Naughty Netherworld Press's Blog: Naughty Netherworld Press on Goodreads, page 108

Wordy Thursday: Platonic Friendships are Important

The Ornery Old Lady is not a fan of WordPress.
Wordpress' overly aggressive Spam filter is the bane of my existence on many occasions. I attempted to leave the following comment on this post about the best fictional couples. The comment may have gone to a moderation queue, but I suspect it was eaten as Spam. 
Here is my comment.
My most recently published work is a buddy story rather than a romance, but I guess one could say there's a lot of bromance in this book. 
There's a fun pairing between a human ghost and a Lovecraftian creature who meet up with a couple of ghouls who are longtime friends. This odd bunch form a quartet on a quest to save the Universe from itself. 
The older I get, the more I prefer to write about platonic bonds rather than romantic ones. Romance seems so often to contain a toxic and possessive undertone. Admissibly, I may just be old and bitter. I never was any good at romance in real life.
Here are some further thoughts, and a bit of shameless self-promotion.
The Dreamlands Bro Squad consists of:
Ketil Nagel, the spirit of a Swedish underground metal vocalist who sacrificed himself to the vampire goddess Mormo on 6 June 1991, when he was 25 years old.
Robin Roberts, a ghoul who was a petty thief during his lifetime. Robin perished in London during the influenza pandemic of 1918. He morphed into a ghoul due to dabbling in the wrong magic for the right reasons.
John Tamboli, a ghoul who in life made what money he could by doing a variety of odd jobs. He wasn't particular about the legality of the jobs he was hired for. John also perished in London during the influenza pandemic and morphed into a ghoul for similar reasons to Robin's.
"Yitzy," a member of the Great Race of Yith. Yithians in their best-known form are long-lived asexual creatures who reproduce infrequently by means of spores. Yitzy is not in any way bothered by being perceived as masculine and would not be bothered by being perceived as feminine. 
There is not one sliver, scad, or iota of romantic interaction in this novella. But there is bromance aplenty. 
I find that platonic friendships tend to take a backseat to romantic ties. I feel that this is a shame. Bromance, sisterly love, and opposite-sex platonic friendships are just as important as romantic bonds. 
~Cie the Ornery Old Lady~

Ornery OwlImage copyright Open Clipart Vectors
Notes:The Great Race of Yith were created by H.P. Lovecraft.The ghouls referenced in this post are Lovecraftian ghouls.

Insecure Writers Support Group 5 February 2020

The question:
February 5 question - Has a single photo or work of art ever inspired a story? What was it and did you finish it?
The answer:That photo above.
The story in question was a bit of paranormal romance tripe written by a very stupid, very self-absorbed, very obsessed, very messed-up, and very incorrectly diagnosed psychologically disturbed young woman. Yeah, that would be me, or at least who I used to be, and I suppose I should have some sympathy for the silly twit, but honestly, most of the time I'd just like to go kick her simpering ass until she gets some sense because I'm still paying for her shithead mistakes. If I'm to be honest, I hate her a whole lot.
The story was based around a fellow with whom this screwed-up young lady was obsessed. She created a character in his image. That character was tall and moderately muscular with dark golden-blond hair and dark blue eyes. He was ruggedly handsome, and he was a reluctant vampire. 
The story was lacking a lot of things, and one of the things it was lacking was a good villain. Miss Simpering Twit started writing it in 1986 or 1987, somewhere thereabouts. She put it aside for a while because it was stalled. In 1990, she ended up having her only child, a son, which caused her to mature somewhat. Her son grew up listening to great music because although Miss Simpering Twit may have been a simpering twit, she did have great taste in music.
I don't remember exactly when or how the album Poison was discovered. Ms. Simpering Twit was a fan of Alice Cooper. She may have been shopping for CDs with birthday money or such and discovered it then. The CD was released in July 1989. It became a fast favorite. Then one day Ms. Simpering Twit was looking at the cover, and it came to her like a flash...like a vision.
Pretty-boy reluctant vampire Andrew should have an evil and not reluctant badass brother. When employing his glamour, he would look quite similar to Alice Cooper on the Poison CD cover. When not employing his glamour, he would look more like the image on Alice Cooper's shirt. His name was Jarius or Jared, depending on how much he was trying to blend into modern society.
I still like Jared, and, to a degree, I like Andrew, although I hate what he represents. I finished the story, sort of. A lot of changes were made to it. I published it through a POD publishing company. Hell, I even ended up with a number one fan. This was back in 2007
I learned that having a "number one fan" is scary. 
I ended up getting death threats.
I spent thousands of dollars and learned the hard way that POD publishing is terrible.
I stopped writing for several years.
The story isn't even that bad, but I know that I'll never re-release it or write the second book in the series. There's too much bad blood with it.
I still love the Poison album. Tell me Alice Cooper doesn't just look the part of a badass vampire.

