we as lobsterman earn a premium and effectively preserve the traditional working waterfront.

We as lobsterman are all stewards of the sea; always making sure today's catch is available for tomorrow's lobsterman. Our industry exemplifies hard work, tradition, heritage, and sustainability. We pride ourselves on our eco-friendly manner of harvesting, producing little to no by-catch and enforcing strict laws to allow the release of all lobsters too small and too large. Lobstering is hard work and capital intensive, requiring boats that cost as much as a house, on top of equipment, traps and fuel. In the past several years the price of bait and fuel has tripled while we've watched our working waterfront slowly disappear.

Stay tuned for more stories of people who exemplify the word True Mainer.