Ornery and InsecureImage copyright Open Clipart Vectors

A Tasty Offer: MFRW Book Hooks + Tidbit Tuesday 5 February 2020

The previous snippet from this book can be found here.
Blurb:Geeky Gandy Stafford's lifelong fantasy comes true when he meets the otherworldly Dorma and Desyra. These last remnants of a botched extraterrestrial invasion discover that they require a great deal of energy to maintain their human forms.
The easiest way to obtain essential power?
Sex, and lots of it.
Snippet:“Oh, good!” Gandy replied. “I...I probably wouldn’t taste that good anyway. My diet isn’t exactly stellar. I’m a bit of a junk food junkie. I could get you something to eat, though. Would you like some ice cream? Oh. You probably don’t even know what ice cream is, do you?”
“We wish to learn of your planet. Teach us what you know.”

Come as You Are Party/Catching Up With the Ornery Old Lady

Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay
Hiya people! I had myself a little bit of a mental breakdown over the past week and went MIA, not, I'm sure, that anyone missed me. I came to one of those crossroads points in my life where I needed to make a critical decision. I'll just let this tentative introduction that I wrote for the book I'm currently working on tell you all about it.

A NEW TAKE ON AN OLD ISSUE

Here's how I will introduce my longer, more involved books from this day forward.

The chapters in my books can be read as standalone short stories or interpreted cohesively as a longer novelette/novella/novel. During the first half of my life, I had a lot of people tell me that my writing would never be good until I was able to make it conform to their ideals. Now that I am in the second half of my life, I refuse to apologize any longer for the way my mind and brain work or to force my writing to conform to rules decreed by others.
I have ADD (attention deficit disorder), type 2 bipolar disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. These factors affect the way my brain processes information and the way I write. While I strive to make my writing concise in its own way and to continually improve my skills, I will never be able to write novel-length stories in a cohesive fashion. My mind simply cannot stop developing subplots.
It came to a point where I realized that I must either stop sharing my work or start sharing it without apologies for the fact that I neither think nor write like other people. I have chosen to share my work with an explanation but no apology.
I write the way I see the Universe as working: in a sometimes seemingly haphazard and disconnected fashion with an unseen thread connecting aspects in surprising ways. As the Tenth Doctor once said, “People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective point of view, it is more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey...stuff.”
My stories are a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff, and I will no longer apologize for that. I will simply issue the warning that you are now entering the Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often, as was once revealed on Johnny Bravo.
If that sort of thing really is your bag, Baby, then welcome! Leave your expectations at the door, and come join Team Netherworld for an adventure like no other! You may at times be baffled, but I promise that you will never be bored.

Cie the Ornery Old Lady with a Mind Like a MazeI would dare you to try and figure me outBut that wouldn't be fairBecause I've never managed to figure myself out!
Check out the latest and greatest from Team Netherworld

Weekend Writing Warriors/Snippet Sunday 2 February 2020

Click the Banner to read other snippets

The following snippet is from Team Netherworld's recently published novella, Ketil and Yitzy's Adventure in the Xura Dream House. The previous snippet from this story can be found here. Further details and a link to purchase the book will follow!
“Yithian, I fear the concept of ‘overly simplistic’ has evaded you. Your explanations are always quite detailed. However, I am tremendously pleased that you have decided to assist me. I did not know it at the time but embarking on this task which I have placed before myself is much more pleasant with a companion. Not just any companion, mind, but the right sort of companion. Perhaps it is so that the Universe felt that we ought to meet. As you have observed, it certainly seems that we can benefit one another. Now, shall we enter the house together?”
~Cie for Naughty Netherworld Press~


Notes:I have generally used the Weekend Writing Warriors blog hop to share WIPs up to the point when the WIP is published. However, the WIP I had been sharing has done some really weird things, and I am trying to get it under control. So, I am going to be sharing the adventures of Ketil and Yitzy for a while. I love this story, so it isn't as if it pains me to share it. It also gives me an excuse to share some fun pictures of members of the Great Race of Yith. However, I thought that this time I would share an image of Ketil that I created while messing about in Pixlr.

The amateur ghost photographer ran screaming from the building moments after capturing this image, which pleased Ketil to no end.
I won't take up too much space in this post rattling on about personal issues. If you're interested, you can catch up with me on Sunday at the Come as You Are Party.

Come and Get It: MFRW Book Hooks 22 January 2020 + Tidbit Tuesday

The story is free from January 21 thru January 25, 2020. Click the preview link to check it out! After the 25th, the price returns to 99 cents.
Last week's snippet is here.
Blurb:Geeky Gandy Stafford's lifelong fantasy comes true when he meets the otherworldly Dorma and Desyra. These last remnants of a botched extraterrestrial invasion discover that they require a great deal of energy to maintain their human forms.
The easiest way to obtain essential power?
Sex, and lots of it.
Snippet:Gandy watched as sparks blipped in the forms of the two jelly-like aliens. He realized they must be communicating with each other. Suddenly, the pair extended pseudopods from their gelatinous forms and reached into the brush, dragging the terrified groundskeeper to them.
“No, please, please, don’t eat me!” Gandy begged. “I won’t tell anyone what I saw, I swear!”
The aliens pressed their pseudopods to Gandy’s temples. He could suddenly understand their thoughts.
“Fear not, Terran. We have no intention of consuming you.”

Boycott Aaron Carter: Art Thief and Asshole

So, dumpster fire and talentless hack Aaron Carter is ripping off the work of an actual artist to promote his shitty merchandise.


Here is the location of the tweet in case you’d like to respond to Aaron’s entitled temper tantrum. https://t.co/MG78rgCwZr
Here is the article on Forbes where I first learned of this incident. It includes a picture of Jonas’ art.https://www.forbes.com/sites/nadjasayej/2020/01/18/berlin-artist-jonas-jdicke-speaks-up-about-aaron-carter-art-fiasco/#6fe442482b6f
I added the following sentiment to my retweet of Aaron’s cosmically shitty response to Jonas Jodicke’s classy request that Aaron stop using his art without his permission.
It's probably too much to ask for @aaroncarter to not behave like a complete trash fire for once in his arrogant, entitled life. Aaron is ripping off @JoJoesArt because he doesn't have an original bone in his entire body. Don't buy his overpriced merch, he doesn't deserve a cent.
I wouldn’t wipe my ass with Aaron’s overpriced clothes. Please share this so everyone knows what a colossal douchebag Aaron the Art Thief is.

Weekend Writing Warriors 19 January 2020 (PA, RO, SF)

Diane dried her dark eyes and put on her glasses. She made her way to the kitchen to put the kettle on the stove.
“I’d another one of those dreams, Dain.”
“The ones frae the future?”
“Cer. I’m an Arab girl, adopted by a dreadful churl of a man and his weak wife. I’ve two brothers, wee twins, six years younger than me. Their names are Gerry and Paul.”
“Di, do ye not suppose ye might be projecting yer emotions over Gerry’s troubles into yer dreams, Love? And, after all, you yerself were adopted.”
~Cie for Naughty Netherworld Press~
This snippet comes from Team Netherworld's current WIP, The Ballad of Gerry Clifford. It is the first book in the "Fetch" series and is part of The Yadira Chronicles.
Diane Clifford Savage is Gerry Clifford's elder sister by twenty years. Dain Savage is her husband. Dain and Diane have been married for 48 years.

Coming to Earth Again: MFRW Book Hooks 15 January 2020 + Tidbit Tuesday

Click the preview link to check out the story. I uploaded the second edition and lowered the price to 99 cents. I am planning to have a few free promo days for this book, but I have to wait for Amazon to finish approving my changes before I can create a promo. This book is the first in the Carnal Invasion series and was originally published on June 20, 2018.
Blurb:
Geeky Gandy Stafford's lifelong fantasy comes true when he meets the otherworldly Dorma and Desyra. These last remnants of a botched extraterrestrial invasion discover that they require a great deal of energy to maintain their human forms.
The easiest way to obtain essential power?
Sex, and lots of it.
Snippet:


When the Earth invasion fleet from Gamma Iridon was wiped out by irradiated space junk, there were only two survivors. 110X1 was the spawn of the vice-admiral and 1X0X1 was the spawn of the lead wing commander. The pair were notorious for being exceptionally lazy; when space junk devastated the fleet, they were napping in an escape pod, which detached from the doomed flagship and fell to Earth, landing in a sand trap at Big Putt Golf Haven at the stroke of midnight.
The pod dematerialized ninety seconds after the surprised occupants evacuated. No-one witnessed the event except for countless mosquitoes, several hundred fireflies, approximately 108 mice, one screech owl, and a young groundskeeper named Gandolph Stafford, known to his gaming friends as Gandy.
“Holy chimera crap!” Gandy gasped.
The evacuees of the pod initially appeared to be amorphous, transparent blobs. Gandy attempted to stay hidden from them. He was just twenty-five years old, and he had every intention of celebrating his twenty-sixth birthday in 172 days. The invaders, however, had far more advanced senses than humans.

Carpe Diem New Beginnings: Ornery Senryu: First Sunray

Image Source
first rays of sunshineafter working the night shiftfelt like a vampire
~The Ornery Old Night Owl~


Image Copyright Open Clipart Vectors Ornery Literary Services
Ornery Notes:I haven't had to work the night shift in close to three years now. But I'm still a night owl!The night shift was always fine for me until about three or four in the morning. The last three or four hours were horrible.

Visit the Artist
Ghost Town Grover Sez:"I gotta tell y'all, on Halloween night in Telluride in 1880, I was whoopin' it up with some of the other miners, and when I went out behind the saloon to drain the ole rattlesnake, this pale feller with slick black hair wearin' a fancy cape come floatin' up beside me. I asked him if he wanted to come into the saloon and join me and the fellers fer a swig of Amos Fine's Famous Shine. 
That high-fallutin' feller said in a hoity-toity way that he didn't never drink Shine. Now, maybe he was jest eccentric or somethin', but when Father O'Malley come outta the saloon wearin' his big ole silver cross on a chain, that feller hissed like an angry tomcat, hollered "BLUH!", pulled his cape over his face, and turned tail and run. 
Maybe he'd bin slippin' outta the church after Sunday meetin's without tithin' proper, but there shore was somethin' weird about that fancy-pants stranger, and he shore didn't take a shine to the good Father and his shiny cross.
Visit the Artist
Cactus Clem Sez:"Well, Grover, I bet y'all didn't know it, but Ornery actually is a vamper. I done heard her tellin' someone all about how she got hammered on cactus juice on Saint Patrick's Day in 1992 an' ended up sleepin' on someone's bathroom floor! She ain't tried to drink the juice from my veins yet, but I'm gonna have to sleep with one eye open on St. Patrick's Day!"
Image Source
Further Ornery Notes:Cactus Clem doesn't have anything to worry about. I really can't drink more than a few sips of beer or wine these days. But if you're feeling daring, you can click the link above and try the drink that the cute little buffalo is serving up!